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Post by Poker Joker on Aug 16, 2006 23:29:42 GMT -5
(The scene opens up in the E.W.T. Arena with the fans lining the guardrails and standing on their seats to get a better view of the action. The Announcer steps into the ring and prepares to introduce the next match.)
*ANNOUNCER*: The following match is a special attraction GAUNTLET MATCH! One wrestler will attempt to run through a gauntlet of opponents. Should he defeat all of them, he will be declaired the winner of the match. Introducing first, the challenger who will run the gauntlet....
("Like A Virgin" by Madonna starts playing over the loudspeakers, and the crowd erupts with a chorus of boos. Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark steps out from behind the curtain, wearing his classic yellow-and-green tights and black boots. He makes his way down to the ring with a scowl on his face, barely paying any notice to the fans as he goes his way.)
*ANNOUNCER*: Ladies and gentlemen, introducing first, weighing in at 226 lbs, from St. Paul, Minnesota.... Billy "THE VIRGIN" Ubermark!!!
(Billy slides into the ring under the bottom rope. He gets up and quickly snatches the microphone away from the announcer, who backs away in suprise. The crowd silences their cat-calls towards Billy to hear what he's got to say.)
*BU*: Am I the only person who sees what's wrong with this senerio? Here I am, one of the E.W.T.'s top superstars, and what do I get scheduled for a match? A GAUNTLET MATCH!
(Billy pauses for a second and stares out into the crowd with the angry expression still on his face. The camera cuts quickly to a shot of a sign in the crowd that reads "Handsome Boys Modeling School: Closed For Re-Modeling!" It soon cuts back to Billy, though, as he starts talking again.)
*BU*: How, may I ask, did a person with my glowing list of achievements getting saddled with that match? Well, the answer is pretty simple. There are two reasons for this travesty: The first one is obvious..... VIRGIN DISCRIMINATION!
(The crowd launches into a barrage of booing and insults at Billy's insinuation.)
*BU*: That's right! Its Virgin Discrimination! You see, even though I'm a virgin, I've achieved a lot of success in this company. My record says it all! I was one of the greatest Tri-State Champions of all time! I was one-half of the E.W.T. Tag-Team Champions! AND I'm STILL the hottest young superstar in the E.W.T. today! Not bad for somebody who's continually being looked down upon for his sexual status. Combine that with the fact that I seem to be only getting better as the days go by, and you can bet your bottom dollar that this has probably made a few people feel pretty threatened. Especially those who don't want to see a Virgin, like myself, succede. Therefore, I'm sure that when they got wind of the idea for this match, the board of directors took it upon themselves to make sure that it took place, all in hopes that I'd fail, and that they wouldn't have to worry about a Virgin making anymore headway in this company.
(Billy nods his head and looks around at the crowd.)
*BU*: Well, I can handle that. But that brings me to my second point. The board of directors isn't all that bright. So who do you suppose it was who gave them the idea for this match? Simple! Its gotta be King Choculon!
(Billy pauses again, and the crowd gives a mild applause for Ultimo as Billy simply nods his head before continuing.)
*BU*: Let's face it! We know that "his majesty" is behind this. I'm facing his three goons, one right after another, and only a couple weeks before Crap-A-Mania. And why did he do this? Simple! Because old King Choculon is already running scared! That's right! He's already quaking under his crown! Because he knows that in a matter of weeks, he's not just going to come face-to-face with me..... but for the first time in his shallow life, he's going to come face-to-face with REALITY! And REALITY is going to take that fragile, little, fantasy world that King Choculon lives in.... That world where HE, not I, carried the H.B.M.S. to the top of the tag-team ranks. That world where HE, not I, is considered one of the top. That world that only exists in his egotistical mind..... and SHATTER it on the floor into a million little pieces.
(The camera gets a close-up of Billy as he continues to speak. In the background, the crowd is chanting "Vir-gin! Vir-gin!" in an audible manner.)
*BU*: Because the reality is that I... not King Choculon... am one of the greatest wrestlers ever to set foot inside an E.W.T. ring! And at Crap-A-Mania, I intend to prove it to everyone... especially King Choculon!
(Billy turns to face the entrance way as the crowd continues to boo him.)
*BU*: And, as for this match.... well, as they say in the circus.... bring on the clowns!!!
(Billy tosses the microphone out of the ring and stares at the entrance way. Eventually, some generic, ominous music starts playing and JESTER #1 steps out from behind the curtain. He starts making his way down to the ring, tucking a long lock of brown hair back under the back of his jester's mask as he does so eliciting some laughter from the audience who doesn't seem to be taking him seriously. JESTER #1 gets to the ring, when suddenly Billy Ubermark rushes the ropes. He launches himself over the top rope and hits a flying crossbody tackle on JESTER #1 on the outside of the ring. The two men tumble to the floor as the ref calls for the bell to start the match.)
*BELL RINGS*
(Billy Ubermark quickly gets off the floor and grabs JESTER #1 by the top of his mask. He drags him to his feet and starts delivering a series of punches to the face, then takes the jester by the head and slams his face into the apron of the ring. Billy then rolls the dazed Jester back into the ring under the bottom rope. Billy slides in after him. JESTER #1 staggers to his feet as Billy waits patiently. Once JESTER #1 is up, Billy grabs him and whips him into the far ropes. JESTER #1 comes running back, and Billy nails him with a back elbow smash to the face. JESTER #1 is stagger by the move, which Billy quickly follows up with a Sit-Out Jawbreaker. JESTER #1 falls backwards and rolls around on the floor, holding the area of his mask where his mouth should be. Billy doesn't let up. He quickly hits a running knee drop to the forehead of JESTER #1, and goes for a quick cover.)
1....2.... JESTER #1 kicks out.
(Billy stands up and grabs JESTER #1 by the back of his mask to lift him to his feet. He whips JESTER #1 into the ropes and catches him on the return with a Drop Toe-Hold. JESTER #1 falls down onto his hands and knees. Billy quickly gets to his feet, again, and hits a dropkick to the ribcage of JESTER #1. JESTER #1 rolls over onto his back in pain, clutching his ribs. Billy gets up and runs over to the ropes to attempt a Lionsault. Billy jumps on the ropes, but as he does so, JESTER #1 rolls out of the way and staggers to his feet. Billy sees him moving, however, remains perched on the ropes rather than trying for the move. JESTER #1 finally manages to get to the standing position. Once he's there, Billy launches himself off the ropes, turns around in mid-air, and catches JESTER #1 with a modified DDT. JESTER #1 goes to the canvas head-first from the move. Billy rolls him over, and then climbs to the top rope. He takes a moment to hock up a lunger and spits it at JESTER #1, then launches himself off the top rope and nails the Crossfire Leg-Drop across the throat of JESTER #1. Billy goes for a cover.
1.....2.....3!
(The ref calls for the bell as Billy grabs the back of Jester #1's mask. He starts pulling on it until it rips off and reveals the face of Erik Watts. Billy stares at Watts and then looks at the ref, who simply shrugs his shoulders. The audience starts mocking and ridiculing Watts once they see who it is. Billy takes the mask and starts trying to cram it down JESTER #1's throat, much to the delight of the fans who actually hate Watts more than Billy. Their delight is short-lived, however, as JESTER #2 hurries down to the ring, slides in, and attacks Billy from behind with a stomp to the back of the head. Billy slumps forwards onto the mat as Erik Watts slides out of the ring and JESTER #2 continues to stomp on Billy's back. Jester #2 reaches down and picks Billy up by the hair. He backs Billy into the ropes and slingshots him into the far ropes. As Billy comes running back at him, JESTER #2 tries for a Big Boot to the face, but Billy ducks under it. Billy hits the opposite ropes and comes back to catch the suprised JESTER #2 with a Flying Forearm Smash to the face. JESTER # 2 is knocked backwards and stumbles up against the ropes. Billy gest up, charges at JESTER #2, and clotheslines him over the top rope. JESTER #2 falls to the ground outside the ring. He shakes his head trying to get his bearings. As he does so, Billy gets a running start and does a Suicide Dive through the ropes that nails JESTER #2 and sends him back into the guard rail. JESTER #2 is hurt, and slumped up along the guard rail. Billy grabs JESTER #2 and whips him into another guard rail, back-first. JESTER #2 is in agony and grabs his back as he leans against the guard rail. Billy grabs a chair out of the audience. He then climbs up onto the ring apron and runs towards JESTER #2. When he reaches the corner of the apron, Billy leaps off and dropkicks the chair into JESTER #2's face. The crowd erupts with a "Holy S***!" chant at the culmination of the move. Billy is slow to get up, but JESTER #2 is slumped up against the steel railing. His mask is stained from the inside with blood. Billy finally gets to his feet and grabs the jester. He rolls him back into the ring under the bottom rope. He grabs the chair he just used and slides it on top of JESTER #2's face. Billy Ubermark then climbs up onto the ring apron. He slingshots himself over the top rope and lands with a leg drop across the chair that is positioned over JESTER #2's face. JESTER #2's body lurches in pain from the impact. Billy gets up and grabs JESTER #2's mask. He pulls him up by it and manuvers him over towards the . Billy makes a spinning motion with his hands and then executes the Canadian Destroyer. JESTER #2 lays motionless in the middle of the ring as Billy goes for a cover.)
