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Aunt Blabby Tells All.
bea wants all you sweathogs to take a look at what a REAL man is supposed to look like
Posts: 3,223
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Post by ape on Nov 17, 2005 16:01:57 GMT -5
*a black-and-white promo airs...a bethoven symphony is playing in the background of a black screen. there is a flash of a rusted lamp illuminating an empty room, then the screen is black once again. there is another flash. this time, ape is standing behind the lamp with his head down. again, it cuts to black. a sharp scream is heard and the music comes to sudden hault. the black fades to an extreme close-up of psychoapeguy's mangled eye. laughter is then heard as ape's voice picks up in the background*
hehe...i've seen the light....hehe....i'm coming....i'm coming back.....i'm...coming home....hehe....
*the mangled eye blinks and the screen turns to black. there is complete silence. after a few seconds, a blood-curdling shriek is heard and the black cuts to ape standing behind the lamp, slowly slitting his forehead open with a razor. suddenly the scream is cut out with silence, and the camera quickly zooms into ape's mouth, where a smile is forming as the blood trickles and drips off of his lips. the image fades to static as the promo ends.*
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Queen Rosa
Mike the Goon
All hail the queen!
Posts: 30
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Post by Queen Rosa on Nov 17, 2005 16:53:26 GMT -5
*Fade back up to ringside. "It's My Time" hits*
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making her way to the ring, being accompanied by the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels, Rosa!
*Rosa and HBH are greeted with boos from fans as they walk to the ring. Then "I Know You Want Me" hits*
RA: And her opponent, Tammy Sytch!
*Tammy walks down the ring, appearing to be drunk. Rosa grabs a mic*
Rosa: Oh my goodness. What the hell has happened to you? You know, I used to look up to you back when you were known as Sunny in the WWF. I wanted to be just like you. You were the hottest woman on the planet. But now, now you're nothing more than a drunk hasbeen!
*Crowd boos. Tammy goes for a punch, but Rosa ducks and hits her with a stiff kick to the head*
The bell rings to start the match. Rosa picks up Tammy and drops her with the Northern Lights Driver. She goes for the cover.
1... 2...
3! *Bell rings*
RA: Here is your winner, Rosa!
*Rosa and HBH do a little celebrating and taunting Tammy before leaving. The ref tries to help Tammy up. He gets her up, but then she throws up on him and is back down again. The crowd lets out a collective "Ewww" and the ref calls for help. More referees come out from the back. They lift up Tammy and carry her out of the ring*
*Cut to next segment*
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Nov 17, 2005 18:15:55 GMT -5
We find ourselves next to the Match board, Maelstrom is looking at it with interest. Next to the Board both doors to Toomi's Office and Curly Long's new abode can be seen both are shut. Terri Runnels suddenly runs up to Maelstrom
TERRI: Hey Maelstrom, whats happening?
MAELSTROM: Hi Terri, say where's Ultimo I thought you hung out with him?
TERRI: He's a bit busy at the moment, he's claiming to be the Savior of the Toolshed Title or something ... but what are you up to?
MAELSTROM: Well Terri being the Tri-State Champion is a lot of work, I've been meeting the fans, defending the title whilst also looking after my aquarium and making sure the Tide turns for the better.
In the background Curly Long suspiciously sneaks out of his office
TERRI: Speaking of Tides turning, I hear Chance Confidence is after your title ... are you worried?
MAELSTROM: Ah yes ... the really arrogant P.T.A member. Well I'll give him his due, his record is pretty good so far .. .he's undefeated, he beat David Davies in his PPV debut and he can dish out a decent beating ... wait that sounds awfully familiar ... who had an entrance into the EWT like that ... ah yes .... that would be Me!!
Maelstrom's face takes a serious tone
MAELSTROM: But unlike my story this is where Confident's chance runs out .... you see he may be the new kid on the ladder ... but he's climbed a bit too high and now he's out of air! ... but hey talking won't settle this, action will and thats what I am Terri ... a man of Action! ... so at 'Rebirth' ... I want Chance Confidence in either the 'Escalator to Heaven' match or 'The Scaffold Match'! .... either way Chance your streak is about to hit the rocks! ... and its going to split you straight down the middle! ... sending you to a watery grave! ... as the Whirlpool will have you!!... for you see ...
At this point Curly Long sneaks past in the background. The camera focuses in on Curly. He is with a couple of rough looking 'ladies of the night'. There looks would put off even the most drunken and desperate sailor... while there skanky outfits have clearly seen far too many hard nights on the street. Despite this an evil grin has appeared across Curly's face
CURLY: Okay ... Ladies, do as I asked and I'll pay you twice what I'm just about to give you ... heheh
... Curly gives them a wad of dollars and then takes them to Toomi's Office door, he gives a knock and then hides behind the Match Board. Toomi answers and the two women throw themselves at him pushing him back into his office. As the Office door shuts Toomi's shirt can be seen being ripped off under much protest ... Mr. Big then casually walks by and moves the match board in front of Toomi's door ... effectively locking him in ... Curly and Mr. Big head back to there room high fiving on a successful plan. The camera goes back to the interview
MAELSTROM: ... er ... sorry Terri where was I?
TERRI: ... y'er .. Chance ... thats right your thoughts on Confidence?
MAELSTROM: Well Terri we'll just have to see how confident he is in the ring ... because when the Whirlpool hits he won't be getting back up .... because ...
The Crowd joins in
MAELSTROM (with crowd): The Tide Will Turn!
Maelstrom walks off, whilst Terri strolls off in the other direction, leaving us next to to Toomi's Office Door. Some rather loud protesting combined with the occasional male moaning can be heard coming form Toomi's office. Curly and Mr.Big walk past
CURLY: I wonder if those two harlots have taken all there clothes off yet?
