Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Apr 26, 2007 17:38:37 GMT -5
After about maybe 30 seconds, "The Day My Faith Died" begins to play, getting the crowd to their feet once more. The fans cheer loudly as Mike Corral walks out from the back and down the ramp with a purpose. Mike slides into the ring and stands over Justin Credible, still in his pathetic mask. Mike bends down and removes the mask, throwing it out into the crowd before nodding to the ref.
Fink: Uh.... introducing first, from San Diego, CA, his is "The Angel of Death" Mike Corral!!
Mike nods over to Justin Credible, who's barely consciouss.
Fink: And his opponent..... P! J! WALKER!!!
Mike picks Walker up, almost shaking his head, before hitting the patented Cataract. Mike just rolls Walker over before going for the easy pin.
1
2
3!!!
Fink: Here is your winner, MIKE CORRAL!!!
Mike gets up, looking at Walker with disgust before snatiching the mike away from Fink.
Mike: .....Ragnal......One......come Crap-A-Mania......your fate.....rests in MY HANDS....and I will walk away.....your new.....Heavyweight Champion.
"The Day My Faith Died" begins to play as Mike throws down the microphone before exiting. EMT's come down to help poor Justin as we fade to a commercial.
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Post by teamireland on Apr 26, 2007 17:46:05 GMT -5
*Team Ireland locker room. Liam O'Neill enters. Sean McCann & Aidan Donnelly are sitting on a sofa. Sean nudges Aidan & whispers to him.* Sean: Here, watch this. Liam. Who's your opponent this week. Liam: Yes. Not the pronoun, but rather a wrestler with the unlikely name of "Who" is my opponent this week. Sean: Brilliant, Liam! I only talked to you for two seconds & you've already ruined the entire routine! *Sean storms off.* Liam: Wha...?! Aidan: I don't get it. *Cut to whatever's next.*
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Apr 26, 2007 17:57:55 GMT -5
*The camera fades into the makeshift arena, facing the ring. Inside are Sting and the Shockmaster.*
Sting: My partner here, and I, are going to SHOCK the world! Because we've got a plan to get the--
*"Different World" blasts over the speakers as no Jaguar comes out. Instead is simply Terina; she walks out with a microphone, recieiving many a boo. The music suddenly dies down.*
Terina: Shock the world huh? Just like you ruined Flair's show. Anyway, I think my boys have a shock for you!
*Sting and the Shockmaster look around, suprised, until the crowd boos louder. Rushing out of the audience are Thunder and Jupiter, not even in their wrestling gear. Before the man called Sting and Uncle Fred can fight back, Jupiter tosses Shockmaster out.*
DING DING DING!
*As he crashes onto the floor, Thunder and Jupiter go to double team Sting. They get in a few punches, but he double clothelines the two of them. Sting quickly covers up Jupiter, hoping to get an upset win.*
1!
KICKOUT!
*Thunder pulls Sting off of Jason and elbow drops him a few times. Jupiter gets up and unleashes the ten stomps of pain at the same time. Jason picks him up by the hair, but the Shockmaster runs in, going to save his partner--THUDNERBOLT! Shock is down, and Jupiter hits the Atmospheric Pressure on Sting. With both men down, they cover the two at the same time.*
1!
2!
3!
*"Different World" starts up as Thunder and Jupiter arrogantly rise up, smiling. They slap hands and exit the ring, heading up the ramp to a waiting Terina.*
Finkel: Here are your winners...TJT!
*The camera fades out.*
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Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
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Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Apr 26, 2007 18:56:00 GMT -5
*Flash to Axel outside the locker room.* Axel: Come on, Jay! With our opponents down, this will be a quick win! Jobby: *muffled behind the door.* Just wait up for me at the ramp! Axel: ....Okay then... * Before Axel can say more, his entrance music begins. He quickly makes it the EWT curtain and emerges through them. The crowd slighly pops as Axel makes it down to the ramp by himself, he constantly looks back at the curtain, looking very confused as his forced tag partner did not want to come to the ring with him. He makes it to the ring while Sting and the Shockmaster are still down in the ring.* Finkel: Currently in the ring... *taking off the Shockmaster's helmet and placing a sailor hat on the downed individual* Tugboat & Flash! And making his way to the ring... From MO-DES-TO, California... Weighting in at 240 lbs... "The Icon" Axel Halaway. Cole: Why do you suppose that Jobby didn't come to the ring? JBL: Maybe someone is actually listening to me for once. *Axel enters the ring and steps up to turnbuckle to do his wave off but is interrupted by some oddily familar music.* * "STAND BACK...." * JBL: What....the....hell? Cole: Could it be? *From out of the curtain, a Neon Yellow Masked individual explodes from the back. He is draped in a cape that is Neon Green, that has "EVERYBODY LOVES THE JOBBICANE!!!" on the back. His tights and boots are, unfortunately, the same colors as normally. The crowd is popping like crazy for this special entrance. The look on Axel's face is classic. His shades are half off as he remains standing on the bottom ropes in disbelief. The Jobbicane spins while walking down the ramp.* Finkel: And his partner... From THE JOBBICAVE... Weighting in at 258 lbs... THE JOBBICANE!!! Cole: Oh my, John! It's the Jobbicane! JBL: No, he isn't! Cole: Who is it then? JBL: You know damn well who it is. *The Jobbicane enters the ring, hops to the turnbuckle next to Axel's, and poses while sticking his tongue out. Axel hops down and quickly discards his jacket & shades. The Jobbicane turns and gives a super powered thumbs up at Axel. Axel, for the first time in his EWT career, is red in the face and is looking like he is trying his damnest not to laugh. The music ends and the bell rings. The referee shoos Axel out of the ring and rolls Tugboat to his corner. Flash slow makes it to his feet, while the Jobbicane looks ready for a move behind him. Just as Flash turns around, the Jobbicane grabs him by the throat. He gives a massive thumbs up before dropping Flash into a impactful Chokeslam. He goes for the pin.* 1! 2! 3! Finkel: AND YOUR WINNERS OF THIS MATCH, THE ICON AND THE JOBBICANE! Cole: WHAT A GREAT MATCH! JBL: I'm going to be sick. *Axel enters the ring as The Jobbicane turns to met him. The Jobbicane offers his hand and Axel does the whole look around before shaking his hand.* JBL: STRIKE HIM DOWN, DAMMIT! Cole: Oh come on John. *Axel takes his hand to shake, to which The Jobbicane gives a huge super powered thumbs up.* JBL: I need a drink... *Fade into commercial.*
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B.A.
