Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
|
Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Feb 5, 2007 18:22:37 GMT -5
"Nobody's Listening" by Linkin Park hits as Mike Corral comes out, dressed rather odd. He's wearing a coat similar to Christopher Daniels' and has the hood up, covering up his eyes. Mike steps through the ropes with a purpose before grabbing the mike (pun intended).
Mike: Almost a year and a half ago, I showed up here with my good buddy Chad and my then-girlfriend Jessica. We came for a reason: to make an impact, one way or another. Well, Chad did immediately, while it took me putting him through a table to get you fans to notice me. Fast forward a couple of months, and I'm the new OX Division Champion, beating Spaz in one hell of a match. You people, the same people that didn't notice me or couldn't care less if I were to drop dead on TV, you cheered. You cheered for me when I defended the title against all comers, when I rejoined Chad in the old Third Street Warriors. When I was facing Deamon Cohln, you people cheered for me. But then, Koda Kazar won a shot against me. And what happened? You booed me. After Koda attacked me, after he blindsided me, you people had the balls to boo me. And what did I do? Like an idiot, I tried to stay on your good side. I played the good guy, but you rejected me. So I decided to fight fire with fire. I played up to Koda, making him think I was his friend. And then, at the perfect moment, I attacked him and put the boots to him, and again you people booed. At Kingdom of Hurt, Koda and Jester Colt Jackal double teamed me, hitting me with some kind of s*** move that took me down long enough for Koda to get the pin. I was robbed of my title, and you people still booed me. Did I get a rematch for my title? No I did not. I was shunned, I was pushed down the card, and you people could care less. Well, no more. I'm sick and tired of being your puppet, dancing whenever you tell me to do. The Rumble is where I will prove to all of you that I don't need to be your favorite wrestler to be great in this business. And to prove my point.....
Mike drops the mike (more bad puns) and walks to the back. After a few seconds, Mike comes out holding a bloody and unconscious Chris Evans, his shirt caked with blood. Mike tosses Chris into the ring and slides in before grabbing the mike.
Mike: What's this? Chris Evans. The Human Hurricane. Grade-A jackass. One of E-Dubya-Tee's lackeys. Well, let me show you what the old Mike Corral wouldn't have the cajones to do. Maybe then you'll show me some f***ing respect.
Mike slides out of the ring and grabs a chair before coming back. Chris starts to move when Mike smashes him in the head with the chair. Chris slumps back down as Mike drops the chair. Mike picks Chris up and places him on the turnbuckle facing the audience, almost showing the world what he has done. Mike climbs the turnbuckle and hooks his arms, almost in a Pedigree fashion, before leaping off, showing the world 492 Reasons Chris Evans is overrated. Chris' head bounces off the chair as Mike gets up, proud of what he has done. The fans start to shower Mike with boo's as Mike picks Evans up by the hair, wiping the blood off his head and placing it on his chest ala Samoa Joe. Trainers and the EMT's come out to shield Chris from any further damage as Mike walks to the back, chuckling manically.
|
|
|
Post by Banned Member on Feb 6, 2007 0:38:58 GMT -5
Sum Guy: I'm Sum Guy, and I like to lick whip cream off my toes. I'm here with Merc. Merc you are facing Mysth this week your final match before the Pain in The Ass Rumble. Your thoughts on this.
Merc: Well Sum Guy this will be the first time I faced this Mysth guy, and that means he is a stepping stone!
SG: A stepping stone?
Merc: Yes a stepping stone for you see this week it's Mysth, and than it is on to the winning The Royal Pain In The Ass Rumble, and then on to face Maelstrom for the EWT Heavyweight title!!
SG: Merc the winner of the rumble doesn't get a title shot.
*Merc slams Sum Guy up against the wall, and gets nose to nose with him.*
Merc: You don't think I know that!!!! Winning the rumble is all about the respect for this company!! Respect that the these new ones that come along, and think there main eventers after one match don't have!!! Respect that the ones who just up, and left most definitely don't have!!! You see Guy I'm winning that rumble for the fans respect. Because there the only ones that give it to me!! Everyone in this locker room thinks I'm a joke after I was forced to be a slave for over a month!! And what respect did Chance show me? NONE!!!! He walked out of the arena like the coward he is!!! You see Sum Guy I will prove in the rumble why I deserve another shot at the title, and if Toom declines. He will regret it.
*Merc lets go of Sum Guy, and takes the mic, and looks into the camera*
Merc: EWT wrestlers are you ready to bleed? I don't think you are. Are you ready to have your bones broken? I know your not. This Sunday I promise you this I will not show no mercy to anyone that gets in my way, and Mysth your in my line of fire first. So be prepared to not make to the rumble!!!
*Merc throws the mic , and storms off as we fade to black.*
|
|
Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
|
Post by Curly Long on Feb 6, 2007 6:44:32 GMT -5
Backstage and the air is turning blue from the obsenities Curly is shouting at anyone in earshot. Mr. Big is trying to keep a low profile during this which is tricky for a 7ft + 400lbs man.CURLY: Those @# *! mother @ *~ of a thousand %# @#! A nun walks past looking horrifiedCURLY: That's right sister! You heard me! #*c#!!!! Mr. Big has grabbed the latest copy of EWT Magazine and is trying to avoid his boss's glare. It hasn't worked as Curly rips the magazine out of his hands.CURLY: What happened out there? what the hell were you playing at? The Tag titles where in are grasp, yet somehow we still managed to lose to Paddy Power. The four of them are probably sitting in a pub getting tanked up on Guinness now! Mr. BIG: Well ... erm ... they did cheat, boss. Curly has just turned a crimson hue of red that would make a lobster about to go in the pot worriedCURLY: Cheat? CHEAT!! Sum Guy approaches microphone in hand, but Curly doesn't even let him speak as he uppercuts him right in the crown jewels. Sum Guy is very much down and out. Curly turns back to BigCURLY: Why the hell didn't we cheat? We always cheat! Damm it that's how we won those tag titles from the Ragnals in the first place. give me a phone Big. BIG: Who you gonna call? A man with a radio walks pastRADIO: If there's something strange, In your neighborhood, Who you gonna call? CURLY: Not the bloody ghostbusters that's for sure!! Curly lays into the man with the radio, using the phone as a weapon.CURLY: Hate that stupid film ... and now it's broken my bleedin phone!! Son of a B**** Curly throws the phone into the nearest bin. Big looks at it unimpressed as it was his phoneCURLY: Since I now can't contact the IRA to take out Team Ireland. I'll do the next best thing, hell they might even deal with the Ultimate Choker and his dim witted sidekick. BIG: Don't worry about Ultimo, I already have a plan for him jumping us in the ring. CURLY: You have a plan?? BIG: Trust Me. CURLY: Ok, you do what you have to do, I'm going to find and hire the FBI to beat up Team Ireland! Curly walks off looking for a new phone. Mr. Big takes a step back revealing the match board. He grabs a piece of chalk and underlines the name Ultimo Chocula, who has a match with Maelstrom! Mr. Big taps the chalk on Maelstrom's name as if thinking. He then heads off in the direction of the Aquarium.(fade out)
|
|
|
Post by pta on Feb 6, 2007 8:04:18 GMT -5
As we return to commercial, we see Tyreese sitting down in a chair once again, as nearby, he has stacked a number of DVDs and Videos, the man resting an elbow under his chin, the other clutching a remote, as he clicks on the tv, seeing images of the one and only Jeff Jarret. Tyreese gazes over them carefully.
Tyreese: Hmmm... de king of de mountain. Jeff Jarret. My last opponent before I head into dat Royal Pain in De Ass Rumble. I doubt he should give me many problems dough. I'll easily conquer dat country singing bumpin with my wrestling technique.
The camera pans out a bit, showing Principal Pain at his desk, looking back over.
Pain: Hmmm... I don't know. He is a multi time NWA World Heavyweight Champion... of course, I wouldn't say he was worthy of ANY of those times. Not only that, but considering have his move set involves smashing people's skulls with guitars... he
Tyreese immediately turns around, looking pretty pissed off.
Tyreese: HOW IS DAT WRESTLING?! Weapons have no damn use in de world of wrestling. I can't believe that any of those hardcore morons are even employed. Dey all deserve to be fired out of a cannon into de SUN!
Pain: Whoa... calm down my friend. I didn't mean to set you off again. But again, like I said, you are a pure wrestler, more pure than anyone in this entire locker room at that.
Tyreese lets out a heavy sigh, composing himself.
Tyreese: Ah, sorry to go off on you like dat Pain.
Pain: You're not mad at my little stunt with that chair last week are you?
Tyreese: Hey... de bell rang. Da match was over, so who cares? If you want to blast some fool in da noggin before it begins or after it ends, I've not no qualms about it. Just don't expect me to help ya out. I'd rather cut my hands off then use one of dose outside the purpose of sitting down.
Pain nods once again, turning his eyes back to his desk.
Pain: Now, concerning Mutilated and Benz. Those two fools that tried to attack us. I'm aware they are both in the rumble match, whereas you will be representing the both of us. Not that I'm worried, but still... it seems like a difficult situation to be in.
Tyreese says nothing, fast forwarding through and watching a boring WWF era Jarret match, looking unimpressed, getting all the way to the end, ejecting the tape and tossing it into a nearby trashcan.
Tyreese: Trust me Pain... dose two louts won't pose a threat. I'll take dem out in de purest fashion I can.
The tutor leans back in his seat, not even looking down as he kicks all of these apparent Jeff Jarret tapes off to the side hard, breaking a few of them in the process as we fade to the next segment.
|
|
|
Post by Oceanic on Feb 6, 2007 16:29:44 GMT -5
Fink: "This match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Amarillo Texas and weighing in at 247lbs, TERRY FUNK!"
The fans turn and cheer as the hardcore legend walks out from the back, holding his branding iron up above his head. He slaps five with a few fans then rolls under the ropes, and plays to the crowd.
Fink: "And his opponent, from Kauai Hawaii, weighing in at 126lbs, OCEANIC!"
The arena goes dark and blue lights come up on the ramp as "From Sinking" blares over the loudspeaker and Oceanic walks out from the back not looking or acknowledging anyone. She makes her way up the ring steps and stops on the apron to give Funk a good look see, then enters the ring and approaches the Fink.
"You know, it's not very often when you get to face a hard core legend, or at the very least a shell of his former self."
Needless to say, this gets some boos.
"Personally I think that you're a little too broken down to be keep plugging away in the ring, wearing down what little cartilage you have left, but you've never been one to just go away quietly. So let's up the ante a little. Let's make this a hardcore match between you and me. What do you say, grandpa?"
With that Funk winds up and swings at Oceanic's stomach with the branding iron, doubling her over. That means "yes". The match is underway and is officially hardcore rules and Funk has the early advantage. Funk whacks her across the back with his branding iron, which causes her to arch back, and he clotheslines Oceanic down to the mat. Funk drops two elbow drops on Oceanic's chest and leaves the ring. Funk grabs three chairs and tosses 'em into the ring and rolls back in himself. He grabs a chair and goes to crack Oceanic in the head but she suddenly throws a mean fist right into his dick, which causes Funk to hit the deck and convulse. Oceanic regroups and grabs a chair and when Funk raises up she throws it dead in his face. Funk goes back down to the mat and Oceanic jumps on top of him, unloading with a series of elbows to the face, which breaks him open. Oceanic picks Funk up by the hair, hits the ropes, and levels him in the face with a Knee Bazooka. Funk lands on the mat with a good stream of blood oozing down his face as Oceanic rolls outside and looks under the ring. She finds a cable and takes it back into the ring with her, which she uses to strangle Funk in the center of the ring. She lets go to give Funk a couple breaths back only to go back and strangle him again just as hard. She stops and throws the cable away, then stomps on his head a couple times to keep him down, then hits her Lionsault/Double Leg Drop combo and goes for the win.
