Spyke the Pacers Fan
El Dandy
Still hates himself for missing the last episode of Murder She Wrote
Go Indiana!
Posts: 8,061
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Post by Spyke the Pacers Fan on Apr 21, 2007 2:51:13 GMT -5
Lillian Garcia: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall!"
"Tier" by Rammstein starts up and Spyke, who nobody, including the audience and anybody in EWT hasn't seen in a while. Spyke is looking pretty haggard and looks to have lost signifigant weight. He walks to the ring, looking bored and pretty out of it. He makes nothing of the boos coming his way.
Lillian: "From Stockholm, Sweden, weighing in at... 194 lbs?! Is that right?! Uhh, Spyke... Johannson..."
There is a murmur in the crowd. 29 lbs. in a matter of a week is rather odd. Spyke waits for his opponent.
Lillian: "And his opponent, WWE Legend, Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart!"
The Anvil makes his way to the ring. Spyke jumps him before he makes it into the ring. Spyke leaps over the top rope and hits a big flying splash. Spyke lays into Neidhart with several pounding rights and lefts. Spyke picks him up and rolls him into the ring.
*bell dings*
Spyke wastes no time, going on the offensive. Spyke stomps Neidhart a few times before picking him up and whips him into the corner, hitting a few soccer kicks to Neidhart's thighs. Spyke takes two steps back and hits a flipping dropkick, connecting with his chest. Neidhart gets the wind knocked out of him and drops to his knees. Spyke hops over him and climbs to the 2nd rope. Spyke jumps off and drops a knee to the back of Neidhart's neck. Neidhart drops to the mat and Spyke flips him over onto his back for a pin attempt.
1!
2!
3... NO!
Neidhart barely kicks out. Spyke rolls out of the ring and goes for a chair. Spyke takes the chair that Lillian is sitting in, and gets back into the ring. Spyke is about to whack Neidhart with the chair, but something is holding him back. Spyke tries to nail The Anvil with the chair, but for some reason, cannot bring himself to do it. Spyke turns around and drops the chair to the outside of the ring. This allows Neidhart to sneak up behind Spyke and nail him with a forearm shot to the back of his skull. Neidhart whips Spyke into the ropes, and nails him with a clothesline on the rebound. Neidhart gets Spyke up for a suplex and hits it. Neidhart lifts up Spyke for a bodyslam, and drops him to the outside! The ref begins a 10 count.
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
6!
Suddenly, Spaz runs down to ringside and rolls Spyke into the ring, breaking the 10 count. Spaz then backs up the ramp, watching on. Neidhart holds the top rope as he stomps on Spyke's lower back. Neidhart builds up strength for one last big stomp... and gets nothing but canvas as Spyke rolls out of the way, and gets to his feet. Neidhart spins around and takes a swing, but Spyke ducks and hits a quick right-hander. Neidhart takes another swing, but Spyke ducks again and hits another right-hander. By this point, some of the crowd can be heard cheering, a very small portion, that is. Spyke bounces off the ropes behind him, and hits a running flying forearm on the rebound. Jim Neidhart is about ready to topple... aaaandd... SwedeDT!!! About 1/4 of the crowd pops for the move. Cover by Spyke.
1!
2!
3!
*bell dings*
Lillian: "Your winner, Spyke Johannson!
The same 1/4 of the crowd is still cheering, but is still overpowered by boos from the other 3/4. Spyke ignores both the cheers, and makes his way to the back. A cameraman zooms in on the "Gen. Tech 4 Life" tattoo on Spyke's upper-arm, but Spyke pushes the camera away. Spyke looks into the camera and says "History, in this case *points to tat*, will NEVER repeat itself."
Spyke retreats back behind the curtain as we fade to commercial.
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Post by Marcus Trunk on Apr 21, 2007 14:30:45 GMT -5
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
The 1-2-3 Kid emerges from the curtain to mild applause.
Announcer: Introducing first, weighing in at 195 pounds, the 1-2-3 Kid!
"For Those Who Fight Further" starts up as the crowd stands to applaud Marcus Trunk.
Announcer: And his opponent, weighing 310 pounds, Marcus Trunk!
Trunk makes his usual entrance and enters the ring as the bell rings.
Kid goes right after Trunk with a running crossbody, but Trunk catches him, walking around with Kid in his arms for a moment, before tossing Kid over his head with a fallaway slam. He goes over and picks up Kid, then presses him over his head. He carries Kid over to the ropes and tosses him clear out of the ring.
Trunk stretches out as Kid recovers on the outside. Kid climbs back in the ring and comes running at Trunk, but immediately finds himself the victim of a Trunk Buster.
1...2...3!
Announcer: Here is your winner...
Before the announcement can be made, the Plebes invade into the ring and come after Trunk, but Trunk dashes before he is attacked. Meanwhile, Rick Raskall appears at the top of the ramp, with the crowd booing him the whole way. One of the Plebes is accompanying him, carrying a duffel bag over his shoulder.
Once they make sure that Trunk has left the ring, the Plebes go over to check on Kid, who is still knocked silly from the Trunk Buster. The Plebe with the duffel bag reaches into the bag, and produces a black marker and some green spray paint. With the other Plebes holding him in place, he reaches down and scribbles a crude-looking goatee on Kid's face, then uses the spray paint to write "DX" on Kid's singlet. They then gather Kid to his feet, as Raskall removes his sunglasses to admire the work that his Plebes have done. Raskall orders the Plebes out of the ring, then for the timekeeper to ring the bell. As soon as the bell rings, Raskall rears back and superkicks Kid right in the chin! He goes down and makes a cover.
1...2...3!
Announcer: In this match between X-Pac and Rick Raskall, your winner is Rick Raskall!
Raskall shrugs his shoulders as he reattaches his sunglasses, and the Plebes escort him out.
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Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
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Post by Ass Dan on Apr 21, 2007 23:54:51 GMT -5
Backstage, TJT, Jack Jupiter, and Christopher Indigo are talking to each other while the Midnight Mystery is in the corner. Joe One walks in.
One: Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve called this huddle for you to be introduced to the next member of Minipax.
Thunder: You mean Smarky?
One: He’s not a member yet. He has yet to prove himself. No, I’m introducing a new man who is helping fund Oceania fight its war against Eastasia.
Jack Jupiter: I thought we were fighting Eurasia.
One: We are fighting Eastasia. We’ve always been fighting Eastasia.
Jack Jupiter: Oh, sorry. The names sound alike.
One: I would like to formally introduce Richard Clay.
Clay walks out. He is slightly taller than One and wears a purple vest. He speaks with a Liverpool accent.
Clay: Good evening, fellow Party members. I suppose you’re wondering why I’ve joined your group here in EWT. Well, as a private contractor for Oceania, I have decided that my skill in the art of wrestling is a good accent to my killions of dollars.
Terina: Killions?
Clay: Yes; I am a Killionare.
Terina: That’s not a number.
Indigo: Numbers are arbitrary. They have no true value. This man is a killionare.
Jack Jupiter: Uh, Mr. One?
One: Yes, Jack?
Jack Jupiter: I want to talk with you outside.
One and Jupiter the lesser walk out to a corridor. Clay can be seen shaking hands with the others.
Jack Jupiter: How did he get in?
One: Well, there was some red tape, and he had long arms in the Party, so…
Jack Jupiter: No, I mean…well, I thought…his kind…we’re allowed in Minipax.
One: What do you mean?
Jack Jupiter: I thought…we couldn’t have blacks in Minipax.
Joe One is shocked.
One: WHAT?
Jack Jupiter: I thought Minipax was one of….those groups.
One shakes his head.
One: Let me assure you that we in the Party do not discriminate based on a person’s skin colour. We judge entirely on character.
Jack Jupiter: Got it. Just curious.
One: I hope that was only curiosity.
The two walk back in.
One: So, how do you like Mr. Clay?
Thunder: He seems okay.
Clay: You’ll see that I’m MORE than okay when I step in the ring.
Suddenly, Smarky walks in with a cup of coffee.
Smarky: Here you are, Mr. One.
Joe One takes the coffee from Smarky. He takes a drink, notices something, and swallows.
One: Now, I’m no scholar of ice hockey, Smarky, but when did Wayne Gretzky wear the number 89?
Smarky: Sorry, sir. They ran out of cream.
One: I understand. When I was your age, I made plenty of mistakes.
Smarky: I’m the same age as you.
One: I stand by my statement.
Midnight: GARBLEFABMCJOECKS!
One: What did it say?
Jason Jupiter: He said he wants coffee, too.
One: Fine. How does it like it?
Midnight: ASGHOIWGOIHASDLKNWEGFPAWIBNEKLPOBPNIQWERNL!