1.....2... Billy intentionally jerks the shoulder of JESTER #2 up to break the count, and then administers a slap to the face of his masked opponent.
(The crowd boos Billy for his display of poor sportsmanship, and the ref admonishes him. Billy, however, pays no attention to either the fans or the ref. He rushes over to the turnbuckle and climbs up to the top. Billy takes a second to get his balance, and then launches off with a Moonsault that lands directly across the chest of JESTER #2. Billy covers the jester as the ref makes the count.)
1......2......3!
(The ref calls for the bell, again, as Billy promptly starts pulling on the mask of JESTER #2. Its not long before the mask comes off to reveal to the world that the second jester is actually.....TEST! Billy stares in disbelief at Test's face, and then lifts the barely conscious wrestler's head up so the rest of the audience can see it. The crowd laughs, mockingly, as Test and soon breaks into a chant of "TEST'S A LOSER!!!" which he rightly deserves!!!! After letting the fans mock Test for a couple of seconds, Billy gets to his feet. He looks down at his fallen foe, and then procedes to kick Test squarely in the nuts, which draws a huge pop from the fans. Test rolls out of the ring in agony and emberassment, as Billy goes over to one corner and obtains a microphone from the ring announcer. Billy gets his microphone and turns to face the ring entrance.)
*BU*: Hey, King Choculon! The only thing funny about your jokers, so far, has been how easy they've been to beat! Hell, I'd laugh if it wasn't so pathetic! So send out your third fool, and lets get this second-rate comedy act over with!!
(No sooner has Billy tossed the microphone aside than JESTER #3 comes out from behind the curtain with his hands raised over his head. JESTER #3 puts his hands down, walks slowly down the ring asile, and the puts his arms up in the air again, as if he wants the fans to acknowlege him for something he doesn't deserve. Finally, JESTER #3 climbs up into the ring. Once there, he raises his hands over his head, again. This time, JESTER #3 spins around, as though showing himself to the crowd. Billy, who has been standing with his hands on his hips during this bit, finally gets tired of the routine and rushes JESTER #3 from behind. Billy hits Jester #3 with a couple of forearms to the back of the neck, and then pushes him up against the ropes. Billy tries to whip JESTER #3 into the far ropes, but the jester reverses the whip and sends Billy into the ropes instead. Billy shoots off the ropes and JESTER #3 tries for a shoulder throw, but Billy leapfrogs over him. Billy shoots off the oposite set of ropes, and JESTER #3 turns around and tries to catch Billy with a Hip Toss. Billy blocks the Hip Toss, however, and reverses it into Forward Russian Leg Sweep, which plants the jester's face directly into the canvas. JESTER #3 rubs his face in agony while he lays on the mat. Billy gets up and quickly lands a leg drop across the back of JESTER #3's head. Billy picks JESTER #3 up by his mask and then whips him into a ring corner. Billy follows JESTER #3 into the corner and connects with the Monkey Flip. JESTER #3 goes flying out of the corner and lands on his back in the middle of the ring. JESTER #3 sits up, rubbing his back where he landed. Billy sees this and nails a dropkick to the back of JESTER #3's head. JESTER #3's head snaps forward, and then he collapses backwards from the move. Billy stands up and mutters something insulting at JESTER #3. He grabs the jester by the head and pulls him to his feet. Billy whips the jester into the ropes and nails him with a Hurricanrana pin.)
1....2....JESTER #3 breaks out of the hold.
(Billy wastes no time getting back up. JESTER #3 is quick getting to his feet, too. He rushes at Billy, but Billy catches JESTER #3 with a Hip Toss. JESTER #3 gets up again and comes at Billy, but Billy catches him with a Drop Toe-Hold. Once again, Billy quickly gets up and goes for a dropkick to the ribs, but JESTER #3 has him scouted and rolls out of the way. Billy misses and lands on his ass. Billy is a little slow to get up, and JESTER #3 gets to his feet first. JESTER #3 watches Billy get up all the way, and then tries to go for a crappy version of the Diamond Cutter. Billy, however, is able to slip out of the move. JESTER #3 staggers forwards, empty handed, and confused. And while JESTER #3 is standing there like an idiot, Billy quickly comes up behind him and nails him with the Virgin Sacrafice! Billy goes for the cover.)
1.....2......3!
*BELL RINGS*
(Billy climbs off of the stupid jester, and the ref raises his arm in victory. Billy, however, quickly shakes free of the ref's hand. He goes down and grabs the mask off of JESTER #3, who is gasping for air from the Virgin Sacrafice. Its.... RANDY ORTON! The crowd roars with laughter as Billy pulls Orton to his feet by his hair and then tosses him out of the ring through the ropes. Oton lands on the arena floor with a thud, and lies there in a worthless heap. Billy then goes and grabs the microphone he had earlier, and turns back towards the ring entrance.)
*BU*: Is that it, Chocula?! Is that the best your money could buy?! Or did you really think that because I'm a Virgin that I wouldn't be able to handle two second-generation wrestlers who aren't even fit to carry their old man's gym shorts, and one first-generation pile of crap?!
(Billy pauses for a second, and brushes his black hair out of his eyes. While he does so, the camera gets a shot of a ref helping Randy Orton to the dressing room. As he goes back, some fans whip empty cups and other garbage at Orton. The camera also gets a quick shot of Test, who is covered in gabage and still lying on the ground at ringside because nobody cares enough about him to want to take him to the back.)
*BU*: Whatever the case, Chocula, I just made your 3 Jesters look like a couple of fools! Now there's nobody left to do your dirty work for you!
(While Billy's talking, a figure suddenly jumps the guard rail and crouches down behind the ring. Its KING CHOCULON, who quickly slips a suspicious brace onto his left arm! Billy is still staring at the ring entrance, however, and doesn't notice him!)
*BU*: They always say "He who laughs last, laughs best." And come Crap-A-Mania, I garuntee you, I'll be laughing my ass off while I prove just how big of a joke you really are!
(Ultimo Chocula suddenly climbs into the ring. He charges at Billy Ubermark and nails him from behind with the brace on his left arm. Billy goes face-first onto the canvas, and lies there motionless! Ultimo Chocula turns around and stands over Billy Ubermark. Chocula grabs the microphone and stares down at Billy while he talks.)
*KC*: Billy is the biggest joke in all the land! So sayeth the king!
(With that, King Choculon throws the mic down on top of Billy. He raises his hands up over his head as if victorious as the crowd goes wild around him. As he does so, the scene fades to black.)
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Ratings
Dennis Stamp
Has a box of scraps
"YAY!"
Posts: 4,236
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Post by Ratings on Aug 17, 2006 6:34:39 GMT -5
(FADE IN)
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"Gun" by Gus Gus begins to play as the lights dim to blackness and yellow strobe lights flash throughout the arena. As the music picks up; Ratings, Maxx Awesome & Erik Majors step onto the stage in their entrance and wrestling attire (Ratings - Ring Attire #1, Color Scheme #3; Maxx - Ring Attire #2, Color Scheme #1; Erik - Ring Attire #2, Color Scheme #1). The trio nod to each other with their usual confident smug grins and proceed towards the ring, where Toni "The Garc" Garcya is present and is about to begin the introductions.
*
GARCYA: "The following six man tag team contest is scheduled for one fall with a twenty minute time limit. First making their way to the ring... at a combined weight of 690 pounds... Ratings, Maxx Awesome & Erik Majors... The Elite!"
*
The group enter the ring and pose while the crowd boos and hurls insults at them. They discard their entrance accessories as the lights brighten up the arena. The music fades to a silence for a few moments until "Enter Sandman" by Metallica begins to play, triggering the crowd to stand and cheer in approval. The audience's delight increases once Twizted and American Saint step onto the entrance stage. Their eyes survey the audience and then they look at one another. Just as the music begins to pick up, the duo raise their arms into the air, cuing some pyrotechnics to go off on the stage. They head towards the ring, high fiving fans along the way.
*
GARCYA: "And their opponents: First, at a combined weight of 500 pounds... Twizted & The American Saint... The Suicide Idolz!"
*
The duo stop before the ring, staring at the Elite while their music fades out and "Crying Out" by Shinedown starts up. The crowd gives a respectable applause for Lotus as he steps out onto the stage, wearing his wrestling attire, sunglasses and leather trench coat. He heads to the ring with his eyes locked on the Elite, discarding his entrance gear along the way.
*
GARCYA: "And their partner: from Anchorage, Alaska; weighing in at 230 pounds... Lotus!"
