We Couldn't Be Arsed with a Name

[dorf]

BK: I am going to send most posts at varied times throughout the night...so just be patient. I am typing backstage scenes before and after each match (for the most part). Please have patience, kick back and relax.

*EWT Extreme Heat begins*
Oceanic is already in the ring getting ready for the match when the "Oops, I Did It Again" plays over the arena. Purple and Red strobe lights blink over the entry way and out comes the newest diva on the EWT roster. The announcer does the introduction.

"Ladies and gentleman! Making her EWT debut! From San Diego, California! Weighing in at 136lbs! Katy Kross!"

Katy walks out wearing sparkly pants with a matching top, a fur coat, and way too much make up. She poses at the entrance way as fireworks go off behind her. She gets into the ring and removes her coat revealing two bogus looking boobs. Oceanic rolls her eyes.

The bell rings and the two ladies lock up. Katy gets the upper hand and goes for a hip toss but slips and lands on her butt. Oceanic backs off and claps sarcastically at Katy. Katy gets back up and they tie up again. Katy goes for a suplex but can't quite get the move off. Oceanic knees Katy in the stomach and Katy doubles over. Oceanic measures Katy and levels her across the face with a Thai elbow strike. Oceanic picks Katy up and sends her into the ropes. Katy ducks under a clothesline and goes for a cross body but shorts her jump by a foot. Katy crashes right in front of Oceanic's feet. Oceanic pounces on Katy and elbows Katy across the face repeatedly. Oceanic gets up and Lionsaults Katy, jumps up, and double leg drops Katy in the stomach. Oceanic picks Katy up and props her on the top turnbuckle. She picks Katy up again and levels her with the Hawaiian Muscle Buster dead center in the ring and locks on These Arms Are Snakes. Katy taps out immediately.

The bell rings and the referee raises Oceanic's arm. Oceanic gives Katy a sideways glance and is about to exit the ring when suddenly Mistress Mia appears out of the crowd and tackles Oceanic. Mia punches Oceanic's head and slams it down on the canvas. Mia picks Oceanic up and attempts a Widow's Peak, but Oceanic reverses and calf kicks Mia in the back of the head. Oceanic jumps on Mia and tries to apply These Arms Are Snakes but Mia pokes her in the eyes. Both women stagger up and suddenly charge at one another forming a ball with flying fists and hair. Some referees come out from the back to try and separate the two but they're having problems. In spite of the referees both women are getting in some wicked shots. Finally they are separated and dragged to opposite sides of the ring. The peace is short lived when Mia elbows her captors in the crotch and Oceanic hip tosses her way out of their grip and the two charge again. The collision is so loud the audience gasps. Oceanic and Mia are decking each other with the stiffest shots when more referees come out to restore order. Finally, they are separated for good this time as five referees drag Mia out of the ring and up the idea. Mia is screaming at Oceanic calling her every name in the book. Oceanic stands in the ring, restrained by refs as well, staring a hole through Mia. The crowd is chanting for a match right now between the two but they won't get it.

*Camera focuses on outside to see what its like in Arid-zona in the late afternoon. After a heavenly 10 second view, the camera focuses back into the ring for our next EWT Extreme Heat.*
Virus vs. EN Bunk
(Heaven's a Lie hits as Virus makes his way out to the ring. COntrary to his match versus Vampiro, he is walking slowly, purposefully to the ring.)

Lillian: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first, weighing in at 350 pounds, VIRUS!

(Virus climbs up onto the apron, then goes to get into the ring. He stops while he's straddling the top rope, looks around, and then smiles as he drops back down to the floor and checks under the ring, presumably for weapons. The crowd pops as he throws several steel chairs, a kendo stick, and a garbage can into the ring.)

(Getting Away With Murder hits and EN Bunk begins to walk down to the ring.)

Lillian: And his opponent, from Chicago, Illinois and weighing in at 220 pounds, EN BUNK!

(EN Bunk enters the ring and gets right into Virus's face for a staredown as his theme fades away. The referee looks on nervously for a second before calling for the opening bell.)

DING DING DING!

The staring continues for a few seconds as both men try to freak their opponent out. Out of the blue, EN Bunk scores a thunderous right, and the fighting begins with a flurry of punches. Virus finally gets up a hand to block and returns the favor with a flurry of his own. EN Bunk doesn't block, however, and Virus takes advantage of this to knee him in the abdomen. While Bunk regains his breath, virus turns around to get one of the steel chairs he threw into the ring earlier.

EN Bunk, however, recovers quicker then Virus anticipated, and picks up a chair of his own. Virus turns around, chair raised, only to be met by a chair shot from EN Bunk. Virus doubles over, dropping his chair, and Bunk capitalizes by DDTing Virus onto it. Bunk then rolls out of the ring, checking under the apron much like Virus did before the match. Smiling, Bunk takes his time in pulling out a table and lifting it onto the apron before shoving it into the ring.

Virus has not been idle in this time, inching over to the kendo stick and hiding it so EN Bunk would not see what he had done. It pays off, as EN Bunk turns his back to Virus to set up the table. Virus sits up and swings the Kendo stick mightily, striking Bunk in the legs. Virus stands up as Bunk howls in pain, then continues to wail on the Third Street Warrior with the kendo stick. EN falls to one knee, and Virus throws the stick down to the mat. Virus grabs EN Bunk much like he grabbed Vampiro in his previous match, and hits the same move, his Infection, through the table, clearly going for the quick finish now that he knows his enemy's hardcore prowess.

1! 2! Kickout! EN Bunk kicks Virus in the face and quickly gets back to his feet, holding his no doubt bruised back. He recovers, however, and grabs the discarded kendo stick for a little payback. He stands behind the slowly-standing Virus, getting into a stance not unlike Barry Bonds, and then swings with all his might as Virus gets to his feet and turns around. The sickening sound of kendo stick meeting face echoes through the arena, and Virus falls flat again. The referee gets between the two men to check on Virus's condition. Virus has been busted wide open.

Referee: Can you hear me, Virus?

Virus nods.

Referee: You want to stop the match?

Virus shakes his head painfully.

Referee: Then you've got until the count of ten to get up.

The referee begins to count as EN Bunk drops the stick and again goes to the ropes.

1... 2... 3... 4... Bunk has gotten another table and slides it into the ring.

5... Virus is on one knee. Bunk has his back to him again, setting the table up by the turnbuckle.

6... Virus is up, and the count stops. Bunk is having trouble with the table, and does not notice the count has stopped. Virus picks up one of the steel chairs and slams it down onto the mat, obviously running on adrenaline and waiting for his own chance at busting open EN Bunk. Bunk turns around at the sudden sound, and is met by a steel chair slamming into his face. Bunk falls to the mat, busted wide open much like Virus is, and Virus stumbles and falls himself.

The referee gets to 8 before Bunk manages to get up. With a sinister smile, he drags Virus to the table and somehow manages to get the 350-lb man onto it. Bunk then climbs the turnbuckles, and with a look at the crowd, jumps off in a flying corkscrew crossbody. It's a direct hit, and Bunk is on top of Virus and the wrecked table. The referee goes down and begins to count the pin.

1! 2! 3... NO!!!! Virus just barely gets a shoulder up, and the crowd pops as EN Bunk gets up furiously. EN Bunk drags Virus over to the turnbuckle again and begins to climb, going for the Coca-Cola Cliff Drop. The crowd is buzzing, as they know that the end is near here, no matter what happens.

Virus, sensing this, throws a wild punch and hits EN Bunk in the face. EN recovers and throws a punch of his own, but finally Virus chops EN Bunk's legs out from under him, leaving the bloodied man in a precarious situation on the top turnbuckle. Virus then slowly climbs up to the second turnbuckle and grabs EN Bunk's head. And then with a slow backwards fall, EN Bunk and Virus are airborne in a superplex.

The ring shakes and collapses under the weight! The referee is stunned and takes a few seconds to return to his feet, but neither man has stirred. A "holy [excrement]" chant has started in the audience.

1...2...3...4...5...6... only slight movement from the battered competitors.

7... Virus rolls over onto his stomach and feebly attempts to rise to one knee. He fails, though, and the referee continues the count.

8... Now it's EN Bunk's turn. He looks like he's about to get up, but as he gets to one knee, something Virus couldn't accomplish, he falls over onto his side, holding his ribs.

9... Both men are still trying to get up, trying to get their arms and legs under them again.

10!!!!! The ref calls for the bell.

Lillian: As a result of neither man being able to answer the referee's 10 count, this match has been declared a NO CONTEST!

(The referee shakes Virus and EN Bunk, trying to get a response out of them. When they don't stir, he motions to the back. EMTs rush to the ring as the audience begins to chant "THAT WAS AWESOME!".)

*EWT Extreme Heat ends with the EMTs carrying both competitors to cheers as both signaled their 'thumbs up.' Screen fades to set-up with ‘We Couldn’t Be Arsed with a Name.’*

[dorf]

*EWT We Couldn’t Be Arsed with a Name is finally set-up as the PPV is now officially beginning with pyro that descends out of nowhere and hitting the stage area near the CrapTron. In the background, plays the EWT HeatExtremeImpact song, which is sung by The Union Overground. The audience cheers after the theme song was over to show that they are ready for tonight’s event. We are ready for our first official match into the PPV match as the lights turn bright and Finkel has the mic.*

Finkel: The following contest is match No. 3 in the best of 5 series to decide the EWT OX Division Championship. The series currently stands at 1-1.

*Party Starter hits & Spaz appears. He heads to the ring getting a great reaction & high fiving fans as he goes.*

Finkel: Introducing the challenger. From Sydney, Australia, Weighing in at 216 lbs he is the man called Spaz!!

*Remedy hits & the crowd boo. Eddie Omega makes his way to the ring.*

RA: And his opponent. From Washington D.C, weighing in at 260 lbs he is the EWT OX Division Champion Eddie Omega.

*The ref keeps the two apart as this rivalry is growing in intensity. He signals for the bell & we are underway. Eddie waists no time he slaps Spaz across the face. This angers Spaz & he clotheslines Eddie down. Eddie pops up & both men stand nose to nose. Eddie slaps Spaz & Spaz slaps back. They trade slaps until both men’s faces start to turn red. Spaz grabs Eddie & hits a Snap Suplex. Eddie gets to his feet & whips Spaz hard into the corner he heads over & whips Spaz again across to the other corner. He runs at Spaz & nails him with a clothesline in the corner. Spaz drops to the mat & Eddie is quick to apply a Camel Clutch to Spaz! He is using his size advantage to apply great pressure to Spaz’s head. After about 5 seconds Spaz is able to get his foot up on the ropes & Eddie is forced to break the hold. Spaz is slow to rise & is holding his head. Eddie charges but Spaz Drop Toe Holds Eddie face first into the middle Turnbuckle. Spaz locks his hands around Eddie’s waist & hits a big release German Suplex which sends Eddie across the ring & he lands awkwardly on his head. Spaz goes for a cover.*

1
2
NO!

*Eddie is able to power out of the cover. Both men rise & Eddie is holding his head. Spaz tries to capitalise looking for a Down Under DDT but Eddie blocks & switches up with a neck breaker on Spaz. Eddie poses for the crowd confidently as Spaz is slowly getting to his feet. Eddie grabs Spaz & whips him into the ropes & as he bounces back he clothesline Spaz down to the mat. Eddie goes for a cover.*

1
2
KICKOUT!!

*It takes more then that to beat Spaz. He is up & on the offensive. Chopping Eddie’s chest hard Spaz hits a snap suplex & then heads to the corner. He climbs the TB but Eddie is up he climbs as well & the two trade punches Eddie grabs Spaz & hits the Omega Psi Slamma. The impact is huge & both men are down Eddie rolls over for a cover.*

1
2
ROPEBREAK!!

*Spaz manages to get his foot on the bottom rope. Eddie can’t believe it & starts arguing with the ref. He is getting right up in the ref’s face & doesn’t see Spaz behind him. Spaz locks his hands around the waist of Eddie & hits a German Suplex & he rises for another Eddie fights out of it & tries to hit one on Spaz. Spaz fights back & reverses it. He hits a second, followed by a third & a fourth bridged into a cover.*

1
2
NO!!