A loud male scream of terror is suddenly heard, as the camera watches Mr. Big and Curly walk off down the corridor
CURLY: Ah .... y'know Big its good to see Toomi E. Dangerously accepting new Members to the EWT ...
Curly Laughs maliciously as we fade out
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Post by paulpodanski on Nov 17, 2005 18:45:19 GMT -5
Paul Podanski storms backstage, heading for JBL's locker room, since he doesn't know he still doesn't have his title. The Bashams open the door.
Danny: Hey! What the hell...
Doug: ... do you want?
Paul: My friggin title! Where's that wall street reading, bagel chomping, jackass?!
The Bashams shrug at each other.
Danny: We don't actually...
Doug: ... Know where he is.
Podanski grabs them both by the throat and lifts them up high.
Paul: Well guess what... I think you're lying. And if I have to, I'm gonna rip your damn eyebrows off!!!
The Bashams look terrfied.
Doug: No not...
Danny: That Paul!!!
Doug: That would...
Danny: Hurt alot!!!
Paul looks at them annoyed.
Paul: Ok, that's getting REALLY annoying. Stop acting like twins and tell me where JBL is!!!
The Bashams nod.
Doug: He went to...
Danny: The restroom!!!
Paul looks at them and smirks.
Paul: Now that wasn't so hard was it?
He lets go of them and drops them on the floor. Podanski quickly exits and heads for the bathroom. The Bashams slowly rise up off the floor.
Danny: So want to go...
Doug: ... try to get dates?
Cut back to Paul whose headin towards the bathroom, bumping right into Orlando Jordan. He looks up and slowly backs away.
Jordan: Aren't you that nut who beat the crap out of people looking for an interview?
Podanski looks down and nods.
Podanski: Yeah... how'd you guess?
Orlando points to his shirt which says " Yes, I'm Paul Podanski " Paul looks down and gives Orlando a boot to the face.
Podanski: That's for almost ruining the US Title!!!
Paul quickly kicks down the bathroom door, causing assorted Male EWT Wrestlers and Jobbers to run out screaming. Toomi walks by and watches.
Toomi: That's coming out of your pay Podanski!!!
Paul walks into the restroom and starts kicking stalls open, looking for JBL. He finally finds him in the last stall.
JBL: AHHHHHHHHHH!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU"RE DOING YOU PERVERTED FREAK?!
Paul looks at him, then down at his pants... which are on the floor. Thankfully, you can't see anything from the camera angle.
Paul: Hey Richy Rich... where's my title?
JBL looks at him.
JBL: I don't have it, I swear. Some nut came from under the ring and clocked in the back of the head with a clock!
Paul: The Boogeyman?
JBL: No... that nerdy guy that hangs out with that chick!
Paul: Principal Pain? El Unorigino? Test?
JBL: No... the one that had that reality show that almost bankrupted the EWT
Paul: Oh.... alright thanks.
Podanski quickly steals JBL's toilet paper and runs out of the bathroom... looking for Chocula again.
Fade to commercial.
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Post by Virus aka Captain No-Nuts on Nov 17, 2005 20:36:57 GMT -5
(Virus is backstage, talking with Hoss Matthews.)
Hoss: So, Virus, have you talked to Toomi about getting your Steel Cage Ladder match with EN Bunk at Rebirth?
Virus: No, actually, I haven't, Hoss. Thanks for reminding me though. (Virus takes the microphone from Hoss and stares directly into the camera. The camera zooms in.) Toomi, I know you're still back here somewhere. I may not know you very well, but I'm begging you... Give me Bunk. In that Steel Cage Ladder match... AT REBIRTH.
(Zoom back out to reveal Hoss standing in the same spot we left him. Virus turns to him.)
Virus: And as for EN Bunk... well... he had better prepare to be... infected. It may not be at Rebirth, hell, it may not be for years, but we still got a score to settle. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a flight to catch.
(Virus throws the microphone at Hoss's chest and strides off as we fade to another commercial.)
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Post by Gasoline: Gen. Tech Member on Nov 17, 2005 22:18:59 GMT -5
*We come back from a commercial advertising the EWT video game and are ringside for the next match*
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Asbury Park, New Jersey, The Beast From The East, Bam Bam Bigelow!
*Bam Bam walks out and gets a warm reception from fans. Then "Gas Power" hits*
RA: And his opponent, weighing in at 323 lbs., "Big Daddy" Gasoline!
*Gasoline gets a loud pop as he walks out. Before stepping in to the ring, he gives the shades that he's wearing to a young fan at ringside*
The bell rings to start the match. Gas and Bam Bam lock up. Bam Bam gets in a headlock. Gas whips him to the ropes. Bam Bam attempts a shoulder takedown, but Gas doesn't budge. Bam Bam tries again for a shoulder takedown, but Gas still doesn't budge. Bam Bam tries a third time and is met with a back body drop. Gas runs at Bam Bam with a clothesline, and then another. Gas then hits Bam Bam with a flapjack. Bam Bam rolls out of the ring to take a breather. But Gas doesn't let up as he dives through the ropes into Bam Bam! This gets a very loud pop from the crowd.
Fans: HOLY S***! HOLY S***!
Gas gets back up and rolls Bam Bam into the ring, where he hits a pumphandle slam. Gas goes for the cover.
1... 2...
Bam Bam kicks out. Gas takes him to the corner and beats on him with punches and kicks. He whips Bam Bam into the opposite corner. Bam Bam avoids Gas's charge, causing Gas to hit the turnbuckle. Bam Bam capitalizes with a back drop. He then runs to the ropes and hits a splash. He covers Gas.
1... 2...
Gas gets the shoulder up. Bam Bam picks him up and gives him a backbreaker. Next he hits a neckbreaker and goes for the cover.
1... 2...
