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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:13:43 GMT -5
* Crap-a-mania !!!! opens as a Sixteen Piece band marches down to the ring. Confetti falls from the rafters as gymnasts do cartwheels on the stage. Just then, a parachute team lands in the center of the ring, as we see the team is known other then Bert, Ernie, & Guy Smiley. All 3 wave to the crowd and take their seat at the Sesame Street Announce table at ringside. Just then, the camera pans towards the stage as EWT Hall of Famer Tim McGraw & his wife Faith Hill take to the stage.*
Tim: O beautiful for spacious skies Faith: For amber waves of grain Tim: For purple mountains majesty Faith: Above the fruited plains…..
* As they sing, they both look deep into each other’s eyes & start making out on the stage before the song even finishes in typical Tim McGraw/Faith Hill Duet action. Just then, an EWT agent rushes out & throws cold water on the 2. Tim & Faith turn & look at the agent with anger, as the agent gestures for them to finish the song.*
Tim & Faith: America! America! God shed his grace on thee And crown thy good with brotherhood From sea to shining sea!
* The fans cheer as they brush themselves off of the water & head backstage. The ring announcer stands in the center of the ring & begins to speak:*
Announcer: Good evening & welcome to Sesame Place in beautiful Pennsylvania!!! And welcome to Crap-a-mania !!!!
* Just then Mr. Jack S Manson interrupts the ring announcer. *
Jack: Now hold on here a minute. This monstrosity you call a wrestling even needs to stop NOW!!! I have been here in EWT for about a week now & what I have seen disgusts me. For starters, I am forced to face off against a man known as the Junkyard Dog. And what happens there? I am forced to show you all the actions of my hands. And look at what is being done here. It disgusts me to no ends. You see, there is a team that goes by the name of Rated X. And as fans of EWT, this type of behavior that these filth mongers do should disgust as much as it disgusts me. This….filth….parades around here like they own this place, offending everybody they meet with. And I guarantee you that this will stop….SOONER THEN YOU THINK!!!
* Manson throws the microphone at the ring announcer & storms out of the ring as we get ready for our opening contest.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:14:09 GMT -5
*"Otherworld" hits through the speakers, and four fireworks explode. After that, Mysth and Ivy show up at the end of the ramp.*
Finkel: Ladies and gentlemen ! Please welcome the French Connection ! And the contender for tonight' s match, being accompanied by Ivy Rospine, from Strasbourg, France, weighing in at 218 lbs, this is... MYYYYSTH !!
*Mysth high fives some crowd members and Ivy waves at them and throws kisses. Mysth smiles and points at a crowd sign which reading "CAM 4 : Mysth makes Scurvy walk the plank. They reach the ring and Ivy places herself at ringside, pointing at Mysth and smiling. Mysth ties himself to the ropes and motions with his finger from the left to the right, pointing at the crowd, while four new fireworks explode, one at each corner of the ring. Mysth enters into the ring and stares at the ramp, ready for action."
JBL: It warms my heart to see a Frenchmen that is actually not backing down from a fight. There's hope for them yet.
Styles: Yes, well racist comments aside, this looks to be a good match. Have you kept up with the story, Tony?
Schiavone: Indeed I have, Joey. What an odd rivalry we have in Scurvy/Mysth. Yet, at the same time, a textbook study in how to play mind games. It all started with those videos speaking of the coming of a cursed one. Little did we know that the true individual would be an individual who's only curses come from those that dislike him... Right, John?
JBL: I think my hatred as well as the rest of the story is well known, including those stupid black spots. Now let's get this Mysth victory over with.
* “You are a Pirate” blares over the Sesame Place speakers. *
*As par for the course, Polly “flies” out from the back. He “soars” from side to side of the ramp before “hovering” off to the side from the entrance ramp. The children in the crowd eagerly await the appearance of the pirate of EWT and explode into cheers once he pops from out of the back. He lifts his leg up and shouts a mighty....*
Scurvy: AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!
JBL: Damn you, you bloody pirate!
Styles: So much for unbiased opinions...
Finkel: From Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrkansas, by way of the Sea... Weighting in at 226 lbs... Being accompanied to the ring by Polly.... SIMON SCURVY!
*Scurvy strolls down the ramp, with Polly “perched” on his shoulders, all the while staring at his opponent. His confident look leaves Mysth with a slightly angered look under his mask. The pirate stops near the end of the ramp, to pull out his cutlass to point at Mysth. He laughs a mighty pirate laugh and lets out a monstrous....*
Scurvy: A-
*The arena blacks out to loud thunder clashes and the sounds of rough wind. The crowd chatters away in confusion as to what this means. All noise stops the second a frighteningly loud sound causes many to cry out in surprise. The same kids who were excited for Scurvy's entrance are now wanting it to end. The spot where Scurvy and Polly were standing appears to be strangely lit up by a reddish light. A luminous beam focuses down on the odd light, exposing a slightly fog covered horror. A chorus of gasps are heard as the light is actually what looks to be a lifeless Polly covered in embers on the ground. Directly next to the bird is Simon Scurvy, or what is left of him. He is soaking in his own blood as a horrid gash on his forehead is expelling blood at a steady rate.*
Styles: Call me crazy, but I don't think that Scurvy is going to be able to compete.
JBL: I don't like the man, period. But it's a shame that this match won't take place. I was looking forward to Mysth to... Well do exactly what Scurvy looks like here.
Schiavone: Now what does Mysth do? He has been deprived of his revenge... He has no way to get rid of the all the anger and all the grief that he has been forced to bear from those mind games of Scurvy.
Styles: But what happened is what I want to know. Who could do such a thing?
Schiavone: I don't think anyone could have carried out such act in such a short amount of time.
JBL: You clearly overestimate the pirate and his “bird”.
Styles: He managed to get a victory over you didn't he?
*The air is thick with the open weeping of young Scurvy fans as they see their hero. The beam on Scurvy and Polly slowly fades away while another focuses down on Mysth. The Darkness in the Light looks unsure how to act. His hatred rival, who has haunted him for months now, has been bloodied right in front of his eyes. However, he chooses not to show any emotion... In case this is another one of Scurvy's mind games. Rather, he starts to pump himself up for the match anyway. Just as he starts doing so, the anti-fire system begins to react to the fire that was blanketing the downed Polly. Mysth looks nerved by the water; a seemingly synthetic rain to the audience. A beam shines back down to where the fallen mates lay, only for it to show the same drizzle clashing with the irregular fog. Scurvy and Polly are nowhere to be seen. Mysth, now pacing in the ring, is wondering what is going on. He looks over at Ivy, who returns his attention with a puzzled expression.*
“Yo....ho......yo....ho........A.....pirate's........life......for....me......”
*From out of fog on the ramp, a figure steps into the light. He's a large, weathered man with heavy dark circled oceanic blue eyes. He once may have been handsome but his features have been eroded. His clothes suggest that he may have been from another time and place. After a slight pause in the light, he slowly makes his way to the ring as the light follows him. Mysth looks troubled by the look of this strange individual but nevertheless he's not willing to back down to Scurvy's pranks. The figure reaches the closest ring steps, as he takes a step on the steel his weather beaten boots clank. Ivy looks at this imposing figure with a tinge of fear in her eyes. She glances over at her confident boyfriend with some concern. Something about this man has her uneasy. Mysth does not share these concerns, rather he looks at the towering figure with defiance. The figure glances over at Howard Finkel, who breaks the silence.*
Schiavone: Do either of you know this man?
Styles: I can't really say... Although, I think we found our attacker.
JBL: Can we really call this figure a man? I dare say, he looks more demon than man... You don't think...
Styles: Was Scurvy just a fake?
Schiavone: I think John's right, THIS figure maybe the true tormentor of Mysth!
Finkel: *glass eyed and strangely monotone* From The Depths of the Caribbean.... Weighting in at 277... Captain Ferhago Crow.
Schiavone: And now we have a name...
JBL: Ferhago Crow... I don't think that's a common name...
Styles: And I don't think he's a common man, did you see the way he looked at Howard Finkel?
*The figure called Crow glares back at Mysth, while Finkel shakes his head and looks very confused at what just happened. Crow reaches up and pulls off his Tricorn to place on the ring post. He then pull himself up to the top rope and walks on the ropes, with the grace of cat. All the while staring at Mysth, who returns the gaze. Having walked a full circle around Mysth, Crow steps down into the ring from the ropes. He pulls off his coat and throws it to the outside. Mysth glances over at the ramp, half expecting Scurvy to come from the ramp. But that is quelled after the lights return, which reveals the path to the locker room empty. The ring bell sounds off the start of the match, which pulls Mysth back to the ring and to his opponent. Crow remains in an unnatural stillness.*
Schiavone: What an ominous entrance for Captain Crow...
Styles: This whole match dynamic has changed. Before, Mysth had the ability... The speed... And was close to size with Scurvy. But now...
JBL: Mysth only has the speed. And he'll have to plot of his moves deliberately. That is IF Crow is half as capable as he is physically impressive.
*After a stare off from across the ring, Mysth decides to take the first action. He rushes toward the towering figure, with reckless abandon. He attempts a Dropkick to the knees off the man known as Crow. In a shocking turn of events, Crow leaps over Mysth. As Mysth quickly stands, he is met face to face (or rather face to chest) with Crow. Again, Crow looks as if he is frozen in time. Losing his cool, Mysth rears back and hits a Powerful Punch on Crow. The dark figure leans back as the punch looks to have floored him. Mysth glances over at Ivy, with a smile on his face. Little does he know that Crow has straighten himself up. Mysth turns just in time to see the unforgiving heel of Crow's boot as it uppercuts his jaw. The sight is unbelievable for everyone other than Mysth and his girlfriend, Ivy as the mysterious figure as the dirty blonde haired giant did a full back flip which struck Mysth down. Crow lands perfectly on his knees then slowly stands to his feet again.*
Styles: You don't think that...
Schiavone: Could Crow be just as fast as Mysth?
JBL: If so, Mysth is a world of trouble...
*Crow waits no time in picking up the fallen Mysth by his hair. Crow holds in piece as he glares at him, a large to be sure as Mysth pulls a surprising Hurricanarama. But before Mysth can celebrate, he realizes that Crow landed on his feet and has already turned to meet him. Mysth, expecting this, lands a Enziguri on the pirate. Mysth jumps to his feet, again thinking that he has bested Crow. Although Crow is feeling the effects of the blow, he is still standing. Sensing an opening, Mysth grabs Crow for a impressive Tornado DDT. But at the end of the move, Crow grabs Mysth and launches him into a landing like a Should Back Toss. Mysth lands on his back, gasping in pain and shock. Crow slowly steps over to Mysth and sets him up for a Powerbomb like maneuver. As he lifts up Mysth for a move some of sort lifting move, but Mysth is surprises everyone when he finally hits the Tornado DDT on Crow. For the first time, Crow is down on the ground. Mysth covers for the pin but he suddenly finds himself flying off the large man. Ferhago, from his back, rolls backward to his knees, then to his feet.*
Schiavone: It seems no matter what Mysth does to bring down the big Crow, it just isn't enough.
Styles: I think we are all surprised with how fast Crow is able to move. I think that Mysth has to do something to save himself from ruin here.
JBL: I don't think it's just a physical limitation that's holding Mysth back, it's all the mind games being played. Added to this is the fact that Mysth had prepared himself for a quick win over Scurvy but got more than a match against Crow. I fear that no matter how hard he tries, he will not be able to overcome this force.
*Mysth meets the kneeling Crow with a Dropkick that knocks the “force” to the ground. Seeing a rare opening, Mysth stomps repeatedly on the head of Crow. Then he locks in a Dragon Sleeper, in attempt for a different strategy. It appears to be working as Crow looks trapped in the hold.*
JBL: I like what Mysth is doing here! If he keeps the larger Crow grounded, he just may win this match!
Styles: Yes, I was just about to say the same thing but if Mysth wants this to be truly effective... He needs to get away from the ro-
Schiavone: Too late.
*Indeed it is, as Crow has reached the ropes by placing his foot under the bottom rope. Mysth lets go instantly to make it to a standing position. As Crow lifts his head, Mysth stomps it down. After being successful with these stomps for about five times, Mysth runs to Crow's side and hits a Back Flip Splash. On the mat that is, for Crow has already done his roll to his knees. Angry with his failure Mysth pulls himself up quickly, not giving himself time to recover, and runs against back against the ring ropes in order to pick up momentum for a something big. But just as he is about to hit something, Crow throws himself high up in the air. The crowd gasps as Mysth flails in the air, while Ivy looks on in horror. As Mysth drops down to the mat, Crow hits a stiff Dropkick that causes poor Mysth to land to the outside. He lands with a hard thud on the ground outside the ring. Ivy screams and runs to her fallen boyfriend. As she checks on him the referee begins the count. At two, she looks up at the dangerous Crow, directly into his cold eyes. Immediately, she wishes that she didn't. Her eyes start watering without her control. In a weak whisper, she asks for Mysth to give up. However, he seems unwilling and pulls himself to his feet. Without Ivy's help, he makes it back to the ring at the count of 7.*
Schiavone: Frankly, I'm surprised with Mysth's ability to press on. With a move like that, a lesser man would have been out there...
JBL: No doubt there, Tony. I dare say that Mysth is the bravest Frenchman I've ever seen.
*As soon as Mysth enters into the ring, Crow runs at him, but Mysth expected that and ducks, Crow bounces into the ropes and Mysth hits a Dropkick ! Then, he runs to the ropes and nails a devastating Shining Wizard ! Mysth points at the crowd, signaling a second one. He runs at the ropes but Crow straightens all of a sudden and hits a Big Boot ! Now Crow pulls Mysth by the hair, lifts him into a delayed Reverse Brain Buster-like position and holds him in that position for a small amount of time. He then falls back, but maintains Mysth' s straight angle, and drives him victim down with an almost Reverse Spike DDT ending !! The crowd collectively gasps at the angle in which that Mysth's head landed on the ground. Ivy's face hides no emotion as all of her concern clouds her face as Mysth lies motionless on the ground, while Crow covering him.*
Styles : WHAT A BRAINBUSTER !! It' s over for Mysth !!
ONE...
TWO...
KICK OUT !!
*As surprising as it may seem, Mysth got out of it after the two count, which rejoices Ivy, and the crowd starts chanting for Mysth. Mysth slowly gets up with a smirk. Crow comes next to him and starts punching him. Mysth is obviously hurt but still manages to get on both his feet, and eventually blocks one of Crow' s punches ! And he uses it to hit a Short Range Lariat ! Crow gets up quickly, only to get hit with an Enziguri ! The crowd is cheering for Mysth now and Ivy is beaming ! And it gets even stronger as they see Mysth rise his right hand and pull on his glove for the Iron Claw !! Mysth is applying a strong pressure, and you can see Crow struggling to force Mysth to release the hold, but that' s not working... until he manages to grab Mysth' s hand, get it out of his face and, with his free hand, grab Mysth' s throat. Now Crow is getting up and Mysth is trying as hard as he can to get Crow' s hand away from his throat. Crow is now on his two feet with a very mean look on his face while Ivy is witnessing all of this, powerless.*
JBL : That' s it !! Crow has Mysth in his pocket !
Schiavone : Oh no !! I can' t watch !!
*Now Crow lifts Mysth and smashes him to the ground with a huge Chokeslam which turns the crowd members' expression from joy to awe... and get back to joy when they see Mysth getting up in a sitting position almost instantly.*
Schiavone : DID YOU SEE THE SAME THING AS ME ??
Styles : HOLY S*** !! How could Mysth get up that quickly from such a devastating move ??
Schiavone : It' s almost like the roles are reversed, now. Mysth is leading the dance no matter what Crow does !
JBL : Wow wow wow, Tony. Before he can do that, he'll have to grow two feet !
*Now Mysth is grabbing Crow and manages to perform a Snap Suplex. With Crow on the ground, Mysth grabs one of his legs and points to the sky and gets a huge pop ! And here he goes for the Sharpshooter !! The EWT crowd witnesses the incredible spectacle of Mysth dominating Crow for the first time in the match ! His facial features contort in a way that would even suggest pain ! Crow is struggling his way to the ropes, but Mysth pulls him back in the center of the ring, tightening the hold even more. But, despite the growing pain Crow feels, he now manages to crawl even faster ! He finally reaches the ropes, and the referee asks Mysth to break the hold, but it' s a too great opportunity for Mysth to cause damage on his opponent, and for the first time ever, he blatantly refuses to break the hold ! But that' s not saying much as Crow leans against the turnbuckle in order to get out of the Sharpshooter end he ends up kicking Mysth and sending him flying away !*
JBL: Look at the power of Crow! What power!
Styles: But one can't discount the never say die attitude of Mysth! I dare say that if he continues that route, he just may win this thing.
*Crow gets up and Mysth as well. Crow starts running at Mysth, who tries to counter with a clothesline but Crow ducks, bounces and leans toward the ground and hits a Spinning Wheel Kick out of nowhere with the boot' s heel right in Mysth' s face !! Ivy doesn't know what to do to help her boyfriend. She' s looking everywhere but she knows Mysth will be disqualified if Mysth uses a weapon during the match. And in the meanwhile on the ring, Crow sets up Mysth for a Suplex but as he lifts the poor soul into the air, he lets go and Mysth lands hard on his head and neck.*
Schiavone : NOOO !! HE KILLED HIM !!
JBL : Guess what, genius ?? THAT' S EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTS TO DO !!!!
*Ivy can' t stand it anymore, she' s even crying for Mysth. She grabs a steel chair.*
Schiavone : Wait a minute, what is she doing ?? Mysth is gonna be eliminated if her or Mysth attacks Crow with this.
Styles : Well I believe she prefers this than to have Mysth keep suffering...
*While Ivy approaches the ring, Mysth is slowly trying to get up and Crow does a throat cutting motion with both oh his arms. He grabs Mysth and sticks his head between his legs and crosses his arms on his chest. He then, in a Pedigree-esque fashion, jumps in the air while locking his hands to the opposites of Mysth' s hands. Then, while in the air, he pulls Mysth' s hands, forcing them into upside down position, which drives him down into a Cross-Arm Sitout Piledriver with extra height !! The crowd falls deathly silent as they see the heroic Mysth fall to the dark Crow. As Mysth lies face down, Crow slowly makes it to his feet and rolls him over. He takes extra care to make sure that Mysth's arms maintain their crossed placement.*
JBL : WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ??!!!
Styles : It must be his finisher !!!
Schiavone : Mysth isn't moving ! He' s motionless in the middle of the ring !!
*At this precise moment, Ivy slides into the ring, ready to attack Crow in the back... but Crow suddenly spins and hits a big boot into the chair and Ivy' s face !! While still looking at the downed Ivy, Crow puts a foot on Mysth' s crossed arms.*
ONE...
TWO...
THREE !!!!
DING DING DING !!
Finkel : ......Here is your winner... Captain Ferhago Crow.
*It' s over and Crow won this match ! The anti-fire system turns on again, the lights flicker then back out for a moment. They finally come back, Crow has disappeared. Ivy got up and is now next to Mysth, looking horrified and short of breath. The medics arrive and take Mysth. Ivy follows them crying and in despair. For a long moment, the three announcers remain completely silent, staring at each other in awe. Joey Styles finally breaks the silence.*
Styles : What on Earth... was... that ??
Schiavone : ...
JBL:
...
Ladies and gentlemen... we have met a monster...
We have met...
Ferhago Crow...
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:14:45 GMT -5
FINKEL: Ladies and gentlemen, please turn your attention towards the stage, as we have a special performance from EWT's newest Superstar...multi-Grammy winner LILY-ROSE!
*Lily walks out to the stage, where a whole bunch of instruments are set up. Behind her walks a bunch of punk looking men, who walk to different instruments. Lily holds her hand up high, and grabs onto a ring mic (Much like Mr. Kennedy's).*
LILY: Hello, EWT!
*mix cheers*
LILY: Now, I know everyone here has a music preference. Some prefer those country musicians we heard sing the National Anthem...but you know what? I'm not a bit country! I'm not the least bit country! I don't wanna country! You know what I want?!
CROWD: WHAT?
i wanna rock! (rock)
*The band begins to play a rendition of something similar to Twisted Sister's "I Wanna Rock".*
i wanna rock! (rock)
i want to rock (rock)
i wanna rock! (rock)
turn it down you say,
well all i got to say to you is time and time again i say, "no!"
no! no, no, no, no, no!
tell me not to play
well, all i got to say to you when you tell me not to play,
i say, "no!"
no! no, no, no, no, no!
so, if you ask me why i like the way i play it
there's only one thing i can say to you
i wanna rock! (rock)
i wanna rock! (rock)
i want to rock (rock)
i wanna rock! (rock)
there's a feelin' that
i get from nothin' else and there ain't nothin' in the world
that makes me go!
go! go, go, go, go, go!
turn the power up
I’ve waited for so long so i could hear my favorite song so,
let's go!
go! go, go, go, go, go!
when it's like this i feel the music shootin' through me
there's nothin' else that i would rather do
i wanna rock! (rock)
i wanna rock! (rock)
i want to rock (rock)
i wanna rock! (rock)
i wanna rock (rock)
rock (rock)
rock (rock)
i wanna rock (rock)
rock (rock)
rock (rock)
i want to rock (rock)
rock (rock)
rock (rock)
i wanna rock (rock)
rock (rock)
rock (rock)
i wanna rock
i wanna rock! (rock)
i wanna rock! (rock)
i want to rock (rock)
i wanna rock! (rock)
i wanna rock (rock)
rock (rock)
rock (rock)
i wanna rock (rock)
rock (rock)
rock (rock)
i want to rock (rock)
rock (rock)
rock (rock)
i wanna rock (rock)
rock (rock)
rock (rock)
i wanna rock
*The song finishes, and the crowd cheers, even giving her a standing ovation. Lily takes a bow, and waves to the crowd as she and her band leave the stage.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:15:26 GMT -5
*We return back to the ring, which is set up with tons of weapons and items dangling from chains over the ring, while an octagon ring sits on the floor. Lillian Garcia is standing outside of the cage, ready to announce the next fight.*
LILLIAN: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall, and will take place inside the FUN House!
