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Post by raftshack on Mar 19, 2007 12:45:10 GMT -5
As we fade back in from commercial, we see Sum Guy, a big stupid grin on his face... as he's standing by with someone.
Sum: I'm Sum Guy and I think I'm in Egypt! I'm standing here with these two guys that were viciously and brutally attacked... those Raft Shack dudes! Tell us Raft Shack dudes... how do ya feel?
The camera pans to the right, showing both guys comically wrapped from head to toe in bandages, save a few eye holes, slumped over and looking very much feeling the effects.
Zelele: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
Faboon: YEOWCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Zeleke: ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Faboon: THE PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zeleke: OUCHIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Faboon: MY NECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zeleke: MY ASS... IT'S RUINED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Faboon: It was ruined before we were all assaulted you fool. Also.... MY LEG!!!!!!
Zeleke: Did they kick your leg... from out of your leg?!
Faboon: ... of course not oaf! They did kick my nose off of my nose... and my ear into my ear.
Sum just stares at these two ramble between themselves.
Sum: You guys sure seem to have gotten quick medical attention.
Zeleke: For that.... thank the golden donkey of injections... he saw our worthiness and allowed us not to die!
Sum: ..... I wish that guy would be nice to me. I always get my ass kicked... and have to wait days to get medical stuff.
Faboon: That is because you fail... also AIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zeleke: MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
Faboon: UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sum: You guys are still in pain?!
Zeleke: Of course we are... those giants from the world of revenge.... they came out of the trees.
Faboon: Yes, we were busy playing nudity games with women...
Zeleke: and men... lotsa men!
Faboon reaches over and smacks Zeleke with his cast-like arm.
Faboon: Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!!!! Or perhaps no?
Sum: Wiat.... how did you guys pick up women.... and men?!
Zeleke: Dudes dig my glorious pink locks man.
Faboon: and... I inebriated all the females.
Sum: Awww.... you guys have all the luck.
Zeleke: OF COURSE WE DO... LUCK CONSUMES OUR SOULS AND DEMANDS A RANSOM OF NOTHINGNESS!!!
Sum: OK then. Well I guess I'll let you guys get back to... whatever you are doing now.
Faboon: Fine... oh and one more moment. GIANT MEAT MEN... you shall pay for assaulting us.... PAY DEARLY AND PAY ALOT! NO DISCOUNTS FOR YOU!
Zeleke: Yes... YOU MAKE US WEAR THESE SILLY BANDAGES! HOW WILL THE YAMS FEEL WHEN THEY INFORM THIS TO THEM?!
Faboon: SOON YOU WILL MEET... THE MIGHTY TIDAL WAVES OF VENGEANCE... AND BE SOAKED BY THEIR FURY!!!
Sum: CAN I SHOUT TOO?!
Both: .... NEVER!!!
Sum: Awww... alright. I'm Sum Guy and I'm sad that they're yelling.
Faboon falls to the ground just before we fade out.
Faboon: MY PELVIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cut to next segment.
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Bedlam LadyD
Samurai Cop
Is a WSX Cupcake. BOOOOOOOM!!
Posts: 2,452
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Post by Bedlam LadyD on Mar 19, 2007 17:58:54 GMT -5
That errie music from before starts up again, only this time, the woman does not come out. She appears on the screen, looking tremendously pale. All eyes are on her, as her violet eyes pierce through the screen to the audience.
"I...hate...disease. It gets in the way of even the most perfectly placed plans. And Christ did I have plans....I had planned on taking this ring by storm, but unfortunately, fate had other things on her mind. I was told I was supposed to have a match tonight....that, most painfully, is something I cannot attend. I won't be there for the one thing I've lived for. My dreams are at risk...because of a stupid virus that decided to manipulate my body...MY OWN BODY...for it's personal use....I'm now a host to a sickness that can't be cured with simple relaxation alone...I have to go through...what I'll compare to burning hoops to beat it. The girl I was...won't be the same after this. I'll be stronger, and I gua-ren-damn-tee I'll be able to prove what my last speech was about. I am among the best, and I won't let some silly little venom in my blood stop me from that. Rest assured, I'll be back. Maybe not soon, but you can count on my words. So say I, Queen of Chaos, and Protector of Pride. Fare well, and I'm sure I'll be seeing you again."
She places that black pair of cat-eye sunglasses over her eyes. Her skin is very pale, leaving the audience to wonder what's really going on with the newly acquired female wrestler. With a snap of her fingers, she disappears.
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Mar 19, 2007 20:06:36 GMT -5
[glow=white,2,300]A
STARR
IS
COMING.....
CHRISTIAN STARR....
COMING IN 3 DAYS, TO EWT [/glow]
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2007 22:25:19 GMT -5
*Somewhere in the city outside of the EWT arena, it is nearly pitch-dark, and storming to levels comparable to a monsoon. The camera is apparently facing on the side of a street, focusing on an alley even darker than the surrounding environment. Parked nearby is a Jaguar, and standing next to the alley are 4 people, all wearing slick leather trenchcoats and hats. 1 man, the tallest, is in the front, followed by a somewhat shorter man and a woman. Behind them is another man, hair tied back and sticking out from behind; he is uneasy, and his looking back and forth, as if something is watching them. The two men furthest in front have a variation on their coats--big golden epaulettes on the shoulders, buckles on the front, and big pockets on the sides, trimmed by gold, and golden flecks about the jacket in running veins. The man in front is holding a briefcase. It, in all logic, can be assumed to be TJT and Jack.*
Thunder*whispering*: Alright, you know the deal. You give us what we want, we give you what you want. Consider this...a down payment.
*A flash of lightning reveals Terina to be smiling in a scheming sort of way, while Jason has a much more sinister and dark look--yet still seems to be happy. Jack continues to nervously look back and forth, back and forth.*
Terina: And the cash will keep flowing.
Jason: You remember that; you'll have the most powerful allies in the world on your side.
Terina: Refuse? And it's a vendetta you'll get--and you'll face divine pacification from the Ministry of Peace.
Thunder: Here you go.........
*Thunder drops the briefcase and slides it halfway into the shadowy darkness of the alleyway.*
*TJT turn around and walk away, a giggle from Terina that seems as though she's wished death pn someone, and a demonic cackle from Jimmy Thunder and Jason Jupiter. Jack stops worrying, and immediately shows a darker, brooding expression. The camera follows them as they get into the car and speed off, disappearing into the outside. The camera turns to the alleyway, and the briefcase is mysteriously gone. A sudden crash of thunder and lighting, and the camera fades out, rain and wind intensifying.*
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Mar 20, 2007 1:11:40 GMT -5
*We cut to the EWT ring & Farooq is standing in the ring.*
Bobby Cruiz: Currently in the ring, from Warner Robbins, GA, weighing in at 270 lbs he is a former WCW World Champion & WWE Tag Team Champion Farooq!
*Farooq accepts the cheers with a horns up. Wheres The Party At starts up & Spaz heads to the ring.*
BC: And his opponent, from Sydney, Australia, weighing in at 216 lbs he is a 2 time former OX Divison Champion & Former EWT World Heavyweight Champion he is Spaz!!
*Spaz climbs into the ring & shakes hands with Farooq. The bell rings & the two men lock up. Farooq throws Spaz backwards into the corner & he charges, levelling Spaz with a clothesline. Spaz gets up quickly & the two men trade punches. Spaz catches Farooq's hand & pulls him into a Down Under DDT. Spaz stands & Climbs up the turnbuckle. He waits for Farooq to stand & He levels him with a Missile Dropkick. Spaz tries a cover.*
1 2 NO!
*Farooq kicks out. Both men stand, Farooq grabs Spaz's arm & whips him off the ropes. Spaz ducks a clothesline but Farooq catches him with a Spinebuster on the way back. Farooq drops & hooks the leg.*
1 2 KICKOUT!!
*Spaz fights out of it & both men rise. Farooq swings at Spaz & Spaz ducks it & gets behind. He locks on & nails a German Suplex, Spaz rises & nails a Second German, Spaz then rises again. He swtiches & now plants Farooq with a Vertical Suplex, Spaz pops his hips & rises again. This time he hooks the leg & nails a Fisherman's Suplex. Spaz keeps hold of the leg & tries a pin.*
1 2 KICKOUT!!