Jason Jupiter: The same as he likes his women: strong, black, and pregnant.
One: Oh, that’s it. Huddle over.
Joe One exits the room.
Clay: I’ll have what Midnight’s having.
*COMMERCIAL BREAK*
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Spyke the Pacers Fan
El Dandy
Still hates himself for missing the last episode of Murder She Wrote
Go Indiana!
Posts: 8,061
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Post by Spyke the Pacers Fan on Apr 22, 2007 1:47:09 GMT -5
*Spyke is in the locker room area, watching tape of his last match, Spaz is shown on the monitor rolling Spyke back into the ring*
Spyke: "What the... what the hell? He just doesn't get it."
*knock at the door*
Spyke: "Go away!"
Woman's voice: "Spyke... it's me... we need to talk."
Spyke: "...Rachael?"
Rachael: "Yeah, can I come in?"
Spyke: "Umm, yeah."
Rachael: "Spyke, what has happened to you? You look like hell. Nobody has seen you for the past week and all of a sudden you show up looking worse than ever."
Spyke: "Rachael, it's just..."
Rachael: *slightly peeved* "What?! Just what?! You're still mad at Spaz about something that happened 3 months ago? You've had plenty of time to get over it, and Spaz is trying to make it up to you. He wants to be your friend again."
Spyke: "He's not..."
Rachael: *peeved* "Don't even finish that sentence. You need to get over yourself. You're acting like a stubborn child, and you are letting it affect you negatively. Have you even looked in the mirror lately?"
Spyke: "Well, uhh, no..."
Rachael: *calmer* "Well, take a look in the mirror, then let me know when this Spyke *pulls out 8 x 10 photograph* the Spyke I know... *sigh* and love... shows up again."
*Rachael drops the photo on the ground and promptly leaves the locker room. Spyke picks up the photo and stares at it. Spyke then looks at his mirror, then back at the photo.*
Spyke: "What... I..."
*Spyke sets the photo on a chair and walks out of the room, the camera zooms in on the photo: Spaz as World Champion, RLC as GND Champion, and Spyke as Toolshed Champion, celebrating in the ring. Fade to commercial*
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Post by crauswell on Apr 22, 2007 8:42:12 GMT -5
A WCW theme hits the Toomitron as the bell sounds, signaling for the next match.
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Sandy... Utah, weighing in at 240 pounds... Hardcore Hak!
Hak struts out from the back to a mild pop, wielding a trash can full of weaponry, including his infamous Singapore Cane. He heads down to the ring, rolling the trash can inside, then following soon after, indicating that he intends to get hardcore in this match. The crowd of course cheers this... then does a complete 180 as HUBOON Stomp picks up, as out from the back walks Crauswell... clad in that same robe, surrounded by his furry allies.
Announcer: Introducing the opponent, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 272 pounds... Crauswell!
Crauswell steps aside, as his skunk mate walks in front of the crowd, displaying the stolen Ox Division belt, to even further booing. The furry than simply drops the belt atop the ramp-way, as Crauswell wants absolutely nothing to do with it still. They continue down the ramp-way, but before they even make into the ring, Hak chucks the garbage can right at Crauswell's skull! Maulotov however steps in front and catches the thing with no effort whatsoever. He then drops the can to the ground, giving it a mighty kick and sending it flying back into the ring! Hak dives out of the way, grabbing his cane and quickly readying himself. Crauswell simply removes his robe, not at all intimidated, as he hands it over to one of his allies, hopping onto the apron and climbing inside. As soon as he does, Hak cracks him right in the skull with with his cane, staggering his opponent! He continues swinging wildly, connecting a few times, but Crauswell seeming to feel little pain from it, though clutching his skull slightly. Hak rears back, going for a final swing, which gets ducked as Craus then reaches out, snatching the cane away and simply breaking it over a knee!
Hak looks on with quite a look of shock as he instead starts unleashing some swift fists, staggering his opponent back into the ropes, then backing up, charging for a clothesline! Crauswell however catches him by the legs in mid run, hoisting him up, then planting him into the mat with a High Angle Spine-buster! Hak groans, as Craus rolls him over, driving a series of knee drops right into the back area, then backing up, yanking Hak up by the neck, then unleashing a vicious series of throat thrusts, each one sending Hak stumbling back, the furry then kicking him hard in the chest, hoisting him up on his shoulders, dropping him in a spinning rack neck-breaker! Hak groans, clutching at the neck as Crauswell walks over, sitting him up, the delivering a few stiff kicks to the throat, before pulling him up, right into a flapjack, dropping Hak again neck first across the top rope. Hak gasps in pain, as he clutches desperately at the area. Crauswell immediately grabs him from behind, hoisting and launching him with a release Dragon Suplex! Hak hits the mat, clutching desperately at that same neck as Crauswell advance again, pulling him up and shoving him into the turnbuckle, hitting a quick-fire series of shot directly into that same area, Hak gasping for air now as he drops to both knees, Crauswell immediately grabbing him again, pulling him right into a Dragon Sleeper! Hak flails wildly, trying to wriggle out, but the furry refuses to let go, holding with one arm, using the other to chop viciously at that already damaged throat, before pulling him up, turning around and launching him with that Sleeper Suplex! Hak lands again on that neck... squirming in pain, as Craus stomps over, dropping down and simply clinching on the Crossface Gryphon Wing... as Hak almost instantly submits!
The bell sounds and this one is all but over.
Announcer: Here is your winner by submission... Crauswe...
Craus however isn't done, as he walks over, grabbing a piece of that broken cane and smashing it right into Hak's throat, as he coughs up blood, absolutely filled with agonizing pain. The furry simply bashes him in the throat again and once more, knocking him flat to the mat. He tosses the cane away, reaching down and dipping a finger in this blood... ripping off Hak's shirt and writing the same "Extinct" across, before pulling him up by the throat, as he kicks the trash can out of the ring, signaling for something, Rabido grabbing and setting it up right outside the ring as Craus hoists Hak up, charging and Beak Bustering over the top rope, sending his limp form crashing into the can! The crowd boos massively at this as the furry drops to both knees, spreading his wings slowly, then rising up and making a simple throat slashing motion, as HUBOON Stomp starts up once again, the group simply exiting the ring area, half heartedly scooping the Ox Division belt on their way backstage, as the crowd just looks on in pure horror at this sight, Hak's body motionless as he lays inside, stood on his head.
We quickly fade to commercial
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Bedlam LadyD
Samurai Cop
Is a WSX Cupcake. BOOOOOOOM!!
Posts: 2,452
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Post by Bedlam LadyD on Apr 22, 2007 10:26:30 GMT -5
Joe Ragnal is on his cell phone, pacing around backstage. "Look, it's a freaking locker! How hard is it to find a locker to fit into the caging for the FUN House match, huh?! Well, at least tell me you got the sheetrock!"
Synthy steps from around the corner. She's hidden beneath her sunglasses as usual, but has an oddly placated look on her face. Stepping up, she steps up behind Joe. Her arms are loosely crossed, and she is looking vaguely cheerful.
Joe stops pacing around and sees his pupil yelling at the people he's onn the phone with. "Listen, Jerry, can I call you back? I got someone who wants to talk to me." After a few seconds, he hangs the phone up, and looks at Synthy. "Well, that was some work you did today."
Synthy half-smiles. "Who says I wanna talk to you? Maybe I've decided to go on bigger and better things now that I'm a television star and all. Wonder if I'm gonna get hit with any lawsuits? .....Who am I kidding? It's not like I didn't get a ridiculously large paycheck recently.”
"You got a large paycheck?" Said Joe as if he never got one ever.
Synthy coughs and smiles. "Remember who the resident non-'Harlot' is now? They ended up saying it, as in, your little swerve, was legal. Therefore, I get the cash to pay for my new Dance Dance Revolution machine and then some. Plus, additional money for appearing on that disgrace of a show." She takes a swig of her bottle. "With that cash, I should probably give you back your sunglasses. But I think I dig'em too much."
Joe smacks himself in the forehead. "Right, I forgot about that. And, glad you dig the sunglasses. They fit you alright?"
"They adjusted easily. Besides, what I really wanna know is what did you think of my...*AHEM* ... antics today? I had fun doing what I did, especially when I realized I'd split her lip open....Uh....but still. Your opinions?"
Joe shrugs his shoulders, then nods. "The complain and/or rude female had it coming to her, that's all I can say." Joe then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a mini-can of Pringles. "So how're things with you and Juri?"
Synthy peers over her sunglasses. "Actually, haven't seen her since she ran off a little bit tipsy. I'm kind of worried as to what damage she did in the meanwhile....She hasn't said anything to you, has she?"