*The crowd cheers over this announcement. They soon begin to mix with boos, however, as “Faint” by Linkin Park plays, and Chad Michaels walks out to the arena.*
LILLIAN: Introducing first, now residing in Miami, Florida, weighing in tonight at 246 lbs…He is The Afterparty, the New Age…Chad! MICHAAAAAELS!
*He walks in through the steel cage pane (Which is the only one to have a door), and slides into the ring, to scout out the area, and know what he’s dealing with.*
JR: Well, it looks like Joe Ragnal has given Chad a head start in this match. Michaels is looking around the ring just to see what he’ll be expecting.
JBL: Jim, it won’t matter if you have all the luck in the world, or all the time in the world, nobody can expect anything in this match! Both these competitors have been amazing in their careers in EWT, but this match won’t end until both of them are dead!
*As Chad checks the weapons hanging above the ring, “Violence Fetish” by Disturbed plays as Joe Ragnal walks out, oddly not in his usual energetic mood. Instead, he heads down the ring expressionless while carrying a wooden baseball bat.*
LILLIAN: And his opponent, from Scranton, PA, weighing in at 225 lbs…He is the Innovator of FUN, and the mastermind behind the FUN House…Joe! RAGNAAAAAAL!
*As soon as he walks inside the cage, Joe slides into the ring, and as Chad runs towards him…CRACK!*
JR: Bah GAWD! Not even a second into the match, and already Chad Michaels is down!!!
JBL: Good lord, he beat him harder than a Mexican beating a piñata!
*Joe looks down at Chad, while a trickle of blood can be seen flowing from his head. Rather than just have him sit there, Joe picks Chad up and whips him into a corner. Joe stands on the second turnbuckle standing over Chad, and beats him in the head senselessly. Joe then looks up and grabs a sledgehammer off of the chain. He goes to smash it over Chad’s head…*
JR: I can’t watch!
JBL: You don’t have to, Jim, take a look!
*Chad grabs the sledgehammer at the last second. Wrestling it away from his face, Chad soon overpowers Ragnal by shoving the handle INTO HIS JAW! Joe falls from the turnbuckle onto his back, while grabbing his jaw. Chad has the advantage now, and drives the hammer into Joe’s gut! Chad sits Joe upright, and then places the hammer onto Joe’s shoulders.*
JBL: What the hell is he doing?!
*Making sure the sledgehammer stays in place, he puts his arms under Joe’s for a Full Nelson…while pushing the sledgehammer into his neck!*
JR: Oh dear lord, that could kill Joe! Have a heart, Chad!
JBL: Considering that Synthy broke it already, Jim, I doubt that’s really impossible!
*It takes a minute, but Joe’s fortunate enough to kick at Chad’s legs, forcing him to let go of the lock. Joe, using this time to his advantage, slides out of the ring and over to the Table of FUN. He looks at his options, between the cream pie, a set of skeeballs, seltzer bottle, and cotton candy. Joe, for whatever reason, takes the cotton candy.*
JR: Now why do you suppose he’d take that?
JBL: The boy’s prolly just hungry.
JR: Well, I wouldn’t be too sure. Joe invented this match, Bradshaw, remember that. This basically means Joe has every advantage that he wants.
*Joe slides back into the ring, and shoves the cotton candy into Chad’s face. After a few seconds of dissolvement of the candy, Joe pulls off, and Chad is grabbing his mouth, almost as if he’s hurt. As he pulls his hand away, blood is streaming out of his mouth!*
JBL: What in the hell?! What kind of cotton candy is that?!
*Joe smiles at the downed Chad, and rips the candy off to reveal…a barbwire baseball bat underneath!*
JR: Bah Gawd this is heinous!!
JBL: What are you talking about JR? This is real hardcore wrestling, the kind of stuff you won't see anywhere else!
*Chad spits out some more blood as Joe winds the bat up. Joe starts to take a swing when Chad stops the bat with his bare hands. The barbed wire cuts into Chad's flesh, but Chad manages to wrestle the bat away, pulling Joe in. Chad hits a quick knee to the gut. Joe hunches over as Chad brings the bat high above his head. Chad has a wicked smile on his face as he brings the bat down across Joe's back, causing Joe to scream in pain. Chad Irish whips Joe into the wall side of the cage. Joe stumbles back, allowing Chad to his a modified Forced Suicide, causing Joe's head to bounce into the wall once more.*
JR: These two men are killing each other out there!
JBL: It's all about pride JR. These two men could quit at any time, but they are determined to finish this match.
*Chad gets up, a little groggy but good nonetheless. The same cannot be said for Joe, who is bleeding profusely. His face is covered in blood, a horrifying sight. Chad walks over to Joe and latches in the Cranium Crush, squeezing more blood out of Joe's head. After 7 seconds, the ref runs up to Chad, forcing him to release the hold. Chad gets into the ref's face, yelling at him to mind his business. The ref yells back about protecting Joe, causing a shouting war to erupt. In the mean time, Joe has managed to recover from having his head caved in and is starting to get up. Joe notices the bat near him and picks it up, preparing to do some serious damage. As Joe is about to connect, the ref moves out of the way, causing Chad to notice what's going on behind him. Chad avoids the bat and dropkicks Joe in the back right through the sheetrock pane.*
JBL: They aren't gonna stop until one of them dies.
JR: At the rate they’re going, that won't be too long from now!
*Joe Ragnal, after going through the sheetrock pane, tries to get to his feet, but not before Chad smacks him in the back with a skeeball! Chad then grabs Joe in a headlock and proceeds to slam the ball into Joe’s skull!*
JR: This is insane! Somebody make them stop!
JBL: Are you kidding? This is the most insane violence I’ve seen in my life!
*The camera closes in to show Joe’s blood pouring out of the forehead. Chad then throws the ball into Joe’s head for one last time, and then proceeds to whip Joe into the apron. Joe reverses the whip, and sends Chad back first into the side of the ring. Joe, wiping the blood off his eyes, climbs over the guardrail, and into the audience. Joe makes sure the area is clear, sending the crowd left and right of him.*
JR: Now where the hell’s he going?
*Joe, now with a five row run, shoots towards the ring, leaps over the guardrail…AND SPEARS CHAD INTO THE APRON! The crowd is going out of their mind, shouting out “Holy s***!” as Chad and Joe are out on the floor, both trying to get back to their feet.*
JR: Good god, what a move! Joe Ragnal is pumped tonight!
JBL: Right you are, Jim! If Ragnal can keep up his violence fetish, he’s got Michaels beaten good!
*Joe gets to his feet first, and climbs onto the apron, grabbing a steel chair hanging from over the ring. Waiting for Chad to stand all the way up, Joe runs off the apron, raising the chair over his head… Chad falls back to the ground! Joe, stumbling forward, runs RIGHT INTO THE ELECTRIC FENCE! The lights in the arena flicker until Joe goes flying three feet into the air, falling in front of the announce table. Chad gets right back onto his feet, smiling over at the fallen Innovator. Chad walks over to the FUN Table, and picks up…*
JR: What the…? Is that a joy buzzer?
JBL: When the hell did that get there?
JR: I’m not sure, Bradshaw, but I do remember Joe using it once before against Tony Chang in this exact match.
*Chad, with the buzzer on his hand, heads over to Joe, and with the buzzer hand, grabs Joe’s arm, picking him up while sending thousands of volts through his body! As Joe yells in pain, Chad whips Joe BACK INTO THE ELECTRIC FENCE!*
JR: OH MAH GAWD!
*As Joe finally lets go of the fencing, he falls flat onto the ground. Chad drops a leg on top of Ragnal before going to pin.*
1!
2!
NO!
JBL: For the love of god, JOE IS STILL ALIVE!
*Joe gets his shoulder up, roaring out of sheer pain. Chad’s eyes widen out of surprise, and he decided to continuously kick Joe in the ribs. Chad picks Joe up and whips him into the moonwalk pane. Joe bounces off and into Chad…SPEAR! Joe goes for the pin!*
1!
2!
3…NO!
*Chad kicks out! Joe looks at him in shock, but isn’t going to let it end there. Joe goes over to the Table of FUN and grabs a pie. Placing it down on the ground, Joe picks Chad up and looks to DDT into the pie…Chad shoves Joe off of him! As Joe bounces off of the moonwalk pane, Chad kicks him in the gut…AND HITS A HEARTBREAK INTO THE CREAM PIE! Joe is squirming all over the floor, with not only pie, but strips of barbwire as well!*
JR: Well I’ll be! Joe got a taste of his own medicine!
JBL: You said it, Jim! Not Joe knows how it is to be the final topping on the pie!
*Chad, not willing to lose this opportunity, takes Joe to the steel chains pane. He grabs a sledgehammer from over the ring and slams it into the pane, breaking off a piece of chain. Chad wraps it around Joe’s throat, choking the life out of him! After ten seconds of this, Joe elbows into Chad, soon forcing the chain out of his hands. While Joe falls to the ground semiconscious, Chad picks him up onto his shoulders, and drops him down for the GO 2 SLEEP! Joe falls back into the barbwire caging!*
JBL: We might be witnessing history in the making right here.
JR: We could be witnessing a murder right before our eyes!! Joe Ragnal has been buster open too many times to count, and he has to have lost pints of blood!
*Chad runs over to the moonwalk side, bouncing off before running full force, diving at Joe with a cross body. The wall falls over, sandwiching Joe between the barbed wire and Chad. Joe screams in pain as Chad does the same, barbed wire cutting into his flesh.*
JR: BAH GAWD!!! Chad Michaels just sacrificed his own body just to get the win over Joe Ragnal!!
JBL: That's what you have to do in this type of environment Jimmy. You have to be willing to sacrifice anything and everything to win.
JR: There's a difference between trying to get the win and nearly killing yourself!!
*Chad manages to stand up, the blood flowing from the open wounds on his chest. Joe takes a little longer, ripping his shirt of to get free. Joe stands up and is immediately met with an enziguri, knocking him into the ring. Joe's face is covered in blood as he grabs on to the ropes, trying to pull himself back up. Chad goes for the Lariat from Heaven, but Joe manages to avoid it, sending Chad into the steel cage, injuring his hand in the process. Joe takes advantage and hits a Lungblower out of nowhere, knocking the wind out of Chad. Instead of going for the pin though, Joe sets up a steel chair, preparing some kind of insane stunt. Joe picks Chad up before putting him in position for a DDT, ready to end the match. As Joe goes for the kill shot, Chad wraps his hands around Joe's chest. Chad manages to lift Joe before hitting a Northern Lights Suplex, sending him into the turnbuckle. Chad makes a cutthroat motion, picking up Joe before setting him throat first onto the chair. Chad scales the ropes before leaping off, hitting Joe with the Lung Killer!!*
JR: BAH GAWD!! Joe Ragnal just had his throat crushed with the Lung Killer!!
JBL: Dead JR. Joe Ragnal is dead.
*Joe is lying on the mat, barely breathing. Chad rolls over and drapes an arm over him, trying to end this....*
1!
2!
Thre-NO!!
*Joe Ragnal manages to get the shoulder up at the last minute, shocking everyone from the fans to the announcers to Chad himself. Chad stands up, looking at the carnage that surrounds him. Blood and barbed wire everywhere, chairs and assorted items scattered around, and the cage missing a door, which is lying on the outside. Chad looks up with a small smirk, muttering "I hope you enjoyed this Synthy."*
JBL: Why is he concerned with Synthy Eris anyway? She's the jezebel that broke his heart!!
*Chad picks Joe up, getting smacked with barbed wire for his troubles. Chad falls to the mat, clutching his eye in pain as Joe raises the barbed wire to the delight of the fans. Joe drops the barbed wire before picking Chad up, who's left eye is completely covered in blood. Joe grabs Chad by the head, looking for the FUN Drop. As Joe runs up the turnbuckles, Chad pushes him, causing Joe to crotch himself on the top rope. Chad scales the turnbuckles before hooking both of Joe's arms, leaping off and hitting the Coca-Cola Cliff Drop. Chad turns Joe over before attempting a pin....*
1!
2!
3......!!!
"DING DING DING!!"
LILLIAN: Here is your winner, Chad! MICHAELS!!!
"Faint" begins to play as Chad stands up, looking at the bloody body of Joe Ragnal. Chad mouths the words "This could have been avoided" before exiting the ring to chants of "He's HARDCORE!!" EMT's and road agents rush to the ring to help Ragnal out, which also get the "He's HARDCORE!!" chants.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:16:04 GMT -5
Announcer: This next contest is scheduled for one fall & a special challenge match. Making his way to the ring first is the mighty midget himself, Curly Long. And his opponent at this time, wheeling down to the ring? Well, here is heidendorf!!!
* As heidendorf wheels to the ring, his music stops when suddenly, 4 men drive out on the stage. One wearing a yellow shirt, one wearing a blue shirt, one wearing a red shirt, & one wearing a purple shirt.*
Announcer: And now, allow me to introduce a special musical presentation from not just our guest referees for this contest, but EWT Hall of Famers…The Wiggles!!!!
* As heidendorf is wheeling down to the ring, The Wiggles use this time & sing a musical number while driving in a Big Red Car:*
Toot, toot chugga, chugga big red car, we’ll travel near and we’ll travel far. Toot, toot chugga, chugga big red car, were gonna ride the whole daylong.
Murray’s in the back seat, playing his guitar. Murray’s in the back seat, of the big red car.
Toot, toot chugga, chugga big red car, we’ll travel near and we’ll travel far. Toot, toot chugga, chugga big red car, were gonna ride the whole daylong.
Jeff is fast asleep, his having a little rest. We better wake him up, so lets all call out ‘Wake up Jeff!”
Toot, toot chugga, chugga big red car, we’ll travel near and we’ll travel far. Toot, toot chugga, chugga big red car, were gonna ride the whole daylong.
Anthony is eating, his got so much food. His eating apples and oranges, and fruit salad too!
Toot, toot chugga, chugga big red car, we’ll travel near and we’ll travel far. Toot, toot chugga, chugga big red car, were gonna ride the whole daylong.
Greg is doing the driving, singing “Scooby Doo Wa!” Greg is doing the driving, of the big red car.
Toot, toot chugga, chugga big red car, we’ll travel near and we’ll travel far. Toot, toot chugga, chugga big red car, were gonna ride the whole day long Toot, toot chugga, chugga big red car, we’ll travel near and we’ll travel far. Toot, toot chugga, chugga big red car, were gonna ride the whole daylong!!!
* As The Wiggles get out of their car, a voice is heard from the stage way.*
Hold on a minute, hold on a minute, hold on a minute….STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!
* The camera pans back to the stage where we see Elmo with a microphone.*
Elmo: Elmo’s not happy today. And do you know why Elmo’s not happy today? Because Elmo thinks Elmo should be guest referee here. Elmo does not think The Wiggles should be guest referee’s here. And do you know why? Elmo’s gonna tell you why. Because Elmo lives at Sesame Place, The Wiggles live in Australia. And this isn’t fair to Elmo. Elmo is an icon.
* Meanwhile, a microphone is handed to Greg Wiggle.*
Greg: Hold on Elmo. We Wiggles would never…..*thump*
* Greg Wiggle collapses in the ring. The other Wiggles just look at him & shrug, as Anthony gets the microphone.*
Anthony: Sorry folks. Greg suffers from orthostatic intolerance and is really tired. Now Elmo, we are not trying to steal your spotlight. We are just trying to do what is right. And Elmo, if you want to…this match is all yours. Come on Wiggles.
* The Wiggles pick up Greg & carry him to the back. Elmo makes his way to the ring & climbs in the ring.*
Elmo: Elmo says ring the bell!!!
* As Elmo turns back around, he gets kicked in the crotch area by Curly Long. Curly smacks Elmo in the face & storms out of the ring. Heidendorf is still outside the ring in his wheel chair as Curly grabs the wheel chair & throws it towards the ring steps. Heidendorf flies out of the chair & over the steps, crashing into the barricade. Curly Long storms away from the ring in anger.*
Curly: F*** this garbage!!!
* As we cut backstage.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:16:31 GMT -5
Sum Guy: I’m Sum Guy & with me is Mr. Toom E Dangerously & he likes me.
Toom E: I do?
Sum Guy: Of course you do. That’s why you hired me.
Toom E: I did?
Sum Guy: Now, Toom E…
Toom E: That’s Mr. Dangerously to you.
Sum Guy: Mr. Dangerously, you said last month you had a major announcement for tonight here at Crap-a-mania !!!! What is that announcement?
Toom E: At this moment in time, my announcement is not important. You see, I have some major words to say right now & that’s to Mr. Koda Kazar. Koda barges into my office, crying that he has no matches. He cries that he hasn’t had a match on pay per view for so many months. So what do I do? I give him a match, replacing Merc. And what happens? HE NO SHOWS!!! He dares to have the audacity to mock me & no show the Blandest Stage of Them All.
And jzbadblood, we have a problem here as well. You begged me to come back to EWT. And what do you do? I haven’t seen you around. I haven’t heard from you. NOTHING!!!
Koda, jz…if you DARE step foot in EWT again…prepare to face a life of HELL!!!
Sum Guy: Harsh words. Now, about that major announcement?
Toom E: Look, I have things to do.
* Toom E storms off but comes back into frame real quick.*
Wait…I don’t recall hiring you at all. Who hired you?
* And we cut back to ringside where the steel cage is set up.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:17:24 GMT -5
Announcer: The following contest is a Steel Cage, Falls-Count-Anywhere Match, scheduled for one fall! The rules are as follows: The two combatants will be locked inside the steel cage. There will be no pinfalls or submissions inside the cage; you must escape the cage. However, when both combatants escape the cage, the match will become a Falls Count Anywhere match!
"Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See" plays as Rick Raskall and his entourage appear on the stage, receiving massive boos.
Announcer: Introducing first, from Los Angeles, California, weighing 209 pounds, RICK...RASKALL!!
Raskall surveys the cage as he stand on the stage. Then, in an unusual move, he orders his entourage back to the backstage area. The Plebes and servant girls obey him, despite their surprise that Raskall wishes to go it alone. Even though his eyes are hidden behind $650 sunglasses, it's clear that Raskall is intimidated by the structure and by the 300-pound beast out for his blood that will be locked in there with him. He enters the cage as a "Truuuuunk's gonna kiiiiiill you" chant wavers through the crowd.
Announcer: And his opponent...
"For Those Who Fight Further" plays as Marcus Trunk enters to a huge reception, spreading his arms and roaring to the crowd. He goes to the middle of the stage, and pounds his fists on the stage as the white pyro blasts behind him.
Announcer: From Detroit, Michigan, weighing in at 310 pounds, MARCUS...TRUNK!!
Trunk cracks his knuckles and grins maniacally at Raskall, who is now sporting a look of determination. Trunk enters the steel cage, and is now standing a mere ten feet away from Raskall. The bell rings.
Suddenly, Trunk breaks into a laugh. A crazy, hysterical laugh. Raskall is confused, but at the same time afraid. Trunk continues to laugh, as he stalks Raskall around the ring. Raskall scrambles out of the path of the rampaging monster, only to eventually be grabbed by Trunk and hoisted into the air. Trunk presses Raskall above his head and runs toward the cage wall, but Raskall slips out before his head is rammed into the steel. Trunk stops himself before he meets the cage himself. He turns around and runs into a Raskall dropkick, which merely staggers the rock-solid Trunk. Trunk charges back and drills Raskall with a clothesline, knocking Raskall off his feet.
Trunk picks up Raskall and attempts to toss him into the cage wall, but Raskall stops himself short, and elbows Trunk in the head. He grabs Trunk's head to ram it into the cage, but Trunk counters. Trunk then grabs Raskall and whips him to the ropes. He tosses Raskall over his head right at the cage, but instead of crashing into the cage, Raskall grabs onto the steel mesh like Spiderman, then springs off the top rope and moonsaults onto Trunk!
Raskall gets to his feet, suddenly feeling more confident. He wipes his foot across Trunk's face, then reaches down and slaps him upside the head. Raskall rolls his eyes at the ease that he is having with Trunk. He runs to the ropes and hits a flipping senton, but Trunk gets his knees up, and Raskall lands back first onto them. Raskall grabs his back in pain, as Trunk gets to his feet. He stalks Raskall from behind, then scoops him up and tosses him right into the cage wall! Trunk grabs Raskall again and throws him into the opposite wall! As Raskall stumbles back towards Trunk, Trunk puts Raskall in a powerbomb position. He runs at the cage wall and slams his back into it, then again, and again, and again, then whips around and plants Raskall with a Sitout powerbomb!
Raskall writhes about in pain on the mat, as Trunk gets to his feet to surmise the damage he has done. He goes to the corner and contemplates climbing out, but then he looks back at Raskall, deciding that he has to inflict a little more pain on his former partner. He picks up Raskall and attempts to slam his face into the cage wall. But Raskall gets his foot up on the rope, elbows Trunk in the face, then manages to spring off the ropes and catch Trunk in the face with a leg lariat, which staggers Trunk. Raskall struggles to his feet as Trunk comes charging at him, but Raskall drop-toeholds him face first into the cage. As Trunk stumbles backwards, Raskall hops up and plants Trunk with a tornado DDT.
Both men are lying on the canvas, as the fans wait for the first sign of life from the combatants. Trunk begins to stir as Raskall drags himself to his feet. Seeing an opportunity to escape, Raskall begins to climb up the turnbuckle and up the cage. But Trunk has gotten to his feet, and chases after Raskall. He pounds on Raskall's back, stopping his ascent up the cage. He then climbs up after Raskall, until both of them are standing on the top turnbuckle. Trunk pounds Raskall on the back a couple more times, then he locks his arms around Raskall's waist, and hits Trunk Buster #3 from the top rope!
With Raskall down and out from the move, Trunk decides that it's time to exit the cage. He makes his way up the steel structure, struggling all the way. But as he nears the top, Raskall gets to his feet and starts chasing after Trunk. Eventually, both men are clinging to the top of the cage, and are exchanging blows to the face. Trunk slams Raskall's face into the cage, making Raskall wobble slightly, but he still hangs on. Raskall returns the favor and slams Trunk's head into the cage. Then, while hanging on for dear life, Raskall manages to kick Trunk in the back of the head. Trunk's eyes roll back in his head as he loses his grip and crashes to the mat. Raskall, realizing his opportunity, climbs his way to the top of the cage. But instead of climbing down and escaping, he looks down at his fallen former partner, and a smirk spreads across his face. He positions himself in the corner of the cage in a crouching position, and in a moment of sheer grace, flies off the top of the cage, crashing down on Trunk with the Raskall House Special!
