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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:27:03 GMT -5
The crowd cheers loudly, but Cass doesn't have much time to celebrate before "Boundin'" Bobby Jones (the kangaroo) runs behind him and absolutely kills him with a lariat! Cassinova drops and the crowd begins to boo wildly, before Christian Clearwater takes Bobby down with a spear! Christian mounts Bobby and begins laying in punches, before the remaining members from both sides charge eachother, causing all hell to break loose. Cassinova rolls around on the ground, and manages to get out of the scuffle, using the inner cage to help himself up. Cass manages to get to his feet while Team Nova and Team Furry beat the hell out of eachother, and turns around...
Right into the awaiting grasp of Crauswell. Craus lifts him with a chokeslam and looks to attempt a Beak Buster, but Cass gets out of it by kicking Crauswell in the face on the way up. Crauswell drops Cassinova and stumbles backwards, before Cass charges him as quickly as he can. He looks to tackle Crauswell, but Craus dodges just in time, grabbing the back of Cassinova's head and throwing him face first into the cage! Cassinova's face hits the barbed-wire wrapped cage with incredible force, and Crauswell follows this up with a quick kick to Cass' gut. With Cass bent over, Crauswell puts him in a standing headscissors, and flips him on his back in a crucifix powerbomb position. Cassinova struggles, but can't get free in time to avoid Crauswell tossing him back first into the cage once more! Cassinova screams out in agony and slumps to the ground, effectively tangling his hair with the barbed-wire in the process. Crauswell notices, and doesn't hesitate before lifting Cass to feet and tearing his body away from the cage!
Cassinova yells out once more as some of his hair is ripped out (not enough to notice, but enough to hurt like hell), and Crauswell lifts him in a gorilla press position. After a while of kicking, Cassinova manages to slip out behind Crauswell, grabbing his head and dropping with a reverse DDT! Cassinova slowly stands up, and has enough instinct to see an oncoming Maultolov Grimpaws (the bear) and backdrop him into the cage! Maultolov hits the cage hard and falls on his head, while Mista Phreeze picks up Crauswell. Phreeze flips Crauswell off before jumping back and attempting to kick his head off with the Chin Chilla, but Crauswell catches foot and grabs his throat, lifting and planting him with a Beak Buster! Phreeze is about out of it as Cassinova attempts to fend off Bobby Jones once more, with Crauswell in a punch-off with The Reaper. Both of their jobs are made eaiser, once Christian Clearwater makes the save for Cassinova, and Rabido makes the save for Crauswell. Team Nova and Team Furry begin to fight once more, while Crauswell and Cassinova go back to blows. Cass ducks a hard hook by Crauswell, before coming back up with a vicious European uppercut. Crauswell stumbles backwards and turns around, before Cassinova sprints to him and jumps on his shoulders, flipping him with a reverse hurricanrana!
The move dumps Crauswell right on his head, and the crowd groans at the thought of how much damage the move must've caused. Cassinova slowly makes it to his feet and looks closely at the larger cage, wondering how he's going to climb out with all of the barbed-wire around it. He touches the cage a few times, instantly jerking his hand back each time at the feeling of the barbs puncturing his skin. He sighs and eventually decides to just go for it, and slowly reaches his hand toward the cage...
...Before Brandon (the skunk) grabs him from behind and applies Crauswell's Cross Face Gryphon Wing! Brandon holds the submission in as hard as he can, jerking Cassinova left and right as he does so. Cass fades a bit, but is saved when his brother kicks Brandon square in the balls! Brandon springs about a foot in the air from the kick, before falling to the ground in agony. The crowd laughs at his misfortune, and Christian picks him back up--only to do the exact same thing a second time. Brandon lays on the ground, holding his injured junk, while Christian points at laughs at him like the dudes from Jackass. Christian is cut off when he is suddenly grabbed from behind by the wolf, Rabido. Rabido spins him around and attempts a punch, but Christian ducks it and gets behind him. He then grabs him in a reverse DDT and looks to hit his Osaka Street Cutter--The LA Times! He attempts to lift Rabido, but the wolf fights it. Eventually, the wolf allows Christian to lift him, and even helps him by running up the side of the inner cage, before reversing the move into a Sliced Bread #2! Rabido nimbly hops up after putting Christian out, before Mista Phreeze absolutely kills him with a Chin Chilla!
Rabido flies about a foot backwards from the superkick, and meanwhile Cass has made it to his feet, and goes back to fighting Crauswell. The two have moved to the opposite side of space between the cages, so that the inner cage separates them from the lumberjacks. Crauswell attempts to throw Cass' face back into the cage, but Cass blocks with his foot before nailing an RVD style kick to Craus' face. Crauswell lets go of him, and Cassinova immediately grabs him and throws him into the cage! Crauswell hits it, causing some of his feathers and cloth to get caught in the barbed-wire. When he falls to the ground, some of the outer layers of his suit rips off and stays on the cage. This amuses Cassinova, who lifts Crauswell back up and throws him into the cage yet again--backwards this time. Crauswell's suit rips once more, with more pieces of cloth and synthetic feathers clinging to the cage. Cass attempts to lift Crauswell up one last time, but Crauswell rakes the eyes and picks Cassinova up in a gorilla press slam, before dropping him on his shoulders and jumping back with a Samoan drop!
After dropping Cassinova on his spine and possibly damaging his ribs more so than they already are, Crauswell stands to a LOUD chorus of boos. Crauswell simply waves these people off and scans the cage, before attempting to climb it. His costume-covered hands and arms serve as padded gloves as he scales the cage without thinking about the barbed-wire. He gets a few feet up, before Chance Confidence notices him and sprints to the other side of the ring, getting under Crauswell's legs and powerbombing him into the inner cage's wall!
Crauswell hits the wall hard and slumps to the ground as Chance helps Cassinova to his feet. Chance points to the cage as Cass holds his neck and ribs simultaneously, to groggy to know what Chance is talking about. Finally, Chance slaps him and begins to yell.
Chance: I said, climb the cage!
Cassinova: What'd you hit me for?!
Chance: Just climb it before Feathers McFailure gets up!
Cassinova nods and attempts to climb the barbed-wire cage, but still can't because of the barbed-wire. He attempts to strategically place his handed where there are no barbs, but his vision is too blurry to see where they are and where they aren't. Chance tells him to hurry up, shortly before he is grabbed from behind by Maultolov and thrown into the inner cage wall! Cassinova turns around, only to fall victim to Maultolov's mafia kick, before the bear helps Crauswell to his feet. Maultolov then drags Chance back to the other side of the ring, where the lumberjacks are waging war. Crauswell kicks Cass once before beginning to climb the outer cage, trying to make his way out. He gets about halfway up and is climbing with good speed... before it's lights out in the arena.
It only takes a second for the lights to turn back on, and Crauswell is unphased. Well, that is, until he slowly looks to his left and notices that The Reaper is on the cage right beside him. The sudden shock causes Crauswell to lose and grip and fall back to the floor, landing on his feet. Soon after, The Reaper jumps off and turns, nailing Crauswell with a diving clothesline! Craus is down, and The Reaper looks to put him out. He lifts Crauswell up and sets him up for his Death Valley Driver--The Grave Digger. He lifts Crauswell on his shoulders and prepares to hit it, before Brandon comes out of nowhere and dropkicks The Reaper in the stomach! This knocks the air out of Reaper, giving Crauswell the opportunity to flip The Reaper backwards with a sick Crucifix Bomb! (Not to be confused with the Crucifix Powerbomb of course.) Following this Crucifix Pin-type maneuver, Brandon picks The Reaper back up and delivers a jumping piledriver!
The Reaper remains spiked, and Brandon simply pushes him over before attempting to go back and finish off the rest of Team Nova. He turns to go back around the cage, but instantly falls victim to a California DreamDriver, courtest of Cassinova! The crowd groans at the sickening thud, but cheer when Cassinova and Crauswell find eachother and go back to trading blows. A few back and forth rights are traded between the two, before Crauswell begins to get the best of Cass. He nails shot after shot and has Cass reeling, but he is suddenly interrupted by Mista Phreeze lifting him up from behind in an electric chair position!
Phreeze looks to deliver the Double Homicide, but Cass tells him to hold on. Cassinova walks over and reaches up, taking Crauswell's mask off! He tosses it to the ground and steps on it, before telling Phreeze to give Craus to him. Phreeze, tired and probably unable to deliver the move effectively, obliges. He transfers Crauswell to Cass' shoulders, and Cass doesn't hesitate before turning his back toward the outer cage and giving Crauswell a Splitting Headache right into it!
Crauswell slumps to the ground, and Cassinova seizes the opportunity. He slowly scans the barbed-wire covered outer cage once more, before shaking his head and waving it off while turning around. Mista Phreeze asks what he's doing, but Cassinova doesn't say anything as he begins to climb the inner cage instead! Phreeze looks confused, but is suddenly attacked from behind by Bobby Jones. They begin to fight, as Cass continues to make his way to the top. His hurt back, ribs, and neck make it hard for him to climb, so he does so slowly. Meanwhile, Crauswell makes it back to his feet and starts to climb the outside cage, making a break for freedom. Cassinova gets to the top of the inner cage, as Crauswell gets almost to the top of the outer one. Crauswell is still unmasked and is visibly bleeding, as is Cass. Crauswell hoists himself to the top of the outer cage as Cassinova stands on top of the inner cage, facing the outer one.
