Post by Toom E. Guci on Jul 10, 2007 14:07:26 GMT -5
Announcer: Give it up for AC DC!!!!!!
Back in black, I hit the sack, I've been too long, I'm glad to be back Yes I'm let loose from the noose, That's kept me hangin' about I been livin like a star 'cause it's gettin' me high, Forget the hearse, 'cause I never die I got nine lives, cat's eyes abusing every one of them and running wild
'Cause I'm back! Yes, I'm back! Well, I'm back! Yes, I'm back! Well, I'm baaack, baaack... Well, I'm back in black, Yes, I'm back in black!
Back in a band,i got Cadillac, Number one with a bullet, I'm a power pack Yes I'm in a band with a gang, they gotta catch me if they want me to hang 'Cause I'm back on the track and I'm beatin' the flack, Nobody's gonna get me on another rap So look at me now, I'm just a makin' my pay, Don't try to push your luck, just get outta my way
'Cause I'm back! Yes, I'm back! Well, I'm back! Yeah, I'm back! Well, I'm baaack, baaack... Well, I'm back in black, Yes, I'm back in black! Let's go!
Well, I'm back! Yes, I'm back! Well, I'm back! Yes, I'm back! Well, I'm baaack, baaack... Well, I'm back in black, Yes, I'm back in black-ow!
Aww yeah! Let's go! Keep on goin'! Yeah yeah! Yeah... aww yeah yeah! Here we go!
Well, I'm baaack... (I'm back!) Baaack... (Well, I'm back!) Baaack... (I'm back!) Baaack... (I'm back!) Baaack... (I'm back!) Baaack... Yes, back in black, Yes, I'm back in black...
*And we cut to a shot of the door reading Toom E Dangerously.*
*We are backstage in the locker room and Maelstrom is standing at the back next to one of the metal lockers, his face can't be seen. As we get nearer we can see Maelstrom's muscles are very tense and his hair still wet from the showers. He packs his things into his locker, before closing it and walks towards the exit. As he leaves he notices one locker with a name on it, Ratings*
We can hear the crowd aubily 'oooh'
*Maelstrom tenses even more and then lets out a primal roar and smashes his fist into Ratings locker, he then leaves. Looking back at the locker, it now has a huge dent in it.*
<Footage from Brazil shows a short montage of shots, each depicting the mysterious figure Spectre at different places during different matches>
<In some, he is in his usual seat near the entrance ramp, while in others, he can be seen hanging from a lighting tower, or milling about near the crowd. His eyes never betray any emotions, and his body language tells absolutely nothing>
<Present time, Spectre is already in the arena, near the lockerroom area, stretching and wrapping athletic tape around his arms, perhaps in preparation.>
"[Spectre] is a well-defined shadow cast by the Sun into the clouds. This phenomenon is often accompanied by colorful circular bands, which center on the point opposite to the Sun from the observer. These rainbow-like rings are called a glory and are reflections off of water droplets, much like a rainbow."
*The camera fades to show an infirmary backstage with Juri Sadamoto sitting on an observation table. She holds an ice pack to the back of her neck, looking greatly fatigued. It's not hard to figure out why. After the hard fought match with Karma, one has to wonder how she's even conscious at this point. A figure walks into view whose mere sight causes the fiery Joshi to roll her eyes.*
“I'm Sum Guy, and I literally have nothing to do after hours!”
*Juri holds the pack on the back of her neck as she casts an annoyed look at Sum. She opens her mouth to speak.*
BR: *Very pained and hoarse* Sum.... Don't....you...have.....somewhere else you go....?
Sum Guy: Nope!
Sum Guy: I just wanted to get your opinion on each of the GND competitors that made it to the second round!
BR: .....Sum.... If you have a heart....... you will.....leave right now......
Sum Guy: I can't. For three reasons!
Sum Guy: One is that I don't have a heart! I've had it taken from me by Candy Girl.
BR: *Sends him daggers* .............
Sum Guy: And I was told by the powers that be that I was supposed to get your opinion on your future opponents!
BR: ...........and what was..... number three?
Sum Guy: You sound like that chick Raven from Teen Titans and it's really turning my crank!
BR: ................I swear.........once I get my strength back........ I'm going to get you......for that.
Sum Guy: *Ignoring her* I know! How about you give your thoughts on your match with Karma!?
BR: *Insightful* ..............The match doesn't.........belong to me............sure.......I got the........victory...........But Karma...............she's a monster..............that match...............was hers........
Sum Guy: *Ignoring her comments* So, your thoughts on the GND quarter finals!? *Shoving the mic in her face.*
BR: *Angered* ......I.......only..........know that Synthy won hers........... *Pause* Who won the........others?
Sum Guy: Madison the Clown Girl and Terina!
BR: I see........ Well..... I was hoping to face Lily......But there....goes........that..........
Post by The Bad Man on Jul 12, 2007 6:46:24 GMT -5
*Meanwhile just outside Toomi's Office Mr. Bad is watching footage of Big and Bad's match at the PPV against Raftshack. Mr. Bad's bald head drips with sweat as his body mass blocks out most of the light int he hallway. He watches, grinning his yellow teeth when ever he is seen hurting Zeleke or Faboon, but seems to get angry everytime Mr. Big appears in the match. Sum Guy approaches Mr. Bad for an interview ... probably not a good idea.*
SUM GUY: Hello everyone I'm Sum guy and I've been given a brand new BMW as a reward for all my work at EWT. Must have cost someone a pretty penny that's for sure!
*An angry scream can be heard from behind Toomi's door!*
SUM GUY: Yes .. er anyway I'm here with Mr. Bad who was invovled in the match at Soundless Dawn with ....
*Mr. Bad has seen Sum and has waddled over to him and is now leaning over him, his gnarled hands digging into Sum Guy's shoulders.*
MR. BAD (Gurgling Raspy Voice): Fl-heh
SUM GUY: errr ... Mr. Bad you have been in the EWT for a few months now, yet no one really knows anything about you ...
MR. BAD (Gurgling Raspy Voice): Flehe ... Flheh ... I know I'd like to hurt you .. flheh ... oh yes ... I like to hurt everyone ...