*The crowd applauds Spaz's effort & Farooq resiliance. Spaz stands & Farooq stays down. Spaz signals to the corwd that he is ready to end the match. Spaz waits for Farooq to rise but he doesn't see Ratings is in the ring behind him! Ratings grabs hold of Spaz's arm & whips him into the ropes. As Spaz bounces back Ratings charges & levels Spaz with the Finale! The ref calls for the bell. As we cut to commercial we see Ratings standing triumhantly over a fallen Spaz.*
CUT TO COMMERCIAL
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Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
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Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Mar 20, 2007 3:27:46 GMT -5
*As we fade in from commercial, we see the EWT Staff Room sealed off... as it seems something is occupying it. The camera zooms in, revealing that the words "Keep Out" have been carved into the wooden entrance. Various nameless EWT employees are simply looking at each other, in complete bewilderment, wondering exactly what they should do about this. Just then, the Wrestle Posse walk into view which causes a few cheers.*
Axel: Look I don't think we are going to find any-
Jobby: But I want a Pepsi Free!
Axel: ...Ugh.
Jobby: Hey, what's that supposed to be?!
Axel: I swear you have ADD.
Jobby: Well, I am a positive person!
Axel: No, I mean... Forget it.
*A few of the random employees look around, spotting the Wrestle Posse as they approach, some of them marking out for some reason.*
Random Employee #1: Awesome it's Jobby and.... Hazel!
Jobby: Hello everybody! ....Who's Hazel?
Axel: It's official, I'm the Andrew Ridgeley of this team.
Jobby: Who?
Axel: ...
Random Employee #2: Eh... I wouldn't go in there. That crazy furry guy ran in and beat up a bunch of nameless generic employees. Says he won't come out until somebody gives him back his stupid animal suit thing.
Axel: Well, then we'd best just ignore that Disney fetished freak
*He looks to Jobby.*
Axel: Right, Ja....
*Jobby's gone and the door is wide open.*
Axel: Oh goddamn it.
*The camera follows Axel as he walks into ground zero. As soon as Jobby enters, a can of Sunkist is chucked right at him, missing and exploding against the wall, getting all over the floor, as the camera zooms over. The vending machines have been ripped open, their contents split onto the ground... the fridge tipped on it's side... now unplugged from the wall, as from the corner, a still wrestling attire suited Crauswell glares from a corner of the room, now aiming a Mountain Dew at the intruder's skull.*
Crauswell: If you value your life mammal... you'll bring me my cherished suit. Or I'll have to get up and snap your pathetic neck like the toothpick it is right between my almighty paws. And don't think I'm bluffing... because I won't hesitate to prove you wrong!
Jobby: Hey, Biiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrddddddmaaaan! Do you have any Pepsi-Free?
*Craus responds by chucking Pepsi One and Pepsi Jazz right at Jobby's head... not giving him a verbal answer, as he simply continues to glare from behind that deceivingly cute masked face of his. Jobby absentmindedly moves his head to the side, while Axel throws himself out of the way in order not to get hit.*
Jobby: No, that's not quite it...
Axel: Jay, can we just leave?!
Jobby: Not without my drink!
Axel: This guy is obviously off his rocker, I mean he's been out of his suit so long that he forgot that birds have talons and not paws.
Craus: I'm not a bird anymore... that form was taken from me along with my suit.! Now... all I am is a common rodent. A pathetic little rat serving as little more than an aggravation to people... a role I shall willingly embrace until I get my feathered armor back...
Axel: ...AND on that note, let's just go
Jobby: But if you are a rat... Why don't you have a suit to go with it?
Axel: Jay, I really don't think this is the time for-
Craus: What... you expect me to just sew up a new suit in such a short period of time?! And don't even tell me to order one... I don't accept " Manufactured" garbage... are you trying to get even more infuriated?!
Jobby: No, of course not! Just I'm saying that I've been making some great costumes lately and I have been able to make things rather quickly
Axel: For what exactly?
Jobby: Secret!
Axel: Of...course.
Jobby: But I've been having a problem with a lack of material. So I've been using whatever I can find.
Axel: What?
Jobby: Yeah, it a great way to get supplies! Especially discarded ring attires...
*Crauswell looks a bit interested, as he looks up, slowly rising from his crouching position, looking back at Jobby in a bit of peaked curiosity.*
Craus: Hmmmm... I suppose it wouldn't hurt to see these.... projects. Alright fine... let's see what you've got exactly.
Jobby: Sure! Come to the Possecave!
Axel: AKA the broom closet
Jobby: You want to come too Axel?
Axel: Well I could try and actually enjoy myself, but then you'll just end up getting yourself into trouble. And then we won't be able to win our PPV match.
*Craus slowly rises up completely standing on both feet now as he nods slowly, approaching the two now, but still keeping on a slightly cautious gaze on them both, not trusting them completely of course.*
Craus: This better not be a waste of my time...
Axel: You don't watch much EWT programming, do you?
Jobby: I'll lead the way!
Axel: Couldn't I do that, while you talk to Mr. Well?
Jobby: No.
Axel: Why?
Jobby: BECAUSE I HAVE THE POWAH!!!!
*Jobby runs at full speed down the hallway, leaving Crauswell & Axel behind.*
Axel: ...I swear, he has to go crash sometime.
*Crauswell says nothing, walking by Axel without a word, as he slowly follows behind the quick moving Jobby, arms folded now as he glances from side to side, still untrusting to everyone he passes.*
Axel: ...So... Are you like offended when a sports team has a bird for a mascot?
Craus: ..... are you offended when a sports team has a pathetic human as a mascot?
Axel: No, because I'm not a pathetic human. I'm a symbol of what humanity should aspire to be.
*He adjusts his shades.*
Axel: But I see what you did there, nice.
Jobby: ALMOST THERE!
Axel: Why are you taking a long way?
Jobby: Suspense!
Axel: Well, I'm taking the short way.
Jobby: I'll beat you there!
Axel: Yeah, sure.
*Jobby runs at full speed down a corridor on the right, while Axel turns to the left and opens a door marked cheaply "Wrestle Posse".*
Axel: I haven't got the heart to tell him that he's just going in a circle.
*Crauswell says nothing, following Axel, as he watches Jobby speed off, gazing upon poor Jobby's obliviousness, as he looks back at Axel.*
Axel: 5....4.....3....2....
Jobby: OH DARN IT! YOU BEAT ME AGAIN!
Axel: Imagine that.
Jobby: Well, are you ready for the most amazing... Most secretive..... Most mysterious locker room in all of E-
Craus: *interrupting* Just get to the point before I lose my patience...
Axel: You are a better man than me.
Craus: ....man? MAN?!
Axel: Or bird-like thingie. Whatever, you get was I was trying to say. Don't lay an egg on me.
Jobby: Can he do that?
*Craus growls silently, resisting his urge to wallop them both right in the face as he looks down at the floor... holding his head in his hands.*
Axel: Just show him what he wants, so I can go back to my room.
Jobby: Will do!
*Jobby enters and then shuts the door in both Axel's and Crauswell's face.*
Jobby: I don't want anyone to know where I hid these!
Axel: Let me guess, it's in your second bag that you have on top of the locker.
Jobby: ................no.....
*A bag is heard being dragged off of a locker. Then Jobby opens the door to invite them in.*
*Crauswell quickly enters, not wasting any time, clearly wanting to be done with this as soon as possible as he steps into the room. Axel follows, fully expecting this to be a waste of time.*
Jobby: Okay... Now, would you please close your eyes and I wi-
*Crauswell sighs, quickly covering his beady little eyeholes, as he simply looks down at the floor, waiting as patiently as he possibly can, which isn't very much of course.*
Axel: Look, just get on with this.
Jobby: Does he need to return back to his eggs to warm them?
Axel: JUST GET ON WITH IT!
Jobby: Oh kay!
*Jobby unzips the bag and pulls out his first out fit. It's very similar to King Booker's attire, although very cheap looking.*
Jobby: What do you think?!
*Crauswell looks up, not very impressed as he inspects it.*
Craus: Even though the thought of being royalty intrigues me, that isn't even close to what I'm looking for!
Jobby: Oh kay! Here's my next one...
*He pulls out a neon colored Kane outfit, complete with a mask that has a head band on it.*
Jobby: How about this?!
*Craus looks over at it, almost immediately hating the thing.*
Crauswell: I've seen more appealing piles of fecal matter... are you trying to insult me with these outfits?!
Jobby: What does pile mean?
Axel: ...Just show him the worst you have.
*Crauswell looks over at Axel in bewilderment.*
Axel: Believe me, that's how it works for him
Jobby: ALRIGHTY!
*Jobby pulls out very nice eagle suit. Almost something that Crauswell would be into, but it has the same colors that one would expect from Jobby. And a yellow head band.*
Axel: Where did you get the materials for that?
Jobby: I found them just laying around.
*Crauswell looks it over... liking it quite a bit, until he sees the headband.*
Crauswell: What is this?! WHAT IS THIS?!
Jobby: A totally awesome head band!