*Eddie fights his way out of the cover. Both men are slow to get up & the crowd is really getting behind Spaz now. They are chanting Believe The Hype!! This frustrates Eddie & he turns to admonish them & Spaz Dropkicks him in the back of the head & out of the ring. Spaz slides out after him & the two trade punches. Eddie then hits a neckbreaker on Spaz . He poses for the crowd, who boo him loudly. He then pulls Spaz up by his hair. Spaz fights out of it & hits a Down Under DDT on Eddie. Spaz lifts up Eddie’s lifeless body & places him on the Hebrew announce table. Spaz goes to the nearest TB & starts to climb. He doesn’t see that Eddie was playing possum & is waiting for him. When Spaz gets to the top Eddie knocks his feet off the ropes & climbs up. The two trade punches but Eddie gets the Upper Hand & hits The Omega Psi Slamma onto the arena floor! The ref starts the count.*

1
2
3
4
5

*Eddie is up & he rolls back into the ring. Spaz is still down & looks like he is out.*

6
7
8
9

*Somehow Spaz is able to get back in the ring before the ref counts to ten. Eddie can’t believe it. Spaz has to use the ropes to pull himself up. Eddie charges, sensing the end may be near but Spaz isn’t ready to quit he levels Eddie with a clothesline. The crowd is really trying to lift Spaz as he grabs Eddie’s legs & locks on The Sydney Cloverleaf! Eddie is screaming in pain Spaz is yelling for him to tap out but Eddie somehow reaches out & grabs the bottom rope. Spaz pulls him away from the ropes but Eddie kicks Spaz away. Spaz hits the ref & the ref is out. Eddie goes out & gets a chair. He swings it at Spaz but Spaz ducks it. Eddie catches him in the back of the head with a second swing & Spaz is down & bleeding from the back of the head. Eddie goes for the cover & would have got the three but the ref is still down. He gets up & looks for the ref. He rolls a still out ref back into the ring & climbs back in. He doesn’t see Spaz getting to his feet behind him. He turns & is kicked in the gut. Spaz then lifts Eddie up & nails The Shockwave onto the chair! Spaz revives the ref & goes for the cover.*

1……
2…...
3!

*The slow count doesn’t matter as Spaz’s music hits & the ref raises his hand in triumph.*

RA: Here is your winner & now leading 2-1 in this best of five series Spaz!!

*Spaz makes his way up the ramp as EMT’s come down to check on Eddie condition.*

*Post-Match: The camera is viewed outside the EWT arena, live in Arid-zona, the home city of Toomi Bischoff where the rumor he might return tonight is possible. There is nothing suspicious out yet as the sun out in Arid-zona still has not set. Camera fades to Hoss Matthews.*

[dorf]

Hoss: I am here next to…our #1 contender, Moxie. What are your chances to beat Dorf tonight, Moxie?

Moxie: *laughs* Hoss Mathews…my chances tonight are very good. You see, Dorf is not a worthy competitor. His ring skills are very good, as he has changed the history of the Ox Division, but I, Moxie has changed EWT forever. Who the f*** is the Hall of Famer? ME, that’s who. Using my experience in changing EWT the way it is…I can see a good fight, but I will come on top tonight.

Hoss: You know this is for the EWT World Heavyweight Championship? This is a different battle than say that outrageous Ox Division match we just saw, or even your Tri-State battles back in the day. You have to use more than your technical skill to get over…you know that, right?

Moxie: Of course. This battle will be tough, as this is a BIG step from those minor championship days. Tonight, Moxie will become the next EWT World Heavyweight Champion and Dorf will have no chance on retaining a belt he won off a fierce competitor only 3 weeks ago.

Hoss: It was nice talking to you Moxie, thank you for your insight.

Moxie: No problem, Hoss. *turns around and immediately snaps around at Hoss Mathews with a viscious Clothesline, knocking Mathews down. Moxie then grabs Mathews’ left leg and performs a Texas Cloverleaf/Boston Crab variation as Mathews screams in pain.*

Moxie: HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT DORF?! THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL DO TONIGHT! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! *Mathews is tapping, while the officials finally come out to make Moxie put Mathews out of the Texas Cloverleaf. Camera focuses back to the ring with the bell sounding for the next match.*

*”Ich Will” plays, and The Connection come out, slowly and deliberately.*

Tony Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one-fall! Introducing first, accompanied by fellow Connection members Craig Kendo and “The Viper” Tony Chang…from Winnipeg, Mantioba, Canada…”Lady Spectacular”, HOLLY VAUGHN!

*The crowd boos The Connection as they walk to the ring. Tony Chang suddenly kicks the guardrail forcefully, and a group of fans in that area shut up. The Connection enter the ring, and all three hold their arms out in prayer in respective corners.*

*”Senzafine” hits, and the Ice Queen, accompanied as always by Ms White, is out. She raises her arms, and an impressive display of blue flames shoot from either side of her.*

Tony Chimel: Aaaaand her opponent, to be accompanied to the ring by Miss White…from Juno, Alaska…,The cold, the deadly, The Ice Queen, CHRYSTA!!!!!

*Chrysta gets into the ring, and Miss White follows. All five atheletes are in the ring. Chrysta takes the microphone.*

Chrysta: Connection, I assure you. I will show no mercy in the ring tonight. Simply because I might require your help against those poor doomed Ragnals does not mean I will take it easy on your protégé. I will prove myself, and if that means I have to beat a fighter ALMOST as cold as I, so be it. You want elite? I shall show it to you, tenfold.

*Kendo takes the microphone.*

Kendo: You sound confident, Ice Queen. Your abilities may well back up your words. But you MUST pass the Ultimate Test if you are to ever align yourself with us. Tonight…we will see whether or not you are truly “elite”. Our message will be delivered without any…flawed…members present.

*Tony Chang smirks at this, and tries to punk out Chrysta, jumping out at her. However, although Miss White shrieks at this, Chrysta doesn’t move, flinch or even blink. Chang, frustrated with this, retreats back, cursing. Craig Kendo and Tony Chang then exit the ring, leaving Holly Vaughn to stare across at Chrysta. Miss White leaves the ring, and the bell rings, making this match officially underway. Chrysta and Holly circle each other, and the two tie-up. Chrysta wins the tie-up, and lifts up Holly for a suplex. Holly, however, lands on her feet, and grabs Chrysta’s arms, pulling her in for a backslide. Chrysta counters this by flipping to her feet, and hitting a dropkick to Holly’s face. Chrysta tries a pin, but Holly kicks out immediately, wrapping her legs around Chrysta’s neck and trying for a headscissor take-down. Holly tries to move Chrysta, but Chrysta won’t budge, and she falls down onto Holly with an elbow, Holly releasing her grip.

Chrysta applies a headlock to Holly, prompting Holly to get to her feet, and hit a backdrop. Chrysta still applies the hold, rolling Holly onto her front to keep the hold intact! Holly, fighting on calmly, lifts herself up again, and hits a few elbows to Chrysta. Chrysta eventually loosens her grip, and this gives Holly the opportunity to run to the ropes, bouncing off at Chrysta for crossbody. Chrysta counters by catching the crossbody, and performing a Gunn Slinger!

Chrysta gives an oh-so-cold glance at Holly, before unexpectedly running towards the ropes, and bouncing off for a cartwheeling moonsault, which Holly counters by putting her knees up. Chrysta is momentarily stunned, which gives Holly the chance to handspring up to her feet! Holly calmly observes as Chrysta recovers, leaning on the ropes. Chrysta turns to face Holly, and Holly leaps up at Chrysta, hitting a tornado DDT! Holly goes for the pin!

1,
2…

Kick out by Chrysta! Holly tilts her head to one side, and she casually brushes her hair back. Holly picks Chrysta up by the hair, and pulls off an Irish whip, sending Chrysta to the turnbuckle. Holly charges at Chrysta, and attempts a Stinger Splash! Chrysta counters by getting out of the way, making Holly hit the turnbuckle. Chrysta then comes off the ropes with a bulldog onto Holly! Chrysta goes for the pin!

1,
2…

Kickout by Holly! Chrysta shrugs at this, emotionless, and lifts Holly up by the hair, picking her up for a powerslam. Chrysta then drags Holly’s body to the turnbuckle area before climbing the turnbuckle, ready for the Falling Icicle! At this point, Tony Chang, annoyed at this, climbs the apron in an attempt to throw off Chrysta. He is quickly stopped by Craig Kendo, who grabs him by the throat, and yells at him, proclaiming “THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE MATCH!!!” Tony Chang apologises profusely, before sheepishly getting down from the apron, back to his place in the outside of the ring. Chrysta is only momentarily distracted, but it is enough, as Holly is onto her feet, running up to the turnbuckle, and doing a handstand on it, kicking Chrysta right in the face! Chrysta sways, but doesn’t fall from the turnbuckle, hanging on. She pushes away Holly’s feet, sending Holly back, but Holly lands on her feet, and she runs up the ropes next to the turnbuckle, hitting an enziguri onto the back of Chrysta’s head!!! Despite this, Chrysta hangs on at the top of the turnbuckle, encouraged by Miss White. Holly, still calm at this, tilts her head to one side at Chrysta, before suddenly leaping high into the air, hitting a frankensteiner onto Chrysta, finally causing her to fly off!!

The crowd chants “Holy ****! Holy ****!”

Holly, on her knees, holds her arms out in prayer as Tony Chang and Craig Kendo do the same on the outside. Holly then gets up, and observes Chrysta, downed. She lightly kicks Chrysta, and then takes hold of her wrist. She drags it over to the rope, and traps it between middle and bottom rope, reminiscent of when she snapped Joey Mercury’s leg!!!! Chrysta tries, calmly as she can, to free her arm as Miss White assists, seriously fretting at the possible outcome. Holly then slowly and deliberately climbs the nearest turnbuckle, at Chrysta’s head, and leaps off with a leg drop onto Chrysta’s….NO!!! Chrysta flips herself backwards, arm still trapped between the ropes, and hits Holly with both feet in the face! Miss White, relieved at this, manages to free Chrysta’s arm. Chrysta brushes her arm to restore the blood flow, and then slowly walks over to Holly. Holly instinctively captures Chrysta, and pulls her in for a small package!

1,
2…

Chrysta rolls Holly over, and hooks the leg!

1,
2..

Holly kicks out, sending Chrysta to the ropes. Chrysta bounces back, and Holly hits a monkey flip! Chrysta lands on her feet! Chrysta continues the momentum, and bounces off the opposite ropes, running back at Holly, who tries to leapfrog the attack. Chrysta ducks under, but stops just after she stops running through Holly’s legs. When Holly lands on her feet, back still to Chrysta, Chrysta locks in the FROSTBITE!!! FROSTBITE LOCKED IN!!!!

Holly fights furiously to try and get out of it! She hooks the leg, and attempts a half atomic drop! Chrysta keeps the hold locked in! Holly tries to get to the ropes, but Chrysta stands on Holly’s leg, causing her to drop to one knee! Holly reaches behind her, and lays out punches to Chrysta, but this does little to faze her. Eventually, the punches get weaker, and Holly’s arms fall to her sides. The ref lifts up her arm.

The arm drops once…

The arm drops twice…

The arm drops…THREE TIMES!!! THE MATCH IS OVER!!!

WINNER: The Ice Queen, CHRYSTA!!!

*“Senzafine” hits as the crowd gives both competitors their due, cheering for Holly and Chrysta. Miss White gets into the ring and celebrates, screaming at Chrysta “You WON! YOU WON! You DID IT!” Craig Kendo and Tony Chang get into the ring, and as Craig Kendo sees to Holly, blacked out, Tony Chang looks at her with disgust. Chrysta, exhausted, calls for the microphone.*

Chrysta: You see? You see, Connection? That’s what you call “elite”! I beat one of your own! I beat your protégé! I am elite! I…I am worthy to join your ranks!

*Craig Kendo looks up from Holly Vaughn, and appears to be chuckling. He nods at Tony Chang, whose face appears to light up. Chang circles Chrysta and Miss White, in a very sinister manner. Kendo gets himself a microphone.*

Kendo: You are correct, Ice Queen. You are indeed elite. However, I cannot allow you to enter our ranks. Not yet.

*Chrysta looks as if she is about to show some emotion, but even if she does, she keeps it well hidden.*

Chrysta: With all due respect, your promise was that TONIGHT, I would face the Ultimate test, to beat “Lady Spectacular” Holly Vaughn in the ring, and DESPITE interference and a distraction by your upstart disciple…I prevailed. I believe my part of the bargain is complete.