The crowd chants "HOLY S***! HOLY S***!" as Raskall and Trunk lie in the middle of the ring. One of the referees on the outside comes in through the door to check on them, but neither will give up the fight. As the ref exits the ring, Raskall grabs him by the pants cuff. He manages to pull himself up to his feet, and the ref offers him assistance. But Raskall instead grabs the ref by the head and slams him into the cage, as the crowd boos him relentlessly. Raskall nods his head and begins to grow more confident. Seeing Trunk struggle to his feet, Raskall decides to go high-risk and springboards off the middle rope. But Trunk catches him with one arm and runs across the ring, ramming him into the cage! Raskall slumps to the mat.
Trunk takes a moment to collect himself, before attempting to climb the cage again. He struggles with each step up, giving time for Raskall to recover. When Raskall gets to his feet, Trunk is only standing on the top rope gripping the cage. Raskall pounds away on Trunk's back, but Trunk tries to fight through the pain and keep a firm grip on the cage wall. But in a last-ditch effort, Raskall grabs Trunk's shoulders, leaps up, and delivers a huge Lungblower! Trunk falls off the cage, and staggers around the ring holding his back and crying out in agony. With Trunk vulnerable, Raskall hops up on Trunk's shoulders from behind, locking his legs around Trunk's head, and manages to lock in the Whole Damn Nelson! Trunk tries to fight his way out of the hold, but he's simply wearing himself out, as Raskall has managed to cinch the hold in tight. Trunk falls to the mat, still trapped in the hold, as Raskall screams at Trunk to give up. Finally, Trunk's limbs go limp, as he falls unconscious to the hold. Raskall unlocks the Whole Damn Nelson, as a close-up of Trunk reveals a trickle of blood oozing from his forehead. Raskall notices the blood dripping from Trunk's head, as he leans down and wipes the blood off, then smacks Trunk in the face. He then mounts Trunk and punches away at his forehead, opening the wound even more, until Trunk's face is a crimson mask. Satisfied with his work, Raskall once again goes about the task of escaping the cage.
Raskall is still weary from the vast amount of effort in locking Trunk in the Whole Damn Nelson, so he once again has difficulty climbing the cage. As he nears the top, Trunk rolls over and pushes himself up to his feet. He staggers toward the cage. Raskall turns around and rolls his eyes in disbelief. He then tries to put all his energy into climbing the cage, but Trunk won't have any of it, as he reaches up and grabs Raskall's leg. But Raskall kicks Trunk in the head, forcing him to release his leg, and climbs to the top of the cage. But Trunk persists, and continues to climb up after Raskall. Raskall is perched on the top of the cage, while Trunk is standing on the top rope. Raskall reaches down and punches Trunk in the head, but Trunk does not let go. Despite the danger involved in the move, Raskall goes for a desperation move: a sunset flip powerbomb off the cage. But Trunk catches Raskall mid-move, grabbing his leg and leaving him hanging upside-down in mid-air! With Raskall dangling in a precocious position, Trunk clutches Raskall's head and leaps off the top rope, driving Raskall into the mat with a modified Air Raid Crash! The crowd explodes again!!
Trunk is convulsing slightly as a "THIS IS AWESOME" chant rips throughout the arena. He is the first one to drag himself to his feet as he picks up Raskall and scoops him onto his shoulder. After taking a few seconds to catch his breath, Trunk runs across the ring and lawn-darts Raskall into the cage wall! Raskall crumples to the apron. Trunk drags Raskall to his feet and positions him facing the cage wall. He then backs up to the other side of the ring, and runs right at Raskall, planting his boot right in the back of Raskall's head and smashing him between his foot and the cage! Raskall collapses as his face is now completely red with blood.
While Raskall is completely down and out, Trunk makes another attempt at climbing the cage. Every single step up the cage seems to take more energy out of him. Just as he nears the top, Raskall pulls himself up. Now it's Trunk's turn to look on in disbelief. Trunk continues to climb the cage, as Raskall climbs up alongside him. Eventually both men make it to the top of the cage. They stand atop the 15-foot-high structure, faces covered in blood, with a gleam of hatred in their eyes. They both know now that the one who is not sure afoot is destined to take a dive to the mat, or possibly, the floor beneath them.
Raskall reaches back and punches Trunk. Trunk responds with a punch of his own. Raskall punches back. The two exchange punches at the top of the cage as the crowd chants "OH!" with every blow. Finally, Raskall throws a punch, but Trunk blocks it, and clubs Raskall on the back. He then puts Raskall between his legs and hoists him up into a powerbomb position! The crowd gasps as Raskall hangs 25 feet above the ring with nothing to support him but the man whom he violently turned on and bloodied only two months earlier. A punch to the head makes no difference as to the inevitable, as Trunk dives off the top of the cage...
CRASHING THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!!
A somewhat hushed chant of "Please don't die!" wavers through the crowd as Raskall and Trunk lie among the remains of the announce table. Trainers, EMTs, referees come down to the scene.
After a few moments, Trunk is helped to his feet, to a good round of applause. The trainers begin to escort him to the back. But Trunk will have none of it, as the match has yet to be decided.
Raskall is also being helped to his feet with the assistance of trainers. Trunk turns around and spies his opponent getting up. Feeling re-energized, he charges at Raskall and tackles him to the floor, taking several trainers with him! He pounds away at Raskall, as the trainers are forced to clear the scene as the match is still continuing. Trunk then drags Raskall to his feet, but Raskall delivers a low blow kick, sending Trunk crumpling to the floor. The crowd continues to boo as Raskall shoves the ring announcer aside and grabs his chair. As Trunk struggles to right himself, Raskall winds up and cracks the chair across his back, causing Trunk to yell out in pain. With Trunk stumbling about, Raskall charges into Trunk and slams him into the cage. Raskall rears back and charges at Trunk again, but Trunk recovers in time to wrap his arms around Raskall and hit an overhead belly-to-belly suplex, sending Raskall into the cage! Raskall hits the floor with a thud.
Trunk has bought himself some time to recover, as Raskall is lying on the floor in a heap. Suddenly, an idea pops up in Trunk's head. He goes over to the steel steps and removes the top step. The referee futile tells him not to do it, but he tosses the step aside and goes back for Raskall. He hoists Raskall into position for the Puncture Press! While holding Raskall on his shoulder, he goes up onto the steel steps, and then, with a mighty roar, jumps off, cracking Raskall's back across the steel with the Puncture Press!!
Raskall is lying on the floor in a state of complete agony, his back torn to shreds due to the brutality of the match. Trunk drags himself over to the fallen Raskall and drapes his arm over him.
1....
2....
...KICKOUT!!
Raskall musters up all of his energy to kick out after the devastating move. Trunk can't believe it, as he picks up Raskall to inflict more punishment. But Raskall rakes Trunk's eyes, temporarily blinding him and giving him some time to recover. Raskall stumbles over to where he dropped the steel chair, and picks the weapon up. He turns around and delivers a shot to the head of Trunk, which staggers the big man. Raskall winds up and plants another chair shot onto Trunk's head, dropping him to the floor.
Raskall decides that he's had enough, and climbs over the barricade to escape any more punishment. The crowd boos Raskall's attempt to walk out on the match. Trunk pulls himself to his feet, and asks the referee where Raskall went. The ref points out Raskall who is in the crowd, and is just heading out the exit. Trunk climbs the barricade and follows after Raskall.
Mike Tenay: Trunk is heading towards the back! We've got to get a camera back there!
Don West: Hurry man, hurry!
When Trunk has finally made it through the exit door, Raskall is nowhere to be found. Various EWT stars and a few scattered Muppets are terrified to see this hulking, bleeding behemoth stalking through the hallway.
Trunk: RASKALL! WHERE ARE YOU?!
Just then, two of Raskall's Plebes appear in front of him, blocking his path. Trunk stares them down, until the other two Plebes jump him from behind, knocking him to the ground. They stomp away at the defenseless Trunk. But when it seems like Trunk is completely helpless, Rhino comes charging onto the scene! He decks the Plebes one by one with punches, then drags them away as Trunk manages to get to his feet. Rhino and Trunk fend off the Plebes, with Rhino tossing one of them up against a concrete wall. Trunk punches one of the Plebes in the head, knocking him dizzy. Rhino is right behind him, crouching in position for the Gore! He charges at the unfortunate Plebe...
...AND GORES HIM STRAIGHT THROUGH THE DRYWALL!!
Unfortunately, this also takes Rhino out of the equation, but the Plebes have been subdued. What Trunk doesn't see is Raskall perched up on a scaffold several feet above him. Raskall leaps off, hitting a cross body block on Trunk from the top fo the scaffold! The referee rushes in to make the count!
1....
2....
...KICKOUT!!
A look of pain and anguish appears on Raskall's bloody red face, as he clutches his back in agony. He still has not put his opponent away.
Raskall stumbles down the corridor, again trying to escape. But Trunk is right behind him, and grabs him by the hair, dragging him down the hall.
Raskall goes flying through the door into the parking lot, as Trunk follows. Raskall finally begs off and tells Trunk that he gives in and wants no more punishment, but Trunk yells "THIS AIN'T NO 'I QUIT' MATCH!!" and pulls Raskall to his feet, and tosses him hard against a car.
Trunk spies a large and exquisite limousine across the lot. He drags Raskall towards the limo, yelling "THIS YOUR CAR? THIS YOUR CAR?" and slams his head against the hood. He then climbs up on the hood of the limo, dragging Raskall with him. They are now standing on the roof of the limo. Trunk winds up for a punch, but Raskall gets in a thumb to the eye. He then kicks Trunk in the gut, doubling him over. Raskall grabs Trunk's head and puts it between his legs, attempting to set up a piledriver! Raskall lifts with all his might, but the weight of Trunk and the torture that his back has endured is just too much, as he can't lift Trunk off his feet.
Trunk clubs away at Raskall, forcing him to release the piledriver attempt. Raskall goes for a desperation punch, but Trunk blocks it, and grabs Raskall around the throat! Trunk pulls Raskall's face in close and yells "IT'S OVER!!!" as he hoists Raskall onto his shoulders for a powerbomb! Raskall is completely helpless, as Trunk finishes him off, by power bombing Raskall right through the sunroof!! Glass shatters as Raskall crashes through the top of the limo!
Trunk climbs down from the roof, then opens the door, climbs in, and makes a cover.
1....
2....
...3!!
Trunk falls out of the limo and collapses onto the ground, completely worn out and drained of energy, but he has finally gotten his hands on his betrayed partner and beaten him. EMTs appear on the scene, helping Trunk out of the arena and attempting to rescue Raskall. Raskall is completely knocked out and not moving inside the limo.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:17:55 GMT -5
The Fink: "The following contest is the I Surrender match! The only way to win is for the contestant's representative to wave the white flag!"
(The crowd begins to cheer in anticipation, because I'm writing this and I say that's what they're doing. In fact, they're doing the wave! Ha! Anyway, here's who's who.)
The Fink: "Introducing first, coming to the ring with his representative Jason Jupiter, from San Diego California and weighing in tonight at 219lbs...............JACK JUPITER!"
("Ain't Coming Home" begins to play and Jack comes out from the back, followed by Jason carrying a white flag. Jason gives his cousin a slap on the back for encouragement as they walk down the ramp and enter the ring. Jack hops up on the turnbuckles and raises his arms up as the crowd boos him.)
The Fink: "And his opponent, coming to the ring with PsyToni Tennille and The Daryl Dragon, from Portland Oregon and weighing in at 242lbs, he is the King of the EWT..................Ultimo Chocula!"
("Stripsearch" comes on and the crowd turns to cheer their king on. Tennille comes out first followed by Daryl with the flag and they wave to the crowd. Finally Ultimo comes out from the back wearing his Super Rad crown and a brand new white sparkly cape. He stands between his two comrades and spreads his cape out showing off his brand spanking new white tights with a purple and gold crown on the crotch, white pads, white boots, and purple & gold striped socks hiked up to his knees. The three head down to the ring to a "IT'S GOOD TO BE THE KING!" chant and they enter the ring. Ultimo gives Jack the hairy eyeball and points to his crown, then points at Jack and gives him the thumbs down. Ultimo disrobes and consults The Captain and Tennille while Jack stands in his corner and consults Jason. The bell rings and the two competitors circle one another.
The two men lock up and Ultimo gives Jack an arm ringer and walks around the ring with him. Jack rolls and flips his way out and reverses so now he's got the arm ringer on UC. UC tries to flip and roll out but when he stands up Jack is still in control.........so he just pops Jack in the face. Jack lets go and checks to see if his nose is bleeding which gives UC the opening he needs to put Jack in a side headlock, which Jack pushes out of and drops down as UC jumps over and gets hiptossed by Jack on the way back. Jack locks in an armbar but UC stands up and sends Jack into the ropes, drops down, and sends Jack flying with a monkey flip. Jack stands back up only to get clotheslined back down again. Jack stands up again and sees UC coming and quickly he raises his knee into UC's gut, flipping him onto his back. Jack hits the ropes and lands a Senton across UC's stomach and stands back up to gloat to the fans. Jack picks UC up, measuring him, and gives him a big chop across the chest. Jack chops UC again and turns to Jason for approval. Jack sends UC into the ropes but he's reversed and he catches a dropkick right on the button. The crowd pops as UC picks Jack up punches him several times in the mush, followed by a discuss clothesline that sends Jack crashing to the canvas and crawling over to the turnbuckles to check to see if he's bleeding. UC sees Jack crouching in the corner and he goes over to the ropes. He slingshots himself over the top rope and lands on the ring apron, giving Jack a dropkick right in the face. Jack rolls into the center of the ring and UC goes back into the ring. He puts Jack in a Rat Trap facing Jason and taunts both Jupiters, asking if he wants to wave the flag. Jason says some discouraging words at UC as he applies the hold on Jack. Jack begins to stand up with UC on his back and he falls backwards, crushing UC and breaking the hold.
Jack gets up to his feet and measures UC. UC turns and Jack gives him an Inverted Atomic Drop followed by a clothesline. Jack sends UC into the ropes and UC goes for a Spinning Heel Kick but Jack ducks and UC crashes to the mat. UC stands up but Jack gives him a Back Suplex Eddie Guerrero style. UC holds the back of his noggin as Jack picks him up and applies an Abdominal Stretch facing Tennille and Dragon, telling them to wave the flag. They both refuse as Jack grinds his elbow into UC's ribcage. Jack gives UC a Fallaway Slam and hops back up to talk trash to Dragon, which is refuted with a hat remark. Jack stomps on UC a couple of times and picks him up for a Uranage but UC elbows his way out and hits the ropes only to be taken down by Jack with a Power slam. Jason shouts instructions to Jack from the outside which Jack follows. He places UC on the top rope and climbs up with him for a Superplex but UC blocks it and punches Jack in the stomach. Jack lets go and he's shoved off the top rope by UC and he crashes to the mat. Jack stumbles back up to his feet but his back is turned so he doesn't see UC leap off the top rope and blast him with a Bison Stomp. Both men hit the mat and lay there as the crowd cheers for whoever they feel like.
UC is up first and he punches Jack three times and sends him into the ropes, blasting him with a Flying Forearm. Jack stumbles back up his feet and attempts a clothesline but UC ducks it, grabs Jack's head from behind and pulls his back down on his knee. UC pulls his knee pad down and cracks Jack's skull with a Demento Knee drop and follows that up by picking Jack up and sending him into the turnbuckles chest first. Jack stumbles out and UC hits the ropes but Jack elbows UC in the face. UC hits the mat and uses the ropes to stand back up as Jack hits the ropes and leaps with a flying cross body block but UC catches him and simply dumps Jack down to the concrete floor. Jack stands up as UC signals to the crowd, who all respond with "DUN! DUN! DUUUUUN!!!!" in unison. UC hits the ropes and flies over the top rope but Jack ducks it and UC sails right over the guardrail and into the audience with a loud crash. The crowd begins to chant "HOLY S***!" as Jack rolls back into the ring to catch his breath. The first four rows are all standing above UC but they all stop chanting as the referee comes over and immediately motions for the EMT's to get down there. Soon Tennille and Dragon make their way over and Tennille claps her hands over her mouth in shock as Dragon takes the flag and waves it front of the referee to signal that it's over.)
The Fink: "Here is your winner..............JACK JUPITER!"
(Jason Jupiter gets into the ring to raise Jack's hand as Jack looks on in shock, wondering what the hell just happened. They both look at the mass of people to take a look at UC but they can't see past Dragon, Tennille, the ref, and about four EMT's. Jack raises his arms as "Ain't Coming Home" comes on and he celebrates in the ring with Jason, mounting the turnbuckles and slapping himself in the chest. He and Jason slap fives and they head back to the locker room.
Meanwhile the EMT's continue to check on UC as Dragon and Tennille stand by worried about the welfare of their partner. After several tense moments they take UC away on a stretcher as the crowd give him a standing ovation.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:18:22 GMT -5
* We cut backstage Todd Grisham outside a locker room. Todd knocks on the door. A voice is heard from behind it.*
Come in.
Todd Grisham: Excuse me oceanic, but I do not wish to be rude & interrupt your preparations.
Oceanic: What is it?
Todd: Your match tonight has been cancelled.
Oceanic: What? How could you do this to me at this time?
Todd: This is not my fault, but it is being done to be fair to you. You see, Virus has been involved in some sort of accident. We have yet to receive word on what kind of accident or if everything is Ok. But, they have asked me to pass the word to…
Oceanic: Get out!
Todd: Are you Ok? Do you need anything?
Oceanic: GET OUT….NOW!!!
* Todd staggers out as the door is slammed behind him. Ron Simmons walks into frame…*
Ron Simmons: DAMN!
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:18:53 GMT -5
Finkel: ..The following match is scheduled for one fall..
*The angle cuts to a side stage where we find the members of the legendary band: Alice In Chains. Jerry Cantrell begins the opening guitar riff to The Draugr's theme music "We Die Young" as the arena lights dim to complete darkness, save for a red spotlight upon the band and another upon the entry way. As a fog effect rolls out, a sleek, black Hearst is soon seen making a slow drive down to the ring. Surrounding it are various iconic horror characters, acting as something of a "secret service". Standing upon the Hearst are the four members of The Draugr.
All of them dressed in white attire..each of them covered in some type of red liquid, it's spattered all over them, even their faces. All wearing match, bright yellow, cat like eye contacts. The Hearst arrives beside the ring as the four ghouls climb down and enter the squared circle..*
Finkel: At a combined weight of 460 pounds..being accompanied by Corpse and Karma..representing The Draugr..Ghost Face and Wraith!
Joey: Well, this encounter has been brewing for sometime now. For reasons, unknown to anyone, The Draugr have seemingly targeted The Wrestle Posse for destruction.
JBL: ..They NEED a reason to want to destroy The Wrestle Posse?
Joey: Not only did these three recruit their newest member, Karma, against her will..it turns out she's actually Axel's sister! And just a few weeks ago, she placed a noose around her own brother's neck and allowed him to be hung!
JBL: Whatever relationship they had is DEAD! Just like the rest of these freaks. They are in the possession of her very soul.
Joey: Not if Axel has anything to say about it!
*The opening rift for “Young, Dumb, and Ugly” as the crowd openly cheers for the Wrestle Posse. But after about half a minute, the music dies down and the arena goes pitch black. All eyes focus as the Toomitron lights up.*
Axel: I really don't see what the point of seeing Grindhouse before our match was. Care to explain?
*The frame focuses on a Jobby that seems to face devoid of color.*
Jobby: ...I don't think I'll ever sleep again....
Axel: *sigh* Well this is was just perfect for morale!
*He notices the sky then questioningly looks at Jobby.*
Axel: Why does the sky look so dark?
Jobby: I'm not sure.
Axel: *voice becoming stern* What time is it?!
*Jobby looks at his Swatch Watch.*
Jobby: ....
Axel: WHAT?!
Jobby: You'll be mad.
Axel: *shrill* No, I won't... NOW TELL ME WHAT TIME IT IS!!!! CAN WE MAKE OUR MATCH?!
Jobby: Promise?
Axel: YES DAMMIT!
Jobby: Well... I think we'll be late.
Axel: HOW LATE?!
Jobby: Well, we're about two hours late right now....
Axel: WHAT?! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?!
Jobby: *looking at newspaper* Oh, see.... I confused Vacancy's time with Grindhouse's time...
Axel: We're DEAD! You know that, right?! WE ARE GOING TO MISS CRAP-A-MANIA !!!! !
Jobby: Don't worry, Axel! There's still a way to make it on time!
Axel: You just said we are two hours late!
*Jobby unlocks his prized DeLorean and sits in the car.*
Jobby: Time is no object.
*He flicks a few switches and turns a few dials.*
Axel: WHAT?!
Jobby: Just trust me. Get in.
Axel: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, WE'RE LATE?!
Jobby: Have I ever let you down before?
Axel: Do we have another two hours?
Jobby: I'll free you.
Axel: Huh?
Jobby: In my contract, I have the ability to become a singles wrestler at anytime.
Axel: WHAT?! YOU MEAN YOU HAVE HAD THIS THE WHOLE TIME?!
Jobby: If I can not make it to the arena on time for our match, then I'll release you.
Axel: *getting in to the passenger side, while pulling the door down to close his side* How the hell did you get so many clauses?
Jobby: I wished for them for Christmas!
Axel: Ugh....
*Jobby pulls the door down then starts the car. Axel, looking at all the switches & gears that Jobby messed with, notices that the clock shows the time to be about a half minute after the match. Instantly, Jobby peals out of the empty parking lot and down the road towards the arena near by.*
Axel: I don't see how this is going to work....
Jobby: Simple, we are going to go through the time stream to make it to our match.
Axel: WHAT?!
Jobby: Almost there! Get your side belt on!
