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Post by Toom E. Guci on Mar 25, 2007 22:14:38 GMT -5
* Dead Man Walking opens with a shot of tombstones in a graveyard. Each tombstone bares the name of an Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation superstar scheduled for competition tonight. Thunder can be heard as lightning fills the sky. Lightning strikes a grave as an arm surfaces from it & we cut to ringside…*
Finkel: The following contest is a SUBMISSION MATCH, and is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first...
*"Different World" plays over the speakers, and Terina walks out onto the stage in her wrestling gear; she is alone. The crowd is rather loudly booing.*
Finkel: From San Diego, California, weighing in at 138 pounds......TERINA!
*The crowd further boos as she makes her way down the ramp, ignoring their rather hostile "welcoming." With a good pace, she reaches the ring and climbs onto the apron, stands up, and with her arms hooked in the ropes but facing away, she executes a backward flip over. Rather than taunting the crowd, she chooses to stretch her arms and crack her neck instead. As her music dies down, so do the boos, and she folds her arms in anticipation for her opponent.*
*The crowd openly cheers as the opening riff for “Rose” by Anna Tsuchiva begins. The appearance of the Broken Rose of EWT, only gets them excited more. But some of the excitement dies down as she is seen limping on her right leg as she makes her way through the crowd. But that doesn't stop her from giving a few high fives on way to the ring.* Finkel: And her opponent, now residing in Osaka, Japan... Weighting in at 142 lbs.... BR Juri Sadamoto!
*She gingerly hops over the barricade and rolls into the ring, then proceeds to do her little routine of stretching her arms behind her back. But she adds a little bit of hamstring pulling and stretching on her right leg, which seems to cause her a bit of pain. Her music ends and the bell rings.* *The two stare each other down from opposite sides of the ring for less than a minute, but it feels like an hour; their gaze focused on what could be over 100 different things at once. The referee walks in between them, orders the timekeeper to ring the bell, and the match is under way. Terina and Juri step up, but do not attack. They continue to scan each other for potential weaknesses rather than fight, and the referee takes offense to it. He walks up to them and begins to bark orders at them to wrestle. They both look at him, turn back to each other, look at him again, and face each other once more. As he he continues yelling, he mentions how they're too pitiful of women to be able to fight, and immediately finds himself on the receiving end of a Rose Red kick from Juri followed by a side-Russian leg sweep by Terina. They pick him up, toss him over the top rope, and the crowd surprisingly pops. Both seem confused.*
*With the referee out of the picture--for now, at least, the two get down to brass tacks, locking up collar-and-elbow style. It goes back and forth, both women shifting their nearly equal weight in an attempt to overpower and drive back the other. Juri, with her greater strength, begins to push Terina towards the corner. She thrusts her in, and lets go for a moment, but Terina takes advantage of this opening and turns their positions around, kneeing Juri in the abdomen a few times. However, Juri once more locks up wth Terina and this time, pushes out of the corner and forces Terina into the ropes. Upon bringing her there, Juri hits a few chops. After a third chop, Terina blocks and hits a chop of her own, followed by kicks to the legs of Juri, recalling the work done to Juri's legs in previous matches. Realizing what Terina is trying to do, Juri grabs Terina's left leg mid kick, and flips her over backwards, her opponent landing face-first. The crowd pops insanely for this counter, and Juri, not one to attempt to show off, but rather wrestle, goes right after the head of Terina. She immediately locks in a facelock to wear her down, but Terina grabs the hair and begins to pull. After quite a while, Juri finally lets go to protect her head. Terina takes advantage of this and flips over to Juri's back, putting her in a wristlock. Juri reaches around for something to grab, and finds Terina's neck. She grabs this, flips her over, and places in a chinlock. She attempts to hold this, but Terina manages to separate the two wrenching arms, and grabbing one of them, spins it around, and twists it so that Juri must flip as well, unless she wants herself a broken arm. Terina follows up with a leg drop over the neck.*
*With Juri now down, Terina decides to go after the legs again. She picks her up, presumably to deliver a kneebreaker, but ends up recieving a jawbreaker counter-attack. Once more, she begins to go for chops, the two women trading knife-edges, which are specialties of theirs, back and forth, back and forth.*
WOO!
WOO!
WOO!
WOO!
WOO!
WOO!
WOO!
*Juri breaks the pace and hits Terina square in the jaw with a back elbow, and lands her trio of well-aimed chops, the Bara-Bramble special, dropping the self-proclaimed "Hottest Technician in EWT."*
*This newfound advantage allows Juri to once again go for the head. She puts Terina in a neck lock, wrenching it around. At this point, the referee clumsily rolls into the ring, being laughed at by the crowd while the two women have been tearing each other apart so far in the match. The referee stumbles to his feet and walks over to the two, checking to see if Terina is going to give up. She certainly seems to be ready to do so, as she is yelping in pain--or so he would think. When he asks her, she thinks for a second, and as she seems to be ready to quit, rather than tap out, Terina grabs both of Juri's ankles and pulls, dropping her to the mat. She stomps them a couple of times, and places Juri in a kneelock. Hoping to do more damage, she lifts up to drop her knee in the pit of Juri's, and lands it. She twists hard, aiming for a submission. Before she can do much more however, Juri forearms her several times in the forehead, making her let go. Juri climbs back to her feet, and stumbles a bit, whilst shaking off the pain from the damage dealt to her two lower limbs.*
*It is anybody's guess what will happen next. So far the match has been extremely even, and both of the two are getting quite the reception—some fans may be booing the wrestlers, but are overall cheering for what they’ve seen from a formerly dead women’s division. Terina locks up with Juri and shifts her into a facelock, but is overpowered and forced into the corner while keeping in the hold. Juri puts her in, gives her abdomen a shoulder thrust, and follows up with a second one. She aims for a third one but Terina slips out from under her arm into behind, and forearms her in the back. Terina goes for a leaping Neckbreaker from behind, but Juri holds onto the ropes, causing Terina to unceremoniously flop onto her rear. Juri turns around, picks Terina up and holds her in position for what could be some kind of driver akin to the Death Valley flavor, but Terina drops from behind and pulls Juri down; a textbook Edge-o-matic. She goes over to Juri’s left leg and, apparently receiving a little training from her partners in crime, puts in a deathlock. She bridges it, adding more pressure to the leg—perhaps not a true inverted STF, as this one focuses more on the legs, but it’ll do fine. Juri pulls her arms apart, and holding onto her neck, staggers up.*
*Juri snapmares Terina, who rolls forward. She gets up, armdrags Juri, who gets back up, and several times armdrag one another. Juri finally gets the final one in, converting it into a Fujiwara armbar. For a while she locks it in, her opponent once again feeling pain. In an attempt to counter, Terina uses her two legs; both of them free, and wraps them around Juri's abdomen for the Boa Constrictor. Each time the Puro star takes a breath, her adversary further tightens her grip, making it harder and harder to breathe.*
*Juri needs to find a way to counter. She realizes that if she continues the armbar, she may be lucky enough to get a submission, but she risks passing out from the lack of oxygen caused by Terina's abdominal scissors. She tries to pull Terina's legs apart, to no avail. Her time is running out, and after almost two minutes of immobilization, is showing signs of fatigue. In an epic show of desperation and physical ability, she slowly climbs to her feet, even with Terina holding the Boa Constrictor and dangling from her stomach. She grabs her by the head, and lifts her up in a powerbomb position, finally seperating Terina's legs. However, she notices this advantageous situation, and prepares to drop a powerbomb to the outside. Before any assumptions can even be made--*
THUD!
THE CROWD IS GOING INSANE!
*Terina was able to find a way to counter this maneuver--with her free legs, and elevation, she managed to hit a hurricanrana, albeit, with Juri pushing her forward--and both are on the outside of the ring, the referee and the audience astounded by this development. Neither of them are moving, but in semi-conscious shakes.*
E-DUB-T! E-DUD-T! E-DUD-T!
*After what seems like an eternity, both Terina and Juri begin to stir. Terina makes it to her feet, using the ring for leverage, while BR is still kneeling on her left knee. It looks like her mistake in the Benoit match is costing her big time, and that spill to the outside didn't do any good for her. Before she can make it to her feet, Terina delivers a boot to her face that knocks her back down. As soon as BR is down, Terina grabs her right leg and attempts a torquing Leg Lock, but is struck with Juri's left foot before she can really lock it in. In a desperate attempt to protect her face, Terina lets go which allows BR some time to make it to her feet. However, it does no good, because Terina's right there to meet her. Terina lays in a few Elbow Shots before locking up with Juri again. Again the clash of even strength is heavily apparent, and even though Juri's right leg is being stressed by this stalemate, Juri finds the extra strength to push forward to gain the advantage. Knowing that things aren't going her way, Terina kicks Juri's right knee and hits a Lucky Shot just as Juri begins to fall backwards.*
THUD!
*A small sound of impact reverberates off the mat after Juri's head snaps off the EWT floor matting. Terina sits up and takes a few seconds for a bit of breath. All the while Juri is laying face down on the mat; her right leg shaking involuntarily from what could be shock from pain. Terina, from her siting position on Juri's right side, reaches down and grabs Juri's right leg. With punishment in her mind, she starts to torque the leg in an unnatural way. Juri immediately responds by lifting her upper up by her left arm and delivers a Knife Edge Chop to Terina's face! Terina yelps and drops the leg once again to protect herself from another hard chop. Juri rolls away, towards the ring, and pulls herself to a standing position on her left leg. Terina angrily rises to face BR, who just flashes a cheeky grin despite herself. Allowing her anger to cloud her judgment, Terina charges forth with Juri as her intended target. Instead she become intimate with the ring side after Juri tripped her in a Drop Toe Hold attempt. With Terina down for the time being, Juri pulls herself upright and labors a few steps to get some adrenaline going to temporarily stop the pain.*
*After a bit, her wishes have come true and she is able to put some weight on it. But she is not the only one that has benefited from the break, as Terina has not only to regain her composure but a steel chair as well. She takes a swing at Juri, who ducks it easily. She throws another one, this time Juri just barely misses it. Just as Juri turns, Terina toss it to Juri in what look like an attempt for a Vandaminator. Juri catches the chair, takes one looking at it, and throws it hard back at Terina before she could finish the rest of the move. The chair catches Terina right between the eyes and she falls backward as if she has been shot much to the delight of the crowd. Juri takes little time in getting over to where Terina is. Upon reaching her destination, she helps Terina up and places her against the nearest turnbuckle. She signals to the crowd that she's getting ready to slice and dice her opponent, which sparks a bit of cheers.*
WOO!
WOO!
WOO!
WOO!
WOO!
*She rears back and Chops once across Terina's face.*
WOO!
*If Terina couldn't feel the other chops, she does definitely is feeling this one. She springs back from her stupor and Chops her attacker back.*
WOO!
*Juri, as if possessed by some sort of demon, seemingly feels nothing and Chops her across the face again.*
WOO!
*As Terina holds her face, Juri points at the steel steps and Rose Whips Terina towards them. Yet just as Juri is about to let go, Terina reserves it to sent Juri towards the stairs. Who hits them knee first then flips over the them.*
SLAM!
*The audience gasps as Juri silently rolls back and forth on her back while holding her right leg. Although her voice lets out no signs of pain, her face betrays her. Terina briefly leans against the ring side before lifting the ring curtain in search for another “toy”. She finds just want she was looking for in a table which she sets up perpendicular to the ring. She then walks around it and sets her sights on the fallen BR. Terina goes to drag Juri by her arms, but is genuinely surprised when Juri rolls one onto her shoulders to deliver a solid Mule Kick to her chin. Juri rolls over and gets to her feet as Terina is recovering from being floored by Juri's college graduate feet. Juri uses the ring as a cane as she gingerly walks along it towards Terina. They lock up again, this time Juri knees Terina hard in the abdomen then slams her face into the ringside. Juri wastes no time in locking in a Side Headlock on the downed Terina. While she's doing so, Juri pulls out a pen-like object of some sort out of her left shoe. She begins jabbing it into her own right leg, to get rid of some of the numbness of the leg. Terina is fading fast. After the many shots to the face and head area, she just may be softened up enough to lose. Finally, Juri stops jabbing herself... Only to jab Terina in the face repeatedly!*
*Eager to escape from the onslaught to her face, Terina finds a second wind and manages to make it to her feet. She does so but still remains trapped in Juri's vice-like grasp. Terina wraps her arms around Juri in a quick attempt in a Back Suplex and lifts Juri in the air. But Juri's unbalanced weight to be too much, to which Juri takes advantage of and delivers an Elevated Bulldog to the mat but losing her object in the process.* thud!
*Juri brushes her now sweaty hair back from her eyes as she remains locked on to Terina in a sitting position. Seeing the table right in front of her, Juri starts getting some very bad intentions for the beautiful Terina. She stands, still holding the Headlock on, then converts it to a Standing Front Face Lock. Juri stands with her back to the table, all the while holding still hold Terina, and lifts her free arm up to signal for a Suplex. But as Juri is about to lift her, Terina quickly forces Juri to spin which not only shocks Juri but leaves her open for a Flapjack that sends both of them through the table.*
CRASH!
*Neither Juri or Terina appears to have any sort of movement. Terina is laying upright with a pained look on her face, while BR is fact down in the center of the broken table. In an effort to hold the audiences' attention, they show a video replay which shows just how the two women went through the table. Terina landed the back of her head on the table as she put Juri through. It's obvious that Juri got the worst off, as she landed face first in the center as she was put through the table. Back to live action, not much has changed. After a half a minute signs of life to beginning to appear from Ms. Sadamoto. She begins to lift herself from the wreckage and audible gasps are heard as she lifts her head. Her forehead has been completely busted open and blood is pouring down her face! So much that her bangs are soaked in blood. She leans against a part of the broken table as she becomes aware of just what happened. She reaches up and wipes the blood away from her eyes. She stops and takes a look at her hands. She then starts laughing very loudly. Enough time has past for Terina to recover from her spill through the table. She slowly lifts her head to eye her opponent, what she sees both shocks and disgusts her. Juri stares back at her, gives her a wide grin, and then licks some of her own blood off her hand. The barbaric sight almost causes Terina to lose her breakfast, lunch, dinner, and entire stomach.*
*They both are breathing very hard and glance at each other again. They both slowly make it to their feet. The referee calls for both of them to enter the ring. To which they both reluctantly do. They both meet in the center of the ring to lock up. But Terina is reluctant to lock with Juri's blood covered hands. Juri takes one look at them then winks at her. She calls the referee over and wipes her hands on her shirt, causing the referee to grimace. Then they lock up, both giving their all, but when Juri's dripping blood comes close to Terina she squirms to avoid it. Leaving her open for Juri to slightly lift her into a Suplex before turning it quickly into a Spinning Neckbreaker. Or what she calls a Broken Stem Driver # 28. Again Terina & BR are floored on the ground. Yet unlike most, Juri seeing her own blood gets her pumped. She quickly makes it to her feet and bends down to pick up Terina to her feet. All the while her blood drips onto Terina. BR then quickly turns her around and locks in her Beg For Mercy. Terina begins to scream out in pain. The referee asks if she wants to quit, to which she responds with a unsavory no. No matter how long Juri tightens it in, Terina just won't give up. Between the blood loss and the failing of her right leg, Juri finally lets go by dropping to the mat face first.*
*Juri just looks plain wiped out. There's no other way to describe it. She can't put pressure on her right leg, her pretty red hair is matted down in both sweat and blood, and the loss of blood is seemingly having the expected effect on her. Terina is no better. Her hair is horribly out of place, she is covered in sweat, and worse of all... She's slightly glistening with the blood of her opponent. Juri drops down to one knee and breathes deeply in & out. She starts crawling over a turnbuckle. Upon reaching it, she pulls herself up and goes out to the apron to climb the turnbuckle. The crowd is amped because they know just want Juri is going to do. She sits and waits on the top turnbuckle, waiting for Terina to rise to her feet. After she does do, Juri points up to the air then prepares to jump. Then, as soon as Terina turns around, Juri leaps for the TIMFA!!!*
*But in a shocking display, Terina throws herself aside at the last moment. Juri, not expecting this, slams knee first into the mat. Her face explodes in intense pain; she slowly falls face first to the center of the mat. Seeing her what maybe her last chance for an opening, Terina crawls on her hands and knees over to Juri. She stands to place a foot on both of Juri's knees. She then reaches down, slaps Juri's back, grabs a hold of her wrists, and finally leans back to lock in her Bird's Nest of Pain on Juri. Although the pain is shooting through her entire being, she does not make one sound. The referee asks if she wants to give up, to which she shakes her head no. BR cranes her head around the ring and is quick to learn that she is no where near any ropes. And with her current state, there's no getting out of this. Again the referee asks if she wishes to give up, and again she shakes her head no. Her blood is now dripping down from her hair to Terina & the mat below. Despite herself, Terina clinches the hold in harder by pumping Juri up & down. The referee, not only hating Juri for her past actions, but also being a caring individual and has a bit of knowledge of wrestling knows that this is just academic. He calls for the bell, to the delight of no one in the crowd. They openly boo him for stopping a great match, without Juri even submitting. The bell rings while Terina releases the hold; Juri falls to the side and looks to be in deep pain*
Finkel: AND YOUR WINNER... By Disqualification... TERINA!
*Terina, while happy that she won, seems upset that this is the way that she had to win. She stands and leans against one of the turnbuckles near the ramp. Where Juri very slowly makes it to her feet. The referee tries to help her up, but one blood soaked glare sends him packing. She makes her way to over to Terina, who is simply too wiped out to run away. But in a shocking turn of events, Juri offers her hand to Terina (while after wiping the blood off). Terina is slow to accept the hand, as the blood drenched half Japanese/half Irish demon doesn't look very inviting. But she finally does and upon doing so, Juri rises Terina's arm then points at her nodding. Juri then drops down and rolls out of the ring to begin walking to the locker room area. Terina, as with the audience, is shocked by the actions of Juri. However, Terina doesn't let this get in the way of her victory celebration, the crowds have no idea how to act. The camera fades away, Juri staggering off, and Terina basking in the glow of her victory.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Mar 25, 2007 22:16:01 GMT -5
*We come back from the video promo for the Comedian to ringside where The Fink is standing by in the ring.*
THE FINK: Ladies and Gentlemen the following match is for one fall and is a tag team bout … introducing first …
*"Love Will Keep Us Together" begins to play as PsyToni Tennille comes out first doing a neat dance that shows off the team who follow her.*
THE FINK: Being led to the ring by PsyToni Tennille, at a total combined weight of 483lbs, the team of King Ultimo Choculon and The Daryl Dragon..............ULTIMO DRAGON!"
