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Post by Banned Member on Sept 12, 2006 16:56:02 GMT -5
*The Barbra Walters theme plays, and then a voice over can be heard.*
VO: He is one of the most brutal men in the pro wrestling scene, but yet he has a side that is rarely seen. Tonight Barbra Walters talks to the EWTs Mercenary, and now heres Barbra Walters.
BW: Hello tonight I'm here to have a sit down interview with a man most people will not know. That is unless you like watching brutal wrestling action each week on the EWT or one of their monthly pay Per Views. My guest is the Mercenary.
*Barbra turns, and faces Merc who is dressed in a suit.*
BW: Now Merc tell me why you got into a such a violent profession?
Merc: Well Babs it's really quite simple I love to hurt people. Ever since I was a school yard kid until now.
BW: Interesting. Now tell me how did you get involved in the EWT?
Merc: I saw an ad for tryouts, and well the rest is history.
BW: I see. Now can you tell us about your childhood some?
Merc: My mother was never around so that just left my dad to take care of two very active boys, and he tried his hardest to teach us right,and wrong, but when he passed away when I was thirteen it was really hard on me, and my bro.
BW: I bet. Now tell me what inspired you to get into wrestling?
Merc: Well Babs I've been watching wrestling since I was a kid, and guys like Hogan, and Stone Cold. Well they inspired me to become the toughest bad ass around.
BW: But, I've seen you in some pretty bloody matches. Can you explain that?
*Merc laughs*
Merc: Ya Foley inspired me too.
BW: Now tell me about your early EWT days Merc.
Merc: Whats there to tell. I was almost fired several times, and I was a big ego maniac.
BW: So what happened?
Merc: Well I brought in Trish Stratus, and even then I was making a fool out of myself.
Bw: Oh yes the dream sequence!
*Merc glares for a sec.*
Merc: We won't talk about that.
BW: Ok Merc explain what happened between you, and Trish?
*Merc face turns white, and Merc gets this big frown on his face.*
Merc: Well Babs lets just say I screwed up. Like I always do with woman. I freaking turned her towards being a lesbian, and now well shes getting married.
BW: And, how does that make you feel?
Merc: In all honesty Babs. It hurts. It's like someone took a knife, and jabbed it in my heart over, and over again.
*Merc wipes his eye for a sec.*
BW: Heres a tissue?
*Merc slaps Babs hand away.*
Merc: Do you know I tore up her contract with me?
BW: Why yes I saw that.
Merc: Well I didn't it was just some stupid photocopy, but I just force her back. It's not fair to her, but for her to be so cold cold, and emotionless. Thats not the Trish I know. Something is wrong, but that may be paranoia.
BW: So true. Now Merc before we go a little word association.
Merc: Ok.
BW: Spazz?
Merc: A great champion who has yet to feel my wrath.
BW: The Ragnals?
Merc: Wish they stop ducking me, and meet me in the ring.
BW: JZ?
Merc: My greatest foe.
BW: Toom E Dangerously?
Merc: Good Booker. When he wants to be.
BW: Chrysta?
Merc: Brain Washer.
BW: Ape?
Merc: A coward, and I know he is faking that whole cripple act.
BW: Bret Michaels?
Merc: A poor excuse of a champion. Only holding my belt for now.
BW: Crauswell?
Merc: The guy who wants a belt, and thinks he can skip over me. A guy who has busted his ass here for the last few months. I think he needs to go back to the rest home with Ape.
BW: Outlaw?
Merc: Dead for now.
BW: Well thank you Merc, and thank you all for watching. Until next time. I'm Barbara Walters.
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Post by teamireland on Sept 12, 2006 17:57:58 GMT -5
Toni "The Garc" Garcya: The following six-man tag-team contest is scheduled for one fall. *That Rocked-up version of "Amhrán na bhFiann" plays over the EWT sound system as Team Ireland make their way to the ring. They are clearly pleased with themselves following their attack on The Nyrds. Coach O'Hare, as always, is waving a Hurley with an Irish Tricolour attached to it. All four men stop about halfway down the ramp and raise their arms in the air as their green, white & gold pyro goes off behind them.* Garcya: Introducing first, making their way to the ring being accompanied by Coach O'Hare, at a combined weight of 605lbs, proudly representing their home country of Ireland, Sean McCann, Liam O'Neill & Aidan Donnelly...TEAM IRELAND!
*"Bad Street, USA" begins playing as the Fabulous Freebirds appear on the stage to a massive pop. Michael Hayes begins moonwalking his way across the stage & the crowd goes crazy.* Garcya: And their opponents, from Bad Street, USA, at a combined weight of 769lbs, Buddy Jack Roberts, Terry "Bam Bam" Gordy & Michael "P.S." Hayes...THE FABULOUS FREEBIRDS!
*The Freebirds continue their march towards the ring as Team Ireland try not to look intimidated by the team that clearly outweigh them by over 150lbs!*
*O'Hare again forgoes his usual spiel, much to the crowds relief and the match is on. Roberts & McCann to start. Even though both are the lightest men on their teams, Roberts still has quite a considerable size advantage over McCann. McCann, however, uses his speed to his advantage, ducking & dodging as Roberts attempts his old-school grappling approach. Eventually, McCann unleashes a dropsault to the chest of Roberts, taking the old man down. McCann looks very pleased with himself & flashes a smile towards his team-mates & coach before returning his thoughts to the match. Unfortuantely for McCann, that pause gave Roberts enough time to make the tag to Terry "Bam Bam" Gordy. McCann nearly trips over his own feet in his haste to make it to his own corner. He slaps Aidan Donnelly on the shoulder. Donnelly gives McCann a "Why me?" look & tentatively steps in between the ropes, nearly backing out again when Gordy makes a move towards him.*
*Donnelly, unsure of how to handle a guy like Gordy, raises his arms up, asking Gordy for a test of strength.* Nick Russ: Is he serious? Aidan Donnelly is going for a test of strength against Terry Gordy? Jerome "The Lord" East: Don't doubt Donnelly, Nick. He may be small, but he's as strong as an ox. *Gordy sends Aidan to his knees shortly after locking up.* Russ: You were saying Jerome? East: Obviously Gordy caught Donnelly off guard. You know what the Freebirds are like, he probably low-blowed him or something.