Team Nova and Team Furry have both stopped fighting, and all eyes are fixed on the top of the two cages. The crowd is dead silent, and all in the arena have come to a hush. Crauswell is now on top of the outer cage, and stops to catch his breath before climbing down. People start to boo as it appears that Crauswell is eventually going to climb all the way down to the floor and get the victory...
Before Cassinova takes a leap of faith and jumps from the top of the inner cage to the top of the outer one! His jump is almost too short, and he barely holds on to the top of the cage with his hands. He slowly pulls himself up as Crauswell watches in astonishment, before staddling the cage with Craus and trading punches with him. The two deck eachother multiple times, and the much stronger Crauswell gets the advantage again. He hits Cassinova with repeated blows until the LA prettyboy is groggy, before grabbing him by the throat and attempting to stand with him on top of the cage.
Cass struggles with Crauswell, not making it easy for Craus to lift him. Eventually, Chance Confidence has seen enough and begins to climb the outer cage! Not ready to let Crauswell win this one, Chance ignores the pain in his hands as he ascends the cage with ease and makes it to the top where Craus and Cass are fighting. Team Furry attempt to stop him, but they are cut off by Team Nova, and the brawl ensues once more. Meanwhile, Brandon manages to excape the brawl and quickly scales the cage, starting to fight with Cassinova! The stakes have skyrocketed as these four men practically fight for their lives on top of the monstrous cage, with Crauswell and Brandon getting the better of Cassinova and Chance Confidence. Brandon cocks back and attempts a hard punch, but Cassinova blocks it and uses his other hand to hit Brandon with an absolutely DEVASTATING backhand. This stuns Brandon enough for Cassinova to grab him and toss him off of the cage!
The crowd screams in terror as Brandon falls off and hits the ground between the two cages! Chants of "Holy S***!" start up, as Cass attempts to climb down the cage while Crauswell and Chance are fighting. Crauswell notices this and back elbows Cass in the face, causing him to bleed more profusely and almost lose his balance. Cassinova slumps backwards and is dangerously close to falling off of the cage. Meanwhile, Chance and Crauswell continue to trade punches. Crauswell gets a quick punch in before headbutting Chance in the face and tossing him off the cage as well!
Or not. Chance catches hold of the top of the cage and holds on for dear life. Crauswell attempts to get him to let go, even going as far as to stand and stomp in fingers. Chance somehow maintains his grip, but is slowly starting to slip. Crauswell notices and smirks slightly, before tilting his head down to Chance and spitting on him. This angers Chance more than you would believe, but he isn't in any position to do anything about it. Crauswell laughs at him and prepares to stomp on him one final time, before he is suddenly hit between the legs by Cassinova. The blow causes Crauswell to stumble and slip off the cage, grabbing onto it as he falls much like Chance Confidence did. Crauswell dangles with one hand, with his other hand on his... dangle, while Cassinova is about out of it. He uses what bit of strength he has left to help Chance up to the top of the cage, and Chance hasn't forgotten that he was spat on.
Chance looks down at Crauswell hanging by one arm, and a frown crosses his face. He bends over and picks Crauswell up by the waist, holding him similar to a how you would lift someone for a powerbomb, only he's at a more elevated surface than Crauswell. With this waistlock in, he nods at Cassinova before flipping off of the cage with the Confidence Breaker!!! The flip piledriver from the top of the freaking cage riles the fans into another "Holy S***!" chant, and both Team Nova and Team Furry stop fighting to check on their respective team members. Meanwhile, Cassinova weakly climbs down the outside of the cage, getting halfway down before fading into unconsciousness and letting go, falling the rest of the way down.
He doesn't even feel his body hit the floor. The fans go nuts as the bell rings and "Square Dance" begins to play, just as the announcer calls it!
Announcer: Here's your winner... and STILL EWT Ox-Division Champion... CASSINOVA!!!
The crowd is tearing the roof off of the arena, with men and women alike on their feet and applauding the fantastic, bloody match. Crauswell isn't conscious to hear the bad news, but Team Nova make their way to their feet and celebrate the victory. Crauswell's furry army know when they are beaten, and don't bother to further their assault on Cassinova's team. Cass begins to slowly awaken, and with the help of a referee makes it to his feet. He looks around with a confusedly and exhausted expression, before being handed his title belt. He holds it and stares at it, before lifting it up in the air--reminiscent of his title win last month. He looks up at the giant cage structure, and the first things he see are his team mates, posing on each corner. His brother Christian points to him, while Mista Phreeze folds his arms and nods his head to the music. The Reaper just sits there, and Chance Confidence nods once at Cass before smirking and playing to the crowd. The Furries tend to their fallen leader as paramedics quickly run out from the back to help anyone who needs it. Team Nova climbs to the outside of the Extinction Chamber and are immediately surrounded by the medical team, who examine them and ask them questions. A lot of other medical personnel unlock the door to the cage and run inside, immediately surrounding the furries as well. Crauswell is obviously unconscious, since he'd most likely dismantle the personnel if he were awake. Once the paramedics make sure Team Nova was okay, they finally get to Cassinova himself. They ask him about his condition and tell him that he'd probably need stitches, but he's too busy thinking about other things to listen. He pushes past the paramedics and slowly makes his way around the ring and up the ramp. He gets to the top of the ramp and stops, looking up in the air before looking down again. Shortly thereafter, he lifts the Ox-Division title in the air with his right arm to a standing ovation by the crowd, before lowering it and slowly heading to the back.
About five minutes later (after Team Nova has already left, with Chance Confidence getting a standing ovation as well, along with a "Thank You Chance!" chant), Crauswell is revived by the paramedics and his group of furries, and it doesn't take long for him to realize what has taken place. He yells out in anger before grabbing medical personnel left and right, throwing them into the cages and on the ground. His furries follow suit, and the beating of about 8 paramedics takes place right in front of the fans. Meanwhile, the Extinction Chamber is slowly raised back to the ceiling, and Brandon the skunk finally talks Crauswell into heading to the back. Crauswell looks around at all of his destruction, but doesn't feel that it is enough. He yells out once more before grabbing his mask stalking up the ramp, cursing at anything and everything. He too stops at the top of the ramp, receiving a chorus of boos with a few cheers out of respect. Ignoring the crowd reaction, he growls and makes his way to the back as well as the paramedics clear the ring.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:27:22 GMT -5
Schiavone: That was...wow!
JBL: And now they've got the cell set up, now we get to see just what this culminates to...
*Now around the ring is a cell, and two ladders nearby.*
Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for ONE fall! Introducing first...
*The lights go out, replaced by strobes and multicolors as Megadeth's "Peace Sells" plays over the speakers, and from the last match it was used in, the crowd easily recognizes who it's for. Out walk Thunder and Jupiter, clad in their trenchcoats and other entrance gear, greeted by quite a number of boos.*
Schiavone: Ugh...there they are!
Finkel: From San Diego, California, at a total combined weight of 456 pounds.......T...J...T!
JBL: Hey, what they did may not have been the greatest, but a team's gotta stick together. They're playing smart!
Schiavone: No matter how distasteful.
*Making haste, the two men move to the cell, standing right in front of the door. Their music dies down, as they stand idly.*
JBL: You got that right!
Finkel: And their opponents...
*"Believe Me" by Fort Minor blasts over the speakers, as the crowd initially pops. But nobody comes out. After fourty seconds, the music stops. They have yet to come out.*
JBL: YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! Where the hell are they?!
Schiavone: I don't know, John, but this is a family program!
*Upon this, Thunder and Jupiter walk over to the officiating table, and there is talk amongst them, the referee, Finkel, and the other officials. Thunder and Jupiter walk back to their positions with the ref.*
Finkel: Rated X has till the count of TEN to enter this match! If they do not, they FORFEIT this match!
JBL: Uh oh...
*The ref begins his count.*
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
6!
7!
8!
9!
10!
Schiavone: WHAT?
*The bell rings, and "Peace Sells" plays back over the speakers, the crowd booing VERY loudly and Thunder and Jupiter throwing up their arms as though they've won something huge in a dramatic turn of events.*
Finkel: Rated X...has been DISQUALIFIED! Therefore, here are your winners...T...J...T!
Schiavone: This is ridiculous! We're told we'll get a classic here...and THIS is what we get!?
JBL: Well, you gotta hand it to 'em. A win is a win, Schiavone!
*The two make their way up the ramp and backstage, trash being thrown their way as they flourish from this strange turn of events.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:27:57 GMT -5
*The lights go pitch black. This plainly startles the crowd, and they begin to become antsy as the lights stay off for a good thirty seconds. Forty... Forty-five...Some children begin to hug their parents, and even some of the tougher ones begin to look paranoid. Then the lights flicker, a faded, washed-out purple. The purple tinge becomes brighter, slowly mixing in with silver ones that have started.*
Schiavone: Looks like the start up of another match, but who could this be now entering the arena?