Crauswell: Do you think I'm a joke?! Obviously you do... putting this idiotic... wait a second! THIS IS MY SUIT ISN'T IT?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO IT... YOU'VE MADE IT INTO AN UNINTELLIGIBLE MESS! I can't wear this... no self respecting being can! It's spitting in the face of me by just offering this rag to me... let alone asking me to wear it. You stole the suit... ADMIT IT, so you could make these garbage hand me downs that nobody in their right mind woudl buy! Trying to commercialize my look... that is beyond low. It makes me want to RIP YOU INTO SHREDS!!!
Jobby: ...When did I offer it to you?
Axel: Whoa whoa whoa! Calm down! He didn't take your suit!
*Crauswell isn't listening, as he lunges forward, trying to grab right at Jobby's throat! Jobby moves out of the way, still holding the eagle suit.*
Axel: HEY BIRD BRAIN TWO THINGS!
*Jobby is running away from Crauswell in a complete circle.*
Axel: FIRST, I think that suit is made from an old fur coat he bought at a thrift store and second... It's an EAGLE!
Jobby: It was a good price to-
Axel: Aren't you supposed to be a condor or something?
Crauswell: GRYPHON!!!! GRYPHON!!!! GRY-PHON!!!!
*Crauswell loses it, unleashing a mighty overhand palm slap right to Axel's face, as he then grabs the eagle costumes, sliding his mask up and biting into it, tearing the thing to shreds, strewing about whatever's inside it as he lets out a mighty howl of anger, dropping it before Jobby, his mask now slid back over his face as he kicks the door open, angrily charging away, knocking down a few people in his pathway as he does so. Axel rubs his face while Jobby looks down at the shredded suit in disbelief.*
Axel: Jay.... Uh.....
Jobby: ........
*Axel looks down at the suit.*
Axel: Is that Asbestos?
Jobby: I guess so.
Axel: Well chewing that certainly isn't healthy for you.
Jobby: .......all my work......
Axel: ....Uh.......Um......... I heard they were giving away Marty McFly vests at that club you like.
Jobby: REALLY!?
Axel: ....Sure.
*They both walk out of the room.*
Jobby: *voice* I'm thirsty, let's get a Pepsi Free first!
Axel: *voice* Why do I have the feeling that my life goes in a circle?
*The camera focuses on the shredded suit before the camera signs off.*
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Post by respectmeordye3 on Mar 21, 2007 11:29:27 GMT -5
"Do You Wanna Be A Hero?" blasts through the speakers as Singapore Caine runs down the ramp and into the ring where his opponent already awaits.
The bell rings and Singapore Caine responds instantly with a swinging neckbreaker to One Man Gang.
Jumping to his feet he mounts the nearest top turnbuckle, lifts up his opponent with all his strength and gives him a pile driver off the top turnbuckle.
Caine goes for the pin.....
1... 2... 3!
Singapore Caine has won!
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Mar 21, 2007 16:00:04 GMT -5
*In a corridor are Mysth and Sum Guy, ready for an interview.*
Sum Guy : I' m Sum Guy and I' ve eaten too much oysters for dinner yesterday. I' m with Mysth here, to ask him a few questions about EWT' s next Pay Per View, Dead Man Walking. Mysth, you' ve been the first participant to be announced by Spaz to be part of his team and after the match, the situation got quite out of hand. So Mysth, do you feel ready at the moment ?
Mysth : Oh yeah, Sum. I' m more ready than ever. You know, my first try at a team match here in EWT was a mud splash for me. And I want to get the mud out of my skin. You see Sum, I like to do things on my own, so if I do well, I know it' s only thanks to my own self, but if I screw up, I know it' s all my fault. But when chance brings me to take part in a team, there' s one thing I hate with an Everest high passion : being an embarrassment to my teammates and causing them to lose. That' s what happened once, it' s not gonna happen twice. There' s no way Team Spaz loses. I trained like an enraged bull and look at my partners ! Eddie Omega and Markus Trunk, two classics, and Aaron Chamblis, the most promising newcomer at the very moment we speak. And look at the excuse Ratings found as a... can we call this joke a team ? Can you only believe that, Sum ? Two traitors, an egocentric freak who is his own single fan and a tutor who needs his mama' s help because he' s too afraid to go on the ring alone. Let' s be serious for a second, Sum. We' re not going to beat them. We' re going to DISINTEGRATE them ! But we, Team Spaz, we care about the fans, so even though this match is gonna be piece of cake, it will be a nice sugary, yummy cake ! This is gonna be a wrestlefest !
Sum Guy : No doubt, Mysth ! Maybe you' d want to say someth...
Mysth : Oh and by the way, Ratings. You said, if I recall, " the French haven' t won a fight in 500 years," right ? Well, maybe you' ve heard of that French guy here at EWT who defeated the first ever EWT royalty AND beat half of Team Ireland in less than TWO WEEKS !! So please, before you open your rotten cake hole, make sure you check the truthfulness of your claims...
Sum Guy : We are sure looking forward to this match but Mysth, I also wanted to ask you... about those weird phenomenons with the black spots and all that you' ve experienced lately... do you have an explanation about them ?
Mysth : Of course ! You see, Sum... all those events were linked to water... and how many EWT wrestlers do you know that can use water as a weapon ?
*Sum Guy is thinking.*
Sum Guy : Hum... humm...
Mysth : I know only ONE of them ! It' s Maelstrom ! So Maelstrom, superglue all the parts of what remains of your ears and listen : I don' t know why you' re after me like that, but I already know of all the ways I' ll use to get revenge for the way you harass me day after day. You thought being eaten alive by a shark was bad... but wait until you have to face the Darkness In The Light, and you' ll rush to your giant goldfish and beg him to shorten your pain !
*At this very moment, something hits Mysth.*
Sum Guy : AAAAAAAAAAAH !!!! AN ATTACK !! MYSTH IS HURT !! MYSTH IS HURT !!
Mysth : Ahem... I' m NOT, Sum...
Sum Guy : You survived !!
Mysth : Hmmm yeah... I survived the... HIGHLY DANGEROUS assault of a wadded up piece of paper... hey look at it, it seems to have been burnt on the edges and tea aged, like if it was made to look like an old parchement... but it' s obviously something recent...
Sum Guy : Open it ! Open it !
Mysth : YOU ARE OVEREXCITED !!
*Mysth opens the the binder paper up. There' s something written on it, Mysth reads aloud :*
Mysth : "I have decided to come early. Arr!"
...
...
Sweet mother of God the hell this is ??
Sum Guy : I' m Sum Guy and I ARE OVEREXCITED !!
*Cuts to commercial.*
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Post by Tha Kid Joker on Mar 21, 2007 16:01:22 GMT -5
Cut backstage to Sum Guy standing with Cassinova. Cass is sweating slightly, having just warmed up for his match against Ricky Steamboat, and has a slight smile on his face. Sum Guy stares stupidly in the camera for a few seconds before speaking.
Sum: Hello, I'm Sum Guy, standing here with one of EWT's fastest rising stars and number one contender to the Ox-Division title: Cassinova.
In the background, the fans can be heard giving a mixed reaction to the mention of Cass's name.
Sum: Cass, there are very many questions that I just have to ask you. First of all, what happened to your match last week with that Mean Street Posse guy?
Cassinova raises an eyebrow.
Cassinova: You mean Ricky?
Sum: Rodney.
Cass: That's what I said, Rory.
Sum sighs.
Sum: Yeah... him...
Cassinova: Well, let's just say he ran into some... difficulties a few minutes before the match...
Sum Guy puts his face into his hand.
Sum: Oh god... you jumped him from behind, didn't you?
Cassinova grins and points at Sum Guy quickly.
Cassinova: Hah! I knew you'd say that! I totally called it. Well, for your information, I didn't jump him from behind. I'm not going to lie, I mean, I thought about it... but I decided he might see it coming.
Sum: Okay... and then?
Cassinova: Get this... I crept up on him, got to his left, and then jumped him!
There's an awkward pause between the two. Sum Guy just stares at Cass in disbelief.
Sum: ...You jumped him from the SIDE?!
Cassinova: Hell yeah, man! I've gotta switch my game up once in a while.
Sum: ...Ever occur to you that he might see you coming from the side?
Cass shrugs.
Cassinova: Nah... he was just sitting in his lockerroom and was too busy weeping at the thought of how quickly his career vanished into thin air. Hell, if anything I saved him, because I seriously think he was going to break out the razor blades at any moment.
Cassinova rubs his index finger across his wrist a few times.
Sum: Shame.
Cassinova: Cha, man. But yeah, I put him in the hospital. What's your next question?
