Bedlam LadyD
Samurai Cop
Is a WSX Cupcake. BOOOOOOOM!!
Posts: 2,452
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Post by Bedlam LadyD on Jun 2, 2007 20:45:57 GMT -5
The camera fades into a lockerroom that has been seen multiple times over the past few days. Sitting in a chair, directly in front of the camera, is Synthy Eris. She has her hands clasped and looks slightly annoyed, as she begins to speak.
Synthy: My name is Synthy Eris, and I have a question to impose. As intelligent as many of you are, there still seem to be a few...well, morons crowding the audience. By this I am not talking of intelligence level, but am speaking of what I call 'Sheep Syndrome'. This is the irritating little factor that makes me..not so sociable. I don't like the people who think the women wrestlers of EWT are here specifically to please you. This is what certain other companies would have you believe, and you fall for it hook, line, and sinker. Same with numerous other, ah, things. Clothes, beauty perceptions, and what makes a person 'cool', who to hang out with... Media makes you a moron. You can't simply see past...
As she is speaking about materialistic and shallow people, there is a knock on the door. Synthy's head snaps toward the door, and she looks sort of surprised.
Synthy: I'm a bit busy, here!
Muffled Voice: This is important!
Synthy's ears perk up, and she begins to twitch slightly. Knowing that voice, she immediately stands and walks briskly over to the door, throwing it open and getting right into the face of the person on the other side of it.
Synthy: What do you want?
The camera angles itself to get a view of this person, eventually revealing a very surprised looking Cassinova.
Cassinova: Woah, calm down there, Synnie-syn-syn. I didn't even expect you to be here...
Synthy: In my own lockerroom?
Cassinova: Yeah, or even in the building for that matter. Didn't think the lesbo-feminist rally was over until 7...
Synthy: Well then why are you here?
Cassinova pushes past her and allows himself into her room.
Cassinova: Well, in the off-chance that you were here, I thought that I'd check up on you, get your thoughts on the fact that you won't have to wear the Monroe costume for that much longer, that sort of thing.
Synthy: Funny that the only dude in EWT more feminine than me would show up right when I'm discussing moronic people. And I'm surprised you even care about my opinions, as I assumed you were much more interested in Juri.
Cassinova: First of all, if you think that you're only more masculine than me, you're severely underestimating your butch-ness. Second, I really don't care. I just had some downtime before my scheduled slaughter of Jack Evans, and thought I'd irritate you for a moment.
Synthy: It's working.
Cassinova: Good. So... you aren't wearing the dress, why?
Synthy: Isn't it only mandatory during matches?
Cassinova: (Making himself at home on her chair.) What are you smoking? From the time you step through the do', you should be Monroe from head to toe... yo.
Cass lets out an "Ohhh!" after his freestyle, as Synthy facepalms in disgust.
Cassinova: Only kidding, but yeah, I'd say you've got about thirty seconds to get in that suit before you're fired. See ya.
Cass stands and heads towards the door.
Synthy: That's it? You just came in here for that? Sheesh, looks like EWT's resident overhyped metrosexual has run out of cute little things to say.
Cassinova: (Comes to a screeching halt, a few feet from the door.) ...First of all, let's leave Chad Michaels out of this.
Synthy: Yes, let's.
Cassinova: Second... I think I just came up with a better idea. And since it's very rare that I think of anything, I'm putting this plan into action!
Synthy: And this idea would be...
Cassinova: Simple. Since you are apparently unimpressed with me... I'm going to give you the opportunity to see me up close!
Synthy: Whuh...?
Cassinova: That's right! Throw the costume on and bring your ass to the ring, because get this: For the first time ever, "The Dog Faced Gremlin", Synthy Eris, will manage the EWT Ox-Division Champion to victory!
Synthy: No frickin' way! Are you on crack? I'm not going out there with you!
By the time she gets through saying this, Cass is already dailing a number on his phone. He puts the phone to his ear while looking at Synthy.
Cassinova: ...Yes, Mr. Toom E.? You wouldn't believe who I'm looking at right now, and you definitely wouldn't believe what she's wearing.
Synthy let's out an "Ack!" as she grabs his phone and closes it as soon as possible.
Synthy: Fine! I'll come out there... but I won't be your freak-on-a-leash forever. One of these days, you're going to regret doing this to me.
Cassinova: Yeah, I hear that a lot.
He looks over to his right and whistles, causing a barrage of make-up artists and hair-stylists to rush through Synthy's door. At least fifteen of these people push Synthy out of their way and get through, before Cass stops one of them and whispers in his ear.
