Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Nov 24, 2006 13:42:39 GMT -5
Back at the comfy seat with Curly Long and Mina, Curly is looking slightly miffed that Raskall and Trunk have upstaged him. Although he isn't complaining about the new eye candy Big walks over and Curly grabs him and whispers in his ear before going back to the partyMR.BIG: hmmm .... upstaged eh ... Big gets on the phone, and starts talking. Meanwhile the live turkey has run under the table trying to escape CrauswellTURKEY: Gobble! Gobble .. Gobbarrrkkk! Crauswell grabbed the Turkey but it escaped leaving him with only a few feathers. Mr. Big finishes his phone call and wanders toward the table are to grab some food, he signals to curly who nods. Curly gets up on a nearby table and tries to get some attentionCURLY: everybody I would just like to say that on this day I am thankful for lots of things ... Beautiful Girls Cheers from everyoneCURLY: the drink and food More cheersCURLY: Toomi himself and this wonderful occasion some more cheers and glasses tinklingCURLY: and the Elephant! Cheers turn into confusion, and whispered muttering. Suddenly a ring master bursts through the door riding a huge great elephant! Everyone scatters as Curly jumps for joy and turns to the cameraCURLY: Remember kids an elephant isn't just for Christmas .... it's for Thanksgiving too!! (fade out as the elephant starts eating all the peanuts)
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Post by Rick Raskall on Nov 24, 2006 14:54:09 GMT -5
Raskall and Trunk scramble as the elephant nearly tramples him.
Raskall: Jesus Christ!
Raskall pulls out a cellphone and hits the speed dial.
Raskall: Hey Frank?...Yeah, it's me, Rick. Listen, that thing with the girls didn't work. Curly Long one-upped me. ...An elephant. ...Yes, a freakin' elephant! ...Listen, you owe me a favor. If you can get me something that can outdo an elephant...Wait a minute. You what? ...You're kidding! ...Wow, if you can do that, you're getting double next week! ...Yeah, I know I don't pay you. Just...if you can get it done, it would be awesome. ...Wait a minute! I've got a great idea. Are there any really quick changes you can make to it? Because I was wondering if you could...
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Post by Rick Raskall on Nov 24, 2006 17:18:26 GMT -5
Later on, the commotion the elephant caused has died down. The elephant has curled up and fallen asleep in the corner, with Crauswell snuggling up next to it. While people are still talking and generally chatting away, Rick Raskall's cellphone rings again.
Raskall: Frank! Hey, did you get it? ...Yes! Sweet! I'll get everyone out there in a minute.
Raskall hangs up the phone.
Raskall: Ahem. If I can have everyone's attention...
The people continue to chat away.
Raskall: If I can...
Still no response.
Trunk: SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!
Everybody quickly goes silent.
Raskall: Thank you, Marcus. Now, seeing as Curly Long has decided to turn this festive holiday atmosphere into a scene of debauchery, one-upsmanship, and utter horror, I've decided to up the ante once again. If everybody would like to follow me, I have a surprise that you might all find amusing.
Seemingly bored with the current proceedings, all the EWT roster in attendance follow Raskall and Trunk outside the EWT Arena. They walk out to the street, where Raskall stops them and waits.
Chris Indigo: So? What are we waiting for?
Singapore Caine: Yeah! What's going on?
Raskall: Guys, just sit...and wait.
Just then, the sound of a big band is heard in the distance. The EWT stars perk up in notice. Suddenly, a large float appears over the horizon, preceded by a huge marching band. More large floats follow.
Raskall: Ladies and Gentlemen of EWT, welcome to Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade!
Indeed, Raskall has managed to divert the Macy's Parade right to the EWT Arena! The EWT stars ooh and aah at the numerous floats.
Curly Long: Hey, what's going on? I can't see a thing! Big, get me up!
Mr. Big hoists Curly onto his shoulders.
Curly Long: Wait, he brought the whole damn parade with him?
Just then, a sound of uproarious laughter waves throughout the crowd of EWT stars.
Curly Long: What is it? What are they laughing about?
Mr. Big: I don't know, I'll try to...Uh oh.
Curly Long: What is it? ...Oh, son of a b****.
A large turkey float drives by the EWT stars. On the float are spray-painted the words "Curly Long Sucks!" in huge red letters.
Curly Long: What?!? What?!? Dammit, this is unfair!
As the float passes by, even more laughter echoes throughout the crowd as they see an official Curly Long(r) EWT Wrasslin' Buddytm shoved up the turkey's butt. Everybody is doubled over in laughter. Even Toom E. Dangerously, normally the stern, emotionless type, is rolling on the ground.
Curly Long: WHAT?!? Big, put me down! I'm outta here!
The crowd continues to laugh hysterically as Curly storms back towards the EWT Arena, with Big following close behind.
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Post by Banned Member on Nov 25, 2006 10:14:49 GMT -5
*Merc walks in stumbling, and reeking of cheap booze.*
Merc: Hey wheres the beer!!!
Toom: There will be no more beer for you Merc. Now sit down, and behave or else!
Merc: Or else what!!!
Toom: I'll fire your ass.