*Mr. Bad is now clenching his fists and pressing into Sum Guy who is visibly in pain.*
MR. BAD (Gurgling Raspy Voice): Flheh ... I want you to feel the pain ... you to feel the anguish ... flheh ... Everyone to feel it .. flheh ... and know it ...
*Sum Guy struggles to speak*
SUM GUY: ... What, about your partner? ...
MR. BAD (Gurgling Raspy Voice): Them too, flheh. They just don't know it ... yet .. Flheh .. unlike you ....
*Mr. Bad presses down even harder and Sum Guy is crushed under the girth of the grotesque that is Mr. Bad.*
MR. BAD (Gurgling Raspy Voice): ... Fl-heh ...
*Sum Guy lies unconsicous on the floor as Mr. Bad looks down at him. A scorn of hate filled nastiness lingers on his face, before Mr. Bad slowly plods away his grotesque 400 + pound body fat glistening under the lighting.*
He is the Bad Man and demands your pain and suffering!!
*Lordi's "Blood Red Sandman" hits and River Blood appears, making his way to the ring*
Cole: What does he have in mind now?
JBL: If you weren't such a little twerp and would occasionally shut up, you might find out.
Cole: I love you too.
JBL: I hate you.
*River Blood grabs a mic*
River Blood: It has come to my attention that people, you know who you are, are mocking me behind my back. You are saying that I'm not for real, that I'm just some sad little jabroni who has painted himself red, ridiculing the way I look. Apparently I resemble one of those "generic" created wrestlers from Smackdown vs. RAW that appear on the Internet...
Cole: He kinda does, John. Have you seen all those "gothic" and "scary" wrestlers that WWE video game fans post on various websites, he looks just like them.
JBL: If it wasn't for this guy, everybody would be making differently colored versions of John Cena and Bobby Lashley. He is different.
River Blood: ...and quite frankly, I don't give a crap. This is the look I have had for years, this IS HOW I LOOK, period. You can mock my tattoos and clothing all you want, I don't care because this is what I am. If you have a problem with me, my appearance or my attitude, bring your little monkey ass in the ring and I will SWALLOW YOUR SOUL.
JBL: Come on, get in the ring, Cole! Tell him in his face how stupid you think he looks!
Cole: I'll pass, partner.
River Blood: I am issuing an open challenge for anyone in EWT who wants to go up against me. Go on and laugh if you wish. You may not have seen me in my prime, as all I have done here in EWT so far has only been light practice for me. I am a man who doesn't care about pain. I have fallen off 20-foot ladders and video screens through tables, fluorescent lightbulbs, barbed wire, exploding things and flesh-eating animals, and I will not hesitate to make you go through the same if you feel like opposing me or running your mouth at me. Once I have beaten you, I will happily bite off your jugular and drink your blood, because that is what I do.
Cole: Fighting words from River Blood. Is anyone going to answer his challenge?
River Blood: Anyone? Anyone want to challenge the Blood Red Sandman here in this ring? In a hardcore match? I thought so. If someone there in the locker room wants to fight me, go ahead and tell someone in charge that you want to be laid out in a puddle of your own red liquid. I will be waiting anxiously.
*River Blood throws the mic away and makes his way towards Cole and JBL*
Cole: Yes, we got it! What now?
*River Blood spews red mist all over Cole's face, causing him to tumble from his chair and onto the floor, JBL steps away. The Blood Red Sandman walks back up the entrance ramp and returns backstage*
Post by Toom E. Guci on Jul 12, 2007 23:43:01 GMT -5
*Toom E Dangerously sits at his desk, going over a stack over papers, while on the telephone.*
Geeze, what the hell did she do while I was gone? What the hell is this? $10,000 charge? For what? SHE DID WHAT?
Wait, hold on...tickets for Brazil? SHE HAD THE COMPANY PAY FOR THEM?? AND YOU PEOPLE OK'ED THIS?
FIRST F***ING CLASS?? LIMOSUINES FOR EVERYBODY?
What the hell were you thinking allowing this? I don't care if she was in charge for the month. That was a stupid match stipulation!!! You people weren't supposed to Ok this. BECAUSE SHE HAD A SPENDING ACCOUNT, THAT'S WHY YOU IDIOT!!!!!
Somebody's going to pay for all this. That's right, you heard me...SOMEBODY!!!!
*The arena goes pitch black with only the titantron visible.*
*"Fighter" by Candlefuse blasts across the loudspeakers.*
*Images of a man clad in street clothes are shown. He is seen wrestling several diverse opponents while demonstrating his arsenal. Such moves include: a springboard shooting star press onto two seperate performers outside of the ring, a moonsault off of a one-story balcony onto another different duo below, a springboard into a backcracker off of a ladder (adversary was climbing the aforementioned ladder), a DDT off of the side of a steel cage through a flaming table, and a face shot after just being given a double underhook facebuster onto thumbtacks. The final clip sees a challenger taking a stunner from the man in front of a Victoria, Texas crowd that erupts immediately.*
*The arena turns silent then goes dark again.*
*Finally, the man's dark brown eyes flash across the screen in glaring fashion.*
*"He's bringing sexy backhardcore wrestling to EWT", blinks once before everything else fades back to normal.*
Last Edit: Jul 13, 2007 11:44:38 GMT -5 by Hensley
*River Blood is walking backstage and runs into Todd Grisham*
Todd: River Blood, have you noticed that your challenge was answered?
River Blood: What? No. Tell me more or scram.
Todd: Well, you see... uh, you should probably take a look yourself. Your next opponent is right behind that door.
*River Blood opens the door nearby and sees The Great Khali*
River Blood: JESUS HORATIO CHRIST!
River Blood: O...kay, whatever you say, big man. (turns back in Grisham's direction) Well, this changes nothing. I don't speak Khaliese or whatever that language coming out of his mouth is, but you can tell him that I'm not afraid of him or his BRAIN CHOP.
River Blood: No, no, no, I didn't ask you to hit ME with the BRAIN CHOP, I was merely mentioning it. Just stay there, buddy, take it easy. No need to stress ourselves before our big match, right? Right? Eh, I'll see you in the ring. (whispers) I'll swallow your soul.
