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Post by The Bad Man on Jul 17, 2006 9:02:31 GMT -5
After the video promo we arrive backstage next to a TV Monitor, it has just finished showing Queen Rosa's recent comments. A fist suddenly smashes the monitor. As we pan back we find it belongs to D'Zee who is not happy at all!!
D'ZEE: Step up! ... Step Up? ... I'll show that drama queen how to step up! ... I'll step it up! I'll snap it off and then she can crawl home jawless as she bows to the true Queen of the Ghetto D'Zee!!
D'Zee storms off into the corridors backstage.
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Jul 17, 2006 13:12:55 GMT -5
Sum Guy: Hi! I'm Sum Guy, and I'd make a better wrestler than The Great Khali. I'm being joined now by the Tri-State Champion Bret Michaels and the lovely Sensational Cherry. Bret, we now know that Mike Ragnal is the #1 contender for your title, as he won defeated Virus last Saturday in a match which had you as the special referee. What are your thoughts on that?
HBH: So he's back. And he wants my title. Big whoop. That doesn't mean I'm going to lay down and let him take it. If he thinks for one second that I'm gonna let than happen, then he's sorely mistaken. You know why? Because I am the Tri-State Champion, the GREATEST Tri-State Champion in history. While he was at home healing, I was defending this title week in and week out. Everybody wanted a piece of the Heartbreak Hitman, but one by one they fell to my feet. And Mike Ragnal will be no different. Once I hit that Sweet Chin Muzak, he'll be down for the count.
Cherry: That's right baby. You are number one. There's nobody in EWT that can beat you.
HBH: Which is exactly why I am the greatest Tri-State Champion in history. And I believe this interview is over. Let's go, Cherry.
*HBH and Cherry walk off*
SG: I guess that's all folks. I'm Sum Guy, and no, I'm NOT related to Porky Pig, SO STOP ASKING!
*Cut to the next segment*
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Jul 17, 2006 20:23:39 GMT -5
*We fade in from commercial to Sum Guy backstage*
Guy: Hello everyone, I am here with the current Ox Division Champion, Koda Kazar!
Koda: So, I heard you wanted to talk to me?
Guy: Yes, of course. First of all, I got to ask you....
Koda: What? Ask me what? Where you going to ask me how does it feel to beat my former friend, Jester?
Guy: Y...Y...Y...Yes.......
Koda: Oh, ok. Well, then I can answer that. It feels great to squash that annoying little bug.
Guy: So, do you have anything to say to Jester?
Koda: Why yes, yes I do. Jester, I told you that you would not beat me at Saturday Night Special, and I was right. You tried your hardest, but I never give up a title unless I am pushed beyond my limits.
Guy: Ah....well then, do you have anything to say to the EWT locker room? Probably the Ox Division?
Koda: Oh, ya, I think I can tell them something. I am issuing, as of right now, an open challenge for my Ox Division title. Here is how this challenge works, the first person to directly challenge me face to face will get the title shot for the next PPV, however, that doesn't mean I am leaving the rest of the division out in the cold. Oh no no no. What will happen instead is there shall be a 6 men elimination match at the next PPV to decide the next #1 contender for this belt. To decide the 6 men that shall be entered, there will be a series of qualifiers all the way up till two weeks before the PPV.
Guy: Wow, sounds interesting, so any closing comments?
Koda: Yes, bring it on!
Just as Koda gets done saying that, Jester runs in from off camera and assaults Koda. Jester lifts Koda up and drops him with a Colt Crusher!
Jester: Koda....I challenge you!
*We fade to commercial*
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Jul 18, 2006 6:59:18 GMT -5
*Spaz is standing backstage with Sum Guy.*
SG: I'm Sum Guy & I have no dental coverage. I am here with Spaz, the man who pinned Chance Confidence to retain the EWT Heavyweight Title at Saturday Night Special.