Cassinova: Give her the... deluxe package...
The man nods and walks into the room as well. Synthy looks down-trotten as she shakes off the effects of over a dozen people simultaneously knocking her to the ground. At the last second, she gives Cassinova a glare before one of the stylists slams the door.
Cassinova: (Smirking and yelling through the door.) You have some fun in there, Synthy!
Cassinova laughs smugly and struts off camera as we...
FADE TO COMMERCIAL
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Post by Tha Kid Joker on Jun 2, 2007 20:47:14 GMT -5
Immediately after the commercial, we return to get a nice view of the arena. The camera steadies on the center of the ring, where some random announcer guy stands.
SRAG: Ladies and gentlemen... this next contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Parkland, Washington... weighing in at 165 lbs... "The Prince of Parkland", Jack Evans!
DMX's "We In Here" starts up, and Jack Evans dances out from behind the curtain. He walks down the ramp, slapping hands with the fans, before sliding into the ring. Once in the ring, he pulls out a few more dance steps, before starting to windmill on the ground. After this spiffy dance number, Jack rises to his feet and jumps in the air, spinning twice before landing and awaiting his opponent.
SRAG: And the opponent... hailing from Los Angeles, California... weighing in at 225 lbs... the EWT Ox-Division Champion, Cassinova!
"Square Dance" starts up and Cass walks out from the back, pretty much in hysterics. He makes his way down the ramp and rolls into the ring, handing the referee his title and snatching the microphone from the announcer. Shooing the announcer away, he waits for his music to fade out before sitting on the turnbuckle and beginning to speak.
Cassinova: EWT fans of all ages, do I have a treat for you. I know this has probably been a boring show so far, due to the lack of... well... me... but I swear, I'll make the fact that you spent your monthly welfare check to be here worth it. People, I present to you, my manager for the first time ever... she's often mistaken for Nightcrawler from X-Men at shopping malls... Synthy Eris!
As probably requested by Cass, a video clip of Marilyn Monroe singing "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" serves as Synthy's tron and entrance music. After a while of hesitation, Synthy slowly stumbles out on her tall heels, her embarrassment actually overshadowing her anger. Instead of the normal dress and make-up, her eye-liner has been applied thick and wet, so that it drips down her face. Her lipstick was put on horridly, smeared around her mouth and cheeks, and the words "LAUGH AT ME" have been written into her forehead and painted on her dress. She awkwardly stumbles down the ramp, arms flailing so as not to trip, and the audience can't even attempt to laugh at something so mean. As the crowd stands in stunned silence, a very content looking Cassinova stands in the ring with his arms crossed, as Synthy takes her place by the apron, looking defeated.
Cassinova: (Point at Synthy.) That's what happens, folks. That's what happens. This is why you watch what you say around the fastest rising star in EWT hist...
Before he has a chance to finish, Jack Evans runs up and forearms him in the back, and this match is underway! Evans pounds Cassinova a few times and grabs his arms, whipping him to the ropes. Cass rebounds, and Evans nails him with a corkscrew dropkick! Cass goes down and Evans pins him...
1...
Cass kicks out. The camera shows Synthy on the outside, looking absolutely spirit-broken. Fans behind her attempt to yell uplifting things, but she pays no attention. The camera goes back into the ring, where Jack Evans has Cassinova to his feet. He attempts to whip him to the ropes once more, but Cass holds onto Evans' arm and twists around with a kick to his stomach. With Evans bent over, Cass grabs his head and drops him with a DDT! Cass moves some hair from his face and gives a cocky smile to the booing fans. He then places his boot on Evans' chest, effectively pinning him.
1...
Evans easily gets the shoulder up. Cass looks down on him and picks him up, before lifting him and dropping him with an inverted atomic drop. Evans holds his crotch and remains standing, before Cass grabs his head from behind, dropping his neck onto his knee! Instead of pinning, Cassinova instead throws his arms out, showing himself off and receiving many boos in return.
Cass' smug expression quickly turns into anger, as he yells, "Cheer for me!" at the crowd, only to receive even more boos. He seems frustrated, and is taken by surprise when Jack Evans spins him around and pulls him down with a reverse lungblower! Cass rises up, holding his chest, before Evans hits a drop toehold on him. Cassinova goes down and Evans turns him onto his back. With Cass facing up, Evans jumps and steps on him with a double-foot stomp! He steadies himself while still standing on Cass, before jumping again and coming down with a standing moonsault! Evans holds for a pin!
1...
2...