*Daryl and UC come out on either side of her. UC flaps his cape and puffs out his chest with his hands on his hips like a famous superhero. Daryl quietly bobs to himself with a dippy grin on his face. They walk down the aisle to the cheers of the fans and they enter the ring hunky dory. Tennille raises the arms of both of her charges in a premature victory celebration as their theme music dies down and both men take off their elaborate capes. UC twirls it magnificently around his head and throws it so it lands squarely on top of Howard Finkel.*
THE FINK (muffled by a cloak): .. anff there opponenffts …
*From the speakers loud organ music can be heard, it is “Praeludium in D Minor by Johann Pachelbel”. The crowd starts to jeer as the dinge reaches almost unbearable loudness and the lights dim to a murky orange.*
THE FINK: Hailing from Bad Axe, Michigan ... and weighing in at a total combined weight of 831lbs ... they are Mr. Big and Mr. Bad! ….. Big and Bad!!
*From underneath the curtain the two impossibly huge men walk out. Mr. Bad leads the way his overflowing fat almost too much for his pantaloons to bear, while Mr. Big is unreadable beneath his dark sunglasses. Mr. Bad bites his finger as some parents cover there childrens eyes at the sight of Mr. Bad approaching to sign autographs with it. They slowly head to the ring and enter as the crowd shouts obscenities as them. Ultimo Dragon nod to each other as Mr. Bad enters the ring and they charge forward together, Mr. Big hasn’t even got up the ring steps yet! The Bell Rings!*
Mr. Bad suddenly finds himself on the receiving end of a double team attack as both members of Ultimo Dragon chop, punch and kick at him like one of those kung-fu wooden training devices. Mr. Bad seems to be enjoying the attention and shoves Ultimo to one side and asks fro another from Daryl. Daryl obliges and punches Mr. Bad in the face, Mr. Bad shakes his head as if possessed as the punches keep coming, then suddenly Mr. Bad emits a gargling roar and starts a double handed slapping attack on Daryl sending him to one of the neutral corners. Meanwhile Mr. Big has grabbed a hold of UC and thrown him out of the ring through the middle ropes before returning to his corner and taking off his sunglasses, his eyes look murderous.
*The crowd begins to chant Daryl’s name*
Why are they chanting? Because currently Daryl is stuck between the corner and massive girth. Mr. Bad is enjoying the suffering he is causing as his belly crushes Daryl in the corner. Mr. Bad walks away as Daryl collapses into a sitting position. Mr. Bad turns around and smiles like Rikishi would but throw in a few sour lemons and a cactus for a more accurate picture of Mr. Bad here. Mr. Bad charges forward intending on a rump shattering maneuver but Daryl has the good knowledge to move out of the way. Mr. Bad collides arse first into the turnbuckle, Daryl attempts to capitalize with a school boy pin as Ultimo Choculon waves his hands not to do it. Too late, Mr. Bad is far too heavy for such a pinning technique and ends up sitting on Daryl instead for a pinfall …
1,2 …
UC runs in and nails Mr. Bad with a dropkick knocking him off, just. Mr. Big shouts at the referee to do something and the referee listens and berates UC. This gives Big and Bad the time needed to double team Daryl as Mr. Big tags in and they hit a double powerbomb on Daryl. Mr. Big covers but the referee takes his time admonishing UC before turning back to the match to make the count …
1,2,3 ….
Daryl just kicks out and tries to get back to his corner, but Mr. Big drops a large elbow across Daryl and then drags him back to there corner and tags out to Mr. Bad. Mr. Bad goes to clothesline Daryl but he dives to the side, not wanting to lose an opportunity the grotesque Mr. Bad continues his run and smashes into Ultimo instead knocking him off the apron. As the referee goes to check on UC’s condition Mr. Bad turns around and Daryl and Bad face off in the ring. Daryl looking slightly worse for wear but at least he is standing.
*The crowd cheers on Ultimo Dragon, yelling there hearts out for the face tag team.*
Bad attempts to smile and tells Daryl to take his best shot. Daryl kicks at his midsection but all it does is jiggle. Daryl tries again from the other side but once again all it does shake. Daryl hits the ropes and attempts a dropkick but Daryl just bounces off Bad's gut and flies five feet away. Bad gurgles out that disgusting laugh of his and drops Daryl with a massive forearm across the back. Bad lays a few more forearms into him and sends him into the ropes, which Daryl tries to reverse but Bad doesn't move, instead sending Daryl to the mat with a short arm clothesline. Bad suddenly jumps up and attempts a splash but (thankfully) Daryl rolls out of the way and Bad goes splat on the mat. Bad tries to pick his massive girth up off the mat but he's having problems. Meanwhile Daryl has stood back up again and is kicking away at Bad's head. Daryl tries to roll him over for a pin but that's not happening as Bad is just too massive to move and Big comes in to swat Daryl away. Big helps Bad up (even he has trouble) and the two decide to double team Daryl. Big sends Daryl into the corner and attempts to whip Bad into him, but Daryl moves out of the way and Bad crashes into the corner for a second time in the match.
*The crowd begins a “Fat men can’t stop!” chant, to the irritation of Big and Bad*
Daryl makes a huge leap over and tags in UC who is back on the apron and immediately springboards off the top rope and dropkicks Big in the head. Big staggers but doesn't fall over so UC hits the ropes and nails him with a flying forearm. Big is teetering and almost hits the deck so UC hits the ropes one more time. UC leaps up for one more attempt but he's nailed mid air by a Mr. Bad POOOOOOOOUUUUNNNCCCEE!!!!!! which sends UC flying through the middle ropes and landing with a thud on the concrete.
*The crowd give an audible ooh at the impact, as Mr. Big tags in and then goes after UC.*
UC is trying to get back to his feet when the imposing shadow of Mr. Big falls across him, UC tentavily lloks around and find Mr. big staring down at him. Mr. Big swings his right arm like a hammer but UC quickly avoids the blow letting Big smash the guardrail with his fist instead. Mr. Big holds his hand in pain as UC clambers to the apron and leaps off with a running wheel kick. Mr. Big staggers into the guardrail from the blow but still won’t go down. UC tries to throw Big back in the ring but Big blocks this and lifts UC up into a press slam. Mr. Big throws Ultimo over the top rope into the ring. Mr. Big follows him in clearly revenge on his mind for what Choculon did to Curly Long on March 4th. Mr. Big grabs UC by the neck and seems to be looking for the ‘HFD’ ... but wait UC has got out of it at the last minute and grabs Big’s head bringing him down for a diamond cutter variation. Mr. Big is down and UC goes for the cover! …
1,2 …
Mr. Bad has managed to get in the ring though and rushes over and leaps high intending on splashing down on UC! … but Daryl who has now recovered some what from his earlier beating drags his teammate out of the cover … and instead Mr. Bad manages to splash Mr. Big!!
*The crowd cheers loudly as this is Ultimo Dragons chance!*
UC tries to make another cover but can’t get Mr. Bad off Mr. Big, he is just too heavy. It appears Mr. Bad has winded himself in the process of delivering the move and can’t get up by himself. Eventually UC gives up and takes a time out in his corner with Daryl. As the referee looks at his watch, we can see Mr. Big’s veins in his arms and head beginning to bulge as he tips the enormous bulk of Mr. Bad to one side. Mr. Big after much effort gets back to his feet but can do nothing as UC hits the ropes and he clips Big's knee out from under him, sending the giant of a man down to the mat. UC tags in Daryl who climbs up to the top rope as Big sees what's happening and attempts to keep it from occurring by ducking out of the ring to the apron. Daryl unable to now reach Mr. Big leaps off the top rope and hits Bad with a senton, but he bounces right off the man's bulbous stomach so high that he catches Big's head with a flying head scissors that sends him crashing back into the ring and into the corner. UC then jumps off of Bad's stomach and hits Big with the biggest Stinger Splash ever committed to celluloid.
*The fans begin to chant “All Hail the King” which UC salutes to in appreciation*
Mr. Big stumbles out of the corner right into UC and Daryl who nail him with a two man DDT. Mr. Big goes down like a fallen tree. Mr. Bad is now back on the apron pulling himself up as UC makes the cover.
1,2,3 ….
Mr. Big kicks out and throws Ultimo into his own corner, Daryl tags himself in and charges over to Mr. Big who has also managed to tag out. Daryl clips Mr. Bad with a flying back elbow as he gets in stunning him. Meanwhile Mr. Big and UC go at it on the other side of the ring they trade punches which Mr. Big easily dominates. With UC stunned Mr. Big hits the ropes going for a big lariat, but UC ducks it and Big flies over the top rope. Big hits the floor but gets up after only a few seconds as UC flies over the top with a Cannonball Run but Big catches him and powerbombs him right on the concrete. UC is laid out flat but Big doesn't care as he picks UC by the throat and HFD's him right on the steel guard rail. UC is bent backwards over the rail and slowly he falls to into the fans.
*The fans boo loudly, but Mr. Big just pulls his finger across his neck which garners him more boos.*
Back in the ring with the legal men and Daryl is in control. He has managed to get Mr. Bad tied up in the ropes and is pounding away on him with left and right kicks to the head. Mr. Bad is busted open from the abuse but sill looks like he is enjoying himself. Daryl believes Mr. Bad is ready to be finished and runs across the ring and bounces off the ropes no doubt intending to do some dragon style move. Unfortuantly Mr. Big is returning to his corner after demolishing UC and unhooks Mr. Bad from the ropes by simply reaching them. Daryl is unaware and leaps for a dragonsteiner type move, Mr. Bad moves out the way though and sends Daryl crahing into the ropes. Daryl tries to pick himself up from the wreckage of his own move but can do nothing as Mr. Bad latches onto him with The Bayanhongor Fracture Clasp!
[i*The crowd boos and jeers while chants for Daryl Dragon can be heard.*[/i]
But Mr. Bad has the move locked in and between his sweaty arms of blubber and his rotund offal filled belly there is nothing Daryl Dragon can do. UC struggles to the side of there ring but he is pretty much out of it. As blood from Mr. Bad’s busted bald head drips down his nose Daryl Dragon screams and screams in agony, until he nods his head in defeat, the referee signals for the bell!
*The Bell Rings*
THE FINK: The winner of this match … the team of Big and Bad!!
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Mar 25, 2007 22:16:50 GMT -5
*Mr. Bad however has not released Daryl Dragon and is crushing the life out of him. Mr. Big applauds his partner and his appetite for inflicting pain. Several referees enter the ring, but only after more prolonged damage does Mr. Bad release Daryl Dragon. Daryl Dragon slumps to the canvas, his chest is bleeding from the horrifying bear hug. As the crowd shouts abuse towards the pair Mr. Big and Mr. Bad raise there hands in victory.*
*This all disappears though as “Mooninites by Schooly D” hits from the speaker system, and on the stage Zeleke and Faboon sit cross-legged. In there hands they hold a party popper and a microphone each.*
FABOON: Winnie the Pooh said something wise once …
ZELEKE: Party in three …
FABOON: Two …
ZELEKE: twelve!
FABOON: Alpha …
ZELEKE & FABOON (Together): Donkeys about you!!
*Raftshack pull the party poppers which fire crappy paper out of them with a small bang but at the same time thousands of blue and yellow balloons fall from the ceiling of the arena. Big and Bad are engulfed as Zeleke and Faboon crab walk there way backstage giddy with excitement or possibly brandy schnapps. Meanwhile Big and Bad look furious as they wade through the balloons to get backstage. On the yellow ballons it says “ASSAULTS HURT!” whilst on the blue balloons it says “REVENGE HURTS WORSE!”*
The fans are expecting the next match up but instead they get "From Sinking" on the PA, which wasn't supposed to be on the card. They go right into "boo" mode as Oceanic comes out from the back and she's looking very different than usual. Her hair is tied back in a very formal hairstyle and she's wearing quite the elegant evening gown with the Tri State Title draped over her shoulder. She walks down the aisle, smiling for a change, and enters the ring paying no mind to the negative crowd reaction and takes the microphone.
Oceanic: "Is everybody enjoying the show so far?"
Guess what the crowd does. Oceanic doesn't care though. In fact, she laughs at the jeering audience.
Oceanic: "Oh, so sorry. Am I wrecking your good time? Awwwwwwww, poor babies! You want to see some more matches, don't you? Well, so do I. But I'd rather that I was in it defending my, that's right, MY Tri State Title against whatever man thinks he can take me. But I wasn't scheduled to wrestle tonight, so I'm afraid that we're all going to be disappointed. However I tend to make positives out of negatives. That's why I stand before you now. I'm giving you an eyeful what a real lady looks like. In fact, I'm the only real lady in the entire EWT. I've seen the tramps that parade around here calling themselves ladies but make no mistake, I'm the only real woman here.. Terina, Trish, Juri, Synthy, and whatever that Tennille freak is, they are all gutter trash compared to me! They should all be on the street corner selling themselves to sailors on shore leave instead of being here and trying to measure up to me, which they couldn't even come close to on their best night!"
She gets booed again but she's grinning because she got under the fan's skin.
Oceanic: "That's right, deal with it. And not only that, I'm here to show you what a real CHAMP-I-ON looks like. You may have forgotten since a lot of the so called "big boys" are ducking me. Now don't get me wrong. There have been a lot of great champions who've held this belt before me, but I'm about to overshadow each and every single one of those guys. Because as much as you don't want to admit it, as much as it pains you to even think about it, you will all have to face facts. And that fact is that I will...................."
"PREPARE TO BE INFECTED!"
Oceanic goes from zero to pissed as she turns to see Virus come out from the back while "Purify" precedes him. The crowd gives Virus a hearty welcome as he walks down the ramp toward the ring. Virus enters and takes the mic away from Oceanic, who just looks at him with disgust but otherwise isn't all too flustered.
Virus: "For the love of god, will you please give it a rest! Ok! We get it. You won the Tri State Title. Goodie for you. But do we have to hear about it every time you get near a microphone? It's no wonder you couldn't get booked for the PPV. Everybody was bored to death by your constant yammering! Nobody wants to listen to you! Nobody cares! So please, for our sake, will you please SHUT UP!"
This gets a massive pop for Virus, who eggs the crowd on with a "SHUT THE **** UP!" chant. Oceanic stews for a few moments before taking the mic back.
Oceanic: "You know, it never ceases to amaze me how hypocritical you people are. You don't give me, a real woman and a real champion, the respect I deserve. But you'll give this doofus, who hasn't done anything of any real value, a standing ovation like he's royalty. What is it about you, Virus? Why do these people cheer for you? You're nobody!"
Virus snatches the mic away suddenly and gives his response.
Virus: "Because I actually CARE what they think! Because I actually try to entertain them instead of just trying to figure out 'what's in it for me'! And most importantly... because I'm not a b**** with a chip on her shoulder!"
The crowd erupts as finally someone says what everyone's thinking. Virus turns and raises his arms up to the crowd's adulation, soaking it all in. Meanwhile Oceanic has calmly turned and placed her Tri State Title on the mat, removed her high heels, turned back around, and super kicks Virus in the back. Virus stumbles forward against the ropes as Oceanic pounds away on him with a series of elbows to the skull. She attempts to send Virus into the ropes but Virus reverses and delivers a Big Boot to the skull, sending Oceanic down to the mat. Oceanic scrambles back up to her feet when suddenly Virus grabs her evening gown and rips it right off! Oceanic stands there shocked in only her underthings and quickly covers herself up with her arms and rolls out of the ring. She gets a few steps up the ramp but runs back to the ring and grabs the Tri State Title, covering herself up with it as best as she can. She scampers up the ramp as fast as she can and gives Virus a death glare as he stands in the ring, taunting her with her own evening gown by waving it like a matador. Oceanic disappears as "Purify" comes back on, leaving Virus to celebrate and slap fives with the fans.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Mar 25, 2007 22:17:18 GMT -5
*The ring bell rings loudly to tell everyone that the next match is about to begin.*
Finkel: The next match is scheduled for one fall and it is the Falls Count Anywhere Tornado Tag Finisher Match!
* “Young, Dumb, & Ugly” by Weird Al begins to play over the speakers. *
*Jobby bursts from out of the EWT curtain, pointing at random members of the audience as he runs from the right to the left side of the stage. At the 0:29 mark, he runs back in the middle of the ramp and at the 0:37 Axel explodes from out of the EWT curtain. Jobby holds his hand out, while Axel basks in the cheers that they receive.*
Finkel: From Jobstown, NJ & Modesto, CA respectively... Weighting in at 498... "The Wrestle Posse"! Tenacious J!
*Axel leans in like Jobby, grabs his hand, and points at Jobby.*
Finkel: And A!
*Jobby grins very cheerily before giving a pair of thumbs up. Jobby begins to walk down the ramp, while Axel is halted at the top of the ramp. Jobby runs around the spot on the ramp where Axel would be in a circle. As he runs from side to side to high five fans, Axel walks fast to catch up.*
Finkel: And their designated finisher for this match... The Execution!
*Axel gives a slow spin as he catches up with Jobby before climbing the steps. He walks through the ropes and climbs the nearest turnbuckle, giving little cheers as the crowd loves Jobby's hyper version of Bruce Springstein's Dancin' In The Dark dance move. Axel waves off the crowd, getting a few crowd members doing it back to him. He steps down just as Jobby rolls into the ring then proceeds to disrobe from his jacket. Jobby energetically points at Axel with both hands as Axel slowly reaches up for his shades. Axel pulls them off to a bit of fanfare then hands them off. They both wait for their opponents to make their entrances while their music slowly fades away.*
Finkel: And introducing their first opponents!
*The lights go off, replaced by flashing multicolor lights and strobes. "Different World" blasts over the speakers and without any Jaguar, TJT arrive onto the stage, greeted by a massive amount of boos.*
Finkel: Being accompanied to the ring by Terina, from San Diego California, and at a combined in-ring weight of 456 pounds....T.........J.........T!
*Terina is in the middle of her two men, clad in her managerial gear, and Thunder and Jupiter are wearing a type of leather jacket they have not previously used for the ring--long black trench coats with big golden epaulettes on the shoulders, buckles on the front, big pockets on the sides, trimmed by gold, and golden flecks about the jacket in running veins. The jackets are open, hanging down, and Thunder and Jupiter are lashing out with their usual insults at the fans. They advance to the ring, she climbs up on the apron, but she quickly drops back down, realizing that Thunder and Jupiter could be open for attack if they perform their usual entrance. As such, the trio advances to the announce table, take off their sunglasses, jewelry, and coats. The two men slide into the ring, and take position at a corner, as the lights resume back to normal operations and their music dies off.*
Finkel: And their designated finished for this match... Thunder has Struck to Jupiter!