1............ 2...................
Funk kicks out. Oceanic brings Funk up to his knees and blasts him in his open wound with stiff punches. She stops and sees her fists are covered in blood now, which repulses her, so she wipes her hands off on Funk's t-shirt, then pie faces him down to the mat. She sets Funk up so he's sitting in the corner then grabs a chair. She then gets a running start and dropkicks the chair right into Funk, busting him open even more and sending him slumping down to the mat. Oceanic covers.
1..................... 2......................
Funk kicks out. Oceanic grabs the chair again and drives it right into Funk's kneecaps. Funk lets out a huge yelp and grabs his leg as it appears to be injured. Oceanic stalks him and once again drives the chair right into his knee. Funk grabs his leg and scoots as far as he can away from her. Oceanic throws the chair down and grabs Funk by his bad wheel and drags him out to the center of the ring where she applies a Figure Four and cranks down on it. Funk screams in pain and tries to fight his way out of it but he won't give up. After a minute Oceanic reaches over and grabs a chair and drives it into Funk's stomach while she keeps the Figure Four applied to get Funk to quit, but he won't do it. Oceanic whacks him again with the chair but he still won't give up. Oceanic goes for a third chair shot but this time Funk catches it and there's a tug of war going on for the chair. Funk somehow manages to get the chair and he bashes Oceanic on the head with it. Oceanic falls backwards and releases the hold. She staggers up to her feet and sees Funk has to use the ropes to get to a standing position. Oceanic hits the ropes and comes flying at him but Funk ducks, pulls the rope down, and Oceanic flies out of the ring and crashes on the concrete floor. Even though Jim Ross is screaming "Bah Gawd! Don't do it, Funk!", Funk is exiting the ring and standing on the apron, where he hits Oceanic with an Asai Moonsault that's a bit tilted due to the bad wheel. Funk staggers up and hobbles over to Oceanic and throws her back into the ring.
Funk unloads several stiff rights and lefts on Oceanic then charges and hits a clothesline. Funk picks up a chair and jumps up, hitting Oceanic with a chair drop (like an elbow drop, but with a chair.) Funk then picks her up and hits her with a bull dog, then signals to the crowd that he's going to end it. He unfolds and sets the chair up in the center of the ring and grabs Oceanic, picking her up for a piledriver. He waddles over to the chair and is ready for the drop but suddenly Oceanic uses her legs to kick Funk in his bloody face. She does this five times until Funk drops her and falls backwards himself. Funk grabs one of the other chairs and walks over to Oceanic. He rears back and is about to finish her off when suddenly Oceanic spits the blue mist right in his eyes! Funk drops the chair and staggers around blind, the red from the blood now covered up by blue. Oceanic wastes no time and grabs him from behind and gives him a half nelson suplex right into the standing chair. Funk hits the deck and is totally laid out as the chair he hit crumbles and bends in a bizarre art deco shape. Oceanic quickly climbs up to the top rope and leaps off, crushing Funk with a Superfly Splash. She hooks the leg but doesn't really need to.
1................. 2............... 3!
Fink: "Here is your winner...................OCEANIC!"
Oceanic slowly rises up and the referee goes to raise her arm but she pulls it away and sneers at him. She looks over Funk's downed body, shakes her head, exits the ring, and simply walks back to the locker room like nothing had really happened while the fans loudly boo their disapproval.
|
|
|
Post by Rick Raskall on Feb 6, 2007 16:44:34 GMT -5
Lord Alfred Hayes: Hello ladies and gentlemen, I'm Lord Alfred Hayes. Welcome to the following EWT Video exclusive tag team match, between Raskall and Trunk and the evil Quebecers. Rick Raskall and Marcus Trunk have had their hands full in the past month, dealing with such formidable tag teams as Team Ireland, Midget King and Company, and Ultimo/Dragon. This match, emanating from the EWT Arena, took place only weeks before the Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble, and it proved to be a true test of their mettle. We join the match, already in progress.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jacques Rougeau has Rick Raskall in an arm lock as we join the match.
Vince McMahon: And Rick Raskall finds himself in quite a predicament here, King.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: It's all over, McMahon! Raskall's gonna submit!
Vince: I'd like to believe that Rick Raskall has more resolve than that, King.
Raskall begins to power out of the arm lock, but Jacques pushes him back down to the mat. Raskall instead kips up and counters the arm lock, wrenching Jacques' arm. He holds on to the arm as he climbs up the turnbuckle.
Vince: What is Rick Raskall going for here?
Raskall performs the Walk of Fame, hitting the hurricanrana!
Vince: Ohhhh whattamaneuver! Both men are down!
King: Get up, Jacques!
Raskall makes the hot tag to Trunk as Jacques tags in Pierre Oulette. Trunk drops Pierre with a clothesline, then clotheslines Jacques, then Pierre again. Then he presses Jacques over his head and tosses him out of the ring.
Vince: Jacques Rougeau going for the ride!
Trunk picks up Pierre and whips him to the ropes, then drops him with the Trunk Buster. He then tags in Raskall, who goes to the top rope and delivers the Raskall House Special.
1...2...3!
Mike McLouth: Here are your winners...Raskall and Trunk!
Vince: An impressive win over the former WWF Tag Team Champions by Raskall and Trunk! They should look to take that momentum into the Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lord Alfred Hayes: Thank you for joining us for this EWT Video exclusive. See you next time.
|
|
|
Post by "American Cream" Dusty Loads on Feb 6, 2007 18:55:58 GMT -5
*The camera pans through the packed arena then makes it way to the ring where we see Howard Finkel in the ring* Fink: The following match is scheduled for one fall. In the ring, from The Boiler Room, weighing in at 287 pounds, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANKIIIIIIIIND www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEAk5JBnBQ0*at 33 seconds Joey Riot makes his way out with Julie by his side. He holds his arms out as if he were parting the Dead Sea. He starts to make his way down the ramp and stops half way to light a cigarette, this gives him instant heat with the crowd as the entire arena starts booing him* Fink: Making his way to the ring, from Queens, New York, weighing in a 225 pounds: Rock 'N' Roll JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY RIIIIIIOOOOOOOOT!! *Riot is standing on the ring apron as he sits on the second rope to let Julie into the ring. He enters the ring and gets up on the top rope again spreading his arms. His music stops and he's ready to start the match. The ref scolds him and tells him to put his cigarette out. Joey reluctantly obliges and starts to laugh at Mankind.* The bell sounds and Mankind challenges Joey to the test of strength. Joey slowly starts to lock in one hand then quickly pulls away. He goes back into the corner and stretches. The crowd boos. He flips off the crowd and locks in one hand with Mankind again. He slowly moves his left hand to lock it in Mankinds left but instead opts for an eye poke. Mankind backs away rubbing the hurt eyes. The ref tries to repromand Joey but he pays no mind and runs up to Mankind and lands a stiff kick to Mankinds left leg and he goes down. Hemounts him for a few punches* 1 2 3 4 *The ref pulls Joey off and Joey yells saying he's got till five. Joey then locks in a seated Abdominal Stretch. He starts screaming for Mankind to tap. The crowd quickly getsbehind Mankind and he starts to power out only to be backraked by Joey. The camera then zooms in on Joey's fingers and we see how untrimmed they are. He starts to chuckle as we see Mankind is bleeding from his back. Then while Mankind is writhing in pain. Joey then hits the top rope, only to drop down and lights up his cigarette, a massive wave of boos come from the crowd. The ref starts yelling for him to put it out and Joey pretends to flick it as Julie gets on the apron and starts arguing with the ref. Joey then proceeds to punch Mankind in the forehead with his cigarette in between his fingers. Joey just barely tosses the cigarette when the ref turns back around. Mankind slowly gets back up and quickly dodges a Lariat by Joey. Joey flies back at Mankind who goes to hit him with a clotheline which Joey ducks. As Mankind turns around Joey throws him a Rock 'N' Roll stunner. As the recoil knocks Mankind back into the standing position Joey "Hits the Lights" and lands the superkick right at the bridge of Mankind's nose. Mankind drops motionless to the floor as Joey goes for the cover* 1 2 3 *The bell rings* Fink: Your winner by pinfall. Jooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Riiiiiioooooooooooooooooot. *Julie comes into the ring and Joey and her celebrate. He starts screamin as if he won the World Title. He then grabs the mic* "DID I NOT SAY I WAS GONNA PUT THE WRESTLING BUSINESS ON ITS ASS. MANKINDS ONLY THE FIRST DOWN. I'VE STILL GOT MORE LOSER LINED UP TILL I'M AT THE TOP....*grins* see ya next week. *cuts to commercial.