Todd: Okay... you've now met your opponent for your next match. How do you feel?
River Blood: How do I feel? How do I feel?! Go ahead and guess, you little miserable git! Of course, I am the Blood Red Sandman and I don't fear pain, pain fears me. Still, getting in the ring with a guy who happens to be the size of a delivery truck always means taking a chance. But you see, I'm not afraid. I can take on The Great Khali anywhere, any time. I'll make him see blood. Heh. Blood.
Post by Sigma: Current SRW Champ! on Jul 13, 2007 20:16:46 GMT -5
Tony Schiavone: We are here at the EWT Arena where a new wrestler is supposed to debut here in just a matter of moments. His name is Sigma "G.Q." Williams and he is one massive force from what I've read of him, Jesse.
Jesse Ventura: Well, Tony. Reading about him is one thing, but I witnessed him training at Mike Quackenbush's school and let me tell you one thing. Looks are truly deceiving when it comes to this guy.
Tony Schiavone: Sounds good to me, let's head down to the ring and Gary Michael Capetta.
GMC: (bell rings) Ladies and Gentlemen our next contest is set for one fall with a 15 minute time limit. Introducing first....(Saliva's I Walk Alone plays and crowd cheers) From Washington D.C., Weighing in at 290 pounds, Batista.
Tony Schiavone: Batista looking in great shape today, Jesse.
Jesse Ventura: One of the best bodies in the business today, but is truly lacking in the brains department. Let's go back to Capetta.
(Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode plays, crowd boos heavily)
GMC: And introducing his opponent. Hailing from Tacoma, Washington. Weighing 260 pounds, Sigma "G.Q." Williams!
Tony Schiavone: I already don't like this guy. He manipulated people into doing stuff they don't want to do. He ruined two relationships and made a guy sleep with another guy.
Jesse Ventura: Come off of it, Tony. He didn't force them to do those things, he just told them and sold them on those ideals.
Tony Schiavone: And now Sigma's got the stick.
Sigma "G.Q." Williams: My faithful followers. (Crowd boos) Today is the day where you will witness the utter destruction of one of your heroes, Batista. (boos get more audible, a-hole chants enter) I tell you this, after this match. You will no longer see this waste of humanity in your lives. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. It has been foreseen and will come to pass. Batista will fall, I will reign supreme.
Batista runs after Sigma. Sigma sidesteps and Batista hits the turnbuckle hard
Tony Schiavone: Batista's heard enough, but Sigma sidesteps the charge and he hit the turnbuckle hard.
Jesse Ventura: Like I said, nothing going on in the brains department.
Sigma starts going after the back of Batista, Batista winces in pain with each hit. Sigma then throws Batista to the ropes and clocks him with a Big Boot. Crowd really starts to let them have it.
Tony Schiavone: I'm starting to feel bad for Batista, who knew that Sigma could lift his foot up that high. And there he goes putting him in a surfboard, with the knees completely buried into the back of Batista.
Jesse Ventura: That's the way to take out the big man, make sure he's on the ground and take out the back, which limits his power game.
Sigma lets go and lifts Batista up and body slams him to the canvas. The crowd is getting pissed at this moment, little kids are weeping for Batista.
Tony Schiavone: Oh, Batista's hurt and hurt bad. Oh lord.
Jesse Ventura: Well, that's what happens and obviously Sigma's done his homework. Batista is grounded and he's going back to work on the back.
Sigma goes up to the top rope and pulls off a picture perfect Senton Bomb onto the back of Batista.
Tony Schiavone: Senton Bomb onto Batista by Sigma. Batista is screaming out in pain.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma has him hurting, he should go for the pin now and get the victory.
Sigma goes for the pin. 1......2......He pulls up Batista. Waving his finger meaning he's not done with him. The crowd is starting to get unruly.
Tony Schiavone: What a sign of arrogance there, pulling up Batista when he could easily have won.
Jesse Ventura: I don't understand it either, maybe he wants to hurt him some more.
Sigma lifts up Batista and crotches him on the turnbuckle, Sigma climbs up the turnbuckle.
Tony Schiavone: Now what is Sigma trying to do here?
Jesse Ventura: I saw this at the school, Tony and let me assure you, it's not going to end well for Batista.
Sigma lifts him into a piledriver hold, then jumps off and does a Spinning Tombstone Piledriver to the canvas below. The crowd goes deathly silent.
Tony Schiavone: What was that?!!
Jesse Ventura: A little something Sigma calls the God's Wrath. It was a move that his reverend father taught him when he was young. Batista is out like a light.
Sigma then covers him.
Tony Schiavone: One, Two, Three. Batista is out cold.
Jesse Ventura: Told ya, Tony. If Batista had any brains, he wouldn't have signed up for this match. And now look at him, he's probably out of action for at least a year. His back is hurt and looks like his neck is broken.
Tony Schiavone: It certainly looks that way, let's go to Gary.
GMC: (Bell Rings) Ladies and gentlemen. You're winner.....Sigma "G.Q." Williams.
(Personal Jesus plays, Crowd boos heavily)
Tony Schiavone: The fans not taking too kindly to Sigma. He just crushed Batista.
Jesse Ventura: Stand aside Tony as I do the replay.
(replay is shown)
Here you see Sigma come off the top rope in fine fashion with a picture perfect Senton Bomb on the back of Batista. He could finish him off there, but no. He takes him to the top rope and delivers his patented finish, the Gods Wrath. He covers Batistas' limp body for the 1, 2, and 3. Sigma wins and Tony is with Sigma right now.
Tony Schiavone: A deplorable act as Batista is being stretchered off, he probably won't be back ever again. I'm right here with Sigma "G.Q." Williams. You're not saddened by this outcome?
Sigma "G.Q." Williams: Why should I be mourning the destruction of David Batista?
Tony Schiavone: You injured Batista so heavily and he won't be able to return for a good while.
Sigma "G.Q." Williams: It comes with the territory of this chosen profession that we have. If he is willing to get into the ring with me, then he is purposely putting himself out there to get seriously injured. I've been injured before, so has your broadcast colleague over there. It's part of the job description and he got hurt. Not only that, I don't feel any remorse for anybody. We all are on a path destined to lead us to the end. Right now, my path clearly shows me winning the EWT Heavyweight championship. So, I'm looking straight in your face Michael Ragnal. Be forewarned. The prophecy states that I will be taking that belt from you, and there is nothing that you can do to stop Sigma "G.Q." Williams from achieving his destiny. Now, excuse me Anthony Schiavone. I have some other business to attend to.