Sum: Uh... oh yeah! How come you have two matches at Dead Man Walking?
Cassinova: I'm just that fly.
Sum: Fair enough...
Cassinova: No, but seriously. I already had Crauswell on my "People to Annihilate" list, and then Ratings approached me with what he said was "my first step through the doorway to stardom."
Sum: And you said?
Cassinova: "Uh... f*** yeah!"
Sum: So now you have two matches?
Cassinova: Uh... f*** yeah!
Sum: Stop saying that. You're alright with pulling double-duty? I mean, your match with Craus is Falls Count Anywhere, and the tag-team match could go on for some time...
Cassinova: Are you serious? I could beat Crauswell with one hand tied behind my back, a blindfold, and...
Sum (along with Cass): Five Brooklyn thugs shooting at you from ringside. Been a while since you used that line...
Cassinova: Well, I assumed it was a given. It should be especially easy to beat that clown since some schmuck stole his pigeon uniform.
Sum: But didn't you...
Cassinova: Shut up! Uh... hello? National television. Chickens watch TV too.
Sum: Craus is a griffin...
Cassinova: So what? I'm supposed to be afraid of him because he's related to those Family Guy people?
Sum puts his face in his hand again.
Sum: Lord, help him...
Cassinova: Anyway... yeah, after I slaughter and deep-fry ol' Harvey Birdman, and systematically destroy the nameless toy soldiers on Spitz' team...
Sum: Spaz...
Cassinova: Your mother...
Sum: No, I didn't call you a spas, I... oh, nevermind...
Cassinova blinks confusedly.
Cassinova: ...Ugh, you made me lose my train of thought. Whatever. There's nothing I haven't already said by now anyway. Going to man-handle Sprite's team at Dead Man Walking, going to become the Ox-Division champion, going to piss on everyone who doubted me and a thousand other cliches. Yada yada yada, blah blah blah, I'm out.
Cassinova puts on his sunglasses and throws up the peace sign before departing. Sum Guy just scratches his head and shrugs before walking in the other direction. Soon after, we...
FADE TO COMMERCIAL
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Mar 21, 2007 17:10:17 GMT -5
Backstage, Koda is suiting up for his match as his goons walk in.
Grover: Koda, we need to talk.
Koda: About what?
Grover: I found this amongst our luggage when we settled down into the hotel room.
Grover shows Koda a Spartan helmet.
Koda: Oh god damn it, Calvin, Rutherford, I thought I TOLD you guys to stop this nonsense!
Grover: It was in YOUR bag, sir.
Koda: WHAT?! Ok, who put it there?!
Calvin: I didn't go near your bag.
Rutherford: I was to hungover to even think of anything, really.
Koda: Grover....how could you?!
Grover: It wasn't me, sir! I promise!
Koda: LIES!
Koda slaps Grover as hard as he can. Grover stares in awe, and then begins to cry.
Grover: I'm sorry sir! I swear I didn't do it, and I don't know who did!
Koda: Fine...I believe you, no really, I do. Come here, give me a huge.
Grover: Ok....
Grover goes to hug Koda, but Koda grabs him and slams his head into the locker room wall.
Koda: Now all is forgiven. Now, come, let's go and kick a giant's ass.
Koda leaves the room as Grover, Rutherford, and Calvin huddle together.
Grover: Listen, I don't like the way he's been treating us lately....it isn't right.
Calvin: But he loves us, he only punishes us to show us his love.
Grover: I guess you're right, come, let's go cheer him on.
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Post by thecursedone on Mar 21, 2007 23:47:21 GMT -5
*The crowd looks uncertainly at the ring as some nameless wrestler is in the ring.* Finkel: First in the ring... From Jobstown, New Jersey... Goin' 2 Lose! *Lose lifts his arm but gets hardly any cheers. Finkel nervously checks his notes once or twice before his next statement.* Finkel: And his opponent.... * Some seemingly spooky music plays, but suddenly takes a bizarre turn. * *A very short and fat man in a cheap looking parrot suit bursts out from the EWT curtain, flapping his arms as he “soars” to right of the stage. He continues to flap his “wings”, leaving the EWT crowd very confused. But just then, a man in a very stereotypical pirate outfit walks out from the curtain and strikes the Captain Morgon pose.* Finkel: From Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrkansas, by way of the Sea... Weighting in at 226 lbs... Being accompanied to the ring by Polly.... SIMON SCURVY! Scurvy: ARRRRRRRRRR!!!! JBL: ...What the hell? *Scurvy holds out his hand and Polly “flaps his wings” over to him excitedly to “land” on Simon's arm to “perch”. Simon struts down the ramp with a “pirate” like stagger, all the while Polly is “perched” on Simon's arm (walking behind him). He reaches the end of the ramp and reaches in his pocket with his free hand. He pulls out chocolate gold candy and throws it out into the crowd. He then lets out a big “pirate” laugh and finishes with a massive...* Scurvy: AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! JBL: It's official, I hate this guy. I want him fired for impersonating a wrestler. Or a pirate. Whatever, just make him go away! Cole: Oh come on partner, he's funny! JBL: Do you just live to see me suffer? Or are you just a big fan of “pirates”, Cole? Cole: I....have...no idea what you are talking about. *He climbs the steps of the stairs, “rests” Polly to “perch” on the turnbuckle, and unsheathes his plastic cutlass. He points it at Goin' with reckless abandon, and just to let him know that he means business, Scurvy lets out a monstrous...* Scurvy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! *The odd music ends, the bell rings, and Goin' 2 Lose looks very confused. Scurvy begins to skip around him, poking him with his plastic cutlass, and letting out a great...* Scurvy: AAARRR- *Lose levels Scurvy with a hard Clothesline.* JBL: THANK GOD! *Polly “flaps his wings” franticly at the sight of Scurvy being felled but all that does is get feathers every where.* Polly: SQAUK!!! *Lose lifts up Scurvy to his feet and locks him into a Suplex position. He then executes it, with all the impact going right to Scurvy's back. Polly “flies” from his “perch” and attempts to get Lose's attention.* Polly: SQUAK!!! JBL: I'm in hell. Cole: Why do you say that, John? JBL: Are we watching the same damn match!? Cole: I think it's funny. JBL: You would Cole... You WOULD FIND A FAT ASS IN A CHEAP CHICKEN SUIT FUNNY! YOU ALSO WOULD FIND A GROWN MAN IN A CHILDREN'S PIRATE COSTUME FUNNY WOULD YOU?! Cole: It's a parrot suit, John. JBL: That does it, I'm not speaking for the rest of this segment! Cole: But then I can't play off of anybody! JBL: Then there's going to be no more commentary for the rest of this match. Cole: ... *Back to the match, Lose has driven Polly back to his perch and walks back over to the downed Scurvy. He bends down to pick up Scurvy, but gets locked into a Small Package!* 1! 2! 3! Finkel: and your winner of this match, SIMON SCURVY! JBL: WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?! Cole: I believe he calls that move, “Skull and Crossbones”. JBL: “Skull and Crossbones”?! It's a DAMN Small Package!!! *Lose rolls out of the ring, trying to avoid being seen after such a major upset. Polly “flies” into the ring to “perch” on the shoulders of his owner as he begins to rise. Scurvy calls for Finkel to give him the mic.* JBL: Oh no... No..no...no...no! Please merciful god no! Scurvy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR, ME MATEYS! TIS I, SIMON SCURVY, AND THIS IS MY LOYAL FRIEND.... POLLY! Polly: SQUAK!!! Scurvy: AND I'M HERE TO MAKE WAVES IN EWT... ARRRRRRRR! JBL: Make waves? What is this, some child's show?! Cole: Hush, John, he's still talking! JBL: Tell me to hush again, and you'll never walk again! Scurvy: AAARRRR! ME LOYAL PIRATE CREW!!! I HAVE ALREADY MADE WAVES WITHIN THE EWT, MY PRESSENSE HAS BEEN HERE FOR A SCORE OF DAYS! JBL: What is he talking about? Scurvy: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR! MYSTH THINKS THAT MALESTROM HAS BEEN THE CAUSE OF ALL THESE PROBLEMS?! HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THE MOVIES!? DO YOU NOT KNOW THE HISTORY OF THE SEAS?! ONLY A PIRATE CAN GIVE YOU A BLACK SPOT!!! ARRRRRRRRRR!!! Polly: SQUAK!!!! Scurvy: I'M GETTING THERE, POLLY!!! ARRRR! YOU SEE, MYSTH ME MATE, MALESTROM DIDN'T CAUSE ALL THOSE INCIDENTS.... T'WAS ME!!!! Polly: SQUAK!!! Cole: What?! Simon Scurvy has been the one torturing Mysth? JBL: Makes sense, he's torturing me quite well! Scurvy: SO MYS- *Before he can finish his line, Mysth comes exploding out of the back with vengeance on his mind. But before he can make it to the ring, Scurvy & Polly flee through the crowd. Mysth enters the ring and begins to pace back & forth as his revenge has alluded him.* JBL: What just happened tonight? Cole: Arrr! John, a pirate be in EWT. JBL: Cole, if you want to not live anymore... Keep talking. *Camera fades out.*
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Post by pta on Mar 22, 2007 13:25:04 GMT -5
As Moe the janitor is finishing up cleaning the ring from all the loosened feathers from Polly earlier on, Bad News Brown's theme starts up the crowd giving a big mixed reaction as he heads down to the ring.