|
|
Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
|
Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Feb 7, 2007 5:57:08 GMT -5
*As the camera fades back from commercial and is showing the crowd, a familiar theme blares over the speakers.* * “Young, Dumb, & Ugly” by Weird Al begins to play * *Jobby immediately runs out of the EWT curtains, fully pumped as the crowd cheers him. He pumps both arms to everyone and runs from the right side to the left of the stage pointing to crowd members.* JBL: Because of recent loses of the *contempt with saying the name* Wrestle...Posse, the future of EWT has been forced to curtain jerk the show and now he has to enter first. It's a damn shame. Cole: I agree, Jobby has got a great future. JBL: NOT JOBBY, YOU SIMPLETON! "The Icon" Axel Halaway! Cole: John, there's more than one on the team. JBL: And only one that is worth a damn. At least Axel has won a match. *At the 0:28 mark, he runs back in the middle of the ramp and at the 0:32 mark. Axel Halaway steps from out of the curtains, to less of an reaction then Jobby, still with the bandage above his left eye. Jobby leans in and thrusts his hand out dramatically. Axel stares at Jobby's hand, from behind his trademark shades. He briefly sighs, lets out a slight grin.* Chimel: From Jobstown, NJ & Modesto, CA respectively... Weighting in at 498... "The Wrestle Posse"! Tenacious J! *Axel leans in as well and grabs Jobby's hand, then points at Jobby.* Chimel: And A! *Jobby really hams it up with a gives a cheesy grin and gives a Hurricane-esque thumbs up.* JBL: How does The Icon put up with such an idiot? Cole: I think they are really good friends, John. Like kinda like the relationship we have. JBL: For starters, I don't have any nor do I want a "relationship" with you. Second, we aren't friends. I am rich and refined, you aren't. Cole: Then why do you hang out at bars with me after the show? JBL: Because you buy the drinks. *Axel walks down the ramp, arms wide open as if to say "I'm a living legend", but he stops in his tracks when Jobby knocks his right arm down. Axel remains in place as he stares at Jobby running around him twice then runs side to side to high five crowd members. Finally, Axel reaches the ring, climbs the steps, enters the ring, and stands on the turnbuckle to bask in cheers. However, all eyes are on Jobby as he circles the ring doing a hyper version of the Neutron dance. After his trademark wave off from the ropes, Axel steps down to the canvas and takes off his jacket to hand off. Jobby rolls into the ring as Axel reaches for his shades and obnoxiously motions for the crowd to watch Axel. "The Icon" stops to look at Jobby, pauses, gives a slight grin, then slowly reaches and takes off his glasses to show his brown eyes. After a bit of fanfare, he passes his shades off the attendant and starts leaning against the ropes. While Jobby looks ready for the entrance of their opponents. The music fades to silence.* Chimel: And their opponents... * The Highlanders' music begins to play * *After the initial cheer, Rory and Robbie step out from the EWT curtain. They raise their arms, then go to their corresponding sides of the stage to acknowledge the audience. Then they meet back at the center and begin to walk down the ramp.* Chimel: From Oban, Scotland... Weighting in at 34 Stone... Rory and Robbie McAllister, the Highlanders! *After a few beard strokes, they run to the ring and pull themselves to the apron. Robbie enters the ring, while Rory stays on the apron, and they both walk to the right turnbuckle. Rory climbs to the top rope from the outside and Robbie leans against the same turnbuckle stroking his beard while Rory rests his hand on his cousin's head. The music ends.* JBL: These guys are so out of it, they have to be related to Jobby! Cole: What do you mean John? JBL: Nobody in Scotland actually dresses like that anymore! Cole: Maybe their just are showing their national pride, like Jobby shows his pride and love with all things from the 80s. JBL: If there's is anything prideful from Jobby McJobberston, then I'm a Democrat. Cole: Oh come on! *The four wrestlers meet face to face in the center of the ring, Axel/Rory and Jobby/Robbie. Axel and Rory look to start the match before the bell but both stop as they hear...* Robbie: I'm ROBBIE! Jobby: I'm JOBBY! JBL: I rest my case. *And see their partners shaking the hand of one of their opponents. Rory then offers his hand.* Rory: I'm RORY! *Axel glances down at the offered hand and back to Rory's face. He ponders if he should carry out an attack or not, but decides to take Rory's hand in a handshake much to the crowd's liking.* Axel: ...I'm Axel.... Cole: It's nice to see some rare sportsmanship before a match! JBL: But sportsmanship gets you nothing. Cole: The crowds seem to like it. JBL: Exactly as I said. *The referee rings the bell and the match begins. Jobby shoos Axel to the tag corner as he doesn't want Axel to be hurt more. Axel begrudgingly agrees with Jobby's decision, and Jobby meets Rory in the center of the ring. After a bit of a pause, Jobby hears a cheer and turns to greet it. Rory uses this to gain the upper hand and begins to lay punch after punch into the bigger Jobby. Jobby backs into the ropes as Rory prepares him for an Scottish Whip [It's a terrible pun, but I'm keeping it ^^;] and proceeds to fall flat on his face. Jobby indicates to the crowd that he saved himself with the ropes.* JBL: Yes, good job. You did something right for a change. *Again this causes Rory to recover quickly and he makes it to his feet with his back turned to Jobby. Jobby, seeing the advantage, leans back against the ropes and propels himself like a human missile towards Rory. Unfortunately, Rory slowly walks towards Robbie and Jobby lands hard on the ground. As the crowd begins to laugh, Axel looks gripped with sympathy embarrassment for Jobby and Rory is surprised to see the biggest man of the match face first on the ground.* Cole: *chuckle* ...Vintage Jobby? JBL: So vintage that it's turned into vinegar. *Rory uses Jobby's mistake to his advantage and begins to stomp anyway at him. Every time Jobby lifts his body up, Rory stomps him back down. The crowd seems to enjoy the humor in it while Axel finally can't contain himself anymore.* Axel: JAY, ROLL OR SOMETHING GODDAMNIT!!!! *Jobby rolls to the right and begins to lift himself up, only to be stomped down again. As Jobby begins to crawl over to Axel, Rory gets closer to the ropes. Finally, unable to take it anymore, Axel runs on the apron from the tag rope to Rory and levels the Scotsman with a hard Clothesline. The referee pushes Axel back to his corner and Jobby once again rises to his feet. He helps Rory up and offers his hand.* Jobby: Sorry, he gets that way. *Axel looks to be steaming at this point. Rory takes the hand, but then pulls Jobby into a Short Arm Clothesline. He continues his stomping on Jobby then proceeds to drag Jobby to his corner and he slaps Robbie for the tag. Robbie steps into the ring and drops his left elbow into Jobby's stomach. He attempts to grind it into Jobby's abdomen but is surprised when Jobby grabs his arm and rolls over sending him flying over Jobby to land on his stomach. Jobby then locks in an ARMBAR!* Cole: Impressive move by Jobby! JBL: He is a great talent but he will never get anywhere if he doesn't start getting serious! *Jobby lets go and wraps Robbie's arm in a vice. He then places his foot inside the vice and hooks his other foot so that Robbie's arm is locked tight. Jobby then acts out his Val Venis taunt of the decade by shaking his hips, much to the delight of the women in the audience but none of the men in or out of the ring. He then falls back, forcing a great pressure on the arm of Robbie. He stands again, still with the arms locked, and falls back again. At this point, Robbie is wishing that he just stomped on Jobby like Rory did. Jobby unhooks Robbie's arm and helps him to his feet. Then he locks in Robbie in a suplex position and places Robbie's arm behind his back, then delivers a Suplex to Robbie with all his weight landing on his own arm.* Cole: Nice working on that now injured arm by Jobby! JBL: You know, I hate to admit it Cole but I'm actually impressed. Cole: I think the reason that Jobby's playing his A game is because he wants to save Axel from any match time. JBL: I don't see why, it's not like they have an important match coming up. If Jobby had done this earlier, perhaps they would actually have a big match or maybe a shot at the tag titles. But no, that went to their rivals TJT. Cole: I think that you are too hard on Jobby, all he wants is to please the crowd. You can tell he's genuinely happy to have their support. *Robbie holds his arm in pain as Jobby rolls him over and places his injured in a Hammerlock. Jobby suddenly stops and holds the arm in place while wrapping his other arm around the waist of Robbie. In a fluid like motion, he lifts Robbie in the air and sends him back to the ground on his arm in a Back Body Suplex. The crowd pops for the incredible maneuver.* Cole: Oh my! JBL: Now that's something you don't see everyday! I dare say that I'm beginning to like Jobby! *Jobby, instead of continuing to work on the arm, begins to bask in the cheers of the crowd. He points to each side, allowing Robbie to crawl slowly to Rory. After Axel points behind him crazily, Jobby turns and is met with a hard Clothesline. Rory begins to put the boot to Jobby again, this time focusing on the head.* JBL: I officially take that back and demand that my words be edited should this ever be on an EWT bloopers DVD. *Rory helps Jobby to his knees and kicks him in the stomach, then levels Jobby with a DDT. He goes for the cover.* 1! 2! Kick out! *Rory looks a bit surprised but that doesn't stop him for long. He again helps Jobby to his knees then runs perpendicular to the ropes and hits a boot to the side of Jobby's head. Jobby falls into a heap.* Cole: It appears that Jobby's plans of playing to the crowd and keeping Axel from getting hurt is failing... JBL: He needs to make a tag, he doesn't have much left. *Rory calmly walks over to Robbie and slaps him, thus making a tag. Jobby just plain looks out of it. Between the stomps, the Spike DDT that he was hit with while on his knees, and the fact that he hasn't had a break his own limits have been shown. Axel, looking worried at his partner, calls for Jobby to tag him in. Jobby begins to crawl on his hands and knees towards Axel, deciding that Axel is right in wanting to be tagged in. But Robbie gets to him first and hits a Standing Diving Headbutt to Jobby's head in attempt to do more damage to Jobby. Yet, it backfires and Robbie is left seeing stars [tehe]. Jobby is just inches away from Axel's gloved hand when Rory begins to run in. Seeing this in the corner of his eye, Jobby uses all of the rest of his energy to jump and tag in Axel. The crowd actually gives Axel a warm cheer as Axel quickly steps into the ring. Jobby rolls out of the ring and onto the arena floor, thus unofficially putting him out of the match. Axel runs to meet Rory but is tripped by Robbie and lands hard on his injured forehead. As the referee forces Rory out of the ring, Robbie rips off Axel's bandage and begins to try to open the wound. Axel fiercely attempts to protect himself and hits Robbie with some stiff Knee Shots. As Axel stands, it appears that Robbie was successful in opening up the stitches as Axel is bleeding slightly. He, however, doesn't seem to notice and lifts Robbie up to his feet to give him a Jumping Arm Breaker on his left arm. Robbie howls in pain and rolls out of the ring. Just then, Terina jumps the barricade and grabs the attention of the VERY lonely referee.* Cole: NOT AGAIN! JBL: Ah, the next next Mrs. Layfield has graced us with her presence! Cole: Dammit! TJT are going to interfere again! *Sure enough, as if boos were his unofficial theme, Thunder runs into the ring from behind the referee's back. He motions for Axel to turn around, which he does after Rory steps into the ring pointing behind him in the very way that Axel had done with Jobby before. Thunder runs at full speed at Axel to hit his Thunderbolt Spear on him but, at the last second, Axel side steps him and pushes him into Rory.* Cole: THUNDER JUST HIT RORY WITH THE THUNDERBOLT SPEAR! *Thunder slowly rises, realizing his mistake only to be thrown out to ring side, next to Terina. She screams and drops from the apron to check on Thunder while the whole arena cheers. While the referee looks confused at them for a second, Axel stares at the downed Rory. He smiles, shrugs as if to say "Oh well", and covers Rory just as the referee turns.* 1! 2! 3! *The crowd breaks out in cheers as the bell rings.* Cole: And the Wrestle Posse gets their first win! I don't like the cheating involved John, but it was a great match. JBL: I personally love the cheating involved! It showed that Axel is willing to do anything to win, even capitalize on the blunder of one Thunder! Chimel: And your winners of this match... "The Wrestle Posse" Tenacious J & A! * “Young, Dumb, & Ugly” plays over the speakers * *Jobby has since made it to the ring and Axel helps him to his feet. Robbie holds onto his arm on the outside and Rory remains out cold in the ring. Jobby looks as happy for the win as a wiped out person can be as the referee raises both of the arms of Axel and Jobby. Axel walks over to Terina and the rising Thunder, he smiles and lifts up one finger [imagine which one].* Axel: One more, and we'll be even. *Terina looks to be completely mental at the thought that she and Thunder just helped her enemies win a match. While Thunder is holding the back of his head and looking generally pissed that a perfect plan backfired.* Cole: It looks like the war between The Wrestle Posse and TJT isn't over yet. JBL: I dare say, Cole, it just got more interesting... *camera fades into commercial.*
|
|
|
Post by The Lach is very tired on Feb 7, 2007 7:54:39 GMT -5
*Pyro erupts from the top of the ramp & Slow Chemical by Finger Eleven starts to play. Kane appears & he heads to the ring.*
Bobby Cruiz: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. On his way to the ring, weighing in at 326 lbs Kane!
*Kane steps into the ring & does his ringpost pyro deal. He then turns & waits for his opponent. Party Starter plays & Spaz appears. He is full of energy & he high fives fans on his way down.*
BC: And his opponent, from Sydney, Australia, weighing in at 216 lbs he is Spaz!!
*Spaz steps into the ring & he looks cautiously at Kane. Spaz extends his hand & Kane accepts it. The crowd cheers as the ref calls for the bell. Spaz charges at Kane but he is unable to move him with his shoulder. He punches Kane but Kane shows no effect. He then levels Spaz with a vicious shot. Spaz is up & he charges at Kane again who looks for a clothesline but Spaz ducks it, comes back off the ropes & uses his momentum to plant Kane with a running Bulldog. Spaz then pulls Kane to his feet & whips him into the corner. He runs over & nails Kane with a Shining Wizard. Kane falls to the mat & Spaz goes to the top. As soon as Kane stands Spaz levels him with a Missile Dropkick. Spaz stands up & salutes the crowd but he doesn’t see Kane behind him! Spaz turns & is levelled by Kane with a huge uppercut. Kane pulls Spaz up by his hair & plants him again with a Shortarm Clothesline. Kane tries a cover.*
1 2 NO!
*Spaz kicks out, Kane stays on the attack & drags him to the corner. He lifts him to his feet & he then backs away & charges. He floors Spaz with a clothesline. He whips him across to the other corner & he charges again but Spaz drops down & trips Kane up, his head bounces off the top turnbuckle. Spaz rolls him up.*
1 2 NO!
*Kane fights out. Spaz stays on offence by grabbing Kane’s legs & locking on a Sydney Cloverleaf but after a few seconds Kane is able to stretch out & grab the rope. Spaz releases the hold & Kane sits up. Spaz dropkicks Kane in the face & he goes down again. Spaz tries a cover.*
1 2 KICKOUT!!