Tony Schiavone: Haunting words from Sigma. We'll be back after this time out.
Post by Mella Drom Attoc on Jul 13, 2007 22:36:45 GMT -5
*Cue backstage. A person sees a rich-looking room, filled with expensive-looking- but a hell of a lot of ugly- objects. Mella Drom Attoc, in all her pink loser glory, is curled up in an equally pink cushy couch. She looks for all the world to be near crying.*
“Darling, what is the matter? Is it this shatter......ed vase?”
*From a velvet curtain comes the certified loser from Off Broadway, Lull Songstra. He wrapped in a "fine" silk robe.*
Mella: *The teary-eyed Mella looks up from stare.* How...LULL...I fell..so..so...failtastic!
*He "smoothly" swoops in next to her and pats her head.*
Lull: Only that Terina girl is full of fail... Just look how she to you pales!
Mella: Oh, Lull! *Her hand latches to her forehead in a classic Soap Opera moment. She closes her eyes and a choking sob escapes.* I was..bruised in that match! That evil jock...
*Lull looks like he screwed up his chance at pleasing her.*
Lull: NO! THAT MURDEROUS CUR! YOU SHOULD SUE HER AND MAKE HER GO "BUR!"
Mella:.........Darling......I feel...*She sucks in a breath, and looks at Lull with horror* ...*She whispers her next phrase: ..Inadequate....
Lull: NO! THAT WORD DOESN'T EVEN COME CLOSE TO YOU! Self concerned maybe... BUT INADEQUATE!? THAT IS FITTING ONLY FOR TRUE FAILURES.... Like me.
*Mella's head snaps up, her hand landing on Lull's shoulder.*
Mella: Oh DARLING..don't say that! That isn't true at all!
Lull: But I failed to capture the Stable titles for our glorious group! I am not fit for you... And definitely not for Tim! Mella: You had a minor set back..That is -so- all! And Tim...well..he does have his bad days..no matter how glorious of a team you two are. Besides..you could probably make an award-winning melancholic song from it..dearheart...
Lull: You maybe right... AND WHAT'S MORE... You're far more beautiful than that Terina boar! AND AS WELL, I SHOULD GET DR. HELL! THE BEST BRUISE DOCTOR IN THE LAND! THE PLACE OF OCEAN AND SAND!
Mella: Oh dearest! Look at it! See the horrible coloring it has taken? *She sticks out a leg, and points on the left side of her calf to a nickel-sized blue-ish bruise.* How..horrible is it? During the takes today..I couldn't have any bodyshots! I could only do my headshots...but...we were on a beach...*She sniffles and looks sadly at her bruise.*
Lull: *he drops down to his knees and looks closely at it* Even your temporary imperfections are beautiful, my dear Mella! *He leans down and actually lightly kisses it! Much to the disgust of the viewing audience*
Mella: *Obnoxious giggle* Oh, Lull...You're too charming..
Lull: And you are just to beautiful for words... *He stands, holding out his hand.* Now quell those awful tears... They do not suit your million dollar face!
Mella: *takes it whilst fluttering her eyelashes and stands*: Lull dear, that didn't rhyme...but I think I can forgive you. *She smiles at him.*
Lull: Ah so it was... But don't forget that some don't rhyme. Forgive me further for my mind can't work correctly with you in my vision. *He leans in closely to rub his nose against hers.*
*Quick to turn the nose rub into a swift smooch, Mella smiles*
Mella: Ah darling, you can do no wrong. You could probably make that pink-haired she-witch that I keep see wondering around swoon!
Lull: I bet I could turn every girl in this place mine. *wrapping his arms around her.* They dream of it all the time. Even that redhead probably wishes... But they are just all dishes... Compared to your fine China.
Mella: How did you get so romantic? Oh Lull..Romeo would never have held a flame to you. Juliet would have been all your's. But, you're mine. Rightly so, anyway. R and J would never had held a ...dime against our beauty! Oh... Did you happen to look at this week's matchboard?
Lull: I care not for my opponents! I have more important things on my mind... Like... *staring into her eyes* I my beautiful golden rind...
Mella: Darling, I'm the rind to your orange. Also....Speaking of which...did you use my shampoo again? Your hair feels great...*Somehow, she makes this sound loving.*
Lull: Gulity as charged... My darling sunshine....
Mella: The Sun to your moon babe, cuz without you..there'd be no me. Vice versa applies as well, of course.
Lull: *Leaning closer to her.* Truth that you are the giant star to my orbiting.... *Looking past her and into the camera* WHA!? THERE'S A STALKER WITH A CAMERA IN HERE! SECURITY!!!! SECURITY!!! GET BEHIND ME MY LOVE, I WILL PROTECT YOU!
*Lull whisks his "burning, huge rind" behind back as he puts up his dukes.*
Mella: *Cowering behind her "Moon"* Oh my god! I knew the Paparazzi were bad..but that's a stalker! OH NO!
[Camera cuts backstage to find Andy â€œThe Eagleâ€ Davidson and John â€œThe Lionâ€ Valentine in the locker room, getting ready for their matches. A loud knocking is heard at the door and Valentine answers it to reveal Smarky with a wide grin on his face]
Smarky: Ah, just the guys I was looking for!
[Smarky walks in and shakes both menâ€™s hands enthusiastically]
Davidson: What do you want?
Smarky: Oh nothing. Iâ€™m just here to make a little.....proposition for you gentlemen.
Valentine: Make it quick.
Smarky: Well, during my vacation in Bognor Regis, I managed to still get EWT television via my satellite linkup at my summer home. And while I was watching, I saw two guys out there who stood out from the rest. They werenâ€™t legitimate main event stars yet, but with a little gentle prodding in the right direction, they could be the next big thing. Do you know who they were?