Grimlock
Posts: 13,335
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Post by B.A. on Apr 26, 2007 21:18:11 GMT -5
Eddie: what in the heck...I am facing ZMan? who? a jobber?
*Zman walks by taping his fists for his match*
*Eddie walks up behind him and grabs him and throws him into a fence before putting boots to him*
Eddie: ZMan, ok..im sorry you need a wrestling move to have a wrestling match.
*Eddie picks Zman up and does a ddt to him busting him open.*
Eddie: Ding..Ding...match over.
He grabs his bag and heads out to his rental to go to the airport
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Post by raftshack on Apr 27, 2007 2:10:28 GMT -5
We fade in, showing an assortment of people standing outside Toomi's office... they all look quite annoyed as he seem to be arguing with each other. From left to right are Brian Pillman and Bruce Hart, Pat Tanaka and Paul Diamond... standing by with Diamond Dallas Page, the rather obscure threesome of Shawn Osborne, Eddie Kraven III and Mike Kruel, as well as... Sonny Siaki and Bull Buchanan.
Pillman: Toomi booked us you losers! We're gonna face Raft Shack... we're the original Bad Company!
DDP: You guys are crazy... my boys here, WE are gonna face Team Raft Shack!
Mike Kruel: No... we're Bad Company.
Bull Buchanan: What about us... we're also Bad Company!
Bruce Hart: And exactly who are you guys...
Bull: Well... I was in Right to Censor...
Sonny Siaki: And... I'm a former X Division Champion.
Eddie Kraven: Nope, never heard of either of ya
Sonny: What?! How dare you... we were booked against Raft Shack and you know all know it!
Pillman: Why would Toomi book some footnote of an obscure tag team? He obviously booked the originals. We're better than all of ya!
Shawn Osborne: Hah... says you! We've got three guys... we're better than all of ya!
DDP: But... my boys here were AWA Tag Champs
Suddenly, seen waltzing by this commotion is the pair themselves, Zeleke swinging his hips and walking wildly down the hallway, as Faboon marches behind, saluting nobody in particular. Zeleke then pulls out a Cane from... somewhere and smacks himself in the face with it, stumbling back, then breaking out into a very random tap dance, as Faboon claps along to the beat, while bobbing his head.
Zeleke: 12
Faboon: 24?!
Zeleke: *nodding* 55. 72, 43, 9, 28.
Faboon: 103!!!
Zeleke *cackling* 377... 409!!!
Faboon: *shaking his head wildly* 50.5?!
Zeleke nods again, reaching into pockets and pulling out two packs of Peanut Butter M &Ms, opening his mouth and ripping both packages open, then double fisting, storing the candy inside his mouth in mere moments, then patting his puffed out cheeks, then twirling away, as Faboon watches on... simply chasing after, probably to continue this... conversation. Meanwhile "Bad Companies 1-4 all simply stare at the sight.
Hart: Wait... we're facing THEM?!
Buchanan: Screw that... I've got better things to do then be seen facing a pair of lunatics.
Kruel: Lunatics... that's being kind isn't it?
DDP: So... whose up for Chinese?
The group all nod amongst themselves, smiling and shaking hands as they all happily exit the backstage area, having now resolved their dilemma.
Fade to commercial.
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Post by teamireland on Apr 27, 2007 11:34:23 GMT -5
*Who stands in the ring, awaiting the arrival of Liam O'Neill. "Sweden" starts playing as Liam makes his way out, he pops a handful of pills from a bottle kept in his tights.* David Penzer: And his opponent, from Cork, Ireland, weighing in at 209lbs, representing Team Ireland... LIAM... O... NEILL! *Liam enters the ring & climbs a post raising his arms to the crowd. Is that another positive reaction from the fans?* DING-DING! *Liam, rather foolishly, chooses to lock up with Who. Who has an obvious strength advantage over the deranged Irishman & shoves him back into corner. Liam rolls back into a turnbuckle & holds the back of his head in pain. While Liam nurses himself, Who advances & stomps the crap out of Liam in the corner. Who drags Liam to his feet again & bodyslams him mid-ring. Who covers...* 1... 2... KICKOUT! *The crowd seem to be willing Liam on. Could they actually be cheering for him? Liam stands up. He gets Who with a few boots to the shins & knees. Who seems to be stooping a little bit, favouring his left leg. Liam keeps on with the attack. Liam whips Who off towards the ropes & cataches him with a basement dropkick. Who's down & Liam keeps attacking that left leg. He lifts Who's knee & drives it into the mat repeatedly. Then Liam cinches in a Half Boston Crab. Who struggles forward, looking to grab the ropes. Liam maintains a hold on the leg, wrapping it around his own. Liam spins around & locks Who into an STF. But it's too late. Who has already got to the ropes. Liam is forced to release his hold & back-up a bit.* *As Who gets back to his feet, using the ropes to assist him, Liam attacks from behind. Chop-blocking Who before he's fully back on his feet. With Who down again, Liam drags him back to the middle of the ring. Liam drops his own leg across Who's injured left leg & ties him up in "The Irish Shamrock Leaf". Who is yelling now (albeit muffled by his mask). Who tries to get to any set of ropes he can, but all are out of reach. WHO TAPS!!!!* DING-DING-DING! Penzer: Here is your winner... LIAM...O... NEILL!!! *The Divine Comedy's "Sweden" plays again as Liam exits, popping a couple of pills as he goes. At the top of the ramp stands a beaming Coach O'Hare... Is he ready to end Liam's probationary period & fully welcome him back to Team Ireland? Only time will tell.*
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Post by xombiehiphop on Apr 27, 2007 14:04:35 GMT -5
Announcer: Currently in the ring...at 107 years old...The Fabulous Moolah!