*Kane powers out of the cover pressing Spaz off him & out of the ring! Kane climbs out & picks Spaz up he whips him into the barriers & then runs & clotheslines him into the front row! Kane gets back into the ring & the ref starts a ten count.*
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 *Spaz stands & climbs over the barrier. He gets back into the ring just as the ref is counting 8 he is clearly dazed from the clothesline. Kane grabs him & plants him with a sidewalk slam. He stalks the ring & signals to the crowd that he is ready to put Spaz away. Spaz stands & Kane picks lifts him into position for a Powerbomb. Spaz fights it with punches to the head. Spaz is then able to spin & plant Kane with a DDT! Both men stay down & the ref begins a count.*
1 2 3 4 5 6
*Spaz pulls himself up with the ropes & Kane sits up. Spaz waits until he is up & charges. He plants him with a Swinging Neckbreaker. Spaz gets up & climbs the turnbuckle. He tries a Shooting Star Press but Kane gets his knees up. Spaz screams in pain. Kane stands & waits for Spaz. When he stands he grabs him by the throat & lifts him up. Spaz fights it with elbows to the head & Kane drops Spaz. Spaz then kicks Kane in the gut & nails him with The Shockwave! Spaz is down too though holding his ribs. He take a while to crawl over & make a cover.*
1 2 NO!
*Spaz can’t believe it. Kane kicked out! He has a shocked look on his face & Kane sits up! Both men are on their feet & staring at each other. Spaz charges at Kane but Kane levels him with a Big Boot. He picks Spaz up & plants him with a Chokeslam! He makes the cover.*
1 2 ROPEBREAK!!
*Somehow Spaz is able to get his foot up on the bottom rope! Kane just looks at the ref & stands. He pulls Spaz up & hoists him onto his shoulders for a Powerbomb again. But again Spaz fights it this time he is able to shift his weight & Hurricanrana. Spaz rises & heads to the corner again. He steadies himself & this time he lands the Shooting Star Press.*
1 2 3!
*Kane kicks out but it’s too late. Spaz stands & Party Starter plays.*
BC: The winner of this match Spaz!
*The ref holds up Spaz’s hand but Kane is standing behind them. They turn around & expect the worst but Kane just nods to Spaz & leaves the ring. We cut to commercial with Spaz celebrating in the ring.*
CUT TO COMMERCIAL
|
|
Ratings
Dennis Stamp
Has a box of scraps
"YAY!"
Posts: 4,236
|
Post by Ratings on Feb 7, 2007 11:47:58 GMT -5
The crowd begins to boo as Ratings appears on the Toomitron with his usual smirk.
Ratings: "Salutations, fans of EWT. It is I, Ratings. "The Palm Springs Playboy", "The 'It" Athlete", "The Greatest Wrestler of Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow". Last week--when you all had your eyes glued to the action in the ring, you witnessed a prelude. A sign of things to come. Allow me to remind you of what occured.
*A video plays of Ratings defeating Dorf*
Ratings: "Yes, as if by faith, I defeat Dorf, the winner--the champion--of last year's RPITA Rumble. And what I said after the match, I meant ever. Damn. Word. You see, by defeating Dorf on the eve of the Rumble, I have gain the momentum going into Sunday. And the rest of the pack? Well, all they have done is talk. All they have done is make empty promises. All they've done... is said the impossible. And when you are born from an elite bloodline, where everything you have done has been a success... Nothing is impossible. In ancient times, the kings who ruled the lands where their thrones stood possessed three qualities: Wealth... Prestige... & Power. I have long acquired those traits since the day I stepped foot into this world. All I'm missing... is the crown and title. Mark my words, EWT fans and athletes alike: I will win this Sunday. For all those who step in that ring will fall, and in the end, the man left standing in that ring will be me. And just like the countless times before, the ratings... will... rise."
*He snickers at the camera before we fade to black*
|
|
|
Post by The Lach is very tired on Feb 8, 2007 1:40:21 GMT -5
*Spaz is standing backstage in front of a RPITA Rumble banner. He stares at it for a second then he turns to the camera.*
S: I have accomplished great things here in the EWT. I have competed against & beaten the best, I have been a pioneer involved in unique matches & I have won titles. But something is missing from my career accomplishments. I have not won the RPITA Rumble. But that will soon change. It doesn't matter if I am the first man in or the last man in I will not be denied! This match will have legends of this company, former world champions, up & coming young superstars & cocky know-it-alls. They all think that they will win but they all have one thing going against them, they are not Spaz! We have guys claiming they deserve to win this match, we have guys claiming it's their god given right to win this match. We even have guys claiming that they are the "It Athlete", whatever the hell that means. But none of them will matter once I step into that ring. I prove once again that I am the greatest technical wrestler in the world today by winning the Rumble!
CUT TO COMMERCIAL
|
|
|
Post by xombiehiphop on Feb 9, 2007 5:54:49 GMT -5
Announcer: Currently in the ring..Paul Roma and Hercules..Power and Glory!
-The two muscle heads raise they're arms skywards to a negative reaction from the packed house..-
Announcer: ..And they're opponents..
"..Suppose you were to die tonight..what would you say?" [/i]
-The lights dim and the opening riff to Alice In Chains' "We Die Young" begins to play. The trio known as The Draugr emerge from different points of the arena. Ghost Face simply walks down the aisle, stopping at the bottom of the ramp and stares up at the ring. Wraith emerges from underneath the ring, behind Hercules and Roma. Corpse comes from the crowd, hopping over the fan barricade. He creeps onto the ring apron, from the side of the two meat heads, who's attention is still firmly locked onto Ghost Face. As the lights come up, Wraith and Corpse attack they're opponents from behind, signaling that they will be the two participants in the match. The bell rings..-
-The Draugr quickly toss the largest man in the ring, Hercules, to the outside and begin to pound away on Roma with a series of clubbing blows until he falls onto his hands and knee's. Roma is whipped into the ropes and caught by Wraith who lifts him up into a Manhattan Drop, but allows him to fall to his back instead of completing the move, still holding onto his legs, he rolls him into a Boston Crab. Corpse proceeds to bounce off the ropes and plant two boots squarely into the face of Roma.
-On the outside, Hercules attempts to get back into the action. ATTEMPTS being the key word. Ghost Face has scooped up the large chain he brings to the ring, which fell from his neck when he tumbled to the floor. He wraps it tightly around his fist and punches Herc square in the kidney with it, which sends the big man crumbling to the ground in a heap. All done while the ref was preoccupied with wrestlers in the ring, of course.
Corpse and Wraith waste no movements whatsoever as they both kick Roma in the gut, run the ropes, and take him down with a Double Bulldog. Wraith quickly drags Paul to his feet and gets him in Rock Bottom like position. He hoists him high into air, off of his feet, and then drops to a sitting position, effectively completing the maneuver he refers to as the "Snow White Tan". Roma clutches the back of his head as Corpse slips through the middle rope and onto the ring apron. He springs onto the ropes, and then nimbly leaps across to the set of ropes to the side of him in an amazing show of agility. As he reaches the opposite ropes he performs a Split Legged Moonsault in one fluid motion..the "Death Blue Drop". He hooks a leg and receives the 1..2..3.-
Announcer: Here are your winners...Corpse and Wraith!
-Alice In Chains starts up again as Ghost Face gives Herc a few stomps to the head for good measure. He slides into the ring and Corpse and Wraith grab Roma by the ankles, holding him upside down. Ghost Face pulls back his fist, still wrapped in the chain, and punches poor Paul Roma right in the stomach with it. Roma is dropped, gasping for air as the strange trio looking somewhat amused by their handywork..-
|
|
Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
|
Post by Curly Long on Feb 9, 2007 6:38:23 GMT -5
We cut back to the Aquarium where Maelstrom is standing over one of the large tanks. He is holding a large tray with chunks of meat in his hands, his heavyweight title still hanging on his shoulders. There is a knock on the door
MAELSTROM: It's Open
Maelstrom tears off some of the meat and throws it into the water tank. The water bubbles ominously as a shadow appears to Maelstroms right. Maelstrom turns as the camera falls back to reveal Mr. Big.
MAELSTROM: What do you want? I told Curly if he came around here again trying to sell me some dodgy mermaid film that I would throw him in with the box jellyfish.
Mr. Big shakes his head
MR.BIG: I'm not here because of Mr. Long.
MAELSTROM: Well then what is it?
Mr. Big taps the heavyweight belt with his large hand. Maelstrom pushes the hand away and stares right into the eyes of Mr. Big.
MAELSTROM: Look if you want a title shot big guy, get in line! Just because your 7ft and 400 pounds doesn't mean you can just walk into the main event, this is not the wwe!
MR.BIG: No. I am here about your next match. Which is for your EWT World Heavyweight title.
MAELSTROM: Yeah I have to face Ultimo Chocula. What about it?
Mr. Big in his suit clasps his hands together, he then removes his dark sunglasses.
MR.BIG: Let's just say that some interested parties would be much appreciated if Mr. Chocula didn't eave the ring on his own free will.
MAELSTROM: What exactly are you saying ...
Mr. Big grabs a slice of meat from the tray Maelstrom has been holding and hurls it into the water. A frenzy of activity can be seen in the waters.
MR. BIG: My associate would like for the man we know as Ultimo to sink rather than swim.
Mr. Big reaches into his jacket and hands over an envelope to Maelstrom. Maelstrom takes it. Mr. Big walks away from the aquarium.
MR.BIG: I think it's a good offer, don't you?
Mr. Big walks out of the aqarium. Maelstrom looks in the envelope, a huge menacing smile appears on his facep
(fade out)
|
|
Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
|
Post by Ass Dan on Feb 9, 2007 12:49:09 GMT -5
The sounds of Klepacki's 'Hell March' plays as boos are directed to Joe.
WE WANT WAR! WAKE UP!
Announcer: The following contest is schedualed for one fall. Introducing first, from Airstrip One, weighing in at 234 lbs., Joe One!
Flames blaze from the set as boos are directed at the undefeated One.
Announcer: And his opponent, already in the ring, from Austin, Texas, weighing in at 285 lbs., Bart Gunn!
The crowd gives no reaction. Upon (not) hearing this, Gunn yells at the crowd "I won the Brawl for All! Doesn't that mean anything?"
Joe One steps in the ring and the match is underway.
*ding ding ding*
Gunn stares down One, while One just stares. Gunn sets a charge at One, but just before he can tackle him, One kicks him in the chest and hits a DDT. He applys the Sleeper Hold and Gunn quickly taps.
*ding ding ding*
Announcer: Here is your winner...
But before the announcer can declare One the winner, Joe gets Gunn back on his feet and Airstrip Kisses him out of the ring. He makes his arms in the 'V' position as the crowd shows how they feel in the form of boos.
*THEN SOMETHING...HAPPENS*
|
|
|
Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Feb 9, 2007 17:25:38 GMT -5
"Otherworld" starts up as 4 fireworks explode, then Mysth shows up, spreading his arms. The fans pop, and he walks his way to the ring all by greeting the fans.
Lillian: "The following match is cheduled for one fall, and is for the EWT Toolsehd Title. First, making his way to the ring, from Strasbourg, France, weighing in at 238 pounds, "A Darkness In The Light", MYSTH!"
Once he reaches the ring, he grabs the ropes, and 4 other fireworks start in each corner of the ring. Then, Mysth enters into the ring and spreads his arms once again.
"Hybird Stigmata" by Dimmu Borgir plays as the audience's cheers turn to boos. Christopher Indigo appears at the top of the entrance way.
Lillian: "Making his way to the ring, from Calgary, Alberta Canada, he is the current EWT Toolshed Champion, CHRISTOPHER INDIGO!"