S: That's right Guy. Chance, you wrestled one hell of a match, you nearly had me beat but I came out on top. You porved me wrong you do have what it takes to be champ, just not yet. But now on to other matters, there are many men who want a shot at me but few deserve one. Who gets the next shot? Well that isn't for me to decide. The nect man to challenge for my title will prove he is worthy in the ring. His performances will prove his ability & he will be rewarded with an opportunity to join an exclusive club. The rigth to call yourself a World Champion!
SG: Spaz is still the champ & willing to prove he is still the best. I'm Sum Guy & I have a mouth full of cavities!
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Post by Poker Joker on Jul 18, 2006 11:03:18 GMT -5
(The scene opens up in the backstage area of the E.W.T. Arena, just outside the dressing room of the Handsome Boys Modeling School. Standing there with a microphone in one hand is Terri Runnels.)
*TERRI*: This is Terri Runnels for the E.W.T. News Team, and I'm outside the dressing room of the former E.W.T. Tag-Team Champions, the Handsome Boys Modeling School. Since losing the title three days ago at Saturday Night Special, the H.B.M.S. has been noticably and unusually quiet. I was hoping we could get an interview with one of them, but it seems that their silence is continuing as even I couldn't get in to speak with them. I guess we'll just have....
(Terri cuts her self off as the door to the dressing room opens up just a little bit, and Moniqua slips out the door. She quickly closes the door behind her, and then runs her hands through her hair as though frustrated.)
*TERRI*: Wait a minute! Here's Miss Moniqua, the manager of Handsome Boys Modeling School! Maybe she can give us some answers!
(Moniqua apparently didn't notice Terri standing there, as she seems startled by her presence. Moniqua quickly puts a smile on her face, and adjusts her blouse.)
*MONIQUA* (suprised): Ah! The press! What can I do for you, Terri?
*TERRI*: Moniqua, if you could just answer a couple of questions for myself and the fans at home....
*MONIQUA*: But of course.
*TERRI*: Great! Well, for starters, nobody has heard anything from either Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark or Ultimo Chocula since the two of them lost the Tag-Team titles at Saturday Night Special. I was wondering if you could give us a reason why?
*MONIQUA*: It is quite simple, really. Both William and Signore Chocula are have been DEEPLY disappointed by the upset at the hands of that dreadful Prophecy Reborn team, and are saddened by the loss of their Tag-Team Titles. Needless to say, neither of them are really up to speaking with anyone.
*TERR*: I see, but that's the problem. This is Billy Ubermark and Ultimo Chocula. Both of those men are extremely outspoken. Doesn't this silence seem rather.... well... odd, even under these circumstances?
*MONIQUA* (Slightly offended): Did I not just tell you that both of my Handsome Boys are saddened over the loss of their titles? Yes, this may seem unusual, but these are unusual circumstances. My Handsome Boys are used to being on top of the world, and to be considered anything less is something that they are truly unaccustomed to. Their silence to the public will break.... eventually.
*TERRI*: Well, what about a rematch against Prophecy Reborn? There has been no mention of one, and if Billy and Ultimo are upset about losing their titles, wouldn't they be interested in getting them back?
(Moniqua pauses, noticably, as she seems to be searching for the right words.)
*MONIQUA*: The Handsome Boys are definitely interested in a rematch, but now is .... uh..... not the best time for them. They are too busy .... resolving the issues that they feel cost them the titles in the first place.
*TERRI*: Oh. And what issues would those be?
*MONIQUA* (sharply): Those are NOT of your concern! (Moniqua calms down) They're of a private matter.
(Terri gives Moniqua an inquizitive glare)
*TERRI*: Moniqua, is everything alright between your two wrestlers?
*MONIQUA* (with a big smile on her face): Everything is fine! It is wonderful! The two of them are a perfect tag-team, and will eventually regain their spots at the top of the E.W.T. They just have to get past their.... uh.... issues.
*TERRI*: Alright, then. When will we finally hear from the former tag-team champions?
*MONIQUA* (cheerfully): First of all, be careful who you refer to as "former" champions, because it will not be long before the two of them are current champions, again. And secondly, I am pleased to announce that both Billy and Ultimo will resume their popular television talk show segment, this week, on E.W.T. Television!