Cass gets the shoulder up. Jack bangs his hand on the mat, knowing he almost had him, and stands up. He stomps Cass a few times and picks him up, attempting a kick to the stomach. Cass, however, catches the kick, and taps his head to show how much smarter he is than Jack. He throws Evans' foot to the side, only for Evans to spin around and wrap his legs around Cass' neck and flip him with a headscissors! Cass goes down near the turnbuckle, and Jack looks to take advantage! He climbs the turnbuckle and sizes Cass up, before jumping and flipping off with the 630!
...Cass gets the knees up, causing Jack to crash onto them! Jack rolls around in pain, as Cass stands and once again taps the side of his head. The crowd boos, and Cass looks over at a very depressed looking Synthy Eris. Knowing Jack will be out for a while, Cass exits the ring and takes it upon himself to approach Synthy, asking her why she isn't getting the fans behind him. Synthy doesn't respond, being oddly... passive about the whole thing. Cass continues to berate and yell at her, using a mocking tone whenever his voice isn't raised. Finally, he gets sick of messing with her, and looks to get into the ring... before getting hit with a baseball slide that knocks him back into the barricade!
With Cass down, Jack stands and runs off of the opposite ropes, returning and springboarding off of the near-ropes with a double cartwheel splash! Jack loses his du-rag in the process, and stands to loud cheers. He picks Cass up and slides him into the ring before rolling in after him, and covers for a pin...
1...
2...
Cass kicks out, just before three. Jack can sense his victory, and picks Cass up, only to be leveled with a European uppercut! Jack sprawls backwards into a corner, and Cass immediately follows this with an El Generico-style Ole kick to his face! Evans is very groggy now, and Cass kicks him before setting him up for the California DreamDriver!
He attempts to flip, but Evans just backbody-drops him, before turning running towards him with a standing corkscrew shooting star press! He crowd "Ooohs" in amazement, and Jack Evans immediately follows this with a standing corkscrew senton, completing the Ode to Blitzkrieg! Cass is now laid out, and Jack Evans looks to finish it! He jumps onto the turnbuckle and hops off with the 630 once more! Cass manages to roll out of the way just in time, and Jack rolls through the move. They both rise at the same time, and Jack rushes Cass!
...Cass ducks behind Jack and hooks his arms into a crucifix pin position, before bringing him down extra hard for a crucifix bomb! Cass maintains this into a pin, and holds onto the ropes for leverage!
Synthy, seeing this, suddenly comes to life and darts across the ring as the referee starts the count!
1...
2...
Synthy runs over to Cass and reaches into the ring, pushing him! This reverses the momentum of the pin, leaving Jack on top of Cass!
1...
2...
Synthy reaches into the ring and holds Jack's hand, giving him the extra leverage he needs!
3!
"We In Here" starts again as the bell rings, and Jack rolls off of Cassinova! Cass sits up, holding his hair in disbelief and staring furiously at a pleased looking Synthy Eris. Even Jack Evans can't believe what just happened, and it just now starts to sink in with the crowd what just happened.
SRAG: Here's your winner... and NEW....
By now, Cass has stormed out of the ring and snatched the microphone from the announcer, staring at him angrily.
Cassinova: Don't you DARE say those words... (Panting.) Sorry to disappoint you all... but this man is NOT your new Ox-Division champion!
The camera cuts to the ring, where Jack Evans has just been awarded the title. He looks confused, and Cass continues.
Cassinova: Apparently, the idiot that created the matchboard this week forgot to make my match a title match, meaning, yes, he did win the match, but not the title. THEREFORE! STILL your EWT Ox-Division Champion... Cassinova!
The crowd boos the hell out of this, as Cass repeatedly says, "It's true, it's true..." Cass stops and thinks for a moment at the blemish this loss would be on his record, and speaks once more.
Cassinova: BUT... Jackie, I'll give you a chance to actually beat me for the title. That's right, under the conditions that the match we just had be ERASED from the record books and replaced with this next one, I'll allow it to be for my title. Sound good?
Jack Evans, figuring he has nothing to lose, just shrugs and tells Cass to bring it. Cass smirks and slides into the ring, still holding the microphone, and gets face-to-face with Evans. The referee goes to put the title back on the outside, but Cass stops him and snatches the title out of his hands. He shows the belt to Jack, and begins to speak once more.
Cassinova: This, Jackie, you will never again lay your...
Suddenly, without warning, Cass drops the mic and smashes the title into Jack Evans' face! Jack goes down as Cass drops his title and demands that the referee start the match. Reluctantly, the referee obliges, calling for the bell just as Cass places his boot onto Jack's chest...
1...
2...
3!