*"We Die Young" by Alice In Chains as the arena lights dim to near darkness*
Finkel: Being accompanied to the ring by Wraith..from Parts Unknown..representing The Draugr, and at a combined weight of 450 pounds.....Ghost Face and Corpse!
*The three Draugr members step out onto the stage, looking as though they had just climbed out a tomb. The trio makes a slow trek to the ring, accompanied by a thick fog effect. Adding to their already creepy visuals, Ghost Face and Corpse have decided to add to their respective looks on this occasion. Ghost Face has make up on, designed to look as though he had just suffered a gruesome, gun shot shell to the forehead. Corpse on the other hand, has applied the make up to make it appear as though his throat had been sliced open. Ghost Face and Corpse slide into the ring, on their hands and knee's with their heads lowered downwards*
Finkel: And their designated finisher for this match... The Road To Nowhere!
*All three teams are in the ring, eyes darting back and forth at their opponents. Ghost Face & Corpse look at both Axel & Jobby the same way wolves would look at a herd of sheep. Axel tightens & adjusts his gloves while staring a hole through both members of TJT. Jobby's face is full of horror as he look as the murderous individuals that are the Draugr; it seems that she face is devoid of all color. Thunder looks confidently at Axel, mouthing words of just how lucky he was last time, while Jupiter focuses all his attention on the frightened Jobby. The referee calls for the bell and the match is away!*
*Axel runs to meet Thunder and Jupiter charges at Jobby in wreckless abandon. Both pairs slug at each other evenly while the two Draugr members look on, seemingly taking in the sight as if it was a beautiful painting. This doesn't last long, as Ghost Face joins Thunder in grounding Axel while Corpse grabs and holds Jobby in order for Jupiter to get his free shots in. This doesn't please the crowd one bit, and they openly throw their thoughts to TJT & The Draugr with little tact. Just when it seems that this maybe a bad handicap match, Thunder pushes Ghost Face back in order to give Axel a stomp to the face. Ghost Face responds with a Dropkick to the back of Thunders head that sends him over the ropes. Jupiter, seeing his partner being attacked, rushes over and gives a Clothesline to Ghost Face that drives him down to the mat. Corpse does little to help his downed partner, as he now has poor Jobby all to his self. But as he pounds as away at Jobby, Jobby begins to fight back with a few rights to the stomach of his attacker. Axel begins to stir and pulls himself up by the ropes as Jupiter continues his unrelenting stomps on Ghost Face. See as how Jupiter has his back to him, Axel uses this to his advantage by running and catching Jupiter's head into a Neckbreaker. Meanwhile Thunder re-enters the ring as Jobby has Corpse reeling on his feet after a few hard blows. Just as Jobby goes for his wind up punch, Corpse hits a Dropsault that catches Jobby off his feet, hitting Axel in the face with a foot, and finishing by landing on Jupiter. The crowd openly gasps at Corpse's amazing feat.*
*Thunder throws a Wheel Kick which Ghost Face avoids by ducking. Ghost Face responds with a Spinning Heel Kick that just misses Jimmy. Just as Ghost Face lands, Thunder starts a stiff combo of moves that he calls his Thunder Blaze. Shot after shot connects, leaving Ghost Face open seemingly opening for a finishing blow. But he quickly recovers with a Dropkick to the Knee that brings Jimmy to his knees. At the same time, Corpse has Jobby in a painful Arm Wrench. Just as one would think that Jobby can't scream any louder, Corpse pulls Jobby's hand towards his mouth and begins biting Jobby's fingers! Jobby desperately hits Corpse in the gut to have him release the bite and just as Jobby's hand is free, Corpse gets a mouthful of Axel's size 13 boot. On the other side of the ring, Jupiter has saved Jimmy from Ghost Face's onslaught and now both members of TJT have now ganged up on Ghost Face. Jason holds Ghost Face in a tight Sleeper Hold while Jimmy wails on him with punches and kicks. After a few hard shots, Jupiter turns Ghost Face around for he & Thunder to hit a high impact Double Back Suplex.*
*Just as it looks like Axel & Jobby have Corpse right where they want them, Wraith gets involved hits a rope assisted Neckbreaker on Jobby. Axel responses with a vicious Elbow that knocks Wraith loop (or looper), he then grabs Wraith's head and drives it into his knee. And while it temporarily gets Wraith out of the match, it leaves him open for Corpse to barely hit Cobra Clutch Suplex on Axel which causes Axel to land on Jobby. The focus of the match returns to TJT as they hit a Con-Chair-To-esque Double Dropkick to Ghost Face. Before they can do anymore damage, Corpse tries to break up the TJT advantage but is met with a Double Flapjack for his troubles. Jupiter points to a turnbuckle near the ramp and both members of TJT whip Ghost Face to it. They lift him up in the air to plant him on the turnbuckle, they then grab Corpse and whip him over the ropes to the outside. As they both climb the turnbuckle where Ghost Face is prone, he begins to fight back. But to no avail as they quickly double team him and set up for a Double Top Rope Superplex. But just as they are about to jump, both Axel & Jobby rush forward and push TJT forward. What results next is pure chaos... TJT go flying forward, taking Ghost Face with them, and all three end up landing on Wraith (who was going to check on Corpse).*
Crowd: HOLY SH**! HOLY SH**! HOLY SH**!
*Terina screams and rushes over to check on her boys, while Axel & Jobby give each other a high five. Jobby sees Corpse rising and tells Axel to get out of the way. Jobby runs at full speed towards Corpse, looking for a Suicide Dive, but stops just as he reaches the ropes to attempt the Job Out on Corpse, but is instead met with a Spinning Wheel Kick that sends Jobby down to the mat besides Corpse. Axel, seeing this turn of events, rushes forth and hits a Baseball Slide on Corpse. He rolls out of the ring, seeking to continue his attack on Corpse. Thunder, Jupiter, and Ghost Face are finally beginning to stir. But Wraith remains immobile on the outside mat. Axel goes to Whip Corpse into the stairs but is reversed and ends up hitting the stairs himself. Now all involved in the match are down, but Corpse is quickly making it to his feet as are each of the match competitors. Thunder repeatedly strikes Jobby, Axel lays some Elbow Strikes on Corpse, and Ghost Face punches away at Jupiter. Yet it quickly deteriorates into a mosh pit of sorts that is slowly making it's way up the ramp. Thunder breaks away from the pack and waits at the middle of the ramp. The rest of those involved in the match cluster together, driving each other closer and closer to the EWT curtain with each hard it. Suddenly Thunder unloads with a Thunderbolt that sends everyone crashing through the curtain and into the back.*
*The crowd is suprised by this turn of events, and for a while there is absolutely no on-screen action other than Terina circling around the main stage and finding a side route backstage. After a few moments of silence, we cut to another camera, this one just backstage. The 6 participants (and Wraith) have risen back to their feet at this point, and are continuing their brawling. It is an absolute cluster of fighting, all three teams throwing punches, kicks and other blows. They're hitting their enemies of course, but the action is in such close quarters that they may be attacking themselves as well. Suddenly, the action begins to break up a bit as the teams separate from the brawl and regroup, all facing one another in a triangle of 7 men, all breathing heavily for a moment and stopping abruptly.*
*Eyes are darting back and forth, as if waiting for someone to cave in and attack. Jimmy Thunder, growing impatient, is the first to charge. He rushes headlong at Axel, but his target sidesteps him and launches him down the hallway into a larger square-shaped area. Being thrown, Thunder lands shoulder-first into the door of a chain link fence, enclosing a zone used for storage. Axel advances, throwing Jim's head into the fence a few times. There must be brawling in the background, as Jupiter and Corpse are punching each other back and forth, advancing to the chain link enclosure. Ghost Face follows up from behind, attempting to help his partner grab Jason for some kind of brutal intention. But Corpse seems more interested in Axel, and as soon as his teammate arrives, takes the fight to the visible member of WP. He stiffly kicks Ax in the spine, making him wince, and giving Thunder a chance to get back to his feet. Thunder notices Jupiter being taken down to the floor by Ghost Face and immediately pulls the twisted being off of his friend. Thunder and Jupiter, both seeming a little dazed, each grab an arm, wrench them at the same times, but Ghost Face skins the cat and gives both of them a jumping kick, pushing them into the cage.*
*Meanwhile, Jobby has been fighting Wraith in all of this, and it has been very back and forth. Wraith eventually hits a high kick to the chest of Jobby and sends him stumbling into a wall, and hurriedly looks for a weapon. He notices a few iron nails in an open box, and pulls them out. He aims them like darts, and throws one at Jobby, striking him in the arm and piercing it. He advances closer, and lands another one, this time drawing blood. He becomes nearly orgasmic over this and gets to point blank range, but Jobby grabs him by the arm, and twists his hand, causing him to drop the nails. He grabs him by the shoulder, and with a toss showing his true strength, tosses Wraith through the nearby wall! While not particularly thick, the impact has left him down and out, and Jobby regains his composure, briskly walking toward the continuing action.*
*By now, Thunder, Jupiter, Axel, Ghost Face and Corpse have gotten to the inside of the cage. Jupiter and Ghost Face are locked up, and Ghost Face goes for a snap suplex. Jason hooks the leg, and goes for a lift, but gets his leg hooked. Ghost Face goes again, getting Jason off the ground a little, but the technician of TJT using his weight to drop back down. He manages to lift his adversary up now, but Ghost Face drops down around and fells him with a beautiful lungblower. Thunder and Corpse are hammering away at a now-downed Halaway, but before they can do much else, Jobby rushes in to make the save and double clotheslines both of them. Before he can even help his partner up, Corpse arrives onto the scene and bulldogs Jobby from behind. He rises up, only to receive a number of punches from Axel; the repeated blows sending him in reeling. Thunder arrives standing, and gets into the brawl as well. The three men are trading shots, until Ghost Face and Jason Jupiter arrive on things, adding themselves to the conflict readily As they fight one another, Jobby tiredly crawls back up to his feet, and the 7 men viciously engage in a flurry of moving fists and feet, seeming almost like one uneasy monster.*
*It may be curiosity driving him to do so, but Wraith forces himself out of things to find a large garage-style door in the area. Next to it is a button, which he presses. The door automatically opens itself, and outside is none other than the EWT arena parking garage. Somehow everyone comes inside, brawling about. Corpse and Jobby separate from the pack and fight one another to a silver sedan of ambiguous production. Corpse slams the head of McJobberston into the hood of the car several times, and leans his head over the side. He runs back and comes over, looking to give him a running dropkick, but Jobby tucks his head in and Corpse ends up throwing his feet into the corner of the passenger side, barely avoiding putting himself through the window; a shattering glass pane would most certainly have caused him pain. But the camera does not permanently focus on this action, as the garage is rife with action.*
*Cut to another section of the garage, this view featuring Axel, Wraith, Ghost Face, Thunder and Jupiter fighting. The violence is focused around the Jaguar of TJT’s, Jason and Jim doing their best to protect it from getting totaled as best they can. Thunder retreats to the trunk and pops it open for no apparent reason, but he pulls out a baseball bat. He signals for Jason to catch, and he pulls one out himself. Jimmy takes a swing at Wraith, who ducks and goes for a sweep kick. Thunder leaps over and swings down, clocking the ghoul straight in the head with the bat and apparently keeping him down. With his bat, Jason deters Ghost face from advancing at him, but instead goes after Axel. He swings, catches Axel in the chest, and noticing that Thunder is ready to back body drop him, whips him at Jimmy. Thunder puts his head down, but before he realizes it--*
THUD!
*--and his head feels the cold asphalt, courtesy of a running DDT from Axel Halaway. Jason notices what he’s done wrong and takes swing at Axel, but before he can even hit him gets a running dropkick. Ghost Face has scaled a nearby SUV and leaps with his feet held forward, taking out Axel with a missile dropkick. All of the men in the vicinity are down, and there is little action for a few minutes. Yet, the fans aren’t bored. Some are seething, some are cheering, and some do not know what to make of it exactly. Slowly and surely, all of the visible people in the match rise up, teams dispersed, and cut into a fight. Jobby and Corpse have still been fighting car side. Corpse grabs a now standing Jobby by the hair and attempts to slam him through the passenger side window, but Jobby blocks and throws him off for a while.*
*Thunder however is back up to his feet and throws Axel into a concrete support pillar. Axel collapses, seemingly crumpling upon the thick, rectangular column. Thunder charges, but abruptly stops. He hobbles over to Jason Jupiter and helps him up, whispers something in his ear, and they drag Axel over to a nearby coupe. With a nearby bat of his, Thunder smashes open the window and unlocks the door. Jason props Axel’s leg on the inside of the doorway, and Thunder is about to slam it when Wraith charges him from behind. Thunder is pushed into the door and his head flies through the opened window immobilizing him for a few moments; the force caused by this almost forces the door onto Axel—but is just inches from doing so when it slows down and gently knocks into his knee. Showing that he still has some energy in this fight, Axel acts as though he has been shot, and the blatant oversell tricks the dazed Jason Jupiter into going to pick him up. As soon as Jason brings Axel to his feet, he is nearly hit with a chop. Within a minute of nothing but errant chops, everyone is back to the group, brawling with one another nearly in a cloud, unintentionally working their way back inside the main arena building.*
*The fistfight erupts into a melee in mere moments. Thunder socks Corpse—right in the Adam’s apple, no less--and as he jumps in the air for a dropkick, he gets hit with a steel chair tossed at him from Wraith, who has dragged himself back into things with a bang. Axel and Jason Jupiter once again break out of things and focus on one another, but this time actually do hit one another with well aimed chops, each intensifying more than the last. Being more powerful and resilient, Axel outmatches Jason and lifts him up, looking for a prime area to “put him down.” With him in a scoop slam position, Axel rams Jason into the concrete wall attached to the chain link fencing. Jason attempts to fight back with dizzy and untrained blows, but these do not faze Axel, who finds a pile of old lumber. He runs and tosses Jason out, dropping him onto the wood and temporarily incapacitating him. Looking for a way to follow up, he finds the perfect solution—an empty fuel drum. He prepares to push it at two distant adversaries…*
*Thunder, McJobberston, and the Draugr are occupied with one another, when Jim unleashes his Thunder Blaze on Wraith and punches him into near oblivion, dropping him to his knees and grabbing Ghost Face, hoisting him up, and prepares a Thunder Crash through a nearby crate. In the meantime, Jobby and Corpse are fighting, and eventually pull directly behind them, Jobby facing Thunder and Corpse facing away from Jim. Corpse goes to high kick Jobby, clips him, and goes for another high kick. Jobby catches this one, and grins in excitement. All of a sudden, the sound of something metallic rolling can be heard. Corpse’s beady eyes suddenly bug out as he notices none other than a fuel drum barreling at them. He points at it, and yells in alarm…*
Corpse: Let me go, you fool!
Jobby: No way, it’s a trick, and I’ve got you ready for the—
Axel: JOBBY! Look out!
Jobby: What?
*Before Jobby can even turn around to notice the peril rolling right at him, it hits his legs from behind and trips him up, causing him to stumble and make Corpse fall into Thunder, who, holding onto Ghost Face, falls face forward, sending both of them right through the thick, wooden crate with a sickening crash. Cutting back to Axel, he winces; knowing his attempt to sabotage everyone was doomed to fail as soon as Jobby came into the middle of it. He turns around to face the downed Jupiter, but faces a nasty surprise.*
*Jason Jupiter has risen up and gets a running knee on Axel. He takes him over to a shelf used for storing lighting equipment. Pulling out a cord, he hits Ax a few times and wraps the wiring about his throat, tugging away. He holds it in for a while, but Axel finds a stage camera on the same shelf, grabs it, and hits Jason in the head, making him drop the cord and stagger about. Axel recovers and charges at Jason with it, only for Jason to collapse and Axel rush with it into a window, smashing the pane and crashing through. Wraith, Jobby, Corpse, and Jim are battling out of the cage and forcing each other down through the hall. Ghost Face sees Jupiter downed, picks him up, and tosses him through the open window space and climbs through. He stomps at the downed Jason and Axel, but Ax grabs him by the ankles and pulls him down, crawling over to him and choking him with his bare hands; something not seen in Axel very often. He gets up and hits him with a sitout chokeslam. Jason gets up, only to receive his head slammed into the window frame, drawing out blood and draining him for the moment. Axel's won this round, and with no technical way to win at the moment, grabs a steel chair and sits down on it, taking a bit of a breather next to his downed adversaries.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Mar 25, 2007 22:17:45 GMT -5
*On the other hand, Thunder, Jobby, Corpse and Wraith have been making their way down the hall. They are in the area of the locker rooms. Thunder slams Jobby's head into the door of an unmarked room a couple of times, but gets thrown off by Corpse and Wraith. Corpse finds a box of tools and smacks it into Jobby's head, dropping him to the floor. He begins to pull out various implements, until he finds himself a wrench. He strikes down at his skull, but Jobby moves his head side to side to avoid getting struck. Corpse sticks it around his teeth eventually, and starts to pull, Jobby yelping in pain yet Corpse smiling like some form of possessed dentist. Thunder and Wraith are trading shots. Wraith knees him in the stomach and lands a swinging neckbreaker, and grabs a screwdriver from the box of tools. He climbs atop the downed Thunder and thrusts it against the forehead of Jimmy, making him scream. It is seemingly to draw blood. As the forehead reddens, it seems as though the drive and ecstasy of the blood that propels the undead grapplers shall spurt and simply intensify the assault the two Draugr members are presenting. Their force comes nearer and nearer, until, all of a sudden, a wailing voice is heard, in a quick crescendo as it comes nearer.*
Voice: AAAAAAGH!