Gas kicks out. Bam Bam traps Gas in the Boston Crab. Gas fights it and reaches the ropes. After some stomping, Bam Bam picks up Gas and body slams him. He starts climbing to the top rope. He attempts a headbutt, but Gas moves out of the way. The ref starts the 10 count.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Both men are back up. Gas blocks Bam Bam's punch and lands one of his own. He quickly takes control with punches and kicks. After a whip to the ropes, Gas lands a big boot. He counters Bam Bam's charge with a sidewalk slam. Next comes a vertical suplex. After hitting an inverted atomic drop, Gas hits a spinebuster. He signals for the end of the match and the crowd responds. Gas nails the Jackknife Powerbomb and covers Bam Bam.
1... 2...
3! *Bell rings*
RA: Here is your winner, "Big Daddy" Gasoline!
*Gasoline raises his hands in victory and does a little celebrating with fans before heading to the back*
*Fade to commercial*
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Nov 17, 2005 22:31:38 GMT -5
*Fade back from commercial. Gasoline is seen walking backstage. He waves to a few people, including Spaz and Maelstrom. Then all of a sudden, he's attacked from behind by HBH! HBH takes Gas down with a lead pipe and stomps away at him*
HBH: You want me so damn bad at Rebirth? Well you're gonna get your wish! And because I'm such a generous person, I'm going to give you a sneak preview of what you can expect in our match!
*HBH then beats on Gas with the lead pipe. He picks up Gas and pummels him some more. Gas tries to fight back, but HBH hits him with a low blow and then gives him some Sweet Chin Muzak through a window! Satisfied with the results, HBH walks off*
HBH: See ya at Rebirth, chump!
*Gas is lying on on his back on the floor. Blood can be seen flowing from the back of his head*
*Cut to next segment*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Nov 17, 2005 23:01:33 GMT -5
*Toom E dangerously is backstage with Marc Lloyd.*
ML: Mr. Dangerously, it's great to have you back. I see things are slowly but surely going back to normal.
TED: Yes Marc, they are. But I also see me allowing the inmates to run teh asylum was a bad move, as Curly Long decided to place himself in charge. Funny thing about that, though. Curly forgets who signs his paychecks. Each week he was running things, he was still working for me. Just as everybody else. And he also doesn't realize is I still had ALOT of pull backstage. Remember when dorf won the championship & it wasn't in a pay per view match? I booked it. The Ragnals won the tag titles? I booked the match. There's alot of things Curly doesn't realize. Just because I wasn't on tv, doesn't mean I wasn't running things. Afterall, who gave final approval to the Board of Directors? Yours truly...Toom E Dangerously.
ML: Now Mr. Dangerously, I understand you have decided on Curly's match as well as stipulation for Rebirth?
TED: Sure have Marc. Thing is, Curly has been running his mouth far to long. And he has badmouthed my suprises in the past. But thing is, his opponent has been under contract for quite some time. And his opponent sure knows how to beat beat HARDCORE. And his opponent won't stop at nothing. Marc, Curly's opponent is none other then...psychoapeguy. And the stipulation is a match that psychoapeguy has wrestled in before & won....Chairots of Fire. And we all know what happens in that match, right Marc?
Marc: *gulp* You set your opponent on fire?
TED: Yes Marc, you set your opponent on fire to win. So Curly, be prepared. You always wanted to play with the big boys since your debut. Now, not only are you playing with the big boys, but you'll be playing with fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiire.
Marc: Is it true that you ahve set 2 more matches in stone?
TED: Gee, you're a little genius today. I take it you've read the press releases & done your homework. Yes, I have set a match for the Tri-State Championship. Maelstrom kindly asked for it, so I thought I'd give it to him. He will defend the Tri-State Championship against Chance Confidence in the Escalator to Heaven Match. And somebody will ride that escalator to the top to reach the Tri-State Championship. But who?
And since Mr. Trunk was so polite enough to knock on my door, I have decided he will get his wish...but with a catch. You see Trunk, you will have a tag team partner in that match. And that partner will be the man they call Virus. And the 2 of you will take on the team consiting of Mr. Big & EN Bunch in the Scaffold Tables Match. I recomend all 4 of you prepare, because this match is not an easy match. Just ask oceanic. Haa haa haa. Especially since at one point in the match, it will be a 2 on 1 advantage. And Mr. Big, I recomend you save your energy that night to prepare for the match because you will be BANNED from ringside during Curly Long's match.
Now if you'll excuse me Marc...I have a Girl Next Door Championship match to fix up around here.
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Nov 18, 2005 0:26:57 GMT -5
(drumbeat......)
"I'm poor and I'm weird baby! You got no time for me! I'm poor and I'm weird baby! You got no time for me!"
(....and so forth. Out comes thrice time and current Toolbelt champion Ultimo Chocula. He's doing his usual schtick (ie: being a jerk) but this time he's wearing a University of Oregon sweatshirt, beanie, and is blowing into a U of O Duck quacking noise maker. He jumps in the ring and grabs the mic. Oh goodie gum drop.)
UC: "Quack! Quack! Quack! Who's yer duckie?"
Crowd: "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"
UC: "And right back at you! Do you know what this Saturday is? It's the Civil War, beezo! It's that time of year when the University of Oregon Ducks take the Oregon State Beavers to the cleaners! It's the greatest time of year.......behind Christmas, Halloween, my birthday, and Free Burger Thursdays at Sweaty Pete's Chow House. Yes, it's going to be a mighty squash. Those stinking over sized rodents don't have a prayer! Go Ducks!"
Crowd: "OSU! OSU! OSU! OSU! OSU! OSU!"