The ending bell rings, and Cass kicks Jack out of the ring as "Square Dance" begins to play.
SRAG: Here's your winner... and STILL EWT Ox-Division Champion... Cassinova!
Meanwhile, Cassinova picks his microphone back up, still breathing heavily and staring coldly at Synthy. Synthy's mood has turned from embarrassment to seething hatred, and she clenches her fists while looking at him.
Cassinova: Cut my god damned music off! (Pointing at Synthy.) ...You. Come here.
Synthy, who sees this as a chance to get into the ring and finally put the hurting on Cass that he deserves, carefully climbs into the ring (as not to overexpose herself) and gets face-to-face with C-Nova. Cass takes a few steps back from her as she does.
Cassinova: Woah, not to close there, Rex. I'm allergic to halitosis. But either way... (He takes a few, slow steps toward her) I want you to listen to me, very... carefully...
At the last word, Synthy suddenly rears her foot back and brings it forward, kicking Cass square between the legs! Cass drops to his knees in agony, and Synthy picks up the microphone, holding him by the hair to keep him up.
Synthy: No, you listen! I've had it with your idiot jokes, your arrogance, and your overall elitist ass! You have no clue how happy I am that tomorrow, my time in this degrading costume officially ends, and I don't have to feel like a doofus with a "Kick Me" sign on my back anymore! (Her anger ties her tongue and affects her thinking.) Cass.. you.. you.. ignorant prick! I'm done with listening to your moronic ramblings, and I refuse to let you make a fool out of me any longer! Everything about you makes me sick to the very depths of my stomach, and if you DARE attempt to make me look stupid again, you'll suffer a much darker fate than the one you suffered tonight.
At this, she lets go of Cass' (who's still on his knees) hair, before crouching and laying him out with a DDT! Cassinova is down and out, and Synthy stands to a great fan reaction. She looks around at the crowd, before kissing her index and middle fingers and pressing them to Cass' cheek. With that, she laughs and exits the ring, heading up the ramp and beginning to rub off the make-up as "Ghostflowers" plays in the background.
FADE TO COMMERCIAL
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Post by sparverine on Jun 3, 2007 2:20:58 GMT -5
Title Proper: Dropping by The Green Dime Corporate Karaoke Nite to Benefit the Credible Representatives of Awful Propaganda Sponsored by the Phloriphornia Orange Juice Company and Screw You Soda Try our controversial flavors such as: Berry pupin' for Bosses (When you need down time instead of downsizing), Lethargic Lemon-Lime (Drains you until your thirst knows who to really obey), O.B. [Overactive Bladder] Orange (Hey, at least you could always keep your mind busy reading the label), and Reaper Reeker Root Beer (For those who work stiffer during the graveyard shift) Today!!
Title Condensed: Dropping by The Green Dime, Corporate Karaoke Nite to Benefit the C.R.A.P. WARNING: The following is another shameful promotion by those three duperstars: Re: Generation Y. Argh. I can't believe there are millionaire idiots who continue to forcefeed this stuff towards the masses. Early this morning, probably around 2:39 a.m. "Dumber Than Odam" Slamsley McBody, "The Lame" Taggart Tagatito, and that goof named Evan Heznard walked into some two-bit bar known as "The Green Dime". Seems Phloriphornia Orange Juice was hosting a crappy event for the Credible Representatives of Awful Propaganda. Really sad when you already knew what the acronym was. Even worse, and I say this in total sincerity to prevent being involved in a potential lawsuit...I deeply apologize to the great artists for whom these "Re: Generates" mocked by going to their Corporate Karaoke Nite. The following parodies are meant solely for entertainment and are not going to be utilized for any other purpose except showing the complete ignorance of said characters involved. [The scene opens up in Downtown San Lorenzo, Phloriphornia where the boys who proudly represent the red, the green, and the yellow will be attending their favorite watering hole, The Green Dime. Although the three-star restaurant and bar looks to have had better days with the dilapidated lighting and an amplifier having fallen from the ceiling through a table...Slamsley, Taggart, and Evan remain undeterred. As per their agreement with various designers...skip that. Read the first promotion if you really want to know how these guys snazzy themselves up. The first song that is queued up will be sung by “The Same” Taggart Tagatito. He walks up to the microphone and requests, “Brother Midnight”.][/color] “The Same” Taggart Tagatito: Yeah, Slamsley…Evan, gonna belt this “Brother Midnight” Parody of “My Sharona” by: The Knack out.