*
Lotus exchanges looks with the Suicide Idolz. The three nod to each other and rush into the ring, going after the Elite. Lotus goes right for Ratings, who immediately bails out of the ring and jumps the barricade into the audience. Lotus pursues Ratings through the crowded arena while in the ring, the Suicide Idolz and BK3K pick up where they left things off the last time the confronted each other: brawling viciously. The ref tries to restore order, but when he tries to break up Twizted and Maxx, they shove him away and the ref hits the canvas hard. Dazed, he signals the time keeper to ring the bell, stopping the match before it even had the chance to begin. The time keeper continues to the ring the bell, but the four men in the ring show no sign of stopping. EWT security, officials and road agents hit the ring and finally break up the melee. The four exchange words with the each other.
*
FADE OUT
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Aug 17, 2006 10:07:45 GMT -5
*Hoss Matthews is backstage with HBH and Cherry*
Hoss: Bret, I just wanted to get your thoughts on teaming with Spyke Johannson to take on Mike and Joe Ragnal.
HBH: First off, I'm none too happy about teaming with Little Spikey, but I'll do it anyway. He could learn a great deal just from teaming up with such greatness as myself. But get this straight, Spikey. You try any funny business, and you'll be on the mat faster than you can say "your momma".
And as for Mikey and Joey, so we meet again. You two may have had the longest tag team title reign in EWT history, but I am the longest-reigning Tri-State Champion in EWT history. And I fully intend on keeping this title well past Crap-a-mania. So Mikey, prepare to experience a small sample of our match. And if Little Joey decides to stick his nose where it doesn't belong...then he'll have to hear some Sweet Chin Muzak!
*Cherry nods her head in agreement*
HBH: And I believe this interview is over.
*HBH and Cherry walk off as we cut to the next segment*
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Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
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Post by Ass Dan on Aug 17, 2006 16:51:48 GMT -5
(black and white)
(Radiohead's Everything in its Right Place place)
(shot of Joe One)
One: I see the world with my third eye. The hatred brewing in EWT is blinding. You know something? I love to hate. Hatred makes me stronger, more powerful than an atomic bomb. It brings me closer to the nirvana of wrath that could take out a nation with the flick of a wrist.
My name is Joe One. The only way you can beat me is to not fight me.
(graphic) Joe One....coming at CrapaMania III.
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Sajoa Moe
Patti Mayonnaise
Did you get that thing I sent ya?
A man without gimmick.
Posts: 39,683
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Post by Sajoa Moe on Aug 17, 2006 18:05:12 GMT -5
Great Hugo is walking through the hallway on his way to the ring for his match with Heiden-Dorf. As he turns the corner, a steel pipe swings into his stomach. As he doubles over clutching his stomach, Chance Confidence appears, holding the pipe. Some people nearby are watching, but Chance gives them the "shove off" wave. As he brings the pipe down for another shot, Hugo reaches up and grabs the pipe, and tosses it away. Still hurting, he grabs Chance and tosses him across the hallway into a pile of crates and garbage. As he makes his way back down the hallway, Chance jumps him from behind and hits him in the back with a chair. Hugo grimaces, but shakes off the chair shot. He turns around and kicks the chair into Chance's stomach. Chance drops the chair, allowing Hugo to pick it up and hit Chance in the head.
Mike Tenay: Hugo appears to have lost focus on the upcoming match and is instead concentrating on getting rid of Chance Confidence!
Hugo tries to hit Chance again with the chair, but Chance ducks away and stumbles down the corridor. Hugo follows him. He takes a swing with the chair, but he hits a steam pipe on the wall, which starts shooting steam in his face. Chance grabs the chair and starts punishing Hugo with shots to the head and arm. Hugo falls to the floor. Chance then notices a row of lockers nearby, with names of EWT wrestlers on them. He starts frantically digging through the lockers.
ULTIMO CHOCULA's locker: A box of Oreos and an envelope full of photos of Terri Runnels in compromising positions.
CRAUSWELL's locker: A stack of Fur Fetish Monthly magazines.
BILLY UBERMARK's locker: A yellow raincoat with matching boots, the latest issue of Big 'Uns, and an unopened box of condoms with a note reading "Ha ha! Just kidding. From Dad" on it.
MIKE HODGSON's locker: A Nintendo Power Glove and a couple of crudely drawn sketches of Lara Croft naked.
Finally Chance comes to a locker marked CACTUS JACK. He opens it up and finds a barbed wire baseball bat. He looks at the bat with a sinister smile, and finds that Hugo has gotten back to his feet. Chance swings and hits Hugo in the arm with the bat, then in the leg, then the arm again. Hugo screams in pain. Chance goes for another swing, but Hugo grabs the bat from him. He swings it with one hand and hits Chance in the arm. As Chance turns around to attend to his arm, Hugo grabs Chance by the hair and tangles it in the barbed wire. He pulls Chance down the corridor with the bat, which is still tied up in Chance's hair. Hugo drags Chance into a locker room. He picks up Chance and prepare to hurl him into the lockers, but Chance punches him in the face, then kicks him in the nuts. While Hugo is reeling, Chance charges at Hugo, slamming him into a metal shelf. The shelf begins to tip over. Chance dives out of the way just in time as the shelf collapses, crushing Hugo underneath. He lies motionless underneath the weight of the shelf. As Chance stumbles wearily out of the room, road agents and medical staff appear to attend to Hugo.
Mike Tenay: My God, what an absolutely heinous attack by Chance Confidence! I don't know if Hugo is moving!
Don West: IT'S A VERY SOMBER MOOD HERE IN EWT, MIKE TENAY!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT HAPPENED!!! I REALLY HOPE THAT HUGO CAN BE RUSHED TO A MEDICAL FACILITY AND MAKE IT BACK FOR HIS MATCH AT CRAP-A-MANIA!!!!!!
Mike Tenay: If it's such a somber mood, why are you yelling?
Don West: I'M NOT YELLING, MIKE TENAY!!! THIS IS MY NORMAL VOICE!! THAT BEATDOWN WAS A GEM MINT TEN!!! GEM MINT TEN!!!! GEM MINT TEN!!!!
Mike Tenay: Well, hopefully, Hugo can recover from that...
Don West: STING IS IN THE BUILDING!!!!!!
Mike Tenay: (throws down the headset) That's it, I quit.
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Aug 17, 2006 21:12:44 GMT -5
(As Don West gags on his own esophagus we cut backstage to see King Choculon walking through the hallway, very pleased with himself after he just knocked Billy Ubermark out in front of everybody. He adjusts his arm brace as he hums a happy tune.)
KC: "Doo dee do do do, I turned Billy's brain to goo. Doody do de de, I'm a happy bumble bee. Boop de boop blah blah, I think I broke his jaw. Dum de do duh duh, gonna beat him at Crapamania. Hey!"
(As he walks by Terri meets up with him and looks at him, very upset with him of course.)
Terri: "Ok, let's hear it."
KC: "Hear what?"
Terri: "You're lame justification of what just happened. I know it's coming so just come out with it already."
KC: "Well, for starters he's a commoner peasant who I needed to put in his place."
Terri: "But why? Why go through all that hassle? Why send three losers to do a job you know they can't do? Why sneak attack him when his back is turned? Why is it that if you feel so confident you can beat him at Crapamania that you need to go through all of this garbage?"
KC: "To answer your first question, because that's the kind of things you have to do when you're the king."
Terri: (shaking her head) "Oh lord......"
KC: "Yes?"
Terri: (stares a hole through Ultimo) "Forget it. Continue."
KC: "Second, why did I send three fools out to beat down Billy when everybody knows they couldn't spell "cat" if you spot 'em the C and the T? Simple. False confidence."
Terri: "You would know all about that, wouldn't you?"
KC: (ignores her) "You see, I'm letting Billy think he has a chance to defeat me in our encounter. That way it's more fun for me when I whip him from pillar to post. And I look into his eyes, and he knows that he's over matched, I'll put him away for good. (makes the lariat motion) Blammo! Right between the eyes! You have to admit. That's pretty funny."
Terri: "Right. Hysterical. And what's with that stupid arm brace?"
KC: "Haven't you heard?"
Terri: "..............no?"
KC: "It's National Lariat Appreciation Week!"
Terri: "Oh give me a break!"
KC: "No! It's true! This is the week that you pay respect to the move that Stan Hansen made famous! It's quite the celebration! See, you put on your favorite arm brace, you find somebody, and you clobber 'em!"
Terri: "And I suppose you were just in the holiday spirit when you attacked Billy then, right?
KC: "Essentially, yes. But to also show Billy just how many ways I can beat him! I got the Sugar Fix, the single biggest move in wrestling today. I got the Squid Face, a good solid maneuver I can pull out at the drop of a hat. I got the Earth Clutch, the first ever top rope submission hold. I got the Cannonball Run, just in case I decide to beat him by count out. I got the Knee-Sault. I got The Boston Crab. I got the Perfect Plex. And now, I got my very own version of the Lariat, one jillion times better than all the rest! And it shall be known as......................wait for it..................THE CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT!"
(a collective groan emanates from Terri, the camera crew, and anyone within listening distance of this drek.)
KC: "What? You know, because I'm a king, and I wear a crown, and it's quite an achievement if I do say so myself. It's very clever."
Terri: "That's the worst name for a move I've ever heard. Besides, what makes you think you're the kind of guy who can pull off a Lariat?"