The elderly dinosaur throws her arms into the air, receiving a nostalgic pop.*
Announcer: ...And her opponent...
The arena is bathed in a deep red light as "Get Your Gunn" by Marilyn Manson begins to play. Karma steps out from behind the curtain with a sharp, focused look within her eyes. Glaring straight ahead at Moolah as she heads for the ring. The remaining three members of The Draugr trail along behind her, each carrying a baseball bat. Karma slides into the ring as the bells rings, standing perfectly still as Moolah circles around.
The Draugr begin to pound against the mat from the outside of the ring with the bats, from the outside. Moolah gives Karma a few shots to the face with little to no effect. Moolah runs the ropes and the old lady is knocked straight into unconsciousness with a massive, stiff Clothesline, "The Bloody Mary".
Karma places her foot onto Moolah's throat and the ref makes an academic three count. "Get Your Gunn" plays once more, as The Draugr slide into the ring. Wraith snatching a mic..
Wraith: As much fun as it is beatin up old women..our bloodlust isn't quenched yet. So..King Tonga..Tonga Kid..come meet the slaughter..
Wraith tosses the mic down as tribal music begins to play and the two Tongans rush down to the ring. ...Right into the onslaught of baseball bats to the gut and head. The match doesn't even begin to start as the two are laid out with the baseball bat shots, leaving them crumpled messes, right along with Moolah..
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Post by Redface: Dispenser of Justice on Apr 27, 2007 14:23:07 GMT -5
*"This Mortal Soil" by Mastodon begins to die down as Redface Rodgers and Avalanche Stand toe-to-toe in the middle of the ring. The Bell sounds, and Rodgers Stretches his entire body to hit the much taller 'Lanche with a devestating Headbutt! The force of the attack as well as being caught by surprise is enough to knock 'Lanche off his feet and onto his back. Redface then moves over to 'Lanche and applies a naked rear-chokehold. Avalanche taps quickly and the bell sounds as Rodgers lets go of the hold. The Returns to his feet and gets his hand raised as we fade to black.*
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Post by Joel, Mike, Currently...? on Apr 27, 2007 22:25:26 GMT -5
The crowd is abuzz...they've no idea who's to come out next, they're just waiting for the next song to send them into a frenzy...who will it be...
It's all about the Pentiums, baby...
That worked. The crowd goes into a tizzy, as Mike steps out first, calm at first, but then goes into a frantic hip hop dance, shuffling off to the side for Joel to join him at the top of the ramp. As the sounds of Weird Al bring up our spirits, Joel and Mike make their way to the ring in their own way, while Keiko, who'd run out during their ramp-top dance performance. David Davies walked out soon afterwards, as they were about halfway down the ramp, obviously not joining their shenanigans. He was wearing his business suit again, but left the jacket open, the shirt untucked, and the tie barely done. He clearly had plans to get involved if need be.
The crowd began to buzz as Joel and Mike entered the ring, waiting to see if they'd do their signature...yup. As if they were reading the fans' minds, Mike began to Windmill in the center of the ring, while Joel dance behind him, and afterwards, the two threw up the N, as Keiko bounced around ringside, exciting the fans even more (especially when her skirt would flip up). Firstly, Linkin Park's "High Voltage" hits, to a long chorus of boos, as Mike Ragnal, followed by Jon Doe and Andy Duke, enters the arena. Ragnal poses, mocking the fans slightly, before walking to the ring, with Doe and Duke in tow. Ragnal stops for a second, as Dave on the apron, directly in his path. Dave points at Duke and Doe, but Ragnal offers no excuse, instead stepping around him and into the ring. Duke and Doe stay outside, wary of Davies's presence.
"Hell March" plays, and Joe One walks out, looking out at the booing crowd with utter disdain. Surprisingly, no one else from Minipax is following him out, which doesn't seem to bother anyone at all, so...yeah. Joe walks past Duke, Doe, and Davies, without bothering to give them a passing glance, and slips into the ring. Already he's trading a glare with his future Crapamania opponent, but still seems fairly focused on the match itself. The announcer makes his um...announcements, and the bell rings. Isson! One and Ragnal can't seem to agree on whom is going to start the match, so both shove eachother out of the way, trying to force eachother out of the ring and to their corner, so Joel and Mike decide to just go "eff it" and attack, landing dropkicks on their opponent, Joel hitting Ragnal, and Mike hitting Joe One. One goes through the ropes, and to the outside, so Joel and Mike concentrate on Ragnal.