*Jack Jupiter, metal pipe in hand, charges at Wraith. Before the ghastly creature can retaliate, he is hit in the head with the weapon. Quickly following from behind is Terina. She runs up from behind Corpse and gives him a flip neckbreaker. Holding onto the back of his neck, he attempts to rise and face his opponents, only for Jack to rush at him. He kicks him square in the abdomen, but gets kicked in the pit of his knees by Terina, attempting to distract him. He slowly staggers to his feet, sinisterly turning around, but gets clocked with the pipe from Jack just before he can further his efforts. Jupiter drops the pipe and begins to pant, as Terina gestures for him to go after Jobby.*
*The camera returns to Axel who has slowly began to rise to his feet, now a complete and bloody mess from inadvertently diving through the glass window pane moments ago. He snatches Ghost Face up by his blonde dreadlocks and begins to toss some slow but stiff punches at his face. Ghost Face reels but an odd, crooked grin soon inches across his face. This is because the sight of Axel covered in his own blood looks very reminiscent of a horror movie scene, something The Draugr members covet so deeply. Before Axel can throw any more punches, he is nailed with a low blow from behind by Jupiter. Axel falls to his knee's in obvious pain while Ghost Face staggers backwards in a daze. Fresh blood runs from Jupiter's face down onto his chest as he spins Axel around and hits him with "The Solarbuster", his version of a Brain Buster. Axel's head makes a sickening thud as he lay in a limp heap; the crowd watching heard making a wincing "OOH" sound. Jupiter has no time to press his advantage, as a pot of steaming hot coffee is suddenly tossed his way, no doubt left behind by a frantic, backstage escapee. Jason realizes the impending personal disaster that could take place and attempts to dodge the flying pot of steaming liquid, but he still is hit. Not where it would most hurt, as coffee has spilled about his legs and feet, steam rising from stains all over his pants and boots. He has most likely sustained first degree burns, luckily for him, but he is still yelling in pain. Jason hauls himself up in an attempt to get out of the vicinity, but falls back down, the pain from everything that has recently taken place being too much for him to handle. He notices a door a bit aways that reads “LOCKER ROOM AREA, EMPLOYEES ONLY.” Perhaps acting on instinct, Jason makes his way to the door, still downed, and as he opens, descends upon a scene of action. *
*Ghost Face stalks after Jupiter as he crawls along on his hands and knee's still feeling the burning sensation. Unfortunately for him, a 258 pound freight train comes crashing into him, sending him sailing backwards and onto his back. Jobby lays face first on the ground; he had been flung rather violently into Ghost Face by one Jack Jupiter. He drags Jobby to his feet, only to send him crashing onto the rock hard, unforgiving floor with a Ura-nage Slam! Jack looks rather proud of himself, turning away from Jobby to find another potential target. However, Jack soon almost finds his head removed from his shoulders by a brutal Clothesline courtesy of Redface Rodgers! The big man hauls up the stunned 19 year old and absolutely flattens his rival with "The Red Scare”, a running crossbody slam! Redface shouts down at Jack, who is gasping for air, before quickly making a hasty exit*
*Meanwhile, we spot Jobby, rising to his feet, blood running down his mouth after Corpse attempted to liberate one of his teeth from his mouth. He sees Ghost Face withering about and decides that fortune is smiling upon him. Hoisting the creepy Draugr member onto his shoulders, he looks to perform some kind of maneuver onto the unforgiving ground. He never gets the chance as he is met with a Superkick from Corpse, making an audible "SMACK" on his jaw, sending him crumbling to the floor. Ghost Face lands on his hands and knee's, slowly getting back to his feet. Blood is seen running from the back of Corpse's head, from the earlier pipe shot, dripping onto the back of his gray shirt. The two horror aficionados drag Jobby up by his arms and proceed to lay him across a table, laying a few shots with closed fists for good measure. Ghost Face and Corpse vanish for a few moments before the camera pans upwards; the two have scaled a pair of ladders setting them up on either side of the table! Taking a leap of faith, Ghost Face going for a Leg Drop and Corpse going for a Splash, they fall from their great heights, plummeting towards Jobby in an attempt to hit The Road To Nowhere! ..But at the absolute, a bloodied Thunder makes a reappearance and yanks Jobby from the table!*
*Ghost Face and Corpse crash through the table, splinters and wood erupting as the crash leaves them in a great deal of pain. Obviously, Thunder only saved Jobby because if he would have been hit the match would have been awarded to his opponents. He proves this by swiftly Spearing Jobby out of his boots with the Thunderbolt! Jobby is flattened and Jason Jupiter slowly makes his way onto the scene, still feeling the effects of having a large amount of piping hot coffee chucked at him. Terina had followed along Jupiter, shouting at the battered TJT members to end it. The two comply as Thunder hoists Jobby upwards into a crucifix position. Jupiter staggering to the front, looking to hit a Cutter and complete the "Thunder has Struck to Jupiter" This is quickly put to an end by a blood drenched, barely recognizable Axel Halaway who charges into the scene and takes Jason Jupiter down with the "Ax Handle" a Cutter of his own. Unable to complete the tandem move, Thunder allows Jobby to wiggle free from his grasp, turning to face Axel where he is promptly met with kick straight to the crotch. Not flashy but effective, as every man is spent from this wild affair*
*Terina begins to scream, not because TJT failed to complete their finisher, but because she has been snatched by the hair by Wraith. He roughly pulls her backwards, glaring into her eyes for a moment, before shoving her aside; the Wrestle Posse members taking initiative in his mind. He soon attacks Axel and Jobby, taking both men down with a surprise double Clothesline. Finding a steel trash can, he hoists it above his head before cracking it upon Axel's face. Axel drops like a rock and Wraith waits for him to stagger to his feet before taking another wild swing, this time, Axel is able to narrowly duck the incoming attack. Wraith sounds finds himself slammed backwards into a wall, both Wrestle Posse members charging their shoulders into his stomach, forcing him to drop the trash can. The green haired fiend is lifted from his feet and sent into his own weapon, courtesy of a Double Spine Buster, the trash can crunching underneath his weight. Axel and Jobby turn their focus away from Wraith, as he is not an official part of the match and performing a finisher on him would not win them the match. Instead, Thunder has become their new target. Thunder finds himself lifted upon Jobby's shoulders, the set-up for The Execution. All that is left is for Axel to complete his portion of the move but something has frozen him in his tracks*
*A strange look woman stands before Axel. Short, white colored hair, gray make up covering her face, a few bits of it made to look like stitching. Her face is expressionless, her eyes pulled wide open which are hidden behind a pair of yellow, cat like eye contacts. Axel edges a few steps closer to her*
Axel: K…Karma?
*The woman responds by opening her mouth however, no words come out. Instead, a trail of black liquid oozes out, trickling down her body and onto the floor. Axel's eyes widen, showing a combination of terror and confusion. Jobby, meanwhile, is understandably confused as to why The Execution has not been performed. He lowers himself, Thunder slipping from his shoulders. He turns to Axel, ready to snap his attention back to the task at hand but is cut off by a harsh boot to the gut from Jupiter. Thunder waists no time and getting Jobby back into position for the "Thunder has Struck to Jupiter" and this time Jupiter completes the move, hitting the inverted cutter while Thunder lands the crucifix Powerbomb, sending Jobby hard onto the floor! Howard Finkel's voice is heard over the arena's sound system.*
Finkel: Here are your winners…T………J………T!
*Terina helps TJT steady themselves as "Different World" can be heard playing, both men looking as though they had been in a horrible car wreck, bloodied and battered. Jack Jupiter rises to his feet as well, clutching his ribs helping the victors as well. Axel, just realizing what has happened, turns to find Jobby crumpled in a heap upon the ground. The woman has completely vanished as well as the three members of The Draugr; Terina and Jack are assisting Jason and Jim in unceremoniously limping out of the scene at a brisk pace. Axel still seems to be in a state of shock at the combined events that had just taken place.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Mar 25, 2007 22:18:04 GMT -5
* Just as the ring announcer is about to speak, Jesse Nunez comes flying out of the entryway. Trik Turner follows him out & grabs Nunez, bodyslamming him on the metal stage. Trik drags Nunez by the hair & throws him into the graveyard area of the set up. Trik grabs Nunez but Nunez scoops up dirt & throws it into Trik’s face. As Trik is blinded, Nunez hits him with a dropkick. Nunez grabs Trik & hits him with a German Suplex. Nunez grabs Trik & throws him into a tombstone. Nunez starts kicking Trik in the midsection. Nunez lifts up Trik & throws him hard enough into another tombstone, breaking it. Trik is now busted open. Nunez grabs a piece of the tombstone & drops down on Trik’s midsection with it. Nunez then throws the piece at Trik’s crotch area. A bloody Trik writhes in pain. Nunez picks up Trik & starts dragging him towards the ring. As Nunez throws Trik into the ring, he suddenly gets dragged under the ring. Nunez rolls out from under the ring, bloody. Nunez gets into the ring & grabs Trik. As he gets Trik to his feet, Trik manages to hit a chin breaker on Nunez. Trik grabs Nunez & throws him out of the ring. Trik catapults himself over the top rope. Trik grabs Nunez & throws him into the barricade. Trik charges at him & hits a dropkick on him. Trik hits a bulldog on Nunez followed up with a standing moonsault. Trik goes for a pin, but the referee motions that it has to be in the ring. Trik grabs Nunez & throws him in the ring. Trik climbs into the ring & grabs Nunez. Nunez manages to reverse it into the Suspended Belief. Nunez grabs Trik & hits him with The End, as he goes for the cover. The referee counts 1-2-3, as a bloody Nunez gets to his feet & the referee proclaims him the winner.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Mar 25, 2007 22:18:44 GMT -5
Finkel: This match is scheduled for ONE-FALL with a 25 minute time limit. It is for the Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation World Tag-Team Championship and it is a HARDCORE MATCH!
*Dorf’s music plays*
Coming down the aisle, weighing in at 270 pounds, from Filthadelphia, Pencilvania, he is one-half of the team, Turkey & Cheese…..DORF!
*Dorf enters, upset after hearing that last intro announcement coming from Finkel’s mouth. He comes out to cheers and tries to smile with the crowd by bringing out the CHEESE SANDWICH! He does his usual cocky strut down the aisle and strolls into the ring just fine and dandy.*
*"Puff The Magic Dragon" by Peter, Paul, and Mary plays*
Finkel: Coming down the aisle, weighing in at 245 pounds, from the land of piece and happiness, he is the other half of the team, Turkey & Cheese…..APE LOVE!
*Ape love enters the CrapTron eating a turkey & cheese sandwich. He smiles after taking a big bite as right behind him are three hippy ladies following him with similar psychedelic clothing strut. Ape Love enters the ring fine, but dorf looks at him pissed off. Ape, a man who once had boo’s, not finally gets his just do by receiving cheers from the audience, because who hates an Ape Love? Nobody, that’s who’s. *
*"I'm Shipping Up to Boston" by Dropkick Murphys plays for Team Ireland begins.*
Finkel: Coming down the aisle, at a combined weight of 396 pounds, being accompanied to the ring by their Coach, Pat O’Hare, the current reigning & defending EWT World Tag-Team Champions, they are Aidan Donnelly and Sean McCann, TEAM IRELAND!
*Team Ireland approaches underneath the CrapTron and are looking fierce and determined to win their battle in this decisive one-fall contest. The crowd gives them a shillacking of boo’s that infiltrate throughout the EWT arena. They strut a normal walk down the aisle, but the coach signals “GO!” once they hit the entrance of the ring.*
*The referee, in no time signals the timekeeper to ring the bell!*
Bell: DING! DING! DING!
*All four competitors throws rights and rights and rights with each side not getting an advantage. THIS ONE IS GONNA BE A BRAWL, GUYS! After about 10 or so fast-paced rights, dorf & ape love take advantage and Irish Whips the Team Ireland peoples to the ropes and once they flinged back with speed, they each performed a Back Body Drop simultaneously to Team Ireland to cheers!*
*Both members of Team Ireland are up right away and attempt to throw rights simultaneously at dorf & ape love, but they both ducked while Ape Love performs a Double-Arm DDT and Dorf executes the Dorf Bottom. The crowd cheers viciously on both dorf & ape love for their damages to Team Ireland. As a result of the DDTs, Coach Pat O’ Hare yells at Team Ireland to regroup.*
*After about a minute of “refresher” for Team Ireland, Aidan & Sean go underneath the ring apron to unleash two 2 X 4’s as the cheers start to dry out to boo’s, because them nasty Irish guys have weapons…all legal. Aidan and Sean talk a little bit and they start to have their “evil, Irish look” to get by as they scope the ring separating their directions with Aidan staring at Dorf and Sean staring at Ape Love.*
*Ape Love, acting like an idiot or being brave (your opinion) goes right outside the ring and attempts to use psychology to trick out Sean, but Sean would have none of it as he strikes Ape Love with the 2 X 4 and Ape goes down. Sean whacks ape two more times with the 2 X 4, causing bleeding on his forehead and down his right arm. Sean uses his adrenaline and slams the piece of wood when it broke in two after the second hit on Ape Love.*
*Meanwhile, Aidan stares at dorf with the 2 X 4 in hand and attempts to enter the ring, but dorf would try to attack to Aidan. This was attempted twice more, but both times were thwarted by dorf. Dorf then said “screw it” and went outside the ring and immediately grabbed a weapon underneath the apron. When dorf unleashed a weapon from underneath the apron, rubber chicken came upon dorf’s hand. Dorf went “WTF” and on that very split second of disarray, Aidan came out of nowhere and thwacked dorf in the head with the 2 X 4. Aidan goes right for the pin on the floor outside of the ring!*
Referee:
1!
2!
*Dorf kicks out*
*Dorf moves slowly as his forehead has a nice red bump on it, but no blood pouring…unlike ape love. On the other side of the outside of the ring, Ape Love starts to gather himself a bit, although Sean is just waiting for him to stir. The blood pouring from Ape is staggering…forehead is a terrible mess as well as his right arm. Sean McCann goes right back inside the ring and goes up to the top rope and Ape staggers himself up enough time for McCann to fly backwards WITH A MOONSAULT!!*
*Meanwhile on the other side, Aidan makes dorf stand up and goes for an Irish blow to dorf’s head, but dorf ducks, grabs the rubber chicken and hits Aidan Donnelly with it. Donnelly looks at dorf with a “what the hell did you just do?” look as Coach O’Hare sneaks up behind dorf and attempts to blind him, but in the nic of time, dorf throws the rubber chicken back and Coach O’Hare goes down. The resulting sound effect distracts dorf enough to enrage Donnelly off and reacts quickly with a knee strike to his chest. Donnelly drags dorf back into the ring as dorf crawls to the middle of the ring…ALL OF A SUDDEN, SEAN MCCANN SPINGBOARDS OUT OF NOWHERE AND HITS DORF WITH A DOUBLE STOMP!! MCCANN COVERS!*
Referee:
1!
2!
*Dorf barely kicks out!*
*Outside of the ring, ape is being laid out in a bloody mess, but is left alone for now by Team Ireland. Aidan Donnelly is still outside of the ring currently looking for more weapons and does so easily, but not as comedic as what dorf had found. Aidan tosses into the ring three Steel Chairs, drags a ladder to the apron of the ring in front of him, and places some barbed wire into the turnbuckle of one corner into the ring.*
*Sean McCann scratches his head on wondering why dorf kicked out…its more fun for Team Ireland to play. Before he can continue playing dorf, he needed some love with the crowd and does so by yelling some Irish phrase into the crowd. This as a result got very LOUD boo’s. Sean McCann immediately skyruns to the top turnbuckle and Contra Codes his way onto dorf and perfectly executes it, but dorf moves out of the way just in the nic of time.*
*Outside the ring, Ape Love is starting to stir…actually trying to crawl down the outside flooring. He see’s his troubled partner in the ring and looks for something underneath the ring. Meanwhile on the other side, Aidan is done searching for weapons and just saw that dorf had moved out of the way from Sean McCann’s attempted Contra Code. He immediately waltzes his way back into the ring.*
*Aidan enters back into the ring, but dorf gets up right away and Aidan is shocked. He grabs a chair and tries to swing at dorf, but he misses as dorf ducked and sprints to the ropes and hits a Flying Crossbody hurting both himself and Aidan. The referee stands in the ring in utter shock…but he cannot count because this is a hardcore match baby.*
*Ape Love finds a Steel Chair and brings it into the ring. He limps his way in there and is up with a Steel Chair high in the air as the crowd cheers crazily. Coach O’Hare finally got up from the Rubber Chicken incident and tries to go after Ape to save his protégés but Ape Love immediately drops the Steel Chair and takes Coach O’Hare’s hurley and whacks him right onto his forehead. Coach goes down right away and rolls out of the ring.*
*And the crowd goes crazy with cheers….as Sean McCann gets up while ape love picks up the Steel Chair and hits Sean McCann very hard on his ‘noggin with the chair as ape releases a loud grunt to shout out his anger. This anger make the crowd get happies and excitable on their insides. Aidan Donnelly is up next and Ape unleashes another vicious chair shot to Team Ireland and Team Ireland is down. I repeat, Team Ireland down. Mr. Ape slowly with a limp walks over to dorf with a hand in need to assist and dorf takes ape’s hand and they are both up…and it seems like they are shaking hands as dorf smirks a smile and ape love smiles like it was a murderous cheese.*
*All of a sudden…..APE PICKS UP THE STEEL CHAIR AND SMASHES IT AGAINST DORF’S HEAD, BREAKING THE CHAIR INTO TWO! DORF DID NOT GO DOWN, BUT APE HITS THE DOUBLE-ARM DDT TO TAKE HIM DOWN!*
Ape: pyschoapeguy is back….hehehe….heheehe….blood yummy.
*Dorf begins to bleed profusely out of his forehead as ape gets his right hand ready for what appears to be an Eye for an Eye submission. As Ape is about to strike his fingers nearly into dorf’s eye socket, a flower gleams down in front of psychhoapeguy. A tear falls out of his own eye socket as he looks at dorf and grabs a turkey & cheese sandwich from out of his pocket and proclaims…..
*At that very second, Sean McCann gets up and strikes the Steel Chair into psychoapeguy’s back. Ape let’s out a big OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! from that chair shot and the sandwich is dropped into two separate pieces, one side turkey and the other cheese. Another chair shot is taken to ape love’s chest and goes down in heartbeat as Sean McCann goes again for the Contra Code and CONNECTS IT WITH THE STEEL CHAIR ONTO APE LOVE! Sean quickly moves to make a cover...*
1...
2...
KICKOUT!
*Sean is absolutlely aghast! Aidan is getting back to his feet. he gives a few stamps on Dorf's chest before moving on to help Sean deal with Ape Love. Donnelly & McCann Irish Whip Ape into a corner, McCann holds onto Donnelly's arm & Sean gets whipped towards the corner where Ape now stands. Sean hits a running dropkick on Ape, who collapses into the corner. Dorf is finally back up. It seems as though the man from Filthadelphia is ready to beat the crap out of his own partner, but then he remembers why he is here. Sean has a chair in hand & is ready to skateboard it into Ape Love's face. Before he can do so, Dorf stops him with a quick "Flash Back" neckbreaker. Dorf has no time to rest on his laurels, however, as Aidan attacks with a reverse DDT & goes for a cover...*
1...
2...
APE BREAKS IT UP!
