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Post by crauswell on Mar 4, 2007 18:05:12 GMT -5
We return from commercial, as Tier, by Rammstein is heard starting up, Spyke Johanson slowly heading down towards the ring, not really seeming to care very much about his upcoming title opportunity.
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the EWT Ox Division Championship! Introducing the challenger, from Stockholm Sweden, weighing in at 223 pounds, Spyke Johanson!
The crowd gives a bit of a mixed reaction as Spyke simply looks around and shrugs, climbing up the steps and daintily into the ring and folding his arms, as he looks at the mat. Soon after, Broken Wings pumps out of the Toomitron, as the champion emerges.
Announcer: And the opponent, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 272 pounds.... Craus...
Wait a minute, Tyreese comes out of nowhere along with Principal Pain as they blindside the champion! Crauswell growls, trying to throw them off, when joining rather swiftly from the back, Andy Duke and Johnathan Doe of the Cidal Squad pop out from the back, joining the two in assaulting in the champion, who fights back. Then, as if you didn't see it coming, Daryl Dragon comes out as well, helping to fight off the other guys attacking the champion... as this massive cluster wax almost immediately gets broken up by security! Crauswell growls... taking his belt and scampering off backstage in the confusion, as the other men simply watch, very eager to try and take it from him soon, except for Spyke, who is sulking even more after this interruption.
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Post by The Bad Man on Mar 4, 2007 20:59:25 GMT -5
Back in the EWT arena and Scott Norton is taking on Rikishi in a match. Suddenly out from the back comes Mr. Big, who despite being invloved in a severe match at March 4th 2007 seems hardly injured. However his face seems to suggest anger as he is purposeful and carrying a sledgehammer. Mr. Big charges the ring and clobbers Rikishi with a clothesline and hammers Scott Norton with an 'HFD' he takes a microphone up. the crowd begins to Boo loudly
MR. BIG: Last night was not the best night for me and my colleague. Last night this happened ....
Up on the screen we are shown in seperate frames the Midget King Curly Long plummeting from the top of the Elimination chamber through tables and more in a sickening moment. he is then stretchered away. We go back to Mr. Big
MR. BIG: Last night Curly Long was admitted to hospital with a broken leg and severe damage to his kidney area .. he could be out for 2 months or more!
The crowd begins to cheer
MR. BIG: You people make me sick, you people would wish pain and suffering on a man who is slightly smaller than you?
the crowd with venom shouts 'YES' loudly
MR.BIG: Well you peop ...
The lights suddenly dim to almost darkness and the titan-tron screen glows, a voice begins to speak over the sound system./i]
VOICE: Big? Big? How could you forget March 4th?
Mr. Big drops to one knee holding his head in pain, the other hand keeps hold of the microphone
Mr.BGI: I have .... n't .... forgotten ... I ...
VOICE: Big ... March the 4th is your special violent time ... it always has been? ... how could you forget?
MR. BIG: I ... said ... I haven't forgott .... arrggghh!!
The lights begin to rise and Mr. Big lunges at Rikishi, he grabs Rikishi around the waist and begins to squeese, and squeese until Rikishi begins to scream. Wounds from the previous night on the top of Big's head begin to re-open as he continues to crush Rikishi. As blood trickles down from his dome Big then headbutts Rikishi and then powerbombs him into the mat. Mr. Big picks up his sledgehammer and then repeatedly batters Rikishi like a possesed mad man chopping wood.
VOICE: That is it ... release the Big and the ...
Scott Norton can't take this anymore and tries to stop Mr. Big but from out of the crowd a groutesque black man leaps the rails and collides with Scott Norton in the ring. Mr. Big continues to hit Rikish with the sledgehammer as Norton tries to regain his bearings. The grotesquely spherical man latches onto his head and begins to bite away at Norton's head, he lets go and wipes the blood away, he reaches into his trousers and pulls out some sort of cruel looking animal trap poachers would use. With the look of pure barbaric evil he pulls the trap back and then releases it on top of Norton's head. Norton screams out in savage pain as EMT's rush to the ring they dare not get in.
MR. BIG: ...
The grotesque man pauses and looks over at Mr. Big's horrific assault and grimaces a gnarly looking smile. The man is almost an abomination of the human world. He is around 6ft tall but is clearly tipping the scales at over 400lbs which most fans can see as he wears no shirt or top at all. However it is his craggy walnut face, small chin only goatee, nose that look slike it was put in a blender and bald head that is the most disturbing thing about him. He waddles over to Mr. Big and lowers the arm that holds the sledgehammer. He leans into he microphone like a giant slug.
GROTESQUE MAN (A raspy deep gurgling voice): The Bad!
The two men look at each other and both begin to smile, but not a smile a child would find pleasant nor a serial killer. But the smile of men who are clearly disturbed. the crowd begin to boo as the two men head backstage slowly. Leaving the bloody mess of rikishi and Scott Norton for the EMT's to attend to.
(Cut to PPV commercial for March 4th 2006.)
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Post by Trik Turner on Mar 4, 2007 21:45:08 GMT -5
(Backstage of March 4th, 2007 sits Trik Turner in a chair.)
How unsportsmanlike of you Evans. Not only do I invite you to be a guest in my ring, not only do I take you to school, but you use a chair...THIS CHAIR...that I sit on now.
How could you Evans? I beat you fair & square & you do that to me? To a Wrestling Savior.
This is far from over Evans...far from over.
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Indigocrates
Unicron
I got bored. Decided to become a philosopher. Just 'cause.