The Nyrds send Ragnal to the ropes, and take him up for a double armdrag as he comes off, but catch his legs after he flips, and toss him into the air, letting him hit the ground. Joel rushes to the ropes, and springs backwards, turning around to leg drop Ragnal, and rolls off. Mike repeats the patter, hitting a lionsault instead, however. Nyrds are on fire to start off. And the fire is quelled, as Joe One makes his presence reknown by shoulderblocking Joel out of the ring, then turning around to snap suplex Mike nearly out of his Air Jordan's. With Joel and Mike temporarily down, Joe turns to his partner, and begins prodding him with his boot, trying to get him to roll out of the ring. Ragnal instead slides to the ropes, uses them to help himself up, and steps into his corner, allowing Mike and Joe to continue the match. Joel gets up in his corner, and we're set.
Joe kneels down to Mike, and gets him in a rear chin lock, but begins bashing him in the temple with his elbow, immediately setting him apart from Randy Orton. After a few elbow bashes, Joe begins pressing Mike's face into the mats, grinding him face first, before lifting up and slamming his head into the mat, and standing, stomping him a couple of times. Joe sneers down at Mike, before walking over to Ragnal as if to tag...then turning back to run back to Mike, and lands a running senton on our boy. Joe then stands himself up, and picks Mike up, and sets him up high for a vertical suplex, keeping him in the air. Unfortunately for him, Joe's back is turned to Joel, whom reaches over the ropes to push on Mike's body, toppling him forward and back into a standing position. Realizing he'd never suplex the bigger Joe One, Mike instead opts for a DDT, following up with a double stomp to Joe's chest.
Mike then rolls to Joel to tag him in, and Joel leaps in, running past a rising Joe One. Joe reacts as Joel returns by tossing Joel in the air...however, Joel travels over Joe, lands on his feet, and quickly turns to dropkick Joe in the back of his leg, tripping him to the mat. Joel follows up not by any highflying move, but...scissoring Joe's arm. Joel lays on his side, Joe One's arm trapped in a leg scissors, while Keiko slides something into Joel; his Gameboy. Joel keeps the hold locked in, and begins playing his Gameboy, as the crowd has a good chuckle. Joe finally works his way out of hold, and rolls over to his corner...to get blindtagged by Ragnal, whom runs into the ring, and hits a dropkick on the still down Joel. Ragnal then deadlifts Joel to his feet, German suplexing him backwards for a bridge, and the first pin of the match, earning a two count, Joel kicking out. Keiko begins banging on the mat, and Joel raises to his feet...to get pulled out of the ring by Duke and Doe. Before they do anything, however, Davies rounds the corner, and they break it up.
Mike, replacing Joel, leapfrogs into the ring, runs to Ragnal, slides through his legs, and spins around for a reverse victory roll. Ragnal kicks out at two. Mike heads for the ropes again, cartwheels, then hops up onto Ragnal's shoulders, spinning around, and hits a reversecanrana, landing Ragnal almost on top of his head. Mike covers, again only gaining a two count. Mike gets up, backing up, scratching his head, but travels to far, getting clubbed in the back by Joe One. Joe steps into the ring, and helps up Ragnal, surprisingly, and begins directing traffic. The two work together, tandem suplexing Mike to the mat. Before they pin him, however, Joel springboards dropkicks Joe out of the ring, and follows him out, and the two share a nice donnybrook on the outside. Andy Duke gets up on the apron, bad intentions in mind, and runs as if to leap off at Joel. Dave is in the area, though, and he quickly kicks up his leg into Duke's shin, toppling him over, and sending him face first into the apron. Jon Doe runs around to retaliate, but stops when Dave reaches into the crowd to pull out a chair.
In the ring, Mike has stunned Mike Ragnal with a 540 spin kick, and has him up on his shoulders. The referee at the moment was distracted by the goings on at ringside, so Keiko climbed up top a turnbuckle. Keiko then flew from the top, turning around, and both she and Mike hit Ragnal with the dreaded DOOMSDAY ASS BUMP. Mike fell backwards with Ragnal, rolling backwards into a pin. Joe One slid into the ring in time to break up the count at two. Joe One shoves Ragnal out of the way, and lifts Mike up, clutching him in First Lightning, cranking his neck as if he might be breaking the poor Nyrd's neck. Joel slides in to try and interfere, but gets shoved back out by Ragnal. Mike begins kicking up his legs, as if trying to fight out. The kicks soon become less frequent, and almost stop. Joe One grins a sly grin, until Mike, in a last ditch effort, kicks up his knee, catching Joe right in the face.
Joe falls back, staggering away. Mike leaps up, dazedly running for Joe to run up the ropes for the Lifeforce Code. However, Ragnal catches Mike before he lands the move completely, slides him onto his shoulders, and hits the RAGNALROK. The ref leaps down to count, but Joel dropkicks Ragnal in the head just in time to break up the pin, eliciting a huge OOOH from the fans. Ragnal rolls out of the ring. Joe had taken to resting himself on the middle rope, taken by surprise by the knee. He was about to be taken by a new surprise, as Mike legs swung around to hit a 619, as Joel landed a dropkick, and the Nyrds' new move, I'll Buy That For a Dollar, is complete! Joe One is sent rolling back to the mat, as Joel forces him into a pin. SHOCK OF SHOCKS, Joe One kicks out!