Ooh Brother Midnight, somebody praise him. When you gonna put on some pants, Midnight? Ooh your angle makes me laugh, makes me laugh. Ticklin’ the funny bone with that gaffe, Brother Never gonna stop, give up the Edge. Such a crying shame. Walkin’ around with them hairy legs and knobby knees. Some body praise him woo. Br Br Br Brother Midnight...
If you understand me oh, baybeh, baybeh. Gonna work out that wonderful plan, Midnight. Creeping out your foes with that enormous nose Big enough to sniff the smell of that idea, Midnight Never gonna stop, give up the Edge. Such a crying shame. Walkin’ around with them hairy legs and knobby knees. Some body praise him woo. Br Br Br Brother Midnight...
When you gonna lose in River City, lose in River City. It is ‘cause you don’t wanna be another Tulip, Brother Is it just baybeh, baybeh? Or is it just some sorta filler word, Brother? Never gonna stop, give up the Edge. Such a crying shame. Walkin’ around with them hairy legs and knobby knees. Some body praise him woo. Br Br Br Brother Midnight... “Son of Slam” Slamsley McBody: Well, either the Offices of Brother Midnight are going to up in arms over this or we just should continue spreading his good word after being inundated with the audiotape, “My Soul is Not Just On My Wrestling Boots.” And speaking of good news…Phloriphornia Orange Juice now produces your juice freshly squeezed with zero to no pulp. “The Same” Taggart Tagatito: Now, Slamsley since we’re a new team, as far as Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation is concerned how are we even going to get involved in a feud? I mean we’re sane people and this ain’t River City Wrestlin’… “Son of Slam” Slamsley McBody: Yeah, and even though, Brother Midnight was a frontrunner for talent enhancement like us…we gotta do something besides not wearing pants. “The Self-Righteous Referee” Evan Heznard: Duh, uh…why don’t we wear our white-collared souls on our wrestling boots? “Son of Slam” Slamsley McBody: That’s not too bad of an idea. But we’d probably either become super heels ‘cause of possible copyright infringement or whatever and Lord knows, baybeh we can’t be fan favorites. “The Same” Taggart Tagatito: Aw, MUCK IT!...up, Slamsley, I'm going to introduce this next one...it's known as "Oh, The Chains Are A'Chokin'". Once you get the rhythm and the words, sing along...though, your drunken stupors and screeching vocals may requisition us to have the bartenders shout out "last call." “Son of Slam” Slamsley McBody : Oh, The Chains Are A'Chokin' Parody of the English Sea Shanty "The Pipes They Are A Callin'..."
Oh, the chains, the chains they are a'chokin'... Taggart and I will smash your skulls in with steel chairs With steel chairs Oh, the chains, the chains they are a'chokin'... And when we escape this cage, it will be with our titles
Oh, the chains, the chains they are a'chokin'... The ever-miserable life from both of you And if by this time you have no clue We're gonna leave your bodies and bones broken
Oh, the chains, the chains they are a'chokin... Slamsley and I will smash your skulls in with steel chairs With steel chairs Oh, the chains, the chains they are a'chokin'... And when we escape this cage, it will be with our titles
Now, Aidan Donnelly and Shane Malone listen Instead of talking to that tramp whom you are pissin' There is no surrender and no submission There is only one way for victorious succession
Oh, the chains, the chains they are a'chokin'... Re: Generation Y will smash your skulls in with steel chairs With steel chairs Oh, the chains, the chains they are a'chokin'... And when we escape this cage, it will be with our titles
Now, no submission, still we will have victorious succession And climb the corporate ladder of tag-team progression That's why the boys in red, green, and yellow Bleed the true blue colors of the mellow And we're gonna send to a place that's Hello minus the "o"
C'mon everybody...rouse again with the raucous chorus...
Oh, the chains, the chains they are a'chokin'... RGY's gonna smash your skulls with steel chairs With steel chairs Oh, the chains, the chains they are a'chokin'... And when we escape this cage, it will be with our titles “The Same” Taggart Tagatito: This song was from back in our Triad Wrestling days…long time ago, Slamsley’s been slammin’ down the sauce a little too quickly tonight. Back then, we had titles but I guess to keep with the times he changed the two names to the two leaders of Team Ireland. We thought of having Heznard do a parody for Rated X, but chances are they'd grade it with a D or F. So, yeah...um, well...I think two parodies are great 4 now, and if you're up for that, we've got no more words 4 now. Evan or Slamsley... "The Self-Righteous Referee" Evan Heznard: Let's get steady and MUCK IT!...up? "The Same" Taggart Tagatito: Exactly, let's get steady and MUCK IT!...up. We're not invited to the House Party but we're gonna "Sell A Lot of Beer" like them Warren Brothers tonight. [The scene ends with Slamsley, Taggart, and Evan singing "Friends in Low Places" by: Garth Brooks, ironically the only non-parody in their repetoire. Expect more from these "Dark Match Doomsayers", "Reject Players" and corporate cretins who have blue-collar hearts and white-collared souls.]