"Hm...not that I can think of, no." He said, taking five Pringles into his mouth, then proceeding to talk with the mout full. "THough, still, this isn't something to get upset with her over. I mean, she's tipsy. She's drunk. Ain't no way she's gonna remember telling Chad or myself that you dig us."
Synthy continues to peer over her sunglasses. "I dunno....I doubt she would of, but the fact she had like, three Guinness and asked if I was a lesbian makes me wonder. Besides, chances are, if she didn't ask you, she didn't ask him."
"Well, I didn't hear her ask, so we're good." He takes a few more chips. "But just for curiosity's sake...are you?"
Synthy turns her infamous light-pink color. "How the hell...why won't people get the message?" She takes a deep breath, and decides against whatever violent tendency she was leaning toward. "I hardly know the man. The only thing that really springs to mind is his ladder match against that Cassinova dude."
"Actually, I was talking about the lesbian part."
Synthy's face twitches, even to the point her sunglasses jump slightly askew. "NO. There is nothing wrong with it, but I am not. Strictly speaking, I'm straight, but not particularly interested in chasing after the male gender at the moment. One particular wax-faced jackass used me to the point where really, I'm essentially asexual."
"Just checking." He takes another Pringle out and commences to eat it. "So, you were saying that guy used you...is that how you became you?" He asked, circling his hand at Synthy in general.
Synthy slaps her forehead and runs her hand through her hair in a solid, fluid moton. "It's complicated. I've always been seriously off-beat, but~ ultimately, ...no." There's a hesitant pause, as if she were thinking for a moment. Instinctively, she hides her left hand in her pocket.
"I was just wondering. I've had a few friends that have had scarring relationships before. They pretty much changed their lives, sometimes for the better, others for the worst." Joe rubs his fingers together to get the saltiness of the chips off his fingers. "But look, if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. I can respect other people's privacy. But just know one of these days, those secrets are gonna come out, and in the way you least expect them. Like when Chrysta revealed she was Linda's sister."
Synthy's eyes reflect understanding. "I'm sure that came as a big shock. But, trust me, Mr. Innovation of Fun, I have my own clandestine history. And I do intend to keep it secret. I think it'd hurt me all too personally to even admit that part actually happened. I'm not in denial, I know what happened, but I just don't particularly feel like parting with what it was."
"Nah, I getcha. All it was was a bad experience." Feeling the need to change the subject, Joe added, "Just like how the FUN House'll be a bad experience for Chad."
Synthy can't help but grin at the match title. "What'cha gonna do? Hit him with a seltzer bottle?
Joe just waves her off. "Nah, nah...that's been done before."
Synthy shakes her head, the expression of pain now past, her face is playful. "Stuff him in a locker?'
"That's a good possibility, what with the new format. I even have a few other ideas I'm looking to surprise Chad with."
Synthy rubs her eyes. "As long as it doesn't become a WCW type of gimmick match, ya should be fine. After all, you invented the damn thing."
"Ha!" Laughed Joe. "trust me, that ain't happening. But the last match was me and Mike, and we tore the house down!"
Synthy starts walking away, talking over her shoulder and once again gesturing for him to come along. "Ragnally radical, I suppose. I really hope you haven't lost a match in your own invention. What kind of manager would you be then?"
Following behind, he raises a finger up. "Well, actually, I lost to Mike. But hey, it was a loss with HONOR, yanno what I mean?"
"Because it was against your brother? I think I'd feel a little bitter toward my lil' sister or big brother if I lost to them...but, then I'd just win something against them, thus making all right in the world.."
"Funny, you should talk to Chocula about that. I beat him in the first House, then he beat me a month later."
Synthy shrugs, and looks around a corner before heading onward. "Tooth for a tooth, eye for an eye, and all of that cliche nonsense."
"Yeah, I hear ya. Hopefully Chad won't need an eye for an eye when I'm done with him."
Synthy laughs slightly. "It doesn't really matter to me if you two decide to elope in Los Vegas as long as he doesn't become my stalker or something. Hell, have you HEARD have of the stupid crap that circulates around the lockerroom?"
"You wanna talk rumors? I heard Tom Cruise is gay."
"Wouldn't be surprised in all honesty. Unless the guy is a complete metrosexual or has had a very good stylist, well....Eh. Oh, what about that stupid one about green M & Ms? Seriously, for how long that one has been around, you'd think people would know better." Synthy steps into the cafeteria located toward the back of the building.
Joe looks at Synthy with a bit of confusion. "What, that green M&M's can give me a boner?"
Synthy pauses mid step and falters. "....I was actually thinking the one where simply worked as aphrodisiacs....and maybe a bit too much information on your part, Joe."
"Uh, heh, good point." Joe said, scratching the back of his head. "Tell you what. You go enjoy whatever food they're serving today, and I'll meet you later once I get in contact with the pie company."
"You call their stuff food? Do raccoons happen to inhabit your brain? I just happen to get pre-packaged junky goodness." Synthy blinks and shrugs. "Whatever, but hey, get a banana cream pie in the name of me, alright? I'll see ya after you're business is finished."
Joe's eyes shift around, in the sense he just said something wrong. "Um, alright, see you then." He salutes Synthy off, and runs off.
She rolls her eyes, and continues on into the cafeteria. Her mind is set on something that will totally clog her arteries, preferably with chocolate.
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Post by Tha Kid Joker on Apr 22, 2007 11:21:48 GMT -5
We go backstage where Sum Guy is standing by with Cassinova. Cass yawns once as Sum Guy stares into the camera.Sum Guy: Hey, I'm Sum Guy and I think Avril Lavigne catches a lot more crap than she should! Cassinova: And I'm Cassinova... and I have lost what little respect I had for you, just from that statement. Sum Guy: Fair enough. Anyway, Cass, have you finally decided who you want to accompany you in your match against Crauswell at Crap-A-Mania IV? Cassinova: Well, I did... but unfortunately your mother wasn't available, so I'm a guy short. There's an awkward silence between the two. Sum Guy raises an eyebrow, and Cass sighs before taking out a pad and a pen.Cassinova: "Yo Momma" jokes... ( crossing something off the list) No... He puts away the pen and pad, before looking at Sum once more.Cassinova: All jokes aside, yeah, I have a few people in mind. All of which are twice as capable as the Happy Muppet Hour Crauswell calls a team. He thinks that he can take me with those kids from Little Bear? He must've been eating those cookies from that blue monster guy. As he says this, Cookie Monster darts across the screen yelling, "Cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie..."
Cass trips him while still looking at the camera, causing Cookie Monster to do a complete front-flip and crash loudly somewhere off camera. Other than that, neither Cass nor Sum Guy acknowledge that that just happened.Cassinova: It's almost a shame. Duck Dodgers and his crew of jolly misfits walk around here like they own the place, yet have no idea of what kind of slaughter they're walking into. The Extinction Chamber? What? I'm all about Extinction Chambers! Hell, I fought in three of them last night! You're going to have to come up with something better than that if you want to put me out. I could take you and your entire pep squad with one arm tied behind my back, a blindfold, ( by now, the fans have started to catch on and begin to say the phrase with him) and five Brooklyn thugs shooting at me from ringside. ...And how convenient? I happen to have one of those thugs right here. Allow me to introduce the first member of my team... At this, a black man sporting long, baggy, jean shorts, a T-Shirt, a du-rag, an NY cap, and a bandana around his mouth--all of which are light blue, walks into the camera frame. He is fully accessorized with a flashy watch, a large diamond ring, a jewel-encrusted bracelet, large diamond stud earrings, and a chain with a flashy pendent bearing the letters: MP.Cassinova: Representing "Bed-Stuy Do or Die" in Brooklyn, New York, and weighing in at 230 lbs... Mista Phreeze! Oh, and just to show how much higher I regard my friends and teammates than how Crauswell B. Ware regards his, I'm going to actually let you all know what to look out for in the match, so they aren't just random lumberjacks that no one cares about. And when I say, "What to look out for", I mean, the kind of moves that Crausfail and the Fail-ettes will be subject to. First off, Phreeze's main move he uses to take your head off is a surprise superkick that he calls the Chin Chilla.... Sum Guy: That's pretty clever... Phreeze: I know. And next time you interrupt Cass, you'll find out how hard it is to wake up when you're dead. Sum Guy: ... ... Cassinova: Man, I should keep you around all the time. Anyway, Crauswell's merry squad of back-up dancers should also be prepared to be introduced to death with two other moves: Phreeze's shoulder powerbomb turned into a piledriver: The Outro, and his crazy spotty death move: Double Homicide. Sum Guy slowly and cautiously raises his hand.Cassinova: What? Sum Guy: ...What's the Double Homicide? Phreeze: Okay, you know the Ocean Cyclone Suplex thing, where ol' boy would put you on his shoulders like a death device, and then drop you backwards on your head? Sum Guy: Wow... they let you do that? Phreeze: Chea... well, I do a jumping version of it. Then I keep the ass-beating comin' by rolling through with it, putting them in a wheelbarrow, and dropping them on their head with a wheelbarrow piledriver. Sum Guy: So... you nail a jumping OC Suplex, and then hit them with a Cradle Driver. Phreeze: You aren't as dumb as Cass keeps telling me. Sum Guy: Why, thank you! I keep telling people that... Sum is cut off once he actually imagines the Double Homicide, and lets out a loud "Owww!!!" Cass snickers at him and continues the introduction.Cassinova: I see you just thought about it. Indytastic, isn't it? Anyway... my second person is one I really don't know much about. I had the displeasure of fighting him once a while back, and knew he'd be the perfect powerhouse for this team. So, let me introduce a man who claims to hail from the depths of the abyss. He weighs 280 lbs. of pure, unadulterated death metal... The Reaper! Sum Guy looks around, wondering why no one appears. Since apparently he can't competently breathe and turn his head at the same time, he accidentally stumbles backwards...