Ragnal finally climbs back into the ring, and makes a dash for Joel, but is leapfrogged by Mike, whom kicks back, and turns around to lift him for the powerbomb, and Joel takes his helm at neckbreaker........REVENGE OF THE NYRDS. Joel twists around to pin Ragnal to the mat, and the Nyrds score their first win since re-debuting!
Joel rolls out of the ring as he's joined by Mike and Keiko, and Dave, whom is nodding his approval. Doe and Duke (rubbing a sore face) climb into the ring, helping up Mike Ragnal. However, both Duke and Doe are down due to chair shots. Ragnal turns around to see the offender, and its Smarky! Smarky butts Ragnal in the stomach with the chair, and lands his spinning brainbuster on it, before sliding out the ring and running into the crowd, which doesn't know what to think...Joe One, whom had rolled out the ring, smirks at the happenings, and turns around to walk to the back.
Commercial....
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2007 13:24:20 GMT -5
*The camera cuts backstage, Giant Gonzalez walking towards the curtain to begin his entrance. All of a sudden, Jack Jupiter comes up behind him, tapping him on the shoulder. Giant turns around.*
Jack: Yeah, uh, I just wanted to let you know...
*Jimmy Thunder Jason Jupiter, and the Midnight Mystery, with Terina bringing up the rear, ambush him from behind with forarms from Jason and a chair shot to the back of the head from Thunder.*
...WE'RE GOING TO BEAT YOU INTO A SURRENDER!
*Thunder and the two Jupiters stomp away at him, and Terina gestures at the Mystery. Suddenly the three smller men let up their attack, and the Midnight Mystery lifts up Giant Gonzalez by the throat, placing him back onto his feet. Lifting him up in a scoop position, he gives him MIDNIGHT MADNESS right onto the floor! As he gets up, he dusts himself off. Jack faces the camera.*
Jack: Did you see that, Ultimo Chocula? Did you see what we just did to Giant Gonzalez, that big monster? Well just imagine what you're going to face at Crapamania--because I'm going to have some friends lend me a hand, just in case things get nasty. Who do you have? The Daryl Dragon? Pheh! That's nothing.
Thunder: Now let's go, I need a drink.
*The group turns around and walks down the hall.*
Jason: A drink, you say? What kind?
Thunder: They've got a new shipment of Scotch at the liquor store a ways from here...
Terina *under her breath*: Uh oh...
Jason: ...SCOTCH?!
Terina: ...um...yeah...
Jason: THAT'S IT, I'M GOING DOWN THERE NOW! Normally I can think straight and all, but you know what that kind of stuff does to me...
Mystery: BRAAAAAUNGNAJUANAJUPITER!
Terina: Yeah, I couldn't have said it better.
Jason: Shut up, you big oaf!
Mystery: BLAAAAAAAAAZAAAZAAAAAAAAGH!
Thunder: How about we buy you a bottle of something, Big Guy?
Mystery: GYHANNAAA!
Thunder: Then it's settled. Alright, now just to figure out how to pile everyone into the car...
*The camera cuts to our next segment.*
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2007 22:13:48 GMT -5
*The camera cuts to the EWT arena, the Iron Sheik standing about inside of the ring, holding up his Iranian flag. The fans are booing him.*
Sheik: IRAN NUMBER ONE! U-S-A--*spits on the mat*
*Starts waving his flag.*
Finkel: Already in the ring, THE IRON SHEIK! AND HIS OPPONENT...
*Shostakovich's "Symphony #5: Finale" blares over the speakers and out comes Voltigeur.*
Finkel: From Rotterdam, Netherlands, weighing in at 303 pounds...VOLTIGEUR!
*The big man is welcomed with cheers, but does no more than a few waves as a sharply walks down to the ring. He rolls in, and the Iron Sheik is quick to attack, stomping away at him while he remains down. After about 20 furious stomps, the Iron Sheik pulls him into the center of the ring end drops a knee across Volt's chest. He quickly goes for a cover.*
1!
KICKOUT!
*The Iron Sheik looks around for a minute, but then assumes a chinlock, constricting around Voltigeur's large, blonde head. He holds it in for a while, but Klaar delivers a few punches to his head, getting him to release the hold long enough for the big man to gain some time and get up. Sheik throws a few punches at the Dutchman, stunning him, and goes for a shortarm clothesline--only for his chest to recieve a Kao Dode knee from his opponent. Voltigeur hits another one, then a European uppercut, which is enough to make the Iron Sheik dazed. Next up his a snap suplex--bringing the Iron Sheik to the mat. Voltigeur goes for the cover.*
1!
2!
KICKOUT!
*Volt gets to his knees, and flexes both of his huge, pale arms for the crowd, getting a pop in antipation of what could happen next. Grabbing the Iron Sheik's big melon, he picks him up, hoping to land a--elbow from the Iron Sheik, right in the stomach. Sheik hits another, then another. He constricts Volt around the waist, preparing to throw him and hit a gutwrench suplex, but before he can, the larger Voltigeur powers out. After a massive European uppercut, Volt spinebusters him in the center of the ring, but then lifts him up by the legs into a powerbomb position. Demonstrating his strength, he adjusts the Iron Sheik, reversing the position Sheik is facing. Suddenly, the Iron Sheik comes crashing down to the mat, face first, courtesy of Voltigeur! Justified Peresecution, perfectly executed--and Volt goes for the cover!*
1!
2!
3!
*Shostakovich's "Symphony #5: Finale" plays again over the speakers, and Voltigeur gets up, raising his arms.*
Finkel: Here is your winner...VOLTIGEUR!