Styles: I give we'll just have to wait and see.
*Fog begins to seep in from beneath the ring and the entrance ramp. Then a flare in the center of the entrance way starts making a circle in the middle. It's a pale red but it's sparking into a brilliant shade of crimson. ".....To make you lose...Control'! The crowd knows this theme by now. The tempo steps up, blaring. The red on the form has now started to rise towards the top. The top of it is followed by a brilliant Fuschia mohawk.....quickly followed by the rest of the slightly insane Synthy Eris. Her outfit is slightly differing from the usual, as she's missing the red top usually spotted beneath her vest. Her full body is now in view, and her usual jeans are a pair of leather pants, although with the same designs.*
Finkel: The following match is scheduled for one fall! First, making her way to the ring... From Indianapolis, Indiana... Weighting in at 143 pounds.... SYN-THY ERRRRRRIS!!!
*She's encircled by a cage, and can be seen smirking as the lights quickly dims for a moment more. A wall of fire appears behind her when she steps out, arms held out and a smirking grin on her face. She's confident, and seems to actually be more cheerful then normal. The cage descends back as she walks down the ramp. Stepping into the ring, she faces all around her, simply wondering just what the hell Juri will do to attempt to beat that.*
JBL: I may not like the change of hairstyle, not that the old one was anything to sniff at, but I must say that I was impressed with that special entrance. Juri's going to have to try hard to top that.
Styles: My thoughts exactly, John. In this friendly rivalry that these two women find themselves in, it appears to be a constant comparison of on upsmanship. With both of them trying to prove to the other that they are the better competitor this night.
*The lights dim as a few spot lights focus down at the stage, right where a band is waiting. In seconds, the opening riff of "Rose" plays. The packed arena cheers, as they soak in the live theme of the Broken Rose of EWT, and they watch the lowest aisles for Juri. The lights flicker into a strobe effect and from under the stage comes Anna Tsuchiya with her first line.... "When I was darkness at that time Furueteru kuchibiru". As the crowd rocks out to the theme, Synthy seems to be slightly rocking to the music. At the first chorus section, pink Cherry Blossoms fall down from the ceiling; blanketing the fans with a pleasant scent. As they fall, BR Juri Sadamoto makes her appearance in the crowd section closest to the band.*
Finkel: And her opponent... Currently residing in Osaka, Japan... Weighing in at 142 pounds... BR JU-RI SA-DA-MO-TO!
Schiavone: I don't think it would be premature to say that Juri got the upper hand here.
JBL: I think it would be very fair to say. I may not understand the Japanese language, nor do I enjoy this sort of music, but I think that the Broken Rose of EWT has out done herself here.
*As she walks down the steps, touching the hands from the fans to her left, she points at Anna who returns the point and smiles. Juri reaches the barricade and clears it with ease. Meanwhile Synthy has caught a few of the blossoms in her hand. BR rolls into the ring and stretches her arms behind her back. She smiles at her opponent, who offers her blossom covered hand. Juri accepts the offer with little hesitation. Synthy tags her hand with a vague, if true-blue smile on her face. She's staring Juri in the eye.*
Synthy: Wicked, chikadee.
*The opponents release the handshake, and the blossoms flutter to the mat, soon drifting away as the two step away for their respective corners. Synthy stretches for a moment, and tosses her sunglasses to the outside. She whispers before stepping up...*
Synthy: Remind me to get that woman's autograph later...
Juri: Will do.
*Juri steps up as well, dropping her peaceful smile for a battle hardened face immediately. Friends are friends, but the time for being friends has momentarily stopped. Synthy's cheerful exterior evaporates itself. Her facials are now reduced to no emotion, and she rolls her neck back before officially beginning the match by bouncing backward off of the ropes behind her and ducking beside Juri before hitting a kick to the midsection. Juri instinctively grabs the leg of Synthy and Sweeps her other one out from under her. She takes a step back and, in a battle stance, waits for Synthy to get back up.*
Styles: A classic case of feeling each other out here.
JBL: You don't want to rush into things in a match with an opponent that is equal to yourself. The second that you do, you may as well be handing the victory over to them.
*Synthy balances on her hands and smoothly jumps behind Juri, still on the ground, slamming her foot behind Juri's kneecap and attempting to knock the woman down to her level. Shocked at the speed of Synthy and the little amount of time she had to react, Juri falls to a kneeling position. Synthy's teeth appear for a brief nanosecond and she wraps her legs around Juri's neck. She's using her hands for balance again and is arched backward, away from Juri. With some difficulty, Juri pulls herself up to her feet as Synthy's weight is trying to pull her down. In a flash Juri jumps backward, landing on Synthy, who maintains the hold.*
Schiavone: Very impressive counter by the Rose of Japan.
Styles: I think you've received some old notes, Tony, she's now a Broken Rose.
Schiavone: Well, regardless, that was simple yet effective.
*Synthy has no choice, as the awkward position she is in would break her legs if held on for much longer. She releases the hold and her back pops as she rolls away from her opponent. She pulls herself up and stares at Juri for a moment, before feinting a left hook and attempting a clothesline. Juri catches the wild Clothesline and turns it into a Armbar Takedown, forcing Synthy to the mat. From there, BR locks in a high angled Armlock on Synthy's arm. Synthy's struggling through the hold, but manages to bring some flexibility into play by stretching her arm into a position so she's partially on Juri. While the other woman has the tough lock on her right arm, she uses her left fist to clock in a headlock. To break the hold, Juri tries a few knee shots but Synthy is in such a position that the shots miss their mark. BR takes a different route by twisting the right arm of Synthy into a sick angle, hoping that the headlock will be broken in doing so.*
Styles: Synthy looks to be in tremendous pain from that wicked Armlock. If she can not find a way out of it, I dare say that the match maybe over.
JBL: But you can't discount the ability of one Synthy Eris. She has proven time and again that she is willing & able to do what it takes to win a match.
*The hold is kept, but the look on Synthy's face implies that the position is definitely not one she wishes to be in. After a few moments of the audience's chants of 'That looks painful' Synthy finally lets go, twisting her arm back into it's regular position, but her long legs come in to an advantage concerning Juri's slightly new angle. She swings her leg high and brings it down in a forceful manner on Juri's lower back. Juri, despite herself, holds onto the hold for as long as she can. She adds it a final bit of pressure before receiving a second blow that quickly breaks the hold.*
JBL: Smart move by Juri there. Or rather a great show of tenacity by Juri.
Schiavone: But you really must give a hand to Synthy. Rather than give up or even seek the ropes, she uses her own technique to escape a from a painful submission.
*The two women scurry from each other, but then both lay for a moment on the mat, trying to regain momentum. Synthy's newly-sculpted mohawk has gone a little limp, and the woman's face looks less stoic. She stands and makes a motion for Juri to do so. The two continue on, grappling each other's arms and goes into Synthy's power play by her quickly letting it go and headbutting Juri. Simple, effective, but not enough as Juri returns the move with a CHOP of epic magnitude.*
Styles: I think we know what's coming up now!
Schiavone: I can't help but wince every time I see Sadamoto's chops!
*Before Synthy can even recover, she feels a chop strike her right in the face. The crowd gasps to see how two good friends could cause such pain to each other in the name of sportsman... rather sportswomanship. While the stinging of Juri's chops are unforgiving they are not enough hold Synthy back from hitting an vicious elbow right into the nose. She follows the move up by twisting herself behind Juri and hitting a Suplex. Juri skids back a little way, and Synthy lets out a breath.*
Synthy: Holy sheiste, woman!
*This is audible, and it's clear to even the most vacant-headed Synthy's having the time of her life. The camera focuses on BR, who is face down on the mat, with a sadistic grin on her face. Perhaps mirroring the same rush that Synthy is experiencing. Synthy, knowing that openings with be hard to come by, pulls Juri up into a Vertical Suplex... But gets the shock of her life as Juri hits a hard knee right into her head. Seizing the opportunity, Sadamoto forces her body weight to the ground. An act that pulls Synthy with her and ends with a Synthy landing chest first onto Juri's knees. Synthy's breath goes out of her, and the wheeze is very audible. She slumps down, head against the apron and Juri seizes the opportunity by bouncing Syn's noggin off of the hard surface. Synthy lets out an...*
Synthy: Ugh!
*Before slumps lower on the apron. As Juri leans against the ropes, she contemplates a uncharacteristic move by looking at the audience. In a flash, she springboards herself over the ropes and drops a leg on Synthy's back before hitting the mat outside hard. Synthy regains her second wind as she hears the thump of Juri's body. Bleary-eyed, she grabs the nearest post to her and pulls herself up. She stares at Juri's form, now twitching but steadily readying herself to get up. Synthy pops her neck, and drags herself to Juri's area. She pulls Juri up stares her in the eyes, and hits her with a Modified Neckbreaker. It's almost a Twist Of Fate, but instead of just dropping, she ensures that Juri lands on her head by landing on her back.*
Styles: OH MY GAWD!
Schiavone: What an amazing move there! What would you even began to call it?