*Yes! Ape is back on his feet. The taste of his own blood driving him onwards! He slugs Donnelly & both men start brawling. Ape gets an advantage & picks up the chair Sean McCann was going to use on him. He cracks Donnelly in the head with it & places the chair back on the ground. Donnelly is staggering a bit, Ape kicks him in the nadge bags & Aidan doubles over in pain. Ape grabs Aidan & holds him upside down, clutching him in a Bear Hug. Ape is attempting the "Tree Hugger". He completes the move by Piledriving Donnelly's head onto the chair. Ape goes for a pin...*
1...
2...
COACH O'HARE BREAKS IT UP!!!
*Ape is incensed! Coach O'Hare, having just this moment regained conciousness, slid into Ape's cover & broke the pin up. The Coach is well pleased with himself & starts strutting about the ring a little until Ape, with a wild gleam in his eye, grabs him by the scruff of the neck. Ape drags O'Hare over to the chair he just piledrived Donnelly on & gives Coach O'Hare a Swinging '60s Neckbreaker on the chair! Ape cries out to the audience "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! EAT TUR-KAY!" They respond with huge cheers. Ape removes a slice of turkey from his shorts, wraps it around his fingers & applies the Psychadeliclaw to Coach O'Hare! O'Hare flaps his arms about as Ape keeps the hold on. Both men are down on the mat & it looks like O'Hare is going to pass out! Sean gives Ape a Double Stomp on the back, forcing him to release the hold.*
*Dorf is back to his feet. He takes Sean down with a stiff clothesline. Sean is back up & Dorf hits him with a Gutwrench suplex. Aidan cracks Dorf in the back with his Coach's Tricolour wrapped Hurley! Aidan gloats at this for a moment before Ape hurls him a German Suplex. Ape wraps a chair around Donnelly's throat & climbs to the middle rope. It looks like he's about to leap off in an attempt to crush Aidan's windpipe, but O'Hare stops Ape Love by grabbing onto his leg. Aidan gets up again & together with his Coach they take Ape down from the turnbuckle. The pair Irish Whip Ape & Aidan manages to catch him on the rebound. He nods at O'Hare & the pair successfully complete "No Sleep 'Til Dublin"! The crowd goes insane! Theyt didn't know that O'Hare possessed any wrestling acumen. Aidan covers while the Coach struts around like he's cock-of-the-walk!*
1...
2...
DORF BREAKS THINGS UP!
*Dorf leaps on top of Aidan & forces him to release Ape. Dorf gives Ape a bit of a slap in the face "Don't forget why we're here!", he yells. Ape nods. The team of Turkey & Cheese are finally starting to get their act together. Team Ireland attempt to attack from behind. Sean tries a reverse hurricanrana on Dorf & Aidan goes for a Half Nelson Suplex on Ape. Ape gets thrown, but Dorf reverses Sean's move into an Ocean Cyclone Suplex. Aidan leaps up & drops a knee into Dorf's midesction before the referee can start counting. Ape is back on his feet & he's getting in Aidan's face. Aidan is about to swing for Ape, but Ape puts his hands up, making no resistance. Aidan is confused for a moment. Ape makes the "Peace" sign with his fingers, then uses those fingers to poke Aidan in the eye. While Aidan is temporarily blinded, Ape attempts a quick schoolboy roll-up, grabbing a handful of Aidan's shorts. The ref counts...*
1...
2...
.........
*What happened to 3? Coach O'Hare pulled the referee out of the ring & knocked him out with the Hurley! Now O'Hare is getting a table out from under the ring. He slides it into the ring & sets it up. Ape released his pin once he realized the referee was no longer in the ring & he was once again, ready to punish O'Hare. O'Hare quickly skedaddles out of the ring & Ape fell prey to a brutal chairshot from Aidan. Aidan sets Ape up on the table & orders Sean to get to the top. Sean was tussling with Dorf, Aidan takes Sean's place in that scrap, chop-blocking Dorf from behind. Dorf now lies in pain on the mat as Donnelly continues to work over Dorf's left knee. Sean climbs to the top, but Ape rolls off the table before Sean can make a move. Ape quickly scales the ropes & SUPERPLEXES SEAN MCCANN THROUGH THE TABLE! Ape goes to cover, but that very fragile referee has yet to return to the ring. Ape slaps the mat in frustration. O'Hare slides another table in the ring as Ape Love leaves to revive the referee. Aidan & O'Hare set the table up & Aidan places Dorf on the top rope. O'Hare rouses McCann by squirting a bottle of water in his face. Sean gets up, still a little dazed & goes over to Aidan. Ape sees what their planning & tries to enter the ring. O'Hare cuts Ape off with a Hurley shot. Aidan & Sean continue their ascent to the top & execute the "Flight of the Earls" on Dorf THROUGH THE TABLE! Aidan covers & O'Hare rolls the now concious referee back in.*
1...
2...
KICKOUT!
*Aidan, McCann, O'Hare & the referee are all astonished! Even Dorf himself is surprised! McCann crawls over to where Ape lies & makes a cover on the hippie.*
1...
2...
KICKOUT!
*Team Turkey & Cheese are proving much tougher than the Irishmen anticipated. Aidan gets to his feet & orders Sean to throw Ape his direction. Sean whips Ape towards Aidan. Aidan tells O'Hare to lay a chair down on the ground a few feet in front of him. Aidan then hooks Ape's arms from behind & plants him with a "Guinness Hangover", driving Ape's face RIGHT INTO THE CHAIR! McCann & O'Hare whoop & celebrate; McCann is thinking of getting a whole new case of belt polish already. But Dorf charges Aidan from behind & Spears him in the back before he can make the pin! Sean rushes into take Aidan's place & covers Ape. But Dorf rushes back & Baseball slides right into Sean's side! Dorf the roughly throws O'Hare outside & tries to revive Ape.*
*Sean returns with a steel chair. He waffles Dorf in the face with the chair then set's it on Ape's chest. Sean climbs to the top & jumps off with a Double Stomp right onto Ape's chest ON THE CHAIR! Ape is coughing up blood! Sean covers...*
1...
2...
KICKOUT!
*Ape looks deranged. He grabs Sean by the throat & starts to choke him. Ape grabs a broken piece of table & tries to slice Sean's throat open with it. Aidan is back up, nursing his back. He drags Ape of Sean & hits him with the "Triqueta". Ape lies on the mat, nursing his head, but Aidan turns right around into Dorf. Dorf kicks Aidan's midsection & hooks both his arms. He's about to go for the "Dorf-O-Matic", but the referee starts waving his arms, reminding Dorf that the move is banned! Dorf changes his hold on Aidan & hits the "Aurora Bourealis". Dorf makes the cover on Donnelly...*
1...
2...
KICKOUT!
*Where on Earth are these men getting the energy from? Dorf can't believe it. He pounds the mat in frustration & complains to the referee. Sean meanwhile, is doing his best to escape from the crazed Ape. He runs outside the ring & Ape follows. O'Hare tries to crack Ape with his Hurley again, but Ape just plows right on over the Coach. Sean runs into the ring, not even aware that Dorf is just in front of him. Dorf gives Sean a Back Body Drop. Ape runs up after & catches Sean with an RKO just as he comes crashing down. Dorf & Ape just hit the "3-DORF"! Dorf rolls over & makes the cover on Sean...*
1...
2...
THREE!
Finkel: Here are your winners and NNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEWWWW EWT WORLD TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS, APE LOVE AND DORF!!!!
*O'Hare is on the outside, he can't believe what he's hearing! He runs over to the broadcast table & tries to take the belts, but the referee rather forcefully takes them off his hands! O'Hare is practically crying! He just can't believe it. The referee hands the belts over to Dorf & Ape. Dorf starts celebrating, climbing to the turnbuckle & showing off his new possession to the fans. Then he turns around & looks in the ring... He realizes who his partner is. Ape Love gives Dorf a hug, which makes Dorf a little bit uncomfortable. A distraught Team Ireland leave the ring & walk to the back consoling eachother as Ape Love celebrates & Dorf wonders exactly wht he's got himself into.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Mar 25, 2007 22:19:39 GMT -5
LILLIAN: And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the 2007...EWT HARLOT HUNT!
*As the fans cheer, "Violence Fetish" by Disturbed plays on the PA system, and the fans get on their feet and applaud as Joe Ragnal, wearing his infamous green trenchcoat, runs around the stage.*
LILLIAN: Here is your host...He is a former EWT Toolshed Champion, A former two time EWT Tag Team Champion, and the creator of the FUN House...the Innovator of FUN...JOE! RAAAAGNAAAAL!
*As Lillian announces all that, Joe runs down the ramp and slides into the ring, holding his arms up high to absorb this return. As Lillian hands him the mic, the cheers die down, only to be replaced with that so well known "WELCOME BACK!" chant.*
JOE: Wow...it's great top be back in EWT, ladies and gentlemen!
*The crowd cheers more loudly*
JOE: Now, while this whole Harlot Hunt might be my last appearance, I know some of you are wondering, "But Joe, why are you hosting things, huh?! Why not get someone better?!
Well, really, who else is there gonna be? I mean, you've got Mike Mizanin, who just reads every last...*Lifts up his hand and squints into the palm*...thing off of his black inked..." Does this say hands? Anyone?
*The crowd laughs a little, and Joe just smiles.*
JOE: Kidding, kidding. And of course, Curly Long is prolly dead by this point, what with how he faired in that Elimination Chamber. Yeah, I think all the cartillage is destroyed at this point.
And really...Who else in this entire promotion knows how to be as FUN as I am, huh?!
*The crowd applauds this, some even going so far to chant "JOE! JOE! JOE! JOE!"*
JOE: So while I was working in my deli, EWT phoned me up, told me they needed someone with charisma, and here I am!
But that's enough about me, huh? Let's get this started by explaining how it works.
First, the girls introduce themselves. Then, later on, you the perverted viewing audience decides which woman goes the way of the Dodo, never to be seen again.
This keeps going on until we come down to two girls, and whoever's voted the winner of that final ballot will recieve a ONE YEAR EWT contract!
*mild applause*
JOE: Yeah, and some money. Which is all they care about.
Get it? Got it? Good.
NOW, let's introduce these ladies, eh?!
*The crowd gets to their feet and cheers.*
JOE: Alright, let's meet...contestant Number ONE!
*As everyone turns their attention to the Toomitron, church organ music plays, sounding like it's trying to be Asian in music. Out walks an Asian woman, wearing a skimpy black dress, high heels...and those veil things that Christian sisters wear. In her hand, she carries nunchucks. As she gets in the ring, Joe offers her a handshake.*
JOE: Alright, so where are you from?
*The contestant tries to speak with a broken English accent.*
#1: I from Tokyo. I move to...America...when I was young girl. I was once...Bhuddist...but soon became a born again...Christian. I also learn...how to fight...with Japanese weapons.
JOE: Interesting, kay...Aaaaand you name?
#1: I am...Nun...Chukku.
*The audience just groans, and Joe plants his face into his open palm, speaking into the mic.*
JOE: Wow...two minutes into this, and already I wanna shoot myself. How about we just move you over to that side as we introduce...Contestant Number TWOOOOO!
*Nun Chukku steps to the far end of the ring, as "Joy to the World" by Three Dog Night plays, and out walks an attractive brunette, carrying with her what looks to be an amphibian of some sort. The girl rests it on the apron as she steps into the ring, and then picks the frog back up, petting it.*
JOE: Well now, this is new. Is that your good luck charm right there?
#2: Oh, yes, he really is.
JOE: So, your pet have a name?
*The brunette pauses, and stares at Joe like he has three heads.*
#2: "Pet"? "PET"?! This is my boyfriend, Dwayne, you sicko!
*Joe just backs away, a little confused.*
JOE: Whoa, whoa! "Boyfriend"? I'm pretty sure beastiality's been outlawed there, sugar! But...then again...actually, no, I'm pretty sure "amphibiality" is the same thing. So um...boyfriend?
#2: Yes! My mom always told me that I'd always find my frog prince, and this is him.
JOE: Wow...I thought someone of your age would know better...but let's get to the point. Name?
#2: Anne Phibian!
*More groaning*
JOE:For the luva... Is this what Pain had to deal with during Two Tough? Bad names and people just picked up outside the street?
ANNE: Actually, they found me in the pet store picking Dwayne something nice for bed.
JOE: *face in palms, not looking at Anne* I don't wanna know.
ANNE: Well, if you have a problem with people from the streets, you might not like contestant number three.
*Joe picks his head up and looks at Anne with a pissed look.*
JOE: Why? Who's contestant number three?
*Suddenly, "Bathwater" by No Doubt plays, and out walks an old hag, wearing raggy clothes and soot on her face. She climbs into the ring, and Joe just looks at her in disgust.*
JOE: Holy...god, all the fun went out of this. Well, anyway, what's your-WHOA!
*As Joe tries to take a step towards the hag, he stumbles back and covers his face.*
JOE: Oh my GOD, what the hell is that STENCH?!
#3: I haven't bathed since the eighties!
JOE: Ugh, ew, man! What the hell?!
#3: I'm Anita Bath!
JOE: NAAAAAAW, YA THINK?! WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CLUE! Please...dear god...go far, FAR away!
*Anita just shrugs and heads out of the ring, sitting next to Tony Chimel, who also more than likely hasn't bathed in ages.*
JOE: The sad thing is, she makes these two tolerable in comparison.
ANNE: What was that?
JOE: Nothing, just go back to speaking sweet nothings to your "beau". Let's try to keep this rolling with contestant number four, eh?
*"Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous" by Papa Roach plays as a blonde haired woman with a face that makes her look vaguely like a horse, wearing a pink plaided skirt, and a black half-cut top that reads "Poseur". She rolls into the ring, and raises her arm up, oddly similarly to a former Diva Search winner.*
JOE: You gotta be kidding me.
#4: What?
JOE: You're copying off of someone who already won a contest like this. You hon estly think you're gonna win?!
#4: Of course I will! I'm "Punk" Kim Tended.
*Joe just looks at her with a weird look, walks away for a second, and then back.*
JOE: Okay, first of all, you did that to make some obvious pun. Second of all, you are NOT punk! I know people who are punk, and even THEY don't do their shopping at the local Hot Topic!
#4: But I AM punk! See? My shirt says "Poseur".
JOE: Um, yeah. Say, Horse Lips Houlihan, do you even know what poseur MEANS?
KIM: Sure! It means I'm going to make some great big model one day!
*Joe, with no way of thinking ANYONE can be this stupid, just continues on.*
JOE: Contestant number five, will you PLEASE come out? And PLEASE be moderately sane?!
*"Doncha" by the vaginacat Dolls plays over the PA as a woman with much lighter and brighter blonde hair and too much eyeliner on her face, wearing a toga. She climbs into the ring, and smiles widely for the crowd. You can practically hear the audience claiming to be blind, her teeth are so shiny.*
JOE: Okay, well, this is interesting. And what's your name there?
#5: Me? My name is Pisa Pisa.
JOE: ...okay...Weird double name there. But then again, it sounds like Little Caesar's. Y'know, where the little cartoon's like "Pizza pizza!"
PISA: Yup. And I...am an exhibitionist!
*Pisa slowly removes her toga sleeve, and soon the young teenage audience starts to yell for more. Pisa lowers her top off of her breasts to reveal...PEPPERONI COVERING HER BREASTS?!
JOE: Okay, whoa! Hold up, HOLD UP! Cover yourself back up, please!
*Pisa does so.*
JOE: Pepperoni? I don't mind a pasty, but PEPPERONI?!
PISA: Well, yeah. It's a pizza topping. And I love pizza.
JOE: Um, yeah. So do the Italians. And the rest of the world, for that matter.
PISA: No, no. I mean...I REALLY love pizza!
*Joe, his jaw dropped, just takes two steps back, and shakes his head in shame.*
JOE: I take it back. Miz has it easier. Look, we have one more contestant to announce, so how about we get her out here, huh?
*Lillian taps Joe's shoulder, and she hands him a notecard.*
JOE: What the-? Oh, how about that. Apparently since the last contestant was in last year's competition, she needs to be treated royally. No big deal, though. I mean, it's prolly that violin playing chick. Or the girl that was a-throbbing for Mr. Big. But let's see, shall we?
*Joe clears his throat, and reads off the card.*
JOE: Okay. "Former Harlot Hunt contestant, has a love for all things fluffy and cute and..."
*Joe's expression grows a little worried.*
JOE: It can't be. "She's a cheerleader, has rich parents, and his...FIFTEEN"?! Awwwww, NO!
*Sure enough, "He Loves You Not" by Dream plays, and out comes everyone's favorite jailbait, Flora. Flora climbs into the ring and tackles down Joe, hugging him as he tries to escape like his life depends on it.*
JOE: AACK! Get off, get off!
*Security gaurds climb into the ring and hold Flora back as Joe gets to his feet.*
JOE: Good god, I thought you got caught in the fire from the Chuck E. Cheese match! What the hell?!
FLORA: I love you, Joe!
*Joe climbs out of the ring, trying to get as far away from the Harlots as possible, but then covers up his nose, remembering Anita's outside. Joe just tells her to get back into the ring, and she does so.*
JOE: Alright, there you go, folks. Your 2007 Harlot Hunt contestants. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go find a way out of my contract.
*The girls in the ring just look around, and for no reason, begin to dance, while security continues to keep Flora from getting at Joe.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Mar 25, 2007 22:20:13 GMT -5
The lights dim a little as some light percussion plays. With the word ‘Shout’, two blue explosions form a ‘V’ shape on top of the ToomiTron.
Announcer: The following tag-team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, representing the Ministry of Peace, weighing in at 453 lbs., Jack Jupiter, and Joe One!
They crowd gives their negative feelings towards the duo. One is carrying the Ingsoc flag to the ring with his usual neutral demeanor, as Jupiter looks a bit worried walking to the ring. Once in the ring, Joe waves the flag while Jack thinks of some pose to hit. However, he runs out of time, as ‘Believe Me’ plays over the PA, to the audience’s delight.
Announcer: And their opponents, weighing in at 475 lbs., Chad Michaels and Mike Corral, Rated X!
Chad and Mike give high fives to the crowd as they walk down to the ring. After removing any and all extra gear, the referee checks all four men. After they turn up okay, he calls for the bell.
*ding ding ding*
Jack Jupiter and Mike Corral start. Jupiter pleads with One for him to start, but One refuses. With the open opportunity, Corral lands a dropkick onto Jupiter’s back. Jupiter slouches onto the ring post where One is located, but One refuses to tag in. In fact, he jumps off the turnbuckle area to the floor, to the questioning comments of the audience. Corral turns Jupiter around and land 4 chops to the stomach of Jupiter. As Jupiter staggers to the middle of the ring, One hops back up to the turnbuckle. He doesn’t hop, really; he steps up. Either way, Corral gives a kick to the back, setting up an inverted DDT. Corral makes the cover.