UC: "You're doing that just to piss me off. So as the current and bestest ever Toolshed champ, I decree that all day Saturday, I will NOT be defending the belt! That means you Pow! Take a hike! I'm watching the game! I'm going to be right there at Autzen Stadium and I can't be bugged by some schmuck who wants a title shot! Calm down, hoppity! I'll beat your stupid butt when I come back Monday! Comprende? Good. Now then, bring out my opponent......um.....(checks out Lillian's cue card) .......what's a Chris Chetti?"
(And out comes Chris Chetti. He hasn't even reached the ring apron when UC catapults himself over the top rope and lays Chetti out with a Cannonball Run. UC scoops Chetti up and rockets him head first into the steel steps. UC steps up onto the ring apron and comes off with a split leg springboard moonsault, landing right across Chetti's chest. Chetti gets thrown into the ring and UC scampers up to the top rope, jumps off and blasts a big led drop across Chetti's neck. UC smirks, and takes out Chetti once and for all with the Sugar Fix. A three count later this one's over. Hmm. That was faster than usual."
Lillian: "Here is your winner.............Ultimo Chocula!"
(UC raises his arm in victory and takes his belt from the ref. Suddenly his music stops, complete with record scratch, and "Bodies Hit The Floor" plays. UC looks up to the ramp and gets ready for Paul's onslaught. Then from behind him out comes Paul from the crowd, his bag of hardcore goodies slung over his shoulder. Paul sneaks up behind UC, who's still looking toward the ramp. Right as it looks as though Paul is going to take UC out, UC springs up and takes Paul down with a Pele Kick! Whaaaaaaaaaa?)
UC: "I could see you on the Toomitron, dummy!"
(UC lays Paul out with a series of stiff kicks to the head. Paul is rolling on the mat in pain. UC gets a bright idea and goes to Paul's bag. He looks for the appropriate weapon to bash Paul with. He reaches into the bag and pulls out....................a pillow. UC looks confused, throws the pillow away, and goes back into the bag and pulls out...........................a sponge. That's no good. He goes back to the bag and keeps pulling out lame objects. A towel, a bag of marshmallows, a stuffed Garfield toy, one of those mittens you use to wash your car. These weapons suck! UC keeps looking in the bag for something to use while Paul collects himself and reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a magic 8 ball. UC settles on using a giant foam #1 finger and turns around. That's when Paul levels him with the 8 ball and it shatters on impact, water spraying everywhere, the little ball inside rolling and landing on "Outlook not so good." Paul scoops up UC and puts him in the Paulerbomb, spinning 1.............2.............3...............4.............5............6...............7...............8 times! Whammo! Paul covers and the ref counts three. Paul jumps up and takes his belt back. He celebrates with the cheering fans and makes his way back to the locker room. As for UC.
UC is wet.
Commercial for some feminine product.
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Post by craigkendo on Nov 18, 2005 7:08:44 GMT -5
*The Pitbulls music hits, and The Pitbulls are out. They are chained together, as is their thing.*
Chimel: The following tornado tag team contest is scheduled for ONE-FALL. Making their way to the ring, Pitbull #1 and Pitbull #2, THE PITBULLS!!!
*The Pitbulls taunt in the ring to a good pop. "Ich Will" hits, and the Connection are out. Most fans don't do anything, some boo. They slowly and methodically make their way to the ring.
Chimel: Aaaaaand their opponents from Newark, New Jersey and Seoul, Korea respectively, being accompanied to the ring by "Lady Spectacular" Holly Vaughn, "The Viper" Tony Chang and Craig Kendo....THE CONNECTION!!!!
*Tony Chang suddenly and spontaneously superkicks a random fan in the audience for no reason before going back to walking slowly to the ring. All three Connection members are in the ring now, and they hold their arms out in prayer.
The Pitbulls suddenly run at the Connection, running them down with the chain to a huge pop!!! Pitbull #1 chains himself to Tony Chang as the bell sounds!
Pitbull #2 attempts to chain himself to Craig Kendo, but Kendo immediately counters with a clothesline to him. He takes #2 to the turnbuckle, and hits a chop to the chest before taking the chain and rolling it up into a ball, throwing it directly into his face!!! #2 holds his face in pain as Kendo picks the chain back up, and wraps it around #2's neck. Kendo then chokes #2 using the chain, eventually making his way to #2's back. He then swiftly hits a reverse DDT!!!
Whilst this is happening, #1 has managed to drag Tony Chang to the outside. He sets him up next to the ropes, and then hits a clothesline to Chang, sending him outside the ropes, hanging by his neck as #1 pulls on the chain!!!
The fans chant "EWT!! EWT!!"
As #1 is doing this, he is unaware of Kendo, who has left #2 alone to recover. Kendo hits a double axe-handle to #1's head, making him release his grip on the chain. Chang falls to the arena floor, but quickly recovers. He jumps to the apron as Kendo holds #1 in a full Nelson. As Kendo indicates to Chang, Chang leaps off in a springboard dropkick to #1 as Kendo keeps the full Nelson applied!!! Kendo then hits a full Nelson drop to #1, and indicates to Holly Vaughn on the outside. Holly looks under the ring, and finds a table. She sets it up on the outside as Kendo nods appreciatively. He motions to Chang, who stops hitting Pitbull #1 with fury punches and picks him up. He holds onto #1 as Craig Kendo goes to the apron, back to the ring. He holds his arms out in prayer as Chang pushes #1 back-first into the waiting Kendo. Kendo catches him by grabbing his wrists, and then he lifts #1 up high to try a crucifix powerbomb through the table, however, #1 REVERSES!!! He kicks Kendo in the back, and although Kendo doesn't fall, he loosens his grip on #1, who makes it to the mat, and hits a few punches to the back of Kendo's head. Chang tries to intervene, but he is taken down with a SPINEBUSTER from the recovered Pitbull #2. #2 then goes over to #1, who is holding Kendo in a front headlock. The Pitbulls then lift up Kendo in a double suplex, but then move forward, sending Kendo crashing down in a front suplex THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!!