*TERRI*: You mean "Second Place is the First Loser?"
*MONIQUA*: The one and the same!
*TERRI*: Will you be changing the name of it?
*MONIQUA*: What do you mean?
*TERRI*: Well, the two of them are technically now in second place, themselves, so....
*MONIQUA*: (exasperated): Please! I don't have time for details such as that. Now, I need to get back into the dressing room and tend to Ultimo and William as we prepare to reclaim the E.W.T. Tag-Team Championship. So, if you would be so kind as to excuse me.
*TERRI*: Of course, Moniqua. Thank you for your time.
*MONIQUA* (Smiling): But of course. You are welcome.
(Moniqua turns, and her smile quickly fades away. She opens the door slightly to go in, and suddenly we hear the sound of something being violently thrown across a room and hitting a wall, like a small piece of furniture. Moniqua cringes when she hears this, then turns to face Terri.)
*MONIQUA* (forcing a smile): They're training. Ha-ha!
(Moniqua's smile disappears again as she quickly re-enters the room and closes the door. The sound of the lock clicking into place is heard immediately afterwards. Terri watches the events unfold and then turns back to face the camera.)
*TERRI*: Well, there you have it. Miss Moniqua says that everything is good with her Handsome Boys Modeling School, and that Ultimo Chocula and Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark will finally make a public appearance on their television show "Second Place is the First Loser." Something tells me that show is going to be interesting, to say the least! For the E.W.T. New Crew, I'm Terri Runnels sending it back out front!
(With that, the scene fades to black.)
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Post by vivian on Jul 18, 2006 11:11:26 GMT -5
An extremely upbeat version of If Your Happy and Know It Claps Your Hands, blasts out of the Toomitron as down to the ring walks Dr. Vivian Anemone.
Vivian: Hello boys and girls are you ready to be happy?!
Audience: NO!
Vivian: Well too bad so sad, because me and the squad are guaranteed to make you glad!
Sal and Hal run out from the backstage area, sprinting down to the ring, well as fast as two rather large men can sprint at least, stopping and hopping onto the ring apron, climbing inside, and giving each other a high ten! You know, like a high five, but with both hands. Vivian slides into the ring and grabs a microphone.
Vivian: ROLL CALL!!!
Sal: Smiley Sal!
Sal does a Funky Chicken, then goes into a failed spinning headstand... only making it to a fourth before falling over.
Hal: HAPPY HAL!!!
Hal does one of those Russian kicking dances, not sure what that's called, into a Cartwheel.
Both: AND WE ARE...
Voice: The Spittoon Saviors!!!
The crowd starts laughing as Sal and Hal look at each other... then at Vivian.
Vivian: O....kay. Let's try that again.
Both: WE ARE...
Voice: Hey Sal... after the match, do you wanna go backstage and have sex again?
Other Voice: Oh... you know it buddy! There's nothing more fun then having sex with with you Hal!
Voice: Hey, in fact, screw the match, let's go have sex now!
Vivian starts to get a peeved, still smiling.
Vivian: THOSE AREN'T THE SQUAD'S VOICES!!! STOP THAT WHOEVER YOU ARE!!! IF YOU DON'T I'LL...
Suddenly Dr. Vivian starts speaking in a extremely high pitched tone. Combined with her already kinda high voice, you can barely understand what she's saying.
Vivian: WHAT'S THE MATTER WHOEVER YOU ARE? TOO SCARED TO COME OUT AND FACE THE SUNSHINE SQUAD HEAD TO.... What's wrong with my voice? How is this even possible?!
Sal and Hal look at each other, starting to get annoyed... as they walk up the ramp and head backstage.
Meanwhile, on the Toomitron next to Vivian, somebody has drawn a picture of a cat... writing next to it " I love female anatomys " With a little arrow pointing to the Doctor of course. Vivian looks up at the screen... seeing it.
Vivian: GEEZ... whoever you are, you have the sense of humor of a five year old!
Suddenly, the Camera cuts to the backstage, to the EWT Production Truck. Sal and Hal open it up and walk inside, but there's nobody there.