KC: "Crowning Achievement."
Terri: "I don't care what you call it, it's a lariat. Normally to pull off a lariat you have to be a big thick guy with some weight to properly knock someone out, like Stan Hansen or Kobashi. You're a cruiserweight. Quite frankly, I don't think you've got the muscle."
KC: "Oh really? Well check this out!"
(KC flexes his left arm with the brace on it. Terri feels his muscle but she notices something's amiss.)
Terri: "What's this funny bump right here? That's weird."
KC: (nervously) "That? Oh, it's nothing. It's my bicep. It's perfectly normal."
Terri: "It doesn't feel normal. It almost feels like you have a horse shoe tucked in.........."
(KC pulls his arm away from Terri real quick like and he gets all huffy.)
KC: "Now see here! I will not have you questioning the integrity of my moosles! They are hard and they are good!"
Terri: "I'm just saying.........."
KC: "You say too much! I hereby downgrade your ranking! You are no longer "indentured servant"! You are now..........."horse poop shoveler"!
Terri: "Ultimo, you're really going too far with this "king" business."
KC: "To the stables with you! So sayeth the king!"
(Terri just looks at Ultimo for a few moments, appearing to be at her wit's end. Finally she takes a breath and looks right at him.)
Terri: "Fine. Have it your way."
(Terri turns and storms off. Ultimo, oblivious to anything not concerning himself, smiles and adjusts his arm brace.)
KC: "I will have it my way, cuz I'm the king. That's right."
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Aug 17, 2006 23:22:29 GMT -5
*Cut to ringside. "Sexy Guy" hits*
RA: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, being accompanied by Sensational Cherry, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 232 lbs., he is the Tri-State Champion, the Heartbreak Hitman BRET MICHAELS!
*HBH and Cherry walk out to numerous boos. HBH is looking as cocky and arrogant as ever. They step into the ring and pose. Soon after "Sexy Guy" segues into "Galvanize"*
RA: And his tag team partner, from Stockholm, Sweden, weighing in at 225 lbs., he is a member of Generation Tech, SPYKE JOHANNSON!
*Spyke walks out to a big pop and dances on his way to the ring. He jumps into the ring and does some more dancing. HBH looks on, rolling his eyes in disgust. "High Voltage" comes on next*
RA: And their opponents, being accompanied by Linda Ragnal, from Scranton, Pennsylvania, at a combined weight of 479 lbs., The Innovator of FUN and the EWT Toolshed Champion, JOE RAGNAL, and his partner, The Master of Elemental Disaster, MIKE RAGNAL!
*The Ragnals all walk out to huge pops and hi-five fans down the ramp. Mike and Joe get in the ring and pose on the turnbuckle. Mike points at HBH and makes a title gesture. HBH shakes his head and mouths off "Not on your life, bud!"*
The bell rings to start the match. We start off with Mike and Spyke locking up in the center of the ring. Mike applies a wristlock. Spyke gets out of it and goes for a hammerlock. Mike elbows his way out and rams Spyke into the corner. Mike strikes with punches and kicks before whipping him to the opposite corner. Spyke avoids the turnbuckle by jumping back and does a backflip. Mike runs at him for a clothesline, but Spyke rolls out of the way and dropkicks him. Spyke keeps the momentum going by whipping Mike to the ropes, connecting with a back elbow attack. Next he hits a tornado DDT. Mike rolls over to his side and tags in Joe. Fans start cheering loudly.
Spyke and Joe circle the ring before they lock up. Spyke applies a headlock. Joe gets to the ropes and whips Spyke. Spyke leaps over Joe, bounces off the ropes again, and is taken down with a monkey flip. He runs at Joe, but Joe hits him with a hurricanrana. Joe picks up Spyke and performs a belly to back suplex. Spyke rolls out of the ring to take a breather. He doesn’t get much time though, because Joe flips onto him at ringside, which gets a big pop. Joe picks up Spyke and rolls him back into the ring. He’s about to get back into the ring, but with the referee’s back turned. HBH knees him in the back. Then he throws him into the steel steps. He rolls Joe back in the ring when he sees Mike approaching him. Spyke crawls over to Joe to cover him.
1... 2...
Joe kicks out. When Spyke gets up, HBH tags himself in. Spyke looks confused, but steps onto the apron. HBH picks up Joe and bangs his head on the turnbuckle and stomps a mudhole in him. Next he runs at him with a knee to the head.. HBH picks him up again and hits a backbreaker. After a standing moonsault, he covers Joe.
1... 2...
Joe kicks out. HBH delivers a few kicks to the back. Then he turns Joe over and locks in a camel clutch. Joe struggles to reach the ropes, but makes it there eventually. While HBH distracts the ref, Cherry chokes him with the bottom rope. HBH picks him up and performs a snap suplex. He climbs the turnbuckle and jumps off for an elbow drop, but Joe moves out of the way. Joe crawls over to his side and tags in Mike. Fans pop big time and start chanting “BREAK THE HITMAN!” HBH looks ready to do battle, but decides against it and tags in an annoyed Spyke, resulting in resounding boos.
Spyke and Mike go at it, trading punches. Mike gets the upper hand and plants a DDT. He picks him up and whips him to the ropes, hitting a roundhouse dropkick. Spyke runs at him, but Mike takes him down with an armdrag. Spyke runs at him again, so Mike hits him with a Samoan drop. Mike goes for a cover.
1... 2...
Spyke kicks out. Mike picks him up and whips him to the corner, where he tags in HBH. HBH looks surprised while Spyke yells “Get in there!” But he isn’t budging, so Mike grabs him and throws him into the ring. He unloads a flurry of punches onto HBH. He whips him to the ropes, landing a back body drop. Mike then runs to the ropes and hits a running enziguri. Next he climbs the ropes and jumps off for a missile dropkick. He goes for a pin.
1... 2...
Spyke breaks up the count. Joe comes into the ring and clotheslines him over the top rope. The Ragnals then focus on HBH, hitting a double suplex. Mike picks him up and dropkicks him in the back, sending him into the middle rope. Joe gets on the outside and hits a guillotine legdrop. Mike signals for the end of the match, and the crowd cheers loudly. Mike and Joe pick up HBH and go for the Thundercloud! But soon after, the ref tells Joe to get out of the ring. While this is happening, Cherry gets on the apron and flashes Mike. Mike looks stunned by what he sees. Cherry covers herself back up and is knocked off the apron by Linda. Meanwhile, HBH rolls Mike up from behind and grabs the tights.
1... 2...
3! *Bell rings*
RA: Here are your winners, Spyke Johannson, and the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels!
*HBH rolls out of the ring. He turns Spyke around and knocks him out with some Sweet Chin Muzak. Then he grabs Cherry and heads up the ramp while Mike looks on angrily. The two exchange some words*
*Cut to a commercial*
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Queen Rosa
Mike the Goon
All hail the queen!
Posts: 30
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Post by Queen Rosa on Aug 18, 2006 0:33:12 GMT -5
Mean Gene: Hi, I'm Mean Gene Okerlund. Over the past week we've seen some great EWT matches. One of those being OX Division Champion Koda Kazar teaming up with the GND Champion Rosa to take on JCJ and Rachael Leigh Cook. Here are some highlights.
*Cut to a clip of Koda and JCJ squaring off in the ring. Koda hits JCJ with a Shining Wizard. He climbs to the top rope and jumps off for a diving hurricanrana. He covers him, but JCJ kicks out at 2*
*Cut to a clip of JCJ jumping onto the ropes and hits a springboard shooting star press on Koda at ringside*
*Cut to another clip of Rosa and RLC duking it out. RLC hits Rosa with a facebuster. She covers her for a 2 count. She runs to the ropes but Rosa connects with a spinning heel kick*
*Cut to a clip of everyone battling outside. The bell rings, and the referee has ruled the match a double countout. Fans don't like this at all and boo*
MG: This highlight was brought to you by Publix, where shopping is a pleasure. I'm Mean Gene Okerlund. So long, everybody!
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Aug 20, 2006 2:42:24 GMT -5
*Spaz walks up & reads the matchboard. A little smile forms on his face. He turns to see Gasoline standing behind him.*
S: Interesting match this week.
G: It certainly is.
S: Look, I know our match is a week away & that any advantage going into it would be great. But Generation Tech is still about Respect, Loyalty & Ability so I would hope you would call this straight down the middle.
G: Well you will just have to wait & see there Champ.
*Gas turns & leaves as Spaz just stares cautiously.*
CUT TO C-A-M III PROMO
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ape
Unicron
Aunt Blabby Tells All.
bea wants all you sweathogs to take a look at what a REAL man is supposed to look like
Posts: 3,223
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Post by ape on Aug 20, 2006 5:58:44 GMT -5
*the camera cuts to a poorly lighted theatre stage. the camera slowly zooms in towards the stage. the backdrop appears to be of a sunrise, but it's hard to tell as pillows have been stapled to it. in the center of the stage is a grand piano with a familiar man sitting in front of it. the paino is covered with a pile of dead rats. flies swarm around the pile of vermin carcasses and maggots crawl amongst the heap. there there isn't death and decay, a thick layer of dust covers the rest of the piano. the man is slowly playing the piano and he begins to speak.*
....one week, my family.....one week....and i'm coming home....hehe....i can't wait to show my affection for you all again...hehe....