Posts: 2,953
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Post by Indigocrates on Mar 4, 2007 21:59:52 GMT -5
*Backstage, TJT is seen with a bottle of champagne, heading somewhere.*
Jupiter: Fresh from the match, not even a moment to celebrate in our own room! Heh. I am so glad, SO glad, we beat those worthless bluffers.
Thunder: I know, bro! DECIMATED THEM! Terina, that was awesome! Such strategy, such technique, such ability! You pinned the "boss" of the team and won us the match!
Terina: Thanks. Of course, not without the help of Joe. Good thing he let us hook up with him and Chris--I'd say it was worth it.
Jupiter: Right you are, Terina. Speaking of which, we've gotta congratulate Chris on his title defense. After all, he DID pin Redface--with a little help from yours truly!
*TJT then reach Christopher Indigo's locker room, door closed.*
Terina: I wonder what he's doing. I know he'll be glad to see me, at least--working so hard, and getting such a fine visual reward...
*Terina slowly opens the door, but when the trio peers inside, instead of seeing a proud Toolshed Champion, they see Christopher Indigo in a pitch black room, the only light a tv he's fixated his gaze on. He has a remote in hand, and he watches. What he's watching is The Royal Pain In The Ass Rumble, and the video clip that plays:
(At the RPITAR) Indigo starts applying pressure & brings Merc down to a knee. Indigo reels back as jz grabs an unexpected Indigo. Jz throws Indigo over the top rope, eliminating him.
Mike Tenay: "Christopher Indigo has been eliminated!"
Don West: "Christopher Indigo has been eliminated, he won't be getting a title shot!"
Indigo then presses the rewind button on the remote and watches the clip again. After the clip plays, he rewinds and watches once more. He continually repeats the process.
*Terina slowly closes the door.*
Jupiter: Ooookaaaaaaaay. Maybe we can...conratulate him....later.
Thunder: I second that notion.
*As the three of them walk away, the camera fades out into our next segment.*
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Post by Banned Member on Mar 4, 2007 22:46:23 GMT -5
*Merc is getting stitched up by the EWT doctor when Sum Guy walks in.*
SG: I'm some guy, and I like cream corn. I'm here with the new EWT heavyweight champion Merc. Now Merc what are you thoughts on that.
*Merc flinches a bit as the doc pulls the stitch though the cut above his eye.*
Merc: I've been here for two damn years. Been busting my ass for two years. Didn't run out the door. I've been busted open by JZ. Made Chances slave for a month. Got dismantled by Apes friend Rosebud. Was screwed out of the Tri State title by Ratings, but I finally made it. I am on top of the mountain!
*Merc holds the belt in both hands, and smiles.*
SG: But Merc you know there are alot of EWT wrestlers that are now aiming for you?
Merc: Ya I know that, and I will take on any EWT wrestler that gets in my way. I will show them why I am the EWT heavyweight champion.
SG: Now what Maelstrom?
Merc: The fact that I made him fish food. I said this once, but I'll say it again. I am the one who had the most success against him, and I proved that again tonight. I said I send people to the hospital, and I did!
SG: Now can we talk about Trish?
*Merc for the first time glares at Sum Guy.*
Merc: Not at this time no.
SG: I've heard rumors that Toom didn't want you to win tonight. Any truth to this?
*Merc all of a sudden gets an angry look in his eyes.*
Merc: What do I have to do to prove myself to that bastard! just because I'm not on my knees kissing his ass like some guys around here. I have nothing left to prove to him. How ever I do owe it to these fans out there. The ones that have supported me though the last few months. I'm sure Toom will dig up some old Hall of famer to try, and get the title off me. Well he is more than welcome to try. Because now that I'm at the top. It's going to be a tough fight to get this title off of me, and I will show No Mercy on those that try to do. Now excuse me theres a party with my name on it.
*Merc slings the title over his shoulder, and walks out as we fade to black.*
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Post by crauswell on Mar 4, 2007 23:11:35 GMT -5
As we return from commercial, we see Crauswell walking to the backstage area, swinging the door open and holding his forehead. The Ox Division belt is still strapped around his waist as he lets out a soft sigh of pleasure, brushing over the plate of it as he walks inside his room, sitting down on giant plush animal of some sort, a Raccoon let's say, laying back and glancing down.... panting slightly. He gazes up at the lights.
Crauswell: I did it... I finally solidified my status as the greatest Ox Division Champion in history. At March 4th, I went out there, beat one delusional punk leading a gang of misfits, an educator who was taught a lesson himself... and of course, that conniving little liar Cassinova! Yeah, you know... I'll admit, you caught me off guard, I didn't expect that. But you see... I knew you'd try something to dethrone me. Try to get the belt on someone you can beat. But you see Cassinova, in the back of my mind, among those wonderful thoughts of that belt, I knew you'd try something. I didn't exactly expect what you did though, so I'll congratulate you there.
The furry slowly unstraps his belt, laying it next to him, patting it like one would some kind of pet, as he rubs his cracked beak.
Crauswell: But it's just like I said. NOBODY CAN BEAT ME!!! At least not without trying to trick me... and you still couldn't get it done then. I remain triumphant as the EWT Ox Division King, alpha male of the division, and each and every one of you furry bashers can't do a damn thing about. Spyke Johanson learned this the hard way and now he's so depressing, you'd think I beat the soul right out of him. And in case you're wondering if any of you get a rematch anytime soon, the answer is NO! I proved myself by outlasting you all, including those of you who like to weasel their way in, so I have nothing left to prove. So Cassinova, since you couldn't wait to get your shot at the belt, you and I are done! That's it... you can go back to Hollywood or wherever you want for all I care. But you will not be getting your hands on this title. Not as long as I stand and breath!