1!
2!
Kickout by Jupiter. Corral picks up Jupiter and hits a sidewalk slam. He walks over and tags in Chad. Chad goes over and kicks Jupiter in the back. Jupiter crawls over in an attempt to tag in One, but, once again, One drops back. Michaels walks over to Jupiter, but Jack slaps him in the face before Michaels can attempt anything. Jupiter goes to the top of the turnbuckle and lands a crossbody on Michaels. Jupiter gets back up and goes to the top turnbuckle again. As soon as Michaels can stand up, he lands a top-rope clothesline.
As Jupiter sees Michaels on the floor, his face is lightened up as to see his lead in the match. He pumps his arms up, only to be given a hot tag by Joe One. Jack looks a bit disappointed from the turn of events, but goes out of the ring with no words with One.
One gets his knee on Michaels’ back and pulls back on his head. Michaels shouts in agony as a ‘Michaels’ chant breaks out. One looks at the audience, but makes no change in face and says nothing. Eventually, Michaels grabs a rope, forcing One to break up the hold. One steps on the ropes to jump to Michaels’ shoulders, twisting him into a Poison Rana. One goes for the cover.
1!
2!
Kickout by Michaels. One folds his arms as Michaels comes to his feet. With Michaels back on his feet, One throws him into the turnbuckle with Jack Jupiter. One tags in Jupiter. One brings Michaels on his shoulders, with Jupiter getting on the top turnbuckle. Jupiter picks up Michaels as One gets out of the ring. With Michaels grappled by Jupiter, Jack hits a Nebula Buster from the top turnbuckle! Jupiter goes for the cover.
1!
2!
Kickout by Michaels to the roar of the crowd. Jupiter is shocked. He gets down on his knees and pulls his hair, frustrated as to what has transpired. Jupiter runs to the ring ropes to try and land and elbow drop, but Michaels rolls underneath him. As Jupiter holds his elbow in pain, Chad hits a Lariat from Heaven. With Jupiter down, Michaels goes and tags in Mike Corral as the audience roars.
Mike runs in full force and hits a corckscrew dropkick, sending One down to the mat. As Jack gets up, Mike takes him down with a quick Enzuigiri that sends him down to the mat. Mike doesn't waste time and hits a quick Red Star Press and maintains the cover for the pin...
1...
2...
3...Kick out by Jack. Mike gets up and hoists Jack to a vertical base before setting him up for the Kryptonite Krunch. As Mike goes to nail the move, One comes out of nowhere and hits a clothesline, knocking Mike down and allowing Jack to get a roll-up...
1...
2...
3...Michaels with the save. Jack gets up and tries to hit Michaels with a running Cuttter, but Michaels manages to hold on and hits a modifed Tazz-Plex. Michaels holds on to the bridge as Mike hits a Ghetto Stomp to the gut of Jupiter. Jupiter rolls out of the ring as Mike turns his head to get met with a devastating boot to the side of the face, courtesy of One. Mike goes down and rolls to the outside as well. One turns his attention to Michaels, who barely starts to get up. One tries to hit an Airtrip Kiss, but Michaels ducks his head and wraps his arms around the gut of One before hitting a reverse Yosuka Cutter. One is down as Michaels signals to the ropes, motioning for the end. Michaels climbs to the top and makes an X with his hands before leaping off, completing the Suspended Belief. Michaels tries to go for the pin, but the ref informs him that One is not the legal man. Almost a second later, Jack comes up from behind and hits a quick Cyclone Driver, causing Michaels' head to bounce of the mat. Jupiter rolls Michaels over for the pin, but AGAIN the ref informs that Michaels isn't the legal man. In a moment that can be best described as Deja Vu, Mike comes up from behind Jupiter and grabs him by the arms before hitting the Colt 45 and 2 Zig-Zag. Mike rolls Jack over for the pin, and THIS time the ref coutns the pin...
1...
2...
3....!!
Announcer: Here are your winners, Rated X!!!
Mike gets up celebrating the victory as One just pounds the mat in frustration. Mike helps Chad up as the two celebrate their win, but it's short lived as Joe and Jack attack both men. Joe and Jack continue the assault, even going so far as to choke Mike with the Ingsoc Flag. Jack locks in an Indian Deathlock as One grabs the microphone....
One: I hereby dispute the refferee's call that Rated X won the match!
The audience murmers at this strange statement. The refferee talks with Joe, but One has none of it.
One: Replay the footage!
The ToomiTron starts the footage. Michaels climbs to the top and makes an X with his hands before leaping off, completing the Suspended Belief. Michaels tries to go for the pin, but the ref informs him that One is not the legal man. Almost a second later, Jack comes up from behind and hits a quick Cyclone Driver, causing Michaels' head to bounce of the mat. Jupiter rolls Michaels over for the pin, but AGAIN the ref informs that Michaels isn't the legal man. In a moment that can be best described as Deja Vu, Mike comes up from behind Jupiter and grabs him by the arms but Jupiter powers out and hits ANOTHER Cyclone Driver. Jack covers Corral, and THIS time, the ref makes the count.
1...
2...
3....!!
Announcer: Here are your winners, Rated X!!!
The footage ends. The crowd, Rated X, and even Jack Jupiter are in shock. Joe One, however, shows no signs of shock.
One: So, refferee, please change your result.
The refferee, still confused, raises Joe and Jack's hands. But before too long, Mike and Chad attack them, starting to beat them down. Almost immediatly, TJT run down to give Minipax the advantage. However, Tenacious J&A come out to even the score. After a few seconds of brawling, Christopher Indigo comes out.
Indigo: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!!!
Suprisingly, everyone stops. J & A stop in the middle of a double clothesline on TJT, Chad stops in mid-superkick to One, and Mike stops in mid-punch while holding on to Jack's hair. Mike delivers a quick punch before completely stopping.
Indigo: Mike, I'm suprised at you. While you're on the road, doing whatever the hell it is that yo and Chad do, you forgot one important thing: YOUR WIFE!
Out comes Terina, holding a rope in her hands. After taking a few steps, it's apparent that the rope she's holding onto is tied to Jessica, or rather her hands, which are bound. Indigo and Terina drag Jessica into the ring, taking some care of her because she's pregnant and all.
Indigo: Back the hell up, or Terina will show you why she's the most dominant female in the EWT.
Jobby, Axel, Chad, and Mike all comply, allowing Minipax to strike. TJT sucker punch J & A, knocking them dowin with punches and kicks before sending them to the outside. One does something similar, forcing Chad to the ropes and savagely attacking him with shots to the gut before clotheslining him to the outside as well. Mike seems to be the only one still standing, dodging a punch attempt and instead switches it into a release German Suplex. Mike makes a mad dash for Indigo, but One hits him with the POOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUNCEEEEEE-uh!!!, knocking him off course. By this time, TJT have grabbed chairs and are fending off Jobby, Axel, and Chad while One holds Mike down, who's still trying to get to Indigo. Indigo just kicks Mike in the face, causing Mike to back off. Indigo delivers a quick Red Star Press, knocking the wind out of Mike but not knocking him out. Indigo stays on top of him, making sure he doesn't interfere. By this time, One has turned his attention to Jessica, who is cowering in fear. One grabs Jessica by the hair and slaps her right acros the face, causing the fans to boo. One keeps hold of the hair and wraps his arms around Jessica's midsection before delivering a Belly to Belly Suplex, knocking her to the ground. One looks down before patting his elbow and climbs to the top. Chad, Jobby, and Axel all try to slide in, but TJT keep them at bay with the chairs. Jack joins in on keeping the non-Minipax members on the outside as One ascends the turnbuckles. Indigo can be heard yelling "What are you doing?" and even Terina seems unsure of what to do. One pats his elbow once again as Mike screams, knowing what;s going to happen.... One jumps off and delivers an elbow right to Mike and Jessica's unborn baby, causing a hush to fall over the crowd. The only sounds heard are the screams of Mike and the cries of Jessica as the whole arena has gone silent. Indigo and TJT's faces show they had no idea of this, and Chad, Jobby, and Axel can be seen staring in shock. One slides out of the ring, followed by TJT and Jack. Indigo is the last one to leave, looking at Mike who rushes to Jessica's aid. Indigo can be seen mouthing the words "I didn't know" as Chad and the WP rush into the ring to join Mike, who's tending to Jessica. Road agents and other wrestlers rush into the ring to help Jessica, notably Andy Duke, Ultimo Dragon, Aidan Donnely of Team Ireland, and Cassinova. Kayfabe is completely thrown out the window here as the EMT's come to the ring, loading Jessica onto the stretcher. Mike accompanies the EMT's as Jessica continues crying, holding onto her unborn child..
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Mar 25, 2007 22:24:10 GMT -5
Following all of this, and after everyone has cleared out and headed to the back, the camera scans the entire arena. It shows JBL and Sum Guy sitting at the announcer's booth, the rowdy fans who have enjoyed the show so far, and finally the ring announcer standing in the middle of the ring, ready to announce this match. The announcer lifts the microphone to his lips to announce the competitors.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen... this next Falls Count Anywhere bout is scheduled for one fall, and is for the EWT Ox-Division Championship!
The fans pop at this, as they've been eargerly awaiting this one. The announcer prepares to introduce the competitors, but stops when he begins picking up messages in his earpiece. He holds his ear as he listens, before lifting the mic back to his lips.
Announcer: EWT fans in attendance... I've just received word that the two competitors in this match, EWT Ox-Division Champion Crauswell and #1 Contender Cassinova, have already started the match backstage! Will our camera technicians in the back please give us a feed of the match?
With that, the tron illuminates with live video of Crauswell mounting Cassinova and pounding him in the face. They are in a corridor somewhere backstage, right next to Cassinova's lockerroom. Crauswell gets off of Cass and lifts him to his feet, grabbing him by the throat and literally throwing him through his wooden lockerroom door!
SG: Oh my goodness!
Cassinova crashes through the door and lands hard on the floor. He rolls around, groaning and writhing in pain, while Crauswell just stands over him. Crauswell is wearing his coveted suit that he recently regained from Cassinova's possession, and seems to be absolutely pissed that Cassinova is the one who stole it in the first place. After staring at him for a while and breathing heavily, he begins to scream at Cass.
Crauswell: How do YOU like being jumped from behind?! Doesn't feel too good, does it?!
At the words "does it", he kicks Cassinova in the side. Cassinova rolls away from him and attempts to pull himself to his feet using a bench, but Crauswell just stomps him in the head. Craus then lifts Cass to his feet and puts him in a fireman's carry position. From there, he walks over to the threshold where the door used to be and walks back into the corridor, before dropping Cassinova with a Death Valley Driver right on the hard hallway floor! A referee then comes running around the corner so that the match can be officiated, and Crauswell simply drags Cassinova right by the referee into a different corridor. He picks up Cassinova and Irish whips him down the hallway. Cassinova manages to stop himself by grabbing a door-handle, but trips and falls to the ground. Crauswell stalks him slowly, and Cass backs away from him on the ground. Eventually, Crauswell catches up and grabs Cassinova by the hair, picking him up. As he is being lifted, Cass kicks Craus in the stomach and DDTs his head to the floor!
JBL: Finally! Some offense by Cass!
SG: Yes, but he's already suffered a lot of damage, even though we're still really early into the match!
Cass gets up holding the back of his neck in pain, and stumbles down the corridor. It appears is if he's searching for a weapon of some sort, but can't find anything on the ground. He finally sees a fire extinguisher behind a pane of glass, but can't find a way to get to it without breaking the glass first. He ponders punching it, but it suddenly dawns on him that he can use his boot, so he kicks the glass pane out of the way. Following this, he gets the fire extinguisher out and walks towards Crauswell with it. Craus is starting to rise, and Cassinova immediately charges him with the extinguisher. Crauswell ducks out of instinct, and Cassinova misses completely. Crauswell turns around, only for Cass to take another swing and nail Crauswell in the stomach! Crauswell bends over and Cassinova swings once more, hitting him in the back! Crauswell falls to the ground, arching his back in pain as Cassinova just tosses the extinguisher to the side. Cassinova moves some hair from his eyes before covering Crauswell...
1...
2..
Crauswell kicks out after two. Cassinova gets up and kicks Crauswell in the side, causing him to roll over and hold his ribs. Cass allows Crauswell to get to his feet, which is a mistake on his part. As soon as Crauswell gets up, he decks Cassinova in the face, sending him to the floor! Cassinova falls and lays next to a door--a door that Crauswell opens and steps inside. Crauswell acts as if the match isn't even going on, as he walks around what seems to be a bathroom. After a few seconds, he shuts the door (leaving Cass, the referee, and the cameraman outside), and a while later the sounds of him using the bathroom is heard.
SG: Is Crauswell taking a pissbreak?
JBL: Now that's just disrespectful...
Cassinova slowly makes it to his feet as Crauswell flushes the toilet, and when Crauswell opens the door Cassinova charges him! Cass tackles him to the ground and bangs his head on the floor a few times, before picking him back up and throwing him into the mirror! The glass shatters, and Crauswell falls to the floor in a heap.
SG: I bet if it wasn't for that suit, Crauswell would be pretty cut up right now.
JBL: Gee, did you figure that out on your own? Man, I knew this wouldn't be a wrestling match. These two absolutely hate eachother's guts. This is a drag-out fight!
Cassinova picks Crauswell up and knees him in the groin, before ripping the mask off of his head and throwing it to the side! Cassinova then slaps Crauswell in the face before grabbing his head and shoving it into the toilet!
SG: Gross... I bet Crauswell's glad he flushed.
Crauswell fights, but Cassinova manages to place his foot on the back of Crauswell's head and keep his head down there. He then proceeds to flush the toilet, effectively giving Crauswell a swirly! After the toilet finishes flushing, Cassinova picks the now gasping Crauswell out of the toilet and puts his mask back on. He then throws him back into the corridor, right into a wall! Cass flips Crauswell off and charges him, only for Craus to move out of the way and Cass to hit the wall hard. Craus takes advantage by grabbing Cass by the hair and dragging him down the corridor, kicking open some large doors and throwing Cassinova into the parking lot!
SG: This fight has spilled outside!
Cassinova rolls on the cold ground and attempts to stand, before Crauswell kicks him in the stomach. The kick sends Cass rolling further down the lot, and Crauswell chases him down before lifting him to his feet.They are near the parking garage entrance now, and Crauswell kicks Cass in the groin before lifting him for a powerbomb! Crauswell holds Cass in this position and walks with him. He walks out of the parking garage and next to the open street, heading for a nearby plaza! He gets halfway there, before Cassinova quickly reverses the move into a hurricanrana! Cassinova holds Crauswell's legs and attempts to get a quick pin!
1...
2...
Crauswell kicks out. They both rise at the same time, and are now fighting in the middle of the street. People have gathered around and are watching, and cars attempt to drive around them whilst honking their horns in anger. Crauswell and Cassinova trade hard punches, eventually crossing the street and heading towards the plaza.
JBL: They're taking the fight to the people! Haha... I love this.
Crauswell and Cassinova are now trading blows outside of a local Supercuts, and everyone inside is watching the fight anxiously. One of the kids in there is apparently an EWT fan, and is overjoyed that this PPV match that he otherwise would have missed is happening right in front of him. Cassinova gets the best of the brawl, and nails punch after punch to Crauswell's face. Eventually, he knees him in the stomach and grabs his head, signally for the end!
JBL: Here it comes!
Crauswell fights out of the move with punches to Cassinova's ribs, before lifting Cassinova up in a gorilla press position! He holds Cassinova up for a long time, before turning towards Supercuts and throwing Cass through the glass like a dart!
SG: Oh my god!
JBL: Sweet mother of...
Cassinova flies through the window, and Crauswell climbs in after him. The people in the shop seem genuinely afraid, and Crauswell picks up Cassinova and puts him in a barber chair. Following this, he looks at the barber menacingly, and growls before barking some orders at him.
Crauswell: You! Hippie! Cut off his hair!
Barber: What? No?
Crauswell (whispering): ...I've got cash...
Barber: Seriously?
Crauswell: Hell no!
Crauswell then decks the barber in the face, and a different barber yells for him to get the hell out before he calls the police. Crauswell complies. He grabs Cassinova (who is now bleeding all over his body and has glass sticking out from himself) by the throat and throws him through the hole where the window used to be, and simply walks out the front door. He picks Cassinova up and scoops him into a fallaway slam position, before carrying him further down the sidewalk. They now have a crowd following behind them at a distance, and Crauswell approaches a Subway restaurant with Cassinova. Crauswell simply shrugs and yells for someone to open the door. A young girl rushes over and does so, and Crauswell carries Cass inside. Once they get inside, Crauswell turns his back to an open area and tosses Cass with a fallaway slam! Cass lands hard on the floor as the employees watch in horror.
JBL: That move looks familiar...
The referee rushes inside the restaurant as Crauswell approaches the counter. A particularly young looking food preparer stares up at Crauswell with a look of pure fear, and Crauswell stares right back with a deep coldness. A few tense seconds pass, before...
Crauswell: ...Yeah, can I get a 12" Philly Cheese Steak on Italian Cheddar bread with jalapenos, dijon mustard, and onions please?
Suddenly Cassinova runs up behind Crauswell and smashes a plastic tray over his head. Crauswell crumbles to the ground, and Cass looks at the food preparer.
Cassinova: Make that two. Just hold the onions and toast mine.
The food preparer nods and begins making the sandwiches as Cassinova stomps on Crauswell. Cass painfully removes the broken shards of glass from his body, and picks Crauswell to his feet. Crauswell attempts a surprise punch to the face, but Cassinova ducks behind him. Cass spins Crauswell around and kicks him in the stomach before putting him in a standing headscissors. Cassinova then hooks the arms and lifts him before jumping and driving his head into the ground with the Novacaine II!
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Mar 25, 2007 22:24:45 GMT -5
SG: There's one of the Novacaine II variants!
JBL: So we are going to get some wrestling after all in this match!