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from New York City, New York, weighing in at 260 pounds, Bad News Brown!
Brown simply climbs into the ring, smacking Moe in the back of the head, then chucking him out of the ring, as he sneers from his actions, stepping inside the ring and waiting. Soon enough, Pomp and Circumstance starts up as Tutor Tyreese steps out, along with Principal Pain, arms folded behind his back as he simply heads down the aisle, Pain following as usual.
Announcer: Introducing the opponent, now residing in Dover Delaware, weighing in at 226 pounds, Tutor Tyreese!
Tyreese walks up to the ring, using the steel steps to ascend, then climbing inside, giving one of his looks of disgust as he eyes Brown on the other side. Brown steps to the center of the ring on the other side. Immediately both men lock up, Brown swinging to the side, grabbing and taking Tyreese down with a Leg Wheel! Tyreese acks, Brown dropping a leg across the throat. Tyreese grasps at it in pain as Brown goes for a quick cover. 1.... easy kick out by Tyreese. Brown lifts him back up, setting him up for a suplex, Tyreese blocks, then grabbing Brown's arm, going into an Arm Wrench. Brown quickly escapes, turning it into one of his own, then taking Tyreese down a Judo Throw to the mat! Tyreese is back up, looking a bit annoyed as he charges to lock up again, only to get caught by a Hip Toss! Brown then hits a nasty kick to the seated Tyreese as he grasps at the area. He pulls Tyreese up, launching him with a Back drop Suplex! He goes for a cover again. 1...2 Tyreese kicks out again. Brown hmmmms, now hitting some quick kicks to the back again, before pulling him back up, now hitting some forearms to the area. Tyreese grasps at his back, as Brown goes for a clothesline, which Tyreese ducks, coming back off the ropes and quickly rolling Brown up with a School Boy! 1... Brown quickly kicks out of that.
Tyreese reaches in, grabbing the arm and hitting a swift arm wrench, than falling to the mat and finishing with an arm breaker! He then flips from the position, turning the move into a Fujiwara Armbar! Brown grimaces a bit, but quickly starts getting back to a vertical base, Tyreese eventually switching to a standing armbar now as he applies pressure. Brown hits him quick elbows, loosening the hold, then going off the ropes, only to get caught by a Drop Toe hold! Brown hits the mat, as Tyreese floats over, going for a Cross Armbreaker, but Brown frees himself again, pulling his arm away. Tyreese looks annoyed, as he switches tactics, going behind and grabbing Brown's leg, smashing it into the mat! He follows with another, before flipping him over, lifting it up, then snapping it back! Brown grimaces a bit, clutching the leg, while Tyreese hops back over, locking in the Cross Arm Breaker again. Brown growls, fighting the submission move, as he instinctively rolls backwards, onto his stomach. Tyreese quickly switches again, turning into a Pumphandle Armbar, as he continues to crank on it. Brown groans, as he continues to resist, quickly positioning himself as he crawls from out between Tyreese's legs. Tyreese looks angry now, as Brown rises up, Tyreese twisting the arm again, going for a falling Arm Breaker! Brown quickly pulls his arm away though, nursing it though as damage has indeed been done. Tyreese lands flat on his back, Brown delivering a stomp to the chest in gratitude. He walks over, gingerly hoisting him up, lifting him up and hitting a Vertical Suplex, grasping at the arm briefly, before going for another cover. 1....2.. Tyreese once again kicks out. Brown hmmmms, gingerly pulling him up again, hitting a swift knee to the chest. Tyreese doubles over, as Brown scoops and slams! Tyreese grasps at the back further, grimacing in pain as Brown lifts him up again, up onto his back and right into a Samoan Drop! He covers once more. 1....2....
No! Tyreese gets the shoulder up this time as Brown looms over, nursing the arm still, as he waits. Tyreese slowly gets to his feet, as he gets a kick to the chest, followed by some quick punches, as he sets him up and connects with a quick Implant DDT! Tyreese's face bounces hard off the mat as he groans, slowly kneeling up to his feet, as Brown leaps up, going for the Ghetto Blaster! Tyreese however ducks it, as Brown quickly kneels, Tyreese quickly hopping onto Brown's back, clinching in the Class Dismisser!
Brown gasps in pain now as Tyreese applies pressure, keeping the hold on, as Brown slowly tries crawling towards the bottom rope. Tyreese however keeps applying further and further pressure as he sits on Brown. Brown refuses to give though, as Tyreese hmmms, breaking the hold, quickly pulling Brown back up, hoisting him up and bringing him down with a Shin Breaker! Brown gasps in pain, Tyreese grabbing the same leg and hitting a Dragon Screw, sending Brown to the mat. He smiles to himself, folding his arms as Brown rises up, only to get taken down with a knee clip immediately! Tyreese then grabs the same leg, locking in an ankle lock, dropping down and dragging him to the center of the ring, smashing the leg into the mat again, as he once again switches, the Class Dismisser once again applied, only now in the center of the ring. Brown struggles as long as he can to hold on, desperately crawling towards the ropes, but in the end he just can't hold on and taps out.
Announcer: Here is your winner.... Tutor Tyreese!
Tyreese quickly gets off as Pain nods with approval, walking over and fetching a microphone, as he enters the ring, a confident look on his face.
Pain: In roughly four days... my protege and friend here will be competing with his lucky team-mates, against another team... headed by that.... aggravating, bothersome, little punk who humiliated me. Spaz! We've tangled in the past, many times since the glorious war between Generation Tech and the PTA. A battle that nearly destroyed us both... which you and your lucky little pals barely managed to snatch victory for. An impressive victory, but as I said, a fluke.
The crowd boos, angrily disagreeing with this accusation.
Pain: And now you stand in the way of my powerful apprentice here, the man known as Tutor Tyreese. A man that could wrestle circles around you in mere seconds. Not only that, but I am aligned with the impressive young Cassinova, who will also hopefully dethrone that wild beast, the impressive Rick Raskall, who finally wised up and threw his unworthy partner aside, the rich in both money and talent, the one known as Ratings of course, and... well though I don't agree with his twisted little ideals right now, your former Generation Pathetech flunky... Spyke Johanson.
The principal smiles as the booing intensifies, Pain ignoring completely.
Pain: Meanwhile... you have in your ranks, that French young man, Mysth. What kind of name is that anyway? It sounds like Mist with a lisp or some nonsense. You also have Marcus Trunk, the unworthy pile of scum that has no reason even being in a wrestling ring. Then you have... some rookie. A man who will sadly see just how inferior he is in this match. Yourself of course... and then, my what an interesting choice. Eddie Omega... EDDIE OMEGA! THE BACKSTABBER WHO PUT ME ON THE SHELF! THE TURNCOAT THAT NEARLY ENDED MY IN RING CAREER! You think it's funny... how you betrayed me at Crapmania III? Well I assure you it is NOT! Omega... I never have gotten the opportunity to get my vengeance... but I have a feeling at Dead Man Walking, that Tyreese here will be more than happy to take you down and out.... just like you did to me! Just like I would do to you if I could! I am going to revel in watching you fall...
Tyreese quickly covers Pain's mouth, fetching the microphone.
Tyreese: Look... da simple matter of truth is this. Me and my companions are gonna walk in, crush Team Spaz, and walk out. And deres not a damn thing any of ya can do about it!
The crowd boos as Pain composes himself again, thanking Tyreese, as the two quickly exit to the back, as we fade to commercial.
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Post by Trik Turner on Mar 22, 2007 15:29:00 GMT -5
(Trik Turner is driving in his car when suddenly he hits the brakes to prevent from hitting somebody. Trik gets out of his car & yells...)
TRIK: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? I COULD HAVE KILLED YOU, YOU MORON!!!
Sum Guy: Hi, I'm Sum Guy & I go to great lengths to get my interviews. Trik, I have a question for you. Do you like my ears up or down?