Crauswell grabs it by the strap, now clutching it to his chest tightly, glaring at the screen, growing more passionate in his speech.
Crauswell: THIS TITLE BELONGS AROUND MY WAIST AND FROM THERE IT SHALL HANG... NOW AND FOREVER!!! I WILL CONTINUE TO DOMINATE THE OX DIVISION AND THERE'S NOT A DAMN PERSON IN THAT LOCKER-ROOM THAT CAN EVER DETHRONE ME!!! AND IF ANY OF YOU THINK OTHERWISE, YOU WILL MOST CERTAINLY BE DEVOURED!!!
The furry starts sweating as he makes this exclamation, wrapping his hands a plush neck and ripping the stuffed coon head right off his plush seat in his anger. He looks down, mood quickly changing.
Crauswell: Ah damn it... that was a rare little guy too...
Fade to next segment.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2007 23:20:17 GMT -5
*The camera fading into TJT's locker room; Thunder, Jupiter and Terina sitting on their sofa, in what is in the middle of a match celebration. Thunder and Jupiter have gone through two bottles of champagne already.*
Thunder: Howsabout a nudder drink for my budddyyyyyy.....
*Pops open third bottle of champagne.*
Jupiter: Gimmee thaaat, Jieieeieim...
*Grabs his glass and bottle, pouring it full again. He takes a sip.*
Jupiter: That right thare Jim, that iz theh sheit!
Thunder: Daaaaaamn straight, Jaaason. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn straight.
*Thunder grabs the bottle back and drinks the beverage straight out.*
Terina: Well, Jimmy and Jason are happy enough that they didn't cost me the match. But they did a good job. Couldn't have done it without them.
Jupiter: Speeeeaking of "done," when have you gotten nailed by eeeither one of usss?
Terina: Never. You know why.
Thunder: Soooorrrrrrrryyyyy, I em drunk. Filll me iiiinnnnn!
Terina: Because, I'm not going to look like a filthy slut. One girl with two men. Heh. Not like some of those people you see in "another promotion." They can't seem to look good but stay clean. Dirty little bitches.
Jupiter: Yeeaaaaaaaaah but, haaave you eeeever gotten hit before? Cause you knoooooow I'd hit it! Hahahahaha. You know I would.
Terina: Not this shit again. Fine. You wanna know? For the millionth time? I haven't actually. I'm saving it for one of you two. Whoever...impresses me the most when the urge can't wait anymore.
Thunder: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Say it again!
Terina: No.
Jupiter: Aaaalright, how about we discuss our match? We cleaned 'em up in our first big EWT maaaaaatch. One by one by one. And the ref counted. With the one, two, three--
Thunder: Four, five, six, seven--
Jupiter: Eight, nine, ten, eleven--
Terina: I should get you two to your beds. You're wasted.
Thunder: To bed?! I liiiike where dis iz goin'!
Jupiter: That waaas graaaaaaet when I low bloooowed Redface.
Thunder: Yer gay.
Jupiter: Whadda f*** you talkin' about?!
Thunder: You know, you liiiiiiiked lowblowing him. That lardo. Hahahahahahaha.
Jupiter: Well we can be happy we're still in one piece after our match. We owned. Specially you, Terina.
Thunder: Yeah babe, youuuu took Ax out perrty damn gooood.
Terina*smiling*: Thanks guys.
Jupiter: Alright, I'm wasted. Les get outta here. We can talk bout dis tomorrow.
Terina: You're right. Get your stuff get ready, etc. We need to end this now. Alright camera boy. Remember to be reasy in the next few days. We'll call you when we're ready for a more....formal....interview.
Thunder: Yous both right. I caaaaaaall shotgun!
*Terina helps the two to their feet, holding both up as she escorts them out the door with their stuff, locking it, as the camera fades away into our next segment.*
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Post by Hulkshi Tanahashi on Mar 4, 2007 23:26:48 GMT -5
*Scene opens on a comedy club. There's a lot of stuff on the walls, like guitars and baseball bats. An mc comes out, grabs the microphone, and starts talking.* MC: Okay, now lets give a big welcome to our next comedian: "The Comedian" Bobby Riggs. Comedian: Thank you. Thank you. Hi, I'm Bobby Riggs. I just flew in and BOY, are my arms tired. *There are a few chuckles. One guy coughs. Another begins to heckle the Comedian.* Heckler: WOW! That's original! Comedian: Yeah, it is. ANYWAY, I did fly into L.A., and all throughout the flight the pilot keeps telling us what he's doing, like we give a crap! What is up with that? I mean... Heckler, interrupting the Comedian: It's regulation. Comedian, turning to heckler: What? Heckler: I believe it's regulation, or else they wouldn't do it. Comedian, sarcastically: Well, thank you for ruining that joke! Heckler: It didn't need my help. *Audience laughs.* Comedian: Anyway, I saw this woman on the flight, and she was HOT. Also, she was a mother nursing her baby. And, everytime this baby cries, she pops out her boob and feeds it. So, now I'm doing everything to make this baby cry. *Audience laughs except for the heckler.* Heckler: So, you're a pervert who gets his jollies off of a woman feeding her child. Comedian: Hey man! What's your problem!? Heckler: You! You suck! Comedian: Really, how would you know? You been interrupting me and haven't let me get to the root of my act. How could you possibly know I suck. *As he's talking, the Comedian sneakily takes a baseball bat off the wall. No one notices as he hides it behind his leg.* Heckler: Because I know what's funny and what's not. And, you aren't funny. You blow. Comedian: You just said I suck. Heckler: You break the laws of physics by sucking and blowing at the same time. *Audience laughs loudly.* Comedian: You know, I gotta admit: that's pretty funny. I suppose you could do better. Heckler: Hell yeah! Comedian: Well, why don't you come up here and do so!? Heckler: Alright, I will! *The heckler gets up and walks up to the stage. The Comedian hands him the microphone.