JBL: ...Victory.
*Juri remains still as the referee reaches a count of four. Synthy grins, and shakes her head no. She lifts Juri up, and pushes her into the ring. Sliding in after her, she brushes herself off and cracks her knuckles. Synthy, expecting to have k.o.ed in that last blow, goes for a cover. A pin that she fully intents to pull Juri's shoulder up at two. She never makes it to one, as Juri strikes her with a kick directly to the face. Synthy stumbles backward, leaning against the ropes for full support. She spits into her hand, and holds up a bloody bit of metal. She flips her hand over, and a the bloody stud end to her lip ring hits the floor with a clunk. She a bloody mouthful out next to it, and hastily bounces of the ropes with a leap at Juri. Directly into a Dropkick from the Red-haired Joshi. Juri quickly goes for and successfully locks in a Hammerlock on the right arm, going the course of slowly weakening the wilder Synthy.*
JBL: Good thinking by BR. I think Synthy maybe the type to get more of an “upmft” from seeing her own blood. The more you wear an opponent down, the more likely of a “W” on in your favor.
*Synthy thrashes. She stretches her legs out and hooks her left leg on the bottom rope. Juri lets go, while Synthy simultaneously decks her. Although the move doesn't seem to have as much power behind it as it originally would have, and Synthy clutches her right arm. A possible critical mistake, as the dangerous Sadamoto now has a target. BR aims and connects with a hard kick right directly on the arm of Synthy. When Synthy tries to sit up to return to her feet, Juri pushes her down with her foot. An act of more playing with Synthy than actually hurting her. Looking up at Juri's face, she keeps her distracted. Her arm did hurt, but not nearly as much as she had pretended. Synthy grabs the Broken Rose's ankle and flips her back, keeping a hold of it and slamming an ankle lock on.*
Schiavone: An amazing counter to a playful gesture by Synthy! If she keeps this locked in, the match may just go to her!
JBL: That is why you don't get over confident. That's what happened to Juri and just look what it has brought her.
*Juri's jade eyes are wide in shock as she is now on her stomach and in a quite different position than she was before. Knowing that she must break the hold before Synthy really does any damage, she is able to roll over to her back. A few wild kicks from the left leg, striking whatever place they land, and Juri is able to push Synthy off of her ankle. In retaliation for her broken hold, Synthy stomps on Juri's left hamstring, before narrowly dodging a swift kick to the face. The blood is still flowing freely from her mouth, and it's now partially stained her leather vest. Synthy stomps on Juri again, and pulls her to her feet, before going into the position for nothing less then the dreaded move that has felled so many.*
Schiavone: Could it be?
Styles: I think it is!
JBL: Get ready for Synthy celebration!
*There is no doubt on the any of the crowd members that Synthy is enjoying to match, in spite or maybe in part due to the busted mouth she has. But all good things must come to and end, as Synthy lifts Juri up for some very Synful Intentions. But it if was an early end Synthy was expecting, what comes next is a shock. As, for the first time, her finisher is broken and turned against her. Namely into a Hurrcarana that sends her rolling into a turnbuckle.*
JBL: WHAT A COUNTER!
Schiavone: I don't think I've EVER seen Synthy's Intentions countered before!
*Synthy's face is bewildered, and her sparkling violet eyes go even more wide then normal. The crowd suspends their disbelief as Synthy just remains sprawled against the turnbuckle. She moves away from it only when Juri goes for a CHOP session, neatly swerving beneath the woman's arm. But due to a freak occurrence, she stumbles. Seeing a nice opening, Juri lifts Synthy up into a Suplex. A Suplex that turns into a painful Neckbreaker, or as Juri calls it Broken Stem Driver # 96. Being the first time that an American audience as seen such move from BR, they collectively make a sound resembling an "OH!". BR leaps back up to her feet, while Synthy holds her jacked neck on the ground. Glancing from the fallen Synthy to the turnbuckle near them, her intentions are clear. She pulls herself up to the top rope then turns, awaiting the eventual rising of her Fuchsia-Haired opponent. Just as Synthy rises, Juri squats down and points up in the air as do some audience members. Then she takes flight, with a victory in mind.*
JBL: Oh my goodness, THIS IS THE END!
Styles: THIS IS THE TIMFFFFAAAAAAAA!
*Synthy, desperately searching for one last drop of anything to keep herself from losing, miraculously pulls out one of the most vicious Powerbomb seen in a long time. The audience practically sees this oddity occur in slow motion, as the athleticism and smoothness of it is very fluid. The two woman just rather twitch when their both planted on the mat. Synthy coughs, a more blood dribbles from her mouth. The 'HOLY crap' chants are astounding. Juri is no better off as her eyes are closed. A replay of the video shows just how hard Juri landed on back of her head and just how close Synthy was to staring at the lights above. The referee begins a count.*
JBL: ...How did Synthy do that?!
Schiavone: I thought for sure that Synthy was done!
Styles: And I think that was the first time we've seen the TIMFA countered!
*The referee hits 8, and the audience is on their feet. They don't want it to end. 9. Amazingly, courageously enough, both of the women struggle to their knees and stare at each other, blood and sweat coming out at equal amounts. Everyone in the arena can practically hear their hearts pounding. *Juri stares at Synthy, looking a worse for wear. While Synthy returns the stare. At the same time, they both crack a smile.*
Juri: *coyly* You're not as bad as I thought you were.
Synthy: *retorts, albeit slightly slurred* And you're not as predictable.
*The two are now standing and in a fighting stance, while the crowd anxiously watches. People are stomping their feet and slapping the side of the barricade like ROH fans, but Jury and Synthy try not to think about it too much. They prepare to return to fighting each other...*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:34:05 GMT -5
*...Before the lights in the arena begin to swirl, and a very familiar Italian intro begins to play...*
Styles: What is--wait, I know that music...
*The crowd lets out a collective "Huh?" at the sound of the music. Every head in the arena turns to look at the ramp, and the faces attached to those heads have very confused expressions on them. Shortly after the intro, a few lines of hard bass booms out of the speakers, followed by Eminem's trademark "People! It feels so good to be back!" Sure enough, the sounds of "Square Dance" precedes the arrival of EWT Ox-Division Champion: Cassinova.*
JBL: It's Cass!
Styles: What's he doing out here?
JBL: I guess he wants a closer seat to this show-stopper, and who could blame him?
*Cassinova smirks as he walks down the ramp, and the fans don't know whether to cheer, boo, or stay silent. Each crowd member picks one of those choices, causing a very loud and noisy mixed reaction to the sudden appearance of the L.A. pretty-boy. Cass hits the bottom of the ramp and walks all the way around the ring, reaching into his pocket and handing Howard Finkel an envelope. Finkel looks at him in bewilderment--the same expression shown on the faces of Synthy and Juri inside of the ring, but Cass just does the "Wink and the gun" thing at him before turning and rolling into the ring.*
Styles: Cassinova just handed Howard Finkel an envelope, and now he's in the ring...
JBL: I'm thoroughly confused, but this can only get better.
Styles: It'd be even better if he'd get out of the way of one of the most anticipated matches of the night, that has so far exceeded it's hype!
*Back in the ring, Juri Sadamoto and Synthy Eris' expressions have gone from just being confused, to being confused and possibly homicidal. Cass just stands there, looking at both of them for a while, before waving them over to him. They both look appalled, and give each other a look that can only be described as, "Should we just take this guy out, or what?" Meanwhile, Cass continues to wave them over, trying to get them to come closer. Eventually, Synthy and Juri slowly make their way over to Cassinova, making sure every step is a cautious one. When they step toward him, Cass walks in a circle, continuing to tell them to follow. After a while of this, he manages to get them both in the center of the ring, while he stands between them and the ropes closest to the ramp. Juri and Synthy seem annoyed, and finally Synthy speaks up.*
Synthy: What the FAhell do you want?!
*Cass simply puts his hand in her face as if telling her to talk to it, while he strongly scopes out Juri. Eventually, he begins to grin and points to the ground with both hands. Juri and Synthy, not phased or tempted to look, simply cross their arms boredly and raise a couple of eyebrows at him. This seems to catch Cassinova off guard, so he instead points up. The two continue to stare at him for a few seconds, but after looking both ways with an anxious face, Synthy's head slowly begins to tilt upward. Juri puts a hand on her shoulder to bring her back to her senses, and Synthy immediately looks back to Cass again. Cass stomps his foot and holds his finger up to tell them to hold on, as he turns to the ropes and strokes his chin, pondering a few things. Finally, a light bulb practically appears over his head as he swiftly spins around, and in one fluid motion lightly bops the two women on top of their heads with his fists.*
Schiavone: That seemed a little uncalled for...
*Juri and Synthy hold the top of their head and wince in pain after the sudden blow, but it wears off after a few seconds. They look at Cass in absolute malice, skipping the "What the hell was that for?!" reaction and going straight for the "Yeah... I'm going to kill you now." They begin to inch towards Cassinova, but are suddenly cut off by the sound of a bell!*
Styles: No... way...