Trik: What the? Give me a break. You risked life & limb to ask me that assinine question?
Sum Guy: Well, it always got laughs for Bugs Bunny. What we really want to know is...where have I been?
Trik: Where have I been? Where have I been? That does seem to be the question on everybody's mind lately. Where has Trik Turner been? Well Trik, see, that's easy. I been earning my paycheck, that's where I been. You think my EWT career is for money? No, it's for respect. I am on this road every day, wrestling on the indy scene. You think I am making money in EWT? No. I asked Mr. Dangerously if I could do what I did in EWT after his invite to the Royal Pain In the Ass Rumble.
Sum: By why stick around then?
Trik: That is a good question, my brave friend.
Sum: Wow! I'm brave & your friend? I MUST be hardcore!! I'M HARDCORE!! I'M HARDCORE!! I'M HARDCORE!!
Trik: Shut up. Anyways, I stayed in EWT to settle a score with Spaz originally. But Spaz, well...it's obvious he fears me. And can you blame him? He's afraid of me for what I stand for. He's afraid of me for what I symbolize. He's afraid of going back to what he used to be. So now, now I am here with a score to settle on Chris Evans. You see Evans, I invited you as my guest. And I beat you, as my guest. Then you used a chair on me. Do you call that being a fair guest? It sure as hell isn't. And that's why, this Sunday, I will step BACK in the EWT ring to show everybody the 2 things they want to see:
1) Me beat your ass HARDCORE!!!
and
2) Why Spaz is afraid of the man they call...Trik Turner.
Now excuse me Sum, but a friend of mine wants to meet you. Come on out of the car buddy.
( Johnny Stamboli gets out of the car in the attire of his new gimmic, REDRUM, with the blood oozing from his mouth as Sum Guy wets his pants & runs off.)
Trik: Brave & hardcore, my ass. Let's go Johnny.
(Cut to commercial)
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Mar 22, 2007 17:48:05 GMT -5
Fade in on the EWT Arena where Barry McLoser is standing in the ring, ready for a match.
The lights die down one by one before fireworks explode, causing little stars to form....
"A-MER-I-CA!!"
Out steps a man, hidden in the shadows but the outline is visible.
"A-MER-I-CA!!"
The lights turn red, white, and blue as the figure reveals himself. His hair is similar to that of Alex Shelley's, but red where the blonde part should be. He can be seen sporting sideburns a la Matt Hardy with red and blue streaks thrown in. The figure struts down to the ring before sliding into the ring and removes his apparel, but leaves the glasses on. If you don't know by know, this is Christian Starr.
Starr doesn't waste any time and knocks down poor McLoser with a quick lariat sending him down. Starr hits a quick Red Star Press, but manages to change it to a Crossfire at the last second. Starr picks up McLoser and hists him up before hitting the Death Driver. McLoser is dead to the world by now as Starr signals for the end. Starr picks McLoser up and gives a "thumbs-down" before hitting the Starr-Dust. Starr doesn't even hesitate before locking in the Suicidal Stretch, forcing the ref to call for the bell.
Chimel: Here is your winner, Chri-
Starr: I'll take that. Now, EWT, what you just saw was the beginning. The beginning of a new era in EWT. But to help me do that, I need more than one man. Which is why I would like to introduce you to this man....
"OH-WAH-AH-AH-AH!!"
"Down with the Sickness" by Disturbed plays as a man standing 6"5 comes out, looking smug as he can be. The man walks past McLoser and delivers a jumping kick to the back of his head, causing McLoser to fall down. The man just gets up, admiring his work, and slides into the ring. Starr and the man shake hands before Starr continues.
Starr: This man right here is the epitome of perfection. Chisled, ripped, and look at the DELTIODS!! AND THE TRAPEZIA!! They don't get much better than that boys. May I introduce to you, "The Warrior" Matthew F'N Riot!!
Matthew flexes as the women cheer and the men boo.
Starr: Boo all you want men, but when it comes to us, your women can't help but stare. EWT, get ready, for the Thug Revolution is here.
"A-Mer-I-Ca" plays as Matthew and Starr leave, passing by McLoser who just stares at the lights.
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Post by teamireland on Mar 22, 2007 18:13:57 GMT -5
*"Girls in Cars" starts playing & the EWT fans start booing immediately, not so much for the team of Strike Force, but moreso fro the pure crappiness of the theme music.* David Penzer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall & is for the EWT World Tag-Team Championship. Introducing first, at a combined weight of 470lbs, Tito Santana & Rick Martel... STRIKE FORCE! And their opponents...
*Dropkick Murphys' "Shipping Up to Boston" begins as Team Ireland & Coach O'Hare make their entrance.* Penzer: At a combined weight if 396lbs, being accompanied by Coach O'Hare, proudly representing their home country of Ireland, Aidan Donnelly... Sean McCann... TEAM IRELAND! *The familiar green, white & gold pyro of Team Ireland explodes at the top of the entrance ramp & the trio march on down to the ring.* DING-DING!
*Without even taking off their tag-team titles, Aidan & Sean begin hammering on their opponents as O'Hare snaps the mic from Penzer.* O'Hare: Before I start, I don't want those two idiots dwn there yammering on about anything during this match *he points to Tony Schiavone & Scott Hudson*, so kill their microphones NOW! If you would just cut back to the truck & show exactly why their mics were cut off...
*A quick shot inside the production truck shows Shane Malone standing & glowering over the crew in the truck.*
O'Hare:... and now ya know! This match is over before it's even began! Lads, get to it!
*Aidan picks up Santana & drops him with a DDT. Sean takes down Martel with a hurricanrana.*
O'Hare: Ape, Dorf: I hope youse are paying close attention.
*Aidan slides a few chairs into the ring. Sean picks one up & gives Tito a dig in the ribs. Aidan also slides a table in & Sean gives Santana a Mushroom Stomp.*
O'Hare: These lads have more talent in their pinkie fingers than either of you do in your entire bodies! So you're both former EWT World Champions? Yeah, from when this promotion was nothing but a joke!
*Aidan performs the "Triqueta" on Martel as Sean gets to the top rope. O'Hare & Aidan set Santana up on the table & Sean hits the 810 Degree Splash on the former El Matador.*
O'Hare: ARRIBA! Hahahahahahaa! See, now when was the last time either of you hit a move even close to that?
*O'Hare picks up Martel & holds him in position. Aidan & Sean run at Martel from either side, carrying chairs. They simultaneously throw their chairs at Martel's head & dropkick those chairs onto both sides of his head. Martel collapses in a heap. Sean performs a standing Moonsault onto Santana. But the ref refuses to count this carnage as a match. O'Hare knocks him out with a solid punch & makes the count himself.*
O'Hare: 1... 2... THREE! YOUR WINNERS & STILL TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS... FOR A LOOOOOOOONG TIME TO COME, TEAM IRELAND! *The crowd boos this hastily thrown together shambles of a match. The bell doesn't ring, but "Shipping Up to Boston" plays anyway. O'Hare & the lads walk back up the ramp looking pretty F'N smug. O'Hare lets out a yell of "YOU WILL NEVER BEAT THE IRISH!" barely audible above the music as the crowd boos & throws more crap at them!*
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Bedlam LadyD
Samurai Cop
Is a WSX Cupcake. BOOOOOOOM!!