*Merc mumbles something, and sits down. Merc grabs a turkey leg only to be tapped on the shoulder. Merc turns around, and glares as he see Chance.*
Chance: Ahhhh Merc my drunken slave. I really do hope you weren't going to eat that. As I really do enjoy the leg piece.
*All of a sudden Curly Long appears.*
CL: I'll say he does this big guy just had three of them!
Chance: Sush you pesky midget! Now Merc I will greatly enjoy it if I could have that turkey leg. So I am ordering you to give it to me.
*Merc in anger gives Chance the Turkey Leg, and than gets up from the table, and stumbles out the door.*
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Post by respectmeordye3 on Nov 25, 2006 18:59:12 GMT -5
After a brief bathroom break, Singapore Caine is just about to head back into the room where the Thanksgiving feast is still going when he suddenly feels a tapping on his shoulder.
He turns around and sees a smiling Mickie James holding a large platter of porkchops in one hand and a triple layer Fudge Cake in the other hand. “Hey Singapore, I made these for the feast but I’d like somebody’s opinion on them first—would you mind trying them out and then telling me what you think?” Singapore Caine shrugs “I don’t see why not…”
Caine tries the porkchop first and then follows it up with the cake.
“Well,” asks a happily beaming Mickie “What did you think?”
“Honestly?” says Caine, “The porkchop could have doubled as a bulletproof vest, and the cake tasted like vacuum cleaner fuzz while the frosting reminded me of Anti-Freeze”
Mickie shrieks angrily and throws the food against the opposite wall. “Fine!” she snaps “So my food sucks!” “Hey, you’re the one who asked me to give my honest opinion” Caine says as he turns to go back to the feast. But Mickie grabs his shoulder and spins him back to facing her
“Okay, okay, look---you’re completely right. I asked for your opinion and that is just what I got, and Ican live with the idea that I am a lousy cook, but at least I know that I am great on the Clarinet-just listen!”
and with that she reaches into the long duster she is wearing and pulls out a gold clarinet and begins to play a classical number .
Mickie James finishes her tune and looks up at Singapore Caine excitedly, “That was Beethoven’s 5th and I plan to entertain everyone during dinner with it—what did you think?” she asks.”It sounded”Singapore says “Like somebody strangling a duck.”
Mickie screams furiously and slams the clarinet down onto the floor so hard that it breaks into several pieces. “YOU BIG BUTTHEADED JERK!” she screams “I WAS TRYING TO WOO YOU!”
“No offense Mickie but you couldn’t “woo” Ric Flair” says Caine.
“WHAT THE ***** DOES THAT ****ING MEAN?!?!?” howls Mickie in a rage.
“Look Mickie” says Caine with a sigh “You are just not my type okay?” He turns to go back to the feast but Mickie grabs him for a third time “”Izzat so?” she fumes “Then just what is your type?”
Singapore Caine sighs again “Okay fine, since you want to do this, I’ll go ahead and go along. My type of woman is one who’s hairstyle doesn’t look like a small animal crawled up on their head and died there,a woman who’s fingernails don’t remind me of velociraptor claws, who’s I.Q. is higher than that of a twinkie and who is mentally stable-are you satisfied?”
“What do you mean, mentally stable?” Mickie growls “I AM mentally stable!” “Your about as mentally stable as Chris Indigo is Jamacian” Singapore Caine returns. He turns to go but is yet again restrained by Mickie .
“Look Mickie I am not in the mood, Go away and let me eat!” says a annoyed Singapore Caine.
“You ain’t going anywhere bub!” Mickie shouts as she tries to punch him.
Singapore Caine easily ducks the punch and hoists the raging Mickie up onto his shoulder.He then heads through the side doors down the hall that lead outside.
A few moments later he returns and goes back into the room where the feast is still going strong. As he walks around the room he bumps into Torrie Wilson who is headed out “Hey, you haven’t seen Mickie James by any chance have you?” she asks.
“Uh….yeah, as a matter of fact I did, she’s outside hanging around the flagpole out front.” Singapore says with a small smile.
He walks away leaving a confused Torrie scratching her head. “I wonder what he meant by that?” she asks as she heads out front to the flagpole.
Mickie James is no where in sight.
Suddenly she hears a scream from above and she looks up and then winces in pain.
Mickie James is hanging by the back of her barbedwire thong at the top of the flagpole in the world’s most painful wedgie ever
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Post by teamireland on Nov 25, 2006 20:39:22 GMT -5
*Team Ireland raucously enter being very loud & knocking over furniture, not realising they are 2 days late.* O'Hare: Hey... Where'ssa party?!
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Post by dorf on Nov 30, 2006 11:09:57 GMT -5
*DwO strolls right in...and sees the dirty, moldy dishes of eaten food a week ago* Dorf: WHAT THE F***? NOT AGAIN. The invitation said for the 30th...not the 23rd. This is the second straight year I have missed the Turkey. Goddamn. Heiden-Dorf: *grunts* er...Cheese Sandwich? *picks up, steaming hot, dirty cheese sandwich from his pocket* Dorf: No... ...DON'T LOOK AT ME! THAT TOOMI BISCHOFF WILL GET HIS....JUST DO! *Dorf runs away as the camera pans toward Heiden-Dorf eating the Cheese Sandwich as the camera fades to black.*
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