Axel: HEY! WAIT!!!
*They narrowly miss a car as they drive through a red light.*
Axel: ARE YOU CRAZY?! YOU'RE GOING TO GET US KILLED!!!
Jobby: I can't stop, I got to keep our current speed.
Axel: DON'T TELL ME YOU ARE DEPENDING ON AN 80s MOVIE TO SAVE US?!
Jobby: *without a beat* Who are you to doubt the 80s?
Axel: ....We're screwed.....
*Jobby drifts into the parking lot and zooms past the full lot as the main event is just about to end. He quickly turns into the arena as he narrowly hits a few stage crew members.*
Axel: DUDE, YOU ARE GOING TO KILL SOMEONE!!!
Jobby: I got it make it to 88 miles per hour!
Axel: ....I hope you are kidding....
Jobby: Hmm.... I think that we need to show everyone just what happened to us and why we are late when he make it in time for our match!
Axel: If we are REALLY going back, why don't we-
Jobby: Make a tape then of us then we promise to go back in time earlier than we are coming now so that everyone will know what happened. Of course we'll have to use my Phone Booth.
Axel: ....THAT'S NOT EVEN BACK TO THE FUTURE!!!
Jobby: Almost there!
Axel: Huh?
*He turns away from him to the windshield.*
Axel: WE'RE GOING TO HIT THE STAGE!!!! STOP, OKAY I GET IT!!!! YOU DON'T HAVE TO KILL IT TO MAKE A POINT!!!!
Jobby: I think we should have a camera outside to capture this... Along with having all the objects move in front of us to a break-a-way glass thing. Wouldn't that be totally awesome? Let's promise to do that too.
Axel: WILL YOU STO-
*The camera switches to a view that captures the DeLorean going about 87. Just about 20 feet from the stage it lights up and gets covered in light. In a flash, the DeLorean disappears as an unnatural wind howls and papers fly everywhere. A line of two flames are left on the where the DeLorean was. The arena lights up and the crowd looks around, confused*
Joey: Well, frankly I'm confused.
JBL: I think m-
*In a flash, the set has been replaced with a glass that reads “WRESTLE POSSE!” The crowd clamors in excitement as they see the surprising happening.*
Schiavone: Where did that come from?
JBL: I THINK TH-
*The glass shatters as a DeLorean covered in ice smashes through it. The crowd pops for the surprise entrance of the DeLorean. The two doors open as “Young, Dumb, and Ugly” starts up again. The cheers for Jobby only get louder.*
Finkel: And their opponents.... From Jobstown, NJ & Modesto, CA respectively... Weighting in at 498... "The Wrestle Posse"! Tenacious J And A!
*Axel and Jobby emerge from the DeLorean. Axel looking rather confused at all that has happened while Jobby looks at him with an “I told you so!”. They quickly make it down the ramp, as Jobby high fives to different crowd members. Axel finally gets a game face on by taking off his jacket then his shades. The two enter the ring while the Draugr member eye them, not impressed with the entrance. Without much discussion, Jobby rolls into the ring to meet Wraith who is already in the ring.*
JBL: AND FINALLY THIS MATCH STARTS!
*As the bell rings, Jobby and Wraith begin the match, the two circling one another. They lock up but neither man is able to get much momentum, the green haired Draugr member glaring at his more colorful opponent. They go to lock up again, but this time Wraith slips behind him and goes for a waist lock. Jobby is able to use his size advantage to grab a wrist and crank it into an Arm Wringer. Wraith is able to roll through, slap an Arm Wringer onto Jobby that flips him onto his back, then proceeds to grind a knee into the joint.*
JBL: The Draugr simply enjoying hurting people and anyone deserves to be hurt...It's Jobby McJobberston.. *saying the name with disgust*
*Jobby is soon able to make his way to his feet where he Clothesline's Wraith to the mat. Jobby proceeds to whip Wraith off the ropes and takes him down with a Steamboat-Esque armdrag. His moment of wrestling clarity is short lived however. Wraith stumbles into a corner and Jobby positions himself for a three point stance..takes off charging..but proceeds to fall short, landing flat on his face. The fans provide the appropriate chant. Wrath doesn't hesitate for a moment and begins to stomp Jobby relentlessly. Wraith applies a modified Short Arm Scissors, cranking the hold. Slowly, Jobby is able to roll onto his knee's, the hold still applied. Amazingly, he shows a display of power by rising to his feet, with Wraith now sitting upon one of his shoulders! Jobby turns around, thinking what to do next, and receives a Missile Drop Kick right to the gut, from the top, by Ghost Face. Jobby falls to his back and Wraith rolls away..
Ghost Face takes a moment to taunt Axel which enrages him enough to try to get into the ring. The referee cuts him off and The Draugr make a blind tag, before laying some stomps into Jobby*
Joey: Axel is going to have to try and keep his emotions in check as The Draugr will play every head game they can!
*Wraith applies a Camel Clutch and Ghost Face climbs to the middle rope. He dives off, bringing both of his feet into Jobby's face, creating a loud "SMACK". He rolls into a cover..
..One..
..Two..
..A kick out!
Ghost Face continues his assault with a Standing Moonsault. He attempts to whip Jobby into the turnbuckle but the man from Jobstown NJ, reverses. Ghost Face nimbly leaps onto the middle rope and when Jobby rushes forward, he dives off with a Mushroom Stomp that crashes his head into the turnbuckle pad. Ghost makes a quick tag back to Wraith. Wraith takes a wild martial arts style kick to Jobby's head but he ducks. Wraith attempts one to the body but Jobby snags the foot underneath his arm and pushes Wraith onto his back. He goes for a big elbow drop but his opponent rolls away. Wraith springs to his feet and hits a nasty kick to Jobby's shoulder, Jobby upon his knee's, staggering him backwards. Jobby is hit with another kick to the arm, stumbling him into the ropes, and drawing some "OOH'S" from the audience due to the sound. A whip into the ropes is reversed by Jobby and when Wraith heads back his way he attempts a Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker. Wraith manages to land on his feet and in one fluid motion applies a Fujiwara Armbar. Wraith cranks back and Jobby slowly wiggles to the ropes, draping a foot across the bottom one.*
Wraith punishes that arm with kicks and punches as Jobby attempts to rise to his feet. Wraith looks to hit a Russian Leg Sweep, but Jobby elbows his way free. Undaunted, Wraith tries again but this time Jobby Hip Tosses his way out. Once Wraith springs back up, Jobby boots him in the gut, hauls him up, and spikes him with a Delorean Driver! Both men are sprawled out and Jobby looks to make the tag to Axel who has his hand extended through the ropes. Just as Jobby is about to make the tag, Axel is yanked off the apron, landing on his feet. Axel pulls back his fist but pauses when he realizes it's his sister Karma who did it. Karma screams at Axel to hit her but he hesitates. The Referee is watching the siblings on the outside so he is unaware of both Corpse and Ghost Face entering the ring. Corpse lifts Jobby into a wheel barrel position and hoists him off the mat. While doing so, Ghost Face run's the ropes and snag his opponent's head into a DDT position. Both men drop to a seated position, driving the Jobby's face straight into the canvas. Corpse slides from the ring and Ghost Face hooks a leg..*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:19:24 GMT -5
Joey: The Draugr have just hit that devastating maneuver they call the "Dusk Requiem", with the ILLEGAL member, and Axel is just noticing!
JBL: The Draugr always have the numbers advantage and their using it right now!
*..One..
..Two..
.....No, Jobby get's a shoulder up! The crowd begins to clap and stomp, trying to rally Jobby on. Ghost Face gives Jobby a few kicks to the head, looking generally unimpressed with him. He simply tosses Jobby through the middle ropes and to the outside. Ghost Face slides out onto the apron and waits for Jobby to return to his feet..and when he does..he leaps off, catching him with a Tornado DDT right onto the unforgiving, unprotected floor! All four members rush onto Jobby like vultures, parting his hands from his face, staring at his now blood soaked face. Axel simply watches on the apron, gripping the ropes tightly, seething and waiting to get into the ring. Ghost Face and Wraith roll the limp Jobby into the ring and Ghost Face rests a knee onto his throat, a cover.
...One...
...Two...
....Another kick out!*
Joey: You have to give it up to Jobby for being able to take such a beating but he has GOT to make a tag if he wants to walk out of Crap-A-Mania a winner!
*Ghost Face scowls down at Jobby and tags Wraith into the match. Jobby rises to his knee's..just in time for Wraith to nearly boot his head off with a Spectre Kick. Wraith doesn't go for the cover, simply watching Jobby in his wounded state. He drags up Jobby by his medium length hair, allowing the blood to cover his finger tips. He holds Jobby like that and receives a punch to the gut. And another. Wraith retaliates by driving a knee into Jobby's skull, dropping him as he falls onto a single knee. Wraith rushes off the ropes but Jobby unexpectedly catches him with a Belly to Belly Suplex, tossing him over his head! Wraith lands on his head and neck area, crashing in a heap. The crowd's rallying for Jobby begins to pick up as both men go for their respective tags. ..Wraith makes a tag to Ghost Face who hurriedly tries to stop the tag from happening..but to no avail! Axel is finally tagged into the match to a huge ovation!
Halaway dives onto Ghost Face with a Lou Thez Press, driving right hands into his face. When Wraith gets back to his feet, Axel nails him with a Running Side Kick. Axel turns back to Ghost Face, furiously stomping at his head, chest and neck, the crowd counting with each stomp. Corpse leaps onto the apron and dives off with a spring board Crossbody..but Axel steps to the side, leaving him to crash and burn. Axel scoops up Corpse and drops him with the "Fade Into Ruin", a Sideslam with a combined elbow. Axel Clotheslines Ghost Face over the top rope and to the outside, the dreadlocked zombie tumbling into the guardrail. Axel snatches Wraith up and hits him with a DDT, soon climbing to the top rope*
Joey: Axel is a wrecking machine right now! He's been waiting for his moment to get into the ring and now he's going to seize the opportunity!
*Axel comes crashing down onto Wraith with a Diving Elbow, impacting him straight in the chest. He rises to his feet, letting out a sort of primal roar. The crowd, for the first time in his EWT career, is completely behind him. Though he appears to be lost in adrenalin to notice. He covers for a possible victory...*
1!
KICK OUT!
Schiavone: Looks like he wasted too much time for that cover.
Joey: Nice to see that you've woken up from your nap, Tony.
JBL: I've never seen Axel so focused... He's fighting almost like a caged animal. Look at the fierceness of his eyes! This man should not be held down by his partner!
*As the referee shoos out the rising Corpse, Axel bends down to pick up Wraith only to be blindsided with a Lariat that mirrors the visual and result of a rusty scythe. Instantly, the back of Axel's head slams hard as it bounces off the mat. Karma leans down to his face and lets out a guttural hiss, the sound of which almost could not be considered human.*
Schiavone: A hard Clothesline from the lone female member, Karma, to her own brother!
Joey: That Clothesline looks like it could have rivaled yours, John!
JBL: I'm not so sure about that but I'd say that she damn near decapitated her brother! I don't know what these freaks have done to the bubbly Karma Halaway, if she wasn't scary before....
Schiavone: And what about her odd sounds? It's almost like she has lost the ability to speak!
Joey: Or worse yet, her humanity.
*Karma crawls away from Axel and rolls outside the ring. A stirring Wraith covers Axel...*
1!
2!
...KICK OUT!
Joey: What a close call for the Wrestle Posse!
Schiavone: If this mismatched team cannot get rid of this numbers game that plagues them... I don't see victory in their favor.
*Wraith drags Axel by his leg over to his team's corner to tag in Ghost Face. He tags in Ghost Face, who has had enough time to recover from being forced out of the ring by Axel and is ready for vengeance. Ghost Face springboards of the ropes to drop a knee on Axel's face. The sound of knee against face causes some members of the audience to shift in their seats. This coupled with a potential knockout Bloody Mary has Axel drained of all the fire that he had before. The blonde dreadlocked zombie stares at Axel's face in hunger, he glances over at the twisted beauty who returns the same desire... For the blood of Axel Halaway to spill by their hands. Before Ghost Face can carry out his bloodlust driven acts, he sees the rope scars on Axel's neck. He wraps his fingers around Axel's neck, seemingly feeding off the disfigurement that he had a hand in. Before he can do any real damage he quickly becomes accustomed with Axel's elbow. Halaway breaks the grip off his neck with a few more shots then quickly rolls himself away from what for him would be no man's land. He rises as Ghost Face recovers glancing at his right to see that Jobby has not moved once since tagging in Axel. His eyes come to the realization that he has finally received his wish... He is now on his own and yet in a true genie's wish outcome, he now stares down four murderous individuals. That all want him to bleed.*
Schiavone: I think Axel realizes now realizes just how dire his situation is...
Joey: It would be fair to say that Jobby's out of the match.
JBL: It seems that the odds are against Axel. I can't imagine anyone surviving such conditions.
*Axel steels himself for one his hoorah as he pulls down on his gloves. He gives a devil may care smile as he steps forward to lock up with the approaching Ghost Face. After a few moments of an even struggle, Axel knees Ghost Face in the stomach then takes the advantage by slamming his gloved fists directly between the eyes of Ghost Face again and again. Halaway forces Ghost Face into a Powerbomb position before lifting him into a Cross Powerbomb position, all the while staring straight at the Draugr .*
Axel: IS THIS THE BEST YOU HAVE?! TAKING MY SISTER?! MY TAG PARTNER?! I WILL NOT BE BROKEN! I AM AXEL MOTHER F***IN' HALAWAY!
*He slams Ghost Face down into a pin.*
1!
*Kick in, by means of Wraith's Spectre Kick!*
Joey: The numbers game is simply too much for Axel to handle and now we are at the end of the match. That should be it for Axel. It was a valiant effort, but to no avail...
JBL: As much as I respect Axel I have to agree with you, Joey. This is all over except for the bloodshed.
Schiavone: It looks like Wraith has dragged Ghost Face on Axel before the referee forced him out. And now the referee starts the count!
1!
2!
...3.....NO!
JBL: WHAT?!
Joey: HOW?!
Schiavone: JOBBY INTERRUPTS?! THE PIN?!
*Indeed, Jobby has managed to save the match for his partner. But in do so, he has used everything that he has as he now lays unconscious on Ghost Face who shrugs the big man off. He stands but for a moment when he notices fresh blood on his arm... The blood of Jobby. The neon rainbow dressed man now lays down in the center of the ring next to his downed partner with no part of his face left unstained by his own blood. Feeding of the horror as if it were flesh to a Hollywood zombie, Ghost Face drinks in the sight of Jobby. The referee breaks his concentration by moving Jobby, little by little, to the ring apron in order to maintain the rules. Which leaves Wraith free reign to enter and hold up Axel in a Russian Legsweep position as Ghost Face takes in pot shots. As the referee rolls Jobby further, he is able to see his partner in critical danger.*
Jobby:....Axel.....don't.........give.........up........
*Axel, as if energized by the words of his partner, springs back to life. He elbows Wraith the upon being free catches Ghost Face with a Running Side Kick to the face. He turns instinctively to Clothesline the would be attack, Wraith. Before he can take any more action he is whipped around by someone. Fully expecting it to be Corpse, he balls his fist to turn and throw a blow. He stops short upon seeing that his flesh & blood's cat like eyes now stares into his own. Again he puts his hands down along with his gaze. He looks almost humiliated at what she has become. How she suffered while her brother sat unknowing about her condition. About how she had depended on him for her rescue. And how his failed to even lift a hand to save her. She goes to strike him only for him to catch her hand. The crowd erupts as he lifts his eyes to return her stare. She hisses as she tries to release herself from the hold. Only for Axel to wrench her arm more the side which forces her to good with the arm. He tries to remain calm as he holds his sister's own well being in his hands. But she is not the Karma that he knows. This Karma isn't the one that trained him. The sister he knew would never be so weak. All these thoughts flow through his mind before they finally consume him. His breathing as gone from normal to fast paced as his whole body quakes.*
Styles: What could be going through the mind of one, Axel Halaway....
Schiavone: He probably is feeling grief for hurting his sister. I think his desire to never lay a hand on women has him troubled and he does not know what to do.
*Just as Axel looks to be cooling down, his animalistic sibling spits a jet black substance in his face. The crowd, and more specifically the women in the audience, allow their feelings of being grossed out to be known. He calmly lifts his free right hand to wipe it off. He stares at the dark & disgusting liquid in his hand before laughing.*
Styles: HE'S LAUGHING?!
JBL: WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?!
*Instantly Axel kicks Karma savagely in the stomach and shoves her doubled over form between his legs. The arena shakes with the cheers of the crowd. He lifts her up above his shoulder before finally turning her into a Cutter. Another victim of the Iconoclast has fallen. The youngest Halaway pulls himself to his feet as he screams the loudest that he ever has in a way not unlike Karma's. The crowd blankets him in support and, for the first time, he is allowed to bask in their cheers.*
Schiavone: I'm speechless.....
Styles: Axel Halaway has lost it....
JBL: You just don't understand what just happened... He has stepped up into another plane. Say good bye to the Axel of the old, say hello to the new Icon of Professional Wrestling!
*Coming down off the high, he turns right into a “To The Bones” from Corpse who comes out of nowhere. The crowd screams out loud before openly booing. He lifts up the dead weight of Axel to hand off to the newly entered Wraith who calls over to Ghost Fact, the legal man on the apron.*
Schiavone: AFTER ALL THIS, IT LOOKS THAT THE ODDS HAVE OVERCOMED AXEL! THE REFEREE IS STILL BUSY WITH JOBBY AND NOW IT'S THREE ON ONE!
*Ghost Face springboards into the ring as Wraith lifts Axel into a Piledriver position. Upon reaching Axel's feet, Ghost Face presses down on them as Wraith drops the seemingly comatose “Icon” right onto his head. Both Wraith and Corpse quietly yet slowly exit the ring as Ghost Face makes the cover. The referee, unfortunately for the Wrestle Posse, turns to see the cover.*
1!
2!
3!
*The bell rings, signifying the end of the mat as Finkel reports the victors to the pleasure of few in the packed crowd.*
Finkel: And your winners of the match, THE DRAUGR!
Schiavone: It was just too much for Axel and Jobby this night. The Draugr have beat the Wrestle Posse.
Styles: I'm afraid you're right, Tony. It's a shame that the match had to end this way, but that's the way that it goes.
JBL: You could have called the victors of this match right from the beginning... There is no way that a team of two mismatched men, no matter the talent or lack there any, against a machine of four.
*The four members of the Draugr meet at the ramp, with Karma holding her neck looking at her downed “Axy” with a twisted smile on her face that leaves those crowd members around her uneasy.*
Schiavone: Just what does the future hold for these two teams? How will this match effect the rivalry between these teams?
JBL: This isn't a rivalry... It's a war.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:19:59 GMT -5
Finkel: The following contest...is scheduled for ONE fall!
*"Hysteria" by Muse plays and Ivy appears at the end of the ramp, tears down her cheek because of what happened to Mysth earlier, but still smiling at the crowd.*
Finkel : Introducing first, from Lille, France, Sexually Suggestive... IVY ROSPINE !!
Schiavone : Here is the beautiful French lady ! Not only is she the hottest thing I' ve ever seen, but she' s also one heck of a wrestler. But tonight, she doesn' t seem very happy.
Joey Styles : Well it' s understandable, considering her boyfriend has almost died in his own match ! And this could give Terina a HUGE psychological advantage !
JBL : Yeah well you know what ? I think it' s not Ivy' s main problem here. Her main problem is that she never competed in an EWT Pay Per View, and this is the biggest of the year ! Terina is going to go all out ! Plus, Ivy hasn' t wrestled an EWT Girl Next Door yet !
Styles : You' ve got that right, John ! The odds surely are against her, as the only advantage she might have is that Terina can' t really know what to expect from this newcomer.
*Ivy makes her way to the ring, she enters into the ring, looks at the crowd, and after hearing several chants to encourage her, she wipes her tears gives them a much warmer and honest smile. Then, she prepares herself for her opponent' s arrival.*
Finkel: And her opponent...
*The lights go out, replaced quickly by strobes and the multicolors. Oddly enough, the song "Peace Sells" by Megadeth begins to boom over the speakers. The crowd is unsure what to make of it, but as soon as Terina walks out, the crowd immediately boos.*
Schiavone: I know who this is, John!
JBL: I know who that is too--that's the future Mrs. JBL right there!
Schiavone: You might try saying that to the guys who're normally with her!
Finkel: Representing TJT and the Ministry of PEACE....from San Diego, California......TEEEEERIIINA!
JBL: Now there's a thought--what the hell happened to Thunder and Jupiter?
Schiavone: Maybe they're bored.
JBL: Bored with WHAT?
Schiavone: We can't say, folks!
JBL: Cut that crap, Schiavone. I mean, seriously! Those two guys are in their prime, and they--
Schiavone: Sorry folks, we cannot say!
JBL: Whatever! But Terina looks to be in peak condition tonight! As always!
Schiavone: Let's just see how that translates in her match tonight.
*Walking down the middle of the aisle, she almost seems to be feeding at the crowd reactions, a sly smile forming across her face as the boos intensify. As she gets to the ring, she hops onto the apron, facing the stage with her arms hooked into the ropes, and backflips over, landing feet-first into the ring. After she walks about the ring for a short while, the music stops and the lights return to normal, the crowd becoming abuzz. The ref motions for the bell, and the match is under way.*
*Terina and Ivy, facing each other from across the ring, advance towards one another and lock up. It’s not a test of strength between these two—rather a test of technical ability—as Ivy almost immediately locks in a side headlock and starts to put on the squeeze. After but ten seconds or so, Terina grabs the left arm and flips around, applying a hammerlock. Ivy reverses it into a hammerlock of her own, but not long before it becomes re-reversed. However, the hammerlock reversal cycle is ended when Ivy, tiring of the routine, decides to turn around and wrench the right arm of Terina. The lady of TJT attempts to flip under it, and yet, Ivy keeps the arm restricted. Utilizing her speed, Ivy leaps onto the nearby ropes, arm still wrenched, and launches off of it in the fashion of an arm drag takedown. Holding in an armbar to that same arm, Terina attempts to roll out, only for Ivy to—roll with her!*
Schiavone : Impressice display of abilities by both competitors, here !