Posts: 2,452
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Post by Bedlam LadyD on Mar 22, 2007 18:25:35 GMT -5
Synthy sits there, deep in her thoughts and shame burning her high cheeks. She's in the back, nursing her pride, hidden in a cavernous backstage area that's dark and damp. Her mind is focused on the other day's conversation with the blood doctor. She had just come back in from a small walk in the rain, soaked and wanting nothing more then a steamy shower. Killswitch Engage's 'My Curse' comes on from a pocket on her jeans. It's her cellphone. The caller ID reads 'Dr.Cunningham'. "Hello? Miss Eris? Listen, we have some news you may find important..." "Don't tell me I have Ebola now. Haven't you caused me enough problems?" "But, Miss, the tests we thought were yours...they weren't. We had a mix-up at the lab." "Excusi?" Her brain was scrambled; that's how 'Excuse me?' came out. "Ma'am, your tests were clean, they were devoid of any disease. I hope this hasn't caused you any issues." "Ya know what? Thanks for letting me know, but go f*** yourself and the lab." Her irritation at the complications had now multiplied. She was made to be a fool in front of the entire EWT audience and the locker room. She had promised herself she'd never be painted as a loser dork ever again. But because of the damned mix-up... She now had to bite her words. Synthy was angry, and ready to take it out on the opponent Mr.Boss had set up for her. It was her debut already, and she wasn't going to flub it. She stops out from the back, any introductions planned for her were interrupted as she erupted to the ring. Victoria already stood there, black and crimson hair flaring as she straightened towards her opponent. Synthy throws her sunglasses to the side. The two have a staredown, Victoria ducks as Synthy throws a blatatnt punch. Synthy, in return, gets arm-dragged to her back. She narrowly dodges a running kick. She breathes a sigh of relief, and catches Victoria's leg as it comes in for another kick. She twists and Vicky is now the one on her back. Synthy interrupts any of Victoria's escape attempts with a straight leg bar. Growing cocky, she releases the hold. Bad move on her part. Victoria trips her when she turns her back, and hits a standing moonsault. Air rushes out of Synthy, but she gets her shoulder up at the two count. She's dragged up by her hair and hit with a tilt-a-whirl sideslam. When Victoria goes for another moonsault, Synthy gets her knees up, and kills any of Victoria's momentum. Returning all of Victoria's previous love taps, she locks in a painful Juji-gatame armbar. After completely knocking out Victoria's wind, she stands up, pulling Victoria with her. She sends her flying into a ring post. Miss Eris then hits a nice frankensteiner for the two count. Cursing, her face then turns into an angry glare. She picks Victoria up, and gets her powerbomb attempt reversed. Laying on her back, flat on the mat, her pissiness grows. Victoria plays up to the crowd, flipping off the fan that tells her she looks like a man. She's standing strong and confident. Synthy seizes her chance and hits the Synful Intentions. 1 2 3. Victoria now sees stars as Synthy struts out of the ring, to the nearest mic. "I told you all last week something I'm now taking back. I'm not ill, and that right there is what happens when someone screws with my mind with telling me my body is diseased. I don't care if it was Victoria, though she put up a hell cat fight, or if it was one of you. If I'm mocked, or f***ed with, someone's going down. So says the Queen of Chaos, and Protector of Pride. I won't stand for my health, physical or mental, being messed with. For a little more information for some ya'll brain-dead dolts, I'm here to cause destruction. Push me, and I send it back threefold." Her music blares on, sending chills down the spines of some of the less-hardened people. Synthy doesn't realize her last few statements betrayed her Indiana roots. She walks out, but not before stopping to pick up her sunglasses.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 22, 2007 18:51:15 GMT -5
*The camera fades into the EWT arena, facing the stage. "Ain't Coming Home" by Silvertide plays on the loudspeakers, and the fans boo a bit. The infamous Jaguar rolls onto the stage. They know who it is.*
Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for ONE fall! Introducing first, being accompanied by TJT, from San Diego, Calfornia, weighing in at 219 pounds.........JACK JUPITER!
*Thunder, Jason, and Terina are all in their managerial gear--custom-tailored street clothes. Jack however is in his wrestling garb and sunglasses and hops out before them. TJt walk to the ring as they normally do, but Jack is several feet ahead of them, crazily walking about.*
Finkel: And his opponent, already in the ring.........VIRGIL!
*Mike Jones simply walks around in the ring, throws his arms up, and mutters something that sounds vaguely like "Wrestling Superstar!" The crowd barely pops for him, and Jack slides into the ring in a flashy style that would make the likes of Edge proud. Thunder, Jupiter and Terina walk to ringside, and simply stand around a ring post close to their honorary teammate. Jack takes off his sunglasses and drops them out to his team, and Jason catches them. He walks over to a retaining barrier and dangles the glasses over it, right next to a little kid who attempts to grab them before he pulls the glasses back and drops them, stomping them into oblivion, spitting on them, and then handing them to the now weeping child. Jack is oblivious to this and walks up to Virgil. The ref motions to ring the bell, and the match is ready to begin.*
DING DING DING!
*The two lock up, but Jack immediately kicks Virg in the gut before swinging around and putting him in a hammerlock. Virgil reverses into a hammerlock, and twists it upwards, before he realizes he gets hit in the side of the head with 3 elbows.Jack turns around and grabs Virgil around the upper abdomen in a bear hug. He holds it in as the referee checks to see if Virgil is ready to submit. No such luck. Jack shifts his eyes around and lifts him up in the air, sticks out his knee, and gives the "Wrestling superstar" an inverted atomic drop. This sends Virgil into the ropes, and as it seems as if he's ripe for the picking, Jack jumps up for a leapfrog. Virgil hooks his arms into the ropes however, and smiles as though he's already won the match. Jack runs over to him and punches him a few times, then strangles him with his bare hands. The ref counts.*
1!
2!
3!
4!
*Jack releases the stranglehold and the ref admonishes the manuever. However, young Jupiter argues with him, keeping the referee facing away from Virgil. Terina gets to the apron from behind, jumps up on the arpon, and rakes away at Virgil's eyes from behind, making him yell in pain. The ref goes to turn around and she drops down, a nearby Thunder and Jupiter catching her. The ref, suspicious, argues with them, and Jack pulls Virgil out of the ropes, grabs him, picks him up, but Virgil shifts his weight and falls on him. He has him for what is at least a 2 count, but the lonely official is too "distracted" to notice. He turns around and goes to begin the count, but Jack immediately kicks out. Jack rises to his feet, trades shots with Virgil, and whips him into the ropes. He puts his head down, and Virgil kicks him the head. Mike Jones runs into the ropes, bounces back, and hits a running crossbody on Jack. He covers!*
1!
2!
KICKOUT.
*Virgil gets up and puts Jack in a chinlock. He applies it for a bit, but Jack rises to his feet and elbows him in the head a few times. jack turns around, but Virgil dropkicks him in the chest and covers up again.*
1!
KICKOUT.
*Virg picks him up by the head, but Jack kicks at him. Virigl grabs the leg, but Jupiter spins around and nails him in the cranium with a dragon whip. Jack runs into the ropes, bounces off, and goes to drop a fist, but Virgil pulls off something surpassing his usual resilience and rolls out of the way. Jack crashes his fist on the mat, and scrambles back up, but Virgil runs into the ropes and back, looking for another crossbody. He leaps, and is unceremoniously caught by Jack, who leaps up, drops him back in a fallaway slam, and holds it like a bridge. The ref drops to the mat.*
1!
2!
3!
*"Ain't Coming Home" picks up again, recieved by a number of boos.*
Fink: Here's your winner, JACK JUPITER!
*Jack rolls out of the ring, getting each one of his arms raised by his cousin as well as Jimmy Thunder. He grins in excitement, and Terina goes over to congratulate him. His face turns red in an instant and he begins to sweat, but he is still happy as he has won his first match in EWT. The foru walk up the ramp, and the camera fades out.*
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Bedlam LadyD
Samurai Cop
Is a WSX Cupcake. BOOOOOOOM!!
Posts: 2,452
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Post by Bedlam LadyD on Mar 22, 2007 20:44:33 GMT -5
After her match, Synthy heads to the showers. She changes into a black and red checkered bathing suit, and black flip-flops. After she's finished wiping away the grime and sweat she can't help but overhear a conversation going on between a few women that just walked into the locker section of the back. "Did you see that new chick? She's so creepy-looking..." "I know! Those damn eyes of hers. What a freak..." "Her skin looks like she just gave half of her blood." The useless gossip about her continues on. It doesn't matter that both the women talking are former Playboy centerfolds, one held in high esteem of the 'E. She steps out of the shower. Soaked, her flip flops squeak, her brilliant fuchsia hair is plastered to her skull, eyeshadow and eyeliner spiraling down her face, she greets the two women. "Excuse me? What gives you tow dumb bimbos the right to talk trash about me?" "Ew. You look disgusting!" They squeal, and yip. Their very voices make her ill. Her fist clenches, and she lunges. The two race away, blond hair and black hair poofing around the corner as she tears after them. Synthy is disregarding the fact she's clothed in very little, racing through essentially a male dominant ed arena. Whistles and catcalls fall on deaf ears as she chases after the two PB Bunnies. Out of nowhere, Gene Snitsky is a roadblock in her path. She slams into him, bulldozing him slightly, but still caught so unaware as to fall over backward. "SHEISTE!" She curses in loud German. Snitsky don't notice. He's looking directly at her...feet. Black henna designs and silver polish decorate them. She scrambles back, hastily searching for some sign of the two complain and/or rude females that ran. "You have very nice feet. Can I have a flip flop?" She looks at him disgustedly. "And you look like a poster child for sterilization." He shrinks low and walks away. She sits there on the floor, her face scowling and hoping that those two women show up again soon.... At least her match had gone well.