...Right into a tall man in a hooded cloak. The hood is up, so his face can't be seen, but a lot of long, black hair flows out of it. The man holds a scythe and seems to stare through the soul of Sum Guy. Sum squeals like a little schoolgirl and runs over to hide behind Mista Phreeze. This causes Phreeze to growl, and Sum Guy hurriedly hides behind Cass. Cass grabs him and places him where he was in the beginning, shaking his head in disappointment.Cassinova: Get a hold of yourself, dude! He won't hurt you unprovoked! ...Well, maybe he will, but odds are you're faster than him. Anyway, I chose him for this team, because I needed somebody who was sheer strength. Plus, I was kinda outta money, and needed a person who would do this for free. Sum Guy: He's doing this for free? Cassinova: Yep. He doesn't talk, but I figured I earned his respect before, and plus, this is just an opportunity for him to hurt people. Also, it's not like he has to eat or anything. Sum Guy: He doesn't eat? Cassinova: Of course not, you dunce! He's like, a zombie that first appeared at the beginning of time. You actually think he eats normal food like us? Hell no! I think he thrives on blood, sorrow, and the fears of little Japanese children. I'm not entirely sure, though. Anyway... his signatures are The Grave Digger--a death valley driver, and the Hell Song--a vertebreaker. Sum Guy: ( scanning The Reaper) Aptly named. So... who's your third person? Cassinova: The easiest pick on my list... As he says this, a man of about 18 or 19 walks to the side of Cassinova. With short blonde hair, blue eyes, and a handsome face, he bears a stunning resemblance to Cass.Cassinova: Allow me to introduce... from the most beautiful town in the world, Los Angeles, California. Weighing 210 lbs... my spotmonkey brother, Christian Clearwater. Christian puts a hand on Cass' shoulder.Christian: Hold on bro, let me introduce myself. I doubt your voice would do a god like me justice. Crauswell's little Earth Day parade will most likely be subject to my Osaka Street Cutter--that's a reverse suplex into a stunner for those of you living under a rock: The LA Times. Cassinova: Well put. Well, I guess that's about it. Crauswell, I'll see you at... Sum Guy: Wait! What about your fourth member? Cassinova: I told you that we were a man short. I guess we'll just have to play man-down at Crap-A-Mania... Sum Guy: Well, you could always get somebody from the roster. Cassinova: Like who? Sum Guy: Like... uh.... Cassinova (mocking): Uh... uh... Sum Guy: Oh! How about Scurvy the Pirate! Cassinova (after a short pause): ...Who's Scurvy the Pirate? Sum Guy: ...The only guy on our roster dressed like a pirate... Another long, awkward silence passes.Cassinova: Wait... there's a guy on our roster dressed like a pirate? Sum facepalms.Cassinova: Eh... whatever. Either way, you just gave me an idea. I've got a phonecall to make... With that, Cass turns and walks away, holding his ribs as he does so. His crew follows soon after, each one individually looking at Sum Guy menacingly. Once they all leave (and once Sum stops cowering in fear), Sum turns towards the camera with an uneasy look).Sum Guy: Well, there you have it. I'm Sum Guy... and I think I need to change my pants... Sum Guy darts off-screen holding his crotch, as we...FADE TO COMMERCIAL
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Post by Mella Drom Attoc on Apr 22, 2007 12:21:26 GMT -5
*Camera swerves into a screen with a glamorous shot of a platinum-haired woman.*
*A monotonous man's voice speaks as the picture flashes various screenshots of the woman*
"Do to some circumstances involving the beloved actress Mella Drom Attoc, last week's schedule was turned upside down. However, rejoice fellow fans, as the time has finally come..tune in now for our priviliged preview of her new show."
The phrase "Evil Twins and Comas" scatters across the now-black screen in red letters.
*Cue a woman with a look of pure horror in her eyes. Her mouth is open in a big O and her eyes are comically bulging.*
"But...NO...You can't be serious! YOU JUST CAN'T BE! THEY TOLD ME YOU HAD DIED! From...from....that nasty accident last year!" The Platinum-blonde, the lovely Mella, is dramatic and excited.
*screen goes to a surfer-boy looking male. Good-looking, but smug. "Well, I suppose they lied to you my dear love! It's all a conspiracy to keep us apart! Damn your sister...I know she's the one behind all of this!"
"Darling, no! My DEAR sister would NEVER do anything so HEINOUS!! My beautiful sister would NEVER do anything so cruel...HOW can you even CONSIDER such a thing?!" Mella flings herself against the man, her head barely reaching his collarbone. Her fists hit his shoulders, and she pauses, a grimace of utter sorrow coming across her features.
"Love, Pixie, darling! I saw her in that motorboat! She was grinning like a madwoman! Face it my love! The woman despises any semblance of happiness you happen to achieve! She's a jealous wench, a harpy!" *He wraps her arms around her*
*Focus of the camera zooms to her face. Her eyes are wider then ever, and her mouth trembles with a 'Woe-Be-me type of style*
"Woe be me for this cruel FATE! What did I ever DO to deserve this?!" Tears bubble up in her eyes, and leaves streaks down her cheeks as she looks up at her once-pronounced dead lover. "Oh my DARLING-"
*Interruption by a door slamming open violently*
"YOU! Oh NO![/i]"
*cut back to the original images of her screen captures*
The same voice-over man from before starts to speak. "Wait'll you see the next part of 'Evil Twins and Comas'! Here are a few of the reactions to those whom have already viewed it:
"Her emotion makes me weep. She's such a powerful, amazing actress. ~ T. Cruis.
"Her voice makes me want to eat my music, as her incomparable tone renders my masterpeices to little value!~L. Songstra
Voice Over: So be sure to tune into next week!
*The camera fades as Mella's picture appears, a smile on her face as comely as possible*
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Apr 22, 2007 14:47:26 GMT -5
("Jingle Bell Rock" by some crappy nu metal band (pick one, they're all the same) comes on the PA as The Fink speechifies.) The Fink: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from the SOUTH pole (I never woulda thought of that ) and weighing in at a whole helluva lot.............Xanta Klaus!" (Xanta comes out from the back with his goodie bag to zero reaction whatsoever. He enters the ring and yells "Ho! Ho! Ho!" to which the crowd responds with cronic indifference. Next out comes the guy who's gimmick looks like genius in a bucket compared to Xanta Klaus.) The Fink: "And his opponent, being accompanied to the ring by PsyToni Tennille, from Los Angeles California..............The Daryl Dragon!" (Tennille comes out first and pumps up the crowd by doing an awkward "Raise The Roof!" gesture (Does anyone do that anymore?) and Daryl follows her out, stopping on the ramp to flash a cheesy grin. They head down the ramp and enter the ring to a decent sized pop. Tennille removes Daryl's cape and he hops up on the turnbuckles, sending both index fingers pointing upwards. Tennille exits the ring as the bell rings and ring a ding ding. Xanta and Daryl circle on another for a moment before going for a lockup, which Daryl responds with by kicking Xanta in the thigh with a major whack. Xanta flinches and Daryl kicks his other thigh to balance things out. Daryl snapmares Xanta over and hits the ropes, blasting Xanta in the back of the head with a dropkick. Daryl puts Xanta in a chinlock as Tennille cheers on Daryl from the outside. Xanta stands up and elbows his way out, hits the ropes only to be knee lifted in his enormous breadbasket flipping him over onto his back. Daryl hits the ropes himself and blasts Xanta with an elbow drop to the sternum. Xanta holds his chest and gets back up only to turn around and get two more stiff kicks to the thighs and and a turn around kick to the stomach that sends Xanta through the ropes and splatting on the arena floor. Xanta picks himself off the floor and turns around just in time to see Daryl fly over the top rope and take Xanta out with a Suicide Hat Dive. Daryl stands back up and raises his fist to the crowd, who are all chanting "HOLY HAT! HOLY HAT!" Daryl throws Xanta back into the ring and goes for a pin. 1....................... 2......................... Xanta kicks out. Daryl picks Xanta up and delives a Brain Buster. 1................. 2................... Kickout again. Daryl picks Xanta up again, this time hitting a Slingshot Powerbomb. 1....................... 2........................ Xanta kicks out a third time. Daryl whips Xanta into the turnbuckles and charges in but Xanta moves out of the way. What Xanta doesn't know is that Daryl hopped up on the second buckle and used his momentum to dropkick Xanta right in the mush. Xanta stumbles back wards and attempts to kick Daryl but his leg is caught and he's Dragon Screwed (HA! HA! HA! Me funny!). Xanta groggily stands up and that's when Daryl hooks him up and perfectly hits the Do That To Me One More Time. 1..................... 2...................... 3! The Fink: "Here is your winner...................The Daryl Dragon!" (Tennille enters the ring and she raises Daryl's arm in victory as "Love Will Keep Us Together" plays on. Meanwhile, in the audio/video trailer, the editor labels the tape for the next airing of EWT Superstars, everyone's favorite jobber squash show.)