*the man looks at the pile of rats.*
...they've been my family for the past nine months...i...i loved them......hehe....i guess you could say.....i loved them to death....my poor little family.......but that's in the past now.....hehe next week is the start of a new family....hehe...a family who can handle what i have in store for them.....hehe....a family that will welcome me with open arms....when i enter that room.....all....all the people there will stop what they're doing....stop what they're doing to say....hey, ape....we missed you.........we missed you, ape......we missed you......hehe...
*the man slams his hand down on the piano keys. the force causes some of the rats to tumble off of the piano; their lifeless bodies rolling on the stage.*
...no....hehe...no, they won't say that.....they don't think i'm a member of the family....that's why i was always locked up in an asylum....that's why i've been alone for the past nine months of my life.....not a single person cared enough....cared enough to see how i was...
*the man lowers his head and begins to visibly cry....after a few short seconds, his head rises again and the crying slowly turns to laughter. the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a snowglobe. he shakes the snowglobe up, then holds it up into the air. he then looks directly into the camera.*
....hehe....my family.....you're merely a snowglobe to me....from the outside, i've watched on....it's been all calm....and cheerful....hehe....
*the man drops the snowglobe and it shatters as it hits the floor.*
.....on sunday....hehe.....i'm going to shatter this little snowglobe....hehe....and i'm going to do it.....i'm going to do it out of love for all of you.....
*the man smiles into the camera and calmly turns back to the piano and begins to play once again as the camera fades to black.*
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Post by Poker Joker on Aug 20, 2006 17:48:07 GMT -5
(The scene opens up in the lockerroom of the E.W.T. arena. Sitting on a bench, still wearing his wrestling tights, is Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark. Billy seems to be in pain as he adjusts an ice bag, which he is holding on the back of his head. He mutters something under his breath as he switches hands that he's holding the ice pack with. Suddenly, Sum Guy steps into the picture, with a microphone in one hand.)
*SUM GUY*: I'm E.W.T. Reporter Sum Guy, and I'm in the locker room. Usually, I either get thrown out of here, or drug into the showers with my clothes still on. Today, however, I'm here with Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark, who is recouperating from the recent match he had with King Choculons 3 Jesters and the subsequent attack by King Choculon, himself.
(Sum goes over to where Billy is sitting, and sits down next to Billy. Billy glances over at him, briefly.)
*SUM GUY*: Hello, Mr. Ubermark.
*BU* (trying not to pay much mind to Sum Guy): Hi, yourself.
*SUM GUY* (oblivious to Billy's rudeness): I see you're not very busy at the moment. Would you have a couple seconds to answer some questions for me?
*BU* (looking over at Sum): You know, they have dozens of hot female reporters around here. How is it that I always seem to get interviewed by you?
*SUM GUY* (smiling): You're just lucky, I guess.
*BU*: Great. With that kind of luck, its no wonder I haven't won the lottery yet.
*SUM GUY*: So, how about those questions? You got a moment?
*BU*: Well, I'm kind of....
*SUM GUY*: GREAT! Let's get started.
*BU* (rolling his eyes): Fine! Ask away.
*SUM GUY*: OK. First off, I was just wondering how you're feeling after that brutal attack by King Choculon following your match with his three jesters.
*BU* (looking over at Sum Guy): How am I feeling? How am I feeling?! (Billy slaps Sum Guy in the back of the head.) Take a look at me! How do you THINK I'm feeling?! I'm holding an ice bag over a lump on the back of my head the size of Mt. Rushmore! A lump that got there thanks to one royal pain in the ass named King Choculon, who didn't have the guts to come out and face me like a man. Instead, he had to attack me from behind, like the chicken **** he is!
(Billy goes back to rubbing the back of his neck with the ice bag. He looks down as he does so, but keeps talking into the microphone.)
*BU* (whiney, sulking voice): You know, if this had been anybody but me, people would be clammoring about how great an injustice this was. I mean, I'm a former Tri-State AND Tag-Team Champion, for Pete's sake! I'm one of the biggest draws this federation has! Where was security? Were were the refs to make sure this kind of thing didn't happen? Why wasn't there more out-rage about it? The answer: its because I'm a Virgin! If it had been any other second-rate goofball in this company, security after that match would've been lining the ring, and this never would've happened!
*SUM GUY*: Uh, are you sure? I see a lot of....
*BU* (sharply): SHUT UP! Of course I'm sure! And besides, if this had happened to anyone else, there would be a HUGE public out-cry about how this kind of thing could happen, and the company would be trying to set things right. But no, because of my sexual status, security got lax and just let me get fed to the wolves, and nobody cares. King Choculon knew that would happen, and he took advantage of it.
*SUM GUY*: Uh... He did?
*BU*: Of course he did! Its been my experience that people who practice Virgin Discrimination, like some of the folks on the board of directors in the company, tend to think a lot alike. And King Crapulon is one of the biggest Virgin Discriminators I've ever met! No doubt he knew that he'd be able to have easy access at me, and then took advantage of it to get a cheap shot in..... the only kind of shot he's good at taking, mind you! And then he walks away figuring that he'll never have to worry about suffering any consequences for his actions. But that's where King Chumpula is wrong! You see, the E.W.T. may not make him pay for his actions, but I will.
*SUM GUY*: Ah. So I take iit you're looking forward to getting even with King Choculon at Crap-A-Mania?
(Billy puts his ice bag down and looks over at Sum Guy with a serious expression on his face.)
*BU*: Sum, Do you walk around this place with your eyes closed? Because if you didn't, you'd know me WAY better than that! And you'd know that I don't like being EVEN with someone...;
(Billy grabs Sum by the hair on the back of the head and pulls him forwards so that the two of their faces are only inches apart. Sum gets a startled expression on his face as Billy speaks to him through clinched teeth)
*BU* (talking through clinched teeth) .... I like being BETTER than them! And by the time Crap-A-Mania rolls around, garuntee you that I'll already be EVEN with King Choculon. But after Crap-A-Mania, I'll also garuntee you that I'll be better than him! Because at Crap-A-Mania, I'm going to bring a swift end to the brief reign of King Choculon... and then, I'm going to usher in the year of the Virgin, and everyone in this company can take notice.
(Billy lets go of Sum's head. Sum Guy pulls his face back out of Billy. Billy stares at Sum Guy for a few moments, and then gets up and walks away. Sum Guy watches Billy go for a few seconds and then turns back to the camera.)
*SUM GUY* (shakend up) Well,.... uh... those are some strong words from Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark. Anyway.... uh... This has been Sum Guy, ace reporter for the E.W.T. News, and I'm sending it back out front.
(Sum guy breathes a sigh of relief, and adjusts the back of his hair where Billy had grabbed him as the sceen fades to black.)
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Post by HMARK Center on Aug 20, 2006 20:58:29 GMT -5
<The screen shows a shot of the Prophecy Reborn logo against a black backdrop. However, as the camera pulls back, we see it is, in fact, a design stitched into a tight, dark top, worn by Auraelia, who's shirt also includes sheer black sleeves. She carries one of the EWT Tag Team titles in her hands, holding it reverently. Her eyes, which seem to be filled with admiration, look off-screen, towards a figure, HMark, who slowly moves into view>
HM: Let me take you on a small trip down memory lane.
A long time ago, in a place much like this, there was a young man...hell, not even a man, but a boy. This boy, as it were, was already renown throughout the world as a prodigy of his craft, already a recognizable face, at an age when most of his peers were content to attend college, take menial jobs, to merely lead a "normal" life.
But the boy was not satisfied. He knew he had proven much; however, he also knew he would never gain the full recognition he so richly deserved if he stayed put where he was. If he remained, his future would be marred by shady politicking, the shadowy machinations of those in positions of power and influence above him.
So the boy left his familiar home, knowing what he had to do to prove his full worth. He entered a new world, born from the mind of, well, let's face it, a madman with a plan. The boy, eager to show what he was capable of, eager to prove that he, yes, HE could be "the man", the one to take this infant of a world to levels not yet known by anyone else, immediately set about his all-important work. When the dust settled, the boy stood triumphantly, the blood-stained trophy in his hands, ready to usher in a new era, one that has lasted to this very day.
In that moment, the boy became a man.
<stops, takes a deep breath>
It was at that moment, the inaugural EWT Title match, that I first became the EWT Champion.
From that day on, I carried that title with dignity, proving to the whole world not just how great I could be, but how much that title truly meant. Within a few months, I had made it a WORLD title, defended it against opponents from dozens of different promotions, and held onto it longer than almost every champion since.
And, oh no, that wasn't my only reign as top dog in this company. Twice more, I would carry that gold. I would wear that gold, representing the EWT against the WCF, wearing it as the leader of the Mark Foundation, acting as the standard bearer of ALL that this company stood, and, to this day, stands for!