*Juri and Synthy simultaneously whip their heads towards the referee, who just got done calling for the bell, giving Cass enough time to bail out of the ring and head back towards Howard Finkel. He stands by Finkel and opens the envelope seen earlier, practically shoving the paper inside into The Fink's face.*
Finkel: *reading from the paper* Ladies and gentlemen... due to interference benefiting both combatants in this match, the bout will be considered a NO CONTEST!
*The boos are deafening as Cass tells Finkel to read on. Juri and Synthy are livid inside of the ring, eyes wide and hands gripping their hair.*
Finkel: *continuing to read* Ahem... Owner of EWT Toom E. Dangerously has written that in the very unlikely event that this form of a no contest would take place, it would result in a double disqualification for both parties involved!
*At this point, Cassinova snatches the microphone from Finkel and begins to use it himself*
Cassinova: Basically, all of these fancy two-dollar words mean that you both lose! Therefore, you both are subject to the stipulation, hand-picked by Tooms and suggested by an upstanding member of the EWT roster, a.k.a.: Me.
*If you've ever seen a dog's heart break, and know that look that they give with their ears drooping and their stance loosened, you can imagine how Synthy looks right about now. Knowing that Cass is the exact kind of person that she despises, every stupid stipulation that he could possibly think of runs through her mind. Juri has one of her hands placed on her forehead as she listens to Cassinova speak, and she almost can't believe what is happening.*
Cassinova: So... let me be the one to bring you the good news. The good news is that I have picked, like, the greatest stipulation ever.
*As he speaks, he slowly climbs into the ring, walking right up to Juri and looking at her as he speaks.*
Cassinova: You... are so fine.
*Juri leans backwards and looks at him, absolutely disgusted. Synthy looks just as appalled on the other side of the ring.*
Cassinova: You know I did this for you, right? I wanted to give you a chance to show your more beautiful side, and to tell you the truth I've never gone out with a Spanish chick...
*Juri and Synthy's eyes bug out at the last line, but the culturally ignorant Cass doesn't seem to notice. Juri, who's obviously Japanese (and Irish, for the record), is very close to decking Cass in the face, but can maintain her emotion well enough to let him finish. Synthy, meanwhile, is cracking her knuckles and fantasizing about the inevitable beatdown that she and Juri will get to inflict on Cass.*
Cassinova: I know, I know, I'm moving a little fast, so I won't ask you out or anything yet. But, there is the matter of the stipulation. It's very simple, you see. The stipulation is that the loser... which would be, well, both of you... will have to wear whatever the winner chooses for a whole month...
*Juri and Synthy cock an eyebrow at this.*
Cassinova: Mm hm... but, unfortunately, there is no winner, thus allowing yours truly to decide what you should wear!
*Juri practically has a large anime-style sweat drop running down the side of her face as she listens to this news. Synthy quickly walks toward Cassinova and snatches the microphone from him.*
Synthy: Since you have all of forty-five seconds to live, I suggest you hurry up and tell us what you want us to wear, Mr. Nova.
*Cass looks at her with a face that is a mixture of anger and confusion as she shoves the microphone back at him. He looks all around him as if thoroughly bewildered before finally looking back at Synthy.*
Cassinova: Who the hell are you? You know what, don't even answer that. I'll get to you later, but right now I'm tending to my little mamacita over here. *looks back towards Juri* I didn't hurt you earlier, did I?
*Juri just breathes heavily and clinches his fists until her knuckles turn white.*
Cassinova: Hopefully not. Anyway, I don't know much about El Mexicanos, so I'll let you pick your outfit. Whatever you people wear, wear it. I'm sure it'll be beautiful.
*Juri finally gets fed up and snatches the microphone from him*
Juri: I'm not... MEXICAN!
*Cass looks at her with wide-eyes, slowly getting the microphone back from her.*
Cassinova: Jeez, calm down. I can't help it if I can't tell one group of Hispanics from another. What are you? Cuban? Dominican?
*Synthy groans and snatches the microphone from Cass once more. Cass can be heard lightly saying, "You all are going to quit with all this damned mic-snatching!"*
Synthy: Hey, you with the IQ of 55, what about me?
Cassinova: *finally just getting a separate microphone* And you are...?
Synthy: The person who'll be charged with your murder.
Cassinova: Ah, gotcha. Well... to tell you the truth, you never really crossed my mind. Uh... oh, I've got it! Man, can I think on my feet or what? Alright, get this...
*As he talks, Cass puts a hand on Synthy's shoulder. Synthy slowly turns her head to look at the hand, before looking at him again with her eyes ablaze. Cassinova quickly pulls his hand back and continues to speak.*
Cassinova: How about, I make you pull a complete 180. Well, maybe not a complete one, but at least 168 degrees. Okay, you listening? Good. Do you know who you remind me of?
*There's a long pause between the two, before Synthy just shrugs.*
Cassinova: ...Marilyn Manson. You remind me of Marilyn Manson. So, how about I just change that last name to a different Marilyn M. Therefore, I declare that you, whatever-your-name-is, shall switch from dressing like Marilyn Manson, to dressing like--
Synthy: Don't. Even. Say it!
Cassinova: Fine then, I won't! But the boys in the back probably catch my drift, and will suit you up just fine, don't worry about it.
*Cass proceeds to hum "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" as he turns back towards Juri.*
Cassinova: *turning his head to look at Synthy* Now, Queen of all things Nonconformist and Alternative, let the pretty people talk.
*Of course, had Cass actually taken a good look at Synthy, he'd realize that she actually is pretty. Unfortunately (or fortunately for Synthy, depending on how you look at it), he is too infatuated with Juri to even take a second glance at Synthy*
Cassinova: I didn't even get a chance to get your name, girl. What is it again?
Juri: *as Synthy hands her the microphone* ...Juri. Juri Sa--
Cassinova: Let's have a big round of applause for Jewelry Sanchez, everyone! *Cass claps his hands and smiles charmingly* You know for a little girl, that was quite a match you put on, Jewelry. I'm very impressed. But do tell me, is there any reason why your parents didn't name you a specific kind of jewel? I mean, I've seen people named Ruby, Diamond, Crystal, all of that. Never heard someone just be generalized with the name Jewelry...
*Juri and Synthy are absolutely aghast at how dumb the man standing before them really is. The crowd has been in a fit of boos and deep belly laughs this entire segment, but Cass is dead serious.*
Cassinova: Nevertheless, I'm still taken back by your beauty, and I'll do anything to get in those jea.... to court you gracefully as fate has written. Now, I believe it is time for me to depart. Jewelry, stay beautiful. Manson... get surgery. Peace and chicken grease.
*With that, Cassinova drops the mic and throws up the peace sign as he makes his way to the ropes. "Square Dance" plays once more as he does this, and the music distracts him from the sounds of Synthy quickly approaching him, preparing to pounce. Luckily, Juri catches her in mid-air and holds her back just as she jumps at him with all intent to rip out his pretty little hair by the roots. Cass is blissfully unaware of all of this and exits the ring, heading up the ramp to a chorus of boos as Juri and Synthy consult each other in the ring. While they do so, the crowd being to get an ovation for the two for their great match up to Cassinova's interruption.*
Styles: Looks like the two ladies' have earned the respect of the CAM crowd.
Schiavone: And deservingly so, might I add. It's just a shame that it had to end the way it did.
JBL: It may be a shame, but I have a feeling that when it is all said and done... Juri and Synthy will remember this night not for the great match, but from the embarrassment that will come for the next month...
*Juri offers her hand to Synthy, who accepts it back. There is an emptiness left in both of women, and a great sense of loss felt from the crowd. Juri tries to smile at Synthy, in order to lighten the mood, but to no avail.*
Styles: I hope one day that we will have a FULL match between these two warriors. To have anything less would be a travesty, as we have here...