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Post by Redface: Dispenser of Justice on Apr 22, 2007 18:43:26 GMT -5
*Synthy is outside. A few tools sit near her, like a shovel, and a very small, two-foot tree. She's alone in her work. It seems she's finding just the right spot to plant the thing. Redface enters and notices her working.*
Redface: You seem rather busy, what are doing?
Synthy: *stares up through her shades.* ...Who're you? *She stands up, having found a spot. She grabs the shovel*. ...And I'm planting.
Redface: First of, I'm Redface Rodgers, Secondly, Planting is a wastE of time, but that's just me.
SynthyEris: Waste of time? You realize plants only, you know, help you breathe and all of that useless stuff? *She shoveling as she says this.*
Redface: It's waxing boring, for one thing. yeah, it maybe be benefical for human excistance or whatever, but I have better things to do than plant trees like a tool.
Synthy: *laughs* A tool? Me? Where the faHELL have you been, you conservative, right-hand putz? Dude, calling me a tool is below even the lame scale.
Redface: Conservative? I don't even vote! I'm sure you think you look like a bad-ass with trendy-but-tragically-unhip shades and your little designer outfit, planting trees becuase you want people to think you give two craps about the environment, but to me you look like an awful big poser.
Synthy: Designer outfit? I made this myself..*She gestures toward her clothing, having been changed since the last time the audience saw her. She's wearing patch-pants and a silky black tanktop with red straps.* And the 'posers' phrase are for the losers who simply don't understand what Bohemian is. You big, ignorant doofus. *She's is halfway finished with the planting, her sneakers dirty, as are her hands and the edges of her pants.*
Redface: Oh Yeah, Make fun of my size. That's the way to win an arguement. The Boho look is for morons anyway
Synthy: *She adds the finishing touches to her tree. It's perfectly upright and she's proud of it.* Right, and people wonder why I don't associate with the human kind all of that often. Goons like you make me want to hurt something. And on that note, I have something else to attend to. Excuse me, Mr. Rodgers, but I have better things do deal with then yuppy, arrogant arseholes like you. *She dusts her hands off and walks away, shovel in tow.*
Redface: You're a yuppie, arrogant "arsehole", complain and/or rude female
Synthy: *turning around* WHAT?
Redface: I didn't say anything, so keep walkin'!
*Synthy Glares and continues walking*
Redface: *Nudging the tree with his foot* Yeah, that's right*
Synthy: *She turns around and chucks the shovel at him, which hits him in the back of the head* And don't touch my tree!
Redface: AUUGH! THAT HURT!
Voice-over: This Earth Day; plant a tree, arsehole. from all of us at EWT.
*fade to black*
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Post by brokenrose on Apr 22, 2007 18:52:17 GMT -5
*The "hidden" camera focuses on Juri in her locker room, holding an ice bag against her head. She has a cup of coffee in her hand and takes a sip. The look of disgust on her face does little to mask her hatred of coffee. Synthy, having refreshed herself with a nice, cold bottle of Sprite, spots the door to Juri's locker closed. She sees the light coming out from beneath the crack and sharply walks over to it. Knowing Juri must be inside nursing a nasty headache, she raps loudly on the 'Allo Moto' section with her knuckles. Juri winces*
Juri: Come in, Synthy.
*She steps lightly inside, her arms crossed, her face vacant*
Synthy:....Juri......
Juri: *takes another labored sip from her cup* ....eck.....What did I do...?
Synthy: *takes a quick drink of the bubbly liquid in her bottle and smirks very slightly* .....That's exactly what I'm wondering. Do you happen to remember the last thing ya said to me?
Juri: ....I remember insulting Liam.... then nothing
Synthy: *nods* ....I suppose I should refresh your memory, and I severely hope you remember what you did afterwards. I think someone's pride may be on the line. To roughly quote you; "I know what you did....I'ma go tell Joe and Chad that you like them!' and thusly, you ran off like a schoolgirl. You may have giggled. Also, before that, you implied I may have been a lesbian.
Juri: .....
*The look on her face shows her shock and then grief.*
Juri: ....ah....Synth... I'm so sorry... This is not what I wanted to do....
Synthy: *Her bottle slowly lowers and she carefully looks over at Juri. Facial expression still vacant* Juri. Don't bawl, or panic. Just explain to me what the faHELL you did.
Juri: ....I think I drunkenly told Chad that you digged him.....Oi
Synthy: *She slowly slides down the back of the all, and pushes the door closed* .......*She crosses her legs and takes off her sunglasses, staring directly at Juri* .......J, please tell me you're still a little tipsy...
Juri: *she lifts her head up to stare at Synthy* Yes, I sure look like I'm having fun here aren't I?
Synthy: I'm pretty damn sure you have no room to complain. Karma is all it is, Miss Moto. But.....holy frick...I wish it had been Joe you told. I could have cleared it up with him.... What was Chad's reaction? *no emotion still on her face, nor in her voice.*
Juri: *annoyed* What does Axel's crazy sister have to do with this?
Synthy: *her face visibly breaks into a grin and a slight snicker escapes. * The Zombie Chick's got nothing to do with it....Karma simply means a 'return' of past actions.
Juri: ...oh....I well I think I didn't stick around for his response.... What made me do that? I'm usually just in high spirits when under the drink...
Synthy: ..........Ehehe......*a somewhat, nervous, laugh escapes her, and she quickly drinks from her Sprite bottle*
Juri: *standing up* It was something to do with you.... You said so earlier!
Synthy: *looks up at Juri from her position on the ground* ..Maybe. Erm, Possibly.....could be?
Juri: * it clicks; her worried look changes into a cold stare* ....Syn?
Synthy: *blank look, but her voice takes on a tone of innocence* ....It wasn't my fault?
Juri: ....I thought you were a friend.... *she turns and sits back down.*
Synthy: *bites her lower lip* .......Would it help if I told you a good way to rid yourself of a hangover?
Juri: ......shoot....
Synthy: *tosses her Sprite bottle over and digs in her pocket for a small packet of Advil* Put these in that, shake it, drink it, and close your eyes for a minute.
Juri: *does so.* .....Now what?
Synthy: This is going to sound utterly ridiculous, but the last thing you need to do...is smack your forehead. Don't gimme that look....It waxing works, man.
Juri: ......you do it....
Synthy: *odd look* What, smack your forehead? Because I don't need too do the rest. I don't drink.
Juri: ....I know that.... You hit me... kay?
Synthy: *She stands up and calmly walks over to Juri.* This is one of the most downright bizarre moments I've had to do here yet. But...you can't attack me when I do it. ... *She rears back, and slaps Juri's forehead/temple rather stiffly*
*Juri rears back from the blow and stops herself from striking Synthy.*
Juri: ....whew.... I slightly better....
Synthy: *nods* ...Now we have to go fix that damage you did....Actually......*a somewhat devious grin appears...*
Juri: ....I thought slapping me would have taken of that...
Synthy: .....You know what? Since I now dub myself the Queen of Chaos around here...I sorta...maliciously want to know how this will pan out without us explaining what happened..
Juri: Ah, the easy pathway?
Synthy: I prefer 'devious' if you don't mind. I know I should feel bad for the poor guy, but in all honesty...I feel like this could end up rather fun for you and I. We both rather like seeing members of the opposite sex suffer, da? I don't know him, therefore, I can't bring myself to pity or sympathize for him. My mind is cruel like that.