*Kendo once again chuckles. Chang doesn’t look thrilled at being called “upstart”, but Kendo gives a hand signal, and Chang sighs.*

Kendo: You misunderstand us. There is an Ultimate test you must face tonight. And you did beat our protégé. However, that was not the test. THIS is the test.

*Kendo snaps his fingers, and as Chrysta and Miss White stand there in curiosity, Chang suddenly grabs Miss White, and kicks down on her leg, forcing Miss White to her knees. Chang then grabs White in a chinlock, and mockingly taunts at Chrysta, who may, or may not be, showing concern. Chang then produces a baseball bat from his trenchcoat, and tosses it to Kendo. Kendo hands the bat to Chrysta.*

Kendo: You see, you have a certain…weakness to you. That…manager of yours. Miss White. She is weak. She will become a liability to us if she remains here in the EWT. Dispose of her and you may join us. We will assist you as best we can against these “Ragnals”.

*Chrysta looks down at the bat, then at Miss White, who is pleading at Chrysta to not do it. Chrysta pauses.*

Kendo: Why do you hesitate? She has been nothing but an annoyance, a thorn in your side since she joined you. She is dead weight, and will only slow you down. Finish her. Do it NOW.

*With the command given, Chrysta approaches Miss White, bat in hand. She is followed by Kendo, smiling proudly as a parent. Chang is gleefully awaiting the outcome. As Miss White screams at Chrysta not to do anything, Chrysta sighs, and closes her eyes as she swings the bat….


…AND KNOCKS CRAIG KENDO DOWN!!!!

*She stares down at Kendo, coldly as ever. As Kendo tries to get to his feet, Chrysta hits him over and over again with the bat. Chang just stands there, amazed at the spectacle. He eventually releases Miss White, and storms over to Chrysta. He grabs her by the throat, and yells at her “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?” Chrysta swings the bat at Chang’s head, but he catches the bat, and throws it aside. He then smiles and yells “BIG MISTAKE!!!”*

*LOW BLOW FROM MISS WHITE!!! Miss White hits a merciless low blow onto Tony Chang, which stuns him enough to release his grip on Chrysta! Chrysta backs away, choking, as Miss White grabs Tony Chang and runs him over the ropes, hitting the STRATUSFEAR!!! Miss White then indicates to Chrysta, who climbs the turnbuckle, and leaps off with the FALLING ICICLE ONTO TONY CHANG!!! Chang rolls out of the ring as Miss White and Chrysta turn their attention to Holly Vaughn, recovering. Holly looks up at Chrysta and Miss White, and the three stare down. Chrysta and Miss White then charge Holly, who quickly gets out of the ring, and stares emotionless at the two in the ring. Holly is soon joined by the two other members of The Connection. With Craig Kendo and Tony Chang supporting each other. Chang is cursing at both Miss White and Chrysta, Kendo is simply glaring at the women, fury in his eyes. As the Connection disappear up the ramp. Miss White and Chrysta return their attention to each other. There is a pause between the two, and Chrysta eventually extends her hand to Miss White, a rare sign of her appreciation to her. Miss White looks down, and then hugs Chrysta, tearfully. Chrysta then quickly shoves Miss White off her, showing that she is still pretty emotionless. Miss White apologises, and then lifts her arm in victory as the crowd applaud both women. Chrysta then leaves the ring, away from the applause, as Miss White follows her.

[dorf]

*The camera looks outside to the Arid-zona sun to see if there is anything showing up. After a five second wait of nothing on the screen, a white limosine appears out of nowhere and parks inconspicuously in front of the EWT outside camera. The limo decides to stop and nothing happens as the camera then focuses at our next match…David Davies vs. Chance Confidence*

"Pomp and Circumstance" begins to play, and out walks Chance Confidence, yelling at the crowd, p'ing them o. Chance walks down, cocky as ever, and steps into the ring. Chance calls for a mic, and is handed one.

Chance: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to what is sure to be the greatest match on the card, due to the efforts of yours truly. So just sit back, relax, and marvel at how easily I put David Davies out of his misery. This won't take long.

"Come Dancing" hits, and the crowd pops, Chance turns to face the entrance, waiting for his opponent to show up, but nothing happens. Chance doesn't seem to notice when the crowd roars, as David appears on the apron behind Chance. Dave launches himself into a springboard, and hits a sommersault dropkick to Chance's back. Chance stumbles to the ropes, and Dave pulls him into a schoolboy, only getting a two when Chance kicks out.
Chance leaps to his feet, and Dave runs right into his armdrag. Chance follows up with and Ab-stretch. Dave works his way to his feet, and backs into a turnbuckle, slamming Chance right into it, and CC breaks the hold. Dave jumps out of the corner with Chance in a bulldog, and turns into a pin, again only getting two.

Dave gets up to his knees, grabs Chance's hand, and Chance nips up to his feet. Chance gets Dave with a harsh kick to the side of the head, and follows up with a split-legged lionsault, and goes for a pin. Dave kicks out at two. Chance pushes Dave down into a pin again, and again only gets two. Dave leans up and pulls Chance into a small package. Chance is able to kick out at two, and both get to their feet.
Chance runs at Dave, who whips him to the ropes, and upon his return, sends him high into the air with a flapjack, letting him fall to the mat. Dave backs into the ropes, and takes off in a run, and cartwheels into the ropes opposite. He leg-bounces off the ropes, back to his feet, backflips, and lands the Superstar Elbow. Dave covers for a two count, and as both get up, Chance gets on top of Dave and tries to force him into a full nelson on the mat.

Dave yanks himself out of it, and gets to his feet. Chance gets under him and stands, putting Dave in the Electric Chair position. Dave falls down into a victory roll, but Chance reverses it mid-roll, and Chance ends up on top. Chance scores a two count, as Dave kicks out. Chance gets to his hands and knees and diving tackles Dave by his legs, and Dave lands in a crumpled mess.
Chance takes this opportunity to lock Dave in an anklelock, twisting, grinding, nashing away at Dave's ankle. Dave kicks back with his free foot, catching Chance in the face. Eventually, Chance let's go, and Dave his free, but still in great pain. As Chance gets up, Dave jumps into a twisting enziguri, which Chance ducks, and grabs Dave's ankle again, applying the lock once more.

Dave claws and crawls his way to the ropes, finally getting his hand around the bottom rope. At first Chance won't break up the hold, but does as the ref begins his count. Dave pulls on the ropes to get to his feet, and limps over to Chance. Chance laughs at Dave, begins mocking him by feigning a limp, and winds back for a big punch.
Dave ducks the punch, and spins Chance around. Dave gets him into Tiger Suplex, and lifts him up, landing a waffleface slam. Dave doesn't capitalize with a pin, instead grabbing at his injured ankle. This give Chance ample time to recover. Dave gets to his knees, in time to see Chance coming off the ropes at full speed, getting him with a dropkick right in the face.

Chance goes outside to the apron. He flips off the crowd, and springboards into the ring, missing a leg drop. Dave slides out of the way in time. Dave gets up, leaps into a Red Star Press, and covers for a two count. Dave rolls off of Chance and grabs at his angle, visibly grinding his teeth in pain over his ankle.
Dave struggles to get to his feet, and at the same time, Chance gets up as well. Chance runs to Dave, who boots him in the stomach, and hits the Davies DDT. Dave crawls to his feet, and limps out to the apron. Dave salutes the crowd, and jumps up for a springboard, but, tumbles, the strain on his ankle too much to bare.

In an instant, Chance is up to his feet, and one Confidence Breaker later, it's all over.

Announcer: Here is your winner, Chance Confidence!

The crowd makes their displeasure known through boos, but Chance could care less. Chance just simply leaves the possibly unconcious Dave in the ring.

*Ragnals meet up in their lockerroom as Mike officially returns tonight. Linda Ragnal is nearly dressed as the crowd ooh and awes her new tights on her sexy, lavishingly body. Linda turns around and has a message.*

Linda: *sexy* Do I look ready?

Joe and Mike: *jaws drop* Yes. *Camera turns to a sexy, fully dressed Linda Ragnal*

Linda: Now go make the Ragnal clan a happy night!

Mike and Joe: Yes, Linda.

*Mike and Joe leave to prepare for their match*

[dorf]

*Linda gives a scuff-like laugh and leaves to her match up next*

LILLIAN: THe following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the EWT Girl Next Door Championship. Making her way to the ring first, is the challenger…Carla O. WOE!

*”She’s Got Issues” plays as Carla heads down to the ring.*

LILLIAN: And the opponent…She is the EWT Girl Next Door Champion…Linda RAGNAL!

*”Going Under plays as Linda, wearing the GND title around her waist, heads into the arena ala Lita. She runs down and slides into the ring, and hands the title to the ref to present to the crowd.*

*The ref hands the title to Lillian, and the bell rings. Linda runs at Carla, and tackles her down to the ground. She kicks at Carla’s stomach a few times, and then picks her up and whips her into a corner. Carla stops just before she reaches, grabs hold of the turnbuckle, and leaps over a charging Linda, causing her to hit the turnbuckles. Linda staggers backwards, and Carla grabs Linda for a reverse neckbreaker. Carla goes to pin.*

1!

*Linda kicks out. Carla drops a few elbows on Linda, then picks her up and hits a vertical suplex. Carla keeps Linda locked in and hits another suplex. Carla attempts a third in a row, but Linda breaks out, goes behind Carla, and places her into an abdominal stretch! The ref checks on Carla, to see if she wants to quit or not, but Carla refuses, and the match continues. After two minutes in the move, Carla starts to elbow Linda in the stomach, and after a few tries, Linda satrs to weaken, and finally lets go of the hold. Carla bounces off the ropes and goes for a head scissors, but Linda grabs her midway and puts her into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Linda goes to pin Carla.*

1!2!

*Kickout from Carla. Linda picks Carla up and attempts an Irish Whip, but Carla counters, and whips Linda into the corner. Carla picks Linda up to the top turnbuckle, and hits a top rope hurracanrana onto Linda. Carla goes to hit a dropsault onto Linda, and attempts a pin.*

1!2!

*Linda kicks out. Carla picks Linda up and whips her into the ropes, and bends over to attempt a back drop, but Linda stops after the ropes and before Carla and kicks her in the face. Carla grabs her face and turns around, staggering in pain, and Linda hits a running bulldog onto Carla. Linda whips Carla into the corner, and splashes her. Linda takes Carla to the top turnbuckle and attempts a superplex, but Carla punches Linda in the stomach just before she can. Linda attempts it again. Another punch to the gut. Linda gives it one more try, and Carla punches her again. Linda lets Carla out of the hold, and the two start to trade blows to the face. After several of them, it seems like Linda is getting weaker, and Carla grabs Linda, and hits an STO off the top turnbuckle! Both women are down, and the ref begins the count.*

1!

2!

3!

4!

5!

6!

7!

*Carla gets up to her feet, grabs Linda by the hair, and whips her into the ropes. Linda bounces off the ropes and Carla leapfrogs over her and turns around, and meets a running DDT from Linda. Linda goes up to the top rope and goes for a leg drop, but Carla rolls out of the way, and Linda meets the canvas. Carla moves Linda closer to the turnbuckle, rolls her over, and goes to the top rope. Carla jumps off for the Eye Candy, but Linda gets knees up, and Carla lands on top of them. Linda rolls Carla over for the pin.*

1!2!

*Kick out by Carla. Linda can’t believe what just happened, and picks Carla up again. Carla slaps Linda’s hands away, kicks her in the gut, and whips her into a corner. Carla runs and goes for a hurracanrana, but Linda grabs Carla’s legs, keeping her from hitting the attack. Linda walks out of the corner, places her legs in front of Carla’s arms, and lands a clash on Carla. Linda turns her over and goes for the pin.*

1!2!3!

*The bell rings, and the ref hands Linda her title, and she rolls out of the ring. Carla looks at Linda, who’s on the ramp, holding the GND title high and looking back at Carla. Linda shouts to Carla-*

LINDA: Good match…but not good enough!