But then, something odd happened. Yes, I won more gold after those reigns, like holding the EWT Tag Titles while with the Mark Foundation, or, hell, taking the TV Title and changing it for good to the Tri-State title, and going on to have one of the longest reigns in the belt's history. Hell, even today, <turns and indicates towards the belt in Auraelia's hands>, I am once more a co-holder of the Tag Team titles, along with my partner, Moxie. But something was still missing.
Simply put, not since the end of my third World Title reign have I received a single, solitary chance of going one-on-one for the belt that I made famous, in the company that I put on the map. Take my words as arrogance, or the words of an over-inflated ego, but they are the truth. <voice rises a bit> HitmanMark, one of the most prolific champions in EWT history, one of the only Triple Crown winners in this company, the man who single-handedly fought off the nBo, who won the first ever Royal-PimA-Rumble, who paved the way for men like Moxie, Limey, Spaz, and countless others, who remains UNDEFEATED in singles competition since returning so many months ago...and I have to stand on the sidelines and wait, continuing endlessly to bide my time?
<serious expression fades as a smile begins to crack his lips>
Well...those days are officially over.
Thanks to my pinfall victory in the Prophecy Reborn's last Tag Team Title defense, the golden oppurtunity I have been so patiently waiting for has finally fallen into my lap.
Which brings me to Spaz.
During my last run, Spaz, you were just a beginner. Hell, let's not mince words; back then, I thought you were just another punk looking to make a name for himself at the expense of guys like me. But, my, how things change.
I will make this perfectly clear: Spaz, it hasn't taken long for you to establish yourself as arguably one of the best champions this company has had. Hell, nobody can really argue that; look at the odds you've overcome, the list of opponents you've put down, and the sheer amount of time that belt has stayed glued to your waist. And the way you do it, the technical mastery, the high-flying, daredevil style, the myriad of suplex variations...nobody can argue just how far you've come.
In fact, let's face facts; the fans say it, the dirtsheets say it, hell, I'll say it...you remind me of myself. You remind me of that boy who took that step into the new world, who became a man in one night, who put that entire world on his back, and carried as farther than anyone could've thought possible. It seems like every week I get "HMark, do you think you could outwrestle Spaz?", or "HMark, when are you going to step up to Spaz, and show us who's really the best?", or even "Hey, you against Spaz...that'd prove who's truly the best in company history."
And I won't lie; me, the Internet voices, the fans in the crowds...we've all been looking forward to this match ever since you put Limey's shoulders to the mat to win the belt.
Spaz, you have faced countless obstacles since becoming champion. I even remember the TLC Rumble; we both made it to the final three, a match you had no business winning, and yet by the time the bell rang, you had your hand in the air. Who else could've possibly survived that?
But Spaz, for all the odds you've won against...for all the monsters you've slain...for all the men you've outclassed and outperformed...understand this, Spaz: you have never faced anyone like me.
Bring your best game to the table; I assure you, you will not be able to outwrestle me. Throw any trick in the book you can think of; I've seen it, dealt with it, beaten it.
But that's not to say you don't stand a chance, Spaz; I wouldn't have complemented you before like I did if I thought you had no prayer. All I ask of you is that you bring me everything you have. <voices rises once again> Show me the extent of your abilities, and I will show you how a true champion fights to regain what is rightly his! And when you see that, you will learn first-hand just how that boy, so long ago, became a man, and how that man became THE champion! And if you can equal me, if you can show me that you have what it takes, then if we have to wrestle 'til Judgement Day comes, and the forces of Hell have to drag us both away from the ring, then SO BE IT!
<breathing heavily>
My time has once again come, Spaz. You're a great champion...but THIS <points at the floor, and the walls>...is the house that HMark built. In THIS <points to the Prophecy Reborn/Fallen Dragon logo on Auraelia's shirt>, the Fallen Legion trusts. And HERE <indicates towards his waist>...is where the gold has always belonged.
And THAT...is GOSPEL.
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Aug 21, 2006 3:36:14 GMT -5
*Spaz is standing in front of the EWT logo with the EWT title on his shoulder. He is wearing a new shirt it says Cometh The Hour Cometh The Man.*
S: Nice little nostalgia trip HMark. I remember when I first started here you were "The Man" the crowd hung on every word you said, they were on the edge of their seats every time you stepped into that ring & they rose to applaud you after each contest. You were, hell you still are, one of the greatest to ever step into the EWT ring.
When I first joined this company you were the benchmark, the icon. When people thought EWT they though of you. But as you know this business is fluid & the flow changed. You stepped aside & allowed others to shine & many did. Moxie, Dorf, Limey, DSR, The Variable & myself to name just a few. We picked up the ball & ran with it. We put on matches that would have made you proud. We gave the fans things they had never seen before & they lapped up every single second of it.
When I won this title at Full House one of the reasons it meant so much to me was because of the men who had gone before me. Men like you HMark. I wear this belt with pride because I know the sacrifices men have made in pursuit & defense of it. The pain men have endured because of their desire to possess it. So understand this I will take you to hell & back again for this belt! I will put both of us through worse pain then anyone could imagine to keep this belt!
I'm honored that you respect me. I have nothing but the utmost respect for you too. But understand this, as soon as that bell rings I will be all over you like a cheap suit! You may have been "The Man" before HMark. But this is my hour & right now I am "The Man" because I am the World Champion. Cometh The Hour, Cometh The Man HMark.
I will beat you & I will go on to Crap-a-Mania & beat Gasoline too! Bring your A-Game HMark coz the fans demand it & so do I!
*CUT TO PROMO FOR C-A-M III*
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Post by Moxie loves Natalie on Aug 21, 2006 10:49:01 GMT -5
<Moxie stands in front of the EWT Logo, Tag strap around his waist>
Moxie: Challenges come and challenges go. At Toomi's House Party 2, I had the greatest challenge of my career. I had to defend my World Title against 5 other competitors in steel hell. I may have lost, but I rose to the occasion and gave it the best I could.
<Moxie pauses, looks down and touches his Tag strap>
Moxie: I always have to laugh when Toom puts me in matches that put me at a disadvantage. My partner, HMark, is in a match for the World Title. Leaving me alone, to defend myself against Rated X. The number one contenders.
<Moxie looks down and up, with an angered, intense look on his face>
Moxie: I WON'T back down. I don't care if I have to beat the living S*** out of Rated X myself. Intensity is my middle name, and wrestling my way through my problems is the way I do it. This just gives me the chance to prove to myself, the fans, and to Rated X...
Don't get in the way of the Soothsayer. Don't get in the way of the most decorated tag-team in the business. You don't want to step in the ring with me. I will win, and if by chance you do... It's because I LET YOU.
<Fade out>
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Post by Mystery on Aug 21, 2006 23:40:11 GMT -5
Shiny happy people laughing Meet me in the crowd People people Throw your love around Love me love me Take it into town Happy happy Put it in the ground Where the flowers grow Gold and silver shine
Shiny happy people holding hands Shiny happy people laughing
Everyone around love them, love them Put it in your hands Take it take it There's no time to cry Happy happy Put it in your heart Where tomorrow shines Gold and silver shine
Shiny happy people holding hands Shiny happy people laughing
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Post by respectmeordye3 on Aug 22, 2006 13:13:29 GMT -5
The Sandman's theme song starts to blare through the speakers as the Sandman makes his way down the ramp and into the ring with his stick in hand.
A moment later the generic rock music of Clem Chowder begins to play away and he soon joins the rugged dangerous ECW vetran. They stare at each other for a minute and then as Sandman reaches out and slaps Clem across the face Clem takes a phoney looking stumble backward before "collasping unconciously" to the mat.
The referee begins to count as The Sandman just stares at the cowardly move to get out of this match. He's not about to let such an action slide either.
at the count of eight Clem is suddenly yanked to his feet by his opponent and the count is stopped. Clem gets angry and screams at Sandman for bizzarely enough--NOT pinning him.
Clem then calls Sandman "a super pansy jackass buttwadd with no gonads who couldn't get a woman to do IT with him because it would anger the Sandman's life partner who is ironically enough his own son as well."
Oops.
He's clearly gone too far. Sandman has had enough.
CRACK! He smashes Clem with the stick from out of nowhere nd begins to repeatedly hitClem over and over causing welts to quickly appear on the bigmouth's body and blood to quickly begin seeping from the various cuts that begin to open up.
The referee calls for the bell and the match as a result of a DQ is awarded to Clem Chowder---Sandman however doesn't seem to hear the bell and he continues his assualt on Clem Chowder.
By the time the barely concious Clem is able to escape he can barely walk and ends up having to crawl to the back for medical attention.
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Post by SHOCK_THE_TRUTH.VLTG3 on Aug 22, 2006 13:42:32 GMT -5
Canceler's generic rock theme starts up as the crowd gives him a nice pop, the big man storming down to the ring.
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Moscow Russia, weighing in at 515 pounds.... The Canceler!!!
Canceler slaps giant hands with the fans as he heads towards the ring, stepping up and over. He stomps over to one corner of the ring, awaiting his opponent.