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Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
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Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Jun 3, 2007 4:20:26 GMT -5
*We fade in from commercial, as the camera peers up, showing a certain furry walking down the hallway, clutched in his talons is a "Nintendo DS." He seems to be playing some game, though it's not really apparent which one it is, as he keeps heading down the hall, perhaps to his locker room, perhaps to the break room... who knows?*
"I DID YOU SEE HOW I DANCED!? I TOTALLY BEAT HIM!"
*Says a familar voice from out of frame.*
"Look, I'm just glad that bastardization of a match is over."
*The sound of closer approaching footsteps as heard, Craus seeming entranced with this game, as he just keeps walking along, barely paying any attention, not noticing these two... familiar, voices just yet.*
"What do you mean?"
*Closer*
"That out there wasn't wrestling, that was a travesty!"
*The furry justs keeps walking along, continuing to play his game, again... barely paying any attention to these voices, as they seem to approach closer.*
"Yeah, I know... I should have did the Moonwalk."
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I-"
*In a flash, Icon meets Furry in a head on collision.*
*Crauswell stops, dropping his gaming device as it hits the ground, the thing no longer working, as the furry slowly looks forward, immediately spotting Axel, getting right in his face now, beak to nose.*
Axel: *With beak pressing into his nose* Hello big nose.
Jobby: It's BIRDMAN!
*Crauswell steps back, reaching over and... patting Axel on the back!*
Crauswell: Oh... sorry about that. I wasn't watching where I was going, busy playing that new Pokemon game. You know... leveling up and training my cute little pals. Of course, that collision probably just screwed me up, but... ah well, you just gotta take these things. Besides, I don't mind starting over again. It's a fun enough title anyway I'd say.
Axel: ...Am I in a bizarro world?
Crauswell: Ummm... nah, I don't think so. I saw your last match by the way... you fellows did quite well if I say so myself.
Axel: ...OH GAWD!!! I'VE ACCIDENTALLY SWALLOWED SOME OF JOBBY'S COLOR INDUCER!
Jobby: You are the one that ate my Pop Rocks?
Axel: I'm TRIPPING OUT RIGHT NOW! FIRST THAT MATCH AND NOW CRAUSWELL IS BEING NICE! I THINK I'M SO BAD THAT I'M GOING TO OD!
Jobby: *not listening* I was wondering where those Pop Rocks went!
*Crauswell chuckles, as he looks at the two, now reaching over and patting Axel on the head, as he looks over at Jobby.*
Crauswell: By the way, I'm sorry about the last time we met... wish it had been under different circumstances. You see though, I'm trying to get my act together... I'm really sincere about this. I mean, it's not impossible for a furry to be a good person is it? Sure... I've done alot of... questionable stuff in the past, but hey... that's what it is, all in the past my friends.
Jobby: Isn't that great, Axel?
Axel: *Waving his hands in front of his eyes* Dude... I AM FREAKING OUT!
*The gryphon man looks at Axel again, curiously examining him now, as he scratches under his chin.*
Crauswell: Hmmm... he doesn't seem to be taking it well.
Jobby: Oh he gets to be that way sometimes when things don't go his way...
Axel: *twitch* I'm not feeling so well...
Craus: Ah... well, hopefully I didn't mess his day up too bad. I just thought I'd say hello to you fellows.
Jobby: Hell-LOW BACK!
Axel: *Eyes growing wide, to unnatural proportions* ...There's a bird here that's talking to me. And he's friendly! Is this Happy Happy Land?! *He begins to sweat terribly*
*The furry looks again at Axel, then back at Jobby again.*
Crauswell: Hmmmm, let me give you some friendly advice, you should probably take him to go lay down... the guy sounds like he's a bit delirious. It might do him some good after all.
Axel: *He dry heaves* Oh god... *He runs off, dropping a wrapper from his back pocket.*
*Jobby picks it up.*
Jobby: So this is where my vintage Pop Rocks went! I thought so... Crauswell: Erm... wait. I didn't know Old pop rocks could send you on... a drug induced haze. How old exactly were they?
Jobby: Well, the package says 1980... But the previous owner said before he sold it to me that he wouldn't recommend eating it. Because he found it under a pile of rotting garbage in his privately owned dump.