* Comedian: Alright, get to it. And, before you begin, I want to give you the common phrase used to wish people in showbusiness good luck. BREAK A LEG! *As he says this, the Comedian lifts the baseball and hits the heckler's left leg with all his strength. The heckler falls down in pain and starts screaming. The Comedian hits on the leg again. There's a cracking sound, indicating that the hecklers leg has been broken. A bouncer rush towards the stage, but the Comedian sees him and jumps onto him, taking him down and crashing through a table. The Comedian proceeds to pound his fist into the bouncers face. Two people in the crowd rush to the Comedian and pull him off of the bouncer, but the Comedian hits one with a glass full of beer, breaking it on his head and busting him open, and kicks the other one in the crotch. The Comedian gives that audience member a brainbuster onto the floor. Another guy rushes the Comedian, but he kicks the guy in the gut and throws him into a jukebox. As all this goes on, a woman has been screaming at the top her lungs.* The Comedian, to the screaming woman: SHUT UP!!!! *The Comedian grabs the screaming woman and throws her over the bar. She hits the shelves of glasses and falls hard onto the floor.* The Comedian, looking over that damage he has caused: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *The Comedian begins to leave but is stopped by the MC.* MC: What the hell is wrong!? The Comedian: Didn't you like my act!? I KILLED out there! I mean, I really SLAYED them! It was a regular LAUGH RIOT! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! MC: That was your act!? Beat the sh*t out of the audience! The Comedian: Yeah, what do you think!? MC: You're insane! The Comedian: AM I, REALLY!!!!? MC: YES, YOU ARE!!!! The Comedian: Well, then I'll take my money and leave. MC: You're not getting paid for this! The Comedian, getting into the MC's face: You better pay me, goddammit! MC, getting into the Comedian's face: Or what!? The Comedian: I'm gonna cut you so bad that you're gonna wish I didn't cut you so bad! MC: That's it! I'm calling the cops. *The MC grabs a phone and starts dialing. He puts the empty hand onto the entrance the bar. The Comedian takes the little bar opening and slams it onto the MC's hands 6 time, breaking his hand. The MC screams loudly and falls to his knees. The Comedian takes the MC's wallet and steal all the cash, about $400. He then throws the wallet onto the floor and begins to leave.* The Comedian: NOW, THAT'S COMEDY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Coming Soon To EWT.
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Post by "The Cure" Matthew Clark on Mar 4, 2007 23:39:44 GMT -5
Fade in on Chris Evans after March 4. Blood drips down his forehead as Melissa Cameron tends to him.
Evans: Don't bother babe, I kinda like this blood dripping down my head feeling. Now, TRIK TURNER!! You want to know why I attacked you after the match? Because I CAN you idiot. Anything I can do, I will do. And I don't care what anyone besides Melissa and the other girls think. Because for too long, I was overlooked. I was looked past as others took opportunities meant for me. No longer. It starts with the Wrestling Savior. It will end, with my personal nirvana. Let's go babe.
Evans gets up, wincing at the pain, as Melissa helps him to his locker room.
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Mar 5, 2007 0:32:16 GMT -5
As the fans start to leave the arena following March 4, "Believe Me" by Fort Minor begins to play as Mike Corral, holding the GWE Heavyweight Title, and Chad Michaels, with Melina on his arm, make their way to the ring. Chad slides into the ring, then slides out to the other side before going over to the announcers table. Chad looks around for a bit before grabbing the item he came for: Mike Ragnsal's custom made Tri-State Title. Chad just smiles a bit before draping it over his shoulder as he rejoins Mike and Melina before the three of them walk to the back without saying a word.
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Mar 5, 2007 9:16:52 GMT -5
*"No Quarter" by Led Zeppelin plays as the crowd stands on their feet to boo at the members of the Cidal Squad, the "Insecticidal" Andy Duke and "Sinnercidal" Johnathan Doe, walk out from behind the curtain. As they walk down the ramp, they just miss getting hit by a hot dog, and Doe heads over to the fan that threw it at them. Duke does his best to hold Doe back, and tries to calm him down before they head to the ring.*
JR: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Fallout edition of Monday Night Yawn. I'm Jim Ross, and as always with me is Joey Styles.
JOEY: Thank you Jim, and I gotta say, the world was shocked last night when they saw not only Team Ireland retain their Tag Team Championships, but also NEW champions in the Tri-State and World Champions.
JR: Right you are, Joey, but last night we also had our fair share of surprises, which is what these two men plan to talk about right now. And after what happened last night, I can say I was shocked and appalled by what events took place!
JOEY: Now look, Jim, I'm pretty sure there's a reasonable explanation for this. Just let them explain.
*We go back to inside the ring, where Andy Duke has a mic in hand. As the fans continue to diss the Squad, Duke puts the mic to his mouth, and begins to speak.*
DUKE: Ladies and gentlemen, and all people of this world called a "society", it gives me the great privilege of introducing to you, our NEWEST Squad Member...