[Smarky is met with silence]
Smarky: .......OK, Iâ€™ll tell you. [Gesturing to both of them] Andy â€œThe Eagleâ€ Davidson, and John â€œThe Lionâ€ Valentine. Do you get where Iâ€™m going with this yet?
Valentine: Are you trying to form some sort of alliance here?
Smarky: Better than that, my friend. Iâ€™m offering you, both of you, not only my loyalty, but also...a little assistance if needed...if you catch my drift. And maybe, when all is said and done, possibly you could do the same thing for me.
Davidson: What do you mean assistance?
Smarky: Well, obviously, there wouldnâ€™t be much need for it, especially with stars of your caliber, but if any of you were to find yourself in a tight spot during a match, I would be more than willing to...even the odds, so to speak.
Davidson: You mean interfere in our matches?
Smarky: Well...to put it in laymanâ€™s terms...yes. But itâ€™s a bit more complicated-
Valentine: Get out.
Smarky: Hey, Iâ€™m just trying to give you guys the edge you need to-
Valentine: [Grabbing Smarky] Maybe you donâ€™t get what me and Andy are about. Both of us are about giving everything we have in the ring. Weâ€™re about honor. Weâ€™re about playing by the rules. But one thing weâ€™re definitely NOT about is some sniveling kiss-ass trying to put a black mark on everything we do!
[With that, Valentine tosses Smarky out of the locker room and slams the door]
*The Great Khali's theme song plays and the big man comes out, slowly walking towards the ring and saying BLARG a few times*
Joey Styles: River Blood issued an open challenge earlier, and this is who answered the call. The Great Khali is looking to bash someone up big time.
JBL: Indeed, Joey Styles. I'd also like to thank River Blood for red-misting Michael Cole, so that I don't have to sit next to him in a little while. At least you have some idea what's going on in the ring.
Styles: Thanks for the compliment, JBL. Anyway, this is an old-fashioned hardcore match, falls count anywhere, no holds barred.
*"Blood Red Sandman" hits and River Blood comes out, looking somewhat hesitant. He's wearing an Ash Williams style chainsaw attachment on his right hand, and also brings a ludicrous number of foreign objects with him in a shopping cart*
Styles: Is that a real chainsaw? It sure looks like one.
JBL: This is a hardcore match, Joey Styles! Anything goes! If I were in a no-disqualification match against Great Khali, I'd take something like that with me too. He's just being smart.
*Referee Patrick Hernandez has a brief discussion with River Blood about the chainsaw, apparently he's trying to prevent him from using it. Blood does take it off his hand in any case, although he's visibly upset by this*
Styles: Well, River Blood has removed the chainsaw attachment but it's still there... hey, he's bringing it over to us! Keep that thing pointed the other way!
*River Blood circles the ring while Khali looks on from inside the squared circle. Blood decides 'what the hell', grabs a chair and slides into the ring*
Styles: I'm not sure if that's the best strategy...
The match is officially under way, but neither man is making a move yet. Blood is beckoning Khali to attack while shielding himself with the chair, Khali keeps looking on. Blood swings the chair at Khali, but Khali blocks the chairshot with his enormous fist. Blood is shaken by the power of Khali's punch hitting the steel and staggers a few steps backwards. Khali grabs him by the throat and throws him in the corner. Gigantic slap in the chest by Khali, Blood doubles over in pain. Khali attempts a powerbomb, but Blood wriggles his way out of the situation and proceeds to kick Khali in the hamstring. Khali seems to nosell this. Blood decides to slip out of the ring and finds his shopping cart. Khali looks over the top rope... AND BLOOD THROWS HIM IN THE HEAD WITH THE SHOPPING CART!
The stuff in the cart is now scattered all around the ring, and Blood dives back in. He grabs a barbwire bat and smacks the dazed Khali in the back, breaking the baseball bat in the process. Khali is now on one knee, Blood comes in to hit his double knee shining wizard but is viciously headbutted by Khali! Blood rolls out of the ring to gather his brain cells, followed soon by Khali. Khali smashes a Playstation console over the head of River Blood. River Blood seems to be in serious trouble, as Khali introduces his face to the guardrail and ring steps.
Styles: It just might be curtains for River Blood here very soon. He's doing his best against the giant monster, but the size difference is just too big. Wait, what are you doing now? Leave the announcers' table alone, we're not the Spanish announce team!
Khali rips off the announce table cover and is attempting to chokeslam River Blood through the table. Blood, however, stabs Khali in the face with a fork and saves himself from doom. RED MIST IN THE FACE OF GREAT KHALI! KHALI IS BLINDED! Blood takes a part of the guardrail and sets it up between the two parts of the ring steps while Khali's trying to recover from the mist.
JBL: This may not be good for... well, anyone.
River Blood pushes Khali into the ring post and hits him in the head with a monitor repeatedly. He drags Khali on the steel steps and sets him up on the guardrail. Against all odds, the contraption holds together to support Khali's weight. Blood goes to get a ladder from under the ring and sets it up next to the steps/guardrail/Khali pile. Blood hits Khali with a chairshot to the head to keep him down and climbs the ladder.
JBL: Don't do it, Blood! You'll crash and burn!
Styles: River Blood said he wasn't afraid of Khali, and he's showing it now. Khali's laying motionless on that guardrail.
Blood looks down once more, stands up on top of the ladder... THE SPLASH OF BLOOD ON KHALI/GUARDRAIL/STEEL STEPS!
Styles (in "balls in a vice" mode): OH MY GOD!!
JBL: That's it! They're both gone! Stick a fork in them!
Indeed, both River Blood and Khali are feeling the effects of the big 450 splash off the ladder. Khali is still not moving, but neither is River Blood. After a while, there is movement from Blood and he attempts to get on top of Khali for the cover. He gets one hand on Khali's chest, Patrick Hernandez comes to count the pin...
Styles: It has to end there! One! Two! WHAT? KHALI KICKS OUT!!
JBL: Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable. River Blood can't believe it either.
Blood drags himself up and slowly moves towards the ring, still being unable to actually enter it. Khali seems to be moving too, but Blood doesn't notice this. Blood finally gets in the ring and climbs the top rope... but Khali is up. Khali is up and seriously pissed, and now he's in the ring trying to throw Blood off the top rope. Blood kicks him in the head a few times, but Khali hits the BRAIN CHOP and stuns Blood. Khali now goes for what looks to be a superplex attempt... no, he's going for a powerbomb off the top rope, he has Blood all set up for the move. River Blood is in SERIOUS trouble.