*Gordy releases his grip on Donnelly's hands & starts chuckling to himself. Donnelly, while on the ground, sweeps Gordy's legs out from under him, bringing the big guy down. Donnelly then begins stomping away at Gordy's legs. Twisting them round & dropping elbows on his knees. He continues kicking Gordy's legs until he tags in Liam.*
*Liam continues to apply the pressure to Gordy's already weakened knees by leaping from the second rope & dropping an elbow right onto the left knee. He scales the ropes again delivers a curb stomp to the same knee. Once more, he climbs the ropes, but as he leaps off, Gordy gets his foot up & it strikes Liam firmly on the chin. Gordy begins crawling back to his own corner & just as Liam makes a tag to Aidan, Gordy manages to tag in Michael Hayes.*
*Hayes is well ready for a fight & Aidan immediately backs off, tagging in Liam again. Liam, very pissed off, gets in the ring & attempts to take down Hayes. Only to see Chris Evans leap into the ring from atop the post with Coach O'Hare's prized hurley in hand. A quick glance to the outside confirms that O'Hare was knocked out by Evans. The hurley hits Liam square on the head & he's out cold.*
DING-DING-DING
*Team Ireland have won by DQ, but the Freebirds don't care as they leave the ring to discuss their plans for the evening, no doubt involving going to bed early with a warm glass of milk. Evans continues swinging at the other members of Team Ireland before Donnelly wrenches the hurley from his hands & McCann nails him with a Donegal Drop.
The Nyrds appear on the ramp, still suffering from earlier, but Team Ireland quickly make their escape by the side of the ramp, carrying O'Hare & O'Neill backstage while The Nyrds go to the ring to check on Evans, who sits up in an absolute rage.*
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Post by Mystery on Sept 12, 2006 20:28:27 GMT -5
*The backyard of a beat up old house. In it sits a wrestling ring. In the background is a swingset. Sitting in the middle of the ring is the woman we all know & love...Mystery.*
This used to be my playground (used to be) This used to be my childhood dream This used to be the place I ran to Whenever I was in need Of a friend Why did it have to end And why do they always say
Don't look back Keep your head held high Don't ask them why Because life is short And before you know You're feeling old And your heart is breaking Don't hold on to the past Well that's too much to ask
Live and learn Well the years they flew And we never knew We were foolish then We would never tire And that little fire Is still alive in me It will never go away Can't say goodbye to yesterday (can't say goodbye)
This is it mommy. This is where I grew up. Where I was raised...in the backyard.
You hurt me mommy. You hurt me with a chair mommy. But now mommy, now I am going to hurt you at my own game. At my old ways.
There will be no rules mommy. There will be no boundaries mommy. And I want it to happen my way mommy.
Can you handle it? Can you handle stepping into my world mommy? Are you afraid? Are you afraid of me?
You hurt me mommy. With a chair. And I liked it. I liked it alot mommy.
*Mystery gets up & walks out of the ring. She heads over to the swingset, where she sits on a swing & starts swinging.*
I'm home mommy. I'm home. Do you want to come to my home? Do you want to see where I lived?
No regrets But I wish that you Were here with me Well then there's hope yet I can see your face In our secret place You're not just a memory Say goodbye to yesterday (the dream) Those are words I'll never say (I'll never say)
This used to be my playground (used to be) This used to be our pride and joy This used to be the place we ran to That no one in the world could dare destroy
This used to be our playground (used to be) This used to be our childhood dream This used to be the place we ran to I wish you were standing here with me
This used to be our playground (used to be) This used to be our great escape This used to be the place we ran to This used to be our secret hiding place
This used to be our playground (used to be) This used to be our childhood dream This used to be the place we ran to The best things in life are always free Wishing you were here with me
*Fade to a picture of Dr. Vivian Anemone with the Sunshine Squad.*
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Spyke the Pacers Fan
El Dandy
Still hates himself for missing the last episode of Murder She Wrote
Go Indiana!
Posts: 8,061
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Post by Spyke the Pacers Fan on Sept 13, 2006 0:35:41 GMT -5
(Spyke Johannson and Queen Rosa are shown backstage watching that last Mystery promo on a monitor. Both stare blankly at the screen, mouths agape.)
Spyke: "Ummmm..."
Rosa: "Errrrr..."
Spyke: "...what the f***?"
Rosa: "I don't know, EWT is messed up lately."
Spyke: "Not as messed up as Rachael."
Rosa: "B**ch got issues."
Spyke: "Well, I'm sure you can get her to accept your challenge, somehow. You might have to do something drastic."
Rosa: "Well, it's only right. I have the rematch clause in the contract, it's just up to her when she wants to defend it against me."
Spyke: "Seems as if Joey Rags didn't ask for a rematch, I would have gladly offered him one. But it seems like he's got some issues right now."
Rosa: "Yeah, but now you got *shudders* Chance Confidence to deal with."
Spyke: "Chance Confidence? CHANCE CONFIDENCE?! C'mon! You say 'You have Chance Confidence to deal with,' like it's a big deal! You know I fought Chance once back in March. I've had tougher times tying my shoe than I did beating Chance. Oh? And that 'Swedish Meatball' comment he made earlier? LAME! Seriously, that's the best he could do?
Rosa: "Well, we are talking about the guy who named his talkshow segment, CHANCE TIME."
Spyke: "Yeah, seriously. But if I have to fight him, it'd be cool if that Great Hugo guy was involved. I'm sure the fans would like that. *Spyke looks into the camera, fans cheer.*"
Rosa: "Spyke! Watch out!"
(Just then, Edge comes out of nowhere and attempts to blast Spyke with a chair, but Spyke dodges just in time! Spyke trips up Edge with a drop toe hold and Edge accidentally lands face-first on the chair! Spyke calls a referee over and attempts a pin! A ref slides onto camera!
1!
2!
RLC kicks Spyke in the face! Rosa immediately tackles RLC and nails her with some rights. Edge and Spyke brawl off-camera. Rosa picks up the chair.
Rosa: "If I do something drastic, maybe she'll accept my challenge..."
Rosa places a chair on RLC stomache, then unfolds another folding chair, and sets it near RLC. Rosa stands on the chair, jumps off of it, and double-stomps onto the chair on RLC's stomache! RLC immediately clenches her stomache in pain! Linda Ragnal approaches the ladies.