*Before Duke can utter the name, the crowd is already on their feet, chanting for the new member to f*** himself.*
DUKE: That's right, egg on him all you want, but he is now one of us! EWT...we introduce to you...the former Master of Elemental Disaster...MIKE RAGNAL!
*In a snap, some techno sounding music plays, along with footsteps marching. Piano keys start to play, and four bars after that, what sounds like "High Voltage" by Linkin Park plays, but with a much darker tone. Indeed, it's "High Voltage (Footsoldier Remix)". As the voice of Mike Shinoda raps the first verse, out comes what looks like Mike Ragnal...except different. Gone are the red hat and shirt, which are replaced by black. The lightning bolt is still on the shirt, only covered up with a shattered red "R". His green pants are now gray, and a red lightning bolt is now painted on his left eye. He walks down the ramp, the crowd egging him on big time. When he gets down to the ring, he rolls in, and gets to his feet raising a single bird high for all to see. Duke, a big smile on his face, hands the mic to Ragnal.*
MIKE: Thank you, Duke. Not just for this big introduction, but for the appreciation you and Doe have shown me.
*Mike looks out to the crowd with a sneer on his face.*
MIKE: Unlike the peons who only believe they did.
*Aaaaand more egging.*
MIKE: I mean every last word I said! You people never truly showed your appreciation towards me! Sure, you buy my shirts, watch my matches, talk about them over the message boards...but did you ever once decide to THANK ME for my efforts?!
NO! You thanked Joe, you thanked Linda...and where are they now? Gone. Not here. Linda's started wrestling for an all women fed, and Joe's off sharing his "FUN" with a global coalition. And look how well THEY'RE doing!
MIKE: Me? I just lost to one of the best wrestlers EWT will ever see, and even though it was a female, I had no problem with the loss. But what did I get after everything was said and done. Sympathy. Sympathy because I lost to a being of the opposite sex.
*He turns to the camera.*
Let me just get this through your heads.
I
DON'T.
NEED.
SYMPATHY!!!!!
*More boos.*
MIKE: But these two? Long before last night, they would walk up to me and tell me, "Hey, great match, Mike! You still did well even though Oceanic made you tap!" Or even, "Yo, Mike, awesome moves! Can you show us that?" That's the kind of thing I like. These guys APPRECIATE ME.
Now, I could have just gone out there, challenged what's his face and became EWT Champion...but instead, I'm going to play mentor to the Squad. Teach them the ropes. Show them how to make it to the top.
"Insecticidal" Andy Duke!
"Sinnercidal" Johnathan Doe!
And now..."Elementalcidal"...Mike. Ragnal.
*Mike, still looking at the camera, passes off the mic to Duke.*
DUKE: This, from here to the end of time, is the Cidal Squad.
Hijack. Kill. RULE!
*With that, Duke throws the mic down, and the crowd keeps booing them on, once more telling Mike to f*** himself, as all three members of the Cidal Squad raise one another's arm high. After this, we fade to the next segment.*
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Post by raftshack on Mar 5, 2007 11:48:34 GMT -5
The classic British Bulldog theme starts up first, as Davey Boy and Dynamite head down to the ring, luckily that bitch of theirs is nowhere in sight, so the crowd gives them a much better response than usual.
Announcer: The following contest is a tag team match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from England, at a combined weight of 488 pounds, Davey Boy Smith and Dynamite Kid... the British Bulldogs!
The two head down, getting into the ring and waving to the crowd and all, then pacing about the ring, getting ready now. As soon as they do, the lights completely lower to pitch black, an odd video starting to play on the Toomitron, mainly just a bunch of rainbow colors, as a giant yellow raft blows up, before a massive shack drops down atop of it, as Mooninites" by Schoolly D starts up, a spotlight now circling the crowd as lasers start shooting everywhere, the light seeming to be trying to spot the next team to enter. Finally... in a puff of Purple Smoke, two lumps pop up in the ring, covered in a massive black towel... with another puff of smoke, the towel is gone, as Raft Shack are standing there, both men walking around the ring, back wards, shaking their fists at the crowd for no reason, who still cheer these guys.
Announcer: And making their EWT Debut, from Foreign Alien Island, at a combined weight of 399 pounds, Zeleke and Faboon, Team Raft-Shack!
The Bulldogs are completely dumbstruck, as they stare at these guys, Faboon staring back as he lowers his librarian style glasses, Zeleke removing his own heart ones. The two also remove their t-shirts, each saying My other T-Shirt is a Hat, as they toss them into the crowd, Faboon dropping on all fours, as he trots out to the ring apron, Dynamite just shaking his head as he chooses to start off.