Crauswell: Oh.... suppose you should get your pal there to a stomach pump then?
Jobby: That just maybe a good idea! Thanks Mr. Birdman! You're a good person!
*Crauswell nods, feeling quite touched at this comment, waving back as he reaches down to grab his gaming device, then heads off in the opposite direction. Juri walks into view, looking completely confused.*
Juri: ...You, is there some reason why Mr. Halaway is passed out in front of my door?
Jobby: I'm ON IT!
*Fade out to commercial.*
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Post by teamireland on Jun 3, 2007 17:52:53 GMT -5
*Cut to the Team Ireland locker-room. O'Hare readies his troops for the TLC Rumble.* O'Hare: Okay, lads, this is it. You're all in this tonight. If you can win this for us, we'll have a huge celebration & guaranteed title shots for everyone of youse! You just need to play your parts. Okay? This is the most important match Team Ireland have ever been involved in! Moreso than our debut, moreso than when we won the tag-team titles, moreso than the tag-team Elimination Chamber! This will ensure we go down in history! Once I'm in charge, not only are title matches a guarantee, but I could book myself as special referee &, hey, title victories could be a certainty too! Liam, you know what I asked you to do, right? Liam: (slightly twitchy) Yessir... O'Hare: Good. Are you going to follow my rules? Liam: (hesitantly) N... Y-yes... O'Hare: You damn well better. Look, son, you've fouled up too often for my liking, but the other lads like you, so I keep you around! You foul up again & you're gone! Understood? Liam: Y-y-yessir... O'Hare: (reaching his hand out) Put your hands in, lads. *They all place their hands ontop of eachother in a pile* Alright, be ready to do this. Tonight we're winning this for Ireland, right? 1... 2... 3... All: IRELAND! *and they break as we fade out*
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Post by Mella Drom Attoc on Jun 4, 2007 12:53:45 GMT -5
*Camera moves on to the next segment*
Lull Songstra is on the apron, dressed in gear the audience wishes they could afford. His grin is indefinitely cheery, and he raises the mic to his lips.
Cole: Look, John... It's your favorite musical singer!
JBL: Please don't say that this guy is going to sing!
“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CHILDREN OF ALL AGES….THE PART OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN TO EVER WALK THE EARTH WILL BE PLAYED BY THE LIVING GODDESS FROM THE OC…….MELLA DROM ATTOC!
JBL: And THANKFULLY IT'S OVER!
Cole: I thought that was great myself.
JBL: You would!
To this spiffy introduction, everyone’s favorite soap star sashays her way out from behind the curtain. She’s blowing numerous kisses and waves the crowd as the audience members look on with perplexing stares. Is she for real?
Cole: She looks happy to be here.
JBL: Nobody else does.
Cole: What do you mean, John?
JBL: Look at her face! You can't say that she's sincere about this!
Cole: She reminds me of someone.
JBL: ...Shut up.
The pixie five-foot-five inch woman steps between the ropes being held open by her man, Lull. She hands him her sheer pink cloak and beams as he steps away with it meticulously folded. In the center of the ring, Mella feels like she’s in her element. She poses in a Marilyn Monroe-esque way and waits her opponent.
Cole: She carries herself in a delightful air, doesn't she?
JBL: Makes me sick.
KMFDM’s ‘Sturm & Drang’ comes over the speakers. And Mella wants to know why such a pathetic riffraff lower class woman doesn’t get stuck with something generic. Lullabelle Hell steps out and she’s in biker babe leather pants and a black shirt. Both have flames as the main design, and this lowers Mella’s ever-so-important opinion of the black-haired biker.
JBL: This looks promising.
Cole: Something tells me that Mella won't be smiling much after this match.
The bell rings; and both look at the other. Lullabelle Hell laughs at Mella and then aims a clothesline toward her chest. Mella holds up a hand in the typical ‘stop!’ fashion. This confuses Miss Hell and she pauses. Mella takes the advantage and kicks the woman in the knee. Following up, she slaps the woman in the head and backs away from the glare. Miss Hell runs after her, but Mella sidesteps and Lullabelle sails past into the turnbuckle.
JBL: What is going on?
With this, Mella decides to hit a Vixen Haze. She steps backward as the dazed biker woman falls flat. She flashes a grin to Lull and goes straight into her Diamond Superior maneuver. However, the situation is reversed by the irritated Hell who flips herself out of it with a grunt of frustration. Mella looks shocked as she lays on the ground. Lullabelle hits an elbow into Mella’s abdomen. Mella screams an audible “OUCHY!” and curls up, this confuses Lullabelle as it was a tad overdramatic. Mella keeps herself curled.