Linda: "Wow. I know I have a mach scheduled with RLC, but I wouldn't feel right just stealing a victory like this. I'll take the no-decision. Ref?"
Ref: "Fine with me. Linda Ragnal vs. Rachael Leigh Cook is declared a NO-CONTEST!"
(Just then a loud CRASH! is heard, the camera turns and sees Spyke put a metal trash can on Edge's head. Spyke hits a Jericho-esque bulldog on Edge, still with the trash can on his head. Spyke removes the trashcan and brings Edge back towards the area where they started. Spyke tosses Edge into the Nyrds locker room, where Mike and Joel are seen playing Super Nintendo.)
Mike: "Dammit, every time I'm about to win, someone has to use OUR locker room for a hardcore match!"
Joel: "Yeahhhh, about that... POWWWWW! I WIN! HAHAHAHA!
Mike: "...damn..."
(Meanwhile, Spyke tosses Edge onto a bench, and hits him with a few punches. Spyke locks in a crossface and holds it for a few seconds, doing what he can to keep Edge down.)
Spyke: "Hey guys, got any games I can bash over his head?"
Joel: "Yeah, ummm, just Super Mario All-Stars, and Gunforce. Heidenreich stole most of our SNES games last time he was here.
Spyke: "Hmmm, is that the Super Mario All-Stars with, or without Super Mario World on it?"
Mike: "Ummm, with."
Spyke: "...gimme Gunforce."
(Spyke grabs the copy of Gunforce and bashes it over Edge's head, shattering the game into pieces. Spyke makes a cover.)
1!
2!
3!
(Spyke holds up his title, and looks into the camera)
Spyke: "Hey Chance, come get some. Heh."
(The camera focuses on a bloodied Edge laying face down on the bench, after a few seconds, the Nyrds walk up towards him, picking up the pieces of their broken game.)
Mike: "Dammit, I kinda liked this game."
Joel: "Dude, we bought it for 75 cents at FuncoLand."
Mike: "Ahhh... FuncoLand. I remember when they used to call it that before it became GameStop."
(Joel and Mike reminisce on the good ol' days while Edge still lays behind them. Fade to commercial for Burger King. "If you can prove our BK Stacker sent you to the hospital, then you can save up to 20% on your next Burger King purchase!")
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Post by iwn on Sept 13, 2006 1:02:43 GMT -5
That annoying Numa Numa song starts up as the crowd looks around confused. They soon get angry as Hank Smith heads down to the ring, with a giant " EWT Sucks " sign. He parades it up and down... sweating as he does so. Bringing up the rear is Dinner with a " Toomi licks Iguanas " sign, OOOO with a " I'd have more fun at the Dentist then here " one, and Generic Hoss with a " Dawn with the EWT " one. They start marching around the ring as Smith rolls inside of it, holding his sign high, grabbing a microphone.
Smith: My name is Hank... Smith. A week ago, I formally requested my friends here all be given EWT contracts... and me as well. Unfortunately, Mr... Toomi as he's called completely sidestepped our little request... which pissed me off! Then I got an idea... if I can't have a match in this ring, then nobody will! So how do you like that... Toomi boy?!
The crowd boos as Smith looks quite angry at this.
Smith: You... Moonpies! You've all been brainwashed, following the EWT all around the world, watching their mediocre shows where a midget wrestles a furry! Where a Virgin wrestles a Cowboy! Where... some other guy wrestles.... another guy! I'm telling you, it ain't entertaining one bit!
The crowd boos, clearly disagreeing with him.
Smith: You people have all been drinking Toomi's Kool Aid for way too long... and I'm gonna put a stop to it right here... and right now! I demand that we all receive contracts or we won't leave this ring!
The entire IWN outside all nod as if on cue, the handy dandy EWT Security team walks down towards the ring. Dinner charges and smacks one of them with his paper sign... doing absolutely nadda. He looks a bit scared, backing up and getting tackled to the ground. OOOO pulls out his ballpoint hammer, charging and swinging at another guy, missing completely and falling flat on his face. Generic Hoss finally drops his own poorly made sign, running at them and trying to lift one of them up, struggling... eventually throwing out his back it seems. As he clutches at it, the guard shrugs and gently pushes him over. Smith watches in disbelief once again as his pitiful invasion has been foiled.
Smith: Damn you Toomi... and your stinky security guards! We will not stop until you sign us to a contract!!!
The crowd and security just kinda laugh, the aforementioned guards heading towards the ring. Smith quickly carries his lard ass half way out of the ring, before stopping to catch his breath... giving the guards more than enough time to apprehend and drag him off with his friends. The crowd gives the security time a loud ovation as Smith yells unintelligible obscenities as he's dragged out.
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Sept 13, 2006 14:53:27 GMT -5
*We are backstage in the EWT arena. As we find Spaz chatting to a fan and signing an autograph.*
The crowd roars with approval
*In the background some staff are getting coffee. The young girl thilled at meeting Spaz races off to her mother. Spaz watches for a moment a smile on his face, he lugs the EWT Heavyweight title over his shoulder before he walks away down the corridor. As the camera watches him go it pans back to reveal a man, his face is hidden above the camera frame. He is a tall muscular figure and as the camera rises we see the face of the man. Maelstrom is back in EWT!*
The crowd boos loudly
*Maelstrom watches as Spaz wanders oblivious down the corridor before turning into a room. Maelstroms face is grim as he stares a hole into the back of a man who crossed him in the past. he clenches his fists and nods knowingly about something. But before anything further can be made of this Maelstrom walks off in another direction barging past the camera man.
(The familiar chords of 'Apocalypse Please' play lightly in the background as we fade to commercial)
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Post by respectmeordye3 on Sept 13, 2006 15:29:05 GMT -5
The annoying tune "Time Bomb Town" begins to play as Paul "PyleDryver" Packer marches slowly and painfully down to the ring and grabs a mic.
"Singapore Plain Jane, you had the unmedigated gall to lay your mitts on me!, You must be punished for what you did to me and for not following my commands instantly--therefore I demand that you face me---if you got the courage that is---in a falls count anywhere, hardcore match at EWT's upcoming PPV--Just you and me, one on one, man to man, at Sky High--so howabout it Singapore Plain Jane--you wanna take me on or not?"