The bell sounds as Dynamite calls for a lock up. Zeleke struts on over, nodding, grabbing a hand and twirling Dynamite, starting to dance with him for no reason. Dynamite quickly pulls away, delivering a nasty knife edge chop to the chest in reply. Zeleke goes back, as Dynamite unleashes more and more of these, backing him up and whipping him off the ropes, leaping up for a Dropkick. Zeleke however cartwheels out of the way mid run, cackling a bit, as Dynamite is back up, charging and hitting a running dropkick of his own, taking Dynamite down! He follows up with a Spiral Leg Drop across the throat, back to his feet, pulling Dynamite up with him, hitting some swift kicks to the chest, when whipping him off himself, catching him as he comes back with an Arm Drag. Dynamite is back up, Zeleke hitting a second one, then running at a rising Dynamite again, hitting a spinning wheel kick to the face! He's so happy after doing so, he does some kind of frantic stepping, running over to Faboon... letting a loud YEAH, before Fab tags himself in by smacking Zeleke in the face, himself entering the ring. Zeleke nods, dropping down, grabbing and launching his tag partner with a Monkey Flip, as he hits a rising Dynamite with a Flying Splash! Dynamite stumbles back, clutching his chest, as Fab runs over, hitting a knee to the chest, then delivering a modified Lungblower, a Stomachblower if you will, Dynamite gasping a bit as Fab rolls to his feet, going into a Handstand, then falling forward, Dynamite however rolling out of the way quickly of this odd move, Fab however sensing this, switching into a Crabwalk instead, then getting back to his feet, as Dynamite runs over, tagging in Davey Boy. He immediately runs in, charging at Fab, who drops back into a Crabwalk, avoiding, then wrapping his legs around Davey's neck, taking him down with a Spinning Headlock Takedown! Davey looks annoyed, rising back up, as Fab jogs over, tagging in Zeleke, grabbing him and flinging him right into Smith, as Zeleke goes ouch, hunched and clutching his head, which connects with Davey's breadbasket. Fab then runs off his partner's back, snapping off a Hurracanrana! Zel is up again, just in time to dive for a cover. 1....2 Davey Boy kicks out.
Zel springs up, nodding down at at Davey, then hitting a dropkick to the ribs as he sits up! Davey groans, clutching the area as Zeleke runs over, hopping atop the ropes, then off for a Moonsault! Davey however rolls out of the way, as Zel hits the mat, clutching his chest. Smith is back up, dropping an elbow into the spine of Zel, as he pulls him up, hitting a Delayed Suplex to follow up, then walking over, tagging in Dynamite. Dynamite lifting him up and following with a Snap Suplex of his own. Zeleke groans, clutching slightly at the back, as the two nod, pulling him up, as Davey hits a back breaker, Dynamite holding him still and driving a jumping knee right into Zeleke's skull! Faboon for some reason laughs at his partner's plight, as Dynamite makes the cover. 1....2.... Zeleke kicks out.
Dynamite hmmmms, shoving him into the corner, tagging Davey back in, the two unleashing some fists as they trap him in the corner, then whipping him to the other side, Zeleke however springing up top, then jumping back behind, catching Davey with a flying Cross body! The cover. 1....2.... Dynamite of course breaks it. Zeleke rises up, striking a Karate pose, kicking the air, then letting out some kind of yell. Dynamite just watches, as does his partner, the two grabbing him and hitting a double headbutt to his skull, sending him staggering back. Zeleke does his best Hulk up, pointing and yelling you... then falling flat on his back. Davey makes another cover. 1....2.... again Zeleke kicks out. The two look down, Davey pulling Zeleke up to his feet, then hoisting him up, looking for the Powerslam. Zeleke however maneuvers out in mid move, dropping behind and hitting a jumping neck breaker, kicking Dynamite down at the same time! Zel immediately starts crawling towards his tag partner, as Davey struggles to get back up. He dives in, making the tag, as Fab hops over the top rope, charging! He hits Dynamite with a Hurricane style Clothesline, taking him down, rolling to his feet and following up with a Spinning Heel Kick to Davey, staggering him, as he runs over, hitting an Implant DDT! He gets back up, as Dynamite rises, catching him with a Jumping Enziguri! Dynamite goes back down, as Faboon gives a thumbs up, running over and tagging Zeleke back in. The two circling Davey, then giving him a taste of Foot Frenzy, each kick connecting, taking him down! Zeleke goes for the cover. 1....2....
NO! Davey Boy kicks out, sending Zeleke flying. Faboon positions himself, sneaking behind Davey, as Zeleke takes care of Dynamite, delivering a Flipping Leg Drop across his neck, as Fab grabs and plants him with the Big Ostrich Balloon Blaster! Davey groans, flat on the mat, as Zel nods, tugging Dynamite up, snapping off his Dizzy Spinneroo Driver, spiking the kid right into the mat, as both men cover, flashing each other a big grin. 1....2....
3!
It's over... Raft Shack wins their first official match.
Announcer: Here are your winners... Team Raft Shack!
Team Raft Shack hop up off the mat and hug in celebration... then headbutt each other right in the face, as the crowd cheers for these crazy guys, Fab and Zel quickly moonwalking their way out of the ring, as the Bulldogs manage to regain their consciousness, looking at each other in total... bewilderment at who just beat them. The lights lower again, as in another puff of smoke, Raft Shack has vanished from the ring again.
We immediately cut to the next segment.
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Mar 5, 2007 14:28:26 GMT -5
(Outside the hotel are several wrestlers waiting for the bus to arrive to take them all to the arena for this week's remaining matches. At the front are The Daryl Dragon and PsyToni Tennille. From the back hobbles King Ultimo, who's looking worse for wear. His head is bandaged up with his crown cockeyed sitting on top, his ribs are bandaged up and some blood is soaking through, and is sporting a honey of a black eye. He is visibly limping and wincing with each step and finally lets out a huge groan as he sets his luggage down. He looks over at Daryl, who only has one comically over sized bandage on his sailor hat, and shakes his head.
UC: "Daryl. You look like hell."
(Daryl gives UC a weird look then faces forward again.)