Indigo quickly enters the ring and throws his belt off. Indigo hits Mysth with a running forearm and start hitting Mysth with mounted punches before his entrance music is even done! The ref quickly calls for the bell. Indigo then throws Mysth to the outside and heas after him. Indigo snatches the Toolshed Title from the timekeeper and starts to stalk Mysth as he gets up. Mysth gets up, and Indigo charges at Mysth and swings for his head with the Toolshed Title, but Mysth ducks! Mysth then hits Christopher Indigo with a Pelee, and Indigo goes down. Mysth crawls back into the ring, and tries to gather himself before Indigo is up again. Indigo wearily gets into the ring, and Mysth rolls Indigo up!
1
2
KICKOUT!
Indigo quickly slides out of the ring to catch a breather, but Mysth leaps over the top rope and hits Indigo with a missile dropkick. Mysth gets up, and throws Indigo into the ring. Mysth looks under the apron for weapons, and pulls out a chair. He slides the chair into the ring, and sets it up into a sitting position in front of Indigo. He runs towards the ropes and comes off them. He runs up the chair (ala Sabu), and leaps off the chair, but Indigo catches him, and slams him back first into the seat area of the chair! Indigo then backs off for a breather as Mysth is on the ground, writhing in pain.
And this isn' t the end of Mysth' s punishment, as Joe One is running towards the ring and slides through the ropes ! Indigo picks Mysth up and One hits the Pumphandle Michinoku Driver II !! Indigo follows with a Brainbuster ! Then One Irish WHips Mysth to the ropes and Indigo with the Shining Wizard !! Joe One and Christopher Indigo turn their backs to Mysth who' s lying on the ground and turn to the crowd to celebrate, and get a chorus of boos.
But suddenly, the boos turn into a huge pop. One and Indigo are quite surprised to get such positive reaction and turn back... only to realise what is the true reason for the cheers : Mysth just rose ! Indigo tries for a Hurracanrana, but Mysth turns it into a Powerbomb ! Then Joe One runs at Mysth in order to perform the Running Headbutt, but Mysth leapfrogs him and runs to the ropes... MYSTHICAL CHOKESLAM ON THE CHAIR !! Now Mysth gets out of the ring, and looks under the apron for a kendo stick !! He gets back in, and as Indigo is getting back up on his feet, Mysth hits him with the kendo stick in the back ! Mysth hits Indigo with the stick several times, then throws the stick. Joe One suddenly rises and rushes at Mysth and they lock up, but thanks to the speed he gained, Joe One manages to push Mysth against the ropes. The two athletes are now battling against the ropes, Joe One trying to throw Mysth out, and Mysth doing whatecer he can to resist. Finally, Joe One manages to drop Mysth over the top rope, but Mysth grabs him at the last moment and they both fall out of the ring !
Indigo regains consciousness and leaves the ring as well. He chases a technician away from his chair and picks it up, in the meanwhile Mysth starts leaning against the ring to try and get back on his feet, but Indigo runs at him and hits him in the face with the chair, throwing Mysth' s head against the turnbuckle !! Mysth is lying on the ground and Indigo goes for the cover !
ONE
...
TWO
...
TH-NO !!
Mysth kicked out at the very last moment ! Indigo know locks Mysth into the Triangle Choke, but after a few seconds, Mysth manages to get out of it. They lock up and Indigo grabs Mysth' s head, he wants to knock it against one of the announcer' s table, but Mysth counters and knocks Indigo' s head instead ! Mysth then puts Indigo on the table and climbs it. He picks Indigo up and grabs his throat ! MYSTHERIOUS WAYS THROUGH THE TABLE !! Mysth tries for the pin !
ONE
...
TWO
...
THR-WHAT ?!! Joe One just hit Mysth with a garbage can and therefore forced him to get away from Indigo ! Indigo who gets back up !! They start kicking Mysth who' s lying on the ground, then Christopher Indigo gets Mysth on his feet and gets himself in the Cop Killa position in order to hit... THE VISION OF INDIGO !! He then gets Mysth near the steel steps, picks him up and... BRAINBUSTER ON THE STEEL STEPS !! And that' s not over as Joe One pulls Mysth near the second announcers' table ! He removes the top of hit and grabs the wires ! And he strangles Mysth with them !! And at the same time, he manages to lock in... THE SLEEPER HOLD !! SLEEPER HOLD BY JOE ONE !! Mysth is writhing in pain, tries to get out of the hold, but he can' t do anything, he' s exausted... and he finally passes out !! But Joe One still wants to do more damage, so he turns his Sleeper Hold into a Reverse Suplex THROUGH THE SECOND TABLE !! Indigo now just lays down to get the cover !
ONE
...
TWO
...
THREE !!
Lillian: "Here is your winner and STILL EWT Toolshed Champion... CHRISTOPHER... INDIGOOO !!
As Indigo holds his Toolshed Title, "The Champ Is Here" by Jadakiss plays and Indigo fixes a stare at the top of the entrance way. Marcus "Stylez" Saxton is then wheeled out on stage by a woman. Marcus' behaviour is that of someone mentally challenged as we cut to commercial break.
|
|
|
Post by respectmeordye3 on Feb 10, 2007 12:10:34 GMT -5
Sandman walks down the ramp to his music and he enters the ring where Singapore Caine already awaits and is holding a mic.
"Sandman before we begin our match,I wanted to know if I could make a two-part deal with you" he says"If I beat you then you and a tag partner of your own choosing will go head to head with Me and my new partner Abraham Lincoln the 8th in any type of tag match-and just to make the deal even more interesting you can even choose the stipulation of the tag match.The other deal I wanted to make was that this paticular match in we are about to partake in be a "No rules" hardcore style match--so howabout it?"
Sandman smirks slightly "Hey, I have no problem with that-I've been itching to bust some skulls lately anyway"
he turns to the Referee "Hear that pal?, From this moment on this is a No rules match with the stipulation that if he beat's me, we go head to head in a tag match of my choosing with a partner of my choosing next week okay?......."
Sandman is so busy talking to the Ref that he fails to notice as Singapore Caine's hand slowly slides behind his back.
He turns back to Singapore Caine. "...Of course that's provided that you can actually beat me"
The bell rings starting the match and Singapore Caine immedietly whips his hand out from behind him, his namesake in his grasp and cracks Sandman over the head several times. Taken completely by surprise Sandman is stunned by the blows and stumbles to and fro--Singapore Caine then strikes several more times--this time in the crotch. Sandman grunts in pain and tries to recover but before he is able to do so, Singapore Caine delivers several strikes to the knees--a move that causes Sandman to fall to his back.
Sandman is pulled to his feet by Singapore Caine and driven backfirst into the corner turnbuckle,Singapore Caine then mounts the top rope of the same turnbuckle and using all his strength he is able to lift Sandman up and into an upside-down position.
And then much to the fans amazement and shock he gives the Sandman a Piledriver off the top rope and to the mat below and covers him for the pin as the crowd begins to chant "Holy Crap!" over and over.
1.......
2........
3!
Singapore Caine has won. His music starts back up and he begins to walk up the ramp in celebration of his win but suddenly the Sandman's voice comes across the speakers!
Singapore Caine turns and much to his astonishment, Sandman has already recovered enough to grab a mic and give Singapore Caine his decsion for next week's match."
"Hey Singapore Caine you dirty littel S.O.B., I've made my decsion---the stipulation for next week's tag match, is this--a handicapped falls count anywhere barbedwire match!, and as for my partners--well they will be Balls Mahoney and Umaga!"
The crowd goes insane.
Next week's tag match will definetly be a match to remember.
|
|
|
Post by teamireland on Feb 10, 2007 14:53:45 GMT -5
Toni "The Garc" Garcya: Ladies and gentlemen... the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the EWT Ox Division Championship!
The rocked up version of "Amhrán na bhFiann" starts up as the crowd immediately begins booing, as Shane Malone steps out from the back, Coach Pat O'Hare following, patting his big man on the back and pretty much just giving some pre match encouragement before this bout.
Garcya: Introducing the challenger... Representing Team Ireland, accompanied to the ring by Coach Pat O'Hare, weighing in at 298 pounds, the Celtic Giant... Shane Malone!
Shane stomps down the ramp way, not seeming intimidated in the slightest, the crowd continuing to pelt with boos as he hops onto the ring apron, climbing inside. O'Hare waits on the outside, as he watches the entrance way. Soon enough, Broken Wings begins as a huge pyro goes off, nearly scaring the coach out of his knickers as he jumps slightly, but quickly composes himself.
Garcya: And the opponent, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 272 pounds, he is the EWT Ox Division Champion.... Crauswell!!!
Nick Russ: Greetings EWT fans, I'm Nick Russ, joined as always by Jerome "The Lord" East. Jerome, this is quite a match-up we have here tonight. Jerome "The Lord" East: That's right, Nick. It seems Team Ireland aren't content merely with the EWT World Tag-Team titles, now they're branching out into other divisions as well. Shane Malone is an extremely dangerous competitor & poses a serious threat to Crauswell's reign as OX-Division Champion. Russ: As much of a threat as Malone may be, Crauswell has proven himself to be one of the toughest OX-Division Champions in EWT history! "The Celtic Giant" may be in for the fight of his life here if he aims to take that belt back to Ireland.
The furry steps out onto the ramp way, also unintimidated it seems, belt strapped around his waist as he walks down to the ring, not even bothering to acknowledge O'Hare as he hops onto the ring apron, climbing in as well, walking right past O'Hare, doing his signature drop to the knees, as he unstraps and holds his championship high, bringing it close and stroking over it gently, a bit, as Malone gives a bit of a puzzled look, but otherwise doesn't seem to care. The furry, exits the ring, gently placing it on the outside, then climbing back in, simply staring back at the Celtic Giant. The two meet up in the center, as the bell rings, both men quickly locking up! Malone gets the early advantage, pushing Crauswell back into the corner, keeping him held there for a bit, until he's forced to break the hold. He backs off, only to fire a cheap shot on the champion in the face. Crauswell clutches slightly, as Malone whips him off to the other side, but Crauswell leaping atop the second turnbuckle, leaping over a charging Malone. Malone however stops himself as well, taking advantage and coming back with a Northern Lariat, taking the champion down to his knees. Malone then unleashes a swift series of double axe handles to the back, flattening the champion as he then backs up, going off the ropes and coming down across the chest with a jumping knee drop! Malone then mounts, unleashing some swift fists, before Crauswell pushes him off, but Malone staying on him, leaping back atop, getting pushed off once again, but again Malone not relenting, pulling the furry up by an arm, right into a swift Vertical Suplex! He yanks him up again, into a second one, then going for a cover. 1...2 Crauswell easily kicks out.
Russ: Who would've expected Shane Malone to make such a mistake? Crauswell is still far from worn out! East: Don't forget, Nick, in forcing the Furry to kick out, Malone is making him expend energy! All this could be a part of his & Coach O'Hare's strategy to leve tonight with that OX-Division Title.
Malone starts dropping forearms across the face, hitting a series of 'em, before getting back to his feet, waiting for Crauswell to rise, as he backs off against the ropes, charging for a lariat, only to get caught by a hip toss! Malone gasps, but quickly rises back up, into a Shuffle Side Kick from the champion, staggering him further. Crauswell then leaps up, hitting an impressive Calf Kick, quickly getting back up as Malone stays back against the ropes. The furry charges for a Yakuza kick, but Malone lowers the ropes, sending the champion to the outside. O'Hare grins, as he claps for his monster of a man, as Malone hops outside, laying some stomps into the champion, as Crauswell groans slightly, trying to roll away. Shane however follows close, stomping more and more as he does. The crowd boos, as Shane yanks him to his feet, hoisting him up high, then walking over and dropping him neck first across the barricade. Crauswell grasps at the throat, as he leans against the barricade. Malone walks up behind, delivering some forearm shots to the back, before pulling Crauswell back up, chucking him into the ring. He looks on uncaring, entering afterwards, the furry once again able to get to his feet. As he does, Malone starts rocking him with some swift fists, sending him reeling with each one. Malone then grabs him again, bringing him down with a nasty Pendulum Backbreaker! Crauswell clutches further at the back, as Shane makes a cover. 1....2 Again Crauswell kicks out.