Styles : I' m especially impressed to see Ivy being able to keep the pace of the match that easily although like we said, it' s a whole new level for her !
JBL : You' re not kidding, Joey, but I' d be very syrprised if Terina hasn' t something under her sleeve. She' s just sizing up Ivy, in my opinion.
*As Ivy holds it in, Terina flips up, and with her legs, body scissors Ivy across the stomach, switching their positions. With the Boa Constrictor locked in tightly, every breath taken by Ivy simply results in a tighter squeeze courtesy of Terina. The two, locked at the mat, begin to throw chops back and forth at one another, until both show signs of opening. Terina breaks the hold and gets to her feet, as does Ivy. The ladies charge simultaneously, attempting to clothesline one another—and to no avail—as both duck their opposite attempts at hitting each other. The two look on in shock of both coming out unscathed, but the peace does not last long as the two tie up with each other yet again. Switching around behind Ivy, Terina brings her down to the mat face first with a double leg takedown, immediately grabbing hold of the left leg of Ivy. Holding her down, Terina leaves the crook of the knee open, lifting her own knee up and dropping it in, twisting the leg in a kneelock.*
JBL : Now THAT must be painful !! Look at this submission hold !
Styles : That' s right, Ivy might already tap out !
*Terina holds it for some time, but as Ivy easily refuses to submit, and keeps attempting to punch her in the head, decides to let go, and go for a few stomps. After two, Terina goes to drop an elbow, but Ivy rolls out of the way as Terina falls. Ivy is slower to get up, but successfully counters what could have been a running elbow or some such move from Terina with a back body drop. With Terina on the mat, Ivy looks about for a few moments, and with lightning speed, lands a shooting star stomp straight to the stomach, making her larger opponent wince in pain as the crowd pops. Ivy goes for the cover.*
1!
2!
KICKOUT.
Schiavone : Ivy got the first pin attempt ! As surprising as it may seem, Ivy seems to be taking the lead in that match !
Styles : Yeah. But an attempt is only an attempt. She may as well be underestimating Terina, and that would be a big mistake !
*Ivy goes to pick up Terina by the hair, but the only thing she gets out of this is an elbow to the sternum. With the opening, Terina gets back to her feet, and suddenly blindsides Ivy with a European uppercut, sending her back in, reeling. Measuring up across the chest, Terina goes for a chop.*
WOO!
*Ivy, not to be outdone, also fights back with a chop, and the two women, enraged in the fight, trade shots back and forth with each other.*
WOO!
WOO!
WOO!
WOO!
*The chop-fest doesn’t last especially long, as the legs of Ivy and Terina quickly become utilized as weapons instead. Kick after kick, back and forth, both to the legs and abdominal regions. Neither seems to be wavering, and after a middle-kick Terina catches, Ivy enzuiguris her right to the side of the head, dropping her to the mat. Going after the right arm again, she places it into a wristlock and flips over, bridging it. While the pain of the submission hold shows, it cannot be kept in for long as Terina violently rakes at the eyes of Ivy, making her release and instantly cover up. Terina gets back to her feet, staggering for a moment as she shakes off her arm. Unrelenting, Ivy makes it a point to continue, getting up and instinctively sweeping, hoping to take Terina down as she buys herself some time for her eyes to recuperate. As Terina gets to one knee, Ivy runs into the opposing ropes, and goes for a—HURRICANRANA FROM TERINA!
JBL : WOAW !! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM ??
Styles : I didn' t understand anything ! How did she manage to pull this out ??
Hoping to keep things in her favor, Terina runs into the ropes, hops to the top one, and bounces off, going for a Moonsault—which she misses, as Ivy cleverly rolls out of the way at the last moment.*
*The two once again find themselves at odds with each other, getting up almost equally. Still in close quarters, the two lock up with one another; Terina goes for a fisherman Suplex, but using her legs, Ivy blocks it. She then hits a back elbow, followed by a few quick punches, and lifts Terina up in a scoop slam position. Holding her high, Terina gets herself above Ivy’s shoulders and delivers a flip Neckbreaker, bringing both of them down. She goes for the cover.*
1!
2!
KICKOUT.
*Ivy is still downed on the mat, and after a further assault on the legs via some knee drops and stomping, Terina places a step-over toehold on the left leg of Ivy. Locking it in, Ivy can visibly be seen wincing in pain—the damage to the left leg slowly starting to rise. However, using her free leg, she sweeps Terina down to the mat, leaving both of them on their backs. Ivy runs at Terina, who attempts a kick, but that was a dummy as Ivy suddenly ducks and sweeps, which drops Terina to the mat. Ivy taunts the downed Terina and runs to the ropes, bounces and hits the Shining Witch ! Terina slowly raises as Ivy is setting herself in position to hit one of her devastating combos, but she lets her guard down as Terina, who wasn' t completely up, tackles Ivy and takes her down, and now hits a series of furious punches ! The referee asks her to stop, so she goes for a Sleeper Hold ! Ivy is screaming in pain and struggling to get out of the hold, but Terina' s got it locked in very tight.*
Schiavone : Terina going for a submission hold again !
JBL : Can Ivy get out of this one ??
*After a few seconds, Ivy starts to get up, and elbows her way out of the hold and she wastes no time and hits her Sunshine Knees ! Terina doesn' t fall from this hit so Ivy comes behind her and performs a Release German Suplex ! Now, Ivy pulls Terina by the hair and gets her back to her feet. She then Irish Whips Terina in a turnbuckle and runs at her for a Clothesline, but Terina moves out of the way at the last moment and Ivy crashes into the turnbuckle !!
Now Terina sets Ivy on the top of the buckle, she takes a run up, grins at the crowd and rushes at Ivy. She jumps on her shoulders and immediately bows to hit a Super Hurracanra !! As she goes down, she jumps on the top rope and hits a Springboard Moonsault on Ivy ! And she follows with an Elbow Drop to the head... but Ivy rolls and Terina smashes the ground ! Terina is nursing her Elbow and Ivy gets behind her. As soon as Terina is on her feet, ivy grabs her and performs a Scoop Backdrop ! And she covers !*
Styles : Nice move ! That might be it !!
ONE...
TWO...
TH-KICK OUT !!
*That was very close but Terina got a shoulder up ! Ivy gets up and pulls Terina by the hair once again, but Terina grabs Ivy' s legs and takes her down, keeping the legs in her hands, and she connects with a Sharpshooter! Ivy is trying to crawl her way to the ropes, but Terina manages to keep her far from them. yet, after several seconds, Terina shows signs of tiredness due to the Scoop Backdrop she didn' t completely recover from, and Ivy starts to come closer from the ropes, but the pain is very high and Terina is still far from releasing the hold. Ivy is raising an arm.*
Schiavone : Ivy' s raising her arm !! Is she going to tap out ?!
Styles : She mustn' t have much left and just look at this Sharpshooter ! It' s plain amazing !
JBL : And so is the pain on Ivy' s face !
*she almost wants to give up, but her will raises again as she hears the chants of the crowd and she manages to cover the distance that remained until the ropes, forcing Terina to break the hold ! Now Ivy is free from the hold, but she' s still lying on the ground, nursing her legs. Terina is taking time to recover from her injuries. She sees Ivy is finally getting up and comes close to her, only to get hit with the Painful Truth ! But as Ivy wants to hit the last punch of this move, Terina dodges and hits a Crocodile Tears !! And now Terina runs at a turnbuckle and jumps on it and goes for the FLYING TREE FROG !!*
Schiavone : THIS THING IS OVER !!
JBL : NO ! Wait a second !!
*Ivy just rose her legs and Terina fell on them !! Ivy now gets up, and so does Terina, but she' s too slow and Ivy Irish whips her, then she runs to the ropes and she performs a soccer tackle to Terina, which forces her to put a knee down which means Ivy is going for the BLACK DOG SERENADE !! Ivy takes a run up and rushes at Terina, but as she slides on the ground, Terina manages to grab her and sets her for the TORRENT !! But Ivy manges to slide from Terina' s shoulders, she grabs her hips and here she goes for the IVY BOMB !!!!*
Styles : MY GOD DID YOU SEE THAT IVY BOMB ?!!
JBL : I believe he at least heard it !! Waow !!
Schiavone : Ivy goes for the pin !
The three of them : ONE...
TWO...
THREE !!
*The bell rings and "Hysteria" hits through the speakers.*
Styles : Incredible ! Just incredible ! Ivy won her first Crap-A-Mania match and her first match against a Girl Next Door !
JBL : I must say she really impressed me. That was one unbelievable match !
Schiavone : True, and you' ve got to give Terina credit. She did all what she could to get the victory in that match. Both of them diserved the victory !
*Ivy is celebrating and the crowd is on their feet ! Ivy seems to be a bit rejoiced, even though the first thing she wants to do is to check how is Mysth. But suddenly, emerging from opposite sides of the crowd, are Thunder and Jupiter. Both of them slide in and advance at her, and her head moves back and forth between the two men. Before she can even react, the pair are on her in an instant, restraining her and getting her into position for Thunder Has Struck On Jupiter.*
Schiavone: I don't like the looks of this one, Styles!
*Jupiter yells no more than a simple "THAT'S IT!" and Thunder launches her, Jupiter following up at the same time with his inverted cutter, completing the move and sending Ivy crumpling down to the mat. The crowd erupts in boos, as the two crack their neck and fingers, as if nothing happened.*
JBL: You know, I've liked TJT, but this is just plain sick! Teaming up on a woman, by herself--
Schiavone: It'd be sick, regardless!
*Someone refuses to hit their music, and Thunder picks up the still dazed Terina up, carrying her over his shoulder. Jupiter directs Thunder to exit the ring, and he soon follows, up the ramp and backstage.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:21:15 GMT -5
*As the crowd begins to relax from the last match, we cut to a video promo for Big and Bad. When we come back we find the stage is for the Colossal Coliseum… ‘Moving on Up’ hits from the speakers and out walks Curly Long the midget with the most, clearly enjoying being here at Crap-A-Mania. He grins as he hops up onto his seat between the pillars. He takes a glass of wine from the toga girls and prepares to speak. A healthy ‘VLB’ chant can be heard but Curly Long laps it up.*
CURLY LONG: Welcome to Curly Long is Crap-a-Mania!!!!
*The crowd boos loudly at this, they came to see wrestling action not a egotistical midget*
CURLY: Thank You, Thank you I know it must be hard for you poor people to come here and support me when you have to live off wood chippings and rain water to survive.
*More jeers head Curly’s way, he pays the masses no attention though*
CURLY: So what does the Midget King proclaim to have for you tonight at the biggest stage of them all? Well you may know I have a match with Heiderndorf later on. That cripple dares to ruin my chance on Deal or No Deal! He’ll soon have more to worry about that the fact he can feel nothing in his legs!
*The crowd boos*
CURLY: No then who is to appear on the Colossal Coliseum this evening? Well I won’t keep you waiting any longer, they are by far the greatest selection of faces in the entertainment industry ... Ladies and Gentlemen first I give you famed Hollywood Director, Zed Pine!
*Some cheesy sounding Hollywood music, something you'd probably hear during the red carpet ceremony starts up, as Zed struts down... what do you know, a RED CARPET that has been rolled down along the ramp way, blowing kisses to the audience who boo him rather vociferously, the man ignoring it all, sporting a neon green jacket, bright blue puffy pants, a monocle that looks like half a pair of expensive sunglasses, a yellow scarf, and an excruciatingly annoying grin on his face, as he steps into the ring first, shaking Long's hand.*
CURLY: Next we have the man with the greatest set of pipes in all of Broadway and beyond... the musical's favorite performer, Lull Songstra!
*With the same Hollywood music blanketing the arena, out comes the man with the self proclaimed "Platinum Tones"... Lull Songstra. He is dressed in a number that is a mix between modern day clothing and 18th century frilly clothing. As he gracefully walks down to the ring, he blows kisses to all his "fans". He climbs the ring steps with the effortlessly then wipes his feet on the apron. He pauses, looking at his "public" not hesitating to flash a billion dollar smile. He holds his smile well looking over at Pine. He nods his head at the ropes.*
CURLY: She's the daytime Diva for all unemployed housewives who've got nothing better to do... star of the past hit Soap Opera, Show Full of Plotholes.... Mella Drom Attoc!
*'Instead of the obnoxious music they, as the audience, expected to hear, ‘Rich Girl’ by Gwen “I wanna be Madonna!” Stefani plays. Mella steps out, full of swagger and stuck-up spunk. Platinum-colored hair cut into a pixie-chic manner, with a pink nightie-with pink frills lining the neck and bottom- on over black PVC shorts and bra. Definitely not the type the EWT crowd is used to seeing in their women. Her left arm is raised, showing off perfectly manicured nails, and she's blowing kisses with the other hand. She joins Lull with a curtsy.*
CURLY: And finally ... last, but most certainly not least, he's the biggest name in Hollywood since Warwick Davis, give it up for the greatest man to ever hit the silver screen... TIM CRUIS!!!
*Tim struts down to the ring, wearing a simple black and white suit, black Italian shoes, black sunglasses, and walking like a board down to the ring, like some kind of robot, the crowd showing their affection by booing their heads off, absolutely appalled at the sight of this horrible "actor" as he ignores them all, stepping into the ring, leaning down and kissing Mella's wrist, then shaking Lull, Zed, and Long's hands as he walks over, basking in the attention. Lull steps into the ring, look mildly nerved that he had to enter the ring by himself. But nevertheless, he keeps his billion dollar smile.*
CURLY: Good evening all... it seems that this crowd REALLY loves you. Heh, I don't see why not, after all ... I only allow the most respectable and admirable folks on the Coliseum ... the likes of the PTA, Billy Ubermark, Flex Magnificent …
*Each name gets a louder jeer of anger from the crowd, they know fully well that some of the top faces have appeared on the coliseum, Curly however is cut off by Zed*
PINE (interrupting): AND THAT'S why we agreed to appear on here Mr. Long, because the Curly Coliseum is really the only respectable place folks of our upbringing and stature would be suited be appear on. When you've been in the entertainment business as long as we have, you quickly figure out that you don't settle for anything below the best... and you're looking at them right here folks! I mean, where else were we going to appear... on that Comedy Club thing? Who ever heard of a funny man doing a good interview? I mean... that's like a clown working for the press, you get my gist?
CURLY: Listen here Zed don’t start me up on Doink the Comedian …
*Curly is again interrupted, this time by the singing voice of Lull Songstra it is a melody of power, beauty. The fans quite hate it and boo*
LULL (Singing): AND HAVE YOU SEEN HIS GUESTS? WHY THEY ARE NOTHING MORE THAN COMMON PESTS!
CURLY: Woah there ... Why are you singing? This isn’t that show with the three losers judging nobodies.
LULL (Singing): GOOD SIR, IT WOULD BE A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY FOR ME NOT TO GIVE! AND DON'T COMPARE MY OBVIOUS TALENTS TO THOSE WANT TO BES & CRIMINALS THAT USE SHIVES!
CURLY: Take it easy... I didn't say there was anything wrong with it... you can do whatever you want. Though I thought most musical theater fairies always rested their voices.
LULL (Still singing): BUT YOU FORGET THAT MY ABILITIES ARE FAR ABOVE ALL THE REST! JUST AS EVERYONE KNOWS, SONGSTRA IS SIMPLY THE MANLIEST AND BEST!
*Curly takes a large gulp of wine, clearly wondering why he agreed to have these four giant ego’s on his show, he however smiles politely as Cruis takes up a microphone*
CRUIS: Yeah... and at least Lull here can reach the top shelf without an escalator!
*The crowd gives a cheery laugh at this comment*
LULL (Not stopping with the singing): MY DEAR FRIEND, DON'T FORGET YOUR IMAGINE! LEST YOUR APPROVAL POLLS GO BACK PAST THE LINE OF SCRIMMAGE!
CRUIS: You're right... I feel sorry for having wasted an insult on this commoner anyway.
LULL: No problem.
*Curly has clearly had enough of this barrage of insults on his own show and stands up on his seat. Despite his midget size the bald headed midget is not going to be overlooked*
CURLY: Watch what you say punk ... or I'll let you know how it feels to take a punch without a stunt double replacing ya!
PINE (interrupting again): I assure you good sir, the strapping lad Tim Cruis would NEVER resort to using such smoke and mirrors in his films. In fact, Cruis here has knocked out more important folks than yourself. Not only that, but ya do realize that we could easily sue your tush for Slander. So just button those gums unless you want some empty pockets.
LULL: AND ALLOW YOURSELF TO BECOME DRUNK IN OUR INTOXICATING PRESSENCE!
*Curly has another galss of wine, taking Lull’s words a bit too literally*
CURLY: Alright... fine. I don't need another lawsuit on my hands, what with the that animal rights group and that Protection of Children Parental union . So yeah, let's just move on to you cutie... you haven't said much have ya?
*As Curly eyes the pretty young thing up and down, there is no prize to guess what he is thinking.*
MELLA: My dear miniature friend, I haven't said much because I find you fall quite below my usual standards.
*Miss Priss stands in at Five Foot Five herself.*
CURLY: Well-Mella I may not reach your dizzy heights, but I’m sure I can erect a monument so that you don’t need to fall at all, heh heh. While my standards are never below anyone as I’m are always on top!
LULL: GOOD SIR, WE DO NOT APPRCIATE SUCH LANGUAGE AGAINST US! YOU FORGET YOUR PLACE JUST LIKE THE REST OF THESE SOULS FULL OF PUS!
CURLY: Hey, lull the volume there... I'm the rude crude midget king! You can't expect me to just kiss your ass like some cheap second rate hooker... or maybe Mella's after the show
*Curly grins, the gap in his teeth visible, but he is clearly enjoying this now*
MELLA: Shrimptacular little cretin! How DARE you even merely SUGGEST such a vile credence against me!
CURLY: What? Not dirty enough? Ok have it your way, you can come by my hotel room, I’ll bring the whipped cream, masking tape, four pineapples and …
CRUIS: Good God! You have got to be one of the most vile men I've ever met. Makes you perfect for this flea bitten operation here.
*The crowd is enjoying watching these people become disgusted with Curly Long’s dirty little mind and boo Cruis loudly*
CURLY: At least I'm not some Hollywood pretty boy with the personality of a plank of wood! Jeez you make Ben Affleck look interesting!
*Cruis lowers his shades, looking even more annoyed now, as Pine quickly holds him back from assaulting Long. Cruis quickly cooling himself off, as Zed gives a sigh of relief.*
PINE: C'mon peoples... let's just put away the hostility and do this interview. Don't need anymore scum in the dirt rags eh?
*Long simply shrugs, as the four guests all take a seat in some fancy looking chairs, probably imported just for them. Long sits on a taller but barely less fancy looking one, as he looks over the individuals*
CURLY: So... let's start with you Mella. You say you've got yet another horrible Soap Opera for idiots to be subjected to... tell us about that …
MELLA: My shows are nothing more then godly pieces of heaven designated to entertain and amuse those unfortunate souls that aren't as pretty or talented as us three. Little man, Evil Twins and Comas is a show specifically for those dreamers who wish for a better life.
*She does a dreamy sigh, and smiles to herself.*
CURLY: Little Men, Evil Twins and Comas? Sounds like my kind of program. Alright ... what about you Mr. B Flat? What musical tragedy are you going to be condemning our ears with?
LULL (Still no sign of stopping): THANK YOU FOR ASKING! AND I'LL IGNORE THE INSULT, YOU MIDGET ASS-KING!
CURLY: OK there is no doubt! Although tonight I have another bout. Music is about tone and pitch, Sadly from what I’ve heard you need to be thrown in a ditch!
LULL (singing continuously now): THAT WAS A GOOD RHYME! YOU SHOULD DO THAT ALL THE TIME!
CURLY: .... Not a chance. So, anyway, what's the scoop on your newest musical?
LULL (It doesn’t stop): IT'S A PREQUAL TO MY FIFTITH MUSICAL ABOUT GRASS! IT'S CALLED "GET READY TO PUCKER UP AND KISS MY SASSAFAS!
MELLA:...*She inserts a slight giggle*
CURLY: Oh wow... a musical about GRASS. Next thing you know, they'll make one about ceilings.
LULL: SURELY YOU JEST! YOU'VE A GOOD A SOUL OF AN ARTIST IN YOUR Mind.
CURLY: Hey... music man... THAT LAST THING DIDN'T RHYME!
LULL: Not all songs rhyme. Have you no knowledge of classical music?
CURLY: Nope... the only sounds I listen to are for either getting it on or of girls squealing in joy once they are plucked long and hard, heh.
LULL: ...Are you sure you're not an actor?
CURLY: Well... most people wouldn't call that kind of stuff acting. Though you seem like the guy that'd be more interested in watching ... me!
LULL: Kindred spirit, I am a performer. Not a spectator like all of these great people, who depend on us for their only chance at happiness.
CURLY: Spirit?! Kid... I ain't dead, I am alive and loving all night long!
CRUIS: That can easily be fixed little man...
PINE (whispering) No... we can't have people accusing you of that again. Remember all the filth we had to wade through?
*The crowd begins a ‘Fight’ chant*
CRUIS: ... all you've gotta do is go see Lull's latest project and you'll be sent right to heaven!
CURLY: That good is it?
LULL: What?
CURLY: Don’t worry I'll pass. Anyway, let's move on to you Cruis... what flop are we going to be seeing now?
CRUIS: Well... not that you deserve to see it, but right now I'm working on my latest project with Pine here... "Death, then Rebirth of the Final Avenger... Part Three" I play the lead role, Courageface McBravery, a fearless man who risks his life to save the world from the evil Gunnahgitchoo Empire. As you watch me fight billions of enemy soldiers, avoid near death experiences I go on to try and save the beautiful Princess Imagurl from their Castle of Pain. If I say so myself, I put on quite a powerhouse performance for that flick.
CURLY: ... That's the worst plot I've ever heard.
PINE: Ha ha... what a kidder! Naw... I assure you boobie, that this is another classic piece of cinematography, a beautiful piece of work on which nobody has yet to lay their peepers on. It's a real thrill for the whole clan
LULL: Truly.