'Do You Wanna Be A Hero?" blares through the speakers as Singapore Caine joins Paul in the ring and grabs a mic of his own and faces Paul. "I got four things to say you kid" growls Caine " Number One is the whole bit of referring to me as Singapore Plain Jane--it was probably the lamest attempt at humor I have ever heard, Number Two-the event is not called Sky High, it's called "The Skies the Limit" get it straight you moron,Number three-As four your little challenge-You got yourself a match-let's just hope your better at wrestling than you are at humor--and lastly Number Four.........."
Suddenly he whips his Singapore Cane up and cracks Paul across the head busting him open and sending him to the floor delirious.
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Sept 13, 2006 16:52:27 GMT -5
*After a brief commercial break we are back at ringside and the audience is still pumped up by recent events in EWT. Suddenly from out of the curtain Umaga stumbles out and crashes into the rail barricade. As the crowd looks on Estrada with a microphone rushes out to try and help his client but he is overshadowed by the man who assualted the smaoan. Mr. Big is here and is clearly not too happy.*
The crowd cheers for his return, especially as Curly Long is no where in sight!
*Mr. Big shoves Armando Alejandro Estrada to one side as he and Umaga trade punishing blows along the gangway to the ring. Mr. Big begins to dominate and manages to catch Umaga in the jaw with a boot sending the samoan bulldozer into the ring. Mr. Big follows as Estrada stumbles after them.*
The crowd is really into this as two monsters slug it out.
*Mr. Big gets the advanyage and manages to slam Umaga into the canvas. The 7ft 3" giant is firmly in control of this brawl and runs into the ropes. Estrada has grabbed his foot! Mr. Big distracted by the sneaky cuban manager runs straight into a smaoan drop! Mr. Big down but not outs gets up to a sitting position. Umaga at the command of Estrada prepares for the Samoan Spike. Mr. Big could be in trouble? Umaga nails the Smaoan Spike home! but Mr. Big just gets up! He has shrugged off the finishing manouver as if it was nothing!*
A huge "He's Hardcore!" chant soon filters around the stadium.
*Umaga is in shock! Mr. Big stands to his full height towering over the samoan, he grins and stretches his huge neck muscles. Umaga in a state of disbelief does nothing to avoid the one-handed chokehold that Big applies. HFD!!! Mr. Big stands over the destroyed samoan like an avatar of power. Estrada sneaks under the ropes with a chair, he swings and cracks it across Big's back. Mr. Big turns having barely felt it. Estrad tries to beg forgiveness from the man mountain as he smashes the chair out of Estrada's grip. He then takes the microphone*
MR. BIG: Five weeks is a long time Estrada. In those weeks I found out who was responsible for kidnapping my boss and friend Curly Long. Do you know where it led me?
*Estrada shakes his head in fear*
MR. BIG: It led me to you! You cuban cigar munching bastard! You hired those Smaoan pygmies to assault and kidnap Curly Long! Whilst your fatass dumptruck of a man here was the driver! What were you hoping for Estrada? Some fame and glory? An easy way tot the top of EWT? Or maybe you just wanted the world to know that Umaga was unstoppable anywhere! ... Well the unstoppable just met the biggest immovable object in the world! Mr. Big!
*The crowd cheers for Mr. Big*
MR. BIG: Now Estrada its time you faced the one thing that even all your hype and dazzle can not eclipse!
*Mr. Big takes a step forwards, Estrada fear in his eyes turns and tries to get away and runs groin first right into Curly Long! Curly has just entered the ring from underneath it. He has a microphone in hand. Estrada is almost bent double in pain as he looks into the eyes of self-proclaimed main event midget. The crowd Boos and jeers rise up at the appearence of Curly Long*
CURLY LONG: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is The Undeniaaaablly Vile Liiiiittle bastardo Midget King! Curly Long!!
*With that Curly Long hoists Estrada onto his shoulders. CURLY CREAMER!! Estrada now lies unconscious next to Umaga, Curly turns to the crowd. His evil grin for all the world to see*
CURLY LONG: Now that I have dealt with the Cuban Monster Crisis .... Welcome to Curly is EWT!!
*The crowd begins to chant "Die, Curly Die!" at a deafening volume*
CURLY LONG: No, No social rejects! This is a time of life! My life to be precise here in the EWT. I think I may start by going after that Tri-State Title it has a nice ring to it don't you think EWTs Tri-State Champion Curly Long! That's right i'm going to go all the way to the top! and if you ladies know whats good for you I'll be waiting at that peak with more than just a head of steam .. heh heh!
* The crowd of women are disgusted at the vulgar statement*
CURLY LONG: Hey its what women want! ... Long, action-packed and as hard as nails just like me, the Midget King!
*The pair high five to a chorus of boos*
CURLY LONG: C'mon, its not like that washed up disgrace of an EWT superstar Ultimo Chocula is out here giving you grief! I heard he has fallen so low that he would even have to look up to me now! .. heh heh heh ... But alas this speech must come to an end. For you see I have a bevy of beautiful young ladies back in my office. Whilst you the little people only have each other .. ugh what a horrible thought!
As the crowd continues to boo "Moving On Up" begins from the speaker system and Curly hops on Mr. Bigs shoulders as they head to the backstage area. At the top of the gangway Curly & Mr. Big turn to the audience and the music cuts*
CURLY LONG: Remember people, That this message was ... The Long and Hard of It!
*The duo walk behind the curtain to the tune of "Moving on Up" having made a statement of intent on there return to EWT*
(Cut to commercial)
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Post by Superior Dragon on Sept 13, 2006 18:49:03 GMT -5
The Highlanders come out to scottish music as the fans roar with approval as Robbie slides inot the ring and Rory merely wlaks in.
"Mama Said Knock You Out" by LL Cool J hits as Twizted comes out to their old theme song, rocking with the crowd. Twizted point to a section of the crowd, and the camera zooms in to show American Saint in the crowd holding a steel chair! AmSaint whacks himself with the chair before holding the title in the air and walks down the aisle. As soon as AmSaint gets to the front row, Twizted enters the ring and blasts the unsuspecting Highlanders with a double Throw Back to start the match.