*Victorious, Klaar rolls out of the ring, ambling up the ramp, and once on the stage yells out something in Dutch as he disappears behind the curtain to many a cheer.*
Voltigeur: Ik ben de volgende kampioen!
*The camera fades out.*
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Post by teamireland on Apr 29, 2007 12:13:30 GMT -5
*Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake is Struttin' (but not Cuttin') around the ring as his cheesy as all f*** music plays in the background. It eventually fades out to be replaced by the Dropkick Murphys' "I'm Shipping Up to Boston".* David Penzer: And his opponent, from Galway, Ireland, being accompanied, by Coach O'Hare, weighing in at 297lbs, representing Team Ireland, "The Celtic Giant", SHANE... MALONE!!! DING-DING! *Malone slides into the ring & charges right at Bruti with a powerful clothesline. Brutus is taken down, but returns to his feet. Malone whips Brutus to the ropes & catches him with an overhead Belly-to-Belly suplex. Malone drags Brutus up again... & Beefcake is obviously having bother staying on his feet. Brutus swings at Shane. Shane easily dodges it by taking a step back. Brutus falls flat on his face. Brutus crawls on the ground for a moment before Shane drags him up again. Shane whips Beefcake to a corner & follows up with a Stinger Splash. Before Beefcake can fall, Shane catches him & Gorilla presses him over his head. Shane throws Brutus wuth so much force that Brutus nearly goes out of the ring.*
*At this point, Liam O'Neill, Aidan Donnelly & Sean McCann emerge from the back with a bloodied & face-painted John Tenta. He's meant to be under the guise of The Shark. Shane continues to beat up on Brutus. Aidan gives a nod & Shane finishes Brutus off with a "Gal-A-Way Slam"...*
1...
2...
3!
DING-DING-DING!
*Aidan & Sean roll The Shark into the ring before Penzer can even announce a winner. Sean quickly climbs to the top & lands a Double Stomp on Ed Leslie, now The Butcher. Sean covers...*
1...
2...
3!
*The soulful strains (?) of Dropkick Murphys start playing again as Team Ireland leaves, satisfied with their half-assed attempts here this evening.*
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Apr 29, 2007 13:20:06 GMT -5
Some rythmic tribal drumbeats, and Tama and Haku make their way to the ring.
Ring Announcer: Making their way to the ring, from the isle of Samoa, Tama and Haku, the Islanders!
The arena goes black, except for some dim red lights at the entrance way. "No Quarter" by Led Zeppelin plays. When the guitar solo kicks in, all 3 members of the Cidal Squad rise out of the stage a la Kurt Angle or Gangrel.
Ring Announcer: And their opponents, being accompanied by the EWT World Heavyweight Champion "Elementalcidal" Mike Ragal, at a combined weight of 455 lbs, "Sinnercidal" Jonathan Doe and "Insecticidal" Andy Duke, the Cidal Squad!
Joey Styles: Well this has the potential to be a great match.
Tazz: Indeed it does! This has all the makings of a genuine rocketbusta!
Styles: Of course, the Cidal Squad really want a win here, as just a week away is Crap-A-Mania, and they are in that TLC Gauntlet for the Tag Team titles.
Tazz: A win here could definatley give them the momentum to win next Sunday. And not for nuthin', they are also trying to prove themselves as the best trio, along with Ragnal, in the Trios Tournament.
Styles: That is true, and so far, they've yet to lose in it!
Doe and Tama start the match off. Lock up in the center of the ring, and Tama pushes Doe off his feet. He goes in for an early splash, but Doe moves out of the way, and quickly tags in Andy Duke.
Duke springboards off the top rope, and catches Tama with a great dropkick, that sends him into his own corner, and he tags out to Haku. Haku runs in with a clothesline, knocking Duke down, and drops a knee. Doe comes in, and gets sent over the top rope by Haku for his troubles. The Islanders are in full control of this match.
Haku tags out to Tama, and they hit Duke with a double flapjack. Tama sends Duke into the corner, and peppers him with a series of slaps and chops.Tama walks to the opposite corner, and looks like he might go for a corner splash. He does, but Duke pulls the referee in his way, so that he gets the brunt of that splash! Duke slids out of the ring, as the ref lays there, completley out of it!
Doe comes back into the ring, chair in hand, and smacks Tama upside the head with that chair. But that thick Samoan head keeps him up. Another smash! And another. Tama has been busted open, but he is still up! Doe into the ropes with chair still in tow, and cracks Tama with another shot, this time sending him down in a heap.
Duke comes into the ring with a ladder, and clocks Haku with it, but its having the same effect the chair had on Tama. Duke wises up, and hits him in the stomach with the ladder. DDT on Doe's chair by Duke. Doe leaves the ring, and gets a table. He brings it back, and props in up in the corner! Remember, all of this is legal next Sunday!
Doe props Tama up in the corner, against the table, while Duke waits in the opposite corner. He runs and hits him with a vicious Jumping Double Knee that would make KENTA proud, sending both men through the table.
Haku gets up, and looks to be going after Duke. But Doe cuts him off with a vicious LARIAT! Duke and Doe do their best to clear the ring of all plunder, as the ref gets to his feet. Doe make the cover on Haku, as Duke throws Tama from the ring.
1
2
3.
This match is over!
Ring Announcer: Your winners of this match, The Cidal Squad!
All 3 members of the Cidal Squad head to the back, looking very pleased.