And eventually, he starts heading out.
Announcer: And introducing the opponent, from Palm Springs California, weighing in at 215 pounds... Frankie " The Future " Kazarian!!!
Kazarian gets a decent reaction from the crowd... mainly based on ring skills. He hops onto the ring apron, looking over at Canceler who stomps over to go face to face with him. Kazarian offers a handshake, which Canceler accepts... only for Kazarian to roll through with the handshake, rolling behind and trying to take Canceler down with a leg lace. BAD IDEA. Canceler is way too heavy for this to work and he simply sits down hard rump first onto Kazarian, who gasps in pain. Canceler gets back up off the ground, hoisting up a dazed Kazarian onto his shoulders and drops him with the Quarter Ton Bomb. A cover. 1...2....
3.
Geez... talk about squash matches. Canceler picks up the easy victory over poor Kazarian.
Announcer: Here is your winner... the Canceler!
Canceler reaches over, grasping the microphone and looking up toward the Toomitron now.
Canceler: ... Pain... Crapmania...I....Crush!!!
After these though provoking words, Canceler tosses the mike down, heading out of the ring as Kazarian lays in the middle of the ring... and literally cries after a very quick squash.
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Post by respectmeordye3 on Aug 22, 2006 14:06:13 GMT -5
Sabu's music begins to play and he makes his way to the ring. A moment later "Do You Wanna Be A Hero?" begins to surge through the speakers and Singapore Caine makes his way to the ring--he is definetly ready for this match--and after last week's screwjob he has a lot of pent up rage to deal out.
the two men glare at each other as the bell rings starting the match and before he has a chance to respond, Sabu charges forward and clotheslines Caine out of the ring and to the floor below. Caine jumps to his feet and climbs back onto the edge of the ring and sucker punches Sabu right in the face and then he climbs back in and kicks Sabu in the gut before tossing him through the ropes and out of the ring in return.
Sabu climbs to the edge of the ring and Singapore Caine charges at him with a Spear but Sabu counters with a knee to the head at the last moment.
Sabu then mounts the top rope and leaps off it straight at the fallen Caine who nips up, catches Sabu in mid-leap and then gives him a back body drop to the canvas. Sabu counters with a kick straight to Caine's throat knocking him back into the ropes and then follows it up by charging straight at himbut Caine is able to counter by flipping him clear over his head and to the outside. Sabu however saves himself and lands deftly on the edge of the ring. He then spins Caine around to face him and then Sabu Suplex's them both out of the ring and off the edge of the ring and to the hard concrete floor below. At the last minute however Caine counters with a bridge and lands on his feet and follows through with the Suplex slamming Sabu gut first on the crowd barricade!
The crowd begins to chant "Holy Crap!" over and over as Caine begins to pound relentlessly on his opponents back and spine. Until Sabu counters with a headbutt directly to Caine's abs. He then follows it up by standing up on the crowd barricade and giving Caine a Sit-down Splash to the concrete floor below.
Sabu then rolls into the ring so he won't be counted out.
Caine slowly rolls to his feet and begins to climb in as Sabu watches and readies himself from inside the ring.
Suddenly a guy wearing an obviously self-made "Singapore Caine" T-shirt storms out, grabs Caine's singapore cane and upon entering the ring sneaks up on Sabu and clobbers him with it right across the head!
and right in full view of the referee who immedietly calls for the bell and rules Sabu the winner of the match as a result of a DQ.
Singapore Caine is furious and begins to throw things around in his rage.
The camera follows the mysterious attacker backstage as he walks down the hall and comes to a specific room.
He knocks on the door and it opens to reveal Clem Chowder who is grinning broadly "So did you do exactly what I told you to do?" he asks the mysterious stranger.
" Hey man, I did it exactly the way you told me to---I clobbered Sabu and made Caine lose his match-boy was he mad!"
Clem laughs. and then he pulls out his wallet and hands the mysterious stranger a wad of thousand dollar bills.
"Good." he says "Then here's the six thousand dollars I promised you for the job.
"Thanks, man-pleasure doing biz with ya" the stranger says chuckling. The two shake hands and then they part ways.
The camera-man follows the stranger down the hall. Just as he's about to go through the exit door however Sabu steps in front of him.
"You hit me." he says. "You hit me for money."
The stranger grins uneasily "L-l-look S-s-s-sab-b-bu, what 's the big deal when you c-consider the b-big picture? you won, and that's all th-that r-really matters right?"
Sabu slowly shakes his head. "Wrong. that is not all that matters." without warning he suddenly kicks the stranger in the nuts sending him falling to the floor. Sabu then follows up with at least ten kicks to the stranger's gut as he lies on the stadium floor in pain.
Then crouching down he takes the bundle of thousand dollar bills from the stranger and rips them into confetti sized pieces of paper before he tosse them on top of the injured stranger and storms off in search of Clem.
Clem however has just seen what happened to his "hitman" so to speak courtesy of a moniter in the hallway and it doesn't take much brainpower to realize that Sabu is clearly coming for him next.
Clem decides it's a good time to beat feet, and runs to his car not even bothering to stop by his room and pick up his stuff.
jumping into his car he frantically starts it up and manages to peel out just as Sabu appears in the garage and throws a steel coffee mug at the retreating Clem Chowder.
The mug flies through the air and smashes a small hole in the rear window, bounces on the seat and then flips through the air and smashes the rearveiw mirror to nothingness before coming to a rest under Clem's feet and startling him long enough to go into a tailspin. The passenger side door flings open and as he tries to get the car back onto the road and pointed in the right direction he slams the passenger side against the frame of the garage door opening and accidentally tears the passenger side door off in the process before the car tailspins again and Clem is finally able to get the car back on the road, and in the right direction, and Clem proceeds to take off---albeit in a destroyed classic car and totally sweet, but wrecked ride.
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Sajoa Moe
Patti Mayonnaise
Did you get that thing I sent ya?
A man without gimmick.
Posts: 39,683
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Post by Sajoa Moe on Aug 22, 2006 14:44:04 GMT -5
Cut to a nearby hospital. Great Hugo is lying in a bed nursing his injuries from the brutal attack by Chance Confidence.
Hugo: I don't belong here. I should be back at the EWT Arena, training and preparing for a match. But EWT management suggests that I stay here as a precaution, because of what happened at the hands of Chance Confidence.
Chance, you may have won this round. You jumped me from behind and got the advantage, and yes, you may have put me in the hospital, but by Crap-A-Mania, I will be back in that ring. And this time, you won't be able to jump me from behind, because wherever you turn, I'll be there. And I'll have a fistful of barbed wire that's waiting to introduce itself to your head. Wounds heal, and this Sunday, I'll be fresh, I'll be ready, and I'll be strong.
This week, I've been given a match with EWT legend Mercenary. I will consider it a great honor to be in the ring with a former Tri-State Champion. When I was in Alpha Omega Puro, I was the largest man in the promotion. I was a three-time Millennium Champion. I look forward to clashing with a fellow powerhouse. Before the week is over, I will be out of this hospital, training and preparing for our showdown. I look forward to it.
Joe Ragnal. Soon-to-be former Toolshed Champion. I admire the work of you and your siblings. But as soon as I dispatch Chance Confidence, I'm coming for your title. And you'll see this Sunday at Crap-A-Mania that I have a very high threshold for PAIN.