Cassinova lets Crauswell lay there as he collects the food. He looks at both sandwiches and figures out which one is Crauswell's, before spitting in it, lifting Craus's mask, and shoving the sandwich inside of it! Cassinova then casually sits at a table and begins to eat his sub. Meanwhile, Craus manages to get the sandwich out of his mask and rolls around on the floor in pain. Cass eats about half his sandwich while the crowd outside chants his name. He then walks over to the door, rips off the part of the sandwich he's bitten off of, and gives the rest to some little kid. Just as the kid walks away with the sub, Crauswell charges Cassinova from behind and spears him in the back! Crauswell picks Cassinova up and throws him into the brick wall of the plaza. Crauswell follows this up by dragging Cassinova all the way down the sidewalk to the center of the plaza. From here, he picks Cass up and brings him into what is obviously the building that the plaza was built around: A local Publix. They get inside of the grocery store, and immediately everyone turns to look at them. Cass begins to fight back with punches to the face, and knees Crauswell in the groin. After this, Cassinova climbs a nearby stack of Pepsi boxes, leaping off and nailing a diving DDT! The ref runs in as Cassinova covers...
1...
2...
Crauswell kicks out. Crauswell's mask by now is damaged, with the beak partially off and a lot of it ripped. Cassinova grabs Crauswell and throws him on the conveyor belt, dragging it and knocking a customer's items off in the process. He then picks Crauswell up and takes him into the alcohol isle, taking his head and ramming it some wine bottles in an open freezer. Cass then takes Crauswell's mask off once more, grabbing a bottle of Grey Goose and opening it. Cass takes a large swig of it and swishes it around in his mouth for a while before spitting it into Craus's face!
Cassinova: Who am I kidding? I don't drink!
Cass then smashes the bottle of expensive vodka over Craus's head, and pushes him to the ground. Cass then puts Craus's mask back on him, only backwards, before opening some more bottles of alcohol and pouring them on him. Crauswell crawls away from Cass and adjusts his mask, and Cass allows him to stand up. After he does, Cass grabs him from behind and attempts a German suplex! Crauswell fights it and reverses out of it, shortly before throwing Cassinova into one of the shelves! The entire shelf falls over, creating a domino effect to the rest of the shelves next to it. Without a second thought, Crauswell grabs Cass and drags him out of the store, back outside. He throws him into the parking lot, and follows him with stomps and kicks. Cassinova rolls all the way to an orange Hummer H2, and uses the door handle to pick himself up. Crauswell waits for him to get up before lifting him in a gorilla press slam and throwing him on top of the Hummer. He climbs up after him and lifts him to his feet, calling for the end. He then grabs Cass by the throat and lifts him into a powerbomb, trying to hit the Beak Buster! Cass miraculously rolls out of it backwards, and kicks Craus in the stomach. He then lifts Craus into a powerbomb with his back facing the windshield, and drives Crauswell's head into it with an especially vicious Splitting Headache!
JBL: God!
SG: I can't watch any longer!
Crauswell's body simply slumps to the ground, off of the cracked windshield. A man can faintly be heard yelling "Oh my god! That's my car!" in the background as Cassinova weakly attempts to pin Crauswell...
1...
2...
Crauswell kicks out just before three. Cassinova has pretty much given it all he has by now, and rolls off of Crauswell. Cass slowly makes it to his feet and walks away from Crauswell, heading back towards the EWT Arena. He stumbles, holding his ribs, and gets to the edge of the road before Crauswell comes out of nowhere with a running lariat from behind! Cassinova drops like a ton of bricks, and Crauswell goes for the cover, nodding his head with each count...
1...
2...
Cassinova kicks out, but uses much energy doing so. Crauswell lifts him to his feet and throws Cassinova into the street, where a large Astrovan comes to a screeching halt just before hitting him. The van honks his horn, but Crauswell ignores it and climbs up to the hood of the car. From there, he climbs to the roof and sizes Cassinova up on the road below.
SG: Oh god... don't do this!
Crauswell takes a deep breath before leaping off of the van and Taking Flight! He descends quicky, and Cassinova barely has enough time to roll out of the way, causing Crauswell to crash to the ground! Cassinova limply drapes an arm over Crauswell for the pin...
1...
2...
Crauswell lets out a scream of agony as he gets his shoulder up. Cassinova slowly gets up, and pulls Crauswell up with him. Cass throws a hard punch at Crauswell, who takes it and throws one back. Cassinova is hit, and throws yet another punch. This trend goes on for a while, but eventually Crauswell gets the best of it. Crauswell throws a slow hard right, followed by another one. Cassinova lets out a pained, "Oh god..." right before he is belted with a third blow to the head. Cassinova is now very groggy, and Crauswell puts Cass onto his shoulder. In this position, he lets out a battle cry and runs into the parking garage before dropping Cass on the concrete with a running powerslam!
JBL: I think Cassinova's spine has just been split!
Cassinova is now all but unconscious, and Crauswell drags him limp body towards a door leading into the backstage area.
After the break, we find Crauswell and Cassinova trading punches in the corridor that this match started in, right next to Cassinova's broken lockerrom door. Cass grabs Crauswell's head and rams it into a wall, before jumping on his back and delivering a lungblower! He hurts himself in the process, and is in no condition to make the cover. After a while of just laying there, Cassinova crawls into his lockerroom and looks around for something. Eventually he finds a chair and uses it to help himself up, before folding it and taking it back into the corridor. He sees Crauswell laying on the ground, and sizes him up with the chair. After a while of waiting, Crauswell makes it to his feet with his back to Cassinova...
SG: This won't be pretty.
JBL: This is going to be sweet...
Crauswell eventually shakes off the cobbwebs and turns to Cassinova, only to see a chair flying towards his face! Crauswell ducks and waits for Cass to spin back around before booting the chair directly into his skull! Cassinova falls and begins to bleed out of his forehead. Crauswell just grabs his arm and drags him down the hallway. After a while of dragging, they reach a large black curtain, and the fans can be heard much clearer now...
Crauswell pulls Cassinova through the curtain, and it's made apparent that they are now on the stage. This is the first time in the match that the fans don't have to look at the tron to watch the fight, and they are very relieved. Crauswell brings Cass to the edge of the stage and attempts to pick him up, only to receive a swift kick in the balls for his troubles. Crauswell groans and holds his junk, as Cassinova walks to the edge of the stage and climbs a ladder down to the lower levels. Crauswell soon follows, and Cassinova waits for him. When Crauswell gets down there, they begin trading punches once more. The crowd is strangely really behind Cassinova now, but Cass is too busy to notice. Cassinova knees Crauswell in the stomach, and drags him over to the pyro table. The pyrotechnician moves out of the way as Cass begins to slam Craus's head into the buttons on the table! With each slam, loud and colorful fireworks begin to shoot out from the stage, the ring post, and the ramp. After about seven times of this, the arena is engulfed in a thick smog, and Cassinova throws Crauswell to the ground.
JBL and Sum Guy begin to cough loudly, as well as the fans. Sucks to be an asthmatic tonight.
When the smoke clears, Cassinova and Crauswell are at the top of the stage once more, now heading down the ramp. Crauswell choke-tosses Cassinova to the ground, causing him to roll all the way down to the ring. Cassinova starts to get up, but Crauswell runs up behind him with a knee to the back. Cassinova arches his back in agony, and Craus throws him into the ring. Cass rolls into the center of it as Crauswell climbs the turnbuckle...
SG: Not looking good for Cass...
JBL: Wake up, Cass! Don't blow your chance at the big times!
Crauswell sizes Cassinova up before diving and connecting with the Taking Flight! Crauswell covers!
1...
2...
3? No! Cassinova kicks out just in time. Crauswell can't believe it, and begins to argue with the referee. The referee puts up a pretty good argument, and Crauswell eventually just gives up. Craus turns his attention back to Cassinova to make sure he isn't getting up, before sliding out of the ring. He looks around the announcers' table for something, before he finally finds it:
His Ox-Division Championship Belt. He picks it up and slides back into the ring with it, waiting in the corner for Cassinova to stand up. He crouches and can't wait to take off Cass's head, and finally gets his chance as Cassinova eventually rises. He charges just as Cass turns around and swings the title, only for Cass to hit a drop toe-hold. Crauswell hits the ground and begins to get up, but as he gets into a position on all fours Cass slides the Ox-Division Title under Craus's face and bounces off the ropes. Crauswell doesn't have time to react as Cassinova steps on his back and delivers the California Sunset! The move drops Crauswell's face onto the Ox-Division title, and Cassinova calls for the finish. He climbs out onto the apron and crosses himself, waiting for Crauswell to stand up.
JBL: This could be it!
Crauswell slowly begins to rise, and Cassinova wipes some hair, sweat, and blood from his eyes as he gets ready to springboard. When Crauswell turns around. Cassinova does indeed jumping on the top rope (spinning 180 degrees as he does so), springboard off, spin another 180 degrees back towards Crauswell...
And gets superkicked right in the face! Cassinova is just about out of it, and Crauswell knows it. He wastes no time before picking Cassinova up and applying the Cross Face Gryphon Wing!
SG: Cross Face Gryphon Wing!
JBL: No! Not after all of this!
Crauswell keeps the hold locked in tight, and Cassinova fights it with all that he has. Crauswell perhaps applies more pressure than he ever has before, attempting to either put Cassinova out for tonight, or put him out for good. Cassinova struggles wildly, but Crauswell will not budge--his desire to keep his title encouraging him on. The fans have built up a loud "Cassinova!" chant by now, attempt to try and get him to break the hold and get right back in this. Cassinova can not hear them, however, as he slowly blacks out into a state of semi-consciousness. Eventually, after a long time of this struggle, and after a very hardfought match, Cassinova has no other choice but to...
...Somehow spin out of the move and end up behind Crauswell. Crauswell turns around only to meet a swift kick to the stomach and be placed in a DDT position. Cassinova gives no warning, signal, or finish call, and camera bulbs flash everywhere as he flips forward and absolutely devastates Crauswell with the California DreamDriver!!!
SG: Flip DDT! Flip DDT!
JBL: That's it! Cover him!!!
Both competitors are basically out of it, and Cassinova barely has enough energy to limply drape an arm over Crauswell for the pin...
1...
2...
3!
"Square Dance" blares throughout the arena, and the fans go wild! His theme song wakes him back to reality, and Cassinova is shocked to hear such a positive fan reaction--something he hasn't heard since he's been in EWT.
Announcer: Here's your winner... and NEW EWT Ox-Division Champion... Cassinova!
The referee picks the Ox-Division title off of the ground and hands it to Cassinova. Cass takes the title, and looks at it deeply. He drops to his knees and hair falls about his face as he stares at what so many have put their body on the line for. Blood drips onto the title as he looks down on it, and after a while of gazing at it he hugs it close to his chest and falls to the mat with it. After a while, he stands and holds the title up for all to see, standing victorious in the center of the ring.
JBL: Cassinova has done it! He's won the Ox-Division Championship! I knew I saw something in this young man when he first debuted here...
SG: I believe that everyone has. What a match these two put on. Both Crauswell and Cassinova deserve the right to call themselves two of the best that this company has to offer. I'm on my feet as I speak.
JBL: As am I, son. As am I.
Cassinova climbs to the turnbuckle and beats his chest before spreading his arms like Randy Orton with the title in his right hand. He walks around and does this at all four turnbuckles amidst a "That Match Rocked!" chant, before finally holding the title up one last time and heading to the back...
...Meanwhile, about two minutes after Cass has departed, a few referees have come out to check on Crauswell. Crauswell simply pushes them away from him as he makes it to his feet on his own. After a few seconds of looking around at the fans who give him a standing ovation out of respect, he realizes what just happened.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Mar 25, 2007 22:25:44 GMT -5
This is when the s*** hits the fan.
Crauswell begins to yell out in absolute anger, throwing referees out of the ring and giving Beak Busters left and right! Once every assorted disposable official has been decimated, Crauswell drops to his knees and yells Cassinova's name. He finally rolls out of the ring in a huff and stalks to the back as the fans boo him.
JBL: Uh oh... this might not end well for Cassinova in the future.
SG: It'll be interesting to say the least to see how this turns out.
JBL: Heads will roll, Sum. And with Crauswell, that might be a literal statement.
After a few minutes, the referees regroup and slowly help each other to the back.
Beneath by Nothingface starts playing over the speakers, and JZ comes out to a nice pop from the crowd.
Penzer: “From Anytown, USA, weighing in at 230 pounds, JZ!”
JZ then enters the ring awaiting his opponent.
Cole: Michael cole here alonside JBL, and let me tell you, this is going to be one hell of a match.
JBL: You’re damn right this is going to be one hell of a match! You’ve got a man bitter that his glory days are behind him, if you can call them that, and after tonight, he’ll-
Cole: Excuse me? JZ has held the EWT World Heavyweight and Tag Titles. I think it’s safe to say, he’s had glory days, and as far as I’m concerned, those days are far from over.
JBL: How can you even consider JZ a champion? He’s just a garbage wrestler who got lucky a few times, he did NOTHING during his title reigns!
Cole: Garbage wrestler? Need I remind you who’s the Toolshed Champion?
JBL: But it’s different with Indigo. Indigo has taken crap, and refined, perfected it. Made it something it wasn’t suppose to be. Quality! As I was saying, before being so rudely interrupted, after JZ loses, he’ll fade into
obscurity just like A-Bomb and Ogre, and almost all of those other glorified curtain-jerkers. And then, you have Christopher Indigo, Toolshed Champion his FIRST two months in at EWT! I can’t even say I’ve won a title in
my first two months! To be able to do something JBL hasn’t, my friend, is an indication of just what kind of talent EWT is blessed with!
Cole: Let’s just call this match, alright?
Hybrid Sitgmata by Dimmu Borgir plays over the speakers, Christopher Indigo comes out, Toolshed Title around his waist, and Ingsoc flag draped over him. The audience’s reaction completely turns when Indigo makes his
way to the ring.
Penzer: “From Calgary, Canada, weighing in at 215 pounds, he is the EWT Toolsehd Champion, CHRISTOPHER INDIGO!”
Indigo takes off the flag and Toolshed Title, throwing them to the ref. Indigo and JZ then charge at each other! The two men collide at the center of the ring, exchanging vicious forearms. JZ starts getting the upper hand
in the fight, and he immiediately hammers Indigo into the ropes, and with one more forearm, knocks Indigo to the outside. JZ still not wasting any time goes after Indigo and throws Indigo into the barricade. JZ then
charges towards Indigo, and attempts a running thrust kick to Indigo, but Indigo ducks, and JZ goes balls first into the barricade. Indigo then immediately starts hitting JZ’s chest with several stiff kicks. After hitting the
kicks, Indigo lariats JZ onto the floor! Indigo then picks JZ up and throws him into the barricade. Indigo then lays more kicks to the downed JZ’s ribs. Indigo casually struts back from the barricade, but then charges at the
barricade, hitting JZ with a dropkick into the barricade! Indigo goes over to the apron and looks for weapons.
As Indigo is looking for weapons, JZ struggles to his feet, and he runs at Indigo. He then hits a dropkick on Indigo and both men are now down on the outside! JZ then reaches under the ring, grabs a stop sign, and rises
to his feet. He sees Indigo getting up, and once Indigo is up, JZ tosses the sign at Indigo’s direction. Indigo catches the sign, but suddenly JZ superkicks the sign into Indigo’s face! Indigo stumbles back into the barricade,
and JZ runs towards Indigo and clotheslines him over the barricade and into the audience. Both men now in the audience, JZ starts rapidly picking up chairs and bashing them over Indigo’s head. After being hit the chair
barrage, Indigo is now bleeding, and JZ dropkicks Indigo into more folding chairs once occupied by fans. Indigo, now beneath a mess of chairs is in trouble. Jz runs towards the heap of chairs and Sentons onto the chairs
and Indigo!
JZ now clutching his back in pain, lies on the mess of chairs. He picks up Indigo out of the chairs and throws him further into the audience. He then runs up and off a chair (ala Sabu), and hits Indigo with a
hurricanrana! He picks up Indigo, and lifts him up for a Brainbuster onto the concrete! Indigo starts kneeing him in the head, however, and counters the set up into a snap suplex done out of desperation. Both men are
now once more down. JZ slowly rises to his feet, however, and waits for Indigo to completely rise to his feet. Once Indigo is on his feet, JZ charges towards Indigo and hits him with a swinging DDT onto the floor! JZ
then picks up Indigo and hits him with a knee to the face which sends Indigo stumbling back towards the barricade. JZ then hits Indigo with a running knee which sends Indigo back and over the barricade.
JZ starts high-fiving various fans and taking in the glory, while Indigo is in pain at ringside.
JBL: Now, see Cole? This is why JZ is stuck on skid row, and Indigo is considered the future of EWT! He wasn’t signing autographs and kissing babies during a match! He was in that ring, getting it done!
Cole: Actually, JBL, JZ is just taking a little time to make the fans actually HAPPY they’re there. He’s letting the fans know that they’re just as much a part of EWT as the wrestlers themselves. And these are also mind
games being played by the cagey veteran JZ. He’s showing Indigo he has time to fraternize in the heat of this match!
JZ then hops over the barricade to get back to the match, but CRASH! The stop sign comes crumpling over the head of JZ, the sign in the hands of Indigo. Indigo then hits JZ with a Koppu Kick! JZ now down, it appears
the momentum has swung in the Toolshed Champ’s direction. Indigo proceeds to start stomping on JZ. Indigo, seeing JZ is weak, decides now is his opportunity to strike. Indigo gets up onto the apron, and waits for JZ to
get up. Once JZ is up, Indigo jumps onto and off of the second rope, and attempts a Moonsault, but Jz quickly rolls into the ring, avoiding the Moonsault in a move that reflects veteran knowledge. However, Indigo lands on
his feet. JZ runs towards and comes off of the ropes, attempting a baseball slide, but Indigo sidesteps the maneuver, drags JZ to the outside, and starts hitting him with several stiff forearms. JZ is now dazed, and Indigo
quickly leaps onto the apron, comes off the second rope, and hits JZ with a Moonsault!
Indigo now takes control of the match, stomping the back of JZ's head and laying the stop sign on top of it. He wastes no time and jumps to the apron and back off with a leg drop! Indigo watches as JZ rolls on the floor
holding his head in pain. He moves the stop sign away from JZ and picks him up by his head. Indigo then sets up for a DDT onto the sign, but JZ grabs the ropes and Indigo falls back first onto the sign. JZ tries to stand
straight up but leans back on the apron holding his head.
Cole: Indigo may have done some serious damage here. JZ is trying to shake it off though.
JZ realizes he can't just waste this time and tries to drag Indigo to his feet, but is hit with a low blow. Chris pushes upward and sends JZ flying backwards headfirst into the steel steps!
JBL: That's gonna take him out of the game real quick.
Indigo sees JZ sitting beside the steps with his head leaning against them, and decides to make a move. He climbs onto the apron and runs across it with a dropkick, but JZ rolls out of the way and Indigo hits the steps
real hard, sending the top step flying into the barricade.