-----Ding Ding Ding!-----
AmSaint hops the barricade and slides in as Robbie and Rory start to get up. AmSaint and Twizted look at each toher before hitting a stereo clothesline to both men, knocking them back down. AmSaint picks Rory up and holds him in the air before Twizted catches Rory with a spin kick as AmSaint sends him down. Robbie gets up and goes for a clothesline, but Twizted ducks and holds him for a russian leg sweep. AmSaint catches Robbie with a big boot as Twizted sends Robbie down. Twizted and AmSaint merely look at each other before grabbing Rory by the hair. AmSaint lifts him up for a military press, but runs to the ropes and sends him out to the crowd!! Rory his concrete as Twizted and AmSaint turn their attention to Robbie. AmSaint and Twizted lift him high and hit the Reality Check!! Twizted quickly rolls over and locks in the Cattle Mutilation as AmSaint grabs the legs and.....XSCAPE THIS!!! Robbie tries to hold on, but after 30 seconds is forced to tap.
----Ding Ding Ding-----
Tony Chimel: Here are your-
Twizted: I'll take that thank you. Now, to all of our fans, the ones we entertained, we have something to say.
AmSaint: It's been a wacky ride, but next week, Twizted and I are leaving EWT.
Twizted: Don't get us wrong. We'd like to stay, but we have jobs over at WPW, and, well, we have to take it.
AmSaint: So, next week, boo us or cheer for us, but damn it if you don't love us.
"Mama Siad Knock You Out" hits as The Idolz leave to a mixed reaction.
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Sept 14, 2006 1:13:57 GMT -5
(Backstage in his dressing room is Ultimo, who's still wearing the red Adidas sweat pants from last week and he's got the hood from his sweatshirt pulled over his head with the drawstrings pulled and tied so you can't see his face, kinda like Kenny from South Park but you can't see his eyes. He's slouching on the couch with his arms folded when the polka dotted wonder bursts on the scene for another interview.)
Dusty: "Hey there, folks! This is the AmmmmmmmmmmmericanDreamDuthtyRhodeth! Looky here! That sly devil Ul-Tee-Mo done went back to that pay windah last week by beating that Jerry Lawler! He nailed him with the Bionic Elbow and got the three count! Yethir, he deed!"
UC: (voice kinda muffled from the sweatshirt) "He got counted out you bloated sea cow! And I've never hit anyone with the Bionic Elbow in my life!"
Dusty: "But that Ul-Tee-Mo, he the keeng again! He won that crown back, daddy! He showed that Lawler who really is the keeng around here, I'm tellin' you!"
(UC makes the jack off motion)
Dusty: "Now that he back on that winnin' track he got a lotta think about! Mmm-hmm! Because comin' up he goin' to be in one heckavu fight! That right! Live! From the Omni in Atlanta, G.A.! He goin' to be at Skies The Limit!"
UC: "It's not going to be in Atlanta! We've never done anything in Atlanta!"
Dusty: "Hoo! On one side he got that Billy Ubermark! He done gave Ul-Tee-Mo a good clubberin' last time they hook up! Will Ul-Tee-Mo get his revenge? And on the other side he got that Rock Lee! He a ninja now! And they goin' to be wrasslin' for that OX Division Chammion-chip! It goin' to be a big one! Ul-Tee-Mo! How you gonna go at those boys?"
(UC slowly reaches up and unties the draw string to his sweatshirt and pulls the hood down. He's unshaven and his hair is sticking out all over the place. He looks like he hasn't slept in two weeks. UC looks up at Dusty with a rather apathetic look on his face.)
UC: "Don't you find it odd that I, the guy who's been shoved down the card further than Steve Lombardi, will compete in a PPV, where my win/loss record is balls, for a title that I'm not a contender for?"
Dusty: "...................................................no?"
UC: "Of course not. And quite frankly, I could care less. We all know that all I'm gonna do is *BEEP!* it up, as always, and cost myself the match. I mean, I had Billy beat at Crap-a-hoozitz, no doubt about it, and what happens? I slip on the turnbuckles and the next thing I know my spine is snapped in half and my lungs are blasted into the fifth row. So now I get Billy again and as if that doesn't suck enough I also have to think about............wait.........who's the other guy?"
Dusty: "That would be Rock Lee!"
UC: "Rock Lee? Who the *BEEP!* is Rock Lee? I thought the champion was Koala or Kola or Quazar or something........I don't know what the hell is going on with that! All I know is that with my luck I'll probably have the perfect opportunity to win the title only to......I don't know.......slip on a banana peel or something."
Dusty: "Banana! Ooo! Where? I hungry! I like me a banana! They tasty!"
UC: "Yeah, I'll give you a banana. I'll banana you're face so hard........(mumbles)"
Dusty: "So when you win that chammion-chip, you gonna have a lotta dawgs comin' after you! Yethir! They gonna be after that OX Title! You got a lotta guys lookin' fer you, Jack! What about that Sexthy Dyna-Mo? He slick! He suave! He done and hooked up with your former girl, you unnerstand! He gonna come after you when you have that title! You gotta be ready for heem!"
UC: "Oh yeah, Dyno-mutt. I heard Terri got with him. That figures. Girls on the rebound always hook up with the lamest guys. (thinks for a moment) How do you make out with someone wearing a mask? The logistics on that are just mind boggling."
Dusty: "He not the only one! No! What about that Curly Long! He the Midget Keeng! You also a keeng!"
UC: "Fortheluvva.........I'm not the king! I don't care! I give up!"
Dusty: "But that Curly! He nasty! You can't trust them short people! He say you gotta catch up to heem! He say you look up to heem now, you unnerstand! He say a lotta bad thangs about you! He gonna come after your OX Division Chammion-chip too!"
UC: "What OX Division Championship? I'm not, and probably won't be, the frig............hold it. Did you just say that I have to catch up to Short Stuff?"
Dusty: "In a manner of speakin', I do believe that what he say."
UC: "I'm ranked lower than a guy who hasn't been in on the active roster in two months? What the *BEEP!* is up with that? Man, this is too much! Dammit!"
(With that UC closes up his hood, ties it up, and buries his head underneath the sofa cushions. Dusty, unfazed, wraps things up.)
Dusty: "Lookit dat! Ul-Tee-Mo, he gettin' ready! He restin' up for all them title defenses he be havin' once he take that OX Division Chammion-chip from that Billy and that Rock! He meditatin'! He in the zone! He one bad mamma jamma, you unnerstand! Ha! Ha! Ha! I love it! I love it! This here the Dream! Comin' atcha!"