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:36:03 GMT -5
“Why can’t We be Friends?” plays over the speakers and Aaron Chamblis makes his way to the ring to a nice pop. The Fink: “The following match, is a Concrete Ring match, where the first wrestler to obtain victory from a pin or submission, wins the match! Now approaching the ring, from Cincinatti, Ohio, weighing in at 167 pounds, AARON CHAMBLIS!” “This Mortal Soil” by Mastodon plays over the speakers and Redface Rodgers approaches the ring to another nice pop. The Fink: “From Bridgeport, Connecticut, weighing at 320 pounds, REDFACE RODGERS!” Both men in the conrete ring await the third participant armed with a round, silver shield as Shostakovich's "Symphony #5: Finale" plays over the speakers. The Fink: “Making his way to the ring, from Rotterdam, Netherlands, weighing in at 303 pounds, VOLTIGEUR!” Voltigeur enters the ring to a nice pop as we await the fourth participant. “Do You Wanna Be A Hero” plays and Singapore Caine comes out, armed with the weapon of his namesake. The Fink: “From singapore, China, weighing in at 266 pounds, SINGAPORE CAINE!” Now, 4 of the 6 contestants are in the ring, and everyone is buzzing over the mystery participant. “Le Gran Luxe” plays over the speakers and the place explodes from shock, the competitors in the ring not sure what to think, as Maelstrom menacingly approaches the ring. The Fink: “From The Aquarium, weighing in at 287 pounds, MAELSTROM!” Maelstrom enters the ring and minaciously observes his opponents. Suddenly, the lights go dark and an image appears on the Toomitron: * The man in the image barks out the following in a loud, booming voice: “War is peace Freedom is Slavery Ignorance is strength!” The voice continues to communicate various Totalitarian messages, and at this point, the audience is throwing garbage. Suddenly, the man disappears, and in it’s place, Christopher Indigo’s Toomitron video appears on the screen, and “Hybrid Stigmata” by Dimmu Borgir plays. Indigo then appears at the top of the ramp, Toolshed Title around his waist, Ingsoc flag draped over him, and showered with boos. Indigo starts making his way down to the ring. The Fink: “From Calgary, Canada, weighing in at 215 pounds, CHRISTOPHER INDIGO!” Indigo then enters the ring and hands the ref his title and the flag. Tony: “Tony Shivano here at ringside with JBL, and partner, we’v- JBL: “Don’t call me that.” Tony: “Call you what?” JBL: “’Partner’.” Tony: “Why not?” JBL: “Because, you don’t deserve to call me that, you muppet.” Tony: “......Moving on, we’ve got quite the match here tonight, what do you predict will happen?” JBL: “Indigo definitely has the odds stacked against him. You have Maelstrom, Redface Rodgers, Singapore Caine, all 3 are men who want to get their hands on Indigo here, and take his title. So, I’d predict that Indigo retains tonight.” Tony: “What?” JBL: “Indigo is like me during my prime. He’s a decent wrestler, an excellent brawler, and he isn’t afraid of anyone.” Tony: “Well, I think Indigo’s going to retain tonight too!” JBL: “Why?” Tony: “Well, because, he’s like a young you, he’s a desent wrestler, an egg selling brawler, and he isn’t a fray of anyone!/Because that’s what you want? Right? Please say right I want you to say right.” JBL: “...” In the ring, Voltigeur and Aaron Chamblis charge towards Maelstrom, and start working him over, while Singapore Caine and Redface Rodgers immediately start going to work on the Toolshed Champion. Chamblis and volt hit a double DDT on Maelstrom, while Caine and Redface hit Indigo with a double powerbomb onto the concrete! Voltigeur starts repeatedly nailing Maelstrom in the head with the shield, while Redface and Caine have Indigo in a Singapore Deathlock-Koji Clutch combonation. Aaron Chmablis dropkicks both men in the head simaeltaneously, and they roll to the outside, Chamblis then rolls up Indigo! 1! 2! KICKOUT! Chamblis starts stomping Indigo, while Voltiguer continues to beat on Maelstrom with the shield. Voltigeur pins! 1! 2! KICKOUT! Voltigeur decides to finish Maelstrom off and sets him up into position for a Justified Persecution, but he takes too long, and Maelstrom starts wearily hammering on Voltigeur, and Maelstrom DDTS him into the concrete! Maelstrom pins! 1! 2! BROKEN UP BY AARON CHAMBLIS! Chamblis immediately starts hitting Maelstrom furiously with a flurry of punches, but Maelstrom simply rises to his feet, and hits Chamblis with a thunderous headbutt! Maelstrom pins! 1! 2! KICKOUT! Maelstrom, Voltigeur, and Chamblis are all down on the mat. Indigo, now on his feet, springboards off the top rope, and Moonsaults onto Singapore Caine and Redface Rodgers on the outside! Indigo then grabs Caine’s Singapore caine (His weapon, not his reproductive organ, get your mind out of the gutter), and he drives the Caine over the head of Caine! Redface starts to rise, and Indigo drives the caine over the head of Rodgers! Both men now down, Indigo stands tall. But suddenly, Maelstrom hits Indigo with a baseball slide! Maelstrom immediately goes after Indigo and starts hammering on him in a violent rage. Maelstrom then picks up Indigo and throws him into the ring post. Maelstrom then stalks the staggered champion, and Maelstrom hits Indigo hard with a Yakuza Kick. Chamblis then leaps over the top ropes and suicides dives into Maelstrom! voltigeur then comes rushing out of the ring and he and Chamblis resume taking doiwn Maelstrom. Meanwhile, Caine and Redface are up, and they start attacking Indigo. They both throw Indigo into the ring, and Caine sets Indigo up into a piledriver position, and Redface gets on the top rope. JBL: “Good lord, what’s Redface going to do?” Tony: “They’re going to end Indigo’s career!” Indigo however, lifts Caine over him and escapes the powerbomb. Redface is about to leap off the top rope, but Indigo runs into the ropes, and Redface hits the turnbuckle in a less than plesant way. Indigo then runs up to the turnbuckle, and sets up Redface for a Superplex, but Redface throws Indigo off, and Indigo hits the cocnrete hard! Redface then crawls off the top rope and reels in pain. Back on the outside, Voltigeur and Chamblis continue to try and keep Maelstrom down, but he just won’t stay down! Maelstrom starts to power his way through, and he starts violently exchanging blows with the two men! Maelstrom then double clotheslines the two men, and seaches under the ring for a weapon and pulls out a Harpoon Gun! IChamblis and Voltigeur on seeing this head for the other side of the ring in horror. Maelstrom takes aim at Indigo! Indigo sees this but he looks around helplessly as to what to do. Maelstrom is about to fire when he sees Singapore Caine and smashes him over the head with the gun instead. The gun breaks and is useless. Maelstrom then comes after Indigo, but is met with a Shining Wizard from the champion. Indigo then starts hitting Maelstrom with mounted punches. Back in the ring, Ciane is down, and Redface goes for the cover! 1! 2! KICKOUT! Caine then looks at Rodgers with a “WTF” look on his face, and Redface responds with “There are no friends in a title match!” Caine then takes Redface down at the legs, and the two start exchanging furious shots. *Not too far outside the ring, are Aaron Chamblis and Chris Indigo. Indigo takes his attention away from Maelstrom, and he and Chamblis immediately start trading blows back and forth at ringside, it is not too long before Indigo overpowers the smaller Chamblis with punch after punch, forcing him to cover up and back into the side of the concrete ring. Now having him where he wants him, he shoulder thrusts the smaller man against the concrete apron, Aaron wincing in pain. Sizing him up, Indigo nails Aaron against the concrete with a side elbow. And another one, just for good measure. Possessing an edge at this moment, Indigo backs up a little, and then runs head-on at Chamblis, hoping to clip him into the ring yet again, only now with a lariat. With his agility however, Chamblis ducks and rolls under the arm of Indigo, as Chris runs his arm straight into the turnbuckle, trying to shake it off. But his time to do so is short-lived, as Aaron unleashes a barrage of martial arts kicks to the lower legs of Indigo, immobilizing him for a moment. Aaron, now having an upper hand of his own, quickly scans the area for a potential weapon--and sticking out from under the apron, spots it--a wooden table. Chamblis dashes over to the table, grabs it, and runs back, setting it up parallel to the ring, next to Indigo's location. In order to further slow him down, Aaron goes for a high kick. Blocked by Indigo! Aaron prepares to enzuiguri Chris, but instead feints it--however, from experience, Indigo instinctively ducks. As he lifts his head back up, the first thing he notices is a face slap, which, due to surprising him, gives Aaron enough time to catch him off guard with another manuever. Jumping up, Chamblis locks hands with Indigo, and, thrusting his feet into Indigo's chest, monkey flips him--right through the table! Among the wreckage, Aaron goes for the cover, as the referee is quick to react.* 1! 2! KICKOUT! Chamblis and Voltigeur right away exchange glares. Chamblis and Voltigeur get nose to nose, and the two immeadiately start exchanging blows as well! Chamblis starts to get the upper hand on Voltigeur and gets him into a Hurricanrana, and a pin! 1! 2! KICKOUT! Aaron gets up biting his lip, boos from the crowd swelling. Immediately, he gets an idea, and from the outside, begins the scale the turnbuckle. Upon reaching the top, he prepares to dive off--only for a nearby Singapore Caine to thrust him off, onto the hard floor below! Caine is then Saito suplexed onto the concret by Redface! Redface pins! 1! 2! BROKEN UP BY MAELSTROM! Maelstrom immediately attacks Redface and picks him up. Powerslam by Maelstrom! Cover! 1! 2! BROKEN UP BY INDIGO! Indigo and Maelstrom immeadiately start traidng blows, with Maelstrom getting the upper hand! Chamblis then springboards off the top rope from the apron, onto Inidog and Maelstrom! He then starts stomping on the two men, until suddenly, Singapore Caine hits Chamblis with a Lungblower! Caine pins Chamblis! 1! 