Styles: I think we should move, JBL!
JBL: For once, I agree with you.
Khali POWERBOMBS RIVER BLOOD OFF THE TURNBUCKLE AND THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! HE'S BROKEN IN HALF!
Styles: OH MY GOD!!!
JBL: He challenged whoever would want to step in the ring with him, and now he's paid the price. I don't think he'll be walking again very soon.
Patrick Hernandez goes to check on River Blood and puts up the X. Trainers, EMT's, referees down, they proceed to start digging Blood out from under the remains of the table. Blood is put on a stretcher and they start to cart him out of the arena... but The Blood Red Sandman isn't having any of it. He gets up from the stretcher sooner than you'd think is humanly possible and starts limping his way back towards the ring. And he's smiling. Bah Gawd, he's smiling.
Styles: River Blood is absolutely sick.
JBL: Come on, man! You already showed how tough you are, no need to hurt yourself any further.
Styles: I don't think he cares at this point.
Blood re-enters the ring and is once again face to face with Khali, who looks baffled to see him still standing. BRAIN CHOP misses! Blood kicks Khali in the balls, smashes a television over the giant marblemouth's head and gets out of the ring, still walking with a limp and clutching his side.
Styles: Khali's not liking what's on TV tonight, that's for sure!
Khali is busted open by now. Blood comes back in and... yes, that is his chainsaw.
Styles: Come on! Not the chainsaw!
The chainsaw doesn't actually work, which comes as somewhat of a relief to everyone. Still, it has a sharp blade and it makes a chainsaw sound and has smoke coming out of it, so it's cool in any case. Khali is trying to get up after having the TV bashed in his face... AND RIVER BLOOD BRAINCHOPS HIM WITH THE CHAINSAW HAND!
Styles: Oh my God!
Khali goes down with a heavy thud. Blood climbs the top rope again. Khali isn't moving...
Styles: THE SPLASH OF BLOOD CONNECTS! COVER! ONE... TWO... THREE!
JBL: River Blood did the unthinkable, he actually managed to beat the Great Khali!
Blood and Khali lay in the middle of the ring for a while, after which Blood grabs a microphone.
River Blood (walking around looking and sounding exhausted): Yeah! You saw that, didn't you? I beat The Great Khali 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring, fair and square. No one's gonna mock me any more, because I'll do the exact same to them. Ha ha ha ha! I am the ultimate giant killer, I am the greatest there is. Hail to the king, baby! (tries to kiss Lilian Garcia but doesn't get a very warm welcome from her) Eh, whatever. Your loss, lady.
*River Blood goes back up the entrance ramp, grinning from ear to ear which may or may not result from a broken jaw*
We fade in as Zeleke is seen running full speed towards the camera, crashing right into it! After a brief moment, the screen goes static, then resuming as Zeleke is seen flat on the ground, rubbing his forehead with a manic grin as Faboon comes jogging over, stepping across his partners face. Zeleke is clad in nothing but a bright yellow rain coat while Faboon is dressed in a fancy tuxedo, complete with monocle, both of them showing the same "we dressed in the dark again" fashion sense.
Faboon: BIGGY AND BADDY... you make me maddy... of most raddy... you excude coolness like my daddy... if there were of justiciousity... you'd be in the wagon of paddy!!!
Zeleke sits up and nods frantically, leaping up and prancing around the room as Faboon speaks.
Faboon: When we came of closer then closeness, we were confident filled felines, but in the ending, our victory floated away like a traitorous balloon of infidelity! Do you think honestfully that we have not begin to gave up for the most part in totalness?!
Zeleke: POSILUTELY NOT BABE!!!
Faboon pie faces Zeleke away, as he frowns, shaking his head.
Faboon: Our time blossoms like the beautiful bud of buddiness... and yours drifts closely closered then any budding that ever budded. You see funky fred, I AM REQUESTFUL OF THE SACREDED REMATCH! beating us once will be a shame of us, but the duo confrontation shall be your shame belonging! You can wither and whine while we mambo like swine around your fallen torsos... embracing the sacrificial loss you most likely deserve!
Zeleke: I'm gonna bop em till Tuesday!!!
Zeleke hops up again, then bounds around the room, punching wildly at the air, bouncing over to Sum Guy nearby, holding a box in his hands.
Sum: Oh boy... I love jelly filled!
He reaches down into the box, only to get sucker punched by a rampaging Zeleke, sending him down in a heap, as the pink haired fool catches the container and begans ravenously gulping down the donuts inside, getting jelly everywhere, as Faboon cackles madly, watching this.
Faboon: My fiends... being this shall be your fateful fating if you are to be the acceptors this time... PRAY ON YOUR DECIETFUL VICTORY IF YOU MUST... CAUSE WE'RE GONNA ROCK, ROLL, AND EVEN RIDE YOU INTO GRACEFUL OBLIVION!
Zeleke finishes his snack, as he stops, imitating a chorus line and kicking his foot up and down for no reason, hopping away on the other foot as Faboon grins maniacally, slicking back his pale white hair, then spinning around in circles and swirling away... before stopping.
Faboon: Of courseness... we shall also deal the dealing to the flippy floppy flamingoes this week just as defiantly!
Zeleke sticks his head back over.
Zeleke: GIVE ME YOUR DIGITINGS RAINBOW BOY!!!
The two quickly resume and exit the area as Sum groans, crawling around on the floor as we fade to the next segment.
H! F00l plays in the PA systems as "Elementalcidal" Mike Ragnal walks out, the EWT World title around his waist, and a microphone in hand. As he stands on the stage, the fans boo him, as they watch the cocky grin on his face.
Mike: Well. Ladies and gentlemen, that was a rather solid title defense you saw this past week, right?
The crowd boos him even louder.
Mike: B**** all ya want, but that doesn't change the fact that I beat the most violent monster EWT has ever known in Maelstrom. Keep this in mind, however, because now that he seems to be chasing after Ratings for his autograph...there is no #1 contender for the World title!