JBL: There's the experience by JZ.
Cole: Indigo taking too many risks and this one didn't pay off.
JZ stumbles to his feet and kicks Indigo in the back a few times. He reaches into the crowd and grabs a chair. Indigo is on his hands and knees and JZ lays into him with a huge chair shot. JZ then picks him up from the
floor and rolls him into the ring. JZ tries to get the match over with, but Indigo kicks out of the pin at 2. JZ holds his head in pain and angrily looks at the ref. Indigo gets to his feet but stumbles in the corner, and JZ
lays into him with a few stiff forearms. He whips Indigo into the other turnbuckle and charges at him. Indigo moves and JZ eats the turnbuckle. Indigo now kicks JZ in the back of the head with all his might using the
ropes for leverage. JZ collapses into the ropes, still standing because of them. Indigo jumps onto the second rope and dropkicks JZ in the face sending him to the mat. Indigo quickly hooks his leg for the pin. JZ gets his
foot on the ropes.
JBL: He was too close to the ropes kid!
Indigo picks JZ up and tries to his a brainbuster to end the match, but JZ slips behind Indigo and hits a german suplex onto his head. JZ keeps a hold of the suplex and Indigo looks to be dead after that. JZ gets back to a
vertical base and looks to hit another supelx, but Indigo breaks out of it and gets behind JZ and hits a backdrop driver!
Cole: Oh my, did you see how he landed on his head!
JBL: Both of these guys may have broken necks! I'm surprised Indigo was even able to hit that after that stiff as hell german from JZ!
The referee begins to count them both out.
1..2..3..4...5...6...7...both of them reach for the ropes and begin to crawl back to their feet, and the referee stops counting because he wants a clean finish just like everyone else.
Indigo gets to his feet and stumbles to the middle of the ring as does JZ. The both of them meet in the center of the ring nose to nose. JZ puts his arms behind his back and protrudes his chin forward, as if he was giving
Indigo a free shot. Chris leans back and puts all his might into the punch, but JZ ducks it and comes back with a three punch combo to the face. JZ now winds up for the fourth shot and Indigo ducks that and hits JZ
with a three punch combo of his own! The both of them are really dazed now and JZ hits another punch to the face. Indigo reels from the shot, but comes back with a punch of his own! JZ is about standing on spaghetti
legs here, but he also meets the challenge with a punch.
JBL: This match is going to come down to whoever can survive here. Both of these guys are out of it .
Indigo comes back with a forearm to the face! JZ stumbles backwards all the way into the ropes and bounces back with a forearm of his own! Indigo stumbles back as well and bounces off of the ropes into JZ with a lariat
that JZ takes with full force but doesn't fall. Indigo looks stunned at this and runs the ropes again, but JZ ducks the clothesline this time and catches Indigo on the rebound with a superkick that miraculously doesn't
knock Indigo down either! He spins from the force of the kick and comes back a Spinning Discuss forearm that sends teeth flying from the mouth of JZ, but he doesn't go down.
Cole: Whatever they're running on I want some!
JBL: They aren't running on anything but pure adrenaline right now Michael. Both of these guys want to win so bad that neither of them will fall.
Both men now look at each other in utter disbelief. JZ turns away from Indigo, but then trys to fake him out by charging at him. Indigo dodges and JZ jumps onto the top turnbuckle. Indigo runs up and grabs JZ in the
german suplex position. Indigo sends them both flying off with a german suplex but at the last second JZ kicks his feet off of the top turnbuckle and breaks the grip, and Indigo can't hold on and lets go. Both of them come
crashing down on their heads in the center of the ring. The ref sees this carnage and begins his count again.
1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... Both men lay there dead. he ref doesn't want to finish the count,but has no choice. 9... 10!!
The bell rings and the ring announcer grabs the microphone.
Penzer: As by referee's count, this match will end in a double disqualification! In the result of a double disqualification, still the EWT Toolshed Champion, Chris Indigo!
The referee lays the title onto of Chris, but he isn't moving and neither is JZ.
JBL: That is prime example of self-sacrifice Cole. JZ probably wouldn't have won the match if he would have let Indigo keep a hold of the suplex, but he wouldn't have landed completely on his neck either.
Cole: Neither man wanted to lose the match, and both of them went to great lengths to prove that.
* Toom E Dangerously’s music hits as he makes his way to the ring & grabs the microphone.*
Now fans, at this time, you would have seen the 10 Man Elimination Tag Team Match. But due to some irresponsible parties, this match will not be taking place. And why is that? Well, simple….Spaz. You see, Spaz allowed his Visa to expire, therefore he could not make it back to the United States. And you see, this once again shows why Spaz is not reliable at all. And this is why Spaz will NEVER get another chance at the EWT Heavyweight Championship as long as I stand here in an EWT ring.
And speaking of the EWT Ring, I am pleased to announce that we will once again have a series of EWT Fan Appreciation Shows. And you see, these shows will take place at somewhere special. Somewhere where everybody gets lucky. Somewhere where the sky is the limit. Somewhere where the dice rolls. Somewhere…where the air is sweet. So, can you tell me how to get…how to get to Sesame Place?
* Cut to a prepared video package of Sesame Place in Pennsylvania as we then cut back to the ring for the main event.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Mar 25, 2007 22:26:42 GMT -5
LILLIAN: Ladies and gentlemen...the following contest is scheduled for one fall...and is the first ever "Remember the Name" Tables match! For the EWT...WORLD. HEAVYWEIGHT. CHAMPIONSHIP!
*"High Voltage (WTC Remix)" by Linkin Park plays, and the crowd gets right up on their feet and boos as Mike Ragnal walks out, with Andy Duke and Johnathan Doe walking behind him.*
LILLIAN: Entering first is the challenger, from Scranton, PA, being accompanied to the ring by fellow Cidal Squad members, "Insecticidal" Andy Duke and "Sinnercidal" Johnathan Doe...The "Elementalcidal"...MIKE! RAGNAL!
*As the Cidal Squad makes thei way down to the ring, Jim Ross and Michael Cole take to commentary.*
JR: Well, here it is, folks. Months of backstage heat, it all comes down to this. Two men with more hatred than anyone can fathom out will be fighting for the EWT World Heavyweight Championship, and finally lay claim as to who is better man.
JBL: I have to say, Jim, this really has been a turn of events. The night Merc wins the title is the same night that Mike Ragnal turns on the crowd, joins the Cidal Squad as their mentor, and all for what? A title shot.
JR: Jibble, Mike may be a bad apple that fell too far from the tree, but you have to admit that he's able to show that he has the skills to back himself up.
JBL: No argument on his talent, Jim. No argument there at all. But when you consider all he's done these past few weeks, attacking Merc, costing Daryl Dragon the Ox Gauntlet, destroying the Radicalz, you can see that he's turned over a new leaf entirely.
JR: The sad thing is, that leaf is all shriveled up and dead.
*As they talk, Mike and the Squad are already inside the ring, Mike yelling at whatever hecklers are out there. Pretty soon, he turns to the Toomitron, cracking his knuckles as he waits for the champ.*
LILLIAN: And his opponent...
*"The Monster's Loose" by Meatloaf plays, and the crowd goes ecstatic. Mike just looks out at the crowd like they have ADD. Merc walks out, and holds the EWT World Heavyweight championship high over his head. Blue pyro sparks pour down from the top of the Toomitron.
LILLIAN: ...he is the current reigning EWT World Heavyweight Champion...MERC!
*As the pyro stops, Merc walks down the ramp, staring daggers at Mike, who's waving his hand as if to tell Merc to "bring it". Merc slides into the ring, dropping the World title to the ground, and pummeling left and right into Mike. Duke and Doe each grab an arm of Merc's and hold him back. Mike waves his hands towards him to bring him towards him. Duke and Doe whip Merc towards Mike, and he hits Merc with a spinebuster! Mike goes for the pin.*
1!
2!
*Kickout from Merc. As Duke and Doe slide out of the ring, Mike picks Merc up and whips him into the ropes, looking for a clothesline, but Merc ducks under, bounces off the opposite ropes, and spears him into the canvas! Merc goes for the pin.*
1!
2!
*Mike gets a shoulder up.*
JR: Well, you have to admit, this match isn't off to a bad start.
JBL: Depends who you're a fan of.
*Merc picks Mike up off the ground and lifts him into a suplex position. Merc keeps him up for a good thirty seconds, but before he can finally finish the suplex, Mike falls back down, and reverses the suplex. He raises Merc over his head, bounces him off the ropes, and nails a springboard suplex. Mike holds on for a pinfall.*
1!
2!
*Merc kicks out. Mike runs to the ropes and comes back with a leg drop, but Merc rolls out of the way, and Mike hits the canvas with his legs. Merc gets up as Mike is on his feet, and punts him in the back. Merc picks Mike right back up and hits a snap suplex. Merc gets right back to his feet and bounces off the ropes, looking to hit an elbow drop, but Mike rolls out of the way and gets to his feet. He runs off the ropes, and as Merc gets to his feet, Mike dropkicks him back, and Merc falls through the ropes. Merc gets onto his feet, only to be met with a beating from Duke and Doe. Mike gets to the ropes and tells them both to hold Merc up. They each grab an arm of Merc's, and as Mike leaps off the second rope, Andy and Johnathan let go, letting Merc get hit with a CROSSBODY!*
JR: Delivered right onto Merc with great precision!
JBL: It's no wonder why Toomi made Mike Ragnal the number one contender. Mike is able to show his abilities without a cage, OR having to fear a shakr in any way!
*Mike gets to his feet, and signals for Duke and Doe to hold off.*
MIKE: I got this, guys. Just watch and learn!
*Mike picks Merc up by the head and knees him in the gut several times, and follows up with a whip into the ring apron. Merc yells and grabs his back, stepping up from the apron...and getting hit by a clothesline from Mike! Mike picks Merc up by the head and tosses him back into the ring. Mike climbs onto the apron and pulls back on the top rope, slinging himself on top of Merc with a senton. Mike goes to pin.*
1!
2!
*Merc gets a shoulder up. Mike picks him up and whips him into a corner, but Merc puts his foot on the second turnbuckle and hits the breaks. As Mike runs at him, Merc hits him with an elbow to the face. Mike staggers around, and Merc runs at him with a bulldog! Merc drops a fist to the back of the head and rolls Mike over for the cover.*
1!
2!
*Mike gets a shoulder up. Merc picks Mike up and whips him into a corner, nailing him with a clothesline in the process. Merc picks Mike up in the suplex position, then places him op the top turnbuckle. Merc climbs up and grabs Mike, looking for the Mercenary Driver.*
JR: Merc looking to end this one a little early, folks.
JBL: Merc might have a chance here if it weren't for the fact Mike has a little help from his friends.
*Merc picks Mike up, falls back off the turnbuckle, and connects. Merc rolls on top for the pin.*
1!
2!
*Duke and Doe each grab one of Merc's legs and drag him out of the ring. Both men kick Merc in the gut, then lift him up for a double suplex, Bringing him down BACK FIRST ONTO THE BARRICADE! Mike, already on his feet, sees their work and applauds them both. Duke climbs on the apron, and after Johnathan delivers a chop across Merc's chest ("WOOO!"), Andy leaps off with a GUILLOTINE LEGDROP! Merc falls to the gound face first, then Mike gets onto the apron next.*
MIKE: Alright, keep back, guys. Let him get up.
JIM: Well, this is questionable.
JBL: Not at all, Jim. Mike may be Elementalcidal now, but he still knows how to put on a good show.
*Merc finally gets to his feet, grabbing his upper back in pain. With his back turned, Mike runs across the apron, leaps off...ENZIGURI TO MERC! Mike gets back to his feet and picks Merc up and goes to whip him into the gaurdail. Mike goes for a clothesline, but Merc gets up with enough time and LARIATS Mike! Duke and Doe charge at him next, but Merc lays a double clothesline to them both. Mike gets to his feet, but Merc grabs a hold of him and knees him in the gut, then slams his head into the gaurdrail! Merc tosses Mike back into the ring, and goes for the pin.*
1!
2!
*KICKOUT. Merc slams his hands into the mat in frustration, then looks at the cornerpost with an idea. He climbs up to the top rope, waiting for Mike to get to his feet.*
JR: Merc's going for a high risk! This is crazy for him!
*Mike staggers to his feet, and as he turns around, Merc leaps off for an axe handle slam...Mike ducks! Before Merc can turn around, Mike hoists him onto his shoulders, preparing for a Ragnalrok...Merc slides out behind Mike. Mike turns around, only to be met with a kick to the gut, and Merc hoists him onto his shoulders, delivering a Death Valley Driver! Merc goes to pin!*
*There's no ref to count! Merc looks up and he sees...Joe One at the apron?!*
JR: Wait a minute, what the hell is he doing here?!
JBL: Remember a few weeks ago when Ragnal promised Joe first cracks at the title shot? That's exactly what he's trying to do- Make sure he gets that chance as soon as possible!
*Joe is arguing with the ref, and Merc yells to try and get the ref's attention. Without realizing it, five more figures make their way into the ring...It's TJT and Jack Jupiter! Jimmy Thunder gets his head under Merc's legs and picks him up on his shoulders, falls back...THUNDER CRASH! Jupiter drags Mike on top of Merc, then the four slide out of the ring. Joe One gets off the apron, his part of the task complete.*
JR: Bah Gawd, this is a travesty! What a sad way for Merc to lose the Championship!
*The ref, now undistracted, sees the pin and makes the count.*
1!
2!
*NO! Merc's still able to get his shoulder up! Mike rolls off of him, still barely conscious. Joe One and TJT&J look visibly upset by this. Jason Jupiter and Thunder get in the ring while Terina check to see if both Cidal Squad members are out cold, but the ref tries to hold them back. After a few seconds of arguing, the ref gets pulled out of the ring by...Chris Indigo! Grabbing the Toolshed title, Indigo rams it into the ref's head, knocking him out for the time being. Jupiter and Thunder pick Merc up and Thunder sets him into a Crucifix. Jupiter gets Merc ready for an inverted cutter...and they NAIL IT!*
JR: And Thunder has Struck to Jupiter!
*The two slap hands in the ring. All of a sudden, they turn around, only to be met with two very displeased looks from Duke and Doe.*
DUKE: What the hell are you doing?!
JUPITER: What's it look like, huh? We're making sure your mentor wins so Joe can get his shot!
THUNDER: We're practically HELPING you!
DUKE: AND WHO THE HELL SAID WE NEEDED YOUR HELP!
*That said, Duke shoves Jupiter. Jupiter, shocked by this, shoves Duke back and laughs at him. Duke, pissed now, runs at Jupiter, and dropkicks him through the ropes. Doe knocks Thunder down with a vicious clothesline, then grabs his legs, looking at the ropes with a sinister smile.*
JR: Good god, Doe's going for the same move he's done to Merc and Perry Saturn!
JBL: Johnathan's gonna need a name for that soon. He seems to be fond of it anymore.
*Before Doe can catapult Thunder, Joe One grabs Doe's legs and trips him. Joe drags him to the nearest corner, looking to pull him in for a groin attack...until Marcus Saxton clobbers him from behind! Mike Corral and Chad Michaels follow shortly after, and as Indigo and Jack Jupiter come at them, a brawl starts up between the two factions.*
JBL: And there it is! Rated X and Minpax are at it between themselves!
*Michaels and Corral start trading blows with Jack and Chris as Saxton picks Joe One up off the ground and slams his head into the gaurdail. Marcus then whips Joe into the gaurdrail, and Joe tumbles over. Marcus climbs over, and the two begin to brawl through the crowd. Michaels and Corral, meanwhile, whip Indigo and Jack into each other, knocking them down good. Both of them get attacked from behind by THunder and Jupiter, as they both get knocked to the ground. Thunder and Jupiter continue to kick at them both...until Jobby and Axel take them out from behind! Axel and Jobby take both men and brawl with them up the ramp to the back, Terina following behind. As Corral and Michaels get to their feet, Andy Duke and Johnathan Doe clobber them from behind, and begin brawling with them right there. Mike, now on his feet, springboards out of the ring...FLYING SENTON! Mike quickly gets back to his feet and climbs into the ring, only to be met with a boot to the face by Merc. As Rated X and the Cidal Squad gewt back to their feet, they keep brawling until they're up the ramp and out of the arena as Merc goes to pin. With the ref still knocked out, another ref comes down the ramp and slides into the ring as fast as he can.*
1!
2!
*NO! Mike kicks out.*
JR: Well, that's a damn shame for Merc!
JBL: Yeah right. Who does he think he is? Snitsky?
*Merc, visibly upset, picks Mike up and whips him into the ropes, but Mike reverses and whips Merc into a corner. Mike positions Merc so that he's sitting down on the top turnbuckle. Mike leaps up and wraps his legs around Merc's neck and goes for a hurracanrana. Merc is able to keep Mike from pulling the move off, and keeps him in for a piledriver. Merc jumps off the turnbuckles...ROUND UP! Merc goes to pin!*
1!
2!
3...NO! Mike gets his shoulder up! Merc gets to his hands and knees and looks down at the canvas, his sweat falling from his face. Merc decides to go for the turnbuckles again. He waits for Mike to get to his feet. Mike turns towards him, and Merc leaps off for a flying clothesline...MIKE DUCKS. Mike turns around and grabs Merc from behind and hoists him onto his shoulders for the Ragnalrok...Merc slides out! Merc spins Mike around and hoists him onto his shoulders, and connects with the Death Valley Driver! Merc goes to pin again!*
1!
2!
3...NO! Mike kicks out again! Merc picks Mike up once more and whips him into the ropes. Merc sets him on the turnbuckle so that he's seated, then goes to pick him up for another Mercenary Driver...Mike slides out! He grabs Merc from behind and hoists him onto his shoulders. He spins him over his head...RAGNALROK!!! RAGNALROK CONNECTS! MIKE GOES TO PIN!*
1!
2!
3!!!!
DING! DING! DING!
LILLIAN: Here is your winner...and NEW! Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation World Heavyweight Champion..."Elemental"...Mike...RAGNAAAAL!
*High Voltage (Footsoldier Remix) plays as Mike rolls out of the ring, and as he reaches the floor, he falls to his knees, and the ref comes at him with the World title. He hands it to Mike, and Mike grabs it with both hands, holding it close to his chest as he rolls to his feet. The crowd boos Mike with sheer hatred as he holds the title up high, walking backwards up the ramp. Doe and Duke come out and congratulate him, as the last image before fading out is Merc, laid out on the canvas.
© EWT 2007
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