MELLA: Madly and deeply. It's elegance of another sort.
CURLY: Hey, whatever you say guys... but I'm not going to see it. I prefer movies that I can actually stomach watching. Who knows though, maybe some of the slack jawed Sesame Street fanatics here will go see it.
*The crowd begins booing even louder... not appreciating this comment*
CURLY: You know despite you resume ... you folks wouldn't last a second here in the EWT. Yeah, you think acting is tough, but really I would like to see you try and step into the ring with some of the people here. As much as I want to see you lot get beaten to a pulp by the likes of Psychoapeguy, Team Ireland, Cassinova or Maelstrom. You'd be taking a helicopter back to the finest hospital to mend all those wounds you'd get.
LULL: Little do you know, little man...
CURLY: And what is that supposed to mean?
MELLA (serious, dramatic tones overtake her earlier, girlish charm): We've conquered all the other arts and now there is nothing for us. And now we've set our sights on the arts of wrestling, which we will soon dominate as well.
PINE: Yep... that's right Curls, we had an ulterior motive for agreeing to come to this little show of yours. You see, my three friends and I are here because we want to prove to all these guys all around the square here that they can hang toe to toe, knee to knee, eye to eye and butt to butt with any of the so called "stars" in this EWZ.
*The crowd boos the mis-pronunciation of the federation*
CURLY: It’s EWT!
LULL: That's why we have pooled our resources and have pooled resources to create our own production company.
CURLY: So wait... YOU CAME ON HERE TO ANNOUNCE YOUR GOING TO BE JOINING THE EWT?! I'm guessing you guys like getting your ass kicked huh?
MELLA (feminine laughter): Oh you wish you could get near this ass. EWT is the only place left for our masterminds to come and conquer. Don't underestimate those that stand taller then your head, little man.
CURLY: Listen sister your talking to a former tag team champion! I don’t under-estimate anyone here, as I’m the shortest person in the EWT!
PINE: I assure ya ... that Cruis, Lull, and Mella are all perfectly capable of bouncing around like a beach ball and walloping enemies with moves aplenty!
LULL (Deafening singing): BEEEEEECCCCCCAAAAUUUUUUSSSSSSEEEEE WWWWWWWEEEEEEEEE AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE....
CRUIS and MELLA: ... Coming Attraction Productions!
CRUIS: The greatest trio of grappling any of you will ever have the opportunity to see in your entire lifetimes!
CURLY: ... Coming Attraction Productions?
CRUIS: Yes... because we are coming... and we are definitely ATTRACTIONS!
LULL: And productions needs no explanation.
MELLA: Because we are totally, most UNDENIABLY that fantastic!
*The four members of Coming Attraction Productions stand up and signal to the crowd that they are here to make an impact, big expensive music plays as the group leave the Coliseum and head to the top of the stage, flash bulbs go off everywhere! Curly remains in his seat looking at the newest stable in EWT with a mixture of wonder and disbelief as they go.*
CURLY: Well there you apparently have it folks, coming Attraction Productions ... the newest members of the EWT roster, probably also the guys with the shortest shelf life too.
*Curly hops down from his seat and exits the ring, he heads up the ramp. He is now going to prepare for his match against Heiderndorf which will be later tonight.*
(Cut to promo for the next match)
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:22:02 GMT -5
The lights throughout the arena fade to black, confusing the spectators in attendance and leaving them to ponder over the numerous possibilities that would relate to the matter. Suddenly, a single spotlight turns on, shining down upon a figure kneeling on the entrance stage. The sound of a Japanese flute playing beautifully is heard throughout the sound system. The solo is soon accompanied by the “pon” sound made by the tsuzumi (a Japanese shoulder drum) and violin. The figure soon raises it’s head and stands upright; it’s figure and unique beauty reveals to the crowd that the person is a woman. Dressed in a flower pattern kimono, traditional geisha makeup and Japanese umbrella, the woman walks and slowly dances on the stage with natural grace. The woman suddenly stops as another spotlight shines down on the entrance stage. This time the object in the limelight is a gold nugget. Compelled by curiosity and avarice, the geisha drops her umbrella and picks up the gold object without hesitation. As she stands and looks down at her findings, two large blood-red eyes appear to her right. The woman turns and looks back at the eyes, the lights on the stage brighten to reveal that the eyes are part of a large scale structure in the form of a dragon’s head. The revelation startles the woman who falls backwards, her terrified eyes staring at the dragon as if she overcome by some sort of trance. The stage lights increase in brightness, revealing 12 Taiko drummers (six on each side of the dragon and two sets of o-daikos (two men per drum) stand atop of the dragon’s head. The four drummers on top of the head shout a command in Japanese and all of the drummers begin hitting their instruments in unison. Acrobats run out on the stage and begin to dance and perform in maneuvers similar to that of those Circus du Soleil. The lights continue to brighten the arena more to the point where the audience can see a choir performing in the background of the dragon. As the performance continues, a trap door in the center of the dragon’s head opens and another mysterious individual ascends to the top between the two o-daikos. It is a male with platinum blonde hair where the tips just reach his chin, wearing a gold and silver dragon patterned kimono. He holds two paper fans with kanji symbols all over them and wears a traditional kabuki mask. He waves the fans about rapidly and proceeds to leap off the dragon’s head, backflipping in mid-air and landing flawlessly on his feet. He and along with the acrobats begin to dance in one solid movement, an effort that no doubt took much time and repetition to perfect. The masked man turns his back to the ring and poses, causing all of the dancers, choir singers and drummers to stop. The bewildered crowd looks on, unable to find the words to describe what they had witnessed. However, when “Keep on Liftin’” by dj nagureo begins to play, they realize who orchestrated the performance. As the music begins pick up, the masked man quickly discards the fans in his possession, turns around and tosses the kabuki mask aside revealing his identity: “The Palm Springs Playboy” Ratings. Pyrotechnics go off in the rafters above and thousands upon thousands of cherry blossoms fall onto the crowd and ring. The geisha from before approaches Ratings and hands him a pair of sunglasses, which Ratings accepts and wears them with his usual cocky smile as he walks down the aisle towards the ring, where amongst the sea of cherry blossoms stands Toni Garcya who begins to announce the participants for the upcoming match.
Garcya: “The following contest is scheduled for one fall. First, making his way to the ring: representing the Elite; from Palm Springs, California; weighing 219 pounds… RATINGS!!!”
Joey: “…Wow. T-That was some entrance made by the “It” Athlete himself, Ratings.”
JBL: “That wasn’t just an entrance, Joey. That was a GRAND entrance. A grand entrance for a grand wrestler. Guys like Ratings and myself know how to make an appearance, and that right there was something that rivals the biggest budgeted films of our time. And if you thought that entrance was great, just wait until you see him compete in the ring.”
Joey: “I said it was some entrance. I didn’t say anything about it being “great”. Jeez, I’m getting flower pedals in my mouth.”
Tony: “Well better flower pedals than hairballs. Just imagine if it was raining cats and dogs, right gentlemen?”
*cricket noises*
Joey: (completely ignoring Tony’s comment) “Well this will no doubt be the climax of a feud that has been heating up over the past couple of months. And unfortunate for Ratings, he is facing this battle alone because thanks to EWT’s board of directors, BK3K has been banned from ringside during this match up.”
JBL: “No Maxx Awesome. No Erik Majors. Just a fight between two men who feel they have something to prove.”
Joey: “Ratings no doubt feels that he NEEDS to win this match to fulfill his so-called destiny of being EWT champion, but it is not going to be a cakewalk for him because his opponent is coming to the ring in a matter of moments.
Having entered the ring and discarding his entrance accessories, Ratings leans back against the turnbuckles in the bottom right ring corner, his eyes staring at the entrance stage with burning intensity. Numerous EWT stage workers enter the ring with brooms and sweep out the cherry blossoms that have fallen into the ring. As soon as the music fades to silence, a deep voice can be heard through the speakers.
Voice Over: “For the last 2 & a half years many things have changed in EWT. Wrestlers have come & gone, titles have been won & lost. But one thing, one man has remained. He is the best, he is the brightest, he is a true EWT Icon. He has stood on top of the mountain here at Crap-a-Mania, he has conquered all the great names in EWT history. He is the one, the only, the icon.”
The screen cuts to outside. A camera is focused on the sky. We hear a low rumble & a military looking helicopter buzzes overhead. It then turns & starts to circle the arena. We can vaguely see the door opening & some figures leaping out. They fall for a second & then they open parachutes. They float down & land on the roof of the arena. They are all dressed in army uniforms. They all run down inside the building & out to the arena itself. They line the entrance way with one man standing at the top. The spotlight focuses on him & he takes off his helmet. It's Spaz! Where's The Party At starts up & the military guys start to fire their guns into the air as pyro erupts. The fans go crazy as Spaz heads to the ring. He takes off various parts of his military outfit & hands them to fans as he goes.
Toni Garcya: “Now making his way to the ring, accompanied by the 101st Airborne Division, he is a two time former EWT OX Division Champion & a former EWT World Heavyweight Champion, weighing in at 216 lbs he is Spaz!!”
Joey: “Well judging by the crowd’s reaction, I would say they are fully behind the man who EWT hall of fame someday, Spaz.”
JBL: “What a career it has been, Styles. Spaz was and still is one of the best wrestlers in EWT to date and he is only 23-years-old. He has plenty of years of competing in the squared circle and his list of accomplishments will surely grow. But remember what Ratings has pointed out numerous times. At the height of his career, when he was 2-time Ox Division Champion and held the EWT World Heavyweight title for an amazing 162 days, he had Generation Tech to watch his back. Ratings claims that Spaz rode on his stable-mates’ coattails to success and as much as I like Spaz and think he is an impressive athlete, I can’t help but agree that Ratings does make some valid points.”
Joey: “Well I don’t think Ratings should be one to talk. I mean, how many times has he won watches solely relying on his fellow Elite members, Maxx Awesome & Erik Majors?”
JBL: “You’re right about that and during situations like these, we had a way of settling them back in Texas and that was a good old fashion fight. I tell ya, Joey. We are in for a real treat tonight.”
Spaz enters the ring and climbs to the top left turnbuckle and poses for the ecstatic crowd. After climbing down, his eyes dart towards his opponent, Ratings—who looks back with an icy glare of his own. Garcya exits the ring and the referee singles to the timekeeper to ring the bell, officially starting the match. Both men approach the center of the ring until they stand before each other face-to-face. The crowd begin to get behind Spaz, chanting his name to their hearts’ content. The stare down between the two wrestlers continue, both waiting for the other to make the first move. To the shock and disapproval of the audience, Ratings slaps Spaz across the face as hard as he can. Their booing does little to hurt Ratings’ confidence, as a smug grin curls upon his face, no doubt feeling good about his cheap shot. His smile falls though when Spaz turns back to Ratings, his face still expressionless prior to the slap. He mouths the words “Do it again” to Ratings and the heel does so after a moment of hesitation. Once again Spaz turns back showing no effects from the attacks and eggs Ratings to repeat his actions again. Growing frustrated with his opponent’s mind games, Ratings puts all his strength into the following slap that echoes throughout the arena and drawing some surprised reactions from the crowd. But even though Ratings put everything he had into the slap, Spaz looks back at Ratings, this time flashing an satisfied grin. Catching sight of Spaz’s facial expression via the Toomitron, the crowd erupts in approval, while Ratings is driven to the point of intimidated frustration. He throws a wild punch to Spaz’s head which Spaz’s dodges with ease. He gets behind Ratings and takes him down to the canvas of the ring and applies a headlock. It takes only a few short seconds for Ratings to escape the hold and locks in a hammerlock on his opponent. Spaz quickly counters and goes to lock in a fujiwara armbar but Ratings quickly crawls to the ropes for the rope break. Spaz releases the hold and quickly gets back to his feet. Ratings looks up at his waiting opponent while he tries to buy some time and come up with a strategy, believing that if Spaz had succeeded in locking in the armbar he would be tapping out seconds later. Ratings slowly gets to his feet and meets Spaz center of the ring again. He raises his hand in the air, challenging Spaz to a test of strength. Accepting with caution, Spaz slowly raises his hand up towards Ratings’. As soon as the hands grasps, Ratings reaches up with his free hand puts Spaz into a wrist lock. Being the better technician in chain wrestling, Spaz counters with a wrist lock of his own. Ratings tries to cartwheel and flip his way out of it (luchadore style counters) but when he is almost free Spaz takes him down to the mat, still twisting and applying pressure to his opponent’s wrist. Ratings is only on his back for a few seconds until he kips up to his a la Shawn Michaels, freeing his wrist in the process. With his opponent’s back facing him, Spaz is quick to capitalize the moment by rolling Ratings up with a school boy for an early pin attempt.
1…
Ratings quickly kicks out, but to be in a pinning situation so early in the match has completely thrown the hated superstar off his game and he rolls out of the ring to regroup. Outside the ring, he paces back and forward, furious about his performance so far in this match. He takes his frustration on the first thing he sees, which happens to be the ring steps by the time keeper and commentary tables. He kicks the metallic object, knocking the first layer off, to which the spectators in attendance boo in disapproval. Finished venting, Ratings looks back at Spaz, who motions to him to get back in the ring. Ratings slowly climbs up to the ring apron and just as he is about to reenter the ring, Spaz makes a run towards him. Ratings’ reaction to this sudden and surprise move is to step off the apron and back away from his charging opponent. Spaz slides out of the ring and chases Ratings outside the ring, both men running as fast as they could. Knowing that this would get him nowhere, Ratings slides back into the ring and poses to attack Spaz as soon as he slides back in himself. Just as Spaz slides in, Ratings tries to stomp him. But unlike most wrestlers in who would fall for this tactic in the past, Spaz catches Ratings’ boot and continue to hold it while he stands. Moments later, he is able to send the unbalanced Ratings to the ground and apply another headlock. In another act of venting frustration, Ratings pounds his fist against the canvas while still locked in Spaz’s hold.
Joey: “Another headlock applied by Spaz and in the opening moments of the match, Spaz has completely outwrestled his opponent Ratings.”
JBL: “I can’t say I’m surprised. Spaz is the best technical wrestling in EWT, past or present. And not only that Joey, but it looks like he has succeeded in getting into Ratings’ head too.”
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:22:32 GMT -5
Joey: “For over the last few months, Ratings has attempted to play mind games with Spaz and what he had accomplished over that time period, Spaz has surpassed in only a few minutes. If this keeps up, we may be looking at a quick victory for Spaz.”
Back in the ring, Ratings has managed to get to his with the headlock still firmly applied on him by Spaz. Backing up to the ropes behind him and his opponent. Ratings is able to push Spaz away to the opposite side of the ring. Spaz hits the ropes on that side and meets Ratings in the middle of the ring, where the Palm Springs Playboy leaps over his charging foe. As Spaz bounces off the ropes, Ratings quickly lays flat on his stomach predicting that Spaz would jump over him. Once again however, Spaz proves that he is one step ahead of Ratings as he stops before him and goes for the Crippler Crossface. Before he can lock it in though, Ratings breaks free and makes haste towards the ropes for another break.
Joey: “And once again in the early moments of this match, Spaz almost had the match won. This time with the Crippler Crossface, shades of Spaz’s idol growing up, Chris Benoit. Speaking of which, JBL, I can’t help but see a lot of Benoit in Spaz. He sort of reminds me of the Benoit in his younger days, don’t you think?”
JBL: “He does remind me of a young Benoit. Not just by build and mannerism but by wrestling style as well. Growing up in Calgary, Benoit idolized the Dynamite Kid. Growing up in Sydney, Australia; Spaz looked up to Chris Benoit. Benoit has accomplished much in his almost 20-year career and I can imagine Spaz will follow his idol’s footsteps of success.”
From a kneeled position and one hand firmly gripping the middle ring rope, Ratings glares at Spaz while breathing heavily. With a grin, Spaz makes it fully aware that he was so close to making Ratings tap out. Dejected by his inability to gain the upper hand of the match, Ratings slowly gets to his feet and tries to think up another strategy while proceeding towards the center of the ring to meet Spaz. He raises his arm again, throwing down the gauntlet for another test of strength. Spaz accepts and raises his hand towards Ratings for second time. This time however, Ratings capitalizes on the split second Spaz drops his guard and quickly thumbs his opponent in the eye. Spaz is dazed enough for Ratings to attack him with a barrage of clubbing blows to the upper back and fists to the head. The crowd vocally exclaim their anger over the cheap shot from Ratings by giving him the Bronx cheer (better known as booing).
Joey: “Now that just what I expect from Ratings. Resorting to cheap shots in order to gain the advantage.”
JBL: “I’m not going to lie, Joey. There were some rare times when I resorted to tactics like that in my matches…”
Joey: “Define ‘rare’.”
JBL: “Watch your mouth when you speak to a wrestling god. The point is that it may not win you over with the fans, it may be looked down upon in the locker room it gets the job done.”
Joey: “Ratings and Spaz going toe-to-toe here at 4th annual Crap-a-Mania. Interesting fact, JBL: Spaz is one of the few active EWT superstars who have competed at all 4 Crap-a-Mania with a record of 2-1.”
JBL: “Defeated Botchberg at the 1st Crap-a-Mania, lost the Ox Division title to Eddie Omega at 2nd, but successfully defended the EWT Heavyweight title against his friend “Big Daddy” Gasoline at the previous show. That match tore the roof off the arena that night Joey.”
Joey: “And this is Ratings’ first taste of the biggest show EWT holds all year.”
JBL: “And what a first impression he’ll make if he able to defeat Spaz tonight.”
Ratings continues to work on Spaz, who happens to be in a not so positive predicament with his back against the ropes. Ratings throws a haymaker but Spaz blocks it and dishes out a hard knife edge chop to the chest, drawing some “WHOO’S” to the crowd. He follows up with more chops that sends Ratings reeling backwards until his back hits the ropes. Spaz breaks into a run and clothesline Ratings, sending his opponent and himself over the top rope where both men fall onto the apron. The two shake off the daze they received from the previous maneuver and begin trading punches while getting back onto their feet. Spaz seems to get the gain the upper hand as he is sends Ratings into a daze after a flurry of rights. With the stunned Ratings trying to maintain balance on the apron, Spaz rushes towards him, going for a high impact maneuver. Much to his and the audience’s surprise, Ratings catches him in a fireman’s carry position and proceeds to jump off the apron and hit Spaz with the Rodeo (ro-DAY-oh) Driver to the matted floor below.
Joey: “RODEO DRIVER OFF THE APRON! And just like that, this becomes a whole new match.”
JBL: “Things were looking pretty good for Spaz but I’d say the sides are pretty much even now, Joey.”
Tony: “Yeah.”
JBL: (darting a glare at Tony) “Who said you could speak!?”
Tony: “Sorry…”
While the crowd chants “HOLY S***” from the previous move, Ratings and Spaz both lay on the floor to recover. Several seconds later, Ratings is first to his feet while Spaz has only begun to pick himself up. Ratings “helps” him by grabbing him by the hair and dragging up him to his feet. Ratings tries to Irish whip into the barricades behind him but Spaz is able to reverse it with a Irish whip of his own and gives chase to the opponent he sent running. Just before he hits the barricade however, Ratings leaps into the air and onto the foot size (width) barricade and hits Spaz with a moonsault! While the crowd had loathed him since he stepped out onto the entrance stage, they can’t help but applaud the counter Ratings had just performed.
Joey: “Ratings with a moonsault from the barricade! I don’t believe it!”
JBL: “Now that was amazing! That’s something you see out the movies! The movies with wires and special effects and professionally trained stuntmen and we just saw a man do that with perfection and without anything that said just said.”
Tony: “You mean about the movies?”
JBL: “You don’t know how lucky you are that Joey is seated between us, Tony. You make Michael Cole sound like Howard Cosell.”
Much like last time, Ratings is first to his feet after both he and Spaz were down for a couple of seconds, dazed from the moonsault moments ago. Rather than focusing on Spaz though, Ratings opts to turns his attention to the padded floor behind him. He kneels down and begins to remove a section of the matted ground, exposing the cold concrete underneath. The audience takes a collective gasp, knowing that Ratings has bad intentions planned for Spaz, who is almost to his feet. Ratings boots him in the stomach to prolong his recovery and drags him to the concrete floor. With a sick grin, Ratings sets Spaz up for a front suplex but as he raises Spaz in the air, the beloved wrestler from Australia counters and lands on his feet behind Ratings. The Aussie is quick to follow up as he locks Ratings in a full nelson and PERFORMS A RELEASE DRAGON SUPLEX ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR. The back of Ratings’ head and neck slam against the cold solid ground hard and the man lays motionless on his stomach. Spaz did not fair any better as he rolls around on the floor holding the back of his head which slapped against the concrete as well. Another “HOLY S***” chant can be heard throughout the arena while other fans simple applaud, a show of respects towards the two wrestlers who are putting their bodies on the line for their enjoyment.
Joey: (contorted facial expression) “Jeez! Did you hear that sick thud both men’s heads made!”
JBL: “That was a hell of a counter by Spaz but what he did right there was a double edged sword. Yeah it hurt Ratings but it sure hell hurt Spaz too.”
Joey: “I won’t be surprised if one—if not both—of them have a concussion.”
JBL: “And think of all the careers in professional wrestling that have been cut short due to concussion related injuries. Look at Bret Hart, look at Christopher Nowinski, the list goes on. They can take a long time to heal and sometimes you never fully recover.”
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:23:07 GMT -5
Joey: “Well let’s just hope that it won’t be the case for Spaz and Ratings.”
With his head still throbbing in pain, Spaz is first to stand. He shakes off the dizziness and slides Ratings back inside the ring. He climbs up to the ring apron then ascends higher by climbing to the top turnbuckle. Posed and ready, he waits for Ratings to pick himself up. As the Palm Springs Playboy does so and blindly turns around towards his prepared opponent, Spaz leaps off the top and takes Ratings down with missile dropkick. The crowd applauds as Spaz quickly covers Ratings for the pin.