UC: "Ok, so we had the chance to win three different title belts and came out goose eggs. But you know what? I'm proud of us! That's right! We did a damn good job last night! We fought three, count 'em, three hard as *BEEP!* matches and came out looking spiffy! Think about it! How many of these other cream puffs could do even half of what we did? Zero, me hearties! That's how many! Ok, so I'll be picking Plexiglas out of my butt from now till Doomsday! Sure, Daryl got bonked on the head when he was gathering steam! Fine, Billy got the best of me..............AGAIN! But in the long run people won't be talking about that. They'll be saying, "Wow! Ultimo Dragon have balls made of concrete! I wish I did!" You see, we proved why we should be the front runners for any and all the belts this fed has to offer! That's nothing to sneeze at! Even better, I threw a midget off the roof! Eh? Eh? That's some serious *BEEP!* And that's what we, The Ultimo Dragon, are! A triple threat of go go kids with big ol' hearts and nothing to lose! The stuff that 80's John Cusack movies are made of! Don't be surprised if Hollywood calls and asks us for the rights to this story for that very purpose! Of course they'd have to change the ending so that we won the *BEEP!*ing things and Cusack's looking kind of ragged these days........(thinks for a second).......................who do you think would play me?"
(UC turns to Tennille, who wasn't listening since she's pretty upset. She's got her arms crossed and is rapidly tapping her foot while grumbling under her breath. UC takes notice and does his best to console her...)
UC: "What's got your panties in a wad?"
(At least he tried.)
Tennille: "I'm so mad at Mike Ragnal! Do you know what he did!?"
UC: "Yeah, I was there."
Tennille: "Daryl was doing just fine in that OX Division.......Guantlet...........(gets frustrated)...........thingy! Daryl could have won that fair and square! But NOOOOO!!! Mike Ragnal has to go and ruin everything! Why is it whenever we get a chance people have to come and ruin for us?"
UC: "Because we're Super Rad and they aren't. They fear us because they know we're the best things going."
Tennille: "That's just..........oooohh.....I'm so mad............that Mike Ragnal............he's just a........................a......................HE'S JUST A MEAN OLD STINKER PANTS!"
(Everyone at the bus stop lets out a huge collective gasp as this is the strongest language that Tennille has ever used. Everyone is shocked by the display. After several moments of tension Tennille huffs.)
Tennille: "I'm just so gosh darn mad right now................shoot! If anyone needs me I'll be at the bar! I need a ginger ale!"
(Tennille turns and heads back to the hotel. The array of wrestlers outside part like the Red Sea as she stomps into the front door. UC and Dragon watch her storm into the bar then face front again.)
UC: "Damn, she's pissed! I've never seen her that worked up! Has she ever gone off like that before?"
(Daryl nods)
UC: "Really? What happened?"
Daryl: "What do you get when you make a derby from remnant's of other derbies? Frankenstein's Hat!"
(The two share a knowing nod.)
UC: "In that case let's give her a wide berth. I'm tore up enough already."
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Post by Rick Raskall on Mar 5, 2007 15:26:10 GMT -5
Lean Gene Cummerbund is standing by with Raskall and Trunk. They are wearing bandages to cover their wounds, and are looking less than amicable.
Lean Gene: Rick Raskall, Marcus Trunk, you suffered a devastating loss last night in the Elimination Chamber. You were moments away from winning the EWT Tag Team Championships, but it all managed to slip away at the last moment. Comments?
Raskall: Last night was the best chance we've ever had at winning those titles. And yet again, somehow, we managed to fall short. And this time, I feel like that was our last chance ever at those titles, and now it's over. So last night, I went to my hotel room, tore down the decorations, got rid of the party girls and the champagne and everything that was supposed to help us celebrate our big win, and I sat in my room, by myself, and did some soul searching. I sat there for hours, wondering what went wrong. What's our problem? What is keeping us from at long last achieving that final goal?
And then, at about 4:30 am last night, I had a revelation. The reason that those title belts aren't around our waists. The one thing that has been holding us back...
Then, surprisingly, he turns to Trunk.
Raskall: ...is you.
Suddenly, Trunk's eyes open wide.
Trunk: Me?
Raskall: Yeah, you. I finally figured it out. You're the reason that we've never won those belts. Let me give you a little history lesson:
Escalator to Heaven. Had that match won, didn't we? Could've just climbed that big ol' escalator and grabbed the belts. But no, somebody decides to show off and powerbomb Sean McCann off the escalator. And what happened? Sean grabs the belts and we lose. My fault? No! Marcus Trunk's fault.
Lesson Two: TLC Match. This time, the belts are RIGHT IN YOUR GRASP! And yet, you decide to get distracted and attack Curly and Big. We get laid out, match over. My fault? No! Marcus Trunk's fault!
Lesson The Third: Last night in the Elimination Chamber. Instead of having my back, you go into business for yourself. You decide to run like an idiot into battle, you get your ass kicked, you get eliminated early. And you know what? I REALLY could've used your help when Aidan Donnelly busted my head open with that stick or whatever the hell he uses. Anyway, my fault? No! Marcus Trunk's fault!
You know, I've touted your strength, your durability, your endurance, all of that stuff that I THOUGHT made you a great wrestler. But obviously, having all of the talent in the world doesn't mean jack when you DON'T HAVE A GODDAMN BRAIN IN YOUR HEAD!!
Suddenly, Trunk grabs Raskall by the throat and stares coldly into his eyes.
Trunk: Just what are you trying to say?
Raskall holds his hands up, begging Trunk to let off. Raskall gasps for air, then regains his composure, trying to get the words out.
Raskall: ...okay...okay...*gasp*...what I'm...trying to say...is.....
And out of nowhere, Raskall rears back and delivers a vicious low blow to Trunk, who crumples to his knees. Lean Gene is looking on in terror as Raskall grabs the microphone from him, bashing it into Trunk's head repeatedly until his gashes are re-opened, leaving Trunk a bloody mess on the floor. The crowd is shocked and appalled as they boo Raskall venomously.