The crowd again chant "EWT!! EWT!!"
The Pitbulls turn their attention to Tony Chang, and they call for the double powerbomb!!! Pitbull #2 kicks Chang in the gut as #1 lifts himself up the turnbuckle. #2 picks up Chang and lifts him into #1's waiting arms. #1 is about to throw Chang down, but at the last minute, Chang counters with a hurricanrana! #2 catches Chang with a sleeper lock, but Chang hits a few elbow's to #2's gut. He then leaps up to try an Asai DDT, but Pitbull #1 instinctively pulls on the chain tying him and Chang together, forcing Chang to fly off Pitbull #2 and land ON HIS NECK!!!! Pitbull #1 crawls in for the cover!
1, 2...
CHANG KICKS OUT!!!! The Pitbulls get annoyed at this, and they call for an audience member to throw a chair into the ring. A couple of members throw their chairs, and the Pitbulls catch them. Pitbull #2 hits Chang with the chair as #1 sets up a chair. The two of them then pick up Chang, and set him up for a double suplex, and they hit it, RIGHT ON THE CHAIR!!!
Tony Chang clutches his back in pain as Pitbull #1 goes for the pin.
1, 2...
CHANG KICKS OUT!!!! The Pitbulls, dismayed at this, slap the mat in fury. Pitbull #1 stomps at Chang, and wraps his chain around Chang's neck as #2, aware that Craig Kendo has recovered from being put through a table and is entering the ring, stomps onto Kendo. The kicks don't phase Kendo, however, and he trips #2 by grabbing the leg, giving him enough time to get to his feet. He once again motions to Holly Vaughn to set up a table. As #2 and Kendo are up, Kendo boots #2 in the gut, and lifts him up in a powerbomb position. As Holly Vaughn has set up another table, Kendo throws Pitbull #2 down in a powerbomb outside the ring THROUGH THE TABLE!!!
Kendo focuses his attention on Pitbull #1 now, and #1 keeps choking Chang with his chain. He picks up Chang, and both competitors are standing now. Pitbull #1 taunts Kendo, Kendo simply observes the situation, grinning. Eventually, Chang hits a mule kick to Pitbull #1! This phases pitbull #1, but he keeps the hold applied. Chang again kicks Pitbull #1 where it hurts, and this makes Pitbull #1 go down to one knee, but again he keeps choking Chang. The crowd applauds his resolve. Some yell at him to let go. Chang finishes with another mule kick, sending Pitbull #1 to both knees, and finally losing a bit of grip on the chain, enough for Chang to release the chain from his neck. Whilst Pitbull #1 is still on both knees, crouching in a fetal position, Tony Chang stomps over to #1's side, and lifts his leg up, bringing it down for the VIPERBITE KICK!!!! Chang goes for the pin!
1, 2...
And KENDO throws Chang off!! Chang yells at Kendo what the hell he was thinking, but Kendo merely chuckles, and he picks Pitbull #1 up. He then knees him in the gut, and lifts him up high. Chang and Holly realise what is happening, and both go to their respective positions in the ring, holding their arms out in prayer. Kendo then hits the ENLIGHTENMENT!!!! Kendo then goes for the pin!!!
1, 2, 3!
Winners: The Connection!!!
*Post Match, Pitbull #2 tries to come to the aid of his partner, but he is kneed in the gut by Holly Vaughn. Tony Chang then takes the free chain, wraps it around his fist, then knocks down Pitbull #2. He keeps striking Pitbull #2 until #2 is sufficiently knocked out. Kendo then grabs the microphone.
Kendo: Observe this, Ice Queen!!! THIS is what we may now do to you, and although we do not usually thank non-combatants, we appreciate TOOM E DANGEROUSLY for allowing us to be as BRUTAL as we so desire!!!
*Tony Chang grabs the mic*
Chang: I know everyone here saw what I did to Pitbull #1!!! All of this, I can now inflict on my opponents, and STILL be declared the victor!!! I felt it as I kicked Pitbull #1 where it hurts, and let me tell you now...IT WAS LIKE SQUASHING A GRAPE UNDERNEATH MY FOOT!!!!
*The audience boos Tony Chang for his maliciousness. Kendo again takes the microphone.*
Kendo: Remember, Ice Queen. All of this can now be done through grace of the new owner of EWT. For this, we are grateful. We wish nothing but good health on Mister Dangerously. Our message has been delivered.
*The Connection leave ringside as Pitbull #2 is still out and Pitbull #1 still clutches his broken crotch.*
*Fade to Commercial.*
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Post by *"@-BoMb" R.I.P Deus/Dinobot on Nov 18, 2005 13:47:36 GMT -5
*A-Bomb's music hit the arena and the fans give him a huge pop as A-Bomb and Stevie walk down to the ring.He is wearing ring gear and looks ready to wrestle.
Billy Kidman's music hits and he gets a small pop. He climbs into the ring and the two face off. A-Bomb locks up with Kidman and pushes him down causing him to roll over. Kidman quickly kips up with a dropkick making Bomb stagger. Kidman hits a head scissors on Bomb and springs of the ropes with splash for a pin. A-Bomb rolls over while holding Kidman and Samoan Drops him to the canvas. Bomb picks up Kidman and suplexes him...he pops his hips and hits another suplex....and pops his hips hitting another suplex.*the fans cheer *
A-Bomb slaps his chest and does a familar shake. He climbs onto the top rope and points up towards the heavens.Bomb leaps off the top rope with a frog splash 1-2-3. Stevie climbs into the ring and raises A-Bomb's hand in victory.