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Mar 22, 2007 23:28:56 GMT -5
*Mike Ragnal is sitting in a dark room, his arm resting on his knee, as he watches a TV set in fron of him, rubbing his chin. He shakes his head in shame, chuckling to himself, and stands up, looking into the camera.*
MIKE: In the past day alone...I have seen it all. What was thought to be a sinister plunderer of the sea...merely nothing but a cornball thinking he's a pirate. A woman of the goths...believed to be ill...but at the same time proving herself vicious in the ring. And a Starr...a Starr was born, and at the same time, a Riot had started.
All of these are interesting events...but not as interesting as the events...that lead up to Sunday.
*Mike cracks his knuckles on his right hand, and continues.*
MIKE: I asked Duke and Doe to step out and prepare for their match. Because this...this had to be spoken...without my pupils hearing it.
Because this, Merc...this is between us.
Now...the fans all would say that our history started backstage, after you "took over" as Merc McMahon, and awarded yourself the Tri-State title...a title you never deserved. But...
*Without even moving his eyes, Mike raises a finger, wiggling it back and forth as if to say "no".*
MIKE: It started with my sister, Mercenary. Perhaps you recall "The Ocean's Beauty" Linda Ragnal, who had just won contendership towards the Girl Next Door Championship. And if you haven't...
*The screen flickers, only to return with a clip of Merc walking towards Linda, and as Linda backs up she has a worried look on her face. All of a sudden Linda bumps into a wall. Merc then stands in front of her,and takes a hold of Linda's hair,and smells it as he runs it through his hands before letting it go.*
Merc: Ahhhh sweet blond hair,and such a nice smell. Just like Trish. You do know what happened to Trish don't you?
*The screen flickers again, returning to Mike and the dark room, Mike with a less than pleased look on his face.*
MIKE: You STALKED my SISTER, Mercenery! You compared her to a woman you obsessed over, yet treated like GARBAGE. And I...I was stupid. I saw it only as an act, not realizing that you took your work seriously...TOO seriously...such as when you had to choose between Ubermark or Maelstrom for Tri-State champion after Crapamania 2...
*The screen flickers once more, and cuts to a clip of Merc in a suit as Merc McMahon, in the ring with the Tri-State title.*
MM: Ok I dont have alot of time,and I'm gonna make this brief. I have decided since the Tri State title is in my pocession. I am here to anounce me the MERCENARY as the Tri State Champ!
*Merc rips off the suit to show his regular street clothes, then runs out of the arena to a limousine. The screen flickers again, returning to Mike.*
MIKE: And so you left...a champion truly undecided. You, Mercenery, had no right to take that title and run off with it. I had told you that almost immediately afterwards. And what was your response?
"F*** you, don't tell me how to live my life".
Maybe I shouldn't have, Merc...but even I could have told you that THIS was a stupid idea!
*The screen flickers again, to Merc standing inside a KPW ring, showing off the EWT Tri-State title, talking about how KPW is crap in comparison, and that his title was the "real" championship. Flicker back again to Ragnal.*
MIKE: Taking one of our belts and trying to get yourself over with it. Only one man could pull that off, and you are NOT that man! Do you remember what happened after Toomi discovered this?
SUSPENSION.
These, Merc...these were the things that set me off. That made my hatred for you burn...because you never learned.
And even now, as the company's champion, their "shining example"...you're still that same immature being I saw stalk my sister.
Still the same old Mercenery.
And after Dead Man Walking...which so many have called your "funeral"...you will know that I am the one to take you down. I'm the only one...because I know how to make you weak.
Mercenery...the World title...will belong to the Cidal Squad.
Property...of only the Elementalcidal.
What belongs to the company...will be mine.
The World title will belong to Mike Ragnal. If not...we can only do one thing.
Hijack. Maim. RULE.
*As Mike turns towards the door of the room, the camera flickers one last time, and we fade to the next segment.*
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Post by Oceanic on Mar 23, 2007 2:08:45 GMT -5
The Fink: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the Tri State Title! Introducing first, being led to the ring by his manager Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, from Robbinsdale Minnesota, weighing in at 252lbs, Ravishing Rick Rude!"
The trademark slinky sax music comes on and out from the back comes Heenan leading his number one guy Ravishing Rick Rude, in full on smug, arrogant, Tom Selleck mustache, and a halo over his head, down the aisle. They both enter the ring and Rick grabs the stick.
"What I'd like to have right now is for all you fat, out of shape, Massachusetts meat heads to keep the noise down while I take my robe off and show all the ladies what a real man is supposed to look like. Hit the music!"
His music starts back up and Rude slowly undoes the straps to his robe. He then lets his robe fall to the mat to show off his chiseled physique, gives a few hip wiggles, and blows the crowd a kiss. "From Sinking" on and the crowd just continues it's booing. Nobody likes these two.
The Fink: "And his opponent, from Kauai Hawaii, she is the current Tri State Champion, Oceanic!"
Oceanic comes out wearing a robe similar to Rude's and walks down to the ring while getting an earful from the nearby fans. She enters the ring and takes the mic from the Fink.
"And what I'd like to have right now is for all you lame, never been laid, pimply faced losers to jam a Twinkie in your fat gobs while I take my robe off and show you what a real woman looks like."
Oceanic undoes the straps of her robe and looks over at Rude and Heenan who, along with a majority of the males in the crowd, are paying rather close attention. She makes like she's going to remove the robe but suddenly ties it back up and shakes her head no, as if nobody deserves to check her out. Heenan has a look of disappointment and he walks over to Oceanic, telling her to show what she's got. She shakes her head no as Heenan pleads with her. Finally she agrees, mostly because she's sick of hearing about it, and unties the straps again. She acts like she's about to remove the robe when suddenly she sprays Heenan in the face with blue mist. Heenan stumbles around the ring blind and comically falls through the ropes. A shocked Rude watches his manager take a spill and Oceanic uses the distraction to lay into Rude with a series of elbows to the mug. The bell rings as Oceanic kicks Rude in the stomach and knees him in the face.
Rude hits the deck and Oceanic takes the robe off, wraps it around Rude's head and punches away. She then takes the Tri State title off from around her waist and holds it up over her head. She puts the title down in her corner and goes back to Rude, who takes the robe off of his head just in time to see Oceanic blast him with a Spinning Heel Kick. Oceanic sends Rude in the corner and blasts him with a Knee Bazooka followed by a series of chops followed by a Bulldog and covers.
1............ 2............
Kick out. Oceanic picks Rude up by his fro and sits him up just to kick him right in the spine. Rude arches his back in pain as Oceanic hits the ropes and hits him in the face with a European Uppercut. Rude hits the mat and Oceanic hits him with the Lionsault/Double Legdrop Combo. Oceanic stands up and signals that it's all over and waits for Rude to stand up. Rude does get up and she attempts to Super Kick him but he grabs her foot, spins her around, and lays a big punch to her head. Rude gets in a couple more jabs and sends her into the ropes, hitting a clothesline. Oceanic staggers back up and she's hit with a dropkick. Rude hits a back suplex followed by a knee drop and goes for the win.
1............... 2...............
Oceanic kicks out. Rude goes up to the top turnbuckle and hits Oceanic with a flying axe handle, going for the win again.
1.................... 2......................
Kick out again. Rude picks Oceanic up and sends her into the ropes. He goes for a back body drop but Oceanic flips onto her feet and dropkicks Rude in the back of the knees, sending him down. Oceanic follows up with a jumping leg drop across the neck and locks in a head scissors, using her arms to push up on the mat and apply pressure to the head. Rude struggles to get his head out but Oceanic switches up and applies a Stranglehold Gamma. She keeps the hold applied but Rude won't give up so she lets to and knees Rude in the ribcage. Oceanic picks Rude up and sends him into the ropes. She leapfrogs over but Rude puts on the brakes and hits her with a Rude Awakening on the way down. Oceanic is laid out flat and Rude makes the cover, hooking the leg.
1................ 2................
And a half! Oceanic barely kicks out as Rude grabs his head in frustration. Rude picks her up and puts her in position for another Rude Awakening and flexes his bicep but Oceanic uses the opportunity to kick him in the jimmy. The ref doesn't see it but he is rather curious why Rude is hunched over and grabbing at his junk. Rude turns around just in time to catch Oceanic's Super Kick in the jaw and he hits the mat. Oceanic jumps on him and applies TAAS and cranks down on it. Rude is stuck dead center of the ring so he has no choice but to tap out.
The Fink: "Here is your winner, and still Tri State Champion, Oceanic!"
Oceanic lets go of the hold and crawls over to her corner, nursing an aching noggin but feeling pretty good after her win. She takes her title belt and slides out of the ring as a blue faced Bobby Heenan checks on Rude. Oceanic walks back up the ramp, still holding her aching head, and holds the title up to show the stinking fans who's number one.
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