*With that, Linda heads into the back area, and Carla soon follows, going into the back as the crowd gives Carla a standing ovation.*

*The camera immediately fades to the parking lot where the limo is parked, but it is too late as we caught a glimpse of what is Toomi Bischoff in the limo. The cameraman tries to run, but can not catch up to who that person was…as the crowd perceptively believes that was Toomi Bischoff.*

[dorf]

*Camera focuses on the next match…Joe Ragnal vs. UC*

"Poor And Weird" blasts through the stadium and everyone gets surly. UC comes out from the back and stops at the top of the ramp. He poses for the crowd, giving the fans something good to boo at. Lilian makes the intro as he starts walking toward the ring.

Lillian: "This match is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Introducing first...from Portland, Oregon. Weighing in at 240 lbs.......Ultimo Chocula!"

UC gets into the ring and jumps on the turnbuckles egging the crowd on some more. Then "Fade" plays and the crowd pops. Joe Ragnal comes out from the back and runs to the ring.

Lillian: "And his opponent...from Scranton, Pennsylvania. Weighing in at 245 lbs. He is the Cloudbreaker, Joe Ragnal!"

Joe poses for the fans a little bit but once his music stops he gets serious. The bell rings and both men get face to face with one another. Both are talking trash and neither is backing down. Suddenly UC shoves Joe and he staggers back. Joe shoves UC back and he staggers. UC comes back with a slap across the face. Joe gets steamed and starts punching UC across the head. UC comes back with his own punches and we got a brawl. UC knees Joe in the gut and throws him into the ropes. UC goes for a jumping calf kick but Joe rolls underneath it. Joe jumps and hits UC with a dropkick that sends him to the ground. Joe follows up with some Ric Flair chops that back UC to the turnbuckles. Joe sends UC to the opposite buckles but UC reverses. Joe runs up to the second buckle and leaps off with a flying cross body and tries for a pin.

1........

That's all he gets. Joe picks up UC and hits a snap suplex. He climbs to the second turnbuckle and leaps off with an elbow drop. He picks up UC and delivers a swinging neckbreaker and goes for a pin.

1.........
2........

Kickout. Joe picks up UC and sends him into the ropes, connecting with a spinning back elbow. Joe gets up and points to the crowd, who pop like hell. He then runs against the ropes and comes down with a senton back splash. He goes for another pin.

1.........
2.........

Kickout by UC. Joe sends UC into the ropes and goes for a clothesline but UC ducks, stops his momentum, and hits Joe with a spinning heel kick. UC gathers himself for a moment then picks Joe up. UC tries for a suplex but Joe reverses, landing on his feet behind UC. UC sees this and runs to the ropes himself but Joe leapfrogs then catches UC on the rebound and throws him over the top rope. UC hangs on to the top rope and lands on the ring apron but Joe sees this and hits UC with a springboard dropkick that sends UC down to the floor. Joe goes out to the ring apron and waits for UC to stand up. Once he does Joe leaps off with an Asai moonsault but UC moves out of the way sending Joe down stomach first on the concrete. UC slides underneath the ring ropes and signals to the crowd, then runs against the ropes and sails over with a Cannonball Run that takes out Joe. UC stands up and mocks Joe, kicking him a few times in the head. UC picks up Joe and suplexes him on the ramp, causing Joe to grab his back in pain. UC picks Joe up and throws him back into the ring. UC springs up to the ring apron then leaps off the ropes and connects with a springboard legdrop. He covers for a pin.

1........
2.......

Joe kicks out. UC picks Joe up and gives him a back suplex. He then gives Joe two Bret Hart style elbow drops, then hits the ropes and comes down across Joe's sternum with a Gangrel-bow. He covers again.

1..........
2.........

Kickout again. UC picks Joe up and sends him into the ropes. UC leapfrogs over Joe and gives him a spinning knuckle on the rebound. UC picks Joe up again and locks in gives him a hammerlock overhead suplex. UC then climbs to the top turnbuckle and leaps off with a super high moonsault landing directly on Joe's chest. UC stands up and gloats to the fans a bit and they boo him like there's no tomorrow. UC turns his attention back to Joe and locks him in a Strangle Hold Gamma. Joe tries to fight it off best he can but UC has it in tight. After a few minutes the crowd gets into it.

"Let's go Ragnal!"
Clap! Clap! Clap-clap-clap!

UC still has the hold on but Joe looks like he's about to break it. UC lets go of the hold on his own and Joe rises to a sitting position, but UC gets a running start and nails Joe with a free kick. He goes for the cover.

1........
2.........

Joe gets a shoulder up. UC signals that he's going to end it. He puts Joe in a front face lock for the Sugar Fix but Joe punches UC in the stomach, then leaps up with an enziguri, blasting UC in the melon. Both men are on the mat. UC rises first and ax handles Joe in the back. UC looks to try for a brainbuster but Joe reverses into an Orange Crush Bomb. Joe tries for a pin.

1.......
2.......

UC kicks out. The move took some of the wind out of UC as he tries to get up. Joe staggers up with the help from the ropes. Joe charges at UC but UC scoops him up onto his shoulders. Joe uses his momentum to flip around and locks in a Christo on UC. UC lowers down to one knee and tries to fight it off. Joe is cranking on UC's arm and the ref is right there to make the call if UC wants to quit. UC is almost down but he begins to stand back up. Joe releases he legs and swings around to UC's front, then leaps up for a hurricanrana into a pin.

1.........
2.........

Kickout. Joe runs against the ropes and comes back with a Yakuza Kick that floors UC. He covers again.

1..........
2..........

Kickout. Joe runs again and tries another Yakuza Kick but UC ducks. UC turns around and blasts Joe with a Shell Shock. Joe is face first on the mat and UC struggles up to his knees. UC lowers his knee pad and cracks Joe across the head with a DeMento Knee Drop. He covers.

1.........
2.........

Joe kicks out. UC is frustrated and he picks Joe up sends him into the buckles. Joe hits chest first and staggers out. UC runs up behind him and applies the Squid Face! UC covers again.

1...........
2...........
3.........

No! Joe gets the shoulder up. UC wants to finish it off and puts Joe in a front face lock again, signaling for the Sugar Fix. UC is about to lift him when Joe reverses into a Release Northern Right Suplex. UC stands up and Joe is there to scoop him up and take him out with a Burning Hammer. Joe covers and hooks the leg.

1.........
2.........

UC kicks out. Joe puts UC in a front face lock and hammers away on his back with a series of forearms. Joe then picks him up and nails a brain buster. Cover again.

1..........
2..........

UC kicks out. Joe climbs to the top rope and waits for UC to stand up. UC turns and sees Joe leap off for a cross body but UC jumps and drop kicks him in the stomach. Joe tries to stand up but the air is knocked out of him. UC runs up on him and immediately puts Joe in a Perfect Plex.

1..........
2..........
3!

That's it! UC finally got a win over Joe Ragnal. UC jumps up and raises both hands sporting the biggest fecal eating grin you ever saw. Joe rolls over to the side of the ring, shaking his head. UC yells over to Lillian Garcia...

UC: "Make the announcement honey!"

Lillian: "Here is your winner.........Ultimo Chocula!"

UC: "That's right, yo!"

UC is on the turnbuckles giving everyone a the two finger salute, getting major heat in the process. One fan throws a cup at UC but he just laughs it off.

*Camera fades at a worried Dorf of what just happened at Hoss Mathews at an earlier segment.*

Dorf: Jeez, Moxie seems very good tonight. I remember his battle with Heiden-Dorf and he could not defeat him. Looks like he is back in his groove and I must do something to defeat him. *ponders as the next match is just about ready*

[dorf]

Finkel: The following contest tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! The winners will become the Number One Contendors for the EWT Tag Team Championships!

Pomp and circumstance starts up and the start crowd starts booing immediately, Pain and Canceler slowly walking down to the ring.

Finkel: Introducing first... at a combined weight of 750 pounds, Canceler... Principal Pain, The P.T.A.!!!

Pain and Canceler quickly enter the ring. Pain rips off his suit as usual. The two await their opponents.

Soon the Nyrd's new heelish theme starts up and they slowly walk out to the ring. They recieve a mixed reaction, mainly because of the opponents they are facing.

Announcer: And their opponents, at a comined weight of 348 pounds, Mike and Joel, the Nyrds!!!

The Nyrds quickly enter the ring, each one staring right across the ring at Pain and Canceler. Canceler and Joel exit the ring as it will be Pain and Mike starting out. The bell rings and the two immediately lock up! Pain quickly goes behind Mike, only to have Mike go behind him. Pain goes behind Mike once again and attempts at German Suplex, but Mike manages to flip into the air and land on his feet as he's launched. He immediately runs forward and goes for a clothesline, Pain counters by grabbing his arm and taking him to the mat for an armbar, but Mike escapes by flipping out of it. The two get up and rise back up, getting a slight cheer from the crowd for the fast-paced exchange.

Pain backs up and starts circling the ring, Mike doing the same, each trying to find a weakness in the other one. As soon as they are right across from each other, the two charge forward and go for a double dropkick. The kicks cancel each other out and Mike and Pain simply hit the mat. As the two rise back up, they walk over and tag in their respective partners. Immediately Joel and Mike run forward, Joel sliding under the Canceler as Mike connects at the same time with a dropsault to his face. Canceler stumbles and eventually falls over, thanks to Joel crouching behind him as he slides off him to the ground. Pain immediately runs forward though towards Mike who goes for a clothesline, but Pain rolls out of the way, leaping up immediately for a dropkick. Mike goes down hard. pain quickly rises back up.

Meanwhile Joel goes for a cover on Canceler. 1...2 Canceler POWERS out, sending Joel sailing across the ring to the other side. He groans a bit as Canceler slowly rises p, a bit angry now. He waits for Joel to rise abck up and runs forward with a knee smash to his face. Joel goes down hard as Canceler leaps up for a leg drop to his throat. It connects and Joel writhes in pain as it does. Canceler goes for a quick pin attempt. 1...2...

But Mike runs across the ring and breaks it up with a quick stomp. Canceler gets back up and eyes the two Nyrds, reaching and grabbing both by their necks. He looks to Pain who runs into the ring and stands near the two Nyrds, leaping up and bringing them both down for a a pair of one armed neckbreakers. Both Nyrds hit the ground hard. Pain pulls Mike out of the ring and whips him into the barricade on the outside. Canceler meanwhile goes for another cover on a fallen Joel. 1....2....

But this time, Joel gets his foot on the ropes. Angrily, Canceler grabs his foot and tugs him to the center of the ring, for another cover. 1...2....

But this time Joel kicks out somehow. Canceler can't believe it! He lifts Joel to his feet only to get by a blind low-blow. As he falls to his knees, holding his privates, Joel runs back and bounces off the ropes, then sprints forward and nails a Mushoom Stomp off the top of his head. Canceler kneels down a bit lower. As Joel lands, he bounces off the ropes again and then nails the huge man with a Throwback. Canceler falls to the mat as Joel immediately runs to the turnbuckle and hops up, going for the Skywalker and connects! 1....2...

But Pain comes back in just in time to break up the count. Joel looks up at Pain nand gets hoisted to his feet, then lifted up for a brainbuster to the mat. Mike is back on the apron as Pain heads back to his. Joel immediately tags in Mike and he runs forward, at a rising Canceler. But he immediately gets caught and slammed with a 515 pound flapjack to the mat. Canceler quickly gets back up and tags Pain back in. Pain quickly climbs onto Canceler's shoulder's as he walsk over to the fallen Mike. As he looks up, Pain leaps off and attempts a splash from off the huge man and connects! He hooks the leg for a cover. 1...2....

But this time Mike kicks out. Pain looks a bit shocked, he immediately hoists him back to his feet and grabs his leg for a dragon screw, taking him down and locking in a leg lock. Mike struggles to escape the lock and reach the ropes, but Pain doesn't want that to happen, applying as much pressure to his leg as he can manage. As Mike continues to try and crawl over, half the crowd starts cheering, the other half booing. Pain looks on in shock as Mike reaches and grabs the ropes. 1...2...3....4

Pain reluctantly releases the submission, but the damage has already been done. Mike holds his now slightly injured leg, crawling over and trying to tag in Joel, but Pain doesn't let that happen. He grabs Mike and drags him back to his side of the ring, tagging in Canceler. Pain holds his leg down as Canceler of all people climbs to the top turnbuckle! He then immediately leaps off for a double footed stomp to Mike's leg. It connects and Mike screams in agony. He hols his now, possibly broken, definitely hurting leg. Canceler lifts Mike up by his Neck and then starts pushing Mike forward. Pain runs over to the other side of the ring, bouncing off the ropes and charging forward, as Canceler pushes Mike the same way. It's time for the Hickory Stick! Pain leaps up and connects with flying clothesline to Mike who goes down hard. Canceler immediately goes for a cover. 1...2...