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Post by Guns of the Samuri on Apr 29, 2007 13:43:23 GMT -5
~Comercial Break~
*A man suddenly appears on the screen, standing in front of a large EWT sign. He was wearinga a nice suit, had long hair tied back into a ponytail, and was wearing glasses. He smiled into the camera as he began speaking*
Person: Hello everyone. My name is Mr. Jack Manson. Now, for those who aren't aware, I was hired a little while back when your sponsors thought that the rpoduct was getting too risky. They were afraid of getting a bad rep. So I was brought in.
*He smiled wider, laughing a bit*
Jack: So look out. Because I am Mr. Jack Manson. And I am Your Company's Censor!
*He laughed more as the screen faded to black*
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Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
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Post by Ass Dan on Apr 29, 2007 22:01:16 GMT -5
IN ONE WEEK 164:59:47
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Post by brokenrose on Apr 29, 2007 23:49:08 GMT -5
*The camera flicks to Juri who slightly smiles as the crowd cheers for her. The frame zooms out to show her standing next to a bald, hairy man that looks as if he has burned up all his brain cells in the 70s.*
Man: Hi, I'm Sleve.... Steve... And I'm here because Sum Guy is afraid of Judith-
BR: *Her pleasant smirk turns into a frown* Juri.
Steve: Right, that. I'm here with the CRP of WET.
BR: ...
Steve: Now Jury, how come you haven't had your match with Blaz... *chuckles like a school girl at the name.*
BR: *She flashes an annoyed glance at him before speaking* Now, while I would love to have my match... It appears that my opponent is also facing my good friend, Synthy Eris. So as much as I would like to have my match, I'm afraid I must decline the match.
*The crowd boos.*
BR: I know. I didn't want to do it. But it would be unfair to Synthy, who has be looking forward to this match for awhile. Why you may....
*Steve has fallen asleep. Meanwhile, the crowd has stopped booing and responds with a slight cheer.*
BR: ...
*She stares at the camera with a look of “Are you serious?”*
BR: ...And so, because I don't want to deny Synthy of an opponent at a 100%. Also, unlike some PEOPLE, I'd rather not lower my standards of match quality by facing an opponent after a hard fought match. So ring the bell, Blaze raise your hand... Because I forfeit the match to you. Happy hunting Synthy, and I hope you have a great matc-
Steve: *Snaps out of cat nap and asks bluntly* What did you think of your boyfriend making googlely eyes with rockstar Lily-Rose?
*The crowd gasps. Juri flinches at the shock of being asked so bluntly about her private life. She grits her teeth before responding.*
BR: I have... No concern with what HE does... Especially if he takes interest in some blonde pop star.
Steve: Even if he's cheating on you?!
BR: *Red in the face* I DO NOT CARE ABOUT HIM!
Steve: *Pressing* You're blushing!
BR: If you don't shut up about Ax-kun, I will....
*Her eyes widen as she realized what she just said.*
BR: I mean, Halaway-sa-
Steve: Just as I thought, you Japanese are always so sneaky. Especially the ones from Japan. But, as always, a white man has out smarted you. HA!
*She quakes in anger, but remembers just what was made known to her about attacking EWT staff and how it is frowned upon. All the while the crowd is egging her on, wanting her to unload on the fool.*
Steve: Can't speak English? Okay, let me talk for you... You love me long ti-
*Boot meets flesh. He falls to the ground as she repeatedly pounds her fists into the stoner's face. All the while she's screaming in Japanese curse words. It takes two guards to lift the fiery Juri as she is screaming, still wanting to hurt Steve. The camera fades on Steve, who's nose is bleeding and missing two teeth.*
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Post by Mella Drom Attoc on Apr 30, 2007 0:41:28 GMT -5
We cut to a quiet room, where a trio of chairs are all lined up in a row, a star and initials scrawled across each of them, as a man walks out slowly from off the side of the screen. He's wearing a beret, poofy brown pants, a bright blue sweater, a pink scarf around his neck, and loafers on his feet. He also has a rather old fashioned mustache and monocle on his face for some reason, as he sits down in yet another chair in front of these three, arms folded.
Man: Hello peoples... as you'd already gathered, I am the famous Zed Pine, director of such great films as " Nightmare in Aisle 5", Sloths of Fury, and "My Mama was a Jamma" Only a week away now is the equally famous extravaganza known simply as Crapmania. To honor this glorious occasion, I have been in contact with the owner of the EWT and gave him the opportunity to make yet another huge moment there. You see, I've been in contact with three huge agents, all of which who've agreed to book an appearance by the three greatest entertainers in the world. Not only that, but we've also agreed to appear before the show for an autograph signing session and give their fans a chance to meet with them. Not only that, but we will also conduct a very special interview LIVE on Crapmania!!!!, where myself and my three friends will come out and tell you peoples what is going on, answering questions from EWT.com, and basically just give everyone the opportunity of a lifetime to hear a bit of what's going on in their rich fulfilling lives. Lives, which sadly, most of you people do not possess yourselves. It is a crying shame, but ah well... suppose you can't help these kind of things boobulahs.
The man adjusts his monocle, looking back at the screen as he does so.
Zed: So join us folks... where you get to see Mick Roogal defend his title against... Jim Five and Mack Rodeo, Disease defend against Lakeish, Crunchwheel defending against Curseasoda... and the STD Gauntlet match, among others. But really, who cares about that stuff, you'll tune in just to see your idols... because that's right, Tim Cruis, Lull Songstra, and Mella Drom Attoc will all be making an appearance! So come for the wrasslin... and stay for the celebs. Because Crapmania!!!! is guaranteed to be on the Walk of Fame with us on it.