2! KICKOUT! *As the action erupts into a brawl inside the ring between all of the competitors, sans Voltigeur, none other than Voltigeur comes rushing into the ring with his shield! With his shield, he pushes Redface out of the way, and knocks Caine over onto the concrete with a rather undignified THUD. Aaron Chamblis, springboarding off of the ropes to hit a clothesline, gets knocked down as well--Voltigeur has become a madman within the squared circle! He lifts up his shield, hoping to hit the massive Maelstrom with it, only to recieve a knee in the stomach, followed by a few punches. Maelstrom lifts him for the Whirlpool, but after being hoisted up, Volt shifts his weight a bit, allowing him to be let go as he lands to his feet. Except...he gets a huge forearm from Maelstrom, who once again goes to lift him--but this time, Voltigeur powers out and reverses it into a spinebuster position. Following up, he unleashes one into a nearby corner, and with Maelstrom still in the position, drops him in the center of the concrete ring with a crash!* 1! 2! BROKEN UP BY AARON CHAMBLIS! Maelstrom is not happy about his and turns to face this interruption. Chamblis throws a punch but Maelstrom blocks the blow and kicks him in the gut. Maelstrom lifts chamblis up and onto his shoulders. Round and round they go, but Indigo breaks up the move with a knee to Maelstrom’s gut. Indigo hits Voltigeur with an Ezniguri, and rolls up Maelstrom! 1! 2! BROKEN UP CHAMBLIS! Chamblis double dropkicks both men, charges towards Maelstrom, and Hurricanrana’s Maelstrom onto the floor! Chamblis, however, landed on the apron, and he springboards off the top rope and attempts a Hurricanrana on Indigo, but Indigo catches Chamblis, and powerbombs him onto the concrete! 1! 2! 3 NO! KICKOUT! Maelstrom climbs back in the ring and headbutts Redface out of his way. Meanwhile Christopher Indigo is fighting with Voltiguer and manages to knock him over the top rope and out of the ring. Indigo turns around and is suddenly involved in a three man brawl with Redface and Maelstrom. Maelstrom is knocked down by a double team effort by Redface and Indigo. Indigo nods to Reface who goes to pick up Maelstrom, but Indigo double crosses and clobbers Redface across the back. Tony: “I don’t think he felt that!” Redface drops Maelstrom and angrily turns to Indigo who tries to hit Redface with a kick to the head, but no such lucks as Redface ducks and clotheslines Indigo. Redface grabs Indigo and lifts him up on to his shoulders, maybe looking for an electric chair drop. Maelstrom is back up and using a Voltigeur’s shield smacks redface in the head. Redface is dazed but doesn't go down or drop Indigo. Maelstrom motions to Voltiguer on the outside. Voltiguer turns his attention away from beating down Chamblis, and reaches under the apron and pulls out a ladder. He sets it up and begins to climb. Meanwhile Maelstrom ducks down and grabs Redface by the feet. The crowd gets to it's feet as something big is about to happen Maelstrom with a Herculean effort lifts Redface on top of his shoulders, whilst Indigo is still on Redface's shoulders. Voltigeur is now at the top of the ladder! No wait Singapore Caine is on the top turnbuckle!! Commentary: OH MY GOD!! Five Man Flying Doomsday Device!! Voltiguer caught Indigo from off the top of the ladder while Singapore Caine caught Redface! All five men hit the concrete with force. The crowd begins to chant 'Holy S***!' as almost every comeptitor is now down, as Chamblis watches on in amazement. Chamblis rolls into the ring, and attempts to Hurricanrana Maelstrom, but he coutners the Hurricanrana with a Whirlpool! 1! 2! SHIELD OVER THE HEAD OF MAELSTROM BY VOLTIGEUR! VOLTIGEUR PINS MAELSTROM! 1! 2! 3! DING DING DING! The Fink: “Ladies and getntlemen, here is your winner, and NEW EWT Toolshed Champion, Voltigeur!” Voltigeur is handed the Toolshed title, and his hand raised in victory! Voltigeur stands triumphantly over all of the competitors as we cut to the next segment.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:36:34 GMT -5
Finkel: This match is the Gauntlet TLC Match and is for the EWT WORLD TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! The current tag-team champions will be the first two entrants and the six remaining tag-teams will follow a random Gauntlet order, via lottery. The first five teams will lose by pinfall, while the last two teams battling will fight with the belts 15 ft. high! *Finkel points up* The rules are TLC rules, meaning that this is a hardcore match, but there are count-outs if all members of a team are down in the ring or being outside the ring! There are no count-outs for the last two teams, as who-ever gets the belts first, wins the entire match. The first tag-team to come out are the current tag-team champions.
*¡¨Puff the Magic Dragon¡¨ by Peter, Paul, and Mary plays.*
Finkel: Coming down the aisle, weighing in at 245 pounds, from the land of peace and happies, he is currently ONE-HALF of the EWT WORLD TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS, APE LOVE!
*Ape Love finally schedules out to come underneath the CrapTron to cheers out here in SESAME PLACE! He walks by all the Sesame St. props as walks down the aisle (castrated in sidewalk down on Sesame St.) and stops by Oscar¡¦s trash can. A little evil smiles flashes by ape love as he goes to the garbage can and picks something out of there¡K.A SMELLY MIC!*
ape love: hello, langhorne pa¡K.hehe¡K.good ¡¥old ape love is here right by this smelly trash can¡K.and this smelly microphone¡Kcan only mean one thing¡K.this is the home of oscar the grouch¡K.*crowd boos*¡K.why must you hate a grouch¡K.i was a grouch once¡Kbut the tides have turned they say¡K.maybe i¡¦ll give this grouch guy right here some ape love and he¡¦ll think twice¡Kthe next ƒºtime he¡¦s angry of something
*ape love knocks on the trash can lid*
Oscar: ¡K
*ape love knocks loudlyier*
Oscar: *cranky* UHHHH¡K.Jesus cripes, man, can a grouch have his beauty sleep during Crap-a-Mania?
ape love: no¡K.this is the day where havoc occurs¡K.chaos ensuing¡K.tussles tussling¡Kand so forth¡Kyou are not ruining this moment for me¡K.OR anyone in the audience *crowd cheers*¡K.in fact¡K.get out of your shelter now.
Oscar: *goes Tyson Tomko on himself* No.
ape love: find¡Khehe¡K.you made it a lot more fun¡K.*speaks up* OKAY BOYS, BRING ¡¥ER BACK!
*a beeping noise starts soon thereafter and it increases in noise as it becomes louder and louder towards the CrapTron area, once the object became more visible, it showed its true form to be a DUMP TRUCK!*
ape love: tonight¡K.hehehe¡Kyou will have your dream come true¡K.we¡¦re taking OUT the trash
*lifts the garbage can and tosses into the top of the garbage can with Oscar still inside. Right before Oscar flew in the garbage truck, he screamed a more hesitant normal non-grouchy ¡§NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!¡¨ almost like Anakin Skywalker¡¦s Star Wars III scream.*
*ape love hands out a $50 bill to the garbagemen and continues heading down the aisle with lid in hand, while the garbagemen start to drive away with the garbage truck. The crowd cheers in deafening happiness, knowing that ape love has just cinched a Crap-a-Mania moment that nobody will seem to forget soon. Meanwhile, back to the ring with Howard Finkel!*
Finkel: Coming down the aisle, weighing in at 270 pounds, from Filthadelphia, Pencilvania, HE IS THE OTHER HALF OF THE CURRENT EWT WORLD TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS, DORF!
*New theme plays, ¡§Cancer¡¨ by Filter as pyro and other ridiculousness happens as dorf comes out underneath the CrapTron to cheers and salutations! He raises his handy Cheese Sandwich hi-and-lo for the mega-powerful explosion and walks down the aisle in a calm, collective, cool look. He sees that BRUTAL, DISGUSTING, DIRTY, BOTTOM-FEEDING, TRASH-BAG IDIOT son of a b**** already in the ring, which brings to a small smirk to dorf. He strolls right into the ring just find as we find out who are the first competitors. Cheers are all-around for the duo, as ape love comes right up to dorf and hugs him. Dorf does nothing and lets ape bask in all his mighty hugging glory.*
Finkel: Now, the entrant who drew first in this EWT Tag-Team TLC Gauntlet match.
¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K
¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K
¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K..
¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K
¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K.
¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K........
¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K...........
¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K...
¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K.
¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K..
¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K.
¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K
¡K¡K¡K
¡K.
*TEAM IRELAND!*
Finkel: Coming down the aisle, at a combined weight of 396 pounds, being accompanied to the ring by their Coach, Pat O¡¦Hare, they are Aidan Donnelly and Sean McCann, TEAM IRELAND!
*Coach O¡¦Hare leads his boys down the aisle as he is in disgust that the Irish were picked first. Oh well. Aidan Donnelly and Sean McCann get right away into the ring and went right to ape love and dorf to start the match with rights!*
Bell: DING! DING! DING!
*Rights are exchanged back and forth by all four competitors as Coach O¡¦Hare stands in the back of the ring looking for ¡§something.¡¨ Team Ireland takes the advantage with their rough scallion attitude and strengths with the roots of the Irish in toll to proxy the dorf and ape love. There was a trap in all this as the corner where Aidan Donnelly is punching ape love, mr. love left that trash can lid there and shocked the living heck out of Aidan with a home run shot to his cranium. ape love grabs a slab of turkey out of nowhere from inside his tights and lets out a loud OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! and places the turkey meat in between his fingers to perform the psycadeli claw!*
*Meanwhile, Dorf & Sean McCann are slugging at the corner with rights until dorf ducked under and came back with rights of his own as the crowd goes wild! After three straight rights, dorf does a Northern Lights Suplex to him and immediately goes outside of the ring¡Knear where Coach O¡¦Hare is standing. Dorf tries to look for something, but O¡¦Hare blows something at dorf, a white material that looked like MR. FUJI¡¦S SALT! Dorf is immediately blinded by the light and O¡¦Hare shoves him back into the ring as McCann covers dorf!*
Referee:
1!