Juri: ...maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do...
Synthy: Imagine him to be Axel then. Or Jobby, as it seems to be the case.
Juri: *flinches at the first name* I'll go with the latter maybe...
Synthy:.......Maybe I'm being too harsh?
Juri: If I maybe blunt, Synthy.
Synthy: Eh, go ahead. I guaran-damn-tee it won't hurt me all that much.
Juri: You can't stand those that make fun of you... Like Tyra... *she pauses to offer her hand for a high five.*
Synthy: *hits the high five and realizes the point* Oh. Oh wax. *She slaps herself* I have no idea what I was thinking...Still though. Maybe I can frustrations out elsewhere....
Juri: Well, there's always our opponents in the Trios Tournament... Am I the only one that hates it's "official" name?
Synthy: Hell naw. It's obvious whoever the immature person who came up with it has the humor level of a toddler. Or a child, if you feel like being generous. But hey, do we have any idea who our next opponents are? 'Cuz I really don't feel like facing those damn Draugr zombies.
Juri: Hmm... No idea. It seems like only a rocket scientist with help from aliens could figure it out.
Synthy: ...Aliens? .....Aren't Faboon and Zeleke supposedly aliens?
Juri: I don't even want to know about them. On an unrelated topic.... Our CAM match.... You still have that open stip listed right?
Synthy: Yeah. Also, made sure to list the following as 'No Goes': Hair vs hair, lingerie, pillow, Something-On-A-Pole, damn that sounds dirty, Loser Leaves EWT, um. I think that was it..
Juri: Well, okay then
Synthy:...I'm rather worried about some of the ideas that the Roster may come up with, personally.
Juri: ...you're going to let the roster decide?!
Synthy: *sheepish grin* I guess I kinda forgot to put that we were to choose the stipulation....
Juri: You think what I said was bad? I imagine the boys choosing something... It could be WORSE!
Synthy: Damnit, but I said no girly matches! They can't possibly choose anything worse then lingerie!
Juri: ...did you WATCH RAW when Bischcoff was GM?!
Synthy: ......The only thing I can remember is that Lita versus Victoria steel cage match! Maybe the boys will wanna see us get bloodied? Like, as retribution for you kicking their asses...and my recent turn against them...
Juri: That would make my year... But no, I meant more along the lines of... *She whispers into Synthy's ear. The phrases "kiss my ass" and "HLA" are heard.*
Synthy: Oh holy wax. *Her face looks stricken as she looks at Juri* ......There's no way they'd be that vicious....
Juri: You said it yourself, Sweetie.
Synthy:.....I will destroy, maim, decimate, and mutilate any male who says those three particular letters for the match. Also, if they make one of us kiss their ass....I will personally ensure they never, ever, get the chance to procreate... I'LL MAKE THEM A EUNUCH!
Juri: That seems too light of a punishment.
Synthy: *adds* And lock them into a *coughs* house of...'ill repute'...if you get my meaning.
Juri: There you go.
Synthy:...Holy sheiste, what did I land us into?
Juri: Well, how about we just accept it... *she offers her hand.* Because after what we just went through, I think we could use the strengthening in friendship.
Synthy: *shakes it and laughs* I'd suggest we go get drinks, but ya know how that goes. Maybe we can figure out our entrance stuff for CAM? Dunno about you, but I kinda wanna look a bit different then the norm.
Juri: How about we so, over a couple of Pepsis.
Synthy: .....You've officially regained your spot as top girl in my book. Plus...how much do you know about Dance Dance Revolution?.....
Juri: *wide grin* Sweetie, I've lived in Japan for quite sometime... Of course I know DDR.
Synthy: *reaches down and picks up her sunglasses, placing them back on her head.* Well....I just so happened to buy this spiffy DDR machine the other day...and it's dying to be played as something other then my cardio workout. So how about we pick up some Pepsi, and food or whatever, and discuss CAM whilst we chill? I can show you that design I came up with too, if ya want.
Juri: *grin* I'll get my bag.
Synthy: Sweet. With any luck, we'll escape from this madhouse unharmed. *She finishes off with a wide grin.*
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Lily-Rose
Mike the Goon
Rockin' All Night.
Posts: 42
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Post by Lily-Rose on Apr 22, 2007 22:16:52 GMT -5
*Lilly is standing around backstage, watching the crew members carrying large items around, a table, a steel cage, and oddly enough that inflatable moonwalk thing at fairs and carnivals. Going the opposite way is Axel Halaway, with a deep rope marks on his neck. He looks to be annoyed with everyone in his way.*
*As she watches Axel walk past her, she runs up to him, and taps him on the shoulder.*
LILLY: Hi, are you Axel?
*Axel turns around to face Lilly. He glances at her for a second before answering.*
Axel: Yes, that would be me. Congrats, you just won a round of applause. Nice meeting you. * He turns but not before glancing at her again, as if he's trying to place her face from somewhere.*
LILLY: I just wanted to say I'm a big fan of yours. I've watched some of your matches as Q&A, and even saw the Triple Tag with the Draugr and TJT. You were awesome.
Axel: *he pauses* The Q & A huh? I'm sorry to disappoint you with my current mood, but I've seen better days. And you're wrong about one thing... I am awesome, despite my run here I continue to be awesome. *he goes to walk away again but stops before he makes a full turn.* I think I know you from some where....
*Lilly shrugs her shoulders, pretending there's no way he couldn't recognize her.*
LILLY: I dunno what to tell you. I just thought those were your best matches, though. You're still awesome, but those were my favorite matches. Though...I think I performed at one of your shows when you were Q&A...
Axel: Well that could be because I had a better partner then too... *he pauses to look at her closer, he even lifts his trademark shades to do so.* Lily?
LILLY: *nods her head* Yup, Lilly-Rose, at your service.
Axel: *he softens up but his voice retains his harshiness, possibly due to the Draugr attack* Wow, it's been awhile huh?
LILLY: Sure has. It's good to see a recognizable face around here. *She looks around* Actually, I'm just excited to see a lot of the EWT wrestlers, but you especially.
Axel: I don't see why... Seems to be a lot of weirdos here. As for being excited about me, I don't see why. You're the bigger star here. I'm going to have a match at CAM but you get more press than me, of course.
LILLY:*Waves the thought off* Nah, you'd think. But my publicist is giving this little press, because he thinks "If I wrestle, your fans are going to turn on you". So what? I can make new fans. It's not like I'm going to lose any credibility with wreslting fans just because I'm a rock star.
Axel: I personally think that you are above this though. You could go much further in music than wrestling.
LILLY: Yeah, I know I could. But sooner or later the fame's going to take it's toll, I'm going to end up with no new albums, and someday I'm going to go bald and proclaim myself a Scientologist.
Axel: You would sacrifice your own well being to a cult for the possiblity of fame? I thought you were above that.
LILLY: Oh, no. Nynononononooooooooooo. No. I'm saying that no fame is going to cause me to go insane, thus getting me lots of bad publicity. You hear what I'm saying, Ax?
Axel: Well, good. Let the media whores flock to that cult. So, why EWT? Why not somewhere else, like WWE? With their policy of having "famous" people on their shows, you would be at the top.
LILLY: Yeah, weird, huh? My agent actually attempted them, but Vince found out a few things about me that made me take back the offer.
Axel: That you are a real person?
LILLY: *laughs, then wipes a tear from her eye* Pretty much. But it was also the fact that A) I'm a rock star, and not a model, and B) I have no interest in getting implants for people to notice me.
Axel: Don't forget that you actually have ring talent, from what I've heard and seen.
LILLY: Mixed martial arts, but yeah, it's still a pretty technical point in wrestling. Who knows? I might be mentioned in the same sentence as Kurt Angle.
Axel: A humble front, with the confidence of a broaderline egoist. No offense of course, at least you aren't considered as bad as me. So anyways, let me be one of the first to welcome you here. And to say that you should watch out for... Sadamoto-san. You shouldn't have any problems with her, unless you tick her off.
LILLY: Juri, eh? I've seen a bit of her. I think I just need to worry about ticking her off when she's sober. *She laughs, with a wink to Axel.* Say, weren't you romantically linked with her for a bit?
Axel: ...The less said about that, the more chance of me living to a healthy old age
LILLY: Fair enough. Don't wanna be crippled by her before you win those EWT Tag belts, right?
Axel: And then finally go out on my own. I've always been a "tag guy", as you know. I'm tired of it.
LILLY: *brushing her hair out of her eyes* It happens to a lot of people. I'm sure the Haryz were tired of each other after a while. It's why lots of tag teams split. Still...you had to have at least asked yourself, "What'll happen to Jobby once we split?"