(Dusty's "American Dream" song comes on and he gets up and starts dancing. UC, head still buried in the sofa, lets out a slow groan that no body pays any attention to.)
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Sept 14, 2006 10:41:20 GMT -5
*”High Voltage” plays as Mike Ragnal enters the arena to the crowd’s cheers, with a mic in one hand, and a clipboard with a piece of paper attached to it in the other. Mike heads down the ring with a mission, and as he slides into the ring, he raises his fist into the air, and speaks into the mic.*
MIKE: Before we begin…I have a question for you…WHAT…is my name?
Crowd: RAGNAL!
MIKE: What’s my name?!
Crowd: RAGNAL!
MIKE: That’s right! My name…is MIKE! RAGNAL!
*The crowd cheers him on, chanting “Ragnal! Ragnal!” repeatedly.*
MIKE: And that name feels cheated out of life right now. I lost the EWT Tri-State title, which I fought HARD for, first at Crapamania 3, then a few days later in a TLC match, and I proved that I EARNED that belt!
But it seemed a few people thought otherwise. Bret kept gunning for my title, and Toom E…for whatever reason, wanted the belt off my waist. Pretty ironic, since he put me in my first title match FOR the Tri-State belt, yanno?
*The crowd cheers on again, this time chanting “You got screwed!”
MIKE: Thank you. And you know what, Joe’s got no blame in this. Yes, I’ll admit, he DID hit me in the face with a chair…and it hurt…and it DID cost me the title…but Joe’s not the one with the Tri-State strap! Bret Michaels is! And me…I was smart enough to make sure I get a return match as soon as possible. So at Skies the Limit, it’s gonna-
*Mike is cut off by “Sexy Guy” as Bret Michaels and Cherry walk in to the crowd’s boos, Bret holding the Tri-State title in his hands. Cherry hands Bret a mic, and he begins to speak.*
BRET: Now just hold on a minute, HOLD ON a minute! Did I hear right that you think you deserve a rematch? Oh, sure, you have it written into a contract, yeah, whatever. Just because you DEMAND a rematch, doesn’t mean I should GIVE you a rematch! Heck, you know, he did say that I was just keeping “his” title warm a few days-
MIKE: You so much as CONSIDER Merc for a match, I’m going to come right down there, AND BEAT YOU SO HARD YOU WON’T EVEN MAKE IT TO THE PPV!
*The crowd goes into an UPROAR, standing and cheering Mike for his statement.*
MIKE: But yes, Bret, maybe you SHOULD consider a new #1 contender, but who’s left? Everyone else has a match set, and they all know the for them…the Skies the Limit. But for you and me, Bret…we’re going the opposite way. We’re going DOWN!
*The crowd cheers on.*
MIKE: You and I are going STRAIGHT. TO. HELL!
*Bret and Cherry grow worried by Mike’s statements, Bret possibly knowing what he’s talking about.*
MIKE: You…Me…at the Skies the Limit…the Tri-State title will be on the line…inside the HELL IN A CELL!
*The crowd cheers, and Bret looks mighty pissed at this call of action. Cherry tries to calm him down as she consults him into the back, and Mike makes a belt gesture around his waist as "High Voltage" plays throughout the arena.*
*Fade out*
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Post by Banned Member on Sept 14, 2006 11:04:38 GMT -5
*Merc is looking over the card for the PPV.*
Merc: Well it seems me, and Toom are going to be very high up, and there will be only one way down, and that is when Toom falls thirty feet to his deafeat!
*Merc laughs a little, but then gets all serious.*
Merc: And after I'm done with you Toom. I'm coming for my Tri State title. Regradless of who is wearing it!
*Merc walks off.*
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Post by Poker Joker on Sept 14, 2006 12:01:39 GMT -5
(The scene opens up in the back room of the E.W.T. Arena. Mean Gene Okerlund is standing in the back wearing his traditional suit-and-tie appearal. He begins his interview in typical Mean Gene fashion.)
MEAN GENE: Good evening, wrestling fans! Mean Gene Okerlund here, and what a segment we have for you! The next E.W.T. Pay-Per-View, “The Sky’s The Limit,” is just around the corner, and what a great event its going to be. Among the participants on this card will be this man who is joining me now, Billy “The Virgin” Ubermark! Billy, c’mon in here.
(Billy Ubermark enters the picture. He is wearing his street clothes, including his “Fight Virgin Discrimination” t-shirt. He has a sour look on his face as moves in so Mean Gene can conduct his interview.)
MEAN GENE: Now Billy, we haven’t heard much from you recently after your World Title match went sour, but you must be excited about “The Sky’s The Limit” where you will be in a Triple Threat Match for the OX Division Title against both the current champion Rock Lee and your former tag-team partner, Ultimo Chocula.
(Billy looks at Mean Gene. He seems almost insulted by the comment.)
BU: Excited? Excited about what?! Competing for some middle-tier championship belt? Screw that!
(Mean Gene Okerlund is taken back with surprise by Billy’s comment.)
MEAN GENE: Screw that?! Billy, this is the OX Division Championship!
BU: Big deal! The OX Division Championship can go to hell, and so can everyone else who’s held it! Do you know what I was doing about a week ago?
MEAN GENE: Well, uh… you were wrestling Spaz for the World Championship.
(Billy pokes Mean Gene in the chest as he talks)
BU: THAT’S RIGHT!
(Billy stops poking Mean Gene, who is now clearly frazzled by what he’s hearing.)
MEAN GENE: But, Billy, what does that have to do with the OX Championship?
BU (becoming angry): What does it have to do with it?! A week ago, I was facing Spaz for the grand prize! The top title! The E.W.T. World Championship! Not only that, but I was BEATING him in that match! I was proving to the world that everything I’ve said about Spaz being a second-rate champ who can’t handle real competition was true! I was on top of the world, and I was ready to grab that brass ring off the hook and put it on my finger where it belonged! And then, suddenly, just as I was about to give the most over-rated Champion in the history of this business the Virgin Sacrafice…. BLAMMO!…. The lights went out, I got struck from behind, and the match ended in a no contest! Just like that, the World Title Match I had deserved was over, and I hadn’t even been beaten by anyone! I SHOULD be walking into “The Sky’s The Limit” as the newly crowned E.W.T. Champion! Everybody knows it!