The crowd boos on even louder.
Mike: But fear not! Just so I can prove to you jojangs out there that I'm not a sore bean and that I WANT competition...I'm here to introduce the Pick My Poison Match!
Mike: Here's what happens. Starting Monday at noon, EWT.com will be opening poles up on the website for you, the fans, to vote for. Then on the day of the next PPV, our poles will be closed up, and your decision will be facing yours truly for this baby right here!
As he gets a mixed reaction, he slaps the main belt of the World title.
Mike: Tonight, however, I will be introducing the three men that I have nominated as my punching bags-no, wait, sorry, my "opponents"-for this match. So! Starting Monday at noon, the fans will decide between...
And there you have it! The three men partaking in the Pick My Poison Match! Happy voting!
The fans are mixed in their reaction as Mike goes backstage, the same cocky smile on his face as when he walked in.
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit!
-The lights dim as Deep Purple’s “Perfect Strangers” begins to play throughout the arena-
Announcer: Introducing first, making his EWT in-ring debut, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 223 pounds, Spectre!
-The camera shows the entrance ramp, but nobody walking down it.-
Gorilla: What do you think this might be all about, Jess? This the new guy might be going through some first match jitters?
Ventura: Over there, Monsoon! Check out near the entry-way! Knowing how this Spectre guy’s been doing business, I can’t say this is all that shocking!
-Sure enough, the camera cuts over to the ramp, where the dark figure of Spectre weaves his way through the crowd and leaps over the railing. He wears the same gear as he’s been seen in, white athletic tape running up his right arm, black up his left, dark, long tights, basic boots, and, of course, the enigmatic mask.-
Gorilla: Well, there he is, Spectre, truly one of the more mysterious figures to come along these parts in quite some time.
Ventura: His hometown? Who knows? His goals? Your guess is as good as mine. Hell, we don’t even know what style of wrestling this guy uses. But maybe we’ll get a better idea of what this guy is all about soon, maybe even during this match!
-Spectre moves quickly, but gracefully, fluidly. As he glides into the ring, the PA system cues up some cowboy music signaling the arrival of Jimmy Wang Yang, but it quickly dies down, slowing like a fading record, and slowly starts back up with the theme from Barry Gordy’s class, “The Last Dragon”-
Announcer: His opponent, from Seoul, Korea, weighing in at 215 pounds, Jimmy Yang!
-Yang, in his white “Matrix” coat and sunglasses, appears to the crowd, bowing graciously at their cheers, and moves, also very fluidly, into the ring, where he climbs the turnbuckles, holds his arms up, then backflips into the ring-
-The ref checks both men, and quickly calls for the bell. Immediately, both men quickly circle one another. Spectre, the leser-known entity in the match, quickly gets down and reaches in, trying to sweep out Yang’s legs and take him down, but Jimmy’s far too quick on his feet to fall for that so early. After some more sizing up, the two men, pretty equal in strength, lock up, with neither getting a decisive advantage. They tussle a bit, not letting go of the lockup, leading to Spectre forcing Yang into a corner. The ref gets in between, trying to force a clean break…and Spectre obliges.-
-Locking up again, the tide turns, this time with Yang forcing his opponent into a corner. When the ref calls for another break, Yang rears back for a chop…but settles for a light shove against the newcomers’ chest, basically a clean break. Spectre’s expression, or what little can be seen of it, doesn’t change.-
-The two measure each other once more, but Yang goes in, hitting an arm drag. Spectre pops back up and returns the favor, taking Yang to the mat. Yang pops back up, too, and goes for a leg sweep, which Spectre leaps over. Spectre brings his foot up, looking to stomp the now prone Yang, but Jimmy rolls out of the way, avoiding one stomp, than another, until he catches Spectre’s foot! Jimmy tries to bring the other man down and lock in a submission attempt, but Spectre rolls through on the way down, tries to get Jimmy in a front chancery, but Yang breaks free, going for a hammerlock. Spectre won’t have it, and reverses out of it, and gets to his feet. Both men are up and stare down one another, leading to some applause from the crowd.- GM: Impressive speed demonstrated by both men. Reflexes like a couple of cats, Jess!
JV: You said it, Gorilla, but look at how smart they both were on the mat, too! <slow-mo replay shows it off) Neither man allowed the other to get the upper hand, and that’s the key to victory in this business, I guarantee you that!
-Spectre stands on one side of the ring, unmoving. Yang decides to take matters into his own hands: he goes straight at Spectre, leaping up and attempting a high kick, but the other man ducks out and sidesteps, avoiding the blow. Yang again goes on the offensive, stalking after Spectre and throwing some kicks out, just trying to make some body contact, but the other man quickly brings his arms up and down to deflect most of the impact of the shots. Yang brings a hand up, waving Spectre towards him with a bit of a frustrated look on his face, shouting “C’mon! Come get me!”, but the other man isn’t biting.-
GM: Clearly a defensive style being utilized by Spectre here, but you can’t get a pin without landing some offense, kid!
-Yang again goes for a strike, a hard chop, but Spectre ducks, goes behind, and hits a HIGH spinning kick to the back of Yang’s head! Jimmy falls hard to the mat, dazed, and Spectre now goes on the attack. He lifts Yang up, bringing him to a corner, and starts unleashing a fast barrage of fists to the body, and chops to the chest. He walks out, goes to the opposite corner, and runs forward with a double knee strike to the chest, knocking Jimmy to the mat. Cover!-
-Kickout by Yang. Spectre again picks him up, looking for another knife-edge chop, but Jimmy shakes the cobwebs out and holds up his wrists to deflect it. Stunning Spectre for a moment, Jimmy lets loose a few kicks to the body, driving Spectre back into another corner, finally unloading with a leaping spin kick to the jaw, sending the masked man crashing into the turnbuckle. Yang runs up, grabs the top rope, heaves himself into the air, and comes down with a dropkick into Spectre’s masked face!-
-Taking a moment to collect himself, Yang begins ascending to the top turnbuckle.-
GM: First high risk maneuver we’ll see in this match coming right up!