1… 2…
No. Ratings gets his shoulder up. Grabbing a handful of his opponent’s hair, Spaz pulls Ratings up to his feet. He Irish whips him into the bottom left ring corner and follows it up with a running clothesline. Spaz whips him again, this time to the top right ring corner. However, a rejuvenated Ratings leaps to the top rope before he could hit the turnbuckles. But Spaz was prepared for this and he quickly knocks Ratings off balance causing him to crotch himself. In obvious pain, Ratings falls backwards and puts himself in an even worse situation as his feet are caught between the ropes. Ratings now finds himself in the Tree of Woe position and Spaz calls for the crowd to get behind him for his next attack. The audience cheer while Spaz backs up towards the bottom left ring corner. He dashes towards the vulnerable Ratings and connects with a dropkick to the face. Ratings fights to keep conscious while upside down as Spaz signals to the crowd for one more dropkick, pleasing the fans even more. Returning to the ring corner from before, he makes another run towards Ratings and goes to hit him in the face with another dropkick. Unfortunately this time, Ratings is able to recover long enough to pull himself up and evade the attack at the last second. Even worse, not only did Spaz miss but his braced right knee clipped against the ring post. The EWT fans look on with concern as Spaz holds knee, groaning in pain. Ratings climbs down from the top turnbuckle and lands outside the ring, gathering his bearings. He then notices Spaz favoring his knee and he acts quickly to seize the opportunity. He grabs the wounded leg and slams it against the ring post, to which Spaz lets out a cry of pain from. Ratings goes to do the move again but Spaz is able to kick him away and into the barricade behind him using both his bad and good leg. With Ratings dazed, Spaz rolls out of the ring and makes his way over to his opponent, walking with a slight limp on the right leg. Ratings goes for a punch but Spaz blocks it and slams him face first into the announce table. He smashes his face into again and goes for a third time but Ratings blocks the attempt and elbows Spaz in the stomach. Spaz reels in the direction of the disassembled staircase Ratings kicked apart earlier in the match with Ratings following him. Just before Ratings grabs him, Spaz is able to catch him with a drop toehold that drives Ratings’ face into the solid steel.
Joey: “And Ratings goes face first into the steel steps. That will no doubt hurt his chances of landing on the cover of GQ someday.”
JBL: “You can win the match with a damaged face but I can’t say the same for a wounded leg. If Spaz wants to win this match he needs to do it fast.”
The announcer’s words of wisdom appear to fall of deaf ears however as Spaz eyes the concrete floor exposed earlier. He gets to his feet and pulls Ratings up into a powerbomb/piledriver position while standing on the bottom half of the 2-piece steel steps. The crowd cheers, knowing what Spaz is going to do next.
Joey: “Wait a minute! Don’t tell me Spaz is going for the Shockwave onto the concrete!”
JBL: “What the hell is he thinking!? He’ll ruin Ratings’ career! It might even kill him!”
Showing no remorse, Spaz goes to lift Ratings’ up but as he does, a sharp pain shoots up his right leg. Spaz winces in pain, dropping his guard long enough for Ratings to backdrop him onto the concrete.
Joey: “BACK FIRST ONTO THE CONCRETE GOES SPAZ and he is in a bad way right now.”
The audience show great concern for Spaz as the Aussie lays motionless on the cold cement. After catching a breather, Ratings picks up Spaz and slides him back into the ring. With Spaz rolling onto my stomach, Ratings climbs up to the apron and performs a slingshot elbow drop right on the spine of Spaz. Ratings rolls Spaz over and covers him for the pin.
1… 2…
Spaz kicks out. Ratings then begins to target the wounded leg of Spaz, dropping elbows onto the leg. He becomes more malicious as he begins to remove the knee brace, ignoring the pleas from the referee and the recovering Spaz. Afterwards, Ratings gives the knee a swift kick followed by another, both causing Spaz to scream in pain. Ratings forces Spaz’s leg to lay flat on the canvas as he proceeds to perform a handstand while balancing on the leg. Seconds later, he comes back down smashing both of his knees into the injured one of Spaz. Spaz writhes in agony, clutching his knee. Ratings with another pin attempt.
1… 2…
Two count. Ratings continues to focus entirely on Spaz’s right knee. After working on it with a barrage of attacks, Ratings applies a leg lock for a possible victory by submission.
Joey: “And Ratings with the leg lock on Spaz. He could tap out any second now.”
JBL: “It is a basic move but in this situation, it is very effective.”
Crying out in a tone of anguish, Spaz shakes his head as the ref asks him if he wants to tap out, refusing to give up. Unfortunately from the Australian native, it looks like the pain is causing him to lose conscious. He begins to drift downwards until both his shoulders are flat on the mat. The ref quickly gets down on all fours and counts the pinning predicament.
1… 2…
Spaz manages to pick himself up before the ref slaps the mat for a 3rd time. Still it isn’t long until Spaz falls back down again. The ref counts the 2nd pinfall attempt.
1… 2…
Spaz gets his shoulder up again. Just as things are really looking bad for Spaz, the crowd gets behind him, cheering his name and all the effort he has put into this match. It gives him a second rush of energy and he slowly but surely pulls himself to the ropes and the ref calls for a rope break. Ratings stands up and picks Spaz up to his feet. He goes for an Irish whip but Spaz counters with an Irish whip of his own. After Ratings hits the ropes, Spaz tries to hit him with a clothesline but Ratings ducks the attack and continues to run towards the ropes behind Spaz. Spaz turns around just in time to see Ratings perform a springboard handstand a la Tajiri and knocks down Spaz with a wheelkick. Ratings with another pin.
1… 2…
No! Spaz kicks out again. Ratings drags Spaz up to his feet and forces him into the bottom right ring corner. Clutching his opponent’s wrist, Ratings Irish whips Spaz to the to the top left ring corner as hard as he can. Spaz hits the turnbuckles so hard that he is knocked face first into the canvas. He picks himself up just in time for Ratings to perform a frontflip towards him and hit Spaz with a Shining Wizard in one fluid motion.
JBL: “Look at that! That’s talent, Joey! That’s why the call him Ratings!”
Joey: “Very impressive variation of the Shining Wizard right there by Rating! That could be it for Spaz!”
Ratings with the pin.
1… 2…
Joey: “No! Spaz kicks out at two. It looks like he still has fuel in the tank.”
JBL: “You know, we talk about how Spaz is like the next Chris Benoit. But when I look at Ratings, I don’t see a next, I see a first! Throughout the generations of our business, there has always been a small group who strived to be original and stand out from the rest. I’m talking about guys like Ric Flair, Stone Cold, The Undertaker, The Rock and Shawn Michaels. They were unique, they were out of the ordinary and they became legends in this business. And what a match this has been Joey! Both men show no signs of stopping and damn it, it make me proud to be involved in this business.”
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:23:51 GMT -5
Ratings picks Spaz up again and pushes him into the left ring corner. After some stiff rights to the forehead, Ratings hoists his opponent up to the top turnbuckle. After giving Spaz a hard slap across the face, Ratings climbs to the top turnbuckle as well and sets his opponent for a superplex. Ratings tries to proceed with the move, but Spaz begins to fight back with some punches to the ribs, stunning Ratings. Spaz holds Ratings head with both his hands and hits him with a headbutt. The force from the shot is enough to knock Ratings off the top turnbuckle and land back first onto the canvas below. With Ratings in a motionless daze, Spaz—with his bad leg and back—stands upright on the top turnbuckle looking down at his opponent. He looks to the crowd who naturally cheer for him in support.
Joey: “W-Wait a minute, what is Spaz doing? No… no, don’t tell me he’s thinking about doing…”
Before the announcer can even finish his sentence, Spaz leaps off the top turnbuckle and performs a perfect SHOOTING STAR PRESS. Unfortunately for him, Ratings had the move scouted and the billionaire offspring is able to recover long enough to roll out of the way before Spaz connects. Spaz lands hard on the mat, stomach first. Not one member of audience is seated as all eyes are focused in the ring where the two wrestlers are laid out and the referee begins to count to ten to see if either of them have enough to get back to their feet. Ratings is the first to move and the exhausted superstar slowly crawls over to Spaz, rolls him over onto his back and drapes one arm over his chest. A weak pin attempt, but good enough for the ref to count it.
1… 2…
…NO! Spaz kicks out and the EWT spectators go wild. Ratings meanwhile look around hopeless at first. No matter how many times his opponent falls, Spaz won’t stay down. Showing obvious signs of fatigue, Ratings slowly picks Spaz up and hits him with a scoop slam. Spaz is laid out before the top left ring corner which Ratings begins to scale up to the top turnbuckle, his back facing the assumed unconscious Spaz. To the shock of everyone however, as soon as Ratings stands upright on the top turnbuckle, Spaz quickly stands up and runs up to where Ratings stands a la Kurt Angle and TAKES RATINGS DOWN WITH A RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX FROM THE TOP!!!
Joey: “HO~LY S***!!! SPAZ JUST HIT A GERMAN SUPLEX FROM THE TOP AND RATINGS IS OUT COLD!!!”
JBL: “Never in my life have I ever seen something like that!”
The audience seem to agree with Joey’s exclamation as they begin to chant “HOLY S***” while pumping their fists in approval. After almost a minute, Spaz slowly raises his head and looks at the possibly unconscious Ratings. Much like his opponent before, Spaz begins to inch his way towards his fallen enemy with one hand—the other is holding his aggravated right knee—and drapes one arm over his chest.
1…
2…
Joey: 3-NO!!! RATINGS KICKED OUT! HOW IN THE HELL WAS ABLE TO DO SO IS BEYOND ME!!!”
JBL: “What a match we are witnessing, Joey! What. A. Match.”
With the little energy he has left, Spaz begins to pulls Ratings up to his feet, but his opponent surprises him with a couple of shots to the stomach. With Spaz temporarily stunned, Ratings runs to the ropes for added momentum for whatever move he has up his sleeve. His chance to attack never comes though as Spaz catches him in and hits him with a overhead belly to belly suplex. In an impressive display of gymnastic abilities however, Ratings lands on his feet and hits Spaz with the Pele kick! The move actually draws some applause from the audience for the hated EWT wrestler, those cheers of respect turn to boos as Ratings covers Spaz to finally bring this match to an end.
1…
2…
NO!!! Spaz kicks out. Ratings is completely shocked by this turn of events and it soon boils into rage as he begins to scream at the referee about an assumed slow count. Once he realizes that arguing with the official will get him nowhere, Ratings runs his hands through his sweat dripping hair and approaches the top right ring corner. Once there, he begins to shout at Spaz to stand. The intensity inside the arena reaches a new high as the fans no doubt wonder what move Ratings is planning next. Suddenly Ratings gives a immediate clue of what his next move will be:
He grabs the top rope to the right of him with both hands and begins to stomp his left foot against the mat as hard as he can.
Joey: “Oh my… Oh no! He’s not getting ready to do what I thinks he’s getting ready to do, is he!?”
JBL: “He sure is, Joey! He’s cuing up the band! He’s doing the sound check! He’s getting ready to hit Spaz with some Sweet Chin Music! Or in this case, SWEET CHIN MUZAK!!!”
Joey: “An ode to his friend: The 2007 EWT Hall of Fame Inductee, “The Heartbreak Hitman” Bret Michaels! If he hits this, it is over!”
The stomping picks up to a quicker pace as Spaz begins to stir and rise to his feet. In a seemingly blind daze, Spaz stumbles around until he within Ratings’ crossfire and the Palm Springs Playboy makes his move. He shuffles quickly to the center of the ring where is Spaz is and aims his left boot up to his chin. It was suppose to be Spaz’s time to feel the music, but the only sounds that occurred were cheers of the EWT fans as Spaz is able to catch Ratings’ boot at the last second. With Spaz holding his left leg, Ratings finds himself in a bad position, struggling to maintain balance on his free right leg. Spaz quickly pushes the leg upwards that sends Ratings into the air. The heel tries to counter by doing a backflip in the air, all while hoping to land on his feet. Before his toes even touch the canvas however, Ratings’ clock is cleaned by Spaz as the Aussie nails him with a clothesline while he was airborne. Once again, both Spaz and Ratings are down on the mat; their bodies almost at their limit. The audience eagerly await for the first sign of life from the two immobile wrestlers. Almost simultaneously, both men begin to get back on their feet. Along the way, Ratings throws a punch to the face of Spaz that connects, to which Spaz replies with a stinging chop across the chest. Ratings with another punch, and Spaz with another knife edge chop to the chest. Ratings throws another punch but Spaz blocks it and chops his chest again, knocking Ratings off balance and into the top right ring corner. Spaz shows no mercy and begins to chop the chest slowly and repeatedly, each blow more powerful than the last. The crowd cheers louder and louder after each chop while the seemingly rejuvenated Spaz becomes more fired up than ever before. For almost a minute and a half, Spaz continues his onslaught of knife edge chops, torturing Ratings who lets out a cry of agony after each strike. After one finally chop that can be heard even from the nosebleed seats of the arena, Spaz screams a intense war cry that pumps the audience up even more. Ratings meanwhile quivers in pain, his chest as red as a vintage red wine and covered in numerous small cuts and bruises.
Joey: “Jeez! Look at the chest of Ratings. JBL, why don’t you explain how painful those chops are.”
JBL: “They are as painful as they come. They hurt, they burn, they sting and they take forever to heal. That right there is the one thing I DON’T miss since retiring from the ring.”
Even with his chest in burning pain, Ratings bolts out of the corner to attack Spaz but the Aussie catches him with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Ratings gets back to his feet in time for Spaz to kick him in the stomach and performs the Three Amigos suplex combination.
Joey: “There it is! The Three Amigos, a tribute to the late great Eddie Guerrero!”
JBL: “Latino Heat’s influence knows no bounds in the wrestling world. His name and legacy is respected everywhere and EWT is no exception.”
The series of suplexs has done a number on Ratings who foolishly stands up and stumbles back into Spaz who takes him down with a DDT. Spaz covers Ratings and hooks the leg while the ref counts the pin.
1… 2… NO! Ratings pops his shoulder up, kicking out of the pin. With sweat dropping out of every pore on his body, Spaz shakes his head, surprised that his opponent is still fighting. He begins to pick Ratings up to his feet but the “It” Athlete powers his way out of his grip and throws a wild punch at Spaz. Spaz evades the desperate maneuver and locks his wrists around Ratings waist and connects with not three, not four, but five rolling German suplexes. With Ratings possibly knocked out, Spaz gives the signal to the crowd that he is ending this match now. The crowd cheers as Spaz picks Ratings up the piledriver/powerbomb position and lifts up.
Joey: “Here it comes! The Shockwave! Spaz is going for the Shockwave!”
JBL: “If he hits this, this is match is over!”
Ratings won’t go down without a fight however as he begins to kick his legs wildly in a attempt to break himself free. As luck would have it, one of his kicks accidentally strikes the referee in the head and knocking him out cold. Ratings is able to finally break free from Spaz and lands behind the Australian. Spaz turns to face his opponent, but is momentarily distracted when he sees the referee unconscious in the ring. One moment of distraction was all Ratings needed as he hits Spaz with a blatant low blow from behind. The crowd boos this act of unsportsmanlike conduct while the reeling Spaz turns to face his attacker. By the time he turns around, Ratings has already hit the ropes and is charging right towards him. In too much pain to defend himself or counter, Spaz is left helpless for Ratings to perform and connect with the charging STO best known as “The Finale”: Ratings’ finishing move.
Joey: “AGH! The Finale! Ratings has just floored Spaz with the Finale!”
JBL: “That’s it, it is over! Ratings is going to walk out of Crap-a-Mania as the victor!”
Joey: “I hate to sound like your co-host, JBL, but DAMN IT NOT THIS WAY!!!”
Ratings covers Spaz and waits for the referee to count the pin. But the expected sound of a hand slapping the ring’s canvas three times does not come. Ratings sits up and looks around until he finally spots the referee of the match, who had not yet recovered—or regain conscious—since the errant kick moments earlier. In a state of frustrated panic, Ratings begins to shake the ref and scream at him to wake up. But his attempts to revive the inactive referee do nothing to better his current situation. Ratings looks around hopelessly for some sort of assistance. As his eyes catch a glimpse at the entrance ramp, he breathes a sign of relief. There on the stage is EWT Commissioner/General Manager, Toom E. Dangerously, literally dragging another EWT referee down the ramp. He begins to bark orders at the intimidated official and shoves him in the direction of the ring. Knowing that his job is on the line in this situation, the referee dashes down the aisle towards the ring while Toom E. Dangerously returns to the back.
Joey: “That was Toom E. Dangerously just now practically forcing an EWT official to come down and count the pin! This is all part of his personal vendetta against Spaz!”
JBL: “He can sell out this arena, he can break pay-per-view buy rate records but none of that will mean nothing if Spaz were to win here tonight!”
As soon as the ref slides into the ring, Ratings covers Spaz for the pin.
One…
Two…
Thr-NO!!!
Spaz kicks out! Completely shocked at first, the crowd erupt in a feverish roar of approval. Ratings meanwhile is in a state of complete dismay; his eyes and mouth wide open. He slowly looks up at the “new” referee and his blood begins to boil. Like a volcano, Ratings grabs the referee by the shirt collar and pushes him against the turnbuckles in the bottom left corner.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:25:03 GMT -5
“THREE! THAT WAS THREE YOU SON OF A B****!!!” He screams at the referee. The ref tries his best to explain his call but receives a shove by Ratings. Pushed to his edge, the agitated referee shoves Ratings back, drawing some cheers from the crowd. He then begins to remind Ratings that HE is the official and HE calls the shot. Surprised by the smaller man’s retaliation, Ratings seems to begin to comply with the official. That is until he knocks him out cold with a superkick to the jaw. The booing audience can only watch in disgust as Ratings picks up the referee and tosses him over the top rope to the outside, where the official lands back first with a sickening thud. Ratings turns his attention back to Spaz, who had been slowly recovering from “The Finale” earlier during Ratings assault on the poor referee. Ratings tries to maintain the control of the match by kicking Spaz in the stomach while he is about to stand up straight. Ratings pushes Spaz against the ropes behind him and Irish whips him to the opposite side of the ring. Spaz hits that set of ropes and seems unable to do anything as Ratings meets him in the center of the ring where the “Palm Spring Playboy” goes for a hurricanrana. But to the delight of the entire audience, Spaz is able to catch Ratings before he can complete the move and pulls him back up in a powerbomb lift position. Everyone knew what was coming next and Spaz did not disappoint them as he hits Ratings with THE SHOCKWAVE!!!
Joey: “Shockwave by Spaz! That has to be it!”
JBL: “Dangerously must be going nuclear in the back!”
With his sore knee and exhausted body, Spaz covers Ratings just as the original referee of the match comes to. The ref slowly pulls himself over to where Spaz has Ratings pinned—each second that goes by is another second for Ratings to regain conscious. Finally, what seemed to be a lifetime, the referee makes to the two wrestlers and begins to hit the mat with his hand.
1…
2…
3… NO!!!
Just before the ref’s hand hits the canvas for the third time, Ratings shocks the entire building by getting his shoulder up.
Joey: “I do not believe it! Ratings has kicked out of the Shockwave!”
JBL: “Ha-Ha! Both men have kicked each other’s best move! They’ve been fighting for almost an hour and neither of them have shown any signs of quitting. Joey, what we are witnessing here is a certified classic!”
Joey: “I cannot argue with that, JBL! What a privilege it has been to call this match!”
Spaz rolls off Ratings and stares at the lights above. Both are in a state of disbelief on how hard the other is pushing them. Much like what happened earlier in the match both men stand almost at the exact same time. Spaz looks to Ratings and notices that the wrestler has his back turned against him. Spaz capitalizes this chance to go for another German suplex. But as he releases Ratings, the heel wrestler flips while in the air and lands on his feet. Ratings surprises Spaz with a dropkick to the back that knocks the Australian forward into the ropes. After bouncing chest first into the cables, Spaz is taken down by Ratings in a backslide pinning maneuver. While this may be a basic wrestling move, Ratings is fortunate enough to have the flexibility and distance to reach the ropes behind him where he sets his feet atop to add leverage for the pin. All of this goes unbeknownst to the referee who is still reeling from the kick earlier and is too busy counting the pin to notice.
Joey: “W-Wait a second! RATINGS IS USING THE ROPES! DON’T TELL ME…”
1…
2…
3!!!
Joey: “NO, NO, NO!!!”
The bell rings as “Keep On Liftin’” begins to play while the crowd stand in complete shock. Ratings quickly rolls outside the ring and presses his back against the ringside barricade, breathing heavily. Back in the ring, Spaz looks around completely confused on what had just happened. He looks to the referee for answers but the official had already left the ring to raise the arm of Ratings while Toni Garcya makes the match’s outcome official. Garcya: “Here is your winner… RATINGS!!!”
Joey: “I don’t believe it! We watched these two men battle it out for almost one hour and Ratings has to taint this classic by winning the way he did!”
JBL: “Enough of the sob story, Joey. The important thing is that Ratings has defeated Spaz at Crap-a-Mania!!! And he could not be happier!”
Sure enough, Ratings acts as if he had scored the winning goal at the World Cup Final. Back in the ring, a dejected Spaz shakes his head in disappointment about the lost and how the match was won. As Ratings backs up the aisle to the entrance stage, fellow Elite members Maxx Awesome and Erik Majors come down the aisle and join their friend and stablemate in the celebration with high fives and hugs. Just as the three turn to leave, Ratings stops and taps his associates on the shoulders.
“Wait, wait, wait!” Ratings tells them. “We’re not done yet. You two were banned from the match… but the match is over.”
All three Elite members flash a sinister smile as they look towards Spaz. All the former EWT Heavyweight Champion can do is lower his head while the three Elite members surround the ring like a pack of hyenas. But if one is to fall, why not go down fighting. That is the attitude that Spaz accepts and as he raises his head, his eyes burn with a fire that is ready for a fight. Maxx is the first to enter the ring and is taken down by Spaz with a clothesline. Spaz then turns his attention to Majors getting in the ring and quickly knocks him off the apron. Finally, Ratings enters the ring and after a missed clothesline is taken down with a release German suplex by Spaz.
Joey: “Look at this now! Even with the odds against him, Spaz continues to fight.”
JBL: “Damn it kid, stop being a hero and just take the beating before you really piss them off!”