But again Joel breaks up the count. Pain grabs Joel from behind and hoists him up for a german suplex... followed by a dragon suplex. He then hoists him up one more tiem, going for the tiger, but Joel tries to fight out of it with some stiff elbow shots. Eventually Pain releases his grip, Joel leaping up and taking Pain out of the ring with a clothesline, sending him over as well.

Meanwhile, Mike is there all alone with Canceler. Not a good place to be. He's immediately lifted up once again, by his neck. Canceler then prepares for the ISD. However, Mike manages to drop from behind him and then bounces off the ropes once again and connects with a baseball slide like move... to Canceler's foot. He grunts and falls over to the mat. Mike immediately prepares to finish him off. The referee is busy with with Pain and Joel who are fighting on the outside. He prepares for a Mariosault, but wait a minute. Chance Confidence is now heading towards ringside. Mike looks over a bit distracted. That's all it takes for Canceler to get back up and grabs and yank Mike off the turnbuckle. Joel is down as Pain slides into the ring, climbing up onto the turnbuckle, Mike in Military press position. Pain immediately leaps off and connects with the Expulsion. He immediately gets up and runs back to the outside, taking out a rising Joel with a Top Rope flip.

Canceler quickly hooks the leg. 1...2....

3!!! After a hard fought match, the P.T.A. comes out on top, maintaining their undefeated team streak.

Announcer: Here are your winners and the Number One Contendors for the Tag Team Championship, The P.T.A!!!

Principal Pain and Canceler slowly exit the ring, the match being one of the most physical they've ever had. Pain is handed a microphone by Confidence.

Pain: I hate to admit it... but the Nyrds weren't as weak as I thought. But once again, the P.T.A. has come out on top! And Ragnals... HBH and Limey, whoever is champion at the end of the night, just remember this... the P.T.A. is going to teach you a lesson... you'll never forget!!!

He drops the mike and the P.T.A. exit the ring. Mike and Joel look at each other, almost unable to believe they lost.

*Curly Long and Mr. Big are shown in the back doing streches to prepare for the match…as Raskall & Trunk music is playing.*

[dorf]

*The Fink re-enters the ring, he adjusts his bow-tie before speaking into the mike*

THE FINK: The following match is a tag team contest . . . introducing first from Durkadurkastan supposedly . . they weigh in at a combined weight of 505 pounds . . . accompanying them is the beautiful Kristina . . they are . . Raskall & Trunk!!

*The Guns'n'Roses Tune "Hair of the Dog" issues forth from the speakers as the crowd turns to the main stage, and here come Raskall & Trunk with Kristina who still has her neck in a brace. They wander down to ringside the crowd giving them a welcome cheer as they know they defiantly won't be cheering the opposition ... as this happens we cut back to the announce booth to find - Josh Matthews and Jesse Ventura*

JOSH MATTHEWS: Good Evening everyone, I'm Josh Matthews alongside Jesse Ventura . .

JESSE VENTURA: That's Jesse 'the Body' Ventura to you!

JOSH: Sure Jesse, anyway this match up looks to be a classic, oh but Raskall and Trunk are in the ring so we must go back to the Fink . .

*As Raskall and Trunk warm up in the ring, The Fink prepares to announce the opponents*

THE FINK: and there opponents . . first from Spread Eagle, Wisconsin . . he weighs in at 140 pounds . . he is the current General Manager of the EWT . . he is . . CURLY LONG!! . .

*On that Curly walks out to the sinister version of "Moving on Up" by M-People* and a large chorus of boos from the crowd, Curly responds by giving them the finger!

THE FINK: . . and his partner from . .

*Curly brings out a mike from his back pocket as he walks to the ring and interrupts the Fink*

CURLY: . . Take a hike Finkel, go buy yourself a new wig! . . now I know I promised that Mr. Big would be here . .

*Raskall and Trunk look worried*

CURLY: . . but unfortunately I still haven't found him . .

*Raskall and Trunk both smile and high five as Curly gets in the ring*

CURLY: But hey I can still take you two chumps down on my own, so come on and see if you can take out the biggest thing in EWT history!!

Bell Rings

Raskall calmly tells Trunk that this will take about a minute, so Raskall decides to go first as he walks to the centre of the ring where Curly arrogantly already stands. They continue to talk crap at each other. Until obviously wound up by Curly's remarks Raskall takes a swing, but Curly runs under Raskall's legs and launches a dropkick at Trunk, forcing him to drop to the floor. Trunk furious by this move tries to enter the ring but the referee stops him and they argue. This gives Curly the opportunity to nail Raskall with a punch to the Crown Jewels.

JOSH: Raskall certainly felt that one! Trust an evil midget to go for a low blow!

JESSE: Thats not the only low blow Curly likes . . so I'm told. .

JOSH: Nice Jesse, I expect that sort of comment from Lawler! not you!

Raskall goes down as Curly goes for the cover . .

1,2 . .

Raskall pushes Curly off . . and clutching his injured manhood makes a tag to an angry Trunk. Curly gives a grin and a 'come on then' taunt to the power house that is Trunk. Trunk wastes no time and charges full steam, but Curly side steps and he crashes into the turnbuckle. Curly tries to capitalize with a roll up . . but Trunk kicks out before even a one count. Curly gives Trunk a few kicks as he gets up, but Trunk barely feels it and manages to grab Curly in a huge bear hug! . . Curly begins to fade as the powerful biceps crush the Midget General Manager. The Ref goes to check on curly and starts the arm test . . but wait whats this! . . Sensational Sherri has run down to ringside . .

JESSE: Now what business does she have down here?

Sherri gets up on the apron and starts shouting at Trunk, Christina has seen enough despite her injured neck and pulls Sherri down to the floor . . CATFIGHT! . . the two women roll about on the floor tearing each others clothes off. The Referee his hands full, tries to separate them as does Raskall. Meanwhile Curly takes advantage of the distraction and bites Trunk's nose! . . Trunk releases his grip as he holds his nose in agony. The two women continue to slap and claw each other all the way up the ramp, much to the disbelief of Raskall, who turns back to the ring to see Curly with a crafty grin on his face.

JOSH: Clearly Curly has called in some help as he couldn't find Mr. Big!

Curly back on his feet, quickly jumps on the back of Trunk and tries to lock in a sleeper, but despite the pain Trunk throws Curly off, he makes a tag to a pissed Raskall. Raskall picks up Curly and hits a DDT, he follows this by climbing the Turnbuckle, he signals to the crowd and leaps! . . Corkscrew Senton!! . . holding his back Raskall makes the cover . .

1,2,3 . .

Curly kicked out!! . . Raskall can't believe it and neither can Trunk! as the crowd boo's the diminutive general manager.

JOSH: That is the toughest Midget I've seen, since . .

JESSE: . . you got in the ring against JBL??

JOSH: oh shut up Jesse!

Raskall frustrated starts kicking Curly as he lies on the canvas, he drags him to his corner and tags in Trunk. Trunk lifts Curly up, Trunkbuster!! . .Trunk tags Raskall! . . Curly is down and out!

JOSH: looks like Raskall is going to the top-rope again! . .

JESSE: no doubt to finish off Curly with a Raskall House Special!

Raskall signals to the crowd as he prepares to fly again . . hey wait a minute who's this coming out the crowd . . . its Gene Snitsky!! . . but Raskall has already seen him . . moonsault to the outside onto Snitsky! . . and there both down! . . Trunk can't make the pinfall he isn't the legal man! . . Trunk picks up Curly looks like he's going for a spinebuster . . no wait counter into a flipping neckbreaker by Curly!! . . they both are down on the canvas! . everyone is out!

*Suddenly from the speakers some heavy dark music plays, and as the lights focus on the stage, here comes MR. BIG!, the crowd half boo's and half cheers for the dangerous man mountain*

JOSH: Its MR. BIG!!! . . he's back!! . . and he looks like a demon possessed!

JESSE: .. control yourself Josh ...

Mr. Big jumps up to Curly's corner, as Raskall tries to climb back up to his corner. The ref thinks Trunk is the legal man so starts a ten count!! . .

1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..

Curly stumbles to his feet, he see's Big and gives the biggest grin since his General Manager reign started. But Trunk is back on his feet too . . he grabs Curly . . he tries for a second Trunkbuster . . NO! Curly has slipped out of it . . he tags Mr. BIG!! . .Trunk is concerned for a second, but charges Big anyway. Unfortunately Trunk runs straight into a Mr. Big big boot! .. Raskall runs in too but gets Clotheslined ! . . Powerslam to Trunk! .. Powerslam to Raskall! . . Trunk stumbles to his feet, a headbutt by Big stuns Trunk, he lifts him up . . Ganzo Bomb to Trunk!! . . Big covers!! . .

1,2,3 . .

No Raskall has broken it up! .. Mr. Big turns to Raskall who smacks him with a sharp right hand! . . uh-oh Mr. Big barely felt it . . . Raskall begs off Mr. Big, but Big is having none of it, he's got Raskalls throat! . . Chokelsam to the outside!! . . Raskall is hurt!! as the "Holy S***!" chants start up .. Big returns his attention to Trunk who has managed to stand. Huge powerbomb to Trunk!! . . Curly is back he wants the tag, tag made. He climbs on Big's shoulders . . 450 degree Splash by Curly to Trunk! .. that took a lot out of Curly, his eyes are almost glazed over .. Mr.Big turns to the crowd to celebrate .. cover ..

1,2,3 . .

No Trunk has rolled over onto Curly! . .

1,2,3.

Bell Rings, but Big is unaware of the result!

THE FINK: The winner of this match . . . . RASKALL & TRUNK!!

*Mr. Big turns to see Curly underneath Trunk! . . Mr.Big is enraged!! . . Chokeslam to the Referee!! .. Mr. Big goes to the timekeepers position he's got a chair!! .. Chairshot to Finkel!! busting him open. Big climbs back in the ring .. Trunk is being helped by Raskall .. Big doesn't care though! .. Chairshot to Raskall knocking him to the outside!! .. Mr. Big turns to Trunk who is still clueless on the canvas .. he puts Trunks neck between the chair .. Raskall is protesting outside as the 7ft 3", 350 pound Mr.Big climbs the turnbuckle! ..*

JOSH: No! someone stop this carnage!

Knee Drop off the top rope onto the chair!! Trunk spasms on the canvas as blood comes out of his throat! .. Mr. Big lifts up the knocked out Curly and heads to the backstage area .. as Raskall and paramedics rush to the aid of Trunk! .. as they put Trunk on a stretcher Raskall shouts abuse at Mr. Big and Curly!*

*Right after Raskall and Trunk leave the EWT ramp…as Mr. Big and Curly have a smile on their faces for what they have done; TOOMI BISHOFF’S MUSIC PLAYS! The audience goes crazy*

[dorf]

*The music plays real loud*

No way…you’ve got no way, cause it’s a bunch of time, boy that you’re gonna find out, CAUSE YOU’VE GOT NO WAY! NO WAY IN HELL! NO WAY! NO WAY IN HELLLLLLLL! COME ON, COME ON! No way!

*Finally someone comes out from under the banter. It was not Toomi Bischoff. Instead it looked like a new EWT superstar. Once he got over the CrapTron, he signaled the music to stop. He is carrying a mic with him as he is boo’d very loudly as they were duped of seeing Toomi Bischoff.*

New Guy: *laughs* You thought you were going to see Toomi Bischoff tonight? *crowd cheers* Well, it ain’t gonna happen. *crowd boo’s loud.* However, there will be a surprise real soon. You see I was the one who ‘drove’ the limo to the EWT Arena to pronounce my debut in this wrestling federation. I am terribly sorry that I have made you guys feel bad about me on my debut to EWT…trust me I am not a bad person. Hell, I think you guys believe that I am skinny, but it’s the other way around…I may not weigh much, but watch me wrestle and you will see how I good I am. Before I wrestle here in EWT, I want to tell you my name. My name is Primo and I am here for a reason and it involves you…CURLY LONG!

*Mr. Big picks Curly up to see what is going on…to see this guy, Primus. Curly has a confused look as to why a scraggly young man would want to bother Curly Long. Curly grabs a mic*

Curly: Ya know…I don’t even know who you are and already you’re issuing me a challenge?