Zed grins to himself, before spinning around in this chair, which tips over... showing Zed looking quite annoyed as he slowly gets up, face slowly twisting into anger
Zed: Okay.... whose the wise jerk who made my chair fall over?! Am I gonna have to put the kibosh on the lazy slob's career?! I swear... all I ask from you incompetent boobs is a functional chair for me to sit my toukis in... BUT NO! You folks just gotta screw it all up and make me look like a real goofer! It makes me so nauseous, I wanna ralph all over your faces!!!
Suddenly, a crew guy runs up, whispering something to Pine, who looks wide eyed now, quite annoyed now.
Zed: WHADDYA MEAN SOMEBODY FORGOT TO SHUT OFF THE CAMERA?!
We quickly fade to black.
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Spyke the Pacers Fan
El Dandy
Still hates himself for missing the last episode of Murder She Wrote
Go Indiana!
Posts: 8,061
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Post by Spyke the Pacers Fan on Apr 30, 2007 9:06:35 GMT -5
*Fade in to EWT arena, Lillian Garcia is in the ring*
Lillian: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall! In the ring, from Brooklyn, New York, The Brooklyn Brawler!"
*BB gets some good pops, but a few boos from some hecklers.*
Lillian: "And his opponent..."
*The fans know that BB's opponent is Spyke, so they are pretty surprised when instead of "Tier" by Rammstein, Spyke old theme "Galvanize" by the Chemical Brothers hits. The fans jump to their feet as Spyke does the old leap from behind the curtain. Spyke gets a MASSIVE pop as he dances his way to the ring, slapping high 5's on his way. Nobody even seems to care that this turn is unexpected, they are just glad to have the old Spyke back. Spyke climbs in the ring, poses, and does his familiar breakdancing to more cheers. *
Lillian: "From Stockholm, Sweden. Weighing in at 211 lbs. Spyke Johannson!"
*Spyke shakes hands with Brawler and the ref calls for the bell to start the match*
*bell dings*
Spyke and BB lock-up. Spyke puts BB into a front headlock, but BB pushes out of it. BB charges at Spyke and attempts a clothesline, but Spyke ducks it. Spyke attempts a superkick, but BB grabs his ankle and spins him around, but Spyke uses that momentum and turns it into a Dragon Whip. Pin attempt by Spyke.
1!
Brawler kicks out at 1 1/2. Brawler trips Spyke by swiping his ankles, sending Spyke to the mat. Spyke quickly recovers, but not before Brawler has time to lay into Spyke with a couple of right hand punches. Brawler picks up Spyke and sends him into the ropes, and hits a clothesline on the rebound. Brawler then drops an elbow on Spyke's chest, knocking the wind out of him. Cover by Brawler.
1!
2!
Spyke kicks out at 2. Brawler picks up Spyke to get some more offense in. Brawler lifts Spyke up into the air for a suplex. But Spyke counters out of it and goes behind Brawler. Spyke hits Brawler with a couple of forearm shots before yelling "Yankees suck! Go Tigers!" and then hitting the SwedeDT! Pin by Spyke!
1!
2!
3!
*bell dings*
Lillian: "Your winner! Spyke Johannson!"
*The crowd goes nuts for the win by Spyke, Spyke grabs a microphone*
Spyke: "Hey, hey, hey, cut my music, cut my music. Yes, it's true, the good ol', loveable, Swedish dance master, Spyke Johannson is BACK!"
*crowd pop*
Spyke: "I mulled it over and realized that Rachael was right. I need to get over it. Life is too short to hold a grudge. So I cleaned up my act, got some new threads, and here I am! But Spaz, *tone turns a little more sinister* I haven't forgotten about you. I still have plans for you. You may not agree with them, the audience may not agree with them, but I feel this is something that needs to be done. What I have have planned for you has been a looooonng time coming, old friend. See you at Crap-a-Mania... mate.
*Spyke drops the mic and heads to the back, leaving to a mixed reaction. The crowd is wondering what could Spyke have planned for Spaz at CAM4? Fade to black/commercial/next segment*
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Apr 30, 2007 18:32:53 GMT -5
As we get backf rom commercial, we see Rikishi in the ring, shaking his rump to no one's delight.
Fink: And his opponent....
Instead of Black Label Society's "Fire It Up", "Cool" bu Suga Free begins to play as the fans start to buzz. As the lyrics kick in, Jesse Nunez pops out to cheers from the fans. Nunez slaps high fives with the fans before sliding into the ring, doing the Human Tornado schtick, sticking the middle finger in Rikishi's direction.
Fink: His opponent, from Atlanta, Georgia, weighing in at 219 lbs., he is the Human Hurricane, JESSE NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNEZ!!!!
Nunez keeps the finger in Rikishi's direction before suprising him, hitting a running dropkick the the chest. Rikishi stumbles back into the corner, something Jesse is aware of. Jesse jumps up before cartwheeling to the corner, landing a vicious enzuigiri to the face. Jesse nearly falls out of the ring, but regains his composure as Rikishi falls to the mat. Jesse climbs the ropes and makes a cut-throat motion before landing a Warrior's Way right to the back. Jesse walks over before locking in a modified version of The End (minus the lungblower). The ref doesn't even bother to check as Rikishi taps out wildly, ending the match.
Fink: Here is your winner, JESSE NUNEZ!!
Jesse let's go before exiting the ring, moonwalking his way out as the ref checks on Rikishi.
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