East: WHOA! Now there's a series of manoeveres that I thought would have put Crauswell out of action! The Champ is showing some extraordinary resiliency in this match! Russ: Malone is starting to show that trademark Team Ireland vicious streak. If he keeps on working over Crauswell like that then Team Ireland will be in possession of a third championship belt by the end of tonight.
Malone looks a bit annoyed, as he gets up once again, off the ropes and for a forearm, only for the champion to roll out of the away, Shane instead colliding with the mat. He grimaces slightly, as Crauswell rises up again, seeming quite aggravated now as he charges for a running knee lift, hunching the giant over. He immediately follows with a jumping Scissors Kick, following up with a leg vice around the chest, as he unleashes some stiff shots of his own to the back of Malone's neck. He eventually lets up, rising back to his feet and dropping some quick leg drops across the neck, before yanking him back to his own feet, hitting a jumping neckbreaker, the Celtic Giant starting to feel some effects. Crauswell gets back up, taking a moment to recover from that earlier assault, as Malone rises, right into a Bicycle kick to the face from the champion. He drops down to one knee, the furry following dropping to his own and hitting a throat thrust, quickly springing back to two feet, now grabbing him by the skull and driving more knees into his face, as O'Hare watches a bit worried. The champion then hoists him up, chucking him aside with a Choke toss, Malone groaning a bit, but still able to get back up. Crauswell quickly charges after, grabbing and launching him with a overhead belly to belly! He grabs at the back again slightly, but seems fine. Crauswell then makes his first cover. 1....2..
Malone powers out, showing some impressive resilience.
Russ: EGADS! Crauswell has managed to turn this match right around in a matter of minutes! The champ is pulling out all the stops here! East: But Malone still kicked out, Nick. Crauswell made an impressive showing there, but the Furry may not have all it takes to deal with "The Celtic Giant".
The champion seems to be panting a bit, but not done just yet. Malone stumbles dazed a bit, right into a DDT! Crauswell immediately transitions into a Dragon Sleeper, as he yanks Malone back to both feet, applying more pressure to that neck area. Shane growls, trying to use some momentum and get behind, but Crauswell stops each attempt with a swift kick to the back. He unleashes some nasty overhand chops to the throat as well, as Malone continues to resist, Crauswell eventually vetoing to submission, pulling Shane right into a Gut Buster! He then catches him, yanking him back up and hitting a backbreaker, then still holding, sets him back down, launching him with a nasty Side Suplex, completing the seldom used Prey Stalker and driving Malone into the mat again. He goes for a cover. 1....2.....
Malone manages to kick out as well, the furry sitting up, looking a bit annoyed. He yanks Malone back to his feet, positioning him for a Steamroller, only for Malone to wriggle free, dropping behind and planting the champion with a sleeper drop! He gets to his feet, catching his own breath now as he grabs the ropes, waiting for Crauswell to rise. As he does, Malone charges, taking him down with a nasty spear! He then quickly starts bashing the furry's face in with more punches, Crauswell a bit too dazed to throw him off this time. Malone then scramble to his feet, reaching down and picking up the furry with as much effort as he would a child, setting him up and connecting with the Gal-A-Way Slam! he bridges for a pin! 1.....2.....
No! Crauswell somehow once again kicks out. O'Hare on the outside can't believe it!
East: AMAZING! How can Crauswell kick out of the "Gal-A-Way Slam" after all the punishment he's taken?! Russ: We know Crauswell is VERY possesive of that OX-Divison belt. He'll go to any lengths to keep it. Judging by the punishment he's absorbed tonight ANY challenger will have to pry the belt from his cold dead hands!
The Coach quickly tells Malone to finish the champion off with a quick throat cutting motion, as Shane nods obediently, yanking Crauswell up from behind, launching him for the Dragon Slayer, only for the champion to counter, using the momentum to get behind and turning it into a swift Kutoh Driver! Shane's neck bounces hard off the mat as Crauswell groans, getting up once again and making his way to the top turnbuckle, leaping off and Taking Flight, hitting the heart of Malone who gasps in pain, clutching the area. Crauswell then rolls over, getting behind and clinching on the Crossface Gryphon Wing! Malone gasps in pain again, desperately trying to hold on.... as O'Hare watches in horror. Shane puts up a hell of a resistance, staying locked in the hold for about an entire minute, but in the end he's got nowhere to go and has no choice but to submit.
Garcya: Here is your winner and still Ox Division Champion... Crauswell!
East: I can't believe Shane gave up! Russ: Given the punishment he absorbed during the match, I'm not terribly shocked. Any other man would've given up in that position too.
The furry releases his hold, as he slowly rises to his feet, the inside of his suit drenched in sweat as he gives another look to O'Hare on the outside, before exiting the ring, grabbing his belt and once again strapping it around his waist, quickly exiting the ringside area, as the coach enters the ring, checking on his Celtic Giant, who happens to be just fine, though a bit winded. Crauswell now stands atop the rampway, looking at the ring and not saying a word.
Russ: We saw Crauswell go through alot tonight. That man will go to any lengths to keep a hold of that OX-Division belt! East: Like you said earlier, Nick. If Malone or any other challenger wants that belt, they may well have to take it from the cold dead fingers of Crauswell!
|
|
|
Post by bollywood on Feb 10, 2007 17:37:53 GMT -5
An Airport in America (Yeah, that's right. JUST an Airport in America. Where does EWT's base of operations reside anyway?) -- DAY)
Generic female voice from Airport's PA system: "Flight 555 from Mumbai, India has arrived. Passengers exiting from terminal 2-A."
*Out front of the said terminal, various passengers exit and head into the airport. One of the last ones to enter is a man wearing sunglasses, stylish Indian clothing and a bright smile*
Man: "Haha! American, Mahavir has arrived!"
*He looks around and spots the cameraman filming him. He points him out and approaches*
Mahavir: "Ah, you must be with the company, EWT, yes? Yes? Yes? Yes? Yes? Yes? Alright, you are from EWT. It is I, Mahavir Abha! The Bollywood Bigshot! The guru of glitz and--haha--glamour! And the newest--HOTTEST--EWT Superstar. How do I look, pretty slick, yes? I look like ah---what's his name--Richard Gere; minus the frailing star power and hamster. Ha-ha! I kid, I joke, I love his work. Loved him in "Runaway Bride"; so much comedy, drama, passion. Oh, I hope the limousine has room for one more. I brought a little something exotic along for the trip. OH JASMYNE!"
*Camera focuses back at the terminal, where the volumptous and exotic Jasmyne sashays in view, wearing a modified Sari dress (with the skirt extremely short and the top revealing much cleavage). She struts towards the camera and Mahavir with a seductive smile. Lowering his sunglasses, Mahavir looks at the camera with a sly grin*
Mahavir: "Like what you see, yes? I know you do." *turns to Jasmyne and wraps his arm around her waist; his hand resting on her hip* "Hello my sacred lotus."
Jasmyne: "Hello, baby."
Mahavir: "Give Maha a little something, something."
*Jasmyne kisses him on the cheek*
Mahavir: "Ah, that's good. Say hello to the camera, baby."
Jasmyne: *looking at the camera* "Hello to the camera, baby."
Mahavir: "HAHA! Beauty and wit! I love it! She is such a comedian. Just like Kramer, except without the racial tirade! Haha, I joke, I make fun, but it is all good. Alright Jasmyne, let us get out of this airport. Hey, wait. You like jokes, yes? Watch this..."
*Mahavir looks around with an eager expression*
Mahavir: *yelling at the top of his lungs* "BOMB! Haha, I always wanted to do that and..."
*His sentence is cut short when a pack of security guards come out of nowhere and tackle him. Jasmyne is left unharmed as she stands to the side, filing her nails.*
2 hours later...
*Jasmyne is seen waiting out front of the security room, doing what can only be explained as "looking really hot". Moments later, Mahavir comes out from the security room, frowning unpleasantly and walking in an awkward way*
Mahavir: "That was not a good joke. I should not have done that... at first I thought they were going to check my teeth but ah--boy, that was painful."
*Mahavir goes to sit down, but winces in pain before he parks himself. Jasmyne rushes to his side, concerned*
Jasmyne: "Honey, are you okay?"
Mahavir: "Yes, yes. That--It just brought back memories of the early days of my career. Some producers were tough to convince to get certain roles. It came at a... price, but I got the part."
Jasmyne: "Is there anything that can be done to make you feel better?"
Mahavir: "Well... the doctor did give me a prescription to do so?"
Jasmyne: "And what would that be?"
Mahavir: *quickly looks at the camera* "DANCING!!!"
*On cue, the entire airport turns into one gigantic dance number to the beat of bollywood-esque music. Moments later, Mahavir and Jasmyne head out of the airport where a limousine is waiting for them*
Mahavir: *in brighter spirits* "AAH! Just what the doctor ordered. Nothing better than an surely expensive but surely impromptu dance number. And you can expect plenty of when we arrive in EWT. Get ready, folks; You are about to be starstruck, Bollywood style!"
*he opens the passenger door to the limousine and stands aside for Jasmyne*
Mahavir: "Ladies first, my sexual tiger!"
*Jasmyne smiles and gets into the limo slowly; bending over as she does and enabling Mahavir and the camera to get an excellent view of her backside. Mahavir looks at the camera and smiles*
Mahavir: "Like what you see, yes?"
He enters the limo and the vehicle drives away.
Mahavir Abha & Jasmyne are coming soon...
|
|
|
Post by S-Chrome on Feb 10, 2007 22:20:59 GMT -5
*The EWT Headquarters, home of the high salaries and low tolerance for losing. The place where champions were crowned and perennial jobbers were viciously kicked in the nuts. Outside of the complex, everything appears to be fine and dandy. Onlookers pass on by without a care, EWT employees and staff members enter the building, showing identification cards along the way. Everything seems to be in tip-top shape.
Right?
In an instant, a black and white stretch limosine appears on the scene. In fact, limosine wouldn't exactly cover the bet. It was more like an elastic limosine that appeared on the scene. In fact, it was so large in length, one could probably have one or two corner offices fit into there. Either it's a big boss, high up in the hierarchy of the EWT, or it's some big star that came to say hello. The driver of the limo gains clearance from the security guard and continues into the vast parking lot.
Once the wheelman selects a suitable spot to park, he slowly steps out of the monstrosity of a limo and takes a long, long, loooong walk over to the back of the limosine. Who is this man within the walls of the limosine?
Once the driver opens the door, not one, but two men hop outside of the more-then expensive vehicle. One is about six feet tall, wearing a tailor-made black and white pinstriped suit. He looks as if he's ready to conduct business. The other is much taller and heavier in build and is decked out casually if nothing. After taking a look at their surroundings, the larger man speaks first.*
Zimmerman [/u] "So this is EWT headquarters? Looks a little small to me, Stups." *The smaller man, as known to his running buddy as "Stups" is none other than...* Schroeder[/u] "Dude, I told you not to call me 'Stups', man!" *The larger man quickly apologizes for his slip-up.* Zimmerman[/u] "My fault, Schroeder. So... what do you think of your newest playground, eh?" Schroeder[/u] "It's a little less than what I thought. But then again, I bet you this dope holding the camera thought that you were the superstar and I was the minor league guy!" *With a haughty laugh, Schroeder walks ahead of his taller compatriot. It takes about five seconds for Zimmerman to get the joke.* Zimmerman[/u] "Hey, Schroeder. That ain't right!" Schroeder[/u] "Well, Zach Zimmerman, my bigger, stronger, and severly less intelligent friend. Not a lot of things are right. I mean, here I am in front of EWT headquarters and I am so[/i[ not impressed. Hell, that's not supposed to be right for a supposed 'wide-eyed' rookie, am I right?"