Primo: *laughs* No, no…its other news and its something that I know and this person knows….*Toomi Bischoff’s music plays again. The crowd goes nuts because its somebody big*

*ITS MELINDA MCTOOM! MELINDA MCTOOM! Toomi Bischoff’s wife is here! The crowd is screaming crazy as Melinda McToom has not been in an EWT Arena ever. Toomi Bischoff would always yell or talk about her doing work. Melinda already has a mic and stands next to Primo*

Melinda: *pauses due to crowd still cheering for her* Hello, Mr. Long and Mr. Big.

Curly: Melinda McToom, I er…uh, what are you doing here?

Melinda: I am here because I am officially going to appoint a new GM tonight, since my husband has been injured. Since that he has been injured the Inmates have been running the asylum and it has been out of control. I saw that you, Curly Long controlled the grunt of the Inmates. Since that Mr. Toomi Bischoff, my husband cannot fulfill his duties anymore, you Curly Long are the new GM of EWT! *The crowd boo’s as a result as Curly Long’s match boards are pinning on the champion.* Don’t worry, I think he will do a good job as he has been doing. I mean, what can go wrong? Its no worse than my husband as GM? *Crowd becomes indifferent and believes Melinda*

Curly: Melinda McToom, I cannot thank you enough…I will do a great job and will keep it, until Mr. Toomi Bischoff returns. I swear on my behalf that nobody will do anything drastic to ruin EWT.

Melinda: You better, because you’re JOB will depend on it. *Curly Long has a worried look on his face.* One more announcement…since my husband is injured, I need somebody to look after me in the EWT Arena and Primo is the right guy for the bodyguard job. All muscle and no gut! *Primo flexes as the crowd is still indifferent (some cheers, some boo’s)* Thank you, ARID-ZONA for showing up to this PPV. It means so much to come here on a Monday evening to take time off your work schedule to watch this over IZW or RoS to prove that we’re the number one e-fed of all-time. Have a nice night! *Primo and Melinda McToom leave to some cheers, but no boo’s. Curly & Mr. Big leave soon there after.*

[dorf]

*Camera goes to DSR preparing for his final match in his lockerroom. Everybody is wishing him good luck to beat D-Boy and said of all DSRs achievements. DSR got fed up with that and gave a Turbonegro Destroyer! to the closest jobber he saw and left, pissed off.*

*We cut back to the ring where the EWT Tag titles are set up above the ring, and a number of ladders surrounding the outside of the ring.

LILLIAN: The following contest is a Ladder Match, and it is for the EWT World Tag Team Championships.

*RIP by Gary Neuman plays as Limey enters and heads down to the ring.*

LILLIAN: Making his way to the ring first, he is one half of the EWT Tag Team champions...Limey!

*"Sexy Guy" plays next as HBH enters and heads to the ring.*

LILLIAN: And the other half of the EWT Tag Team champions...The Heartbreak Hitman, Bret MICHAELS!

*As Bret gets into the ring, Bret and Limey look at each other, and they begin to argue and get in each other's faces. After a few seconds, "High Voltage" plays and Mike and Joe Ragnal enter the arena, both carrying a ladder with them.*

LILLIAN: And the challengers...The Master of Elemental Disaster and the Cloudbreaker...Mike and Joe RAGNAL!

*As The two brothers get to ringside, they place the ladders on the ground and slide into the ring, and start brawling with Limey and HBH. After a number of traded fists, Mike kicks Limey in the gut and throws him over the ropes, and HBH does the same to Joe. Mike and HBH turn their attention to one another, and soon lock up in the center. Mike tries to force HBH down, but HBH is too strong for Mike. Suddenly, Joe comes running from behind with a ladder and smashes it into HBH's back!*

JR: Bah gawd, that's gonna leave a mark!

*Limey rolls back into the ring. Mike and Joe look down at their opponents, and decide to attack them a little more. Mike goes to kick down Limey, and Joe elbow drops HBH a few times. Mike picks Limey up, bounces off the ropes, and lands a clothesline on Limey. Limey gets up again, and Mike whips him into a corner. Joe picks HBH up, and whips him into the corner, also. Mike picks up the ladder, and charges at the Tag champions with it, but both move out of the way, and Mike hits the turnbckles, which causes the lower ladder step to hit himself in the gut as it bounces back! Mike drops the ladder and grabs his stomach, and HBH hits a spinning heel kick. Joe goes to help Mike, but Limey hits him down with an STO! Limey looks over at the ladder Mike dropped, and sets it up in the ring's center. Limey starts climbing up it. HBH, with his back to Limey the whole time picks Mike up and goes to whip him into the opposite ropes, but instead knocks Mike into the ladder, which causes the ladder to fall, and Limey along with it, hitting the top rope. Limey falls off the rope and lands onto the outside floor. Mike is staggering around a bit, until he notices HBH going for a Sweet Chin Muzak. Mike grabs his foot just before he can kick, spins him around, and lands a dropkick to the chest. Joe slowly gets up, and Mike walks over to Joe, and pushes him in the chest.*

MIKE: JOE!

JOE: What?!

MIKE: GET THE TABLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*The crowd cheers on, and Joe goes outside the ring and looks under the apron for a table. He gets one and drags it from under the ring.*

JR: Bah Gawd, all we need now is a-

*Limey hits Joe in the back with a chair.*

JR: A chair! Bah Gawd, this Ladder match just became a TLC match!

*Limey grabs Joe and throws Joe into the steel pole. Joe hits, staggers for a bit and Limey goes for the Twist O’ Lime, but Joe pushes him into the barricade. Joe checks his forehead and sees blood dripping down his face. Joe runs at Limey and clotheslines him at the barricade. Limey is knocked down to the ground, and Joe gets back into the ring with the chair Limey grabbed, as HBH hits a charging Mike with a back drop. Joe smashes the chair over HBH’s back, drops the chair, and lands hits a DDT onto the chair. Both men are now down. Meanwhile, Mike goes outside the ring and grabs another ladder, gets back in, and sets it up in the middle of the ring. Just before Mike can climb the ladder, Rosa comes into the ring. Mike notices her and charges at her, going for a clothesline. Rosa ducks, bounces off the opposite ropes, stops at Mike, and kicks him in the nads! Mike is now on the ground in a fetal position, and rolls outside the ring. The crowd boos completely at Rosa, who’s now trying to get HBH up off the canvas. Joe grabs Rosa, puts her in a headlock, hops against the high ladder steps, and hits a Windfall on Rosa! Rosa, now feeling pain in her neck, rolls out of the ring. Joe slowly gets up and starts to go up the ladder. Limey, now back in the ring, starts to climb up also. Joe, seeing this, gets to Limey’s level and punches him in the face. Joe climbs up a step, as does Limey. This time, Limey punches Joe in the face. Limey goes up a step until he gets to the top of the ladder. Joe gets up, and punches him before he can reach the titles. Pretty soon, Joe and Limey are trading punches with one another, and after a few seconds, running down to the ring comes-

FLEX MAGNIFICENT!

Flex runs into the ring, grabs a chair, and hits both Limey and Joe in the back! This causes the both of them to fall off the ladder, and onto the ring canvas. Mike and HBH, who just got up off the floor, are met with the chair to their faces, and knocked back to the ground. Flex then rolls out of the ring and back up the entry ramp, posing for the crowd, and shouting at the four downed competitors.*

FLEX: You see dat?! You see what duh Magnificent one can do?!

*After Flex leaves to the back area, the four men are still down. After three minutes, Gasoline runs down to the ring, and helps HBH back to his feet. Mike is getting up at the same time, sees them and runs at them, but Gas hits Mike with a boot to the face, and knocks him down. As HBH slowly goes up the ladder, Gas picks Mike up and sets him up for a Jacknife Powerbomb, but Linda Ragnal and Tanya Flaire run down to the ring, each of them behind a knee and kicking at it several times, until finally, Gas falls down backwards, Mike landing on top of him. Mike slowly gets up and sees HBH going for the titles. Mike grabs the ladder and tosses it down, and HBH falls out of the ring, and hits the barricade. Mike goes to the ropes, and HBH gets up, jumps over the ropes, and hits an Asai Moonsault on HBH. Both of these men are down on the ground, and Limey is still down, too. Joe is slowly getting up, Linda and Tanya outside the ring cheering him on. Joe sees them, and asks them to give him the table. Tanya slides it in to him, as Limey is slowly getting up off the ground. Joe punches him in the face a few times,and finally places him on the table. Joe climbs to the top of the ladder, and looks for the Cloudbreaker, but Limey rolls off the table, and Joe goes flying right through.

*Limey slowly gets up and sees Mike climbing the ladder, and Limey spots the first ladder from earlier on, slanted on the ropes, runs up it, and hits a flying lariat onto Mike! Once again, all four men are down on the ground. Linda and Tanya are cheering for Mike and Joe to get up, but sadly, the first one up is HBH, rolling back into the ring, HBH begins to climb the ladder, and as he gets to the top, he looks at the two titles, then looks at Joe, seeing him rolling around. After a few seconds of deciding, HBH shrugs, and hits an elbow drop onto Joe! HBH rolls off the top of Joe, and kicks himself back onto his feet, and starts to climb back up the ladder. Mike is back onto his knees, trying to get to his feet. All he can do is watch as HBH is about to climb to the top of the ladder, and win the Tag Team titles for his team. Suddenly, Tanya can’t stand it anymore, and slides into the ring, climbs the opposite side of the ladder, gets her fist inside the ladder, gets it as far over to the other side as possible, and nails a low blow to HBH! HBH grabs at himself, falls backwards off the ladder, and onto the shoulders of Mike Ragnal. Mike sets him into the Torture Rack. Tanya gets out of the ring, and Mike climbs the ladder, with HBH still on his shoulders. As Mike gets to the top of the ladder, he spins HBH over his head, and sets him up for a Powerbomb.*

JR: Bah gawd! Bah gawd, Mike’s going for the Ragnalrok off the ladder! He’s gonna kill the both of them! Bah Gawd, DON’T DO IT!

*Joe is on one of the turnbuckles, jumps up close to the ladder, and hits an Enziguri onto HBH! Mike hits the Ragnalrok on HBH from the top of the ladder, and the both of them are on the ground, Mike staring up at the lights in shock!*

JR: Bah gawd, the Ragnals hit the Thunder Cracker! A Thunder Cracker from the top of the ladder! Bah Gawd!

*Joe slowly gets up, and climbs the ladder. After a minute of climbing, being battered and bruised from the beating he took, he gets to the top, and slowly grabs the titles. Finally, the bell rings.*

LILLIAN: Here are your winners…And NEW…EWT Tag Team Champions…The RAGNALS!

*Joe slowly gets off the ladder, and picks Mike up off the ground. Joe hands Mike his half of the belts, and Mike and Joe give each other a congratulatory hug. Linda and Tanya slide into the ring, and congratulate the two with hugs also. The four of the stand in the center of the ring, raising each other’s arms and titles in victory. After three minutes, the Ragnals and Tanya leave the ring, as Faint plays in the arena.*

*Rosa and Gasoline finally get up from outside the ring, and Carla comes running down from the back. Carla checks on Limey, helps him up, and helps carry him into the back. Gas helps HBH from off the canvas and Gas gives HBH a disappointed look, knowing now he won’t be able to get a shot at the titles. HBH apologizes and offers Gas a handshake. Gas agrees reluctantly and shakes his hand. After that, the both of them hug. Then as Gas is about to leave the ring, Rosa hits Gas with a lob blow, followed by some Sweet Chin Muzak from HBH. As Gas lies down in the ring, knocked out, HBH and Rosa run out of the ring and up the ramp, pointing and mocking Gasoline.*

JR: Bah gawd, how unjust of HBH! What did Gasoline ever do to Bret Michaels? What, I ask you?!

[dorf]

*Sum Guy comes up to Dorf...to bother him and ask him something*

Guy: *whispers*...pssst....Dorf, are you ready?