MEAN GENE: Fair enough, Billy, but you didn’t win the match, so you’re not the champion.
BU: Exactly! But I didn’t LOSE that match, either! Did I?
MEAN GENE: No….
BU: Exactly! So the only FAIR thing to do would be to give me the rematch at “The Sky’s The Limit” for the World Championship, right? I mean, that seems logical considering how my last title match went, right? WRONG! Apparently, SOMEBODY doesn’t think so, and instead I get shoved into this petty match for a second-rate title against two chumps who don’t deserve to be in the same arena as me, much less the same ring!
MEAN GENE: But…. But the OX Division Title.
(Billy spits on the ground!)
BU: THAT’S what I think of the OX Division Title! I deserve BETTER than to be fighting two clowns for the OX Division Title. But do you know WHY I’m fighting for the OX Championship, Mean Gene?
MEAN GENE (shrugging his shoulders): Well, I guess you’re gonna tell us.
BU: Its because Spaz made sure I got put in that match!
MEAN GENE (surprised): SPAZ?!
BU: That’s right! Spaz! I have no doubt that he was embarassed by how badly a VIRGIN, somebody he looks down upon, showed him up, last week. And he wanted to make damn good and sure that something like that didn’t happen again, so when he heard about his mystery opponent, he made sure that the booking committee put me in this crock of s*** match to make sure that I wouldn’t be the guy he’d have to face! There are only two things Spaz cares about: One is keeping his title, and the other is not losing it to a VIRGIN! This second-rate title match is nothing more than a thinly vieled case of Virgin Discrimination on the part of Spaz as he tries to protect his reputation and his pride.
MEAN GENE (rolling his eyes): OK! Billy Ubermark, you have got to be kidding me with all these accusations! Spaz is a fighting champion…
(Billy cuts Mean Gene off at the end of his sentence. His face is starting to turn red.)
BU: “Fighting Champion” my eye! He’s a coward who’s defended his title against a bunch of charletons up until the time he stepped in the ring with me! And when he finally DID get in the ring with me… a REAL top contender for the World Title… a person who actually KNOWS what it means to be a champion… Spaz folded up like steel chair, and showed to the entire world that he wasn’t up to the challenge! And now, to keep from having the same thing happen, again…. to keep from having a VIRGIN show him up for a second time… he’s shoved me into this undercard match to try and duck me! Well, Spaz can’t duck me forever! I’m the man who should be the World Champion, right now! ME! I had Spaz beat, and he got lucky! But the next time he won’t be so lucky! His luck is going to turn around, and he’s going to end up face-to-face with me, again! And when that happens, I garuntee you that Spaz will end up being the sorriest man on the face of the Earth!
(Billy pushes Mean Gene Okerlund aside and walks past him off the screen. Mean Gene takes a moment to collect hmself after Billy leaves.)
MEAN GENE: Well, there you have it! Not quite what we were expecting, but then again, with Billy Ubermark, you never really know what to expect. For E.W.T. Television, I’m Mean Gene Okerlund! We’re going to go to a commercial, but we’ll be right back with more top notch E.W.T. action!
(After he finishes talking, Mean Gene glances off in the direction the Billy just left. He shakes his head as the scene fades to black.)
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Sept 15, 2006 10:17:30 GMT -5
*HBH and Cherry walk up to the match board*
HBH: All right, I got Macho Man this week!
Cherry: Macho Man is a wrestler?
HBH: Only one of the greatest of all time, Cherry. It will be a honor to face him, and an even greater honor to pin him in the middle of the ring.
Cherry: And all this time I knew him only for that rap song he did a while ago. I think it was called "Be a Man".
HBH: Ugh, don't remind me.
Cherry: Anyway, what are you going to do about Mike?
HBH: Mike, Schmike. He thinks he can challenge me for this title in a Hell in a Cell match? Who does he think he is?
Cherry: Well he IS the former Tri-State Champion, and he DOES have a rematch clause in his contract.
HBH: Yeah, well that doesn't mean I have to give one to him. But if HIAC is what he wants, then HIAC is what he'll get. I'll make sure that's one match he will NEVER forget.
*HBH and Cherry walk off as we cut to the next segment*
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Post by Smark4lyfe on Sept 15, 2006 19:43:45 GMT -5
As unfamiliar faces walked past the slightly confused fans, Kevin "Unreal" Storm introduced himself and is acquaintance "Big" Zach Storm. Kevin "Unreal" speaks "Well, well, well we finally in EWT, the home of such great legends..." The fans cheer as they expect a face. "Well guess what! We are the New Era and there is certainly going to be a new era in the tag team division! " The fans boo The New Era out of the ring.
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Post by Smark4lyfe on Sept 15, 2006 23:01:01 GMT -5
This is the day....This is the tiiiime I take back whats mine....... "Our first match will be against some low life team called the Young Stallions... I thought we would fight the tag team champions to start off the new era, do you agree Zach?" "Big" Zach Storm nods. A chant of "You suck" begins to fill the arena "We have to wrestle against the Young Pon- I mean the Young Stallions. If you guys think you even have a chance against us, you must have some wild life disease. I don't even see why we have to wrestle a piece of horse shi-" The Young Stallions run up but The New Era quickly runs out of the ring. The fans cheer as they arrvive. "Don't wet your pants just because you have the opportunity to face us, you should wet your pants because of "Big" Zach Storm or even worse...your face." "That's all you could think of, I heard a seven year old give better insults." says Jimmy Powers. The crowd cheers. "Think what you think but before you know it a new era will face EWT." The New Era exits the arena as the fans boo.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Sept 16, 2006 6:51:34 GMT -5
*Toom E Dangerously is sitting in his office, tons of papers in front of him.*
You people know what? I have had some major decisions to make over the last few days. Decisions that I am very proud of, I might add. Decisions that folks were unaware of me having to make.
You see, for starters...Mike Ragnal wants himself a Hell In the Cell match. Little Mikey Ragnal. Well, let me ask you all something....does he deserve this? No, he doesn't. He doesn't even deserve a rematch like he suggests. But, this match will happen anyways. I have talked long hours on end with HeartBreak Hitman & he has convinced me why this match should happen. So, at Skies the Limit, this match will take place.