JV: If I had to guess right, Gorilla, and I always do, I’d say that Yang’s thinking that a striking contest hasn’t been working to his favor. Spectre’s clearly solid at that game, so Yang’s gonna do what he does best: fly!
-Yang waits for Spectre to get to his feet, and comes down, looking for a missle dropkick…Spectre ducks! Spectre quickly goes to unleash a legsweep, but Jimmy avoids it, and hits the ropes in a flash, coming back with a flying forearm! Jimmy again hits the ropes, and hits Spectre with a shoulder block. Again, he goes off the ropes, gaining speed, avoiding Spectre, who tries a low bridge, a spin kick, and a chop to stop him. On the last lap, Yang leaps, and nails a quebrada on the standing Spectre! Cover!-
-Close, but a kickout. Yang senses he’s got the right formula, and looks to utilize his speed again. He hits the ropes, comes off with a leaping kick attempt…but Spectre ducks, grabs his leg, tackles him to the mat, and, with Yang stomach-first on the mat, locks his legs around the limb he grabbed, kneeling on the mat, gazing down at his victim.-
GM: Woah; we saw Spectre moving quickly and striking hard, but apparently the kid’s got a ground game, as well!
-The ref checks on Yang, but the veteran quickly shakes him off. The crowd claps in unison, getting behind Jimmy, who manages to roll over to the ropes. Spectre breaks off, but quickly grabs the leg, and pounces on it. He sets it up on the bottom rope, and leaps down on it, bringing his weight across it. He does it one more time, then takes it, holds it up, and flips over Yang, Hennig-style, snapping it. Yang holds onto it in pain, as Spectre seems to be doing his damndest to slow the high-flyer down.-
-Spectre keeps up the assault, not showing any hesitation with any maneuver he executes, and moving with a swiftness and fluidity not often seen. His focus is clearly on Jimmy’s leg, and he eventually grounds him down for a single leg crab.
JV: I can tell you from first hand experience, folks, Boston Crabs might hurt, but nothing compares to the pain of a single leg crab; all the agony of the two leg variety, but so much harder to escape from!
-Jimmy continues to fight, his face etched with determination. Finally, with a great effort, he lifts his body up, and rolls out, sending Spectre to the mat. Yang has to shake out his leg and limps a bit, but tries to mount some offense. He leaps up to the second rope, measures Spectre, and comes off with a clothesline! He pops up, ignoring the pain he feels, and meets Spectre again, this time with some hard chops, sending him reeling. He pushes Spectre to the corner, steps back, and with a cry, charges…but Spectre moves! And Yang responds! Before he can crash into the turnbuckle, Yang has the wherewithal to use the turnbuckles as steps, ascending each before backflipping down safely…into a small package attempt by Spectre!-
GM: Spectre with the pin attempt out of nowhere! He just once again took the wind out of Yang’s sails with one move!
JV: We’re seein’ a pattern here, Gorilla: whatever Jimmy does, Spectre has an answer for it. He’s adapting to any and every style and method Yang throws at him!
-The two men get up, and Yang attempts a strike, which Spectre avoids; he grabs Yang, and nails a Northern Lights Suplex! No cover, as Yang moves quickly, reversing around and getting Spectre into a backslide pin attempt!-
-Escape by Spectre! The new guy flips over, getting Yang into sunset flip position, but Yang maneuvers out of that, getting on top for another pin attempt…which Spectre rolls through! He gets to his feet, but Yang sweeps his legs out, pin attempt…no good, as Spectre moves too quickly, snaking his way out. He grabs Yang from behind, hefting him up, and looks like he might be setting him up for a Half Nelson Suplex…but Yang gets out, hits a knee to the gut, and drives down a kick to the back of Spectre’s head/neck!-
-Yang is woozy and moving slowly, his leg still not in good condition, but he still manages to signal to the crowd for Yang Time. Ascending slowly, Yang steadies himself…but enough time has passed for Spectre to recover! The masked man attempts to climb up behind, maybe for a top rope German, but Yang fights him off! Spectre is pushed to the mat, but he tries again; again, Jimmy reacts, turning around and pushing his opponent off to the mat once more. AGAIN Spectre is up…but this time he leaps to the second rope, off to the side, bounces off, and twists in midair, grabbing Yang “Stunner-style”, but flips him over while in midair, sending him crashing onto his back…for lack of a better term, a top rope snapmare! As Yang crashes, Spectre is still right on top of him, flipping him over and locking in a Fujiwara armbar…using his legs and feet! Yang, unprepared, has no choice but to quickly tap!-
Announcer: The winner of this bout, Spectre!
GM: Unbelievable action there, Jess, and what a debut for this mysterious new guy!
JV: It’s like I said, Gorilla; here you had a guy like Jimmy Yang, so well versed in high flying, quick striking, and even submission work…and Spectre always had a way to counter him! You heard me say it before: “adaptability” must be the name of this dude’s game.
-As the ref checks on Yang, Spectre stands over him, unmoving. Yang slowly stands, grimacing, but not badly hurt. He looks up, stares at Spectre directly in the eye…as Spectre holds his hand out. Yang, somewhat confused, gives him a wary look…but slowly accepts. Spectre doesn’t hold the hand long, and quickly rolls out of the ring to the tune of “Perfect Strangers”, moving quickly up the ramp and finding a new seat, ready to once more watch the action, and the wrestlers, of the EWT with a close, keen eye. As he moves, Sum Guy appears, mic in hand, trying to get a few words.-
SG: I’m Sum Guy, and I scream for ice cream! Mr. Spectre, very impressive debut, but do you have any words?
SG: Um…do you have any big goals?
-Silence, Spectre keeps moving-
SG: How about a finisher? You know, one with a real cool name or somethin’?
-Silence. Spectre grabs a new chair, sets it up, and eases into it, leaning forward, intently looking towards the ring.-
SG: Well, this has been really fun; I didn’t even get the crap kicked out of me! Thanks, Mr. Spectre! <Sum runs off, as Spectre, well…waits for the next match.-
"[Spectre] is a well-defined shadow cast by the Sun into the clouds. This phenomenon is often accompanied by colorful circular bands, which center on the point opposite to the Sun from the observer. These rainbow-like rings are called a glory and are reflections off of water droplets, much like a rainbow."