*Zimmerman nods.*
Schroeder[/u] "I mean, I'm twenty-three years old and I've already got the mindset of... oh, who the hell am I kidding? People will definitely take me for a joke at first... but in less time than it takes for you to figure out what six squared is, Zim, I will be on the very top of EWT. And the masses will not exactly why I am... Stupendous Sterling Schroeder. Let's go, Double Z." *The camera pans toward Schroeder as he enters the large building. It then zooms back to a stationery Zach Zimmerman, who's still looks as if he's trying to think things through.* Zimmerman[/u] "Hey, Schroeder. Six squared is 36!" *He hurries after Schroeder as the camera fades.* "Prepared to be Stupified by the Stupendous One Coming Soon.*[/center]
|
|
Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
|
Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Feb 11, 2007 1:22:46 GMT -5
*Fade into a black screen with the white words*
“RPITAR Pre-show”
*A fade into a black screen, and more words appear.*
“Meet the Posse: Photo signings with Axel & Jobby”
*Fade into view with Axel in jeans, a “Q & A” T-shirt, and his trademark shades. You can tell that he is staring just left of the camera to read a cue card.*
Axel: *in a very bored and monotone voice* Okay well, we are just hours anyway from the PPV. Where Dorf will have his grudge match with Ape in a deathmatch, Eddie Omega will attempt to make his destiny come true against Malestrom, and the Rumble itself where many will compete for the chance at EWT Royalty. With a line up like that, is sure to be a great show so don't deny yourself such a great show. Order now.
*He stops reading and takes a swig from a water bottle.*
Axel: Okay, now that my required shilling is done... It's time to start this farce.
*One of the bouncer-like guard coughs and glares at Axel.*
Axel: *sigh* It's time to start the Wrestle Posse Autograph Pre-show. Since my tag partner Jobby is on the other side of the arena, and the fact that there's only one camera, I'm going to be the only one doing this Pre-show. So let my fans flock to me!
*One of the guards walk over and lift the ropes to let the fans come to Axel. Yet, nobody's in line for Axel. He stares at the guards and looks around for any fans.*
Axel: Uh... This is the right time, right No Neck?
Guard A: *glare* Yes...
Axel: And there are signs telling everyone I'm here in the left entrance wing, right Number Two?
Guard 2: *glares as well* Maybe nobody wants to meet your untalented ass.
Axel: I'm sorry that my ass isn't as talented as your boyfriend's, No Neck, is but I find that most of the ladies don't mind.
Guard 1: Watch yourself, or I'll...
Axel: You'll what? Be forced to pound my ass or some other pseudo homo erotic tough guy line?
Guard Beta: *grinding teeth* Look, we're just doing our jobs.
Axel: Clearly, not well enough. I'm supposed to be banned from the building, yet here I am inside.
The Artist Formerly Known as Guard Delta: Look, because of the chance of rain, all outside events had to be moved inside.
Axel: I've always preferred rainy days to sunny days anyway.
*To both guards shock, someone actually shows up to see Axel. While Axel should be happy to see a fan, he is a little annoyed that it is a little girl. Apparently, she came without any parents because she is by herself.*
Axel: *in his best grade school teacher voice* Hello, little girl... What's your name?
Girl: Hi.
Axel: Yes, hello... Did you want me to sign something or perhaps take a picture with me?
Girl: Hi.
Axel: ...Okay... Um... Did you just want to talk to me?
Girl: Hi.
Axel: You've already said that.
Girl: Hi.
Axel: Are you wanting anything from me?
Girl: Hi.
Axel:...
Girl: Hi.
*Axel looks at the guards.*
Axel: Quite a broken record, huh?
Guard T (Not to be confused with Guard Q): *pleased with Axel's annoyance* Boss says you can't turn away any fan.
Axel: Of course... *to the Girl* How about a 8x10 of me for me to sign for you? Would you like that?
Girl: Hi.
Axel: WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
Girl: Hi.
*Axel looks heavily flustered by this constant repeat of “Hi”, his patience looks to be about gone. While all this is going on, another fan found Axel's table and quietly stares at his bandage. He can't help but address the woman that is staring at him.*
Axel: Excuse me, miss, do you know this little girl?
Female Fan: No.
Axel: *sigh*
Girl: Hi.
*Suddenly Axel gets an idea.*
Axel: Hey, if you go to the right entrance wing you'll find my tag partner Jobby...
Girl: JOBBY!!!!
*Everyone holds their ears from the sound of the girl's screams.*
Axel: OK!!! IF YOU'RE QUIET I'LL MAKE SURE YOU'LL MEET HIM!
*The girl shuts her mouth quickly and looks at Axel intently. Axel uncaps a pen and grabs a Napkin.*
Axel: Yes, just give me your name and I'll make sure you can meet Jobby.
Girl: JO-
Axel: YOUR NAME PLEASE!
Girl: *giggles* All you had to say was please, Mr. Axel...
Axel: ... Okay, please just give me your name.
Girl: I'm Ashley Peterson and I love Jobby!
*Axel quickly writes a “front of the line pass” for the little girl, if not to make her happy but to make her leave. He hands the napkin to her.*
Axel: Look, just give that to one of the attendants at Jo... My partner's section and you'll be sure to make him.
Ashley Peterson: Okay!
Axel: Oh, did you want something from me?
Ashley Peterson: No, I hate you.
*She skips off, in search of Jobby.*
Axel: Nice... Well, at least she's gone. Next in line please.
*The staring female fan walks up to Axel, still looking questioningly at his bandage. Wanting to make this quick, he has a picture of himself ready to sign with pen in hand.*
Axel: Hello, what's your name?
Female Fan: My name's Rafen. Rafen Menola.
Axel: That's an interesting name...
*He goes to sign the picture.*
Rafen Menola: I don't want an autograph... But I'd like to ask a question.
Axel: Sure, shoot.
Rafen Menola: You're not really hurt, are you?
Axel: What?
Rafen Menola: I mean, your “wound” there. It's fake, right?
Axel: Beg your pardon?
Rafen Menola: You're not REALLY hurt... It's all an act, isn't it?
Axel: ... I got hit with a expensive Champagne bottle, and was busted open. Of course I was hurt.
Rafen Menola: Yeah, but I mean you just used fake blood and a prop bottle.
Axel: Miss... I assure you, I have stitches above my left eye. They are real and that was my REAL blood coming from my very REAL cut on my forehead.
Rafen Menola: Oh come on, I know how it's all fake. You don't have to pretend around me.
Axel: ...Yeah... I'm not sure what you're getting at.
Rafen Menola: Watch, I'll prove that it's fake.
*She leans over the table and slaps Axel's bandaged forehead.*
Axel: OWWW! WHAT THE HELL!?
Rafen Menola: You're good, I'll give you that.
Axel: LOOK, DO YOU WANT SOMETHING OR DO YOU JUST GET OFF ON SCREWING WITH PEOPLE?!
Rafen Menola: Hmm! I like your partner better! At least he's entertaining and nice!
*She storms off.*
Axel: Women... *to the guards* Am I right, fel.... I'm sorry, I forgot.
*As the guards steel themselves from attacking Axel, another fan walks up to the table.*
Wayne Ferguson: Hello, Axel I'm Wayne Ferguson.
*Axel again uncaps his pen and is just about to put pen to photo.*
Axel: Hey Wayne, you want it to be formal or personal?
Wayne Ferguson: Don't bother with that, I already have your signature from when you were at NJW watching Jobby lose the Top Draw Title. Don't you remember?
Axel: Uh... I meet a lot of people, so it's hard to remember faces.
Wayne Ferguson: Remember I was the guy that said you were bound for EWT to tag with Jobby and you waved it off like a joke?
Axel: Ah... Maybe...
Wayne Ferguson: And then I said the reason that you haven't been introduced was due to liscensing issues in Japan.
Axel: Yeah... I'm starting to remember you....
Wayne Ferguson: So do you like it in EWT, despite the glass ceiling that is keeping you buried in the tag division?
Axel: What?
Wayne Ferguson: You know, how you've be forced to job to bad wrestlers like Cryme Tyme.
Axel: I'm not getting you...
Wayne Ferguson: *whispering* Look, I'm a true fan... You don't have to kayfabe around me.
Axel: Kay-what?
Wayne Ferguson: I happen to know that you're miserable here! I mean look at your shirt, it has your old tag team on it!
Axel: Yeah... It was my only decent shirt to wear.
Wayne Ferguson: Aren't you the least bit upset that the office thinks that you can't get over without that no talent Jobby?
Axel: Over what?
Wayne Ferguson: I KNOW THE BIZ! You don't have to lie to me!
Axel: Dude, I'm not-
Wayne Ferguson: I know that your real name is William Axel Richinton!
Axel: Ah no... It's Axel Halaway... That's what's on my birth cer-
Wayne Ferguson: AGAIN! YOU DON'T HAVE TO KAYFABE AROUND ME! I KNOW!
Axel: ...sure... Whatever...
*Jobby walks up behind Axel, listening intently to the dialogue.*
Wayne Ferguson: Aren't you also upset that you don't get to work as well as you once did in the ring?
Axel: Right now, I'm 2 for 3 in matches so I'm pretty good... I think.
Wayne Ferguson: Pfft! Wins don't mean anything over Jobbers!
Jobby: What?
*Both Wayne Ferguson and Axel turn to see Jobby.*
Axel: What are you doing here? Shouldn't you by at your station?
*Jobby goes to say something but is interrupted by Wayne Ferguson.*
Wayne Ferguson: It's because he gets ten breaks during any autograph segment.
Axel: WHAT?! REALLY?!
Jobby: Yep!
Axel: How did you get in here?
*Wayne Ferguson goes to say something, but Jobby says it before him.*
Jobby: A private, secret door. It's in my contract.
Axel: Secret door? And TEN breaks? I DON'T EVEN GET ONE!
Wayne Ferguson: You see! The office is holding you down! And you aren't even on the card! And what's worse I happen to know, from a very reliable source, it's your birthday soon!
Jobby: It is?!
Axel: What? NO! My birthday is in Ma-
Wayne Ferguson: I have your birth certificate saved on my computer! I know!
Axel: ....But my birthday is in-
Jobby: What day is it?!
Wayne Ferguson: The 20th of this month!
Jobby: I'm going to go prepare something for it!!!
Axel: What?! Jay, it's not my birthday! JAY?!
*Jobby throws down a pellet and smoke lifts up.*
Axel: WHAT THE HELL JAY?!
Jobby: It's not a secret if everyone knows where it is!
*The smoke lifts and Jobby is gone.*
Wayne Ferguson: See! The management is holding you down by placing you with that goof!
Axel: Look, are you done here?
Wayne Ferguson: What? You afraid of the truth?
Axel: You know what, I am. I'm afraid of half truths and flat out lies!
Wayne Ferguson: You know what?! I'll remember this and post on my forum about how much a jerk you really are!!!
Axel: Be sure to leave out details, whenever possible.
*Wayne Ferguson starts walking away, but he turns for one last comment.*
Wayne Ferguson: I was starting to hate you anyway! Your work rate and ring psychology has gone downhill anyway!
*Axel turns to the guards.*
Axel: ... Did either of you understand anything that he said?
Guard Number Orange: No idea...
Axel: Nor did I.
*Just out of the corner of Axel's eye, he sees Jobby walking over to his table. But it is easily apparent that this guy isn't really Jobby. The real Jobby has longer hair and isn't 5'8”, but that does stop a few people from thinking that he is the real Jobby.*
Axel: Oh...my...gawd....