Raskall: What I'm trying to say is, I'm tired of being held back by that overgrown empty-headed piece of s**t! From now on, Rick Raskall stands in the shadow of NO MAN!!
Raskall shoves the bloody microphone into Lean Gene's chest, as Lean Gene looks on in bewilderment and anger. He then sees Trunk lying on the floor, in a bad state.
Lean Gene: Help! I've got a man down here! I need an ambulance!
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Post by Oceanic on Mar 5, 2007 16:09:20 GMT -5
In her dressing room Oceanic sits in a chair with the Tri State title draped on her lap. On her TV she watches the segment where Mike Ragnal declares himself the newest member of the Cidal Squad. The segment ends and she turns the TV off, stands up, and addresses the camera.
"We all knew that Mike Ragnal was slowly losing it, that the strain and the pressure of keeping the Tri State title was getting to him. It was only a matter of time before his mind just........"
*snaps fingers*
"But I have to admit, I didn't see THIS coming. Wonders never cease. But I'm not here to talk about Mike's waning sanity, his refusal to try to win the Tri State title back, or those new hooligans he chooses to hang around with. Let's get to the REAL news. Let's talk about your new Tri State Champion, and wouldn't you know it, it's little old me."
She takes the title and holds it around her waist.
"Looks good on me, doesn't it? Of course it does."
She takes the title and places it on a nearby table.
"Now I can already hear the pissing and moaning that's coming from the boys in the back. That it was a fluke win, that I didn't earn it, that I'm being treated different simply because I'm female, that I don't have what it takes to be a lasting champion, blah blah blah. I only have three words for those guys. Get. Over. It. I'm the champion, you're not. If you were so great, you'd be the one holding the title right now. I'm the one who beat Mike Ragnal, who successfully beat a majority of you guys so that should tell you something about him. If you guys were so great, you would have beaten Mike long before I had the chance, but you couldn't. If you don't like the idea of a woman holding a man's title, that's just tough."
"Speaking of tough, my first title defense is against one of the biggest stars the EWT has ever seen. Dorf, I look forward to meeting you. But a word of advice. Don't hold back. I never do."
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Post by Hulkshi Tanahashi on Mar 5, 2007 16:59:07 GMT -5
Joey Styles: Hi, I am Joey Styles, and if you haven't been watching lately, a new wrestler is coming to EWT. His name is "The Comedian" Bobby Riggs, and he has made a name for himself by attacking some people at a comedy club in L.A. He was arrested but was released on a technicality. Mr. Riggs was scheduled to appear on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno tonight, but that episode has been cancelled. Apparently, he attacked Mr. Leno and another guest, Australian actor Russel Crowe. He was arrested but released for unknown reasons. Anyway, EWT has obtained exclusive footage of the attack. Let's show that right now:
*The Tonight Show band plays as the show comes back from commercial.*
Jay Leno: My next guest made headlines by attacking a heckler and some audience members at a comedy club last night. He has now come here to explain his actions. Here is "The Comedian" Bobby Riggs.
*The Comedian comes out to thunderous boos and the band playing Pink Floyd's Brain Damage. He shakes Jay's and Russel Crowe's hands and sits down.*
Leno: Welcome, Mr. Riggs.
Comedian: Thanks, Jay. Call me, Bobby.
Leno: Now, you went beserk in a comedy club last night. What happen?
Comedian: It was the debut of my new act.
Leno, confused: Act!? That was a comedy act!?
Comedian: Yes, it's my new comedy act. I call it "comedic violence." It's violence as comedy. You see, the world has gotten so use to seeing violence that I believe that it is now time for people to laugh at.
Leno: You mean like the Three Stooges? Hitting people with crowbars and poking fingers in their eyes?
Comedian: Well, yeah, sort of like the Three Stooges, but more EXTREME! Did you see what I did last night. I broke a guys leg. I nearly took a man eyes. I threw a guy into a jukebox. I cracked a guy's skull. I threw a woman into hundreds of glasses and gave her cuts all over her body; she nearly bled to death. I gave the performance of a lifetime, and everyone who saw it LAUGHED THEIR ASSES OFF!!!!
Leno, getting into Comedian's face: Well, I got to admit: I saw it, and I didn't find it funny at all. That wasn't comedy; that was assault. And, you don't know comedy at all.
*The crowd applauds.*
Comedian: Jay, Jay, Jay. *puts his hand on the back of Leno's head* You don't NOSE comedy *punches Leno in the nose* like I NOSE comedy!!!! *punches Leno in the nose again, this time breaking it*
Crowe, grabbing the Comedian: Hey, what's wrong with you!!!!?
Comedian: I'm just making the world laugh. Do you want to laugh, GLADIATOR, because I got a real GUTBUSTER!!!!
*Comedian knees Crowe in the gut. Crowe goes down and begins to crawl away. Comedian picks up a small table and throws it onto Crowe. The table breaks, and Crowe slumps to the floor. Comedian picks up Crowe, moves toward the giant video screen, and throws Crowe into it. Comedian then turns to a camera.*
Comedian: Now, I got something to say to the people who work at EWT. Now, I know what you people are thinking: "What the hell does attacking some talk show host and a fake gladiator have to do with wrestling?" Well, I'll tell you...later...when I feel like it. Though, I will tell you this: when I get there, EWT is become a real LAUGH RIOT!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Joey Styles: Well, that was certainly interesting. It makes me wonder why EWT would hire such an unstable man, and just what he has in store for this company. We'll be sure to follow this story as more develops.
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