Dorf: Why do you have to whisper? *Sum Guy attempts to answer* SHHHHHHHHHHHHH! KNOW YER SOUL AND SHUT YER TRAP, Sum Guy! Well, to answer your question, the Dorf does indeed know one thing...one thing for damn sure; he will leave Arid-zona, home of the EWT Arena *cheap pop* still EWT World Heavyweight Champion! I had to go through DSR for an hour...so this guy Moxie is not even close in my league. Even though he had a battle with Heiden-Dorf 5 months ago...it was only for the Tri-State title...unlike Heiden-Dorf, I WILL prevail. Moxie will get your...JUST DO! That's it; Interview's over. *slams door at Sum Guy*

Guy: *smiles* AT LEAST HE ANSWERED MY QUESTION! *Camera focuses towards to the ring*

Finkel: It is with much regret that I have to inform all of you that the DSR vs. D-Boy will NOT TAKE PLACE tonight. Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome...D! S! R!

*DSR's music begins to play, but he doesn't come out. The music fades out.

Finkel: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome...D! S! R!

*The sound of a bomb is heard, leading into "Natural Born Killas" by Dr. Dre and Ice Cube. DSR comes flyin' out from the curtain, wearing some ripped up camouflage and a bald cap. The crowd is falling out of their chairs with laughter. He throws a garbage can into the ring, filled with typical "hardcore" gimmickry. DSR gets into the ring and rips the microphone from Finkel's hand.

DSR: Listen up, all you muthaf***in' b***h ass p***ies! The great, grand, and wonderful D-Boy has decided to no-show tonight! That's right, sadly, you're all gonna be deprived of some fantastic yardtardery. I was really looking forward to pullin' off innovative moves like the Grecho-Roman fall-off-of-something or the Magistral Light-Tube-to-the-back!

The Crowd: DSR! DSR! DSR!

DSR: <tongue in cheek> Shut da f*** up.

*The crowd roars with approval.

DSR: Now, don't start thinkin' that because that lying ass son of an ignorant sl** ain't hurr, that I'm gonna go out like a punk ass b***h. I've been workin' hard as f*** lately, training the next batch of muthaf****s that are gonna tear this s***hole down with their wrestling ability. That's why I originally wanted to retire, so I could let them take the spotlight. Well, since I'm not getting a proper final match to-f***in'-night, I'm just gonna have to have one further down the f***in' road. Now, hit MY muthaf***in' music!

*"A Torrid Love Affair", by Boys Night Out plays, as DSR poses on the turnbuckle for his fans. The fans throw streamers for their hero! DSR looks around, as the streamers come from all directions, filling the ring. DSR just stands on the turnbuckle, stunned. DSR comes down from the turnbuckle and points in each direction of the ring, screaming out "THANK YOU!" DSR then steps out of the ring, and takes a few minutes to walk around ringside, slapping hands with and hugging fans as he makes his way around. DSR continues up the entryway. At the top of the entryway, DSR turns and looks out over the capacity crowd. DSR drops to his knees, thanking the fans for all of their support. DSR gets to his feet and salutes the crowd before heading backstage.

[dorf]

*Camera focuses backstage with the Ragnals all fairly happy and tired. The Interviewer is Keeng.*

Keeng: How does it feel to be a Ragnal tonight?

Joe: *breathing heavy with sweat from his 2 matches* It fe-*Keeng interrupts*

Keeng: I was referring to Linda Ragal...

Linda: Thank you, Keeng; but let Joe answer for me.

Joe: Much thanks Linda...to answer your question, it feels great. I may have lost to Chocula tonight, but Mike returned and boy did he do a great job in that ladder match.

Mike: No, Joe...you were more awesome; at least you wrestled in 2 matches tonight. Although, winning a belt is a nice return.

*Linda Ragnal moves a little bit and that targets Keeng's attention*

Keeng: PUPPIES!

Joe: Should we?

Linda: Definitely, he disgraced the Ragnal body.

*The tag-team champs use their belts to hit Keeng at the same time. Linda Ragnal smiles as Keeng falls down easily. *

Linda: HOLD KEENG FOR ME!

Keeng: *muffled* PUPPIES!

*Linda then slaps Keeng so hard his face turned all red and is knocked out by her slap.*

Linda: Let's go home and celebrate...screw the World Heavyweight Title match.

Mike & Joe: Agreed. *All 3 leave as camera focuses back to the ring*

(The scene opens with the announcer in the middle of the ring. The crowd is going wild with anticipation for the next match. Above his head, the ref in the ring is holding the E.W.T. Tri-State Championship Belt! "Apocalypse Please" starts blairing over the loudspeakers, and the crowd goes wild!)

*ANNOUNCER*: The following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, hailing from the Aquarium.... MAELSTROM!!!!

(Maelstrom makes his way out of the back to a standing ovation from the crowd. He comes down the ramp with one arm raised above his head. Suddenly, from behind him comes Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark! Billy nails Maelstrom from behind with a flying forearm smash, and Maelstrom staggers forwards. Maelstrom's music cuts out, quickly, as he stumbles. Billy grabs Maelstrom by the back of his head and rushes him down to the ring. He drives Maelstrom headfirst into the canvas itself, before sliding the big man into the ring under the bottom rope. The ref instictively calls for the bell and the match is underway.)

*BELL RINGS*

(Maelstrom makes his way to his feet in a groggy manner. Billy quickly jumps onto the ring apron. He sizes Maelstrom up, jumps onto the top rope and goes for a flying headsiscors. He connects and Maelstrom is slung across the ring. Billy jumps on top of Maelstrom and starts pounding on his face with closed fists. He stops for a moment and raises a fist to the crowd in a cocky pose. He turns back to pound on Maelstrom more, but Maelstrom suddenly throws him off with authority! Billy rolls onto the canvas as Maelstrom quickly gets to his feet! Billy charges at him, but Maelstrom grabs him by the throat and nails a quick choke slam! The crowd goes wild with excitement as Billy rolls on the canvas gasping for air! Maelstrom walks over to the ring announcer, reaches out of the ring, and grabs the microphone!)

*MAELSTROM*: Billy Ubermark! You little &#@!, I put up with you for that stupid little "truce!" But now that Merc is out of the way, there's no need for us to be friends, anymore... Is there?

(The crowd applauds as Maelstrom continues to taunt Billy.)

*MAELSTROM*: So now, Billy, I'm going to do what I should've done for a while! I'm going to HURT YOU, BILLY.... BADLY!!! And I'm gonna enjoy it!!!

(Maelstrom throws the mic to the ground. He grabs Billy by the back of the hair and lifts him into position for a powerbomb.... but as he does so, he backs Billy over towards one of the turnbuckles. Maelstrom lifts Billy up, and nails him with a powerbomb... but as he does so, he makes sure the back of Billy's head hits the turnbuckle on the way down! Billy's head connects with the turnbuckle and then the canvas, afterwhich, he lays motionless on the apron! Maelstrom looks around at the crowd and raises his hands in a victorious pose. The camera gets a quick shot at Billy, who is still motionless. A trickle of blood can be seen forming a pool from the back of his head! The ref starts counting...)

1.....2.....3.....4....

(Maelstrom breaks the count by lifting Billy Ubermark to his feet, himself. Billy can hardly stand and seems out on his feet. Maelstrom moves Billy over by the ropes and leans him on the. After that, Maelstrom slides out of the ring, and sets up a table on the outside of the ring. He climbs back into the ring and manuvers Billy so that Billy is now outside of the ring, but on the canvas. Maelstrom then lets out a huge cry and sets Billy up for a chokeslam! He chokeslams Billy through the table outside the ring and onto the arena floor. Billy goes through the table, and his body is left in a heap. The crowd gasps and screams at this act. The ref, seeing what has happened, goes out to check on Billy. He looks at Billy for a couple of seconds and then runs over to the timekeeper's table and whispers something to the announcer.)

*BELL RINGS*

(The crowd stares in awe as Maelstrom stands in the ring, staring blankly at Billy Ubermark who is lying in a heap in the wreckage of the table. The announcer steps into the ring.)

*ANNOUNCER*: Ladies and Gentlemen, the referee has determined that Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark is no longer fit to continue in the match. Therefore, your winner, as the result of a T.K.O.... AND NEW E.W.T. TRI-STATE CHAMPION.... MAELSTROM!!!!!!

(The ref hands Maelstrom the new Tri-State Title belt. Maelstrom takes it, but doesn't even bother to look at it. Instead, he continues to stare blankly at Billy Ubermark, who is still lying in the wreckage of the table. Slowly Maelstrom raises one of his huge hands over his head in victory. The camera gets a close-up of Maelstrom's face as he mouths the words "It's over!" to Billy. Maelstrom then steps out of the ring and makes his way back up the ramp with the E.W.T. Tri-State Title belt in his hand. The crowd cheers for him, but seems a bit unnerved at what they have just seen Maelstrom do. As Maelstrom goes up the ramp, EMT's come down with a stretcher to help Billy Ubermark, who bleeding profusely from the back of his head. Billy stirs some in the table shards and blinks his eyes in a daze as the refs start to attend to him. The crowd seems to have a mixed reaction as a paramedic tries to get Billy Ubermarks vitals, and a badly injured Billy tries to get his bearings. The scene fades to black as one of the EMT's tells Billy to lay back and keep still.)

[dorf]

*Camera zooms to DSRs lockerroom, but DSRs stuff and he are not there as it looks he already left. What a shame of a no-show for a final event of EWTs finest Superstar of all-time. After a brief search to no avail, the camera focuses to the ring as Howard Finkel is about to announce THE MAIN EVENT!*

Fink: Llllladies and Gentlemen… Now is the time for your MAIN EVENT! Tonight’s match is scheduled for one-fall, and has a 60-minute time limit.

<The familiar sounds of “The Dagger” off Roadrunner Records hits the arena, and the screams hit, with a barrage of boos by the fans. The white flashbang hits below the ToomiTron and it starts the entrance of Moxie>

<The cameras zoom in on a sign, “The So-WHO? -thsayer!”>

Fink: The challenger… Making his way to the ring, weighing in tonight at 212 pounds, hailing from Minneapolis Minnesota…. He is… Moxie!!

<Moxie walks in from underneath the screen, and stands there, a smug look on his face. He walks down, his hands at his side, his slight smile turning into his normal cold-harsh look. He jumps up to the ring, and flips over, using the top rope. He dusts off his shoulder and his grey pants, and stands in his corner, the fans continually booing him, until…>

<“IT’S DORF’S TIME!” hits and the crowd drops booing, and begins a huge pop for Dorf, as he enters from underneath the ToomiTron>

Fink: Making his way to the ring, weighing in tonight at 268 lbs, hailing from Filthadelphia, he is your WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… HE IS DOOORRRRFFFF!!!!

<The fans erupt with approval and Dorf walks down to the ring, slapping hands and greeting fans on the way. He stops halfway and meets with the cold eyes of Moxie, and Dorf pauses, but then pushes onto the ring, and he goes on the apron, and raises his arms>

<The Fink drops out of the ring, and Dorf hands his championship belt to the referee. The ref thrusts the belt into the air and hands the belt over to the timekeeper. He calls for the bell, and the match is underway>

<DING DING DING>

<Moxie stands in his corner, as Dorf turns to face him. The ref claps his hands and waits for the two opponents to join him. The crowd is electric, and is having a chant war…>

Crowd: CRUSH HIM, MOXIE… <clap clap clap clap clap>

Crowd: KNOW YOUR SO-UL… <clap clap clap clap clap>

<Dorf and Moxie stand in the middle of the ring and they shake hands. Dorf and Moxie turn around and the crowd erupts again>

JR: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are coming in live, here at the EWT Arena; with me as always is “The Peacebringer” Carl Guerrero. Carl, words can’t describe the amount of “electricity” here in the Arena for this Main Event.

Carl: That’s right, JR. these two titans are about to clash, and we’re right in the middle!

<Moxie and Dorf stand in the center, staring at each other. They grapple, pushing each other away. Dorf goes to pull Moxie in, but Moxie kicks Dorf in the stomach. Moxie locks in a quick headlock, and Dorf easily pushes Moxie away, into the ropes. Moxie bounces off and ducks Dorf’s clothesline, and bouncing off the opposite ropes and hitting a high-impact dropkick>

Carl: Moxie is giving up around 50 lbs in this match-up, he’s going to need to get the bigger man down, and use his speed to his advantage.

JR: True, both Dorf’s technical ability and size advantage make this an epic battle.