Jobby Impersonator: Hello, Axel! It's me, Jay!
Axel: ...Jobby doesn't call himself Jay.
Jobby Impersonator: Ah, my mistake! But I did a real good job, didn't I?
Axel: ...Doing what?
Jobby Impersonator: Why playing Jobby of course!
Axel: ...Did you want an autograph or something?
Jobby Impersonator: I'll take a photo with you and then have it signed after words.
Axel: Alright.
*Axel stands up and motions for a guard to take his photo and the Jobby Impersonator wraps his arm around Axel.*
Jobby Impersonator: You know that Jobby's the best wrestler ever, right?
Axel: Ah...sure...
Jobby Impersonator: And that you're lucky to be his tag partner, right?
Axel: *sarcastically* Oh yes, I'm very lucky.
Jobby Impersonator: Did you know that he loves the 80s?
Axel: He makes it well known.
Jobby Impersonator: He's the funniest guy ever, you know?
Axel: He's quite a card...
Jobby Impersonator: Jobby's my favorite wrestler, you know?
Axel: It's apparent.
Jobby Impersonator: He's a future EWT Champion. I just know it!
Axel: ...Look, did you want to get this picture over with?
*They smile for a picture and the guard hands over the picture. Axel goes to grab that the picture but the Jobby Impersonator grabs it and begins to write on it. He hands it to Axel, after he's done, and walks away. Axel starts to read out loud.*
Axel: “To my biggest fan, Axel Halaway... Seamus McGillicutty... Professional Jobby Impersonator.”
*He casts the photo aside.*
Axel: Well, it looks like all the looneys have come out for this event...
*Suddenly, a girl dressed like what would be best described as a fangirl for Axel.*
Kate Harris: AXEL!!! IT'S ME!!! YOUR BIGGEST FAN!!! KATE HARRIS!!!
*His response is quick.*
Axel: ...The restraining order has been lifted I take it, Kate?
Kate Harris: What order?
*Kate goes to hug Axel and the guards step up to stop her, he waves them off.*
Axel: Never mind, how's everything been?
Kate Harris: Not so good. First your teaming with a weirdo!
*Jobby pops in out of nowhere.*
Jobby: I'm here!
Axel: Another break, I take it?
Jobby: Yep!
*Kate Harris doesn't even try to hide her dislike of Jobby.*
Kate Harris: And the other reason is that you still haven't returned to Japan to Juri!?
Jobby: Who?
*Axel looks to be sweating.*
Axel: It's nothing!
Kate Harris: HOW CAN YOU CALL HER NOTHING?!
Axel: I didn't mean it that way!
Jobby: Her?
Axel: It's nothing!
Kate Harris: STOP SAYING THAT!!!
Axel: SORRY!
Kate Harris: You need to get back together!!!
*She's crying now.*
Kate Harris: You two were so cute together! You belong to each other!
Axel: Look.... Can we talk about this later?
Jobby: ...So why haven't I heard of this yet?
Axel: Because it's none of your business!
Jobby: Hmm... Between your birthday coming up soon and this? What else are you hiding?
Axel: NOTHING!
*Jobby looks at his swatch watch.*
Jobby: WHOOPS, Break over!
*He throws down a smoke pellet again.*
Axel: DAMMIT JAY!
Jobby: SECRET DOOR!
*Jobby's gone, only Kate Harris, the guards, and Axel is left. It appears that another guy is in line now.*
Kate Harris: Up coming birthday?
Axel: Yeah....
Kate Harris: But your birthday is May 25...
Axel: I know.... Look, here's my cell number...
Kate Harris: REALLY?!
Axel: Keep it secret, okay?!
Kate Harris: ...Look, I'm a big fan of yours... But nobody will really want this other than me.
*Axel seems to sink lower into his chair.*
Axel: Thanks...
Kate Harris: Oh, I got to go! I got floor tickets!
*She pouts.*
Kate Harris: That I bought to see you in the ring!
*She walks away, turning to wave at Axel a few times. The guy in line walks up to the table, he has his face painted Red.*
Axel: Hello, may I...
Kel Terkmahjerb: I'm Kel Terkmahjerb, and I think that you are a complain and/or rude female!
Axel: Thanks?
Kel Terkmahjerb: You're a coward!
Axel: ...Okay, bye.
*Axel looks off in the distance past him.*
Kel Terkmahjerb: Listen to me when I'm talking to you!
Axel: Why?
Kel Terkmahjerb: Because I'm calling you out!
Axel: ....Why?
Kel Terkmahjerb: Because you may have ruined Redface Rodger's chances at the Rumble!
Axel: Who?
Kel Terkmahjerb: The guy that kicked your ass!
Axel: Who?
Kel Terkmahjerb: The guy who's been training with Eddie Omega!
Axel: Who?
Kel Terkmahjerb: The guy...who you beat up with a chair.
Axel: Oh yeah, that loser.
Kel Terkmahjerb: He'd kick your ass in a fair fight! He's stronger than you.
Axel: And dumber than me too.
Kel Terkmahjerb: Look you! You're had problems with TJT and small guys. He'd tear you limb from limb, if you didn't attack him from behind!
Axel: ... I'm sorry, your face is distracting...
Kel Terkmahjerb: I painted my face red to show my support for Redface!
Axel: I though you just painted it to match your neck.
Kel Terkmahjerb: Why you!!! I'll... LET GO OF ME!!!
*After the guards have pulled a raving Kel Terkmahjerb away, a fat and ugly slob walks up to the autograph table.*
Bubba Jones: Hello, Mr. Halaway... My name is Bubba Jones. I hear you are giving out free autographs.
Axel: You heard right, Bubba.
Bubba Jones: That's Mr. Jones.
Axel: No, I believe your first name is Bubba.
Bubba Jones: Yes... Well, I'd like you to sign some things for me.
Axel: Things?
*Bubba Jones pulls out a big binder, inside are many EWT star pictures. He flips to his Axel Halaway section and starts to pull out a few pictures.*
Bubba Jones: Sign these for starters.
*Axel, while not liking Bubba's tone, takes a picture of his younger self and writes on it: "To my fan, Bubba Jon-".*
Bubba Jones: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Axel: *blankly* I'm signing a picture like you said.
Bubba Jones: Not like that stupid! You're not supposed to make it personal!
Axel: Why exactly?
Bubba Jones: Because then they're worthless!
Axel: So you are one of those guys that gets free signatures and then sells them to true fans for a large sum of money?
Bubba Jones: Of course, how else can I make a living?
Axel: How about getting off your fat ass and actually working?
Bubba Jones: Look, I don't tell you how to do your job and you don't have to right to talk about mine! Now shut up and sign these photos, it's your job!
Axel: You're right... I'm sorry... Here, give me the most expensive pictures and I will sign them...
Bubba Jones: That's more like it!
*Bubba hands Axel a rare photo of himself holding the HWI California Title. Axel smiles, then writes “To eBay, Famous Person's Name Here" on the picture.*
Bubba Jones: WHAT DID YOU DO!?
Axel: I did simply what you wanted. I made it formal for you.
Bubba Jones: YOU RUINED IT!!!
Axel: *mock concern* I did?
Bubba Jones: YES!
Axel: Opps. Oh well.
*As Axel continues to torture Bubba Jones some more, TJT walk into the autograph room, Terina between Jim and Jason Jason is holding a gift basket of some kind.*
Jupiter: Ah, it's great to be with what we ain't.
Thunder: How's that?
Terina: Well, it's great to show off what we have...and what they don't.
Jupiter: It's a fine thing to reinforce our presence among them. We don't want is to be forgotten....ever.
Thunder: Yeah. That's suck pretty hard. *Sees Axel and points to him.* Hey, there he is. Let's pay our old "friend" a visit.
*Before Axel can finish up torturing Bubba, TJT cut in the rather short line and make their way to the front of the table. Jupiter puts down the basket.*
Jupiter: Well well well, if it isn't our good buddy "Assel" Halaway. *Thunder and Jupiter begin to chuckle under their breath.*
Terina: How's life treatin' you? Oh, wait. Not very good, I guess. After all, you're stuck with your buddy that seems to breathe prozac.
*TJT and Axel look over at Jobby's table direction; In Axel's mind, he can picture Jobby waving at all four of them excitedly. The four turn their heads back.*
Terina: And then there's that head injury of yours.
Thunder: A fine piece of work on my part, if I do say so myself.
Jupiter: Yeah, it put him from being on the "meh" card to being on skid row with these people.
Terina: We love reminding them of what they aren't, but--
Bubba: Can you three sign these pictures I have?
Terina: *rolling eyes* Anyway, Axel, we love reminding people of what they aren't, but--
Bubba: C'mon, I need to sell these. Can you sign 'em?
Thunder: YOU shut up. Can't you see the lady's talkin'?
Bubba: Can you just sign these? I've gotta go. Besides, there's a bunch of people that want you three to sign their autographs.
*Bubba steps to the side, revealing a much longer line, seeming to have been formed shortly after TJT's arrival at Axel's table. Axel seems highly suprised by this, his mouth hanging wide open. Thunder, Jupiter and Terina all look at one another for a moment.*
Terina: Eh, sure. Why not. Who am I making this out to?
Bubba: Nobody in particular. I gotta sell these. That's what I do for a living.
*Thunder and Jupiter look back and forth at each other for a few seconds, then turn back to face Bubba.*
Terina: Alright, fine, fine. Give me the pictures. Jimmy and Jason will do the same.
Jupiter: We will?!
Thunder: Yeah, sure we will. *Elbow nudges Jupiter.* Right, Jason?
Jupiter: Oh yeah, sure. Whatever...
*Bubba hands the three of them pens and pulls out various pictures of the three(in ring and otherwise). TJT sign the pictures.*
Bubba: Thanks, you guys are.....uh......er....*leaves.*
Jupiter: Well finally HE is gone.
Terina: We've still got more fans. Sign some more, boys. I'll do the same.
*TJT sign pictures from around 10 or 15 different people, but then abruptly stop. Terina adresses the crowd.*
Terina: Alright, we're finished, everybody. *Turning back to Axel.* We've got to go soon. Axel we will sh-
Random Dude: LEEEEEEERRROOOOOOYYYYYYYY...JEEEEENNNNNNKKKINNNNNNSSSSS! *A guy runs by, flailing his arms. TJT and Axel stare all stare at the madman, turn to speak, then look back at the dude.*
*Pause*
Axel: ...Yeah....
Terina: Um...nevermind.
Thunder: Yeah, after him, we're outta here.
Jupiter: Seriously. What a dumbass.
Terina: Still, before we leave, we've got something for you. *Pulls out basket and places it on the table.* Alright guys, let's go. You two have a match to win.
*The three continue talking, their voices gradually trailing off. Axel goes to signs a few autographs, but it seems nobody is at his table now.*
Axel: Hmmm.
*Axel opens the wrapping from the basket, and notices a bunch of fruit and candy inside.*
Axel: That's not so bad.
*Axel digs out a pear from under a few fruits, but before he takes a bite out of it, notices something green and shiny. He spreads the nearby fruits away.*
Axel: What the--
*Revealed from under the fruit is a glass bottle of champagne, the exact same brand and type as what Thunder smashed over his head.*
Axel: *growling* DAMMIT!
*He throws the pear held in his hand into the wall, and it violently squashes on the wall. A guy that was going over to him quickly changes his direction and heads over to Jobby's table.*
Man: What is HIS problem? Ugh, why can't he be like his partner?
Axel: AGH!
*Axel swipes the basket off the table, the bottle shattering along with splattering fruits, all over the floor.*
Axel: I guarantee, that you will lose this Rumble... One way or another!
*And the beginning video for EWT's Royal Pain In The Ass Rumble begins.*
|
|