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Post by Poker Joker on Aug 22, 2006 21:47:58 GMT -5
(The crowd is making their way back to their seats with their refreshments in hand. They scury back, expecting to see some more great E.W.T. wrestling action. Suddenly, the public address speakers start to blast familiar theme music. The people hurry back to their seats, and erupt into a frenzy of boos and insults! The music playing is "Like A Virgin" by Madonna, and that can mean only one person. Down the asile comes Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark. He's wearing his yellow-and-green tights and a new t-shirt that reads "Virgins Need Love Too!" on the front and "Fight Virgin Discrination" on the back. He has an arrogant smile on his face as he walks down the asile and steps into the ring. The fans holler their insults and cat-calls as Billy borrows a microphone from the ring announcer. He walks to the middle of the ring and starts addressing the crowd as his music dies out.) *BU*: Recently, I found myself on the receiving end of a brutal attack! About a week ago, I had a gauntlet match against King Choculon's three jesters. Despite the odds being against me, I took each of those jesters in their ridiculous costumes, and proved them to be bigger fools that what they were dressed like. One by one, I showed those second-rate punks just why I am considered one of the top competitors in the E.W.T. However, once I was done proving my superiority over them, I was assaulted from behind by the biggest second-rate punk of them all... King Choculon, himself. (The crowd gives an applause for the idea of Billy getting beaten up on. Billy stops for a second and looks over the crowd. He bites his lip for a moment before continuing on.) *BU*: Normally, this kind of treatment, which was CLEARLY an act of Virgin Discrimination, would send me into a frenzy. But in this case, I welcomed it because it told me two things. First off, it told me that King Choculon doesn't want to wait until Crap-A-Mania to get me in the ring. Instead, he wants me in the ring, right now! But secondly, it also told me that King Choculon is afraid to meet me face-to-face. (The crowd starts to boo Billy, again. The camera gets a shot of a fan holding a sign that says "The King Will Crown The Virgin!" before cutting back to Billy, who is simply nodding his head in the ring.) *BU*: That's right! He's afraid to meet me face-to-face. And frankly, who can blame him? After all, I am a former Tag-Team champion, AND I am a former Tri-State Champion, AND I'm one of the hottest superstars in the E.W.T. today! With credentials like that, who can blame him for not being too excited about having to face me at Crap-A-Mania. Well, with that in mind, I decided to be a nice guy for once. I decided to put all of the garbage between King Choculon and myself aside, and I invited him to come out here, tonight. That way, he and I could have a little chat prior to our match, and I could try and help him get rid of those pre-match jitters that he must be feeling. So, without further ado, let me introduce you to my guest and opponent at Crap-A-Mania.... King Choculon! (Billy gestures to the entrance ramp as a royal march starts playing over the loud speakers. The crowd turns and looks anxiously down the ramp, expecting to see Chocula walk down it. However, after a few seconds, a stage hand comes out carrying something on a pillow. He hurries it on down to Billy Ubermark, who's waiting in the ring, and hands it to him. Its a SOCK PUPPET with a face drawn on it, complete with buttons for eyes and a plastic crown taped to the top. The crowd starts hurdling out disappointed boos as Billy slips the sock puppet onto his hand. He smiles broadly as he holds it up and shows it to the audience, and then begins his "interview" with it.) *BU*: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! KING CHOCULON!!! (The crowd boos, again, as Billy chuckles to himself. After a few seconds, he forces himself to get a straight face and begin his segment.) *BU*: King Choculon, how are you doing, today? (Billy starts talking for the puppet using a high-pitched, squeeky voice.) *SOCK PUPPET*: Hi, Billy! I'm... I'm doing OK, but I'm a little nervous. (Billy looks at the sock puppet with concern.) *BU*: Nervous? Why ever would you be feeling nervous, King Choculon? *SOCK PUPPET*: Well,... I'm... I'm kind of emberassed to say. *BU* (in a comforting tone of voice): Oh, its ok, your majesty. You can tell me. *SOCK PUPPET*: Well,... well, its because of all the mean things I've done to you. *BU* (mocking suprise): Really?! You mean, like forcing me into a gauntlet match with those three jokers of yours, and then attacking me after the match? *SOCK PUPPET*: Uh... yeah. Yeah, stuff like that. *BU*: Well, why did you do that to me in the first place, King Choculon? *SOCK PUPPET*: Because... Because I wanted to soften you up for our match at Crap-A-Mania. *BU*: Soften me up? *SOCK PUPPET*: Yeah. Soften you up. You see, even though you're a virgin, I know you're a better wrestler than me. Heck, you were the main reason why we ever became Tag-Team Champions in the first place. I was just riding your coattails to the titles. And... and also, you were one of the greatest Tri-State Champion in the history of the E.W.T. You're twice the wrestler I'll ever be. I figured I don't stand a chance against you, so I thought I'd soften you up ahead of time. *BU*: Oh, King Choculon. You shouldn't feel that way. I mean, I know I'm better than you, but I can't be THAT much better than you, can I? Weren't you a champion, too, at one time? *SOCK PUPPET* (solomnly): Yeah. *BU* (sounding cheery): That's right! You were! Weren't you the Gene Rayburn Memorial Champion? *SOCK PUPPET*: Yeah.... but that wasn't a REAL championship. That was just some stupid title I made up. *BU* (frowning): Oh, yeah. So it was. (Billy suddenly gets cheery, again) Well, what about being the first ever Tool Shed Champion? *SOCK PUPPET*: Yeah, I was that. But that title doesn't carry the prestige that any of the belts you've had did. *BU* (suprised): Really? Why not? *SOCK PUPPET*: Because that title didn't involve any real skill or athletic ability. All I ever had to do was hit people over the head with chairs and stuff. *BU*: Really? All you did was just hit people over the head with weapons? *SOCK PUPPET* (sadly): Yep. *BU*: You mean like this?
(Billy takes the microphone he's holding and hits the sock puppet in the nose with it.) *SOCK PUPPET*: OW! *BU*: Or how about like this? (Billy hits the sock puppet in the face, again.) *SOCK PUPPET*: OW! Don't do that! *BU*: Or how about like THIS? (Billy starts hitting the sock puppet in the face multiple times with the microphone. Each time he pulls the mic back, he makes another little comment for the sock puppet.) *SOCK PUPPET*: OW!..... Stop!....You're hurting me!.... Please!.... I'm begging you! *BU*: So was it like that? *SOCK PUPPET!* (whining): Yes!... Ow!.... Just like that!... Oh, I think you broke my nose. (Billy laughs at his own bit for a couple of seconds while the crowd rumbles with disapproval. The camera catches someone throwing a crumpled-up popcorn bag at Billy, who simply dodges it and continues the sketch.) *BU*: Wow! So that's all you did to become the Toolshed Champion. Well, maybe I AM that much better than you, after all. *SOCK PUPPET*: That's right, Billy. I think you are. *BU*: Wow! Well, what about all of those things you said about me, like how YOU were the one to carry us to the Tag-Team Championships, and all that? *SOCK PUPPET*: I.... I'm sorry about all of that, Billy. None of it was true! *BU* (shocked): It wasn't true?! But that means that those were LIES! *SOCK PUPPET* (sadly): Yeah. Yeah, I guess it does. *BU*: Oh, King Choculon. I'm VERY disappointed in you. If my mother had caught me lying when I was a little boy, she'd have washed my mouth out with soap. *SOCK PUPPET*: Oh no! That sounds terrible! *BU*: Yep. In fact, I think that's what I'm going to do to you, right now. (Billy puts the microphone down and reaches into his tights. He produces a large bar of soap and shows it to the audience. He then places the soap into the mouth of the sock puppet.) *BU*: So, King Choculon. How does that soap taste? *SOCK PUPPET*: *Billy makes some muffled squeaks for the puppet* *BU*: What did you say? *SOCK PUPPET*: *Billy makes more muffled squeaks for the puppet* *BU*: What was that? (Billy takes the bar out of the puppet's mouth.) *SOCK PUPPET*: I said, I'm sorry about all of this Mr. Ubermark! I'm very, very sorry! I knew this would happen, and I'm verry, very sorry! *BU*: You're sorry? *SOCK PUPPET*: Uh-huh! *BU*: But you knew this would happen? *SOCK PUPPET* uh-huh! (Billy gets a confused look on his face) *BU*: But, King Choculon, if you knew that this would happen, why did you do it? *SOCK PUPPET*: I... I did it because.... well.... because you're a VIRGIN! *BU* (shocked): What?! You did it because I'm a VIRGIN?! *SOCK PUPPPET* (sounding emberassed): That's right... and... and I just can't stand the fact that a Virgin is a better wrestler than I am! *BU* (disappointed): Really?! Oh, King Choculon, I'm VERY upset with you. Do you know what this means? This means you're guilty of Virgin Discrimination! *SOCK PUPPET*: Virgin Discrimination?! Oh no! *BU*: Oh, yes, King Choculon! Virgin Discrimination happens any time you pick on someone simply because of their sexual status. *SOCK PUPPET*: Oh, no! That's terrible! *BU*: Yes, it is. But, do you know what? *SOCK PUPPET*: What? *BU*: Its not NEARLY as terrible as the things that happen to people who discriminate against virgins. *SOCK PUPPET*: Really? What happens to them? *BU*: This... (With that Billy rips the eyes off of the sock puppet, and then smashes the little crown on its head. He then yanks the puppet off his hand, throws it to the floor and stomps on it a couple times. When he's all done, the picks the microphone back up, and looks down at the sock puppet.) *BU*: That's what happens to people who discriminate against virgins, King Choculon. Do you have anything else to say for yourself? *SOCK PUPPET*: Ooooo!..... Oooooo! Please, Mr. Ubermark! Don't hurt me, anymore! Please! Please! Please! Don't hurt me, anymore! *BU*: OK, King Choculon! I won't hurt you anymore..... today! But I want you to remember this. Do you know why? *SOCK PUPPET*: Why? *BU*: Because that's just a small, SMALL sample of what's going to happen this Sunday at Crap-A-Mania! And I'm going to enjoy it about 20-times more, because I'll be doing that to the REAL King Choculon.... only its going to be much, MUCH worse! (With that Billy picks up the sock puppet. He stretches it out and then flings it out of the ring.) *BU*: Ladies and gentlemen! Let's hear it for King Choculon! (The fans erupt with boos.) *BU*: And let's hear it for the guy who will be kicking that over-sized sock puppet's ass this Sunday.... ME!!! The fans boo violently as Billy smiles broadly. "Like A Virgin" starts playing, again, and Billy climbs out of the ring as the fans taunt and insult him. Billy pays them no mind, however, and just keeps smiling as he makes his way up the asile toward the back. The scene fades to black as Billy disappears behind the curtain at the top of the ramp.)
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