JBL: “Ouchy?!” Does she even know what wrestling entails!?
Cole: Well, Ms Lullabelle looks to be a tough individual.
JBL: Hell! Her name is Lullabelle Hell!
Cole: Well, I can't say....heck.....
JBL: You seem to have no problem to call those you dislike “from Hell”.
Lullabelle shrugs and stomps the woman’s shoulder, releasing more screams from the tinier. Miss Hell sops and crosses her arms. “What the smurf?” She says as Mella’s anguish is loudly being pronounced. Stepping closer, she looks down at the supposedly injured woman.
Mella quickly looks at Lull and smiles, before grabbing Hell’s ankle and flipping her backward. She grabs her ankles and pulls herself into a sunset flip.
Cole: THAT WAS IMPRESSIVE! THIS MAYBE IT!
1 and-a 2 and-a no three.
JBL: THANK GOD!
Hell pushes Mella off of her. Standing up, the raven-haired chick looks angry and shoves Mella backward. She gets into the TV actress’ face and slaps her. Mella looks shocked and surprised. Her mouth is open in an O form and she shoves Hell back. Hell grabs her by the hair and swings her to the other side of the mat. Mella clutches her head and utters several unintelligible phrases until “MEANIE!” She ends up crashing her body into Lullabelle’s, knocking both women down.
Cole: That was...unorthodox...
JBL: No, that was pathetic.
Mella pouts and rolls herself through the ropes while looking at her nails and soothing her hair back into place. She scrambles back in in time to kick the confused as hell Lullabelle in the head, before she can get completely up. Miss Hell slumps to her knees . Mella takes the opportunity and pulls her up enough to slam into the Prima Donna.
Cole: OH MY, THAT WAS HIGH IMPACT ON THE SKULL OF MS. HECK!
JBL: NO! NO! DAMNIT! NOT THIS WAY!
Cole: THAT'S MY LINE!
1,2, 3.
JBL: DAMMIT!
Somehow, the audience can’t even boo.
Mella smiles prettily, and leaps at Lull, before grabbing a mic. Now they find their voice.
“Oh, my fans! I’m so proud you could see my very first match in EWT! I guarantee you’ll see the better of me once I get more suitable opponents. That vicious woman in the ring should be put away for injuring my head….but on a happier note, this gives you all a chance to celebrate my victory!” She ends with a girlish, annoying giggle that she believes to be charming.
JBL: I'm going to be sick.
Cole: I dare say, John... Coming Attraction Productions have proven themselves to be a force in EWT.
JBL: ...I hate you.
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Post by brokenrose on Jun 4, 2007 16:36:21 GMT -5
* A familiar themes begins to play. * *From out of the back comes Mrs. Kenzo Suzuki, Hiroko clad in her usual kimono. Due to her beauty masked beneath geisha makeup the EWT audience boos her. She ignores them as she fans herself with a hand fan.* Finkel: Making her way to the ring... From Japan... Weighing in at 110 lbs... HIROKO SUZUKI! She enters the ring and awaits fellow Japanese opponent.* * "Rose" begins to play. * *The crowd eagerly awaits to see the Kimono clad BR and cheers her on as she enters from the ramp. Foregoing her normal entrance perhaps due to how hard it would be to walk through the crowd in such an attire. She quickly makes it to the ring amid the cat calls her Irish freckles disappearing in a sea of red that matches her hair color.* Finkel: Making her way down to the ring now residing in Osaka, Japan.. Weighing in at 142 pounds... BR Juri Sadamoto! *She quickly enters the ring and discards her sandals. The referee motions for the bell as “Rose” dies down.* Cole: This is a rare sight, eh John? JBL: Two kimono clad women in the ring? I'd say so... Hiroko: You are a disgrace to Japanese! Look at your hair! At your freckles! You DARE GO BY A JAPANESE NAME YOU HA- *Juri, not in the mood for anymore, jumps in the air and hits a Spinning Back Kick to Hiroko which floors her.* Cole: ...oh my.... She maybe down! JBL: Heh he he.. I think she's in a coma after that shot. *Juri covers her lightly, trying to do the best she can from exposing herself in her dress.* 1! 2! 3! Finkel: And the winner of this squash...er...match.... BR JURI SADAMOTO. *Juri stands back up, sighing at her current lot, not noticing that the cloth that holds her kimono to her has come loose. But before anyone could see anything she quickly covers herself up. She quickly exits the ring, cursing the fact that she was forced to such public embarrassment.*
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