But I have also decided on something else. You see, I have decided we need a new face in the tag team division going for the championship. So there is now going to be a #1 Contender's Tag Team Match on this already super card. Nyrds, Team Ireland, my question to you boys is...are you up for it?
And another thing...people have asked me why is Joe One being booked in a match? Well, after looking over his contract, silly me realized he was released without reasonable cause. Especially since his contract had not been fullfilled. You see, I did promise him one pay per view match in his contract. And I am a man of my word. But, it never stated what type of match. And that is why I have put my brain into overdrive & came up with the first ever Pop Culture Attraction Match. You see, Joe One will not be stepping into a wrestling ring. Oh no, he will be stepping onto an airplane that will fly high in the sky. Very fitting due to the name of this pay per view. And he will face "187" Marcus Saxton in his pay per view debut. Pinfalls will count in this match, as all normal wrestling rules will be followed. But see, we here at EWT want to capitalize in the popularity of Snakes On a Plane, which is why I created the Wrestlers On a Plane Match for these 2 gentlemen.
And now this brings me on hand to Mr. Merc. Merc, you & I have never seen eye to eye here. And that is why I have accepted your challenge for the next pay per view. And you & I will square off one on one in a match without the aid of your buddy Renegade. You see, he interferes & he's fired...as well as you. But I have decided to make the odds more interesting. You see, there will be a scaffold in place that night for the tag team championship. I have decided you & I will also use that scaffold for a Scaffold Match. That way, I can watch you fall off the scaffold just like the way your career has fallen right here in EWT...straight to the ground.
And Spaz...last I forget about you. You see, I am ready to allow you the honor of finding out who you shall face on pay per view. The man who shall beat you to become a worthy EWT Champion. A man who is better then you. You see, he was screwed out of his last shot because you cheated & had Gasoline injure him, that way he wouldn't lose the title.
Don't think I know about the deal you & Gasoline had. Gasoline injures Maelstrom, thus getting the title shot. Gasoline lays down for the 1-2-3. You pay him off to remain champion. And this was done because you knew Maelstrom will beat you.
Well come Skies the Limit, Maelstrom will finally get his shot in a one on one 2 out of 3 retrievals Ladder Match. And if any of your Generation Tech boys attempt to prevent Maelstrom from getting his shot just like Gasoline did last time, you will be STRIPPED of the EWT Championship. Am I clear?
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Sajoa Moe
Patti Mayonnaise
Did you get that thing I sent ya?
A man without gimmick.
Posts: 39,683
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Post by Sajoa Moe on Sept 16, 2006 11:26:53 GMT -5
Mean Gene Okerlund is backstage with Great Hugo.
Mean Gene: Great Hugo, you have been granted a title shot for the Toolshed Championship. You and Chance Confidence will both have the opportunity to take the title from Spyke Johansen. Your thoughts?
Great Hugo: Finally, I am granted my opportunity to step into the ring with Chance Confidence. But I am not satisfied with the match itself. Spyke Johansen, I hold no qualms with you, but if you interfere in my mission to remove Chance Confidence from EWT, I will not hesitate to strike you down.
Mean Gene: Even though you lost the Number One Contender match to Chance Confidence in a Barbed Wire match last month at Crap-A-Mania, you were still added to the title match. How do you feel about this turn of good fortune?
Great Hugo: Though I did not earn it, I will honor the decision to include me in this match. I will fight like the proud warrior that I have trained to become, and I will be successful.
Mean Gene: There you have it. Great Hugo, contender to the Toolshed Championship, in only eight days at Skies The Limit.
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Post by Smark4lyfe on Sept 16, 2006 13:22:51 GMT -5
Life is fullllll of gAAames..!! This is the chance.......to take what I deserve...!!!! "You fans are lucky to be watching us.....The starters of the new era...You guys will witness the beginning of a new generation! But some are just a tiny bit luckier and they are the Young Stallions. They have the chance to face us but they have no chance to beat us!""Big" Zach Storm smirks as the fans chant "YOU SUCK!" JR:O' boy is there going to be trouble...." King:You said it JR, hey you know what these young kids remind of?" JR:"The Hardy Boyz?" King:"No, the Hart foundation." JR:"That's a little to much to say about them isn't it, King?" King:"No, the Hart Foundation should be the lucky ones..." JR:"Are you kidding me King?" "Shut you mouth, Jr!" The fans chant "F*** you!" "You know what you are, a piece of shi-" JR:"There they come the Young Stallions!" King:"Great....." "Rip them apart Zach!" King:"A massive clothsine by "Big" Zach to the Young Stallions." JR:"Wait they duck under him and a double back drop to "Big" Zach Storm!" JR:"Where did Kevin go?"
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Post by Marcus "Stylez" Saxton on Sept 16, 2006 17:44:44 GMT -5
"HHHHEEEEEE'SSS SOOOOOOOO WOONDERFFUUUULLLLLL!!! HHHHEEEEEE'SSSSOOOOOOOO WOONDERFFUUUULLLLLL!!! HHHHEEEEEE'SSS MMISSTER WOONDERFFUUUULLLLLL!!!!!"
And on that note, out comes Mr. Wonderfull, swaggering and preportioning like no other can. He walks into the ring and poses for a couple of seconds before getting ready for his match.
"Burn" by Nine Inch Nails hits as the new guy Marcus "Stylez" Saxton comes out to a mix of cheers and boos. He slides in and gives the bird to Wonderfull, pissing him off something holy. He tosses his bandana out into the crowd before tackling Wonderfull to start the match.
The match is officially underway as Saxton ruthelessly attacks poor Wonderfull. Saxton grabs Wonderfull and hits a European Uppercut before sweeping the legs. Saxton runs to the ropes and looks to go for a Lionsault, but switches it at the last minute to a legdrop. Wonderfull is dead to the world as Saxton makles the cut-throat motion, signaling for the end. Saxton picks Wonderfull up and hits the Hangover from Queens!! Saxton manages to hold on to the head and drags him up befoe hitting the 1 8 7!!!1 Saxton pulls the legs up and gets the three as the ref checks on Wondefull. Saxton walks up to the ref and spits on the body of Wonderfull before shouting "Joe One!" and walking to the back as we fade into a commercial.
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