Meanwhile back at the ring... the Degeneration X theme starts up as out come Triple H and Shawn Michaels, both wearing those awful New DX Shirts of theirs. Sal and Hal meanwhile head back to the ring, unaware who is waiting for them there. Trips and Michaels climb into the ring and high five themselves, then snatch Vivian's microphone.
Trips: OK there toots... hit the bricks. We'll show you how an introduction is supposed to be done.
Vivian looks wide eyed, exiting the ring. Sal and Hal walk over to her, having returned to ringside as she whispers something... the two immediately sliding into the ring.
Shawn: So ladies and gentlemen... boys and girls.... the following ass whooping is brought to you by the boys of Degeneration X... and if you're not down with that, we've got two words for ya...
Both: SUCK IT!!!
The two grin and turn around, only to be obliterated by a pair of stereo lariats! Sal and Hal then proceed to stomp viciously at the fallen bodies as Trips and Michaels, who are pretty much helpless to resist. The squad reach down, grabbing Triple H and tossing him right out of the ring, sending him down hard to the outside! Michaels meanwhile gets to his feet, just in time to get lifted up by Hal for a Manhattan Drop, as Sal backs up... nailing a Yakuza kick as he's held in mid air. Hal, completing the move, slams Michaels down. HBK acks, clutching his junk and bouncing up and down in pain. The two look at each other, grabbing Michaels again and planting him into the mat with a Double DDT! Sal and Hal then run off the ropes on opposite sides, charging as Shawn rolls onto his back blindly, just in time to meet a stereo double big splash, SMOOSHING Micheals under the weight! He gasps in agony, clutching the chest area. Sal and Hal get up, hoisting Shawn up to his feet, whipping him hard into the turnbuckle Sal then charges forward, SWALLOWING Michaels in a corner splash, then dragging him out into the center of the ring. Meanwhile Hal climbs atop the turnbuckle, leaping off and nailing a huge splash of his own, crushing Shawn once again!
Triple H manages to get back onto the apron, only to get a big boot from Sal for his troubles, sending him flying and slamming back first into the barricade. He gasps in pain, clutching the area and slumping down against it. Meanwhile, Shawn is lifted up to his feet quickly, again whipped off the ropes, coming back for a Two Man Flapjack, planting him once again into the canvas! Shawn groans, pretty much decimated and helpless by now. But it's not over yet. Hal hoists up Sal for a Military press, walking over and pressing him high, sending him up into the air... and down back onto HBK! He grimaces in agony, Sal rolling to his feet as Hal signals to him for the end. They both reach down one more time, locking in the Group Hug! Michaels groans, feeling his body being further damaged, and after mere seconds he quickly succumbs just like all others who have faced this move. They drop him down onto the mat as the bell rings.
Announcer: Here are your winners... The Sunshine Squad!
The Squad aren't finished yet though, rolling to the outside, lifting up Triple H. They take him by both arms, whipping him HARD into the steel steps, the game crashing into them hard... sending him sprawled out on the ground. Sal walks over, lifting his prone body up high, charging and ramming his back into the steel post! He backs up... ramming it again and again and once more. Triple H gasps in pain, now he too is helpless. Sal walks over to Hal, still holding Trips, handing him to his partner on the ring Apron. Hal lifts Trips in a Crucifix position, lifting him high, then slamming him down with a Crucifix Powerbomb! Trips bounces a half foot as he meets the ground. Sal nods to Hal... who both nod back to Vivian. The two then walk over and hoist him up, locking in a second Group Hug for good measure... wrenching the life out of poor Triple H, who too has already been abused in this match quite a bit. Eventually he once again succumbs like his partner, then getting tossed aside like a piece of garbage. Vivian rolls into the ring, grabbing the microphone again and smiles.
Vivian: Now then... let that be a lesson to anybody who thinks it would be fun to mess around with MY Sunshine Squad!
The Squad theme starts up again as Sal and Hal quickly exit the ring area, an arm draped around each other's shoulders...
Fade to commercial.
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