<Dorf is only down to one knee, but he looks up at Moxie and smiles, as Moxie laughs, and the crowd get back into their chant war>

<Moxie waits for Dorf to get up, and they meet in the middle of the ring again. Collar and Elbow tie-up, and Dorf gains the advantage, with a toss into the ropes, he bends down for a back body drop, but Moxie kicks his left shoulder, and Dorf staggers, as Moxie bounces off the perpendicular ropes and hits a swinging neckbreaker>

JR: That’s good scouting on Moxie’s part, both working the injured left shoulder due to DSR’s punishment, and the head, possibly setting him up for the Oracle or the Black Dragon DDT.

<Dorf gets up relatively quickly, and Moxie stands waiting in his corner. Dorf’s a little nicked, but he scoffs at Moxie, and Moxie charges. Dorf ducks Moxie’s clothesline, and wraps his arms around Moxie’s waist. Moxie back flips as Dorf releases, and as Dorf is down, Moxie drops a knee on the chest of Dorf>

<Dorf is astonished, and the crowd cheers for Moxie. Dorf shakes his head no, and gets back up>

Carl: They’re feeling each other out here, testing each other.

<Dorf stands back up, and laughs at Moxie. He beckons Moxie, and they stand in the middle of the ring nose to nose>

<They stare each other down, both looking at each others eyes, talking trash. Moxie pushes Dorf back. The bigger man turns away, and hits Moxie with a big right forearm to the temple, knocking him down, and the crowd erupts, as Dorf then jumps on top of Moxie and begins a barrage of rights and lefts. Moxie covers up, and Dorf jumps up off Moxie and raises his hands, as the crowd goes crazy>

<Moxie slowly gets up and Dorf pulls Moxie up, he delivers a quick body slam, and then kicks Moxie’s back>

Dorf: You’re nothing!

<Dorf pulls Moxie up, and kicks Moxie in the gut. He pulls him up and hits tilt-a-whirl backbreaker>

JR: Dorf, with the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, working on those ribs of Moxie, his obvious weakness!

<Dorf pulls Moxie up again, as Moxie is grabbing his back, and hits a right to the face. Moxie staggers back against the ropes, and Dorf hits a big chop>

Crowd: WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

<And Moxie drops to his knees. Dorf pulls him up, and throws him off the opposite ropes; he hits Moxie with a snap overhead belly-to-belly suplex! Dorf goes for the cover>

1…. Kickout by Moxie!

<Dorf stands up and looks at the ref as the ref raises his hands up. Dorf pulls Moxie up, but Moxie punches Dorf in the abdomen and bounces off the opposite ropes. Dorf is still bent down, and Moxie rolls off Dorf’s back, turns and pulls him back for a straightjacket sit-out bomb. Moxie then locks in a quick headlock on Dorf, who slides his head out and locks Moxie in a wristlock. Moxie, who is lying on his stomach, rolls back and gets up, reversing the wristlock. Both men are standing up now, and Moxie kicks Dorf’s right knee, and Dorf drops to one knee. Still holding the wristlock, Moxie puts his left leg over the left shoulder, and behind the back of Dorf. He then wraps Dorf’s head behind his arm, (reverse DDT position) and pulls slowly back, his right knee into the back of Dorf, continually putting pressure on the back, neck and shoulder of Dorf>

Moxie: Who’s nothing now?!

<Dorf’s leg gets under the ropes and Moxie is forced to release the amalgamation of a submission move off Dorf. Moxie raises his hand and gets cheers for the ingenuity, but boos after he laughs and kicks at Dorf’s back>

<Moxie pulls Dorf up, and throws him into the ropes, but immediately follows him, hitting a clothesline, sending both men to the outside. They both slowly get up, but Moxie is the first. Moxie grabs Dorf, who knocks Moxie’s hands away and hits a right to Moxie’s face. He kicks Moxie in the gut, and nearly takes Moxie’s head off with a vicious clothesline. He pulls Moxie up again, and throws him towards the apron. Moxie lies along the apron, clutching his back, and Dorf pushes Moxie against the apron and hits another massive chop>

Crowd: WOOOO!!!!!!

<Moxie is reeling again, and Dorf pulls Moxie over towards the announce table…>

JR: Oh no…get away!

Carl: Get him away from here!!

<Dorf pulls all the TV gear out of the table, and rolls moxie on the table. Moxie is on his hands and knees on the table and Dorf climbs up, pulling Moxie up. Dorf looks like he might be setting Moxie up for a DDT…>

JR: No! No! Don’t do it Dorf!!!

<Dorf gives the camera man a thumbs up, and nods to the crowd>

<He instead pulls Moxie up in a vertical suplex…and down…>

Carl: Oh my gooses!!!

JR: BAH GAWD HE’S KILLED HIM!!! MOUNT MORGAN DROP THROUGH THE TABLE!


<The ref immediately checks on Moxie as Dorf gets up. The ref continually checks on Moxie, as Dorf slides into the ring, holding his hands up in the air, getting immense cheers from the crowd>

<Out of nowhere, 2 hands wrap around Dorf, and someone runs in… delivering an Oregotokarire!>

Carl: What was that?!

JR: That’s the Nyrds! Joel and Mike! Delivering an Oregotokarire, or a German Suplex/STO combo!

<The Nyrds exited as quickly as they could, and Dorf is laid out.>

<Moxie is slowly able to get up, and slides into the ring. He pulls an arm over Dorf, and slowly gets up. Dorf slowly gets up as well, and they both meet in the middle of the ring. Dorf goes for a right punch, he misses, as Moxie ducks and hits a neckbreaker. Moxie pulls Dorf up, and kicks him in the gut, and grabs his left shoulder, spinning, dropping Dorf on his stomach. Moxie grabs at his own back, but then shakes it off and pulls Dorf’s head up, delivering 5 right hand punches to the temple of Dorf. Moxie looks up to the crowd and nods. He turns Dorf over, and moves over to the right rope. He climbs out of the ring and stands on the apron. He jumps up onto the top rope, and drops a leg over the neck and head of Dorf. He goes for a pin>

1…2… and no.

<Moxie shakes his head and pulls Dorf up again. He slaps him across the face and grams his left arm, he twists it around, and hits a shoulder armbreaker, and Dorf howls in pain, and grabs his shoulder. Moxie bounces off the opposite ropes and hits a chop block to the knee, taking Dorf down.>

<Moxie pulls Dorf up, who knocks Moxie’s hands away and hits a DDT. Dorf recovers and pulls Moxie up, throwing him into the ropes. Dorf bends over and hits Moxie with a Samoan drop. Dorf kicks Moxie a few times, and then slaps his chest, starting to hulk up.>

<The crowd is starting to warm up to Dorf, and Dorf crosses his arms and waves them away>

Dorf: IT’S OVER!

<Dorf pulls Moxie up, and hits a…>

JR: DORF BOTTOM! DORF BOTTOM!!

<Dorf rolls over and pins Moxie>

1…2…. But no, Moxie gets his shoulder up!

<Dorf is mad, and kicks Moxie’s back. He pulls Moxie up and throws him into the corner. Dorf pulls himself up to the top rope, and pulls Moxie to the second.>

JR: Looks like he’s setting Moxie up for the AbDorftion!

<Dorf holds Moxie up, and looks like he’s ready for the AbDorftion, but Moxie hits him with a few rights to the ribs, and then one to the face. Moxie then hops up to the top from the middle and launches Dorf into the middle of the ring with a Frankensteiner!>

<Both men are tired and the ref lets them know they have 15 minutes left.>

<Moxie gets up, holding onto the ropes in the corner, and Dorf is laying there, holding onto his neck. Moxie slowly makes his way over towards Dorf. He slowly pulls Dorf up, but Dorf hits a right, Moxie shakes it off… Dorf hits another, and Moxie shakes it off again…>

Moxie: C’mon… you female anatomy!

<Dorf punches Moxie again, and then again. Moxie staggers a bit, and Dorf hits a left hook, as Moxie reels back even more. Dorf hits one more right jab, and goes for another, but Moxie ducks, turns Dorf around and hits his “Quick Fix” DDT. Moxie goes for a quick cover…>

1…2… and Dorf kicks out.

<Moxie shakes his head no, and stomps on the head of Dorf. Moxie pulls Dorf up and throws him across the ring against the ropes. Dorf goes for a clothesline, but Moxie ducks, and locks in a sleeper. Moxie braces his legs and hits an overhead sleeper suplex!>

<Dorf gets dropped on his head, and Moxie kips back up, and pulls Dorf over towards the corner. He climbs to the top rope quickly, and rolls his fingers>

JR: Moxie up top!!

450 SPLASH!!

1….2… and Dorf kicks out again!

<Moxie is angry, and he pulls Dorf up again, he throws him into the ropes, and Moxie attempts a clothesline, but misses, as Dorf ducks, and hits a clothesline on Moxie… Dorf pulls Moxie up, kicks him in the back, and hits a DORF-PLEX!>

1….. … ??

<The bell rings, as Dorf gets off of Moxie, and raises his hands...>

Fink: Ladies and Gentleman… The winner… by time out… and still, your E W T….

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOOOOO

<Rampant boos go throughout the arena, and the Fink stops and looks around.

Crowd: FIVE MORE MIN-UTES!! <clap clap clap clap clap>…. FIVE MORE MIN-UTES!! <clap clap clap clap clap>

JR: Well I’ll be damned! The fans are not happy and neither am I!

<Dorf is mad, and grabs the Microphone>

Dorf: Know your soul! <breathing heavy> and shut your trap! Now we’ve been doin this s*** all d*** night! I’m not done yet!
<Dorf turns and gives the microphone to the ref, and turns into a Seer’s Spear from Moxie! Dorf barrels back into turnbuckle, but so does the ref! The ref falls out of the>

<Moxie sees the ref out, and Dorf is laying on his back, out cold. Moxie looks out to the crowd, who are still cheering for 5 more minutes. Moxie stands in the middle of the ring and points out to the crowd, and points up. The lights flicker, and the Toomi-Tron goes to snow, Grey and blue lights go on and off and the crowd hushes…>

JR: What the Hell is this?!

Carl: Oh my gooses….




















<Coming from above, a CELL drops down… slowly as the crowd is dead silent, and Moxie motions it down…>

<The cell drops all the way down and Moxie out a lock from his pants pocket, and he goes to the door. And locks it.>

JR: Moxie’s locked Dorf and himself in the cell!

Carl: Oh no… don’t do it!

<Moxie climbs back into the ring and pulls Dorf up and into the turnbuckle. He unleashes numerous rights and lefts, and kicks Dorf’s stomach. Moxie rolls out to the outside of the ring, and pulls on Dorf’s leg, dropping him on his face, and pulling him out. Moxie throws Dorf into the cell and rubs his face against the cell. He pulls away and with closed fists, hits Dorf’s temple repeatedly over and over, until he’s on the ground>

<Numerous EWT referees and officials run out to the cell, trying to open the door from the outside, the crowd is quiet, astonished…>

<Moxie pulls Dorf up and throws him into the door of the cell, knocking all the referees and officials down. Moxie takes the key out and opens the door, pulling Dorf along with him. Moxie kicks some of the officials and referees while they’re down>

JR: What the hell is Moxie doing!? This is insane!

<Moxie grabs a Microphone, and stuffs it in his pocket, the microphone end sticking out…Moxie pulls Dorf up, and throws him into the Cell and starts climbing to the top of the cell, pulling and wrenching at Dorf, pulling him up with him as well. Moxie is able to pull the bleeding Dorf up to the top of the cell, and he pulls him up to the center. Moxie pulls the Microphone out of his pocket and drops it on the cell top. He pulls Dorf up, kicks him in the gut…>

JR: OH MAH GAWD! Don’t do it Mox! Don’t Do it!!

Carl: Oh no… HOLY!

<Moxie pulls Dorf up, and hits him with The Oracle on the top of the Cell!!>

<The crowd falls silent, and Moxie stands up over the lifeless body of Dorf. He picks up the Microphone.>

Moxie: <breathing heavy> I told you… I F***ing TOLD YOU! You all wanted 5 more minutes… and Dorf was right… I’M…. NOT… DONE… YET!

<Moxie stands over Dorf, and raises his arms horizontally and leans his head back. The crowd is deathly silent…>







Drunk Guy: YOU SUCK, MOXIE!!!

<The crowd erupts with a chorus of BOOS and the rabid EWT Fans throw trash and chairs and ANYTHING they can find, as we fade out.>

Copyright EWT 2005
All Rights Reserved