*cut to commerical*
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Post by Gasoline: Gen. Tech Member on Nov 18, 2005 15:41:40 GMT -5
*We come back from commercial and are backstage. A note is tacked on to the front of Toom E Dangerously's door*
*Cut to next segment*
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Post by Virus aka Captain No-Nuts on Nov 18, 2005 18:11:13 GMT -5
(Virus steps off the plane at the Arid-zona airport to be met by an EWT interviewer. Virus looks at the interviewer with mild suprise before continuing to walk away.)
Interviewer: Virus! Virus! Can I get a word with you?
(Virus turns around.)
Virus: I guess, but... damn, how'd you get here so fast? I thought I'd have a day or two by myself before the rest of the guys got back...
Interviewer: I... uh... didn't go. Bad immune system, y'see.
Virus: Riiiight. Anyway, what have you got to ask?
Interviewer: Well, I was wondering if you'd heard about Toomi E Dangerously's response to your plea to get your match against EN Bunk at Rebirth?
Virus (suddenly interested): No, I haven't. What'd he say?
Interviewer: Well... it'll be you...
Virus: Right...
Interviewer: ... versus EN Bunk...
Virus: This is starting to sound good...
Interviewer: ... in a Scaffold Tables match.
Virus: Awe-- Wait, WHAT?!
Interviewer: And you'll be teaming up with Marcus Trunk, while Bunk will be teaming up with Mr. Big!
Virus: Y'know, I wouldn't have much of a problem with this if it were a normal tag match, or even a TLC match. But what the hell is he smoking? I weigh 347 pounds. Trunk weighs 270. Big weighs somewhere around 500 if Trunk weighs 270 and there was 800 pounds on the scaffold before me and Bunk got thrown in. EN Bunk is the "lightest" of the group at 220. If I'm doing my math right, that's approximately 1300 pounds on that scaffold. How the hell does Mr. Dangerously expect that to hold?
Interviewer: I...
Virus (interrupting): Don't answer that. You know what? I don't care. I'm just gonna get through that match the best I can, come hell or high water. And when the dust settles, I hope against hope that a career hasn't been cut short because of some stupid fascination with PPV buy-rates.
(Virus walks off screen, mumbling vehemently and shaking his head as we fade out.)
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Nov 18, 2005 22:09:47 GMT -5
*Joe and Mike are backstage in the locker room.*
JOE: Let me get this straight-The PTA have been around for some time, and won the #1 contender's match at the last PPV. But, instead of facing them, we get a team that's only been formed as of last week. And Toomi calls them the best teaming ever? Where the HELL is the logic in that reasoning?!
MIKE: I dunno, either. But we're facing the World champ and the youngest Hall of Famer in EWT history. In a cage match. Plus, not only are our belts on the line, but Dorf's is, too.
JOE:And you don't see a problem with that?
MIKE:Well, yeah, I can. The world title on the line + tag team match=egos getting in the way. And, of course, we know what that would mean.
JOE: Yeah...we gotta make sure that doesn't happen. Right?
*Mike is staring over Joe behind.*
JOE: Mike?
*Joe turns around and sees-*
BOOGY:I'm the Boogey Man! And I'm coming to getcha!
M&J:...
...
RUN!
*Mike & Joe run off as the Boogey Man laughs.*
BM: o/ Feeeeeelings...whoa,whoa,whoooa-oh feeeeeeelings...o/
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Deamon Cohln
Don Corleone
AND THAT'S THE GODDAMN TRUTH!
Posts: 1,962
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Post by Deamon Cohln on Nov 18, 2005 22:46:13 GMT -5
*We return from commercial and see Juventud Guerrera standing in the ring with the Mexicools theme blaring.*
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen. This match is scheduled for on fall. Now in the ring Juventud Guerrera!
*ICP-Halls of Illusion hits and out come Deamon Cohln. He jumps in the air and runs into the ring and begins the match quick.*
MATCH: Deamon runs in and right off spearing Juventud to the ground and starts to punch him while he is still on the floor. He stands up runs to the ropes bounces and lands a elbow to the chest of Juventud. Deamon seems obviously a little more pissed off then normal. Juventud manages to get up to his feet, when out of no where Deamon flies at him slamming him to the corner. He proceeds to backhand Juventud about three times. He then takes him and places him onto the top turnbuckle. He grabs him turns him over and suplexs him to the ground. Deamon then climbs to the top himself and preps himself for a move. He balances and jumps turning himself over to hit the moonsault. Deamon, not content with the damage he has already done picks Juventud up and places his head under his arm. He runs to the turnbuckle and hits the Deamon Doom DDT. He turns over and lifts Juventuds leg for the pin.
1... 2... 3! The bells rings.
*Deamons music hits and he lets the ref raise his hand. All of a sudden Slipknot's-Wait and Bleed hits and out walks Jacola Cohln.*
Jacola: Deamon! Hi Bro! Looks like your done here so might as well inform you. We have our match at Rebirth! It's going to be me and you ONE ON ONE. No one to come help you! Just your scrawny ass verses me.
Deamon: WOAH! What about the whole thing with me choosing what match it will be. Don't you go screwing me over again!
Jacola: TOO LATE BRO! I've already decided. You didn't give me a match type so I just went ahead and chose one for you. You and me in a(dramatic pause) FIRST BLOOD MATCH! See you at Rebirth Deamon.
*Jacola's music hits and he leaves. Deamon is still standing in the ring looking visibly pissed. The camera fades to a commercial.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Nov 18, 2005 23:32:56 GMT -5
*Toom E dangerously is walking backstage as he bumps into HeartBreak Hitman Brett Micheals.*
Brett, so good to see you. Look, I've been thinking about something. And it involves you. As well as Gasoline.
Thing is Brett, the fans...they loved the 2 of you together. And now...well, you're broken up. I can't have that in my company. And that's why I have decided that the 2 of you will reunite next week in the EWT for one more match.