Axel: Please... He has it made. The crowd, for some reason, loves him. Once I win the tag titles, I'm not even guranteed a long career in EWT. I'm going to have to pull force myself to the top.
LILLY: Eugene had it made for a while, too, and look where he's at. *crosses her arms* Just remember though, Axel, that once you win the Ox, Tri-State, or World title, never forget to thank the people who helped you on your way. I'm sure that's what Jobby wants when you make it up there...to hear you thank him.
Axel: I guess I'll just have to see when I get there.
LILLY: That's true. *A beeping goes off in her pocket, and she takes out her cell phone.* Oh, hey! Toom E. wants to see me in his office!
Axel: *sarcasiticly* Be sure to send him my best wishs.
LILLY: *giggling to herself* Will do. And hey, kick the Draugr around for me at CAM. I'll be watching you. *She blows a kiss as she walks backwards, then turns around and runs off to see the Wizard of EWT.*
Axel: ....*voice goes softer* she's too good for this business....
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Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
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Post by Ass Dan on Apr 23, 2007 22:29:00 GMT -5
¢
£
A
¥
The guitar of 'No One Knows' gives its opening beats to the symbols. Out walks Richard Clay to a few boos.
Announcer: The following contest is schedualed for one fall! Introducing first, from Cash Mountain, weighing in at 262 lbs., the Killionare, Richard Clay!
Clay waves his hand to the crowd.
Announcer: And his opponent, already in the ring, from Winston-Salem, North Carolina, weighing in at 225 lbs., Ric Converse!
The former AWA Champion plays to the crowd as Clay takes off his purple vest. The ref checks both men, then calls for the bell.
*ding ding ding*
Clay walks up and asks for a handshake. Converse reaches for it, but Clay turns his outstretched hand into an European uppercut. He gives Converse another European uppercut before giving an Irish whip to Converse. Converse attempts to roundhouse kick Clay, but he ducks and locks in a full nelson before hitting a Silver Bomb. Clay goes for the cover.
1!
2!
Kickout at 2.5. Clay stalks Converse, and as Ric stands up, Clay picks him up and lands a Killionare Krunch on him. Clay covers.
1!
2!
3!
*ding ding ding*
Announcer: Here is your winner, Richard Clay!
The ref holds Clay's hand high as the crowd gives a sour reaction to him. Clay asks for a mic and receves one.
Clay: I hope you like my moves, because you're going to see a whole lot more of them in EWT. I've got deep pockets, and long arms, and a mean streak a kilometre wide. So be ready, because I'm going to pay to get Minipax to the top!
Clay hands the microphone to the refferee as 'No One Knows' starts back up. He smiles and rubs his fingers together as we...
*CUT TO COMMERCIAL*
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Post by teamireland on Apr 25, 2007 17:11:03 GMT -5
*Backstage, Liam O'Neill is getting a cup of tea to wash down a few pills. Sean McCann approaches him.* Sean: Liam, do you know who you're opponent is this week. Liam: Who? Sean: That's right. Liam: What is? Sean: Who is your opponent this week. Liam: Who? Sean: Yes. Liam: Yes is my opponent this week? Sean: No, Who is. Liam: That's what I want to know. Sean: This week you are facing Who. Liam: Who is my opponent? Sean: You're opponent is Who. Liam: No time for a grammar lesson, boss. Who am I wrestling? Sean: Who. Liam: That's what I'm asking! Who is my opponent? Sean: Yes! Liam: Didn't you say not two minutes ago that "Yes" wasn't my opponent! Sean: That's right. Liam: So who is? Sean: That's right. Liam: I think you should take a few of these pills, man. Sean: This week, Liam, you will be wrestling Who! Liam: I DON'T KNOW! WHY WON'T YOU F***IN' TELL ME! Sean: I am telling you! Liam: Great! So I'm wrestling... Sean:... WHO! Liam: AH! F*** IT! I'll just go look at the matchboard meself... *Liam storms off as Sean makes a cuppa for himself.*
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Post by dorf on Apr 25, 2007 20:55:37 GMT -5
*Dull Grisham finds dorf in the nets a-top of Sesame Place. If your wondering how the camera crew got up there, all it is is just a mini-camcorder capturing the live feed. Anyways...*
Dull: After journeying an ungodly amount of crawling and climbing, I have finally find dorf. So...dorf, what are your thoughts on Crap-a-Mania IV?
Dorf: Damnit, Dull...you finally found me, well the resonable thing is to answer your question. One thing is...you're not going to listen...
*picks up Dull Grisham and tosses him down the nets as he rolls to the bottom, screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!*
Now since the annoyance is gone, I will give a Crap-a-Mania breakdown.
Nyrds: I've beat them again and again and AGAIN. I've beat each one single-handedly, then I beat one in a handicap match, and I've beaten them up countless times in tag matches. When will they learn that they can never beat me? NEVER. And at Crap-a-Mania IV, me and that
DIRTY
DISGUSTING
BRUTAL
BOTTOM-FEEDING
TRASH-BAG
IDIOT
son of a b**** will make damn sure you will not win.
BK3K: Ah, Boogie Knights 3000. I have no idea who you are, but you guys seem fairly fierce and objective to get those tag belts....WELL YER NOT! Do you want to know why? It's because you will get your...JUST DO!
Team Ireland: We beat you before and we will beat you again...somehow. How about this, Sean McCann...how would you like it if I put you through a Steel Table...yeah, that sounds like, Dorf-Plex....hmmm, botched Dorf-Plex.
Team Raft-Shack: You guys are cool, but you'll probably pin yourself to be eliminated. Not a problem. Even a stinky ape can wipe his own blood.
God...how many teams are there....let's see who else is there?
Big & Bad: Well, we have this big guy. And, we have this bad jungle guy. Lemme tell you something Big & Bad....you guys don't scare me whatsoever and having an ape who is a schizophrenic and attacks me at random times during matches sounds like you guys are the wimps and not I.
Hmm, how many teams did I count? That looks like only 5, but I am missing one team....who are they, man, I forget; but I know its that team that has lost at every EWT PPV, I mean...it's not that hard....AH, I know who it is...the Cidal Squad.
Joking aside, I know what you guys want and come Crap-a-Mania IV you guys will lose to us. Plain and simple and you can have your Heavyweight Champion come in and save you, but the matter of the fact is that you have lost at every, single EWT PPV you guys have attempted to be in. This is sad, but this sad streak WILL continue after Crap-a-Mania and EVERY PPV you guys are in.
I know its sad, but its true. Because you will also get your...JUST DO!
Dorf out. *Does peace symbol*
*Dorf then picks up camera man and throws him in the nets as the camera fades while the man is rolling in the nets to commerical.*
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Indigocrates
Unicron
I got bored. Decided to become a philosopher. Just 'cause.
Posts: 2,953
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Post by Indigocrates on Apr 25, 2007 23:26:31 GMT -5
*Balls Mahoney comes out to his ECW theme to some mild pops and enters the ring.*
Penzer: "From Nutley, New Jersey, weigh in at 305 lbs, he is BALLS MAHONEY!"
*Hybrid Stigmata starts over the speakers and Christopher Indigo runs down to the ring, sans Toolshed Title, in a Pro Wrestling NOAH sweatshirt, black trunks, black knee pads, and black boots. Mahoney tries early on to get the advantage and swings at Indigo with a haymaker (DING DING DING!), but Indigo ducks and locks in a hammerlock. He applies pressure to the hammerlock, and Balls goes down and flops like a fish! Indigo pins!
1!
2!
3!
DING DING DING!
Penzer: "here is your winner, and still EWT Toolshed Champion, CHRISTOPHER INDIGO!"