Spaz continues to fight off the trio until Maxx gets in a chop block to his right leg. Spaz winces as his right knee buckles and is soon at the mercy of Ratings, Maxx and Majors as all three stomp him repeatedly. As the crowd boos while maintaining a small hope that someone will come to Spaz’s aid, Ratings exits the ring and heads to the timekeeper’s table. He shoves Toni Garcya aside and takes the steel chair that the announcer was sitting in. With the foreign object in his possession, Ratings slides back into the ring where Maxx and Erik hold the helpless Spaz—blood trickling down from his mouth—by his arms and on both knees. Ratings gets up close to Spaz’s face and grabs him by the chin, forcing the Aussie to look him in the eyes while he states the following:
“What did I tell you Spaz!? Huh!? What did I tell you!? YOU MESS WITH ME, YOU MESS WITH THE ELITE!!!”
Spaz’s reply comes in the form of saliva and blood as he spits in Ratings face. Ratings pauses for a few seconds before wiping the face clean. He looks back at Spaz who glares back with a “Just get this over with” expression. Just as Ratings winds up to slam the chair over Spaz’s skull, a familiar individual runs down to the ring from the back and grabs the chair that Ratings had over his head. Suddenly disarmed, Ratings turns to face the man who decided to interfere in this act of violence. It becomes well aware to everyone in the arena who this person is.
Joey: “W-Wait a second… that’s SPYKE JOHANNSON!!! Has Spyke come here to put an end to this madness?”
JBL: “What the hell is he doing? I thought he hated Spaz’s guts. He has no right being here.”
Dressed in blue jeans with some sort of black rag or shirt hanging out of the back pocket and a black buttoned-up dress shirt, Spyke holds the chair and stares at Ratings with emotionless eyes. Ratings glares back and demands answers while Maxx Awesome and Erik Majors release Spaz and prepare themselves for a possible fight. Spyke’s gaze shifts towards his former comrade, Spaz, who looks back up at the Swede with a similar empty glare. They have a brief stare down until Spyke looks to Ratings and points to himself, taps the steel chair he carries and then points to Spaz. The gestures were easy for Ratings to understand and with a sick grin he extends towards Spyke, which the unshaven Swedish accepts. The audience begins to direct their hatred towards the man they onced cheered as it appears that Spyke’s turn colors have been shown.
Joey: “Damn it… I didn’t want to believe it but it looks like it is official: Spyke has joined forces with Toom E. Dangerously and the Elite.”
JBL: “If you can’t beat them, might as well join them, Styles. It is a clichéd saying, but maybe Spaz should have followed Spyke’s example!”
Joey: “I can’t believe what is happening! It makes me sick!”
Watching his current nemesis and former friend shake leaves Spaz in complete disgust. Erik Majors lifts Spaz up to his feet and holds him before the chair wielding Spyke, while Maxx begins to trash talk the fallen wrestler while putting himself in perfect view of the upcoming chair shot. Feeling that Spyke will take care of the rest, Ratings climbs to the top turnbuckle at the bottom left ring corner and poses to the booing crowd. With Spyke slamming the chair against the ring canvas as he gets ready to attack, Spaz simply closes his eyes and lowers his head, accepting his fate. Finally Spyke makes his move and smashes the chair over the skull of… MAXX AWESOME!!?
Joey: “WHAT!?”
JBL: “What the hell is he doing!?”
Seeing his tag partner laid out cold, Erik Majors shoves Spaz aside and charges towards Spyke. But the Swede is ready for him and slams the chair over his head as well. The crowd goes berserk over what has just occurred and the only one who is unaware of what has transpired is Ratings, who believes the previous chair shots were of that of steel crashing against the skull of Spaz. Once he steps down and turns, it finally hits him. Maxx Awesome is down. Erik Majors is down. Spaz is still conscious and Spyke Johannson stands before him with a dented chair and a smile that reads “Gotcha”. Ratings begins to plead with Johannson for remorse but Spyke will have not of that as he swings the chair at him. Ratings ducks the shot and runs forward where Spaz rises to his feet, waiting for him. Startled by his opponent’s recovery, Ratings blindly turns back around in time for Spyke to bend the chair over his head. The blow sends Ratings into a stupor and he unintentionally turns back around in Spaz’s direction. One kick to the stomach later, Spaz lifts Ratings up and connects with the Shockwave! The entire arena is on their feet applauding. Spaz looks down at the unconscious Ratings before he looks up at Spyke. The Swede reaches behind him and pulls out the black shirt hanging out from his back pocket and tosses it to Spaz. Confused, Spaz takes holds up the shirt and looks at the front of it. What he saw made his eyes widen and smile brightly. He looks back at Spyke who smiles back at him while he begins to unbutton his shirt. He then reveals the 2nd shirt he had on underneath, which also happens to be the same shirt he gave to Spaz:
G.T. GENERATION TECH
The audience goes crazy as the both Spaz and Spyke high five and hug, what was once thought of being the final nail in the coffin of their friendship turns out to be the reunion of the year.
Joey: (high pitch voice) “I DON’T BELIEVE IT!!! GENERATION TECH IS BACK!”
JBL: “What a shocker! Just when it seemed like Spyke had officially turned, he surprises us all!”
Joey: “This will go down as one of the greatest moments in Crap-a-Mania history! Spaz and Spyke together once again!”
The two friends pose for the cheering crowd while the familiar Generation Tech theme song blares through the speakers. Having regained conscious but not without a splitting headache, Maxx Awesome and Erik Majors pull the unconscious Ratings to the outside of the ring and help him to the back. As they reach the entrance stage, they are met by Toom E. Dangerously, who is furious at what had just happened. He looks over at the three Elite members then looks to the ring, his hate-filled eyes glaring at Spaz and Spyke. The two parties have a war of words consisting of trash talking before the four men on the stage head to the back, leaving the reunited duo to bask in the glory that is Crap-a-Mania.
Joey: “Ratings and the Elite may have won the battle, but this war had just started. SPAZ AND SPYKE UNITED ONCE AGAIN!!! GENERATION TECH LIVES!!!!”
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:25:26 GMT -5
* Cut backstage to where we see 8Syxx standing with Billy “the Virgin” Ubermark.*
8Syxx: Welcome to the Hall of Fame Ubermark. Just imagine, now you may just wind up getting laid.
Billy: That’s not funny man. That’s the kind of Virgin Discrimination that plagues society today & sickens me. Besides, how do you know I haven’t made it with a girl yet? I mean, I am a member of the Hall of Fame now. Chicks dig me. In fact, last night I had me a piece of the pie.
8Syxx: Ok Jason Biggs, whatever. You had a piece of the American pie. I hope yer dad didn’t walk in on you again while you were on the counter.
Billy: That’s messed up. In fact, my girl is with my suitcase, waiting for me to leave this dump so we can have some fun again.
* You Gene walks in with a blow up doll.*
You Gene: I found this in the hallway. What’s all this white stuff around the mouth?
* Ubermark grabs the doll & storms out of the room as 8Syxx laughs. Ubermark shoves You Gene.*
You Gene: What I do?
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:26:20 GMT -5
We cut to a shot of the very excited Sesame Place crowd as we see the Extinction Chamber having just now been assembled. The Menacing structure is quite large... looking like a better version of the Kennel from Hell in short. An announcer walks right to the outside of the chamber, not wanting to really be inside that thing.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen... the following contest is for the Ox Division Championship and it is the first ever EXTINCTION CHAMBER MATCH! Here are the rules. The two competitors will start inside the center cage, where must somehow exit and make it to the next much larger cage. Also in this area, each man will have four representatives, to serve to assist there allies. These representatives CANNOT enter the center cage or their man will be disqualified. The match can only end when one man exits the chamber completely. This man will then be the Ox Division Champion!
Broken Wings starts up first, as the crowd boos immensely, as Crauswell slowly walks out, surrounded by his furry allies, wearing his robe and carrying the Ox Division belt loosely by the strap, not caring about the thing currently a damn bit. The five... men start heading down towards the chamber.
Announcer: Introducing the challenger, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 272 pounds...Crauswell!
The referee opens up the chamber door, as Crauswell doesn't even acknowledge this guy, as he walks over, brushing a palm gently over the barbed wire, before turning towards the Toomitron, simply nodding and removing his robe, as he steps into the chamber, arms folded as the crowd continues booing, the furry half heartedly chucking the Ox Division belt aside, glaring over at the thing, as he kneels down waiting. Soon after, Square Dance by Eminem starts up as... Chance Confidence heads out, wearing his headset microphone, a cocky smirk on his face.
Chance: SHUT YOUR MOUTH AMETUER AND LET THE PRO SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE!!! Introducing Beaky's opponent... from the city of Los Angeles, he weighs in tonight at a magnificent 225 pounds, he IS THE CURRENT OX DIVISION CHAMPION... whether or not his belt is being held by a freak from the zoo crew, ladies and gentlemen... give it up for CASS...inova.
The crowd seems to forget about Cass' earlier actions and goes nuts as Cass struts out after, with the rest of his own representatives. They all head down towards the ring to a very nice reaction as Crauswell growls, simply watching as he crouches down. Cass and crew also enter the chamber, and Cass' representatives head towards the other side, looking across at their own furry adversaries. As they do this, Cass walks over to Crauswell instantly, snatching up the Ox Division title and shoving it right in his face. The furry does nothing, simply glaring back, as the bell sounds and Cass sets the title outside. The two step into the center, Crauswell unleashing a quick fist, which Cass answers with one of his own, the two quite eager to beat each other down. Crauswell eventually takes control, pushing Cass back with each punch, backing him into the cage, swinging again, which Cass ducks under, slipping behind and dropkicking Craus back first into the cage! Craus growls, turning around just in time to get a series of swift forearms to the skull, Cass whipping him to the other side, leaping up for a Calf Kick. Crauswell however slaps it away in mid run, Cass however immediately nipping back up, dropping for a quick sweep kick! Craus clutches his leg slightly, growling again as Cass focuses a few kicks on this same leg, grabbing it and looking for a Dragon Screw. Crauswell quickly ends that with a stiff punch to the skull, sending Cass staggering back. He grabs Cass by the neck, charging and looking to drive his face right into the steel, Cass stopping himself with a foot, then countering with a RVD style kick to the skull, the furry releasing again as Cass springs off the ropes for another kick, Crauswell catching it and dumping over with a back body drop, Cass however landing on his feet behind, delivering a nasty forearm to the back of the head again, before grabbing and leaping up for a jumping neckbreaker! Craus quickly throws him off though, Cass however rolling through, running off the ropes, Craus charging for a Yakuza kick, with Cass also under, stopping and taking him down by his unraised leg with a leg lace! Craus goes down as Cass grabs hold of this leg, going for a knee smash, Craus simply powering out with a forceful shove of the foot, sending Cass stumbling back as he rises up, charging once again, this time for a lariat. Cassinova sidesteps it quickly, snatching and grabbing this arm in an armbar. Crauswell simply counters with a swift knee to the gut, pulling up Cass and hitting a Snap Suplex! He quickly gets up, running off the ropes for a jumping knee drop across Cass's face. Cass however rolls out of the way, as Craus rolls back to his feet, turning around right into another Snap Suplex! Cass then pulls him back up by the neck, clinching on a Dragon Sleeper. Crauswell squirms a bit, quickly pushing out of it, then dropping down and taking Cass with a Snapmare. He pops back up, reaching down and slapping on a Dragon Sleeper of his own. Cass however uses his agility, flipping over and dropping behind, then taking Craus down with a Reverse DDT!
Craus hits the mat, growling as Cassinova runs off the ropes, coming back and delivering a double stomp across Crauswell's face! The furry groans a bit as he slowly sits up, Cass looking quite confident now as he steps in front, hitting a dropkick to the face, putting him back on his back Cass smiles, clapping for himself a bit, before getting up, Crauswell meanwhile following, as Cass grabs him by the neck, driving him down with an Implant DDT! The furry clutches at his neck slightly, as Cass strides over towards the exit of the cage, quickly starting to ascend. Crauswell notices this, quickly getting up and running over, grabbing Cass by an arm and yanking him off! Cass lands on his feet, punching once again as Craus face, grabbing him and then hitting a jawbreaker, sending the furry stumbling back, as he rears back, going for a shuffle side kick, which Craus quickly catches, spinning Cass around and right into a Backdrop Suplex! Cass groans, clutching slightly as his back now, as Craus rises up, glaring down, rolling him over with a foot, focusing some vicious stomps into the area, then reaching down, scooping Cass up in his arms, dropping him down for a Back Breaker. Cass groans slightly as Craus sets him back upright, delivering a powerful spinning forearm which sends him sailing down to the mat! He walks over, driving a few more vicious stomps right into his opponent's face, then grinding his foot right into it. Cassinova gasps in pain, as Crauswell steps off, pulling Cass up to both feet, delivering another powerful knee, hunching Cass over, then delivering some swift clubs to the back, eventually backing off the ropes, then charging for a scissors kick! Cass however counters, intersecting with a leaping clothesline! Both men go down, as Cass is first up, Craus quickly after. Cass starts unleashing some swift kicks to the sides, chest, and legs, staggering the furry again. He goes for a swift roundhouse kick, Crauswell however ducking this, grabbing Cass from behind, setting him up for an Atomic Drop, only to simply toss him across the ring, Cass landing hard on his back! he groans, sitting up, as Craus pursues, walking over and delivering from more swift clubs to the back of the neck, pulling Cassinova up in a sleeper now, tossing him overhead for a Sleeper Suplex! Cassinova however lands again on his feet, charging forwards for a gulldog, Craus however catching and bringing him up for a high angle backbreaker. Cass however hits a swift punch to the head, manuevering into a hurracanrana! Craus goes sailing forwards as Cass charges forwards, snapping off a second one! Craus goes back across the ring again, getting to his feet and growling, as Cass charges once more, Craus trying to cut him off with another standing lariat, but Cass slides underneath, hopping up and taking Craus down with a neckbreaker!
Craus groans as Cass once again heads over to the exit from this first cage, pulling the door open and getting a foot out, before Crauswell charges over, grabbing and flinging him away, Cass rolling along the mat, as he gets back to his feet. Crauswell growls, charging once again, damn near taking Cass's head off with a rolling clothesline! Cass groans, as Crauswell stomps over again, pulling Cassinova up, grabbing him by the neck and charging, driving his skull right into the damn thing! Cass's bounces hard off, as he clutches his face, rolling around on the mat. The furry walks over again, pulling Cass up and charging again, flinging him right into the steel! This time however, Cass manages to grab hold, instantly leaping back with a Moonsault! Crauswell catches him in mid air though, showing his power, as he hooks the arms, charging and then dropping Cass throat first for a Snake Eyes like move, Cassinova stumbling back and clutching the area, giving Crauswell enough time to walk over and with one hand, shove Cass face first into the cage! He groans, dropping back and clutching at his face again. Crauswell walks over, opening the cage door and thinking of stepping out, but then changing his mind, slamming the door shut and walking back over, pulling Cassinova back up by the throat, delivering a series of nasty throat thrusts, sending him stumbling back into a corner turnbuckle. He gets a few body shots in, before setting Cass atop the turnbuckle, pulling him up over his shoulders and charging, for a running powerslam! Cassinova however slips out, dropping behind and hitting a Edgo O Matic! Crauswell groans, clutching at the back of his now as Cass takes a few breathes, getting back up and checking his face for blood... luckily, there is none for now. Craus slowly rises to his feet afterwards, right into a Jumping Enziguri to the skull! Crauswell drops down on both knees as Cass is back up, charging and hitting a Shining Wizard, sending Craus face first into the mat now. The crowd cheers as Cass smiles, Craus now on all fours, as Cass charges full speed, leaping atop and connecting with the California Sunset!
The furry groans, clutching at his back as Cassinova rolls off, pulling his opponent up by the gryphon head, delivering some more powerful forearms to the face, backing up and charging, Craus lunging out and grabbing Cass for a Beak Buster, which he wriggles free off, dropping behind and taking him down with a Lungblower! The furry gasps a bit in pain, as Cassnova rolls out from underneath, hopping up, then coming down for a double leg drop across the back! Craus clutches further as Cassinova smiles, folding his arms, backing up, then running full speed, delivering a vicious running kick to the side, sending Craus rolling a bit! Cass smiles, pacing a bit, the furry rising, as Cassinova catches him with a swift quick to the back, followed by a few more, then grabbing him around the waist and driving him back first into the steel! Craus gasps a bit himself, Cassinova digging in and hitting some quick shoulder thrusts, springing back RVD, style, charging for a final one! Crauswell however manages to sidestep, Cass crashing shoulder first into the cage himself. The furry immediately pulls Cass over, holding him by the arm, driving some nasty shoulder tackles into his own now sore ones. He then spins him around, pulling him up, then driving him down with a Shoulder Breaker! Cassinova gasps himself, now clutching at them, Crauswell walking behind and leaning down, locking in a full nelson and pulling him up, then driving him down with a sit out Full Nelson Bomb! He then keeps hold, rising back up and spins around, finishing with a Dragon Suplex! Cassinova groans, clutching quite close at this area now as Crauswell glances down, looking quite pleased, as he pulls Cassinova up, grabbing him again and charging forward, trying to send him shoulder first into the cage! Cass however counters, instead sending the furry there! Crauswell groans, grasping his own slightly as Cass takes a quick breather, then leaps up, driving Craus skull first into the cage with a dropkick! The furry slams right into it, clutching now at his head, as he slowly rises up, turning around, walking right into a corkscrew spinning wheel kick off the top! Craus hits the mat hard, as Cassinova rises up, smiling again, as the furry slowly rises again, stumbling right into a Super Kick! He bounces back, now leaning against the ropes, Cass heading over quickly and blasting him with some more stiff punches, before whipping him off the ropes, charging and catching him as he comes back with a Tornado DDT! Craus's head bounces hard off the mat as he growls, clutching the neck again, as Cass rises up himself, walking over towards the exit, only for the furry to manage to grab him by the leg. holding him back.
Cass struggles to break free of his opponent's grip, trying to shake loose, but Craus gripping tight, eventually rising up, still holding on. Cass turns around, looking quite annoyed, going for an Enziguri, which Crauswell ducks, grabbing Cass from behind and hoisting him up, only for Cass to grab him in midair, bringing him down with another bulldog! Craus's skull bounces hard off the mat, as Cassinova signals to the crowd, rising up and grabbing the furry around the neck, leaping up for The California DreamDriver! However, Craus catches him in mid flip with a nasty knee to the spine, Cass groaning and landing back on his feet, the furry pushing him off, spinning him around and launching Cass with an overhead belly to belly! Cass however once again lands on his feet, spriinging to the top rope again, then leaping at a rising Crauswell with a cross body! Crauswell rolls through the impact, cradling Cass again in his arms as he stands again, hoisting Cass atop his shoulders, grimacing a bit at the pressure on his shoulders, rolling through and hitting the Steam Roller! He rolls back to his feet, looking down and eying the turnbuckle... then shaking his head and eying... the cage! He drags Cassinova over closer to it, as he quickly climbs up the side of it, reaching quite a high place, as he leaps down and falls for Taking Flight! Cassinova however gets the foot up, the furry's head bouncing completely off as he hits the mat! Cass meanwhile takes this chance, slowly rising up off the mat to his feet and nodding, walking over and positioning Craus himself, charging and springing off the top rope, then leaping atop the cage, then off for a Corkscrew Moonsault!
The crowd goes nuts as Cass connects, Crauswell gasping a bit in pain as the air gets driven out of him. Cass meanwhile gets back to his feet, looking pumped as Craus sits up, Cassinova unleashing a brutal kick right to his face, putting him back down... as he takes a quick breather, before walking over and heading once again towards the exit. He gets a foot on the outside, only to get shoved back in as Brandon, the skunk guy runs over and shoves him back in! The crowd boos as Cass looks back, suddenly out of nowhere The Reaper charging and taking the furry's head off with a vicious Lariat! Cass smirks, heading to exit completely, only to get pulled back in from behind, being spun around as Crauswell whips him back into the turnbuckle, charging after! Cass uses some great agility, springing to the top, leaping for a cross body, only to get rocked in the skull from a BRUTAL kick to the face in mid air! Cass groans, crumpling a bit and slamming to the mat as the furry glances down, pulling Cass up by the throat and hoisting him high, turning him upside down, then walking over, hanging his feet through two holes in the cage, as he dangles from there, a bit too dazed to do a damn thing about it. Craus then backs up, coming off the ropes, charging full speed and driving a vicious running boot right to the face! Cass yelps out in pain, as he grasps, guarding the area, Crauswell meanwhile walking over, pulling Cass forwards as he hangs, then driving him back first again into the steel! Cass slumps again, nearly motionless, as Crauswell simply pulls him off, setting him up for and hitting... a Ganso Bomb! Cass's head bounces hard off the mat as he lays motionless again, clutching at his neck now. The furry folds his arms, watching briefly, before turning and heading over to the exit himself, before stopping... shaking his head, walking over to a corner of the ring and then grabbing... the Ox Division belt. He slowly crouches down, lying in wait as Cass slowly rises up after awhile, the former champion then charging full speed, attempting to like he had before, take down the champion just like last time, only for Cass to sidestep him and fling him instead face first into the steel cage!
Craus bounces hard off as Cass continues to nurse the neck, walking over and looming above his opponent, who slowly starts to rise up now. Cass then springboards off the top rope, leaping and grabbing Craus and going for some Head Trauma! Craus however, manages to throw him off, as Cass lands on his feet, the furry lunging out for the Beak Buster, which Cass avoids, then charging full speed and connecting with the California DreamDriver! Crauswell's face bounces especially hard off the canvas as he groans... laying nearly completely still as Cass himself helps himself up, using the cage and slowly walking towards the exit. Crauswell notices, instantly starting to crawl after, still suffering the effects, as both men try to exit this first cage first. Cass doesn't notice, until the furry grabs ahold once again of a leg, which he quickly tries to pull free, but Craus refusing. So Cass instead leaps up, delivering a single legged drop across the back of Craus's neck, sucessfully freeing himself as he scrambles to his feet, diving to the outside and landing outside the first cage!
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