No, no, no Brett...don't thank me. Thank the fans. They wanted this. They sent me e-mails after e-mails after e-mails. And you know me. I can't refuse the fans. They give me what I want...money. Lots & lots of money.
Brett: You've got to be kidding me. Me & him, together?
TED: Don't worry Brett. Because at Rebirth, you & Gasoline will step into that ring together, as well. And I have decided that the 2 of you will square off in a tag team encounter against The Nyrds.
Thing is, I know you want him one on one. And he wants you one on one. BUT, you 2 bring in the fans & the 2 of you bring in the money. Give it time Brett, give it time. Eventually, I will book the match. But, as for now...I need a credible team to take on the Nyrds. They're rebuilding my computer so I promised them a match. No hard feelings?
*Dangerously walks away as HBH gives stares angrily off the screen, watching dangerously leave. dangerously has a big smile on his face.*
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Nov 19, 2005 0:30:52 GMT -5
Sum Guy: Hi. I'm Sum Guy, and I hate sushi. Joining me now is "Big Daddy" Gasoline. Gas, we've just heard that instead of facing Bret Michaels at Rebirth, you'll be TEAMING with him against The Nyrds. What are your thoughts on that?
Gas: Well to be honest with you Sum Guy--
*HBH bursts into the picture, furious*
HBH: What the hell was that?
Gas: What the hell was what?
HBH: Don't play dumb with me. You know damn well what I'm talking about. You and me teaming up at Rebirth against The Nyrds. Don't try to deny it, I know you're behind this.
Gas: Hey, I'm just as as shocked about this as you are.
HBH: Don't give me that crap. You talked with Toom E and set this up, didn't ya? Come on, out with it!
Gas: *chuckles* Bret, Bret, Bret, why would I ask for a tag team match with you of all people when I've been clamoring for a one-on-one match with you, especially after I had to get 10 stitches in the back of my head because of you giving me that Sweet Chin Muzak through a window? You're lucky that I'm not beating the s*** out of you right now. Now, we can either continue on with this bickering, or we can put our differences aside and give the fans one more great match together.
HBH: *thinking about it*
Gas: OK, fine. But you had better pull your weight in this match, because I'm not carrying you like I did for the past 5 years. And if you so much as get in my way, you WILL feel some Sweet Chin Muzak.
Gas: Believe me Bret, I can more than hold my own. I never needed you to carry me then and I certainly don't need you to now. And if you decide to get in MY way, expect a Gas-powered ass-beating.
*Both men walk their separate ways*
SG: Whoa. Until next time, I'm Sum Guy, and...I love my job!
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Post by Oceanic on Nov 19, 2005 1:34:26 GMT -5
Sum Guy: "Hi! I'm Sum Guy and I'm popular tonight! I'm here with Oceanic, one of four women who may be competing in the Dungeon Submission match at Rebirth if it should get approved. What do you feel are your chances if that match should happen?"
Oceanic: "Considering that half of my move set is submission moves, pretty good."
Sum Guy: "Oh yeah. Right. I forgot about that."
Oceanic: "No problem."
Sum Guy: "So how do you feel you measure up to your opponents, Carla for instance."
Oceanic: "Carla's cool. She managed to bring herself up from being just another pretty face to one of the premier female athletes in not just the EWT, but in all of wrestling. That's impressive. I have a lot of respect for Carla but if she's between me and my shot at the title I'm going at her with everything I have. And I know she would do the same."
Sum Guy: "Neat."
Oceanic: "In a manner of speaking."
Sum Guy: "So what about Mistress Mia? She looked pretty impressive in her return."
Oceanic: "If buying a new pair of boots is impressive then yes I agree. But Mia is forgetting one thing. I've got her beat any way she wants to come at me. So she lifted some weights. Fine. I'll just use my agility and quickness to take her down then use a leverage hold to pin her in place. Done and done. Mia may have been a former champion, yes, but that was before I showed up."
Sum Guy: "That's two, that leaves........the other one."
Oceanic: "Linda Ragnal."
Sum Guy: "Yeah! Her! What about Linda?"
Oceanic: "Linda has a big problem. She holds something that she has not earned and something I want. The Girl Next Door title. We've met once before and we pushed each other to the limit before that white trash heifer Clitton showed up. But that was before I had the one thing I needed to beat her. Motivation. Linda has a bullseye on her the size of Puerto Rico now. So if Linda wants to play tough, I'll get tough. In fact, I will put her in These Arms Are Snakes exclusively, because if I'm going to win the title, I want to win it off her."
Sum Guy: "Wow! You heard it here first! Oceanic will target Linda exclusively for the win! That's going to be one big wing ding! I'm Sum Guy and I wear Magilla Gorilla underwear!"
Sum Guy: "Are we off the air? Yeah? Good. So, Oceanic. How was the interview?"
Oceanic: "You were good. You're getting better at this all the time."
Sum Guy: "Really? What about when I screwed up at the beginning?"
Oceanic: "Don't worry about it. You recovered well. Nobody will remember that. You did fine."
Sum Guy: "Gee. Thanks. You sure are nice."
Oceanic: "I try to be."
Sum Guy: "So.....um......will you go out with me?"
Oceanic: "..................................no. Sorry."
Sum Guy: "Nuts."
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Post by girlnextdoor on Nov 19, 2005 9:36:00 GMT -5
*oceanic is leaving the interview area when she hears somebody whisper her name.*
oceanic. oh oceanic. Do you remember? Do you remember? Do you remember what you did to me?
Neither do I, because it wasn't you. It wasn't you.
*The voice gets louder as Mystery walks out of the darkness.*
oceanic, why does Linda fear me? Why won't she let me into reindeer games with all you other reindeers? What did I do? What did I do?
Is it how I look? Is it my mask? Why? WHY??
I told her she is not the one who hurt me years ago. But now...now she hurts my feelings. She doesn't like me.