*Indigo stands around and nods his head in victory as we cut to the next segment,*
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Post by thecursedone on Apr 26, 2007 0:51:39 GMT -5
*Some really cheesy, stock music plays as the man known as Terra Ryzin makes his way out from the back. The crowd seemingly recognizes him but are unsure if that they are correct. He walks down the ramp as he fuffs his Ric Flair-esque hair and adjusts his knock off robes.* Finkel: Making his way to the ring... From Greenwich, Connecticut.. TERRA RYZIN! JBL: This guy looks familiar.... Cole: You know Terra Ryzin? JBL: I think know him by a different name... *He enters the ring and disrobes his robe. His music ends.* * Simon Scurvy's music plays. * JBL: Shoot me now. Cole: Oh come on partner, it's just Scurvy! JBL: And I hate everything about the damned goof. What's your point? *A very short and fat man in a cheap looking parrot suit bursts out from the EWT curtain, flapping his arms as he “soars” to right of the stage. He continues to flap his “wings”, leaving the EWT crowd very confused. But just then, a man in a very stereotypical pirate outfit walks out from the curtain and strikes the Captain Morgan pose.* Finkel: From Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrkansas, by way of the Sea... Weighting in at 226 lbs... Being accompanied to the ring by Polly.... SIMON SCURVY! Scurvy: ARRRRRRRRRR!!!! JBL: ARKANSAS IS NOWHERE NEAR THE SEA, YOU STUPID IDIOT! Cole: That was an oxymoron there, John. JBL: .....I hate you. *Scurvy holds out his hand and Polly “flaps his wings” over to him excitedly to “land” on Simon's arm to “perch”. Simon struts down the ramp with a “pirate” like stagger, all the while Polly is “perched” on Simon's arm (walking behind him). He reaches the end of the ramp and reaches in his pocket with his free hand. He pulls out chocolate gold candy and throws it out into the crowd. He then lets out a big “pirate” laugh and finishes with a massive...* Scurvy: AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR- *The arena blacks out and the sound of thunder clashes within the arena. Screams and shouting are heard during the blackout.* Cole: WHAT'S GOING ON?! JBL: Did we forget to pay the electric bill? *When the lights come back on, Scurvy has made it inside the ring. He is gawking at the downed Ryzin, who looks to be completely out of it, and more importantly the black spot laying on his chest. Slowly, Scurvy walks over and places his leg on Ryzin's chest. The referee makes the count.* Cole: RYZIN'S OUT?! WHAT JUST HAPPENNED?! JBL: NO!!! NO!!! DON'T HAVE THE DAMN PIRATE WIN THIS! 1! JBL: I BEGGING YOU! 2! JBL: SOMEBODY INTERRUPT THIS! 3! JBL: DAMMIT! *The bell rings, but the crowd remains silent . Scurvy breaks the silence.* Scurvy: AAAARRRRR! THAT'S WHAT YER GET FOR MESSING WITH THE LEGENDARY SIMON SCURVY! Cole: A confident and impressive Scurvy picks up another win. JBL: He had to have cheated! What was with the power outage?! *Scurvy looks, however spooked, and rolls out of the ring with Polly at his side. He makes his way back toward the EWT locker room, but not before lifting his arms up in victory.* Finkel: ....oh... YOUR WINNER OF THIS MATCH, SIMON SCURVY! Scurvy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! JBL: THAT DOES IT! I'M GOING TO DANGEROUSLY'S OFFICE TO REQUEST FOR MATCH WITH SCURVY NEXT WEEK! *JBL gets up and storms off, leaving Cole to himself.*
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Post by Oceanic on Apr 26, 2007 16:40:47 GMT -5
After some commercials and a hype ad for Crapamania we go back to the arena with Justin Credible already in the ring with his generic theme music going chugga chugga in the background. He paces back and forth looking mildly bored when an better song comes on and Oceanic comes out from the back to a negative crowd reaction. She marches down the aisle with the Tri State title around her waist when suddenly Credible charges and dives through the ropes. Fortunately for her, Oceanic sees it coming and simply sidesteps Credible and lets him smack face first onto the arena floor. She picks Credible up and sends him crashing into a ring post. She gives Credible a series of forearm blows to his back and finishes the flurry with a running kick that lands with a loud smack to his bald head. Oceanic picks Credible up and throws him into the ring and follows him in. She stands above the fallen Credible and raises her arm, the Tri State Title still around her waist.
Oceanic sends Credible into the turnbuckles and runs in, blasting him in the jaw with a Knee Bazooka, and follows it up with a bulldog. She turns Credible over and hits the ropes, coming down with the Lionsault/Double Legdrop combo. She jumps on top of Credible and begins to pound away on his face with stiff as all hell Thai elbow strikes. Credible takes each elbow full on in the face and he's busted open immediately, blood spraying in all directions with every successive blow. Oceanic doesn't let up and continues to pummel away on Credible, who's not doing a whole lot to protect himself. The ref has seen enough and calls for the bell.
The Fink: "Ladies and gentleman, the referee has stopped the match. Your winner by TKO, and still Tri State champion...................Oceanic!"
Oceanic stops pummeling away and stands up to get her arm raised up. She points down at the Tri State title still around her waist and notices that there's some blood on it so she ripes Credible's shirt off and wipes it up. She drops the shirt on Credible's face and takes the mic.
"Since I know he's watching right now I'd like to say a little something to my old buddy, old pal Virus. Take a look at Justin Credible for one second. See that? That's what happens when you take me for granted. This clown tried to get the jump on me before the match started so I showed him what's up. Now he's covered in his own DNA. You, just like Credible here, think I can't measure up. That's the real reason why you're trying to be the "gentleman", right? You're so afraid to hit me because I'm a woman and you're a gentleman. Bulls***! That's a weak excuse and you know it! What do we do for a living, Virus? We hurt each other! The whole point of doing what we do is to beat the other person to the point where they can't fight anymore! This isn't a daisy farm! This is the EWT! Believe me, Virus! I know exactly what I signed up for! I know that when I face any given opponent on any given night that they are going to try to hurt me! Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean a thing when that bell rings! You can't use that as an excuse anymore, Virus! I know what's really bothering you. You're afraid that little old me, a poor defenseless Hawaiian girl half your size, can make you tap out. That's really the issue, isn't it? Well you'd better come to grips with that fact real quick because when Crapamania comes around, I won't hold back. Are you going to just stand there and let me kick your ass all over the ring? I hope not.
Figure it out, big man."
With that she tosses the mic to the Fink and heads to the back while pointing to her belt, just to rub it in to the jeering fans.
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Post by Tha Kid Joker on Apr 26, 2007 17:16:14 GMT -5
It takes all of ten seconds after Oceanic walks to the back, for "Square Dance" to start up, getting the crowd to their feet! The fans cheer loudly as Cassinova calmly walks out from the back and down the ramp, before sliding into the ring and standing over Justin Credible. He holds in his hand what looks like a yellow cloth, and nods toward the Fink, who just stares back at him with a confused look.
Fink: Uh... introducing the EWT Ox-Division Champion... Cassinova!
The crowd cheers as Cass claps for himself. He still stands over Credible, and people begin to wonder why he's out here. Eventually, his music dies down, and he holds up what was in his hand...
Justin Credible's old Aldo Montoya mask. He casually slips the mask on a down-and-out Justin Credible, before once again nodding to the Fink.
Fink: Uh... oh! I get it! And his opponent... Weighing in at 225 lbs... Aldo Montoya!
The bell rings as Cassinova casually lifts up a now-limp "Aldo Montoya" and delivers the California DreamDriver, before laying over him for an easy pin...
1...
2...
3!
Fink: Here's your winner... and STILL EWT Ox-Division Champion... Cassinova!
Cass rolls off of "Aldo" and out of the ring, casually strolling to the back as "Square Dance" plays in the background.
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Spyke the Pacers Fan
El Dandy
Still hates himself for missing the last episode of Murder She Wrote
Go Indiana!
Posts: 8,061
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Post by Spyke the Pacers Fan on Apr 26, 2007 17:26:36 GMT -5
Lillian Garcia: "The following match is scheduled for one fall!"
*"Tier" by Rammstein hits and Spyke Johannson makes his way to the ring, for this unscheduled match, ignoring any boos or cheers he gets*
Lillian: "From Stockholm, Sweden, weighing in at 202 lbs., Spyke Johannson! And his opponent..."
*Generic rock music hits and a man in his mid-20's, 230 lbs, 6'4", steps out onto the stage. He jogs down to the ring. He's wearing silky baggy pants, no shirt, and has medium-length blonde hair.*
Lillian: "And from Cincinnati, Ohio, weighing in at 230 lbs. Carter Lahman!"
Lahman enters the ring and stares down Spyke, who is looking right back at him. Spyke drops the new guy with a big right hook and the bell dings to start this match.
*bell dings*
Spyke immediately goes on the offensive, stomping and kicking Carter. Spyke picks him up only to send him back to the canvas with a hard lariat. Spyke rolls Carter out of the ring. Spyke follows. Spyke grabs Carter's head and slams it into the steel steps. Spyke grabs Carter's head like he's going for a one-armed cutter, but instead leaps over the steel steps and drops Carter's face right into the steps. The crowd starts a small and brief "Holy S***!" chant. Carter rolls over onto his back and his bleeding severely from his nose. The ref calls for the bell.
*bell dings*
Lillian: "Ladies and Gentleman, this match has been called due to ref stoppage."
Carter's nose is clearly broken. EMT's run down to the ring. Spyke simply stares at him with a blank expression on his face. Spyke slowly walks up the ramp. He turns to the camera.
Spyke: "You WON'T see it coming! Crap-a-Mania 4. Just watch. Heh..."
(Fade to commercial)
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