Do you like my oceanic? Would you hurt me like she did? Are you my friend?
Would you betray me? Just like my friend did years ago. Years ago, she was embarrased of me.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
All I want to do is hurt her friends, that's all. Is that so wrong?
You would let me in the match, wouldn't you? WOULDN'T YOU?
I have the spirit for the match. I have the knowledge. I been training, saying my prayers, eating my vitamins. It works, it really does work.
Look at me....LOOK AT ME!!!!
All I wanna do is get that belt. I wanna....I wanna dance.
Look into my eyes oceanic. Do you see it? Do you see it within me? Do you know what it is? Do you know?
It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight Risin' up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger
Face to face, out in the heat Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry They stack the odds 'til we take to the street For we kill with the skill to survive
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Post by Virus aka Captain No-Nuts on Nov 19, 2005 13:03:38 GMT -5
(Dean Malenko's theme music hits as he walks out from under the CrapTron with an EG armband on. The crowd pops for the renewed mention of Eddie Guerrero.)
Lillian: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, weighing in at 212 pounds, he is the Man of a Thousand Holds, DEAN... MALENKO!
(Malenko makes his way into the ring and points up into the air as his theme music fades out. A slight pause and then Heaven's a Lie begins playing as Virus walks out in his normal ring attire and an EG armband of his own to a slightly louder pop.)
Lillian: And his opponent, weighing in at 347 pounds, VIRUS!
(Virus climbs over the ropes in his usual fashion and then offers a pre-match handshake, which Malenko takes. The men begin circling each other as the referee calls for the bell.)
DING DING DING!
Malenko wastes no time in charging in for a headlock. He only has it on for two or three seconds before Virus pushes him off into the ropes. Virus hits a clothesline on Malenko, who falls to the mat but then gets right back up and the circling continues. Malenko charges in for another headlock, but Virus reverses again into a suplex-like manuever. Malenko, being lighter, is the first to his feet, and takes advantage by peppering Virus with a few boots and punches.
Virus returns to his feet, and Malenko hits a knife-edge chop, staggering the big man slightly. Malenko hits another, and another, and another, and Virus begins clutching at his no doubt burning chest. One more chop, and then Virus finally responds with a knife-edge of his own, sending Malenko to the mat. Malenko gets up a little slower than usual, but still quicker than Virus can ever manage. Virus is still trying to lessen the numb feeling in his chest, so Malenko bounces off the ropes and jumps onto Virus's back in a sleeper hold!
Virus flails his arms around wildly, trying to club Malenko off his back, but can't quite get the job done as his energy begins to wane. In a last ditch effort, Virus falls over backwards, squashing Malenko between him and the mat! Malenko is still holding on to the hold, but both his shoulders are down, so the referee goes to count the pin...
1!..2!..Malenko realizes the mistake and gets one shoulder up onto the mat. Meanwhile, Virus's struggling has begun slowing down considerably, and the big man's body begins to slacken. The referee starts checking to see if Virus is still conscious by raising his arm up and dropping it to the mat.
One time!
Two times!
Three... NO! Virus barely manages to lift his arm up, and begins to shake to get out of the hold. The crowd gets behind him, and soon enough Virus lands an elbow to Malenko's stomach. And another... and another... and another... Virus is back to one knee now, but Malenko's still got a death grip on the hold! Virus hits one last elbow and Malenko finally relents. Virus returns to both feet and whips Malenko into the ropes... Virus lifts up a leg for the big boot... but Malenko ducks under the leg of Virus, bounces off the opposite rope, and hits a dropkick to Virus's left knee!
Virus staggers slightly, and Malenko bounces off the ropes AGAIN and hits another dropkick to the same knee! Virus turns away from Malenko, obviously hobbling on the knee now, and Malenko bounces off the ropes one final time for a chopblock to the left knee. Virus falls to the mat, and Malenko drags Virus to the middle of the ring before locking in the FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK!
Virus sits bolt upright in pain, and Malenko keeps the pressure up on the hold. Virus goes to punch Malenko, but Malenko dodges and Virus falls back to the mat in pain. Both his shoulders are down, so the referee begins to count the pinfall...
1!...2!...Virus sits up again, and after a second of enduring more pain, boxes Malenko's ears. Malenko looks a little dazed, but still has the hold cinched in, so Virus boxes Malenko's ears again, and Malenko loosens up enough so Virus can unentangle himself from the hold. Both men slowly return to their feet, Virus favoring his left knee, and Malenko bounces off the ropes in a cross-body. Virus catches him, however, and quickly executes a fall-away slam. Virus, hurt knee and all, returns to his feet before Malenko, and waits for the Man of a Thousand Holds to stand as well. Malenko finally does, and Virus explodes off the ropes in a monsterous clothesline! Virus's knee gives way, and he falls to the mat, covering Malenko.
1!...2!...3... NO! Malenko barely gets a shoulder up. Virus rolls over, in shock that the huge fall-away slam and clothesline didn't seal the deal. Malenko staggers over to the ropes, waiting for Virus to stand up now, and then charges for what looks like a Leg Lariat. Virus will have none of that, however, and nails Malenko with a size 16W boot to the sternum. Virus picks up Malenko from the mat, and sets up for the Infection to a pop, as the crowd has gotten into the match just in time to see it's probable end. Virus lifts Malenko up into the stalling brainbuster position... and then comes down thunderously into the sitdown powerbomb pin! The referee makes the count, along with the crowd...
1!
2!
... 3!
DING DING DING!
(Virus gets up rather slowly, still favoring the left knee slightly as the ref raises his hand.)
Lillian: Here is your winner, by pinfall... VIRUS!
(Heaven's a Lie begins to play as Virus celebrates with the fans before beginning to limp backstage slowly.)
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