2!
*dorf kicks out!*
*Ape Love still has the Pyschodeli Claw locked in, but Aidan Donnelly will not give up as he finally does something about it by kicking ape love in the whatever family jewels he has and the claw/turkey is released. Coach O¡¦Hare jogs to the other side of the ring and slides to Aidan a Steel Chair to him. Aidan picks up the Steel Chair and hits a **** shot right to ape love¡¦s cranium! ape love just stands there unfazed by the result and goes right to Aidan Donnelly with a kick to his gut and a Double Arm DDT.*
*An enraged ape goes for the Eye for an Eye, but Sean McCann steamrolls out of nowhere with an Enzuguiri to the back of ape¡¦s head. McCann stands up right away and jumps to the top turnbuckle to hit a Moonsault on ape and covers quickly!*
Referee:
1!
2!
*Ape kicks out with authority!*
*ape love stands right up as he attempts to go Clothesline or Mandible Claw McCann, but he turns 90 degrees to strike dorf with the Mandible Claw! The crowd is in shock as McCann stands there, but Aidan Donnelly wants Ape down as he interrupted the party with an Irish right to ape love. With another stuff punch to ape, he executes an European Uppercut to both dorf and ape love. Dorf goes down, while ape hangs on the ropes. Aidan goes right to ape as McCann makes dorf stand up by the corner and goes to the second turnbuckle to hit a Tornado DDT! McCann covers!*
Referee:
1!
2!
*Dorf barely kicks out to the crowd¡¦s delight!*
*Aidan Donnelly grabs ape¡¦s neck from behind with a Modified Sleeper Hold (Cobra Clutch), but he picks ape up to execute the Dublin Suplex¡K¡Kwith ape¡¦s head landing ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR! AIDAN COVERS!
Referee:
1!
2!
*ape barely lifts his shoulder up at the last microsecond! The crowd cheers 2 LOUDLY!*
*Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, McCann went to the outside of the ring to his Coach and they brought out together a wooden table! The crowd squeals in delight as they bring the table into the ring and by the one corner. McCann drags dorf¡¦s carcass onto the table and places the heavily used Steel Chair right on top of dorf¡¦s face. McCann climbs to the top turnbuckle slowly as it gets the crowd standing up to see what he is going to do. He does his traditional end of match rites and signals the crowd the game is over as he attempts to do the 810 Splash! HE FLIES INTO PERFECT POSITION, BUT DORF THROWS THE STEEL CHAIR UP IN MCCANN¡¦S BODY, ALTERING THE LANDING!!!!! DORF MOVES OUT OF THE WAY WITH ALL THE STRENGTH HE HAS LEFT AS MCCANN GOES INTO THE WOODEN TABLE, SMASHING IT INTO MANY PIECES!!!!!!!*
*Aidan was quite upset that he only got a 2 count with what just happened to ape¡K.he had some choice, Irish words, but it is quickly resolved when he saw his teammate destroying dorf at the
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:37:09 GMT -5
time. He makes ape stand up with a few rights and an European Uppercut keep him tired, and then starts the first of the Triqueta’s and completes it no problem. Aidan makes ape stand up once more and executes the GUINESS HANGOVER, while McCann just missed his spot simultaneously as the crowd goes wild. Donnelly drags ape’s carcass away from the table area and covers him!*
Referee:
1!
2!
*Dorf crawls his way in to block chop onto Donnelly’s back to break-up the three count!*
*The crowd is chanting HOLY S****! or they’re surprised at the 2 count that just had occurred. Aidan Donnelly is not pleased and gets his Irish ass up right away to make dorf stand up and attempts the DDT. The DDT is trying to be hit down, but dorf is blocking the move to be completed and executes a Northern Lights Suplex of his own! All four competitors are down as the referee has nothing else to do, but count?! *
Referee:
1!
2!
*dorf starts to stir around a little, as does ape*
3!
4!
*Donnelly starts to stir, as dorf begins to crawl towards Donnelly. McCann is still down, bleeding from his forehead (chair shot) and a part of his back (table)*
5!
*Dorf is up, Donnelly is still down and ape is still down, but about to be up. Dorf crawls outside the ring and looks for something underneath the ring. Coach O’Hare comes out of nowhere and uses his belt to choke dorf from behind, but dorf grabs a fire extinguisher and bashes it over O’Hare’s head and he goes down!*
6! – to Donnelly
7! – to Donnelly
*Dorf continues looking for what he needed underneath the ring and it seems like he has found it….a STEEL TABLE! He slides that puppy inside the ring. Meanwhile, ape is up as well as Donnelly. They are both up at the same time exchanging rights at each other very slowly. This gets the crowd riled up as dorf slides in that Steel Table, near the ropes in the middle.*
*Dorf goes right back to the middle of the ring and flies his body in out of nowhere to interrupt the brawl between ape & aidan. Ape, as an accidental result goes outside of the ring, while Aidan hanged on for the ride that turned into a Stinger Splash into the turnbuckle. Dorf then picks up Donnelly and performs a Belly-to-Belly Suplex to him as dorf covers!*
Referee:
1!
2!
*Donnelly kicks out!*
*McCann is still down, bleeding almost profusely…while ape is outside of the ring, looking for somethings. Meanwhile, back into the main competition, dorf makes Donnelly stand up as he throws a couple of rights, but Donnelly fights back with rights of his own and slugs another Stiff European Uppercut to dorf. Dorf lays on the ropes, but Aidan Irish Whips him to the other side, near the wooden table debris and flings back to suffer with the Snap Vertical Suplex.*
*Outside the ring, Coach O’Hare starts to stir up, but ape uses that fire extinguisher that dorf used and expels the contents inside to O’Hare’s face. The crowd cheers very loudly as Aidan Donnelly’s eyes become big and watery. Aidan tries to go after him, but ape threatened to expel the extinguisher at him, so he backed off and continued to beat up on dorf.*
*Donnelly makes dorf stand up and places him into the Cobra Clutch…he has a hard time lifting up dorf this time, but hits an Inverted DDT with the Clutch still in hold! Dorf starts to fall asleep as ape snakes his way into the ring as he unleashes his weapons….LIGHTER FLUID AND MATCHES! The Lighter fluid is being spread out all over the Steel Table as the Cobra Clutch is still being applied to dorf by Aidan Donnelly. After a minute of making the fluid, ape brings out another weapon as he uses the Steel Chair to hit on the back of Donnelly’s head. To make his happiness even better, he uses the Steel Chair to elevate his favorite move, the Tree Hugger!*
*After the Tree Hugger hits, McCann comes out of nowhere with a Clothesline to ape love as the blood pouring from his face is making him unfazed, finally! McCann has a crazed look to his face as he wants this match to be over…he sprints to the top turnbuckle and hits a Double-Foot Stomp to Ape Love, but ape catches his feet in mid-air and Sean trips! Dorf, from behind is somewhat and lights the Steel Table with fire….Ape Love hangs onto McCann’s boots as he gets right up with him with a stiff right to him. ape then Irish Whips McCann to the ropes and once he flinged back, HE BACK BODY DROPS TO DORF’S RKO TO PERFORM THE BK STACKER THROUGH THE FLAMING STEEL TABLE!!!!!*
Crowd: HOLY S***! HOLY S***! HOLY S***! HOLY S***! HOLY S***! HOLY S***!
*ape love attempts to cover for victory, while dorf slides outside of the ring, down.!*
Referee:
1!
2! *Aidan and Coach are aware that McCann will NOT get up by the count of three and try to save him….*
*….but its too late!*
3!
*The blood on Sean McCann’s face has turned into a dark red-black color as Aidan Donnelly and a partially blind Coach O’Hare are in shock as to have witnessed what just happened. They tried to save their blood, but it was too late. Aidan and Coach get up slowly and pick up the remains of Sean McCann as EMTs and referees care to tend to them outside of the ring. A stretcher becomes needed as everybody is being cheered for their participation in this match so far.*
Finkel: Introducing the NEXT tag-team….
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*"All About the Pentiums" - Weird Al Yankovic plays*
Finkel: Coming down the aisle, weighing in at a combination of 379 pounds, from Stevens Point, Wisconsin, Mike Hodgson and Joel Nelson, THE NYRDS!
*The Nyrds come sprinting down the aisle to cheers and what-not as they seemed very determined to get them tag-belts later tonight. You see them hang up 35 ft. in the air currently, so that no ladder can reach that high. They feast their attention on dorf first as they do stomps, throw punches, and anything to keep him down. Out of nowhere, ape love sprints toward the ropes on the other side of the ring for extra leverage and speed and flies to the other side where Nyrds & Dorf are located as Dorf stands up, finally. Ape Love comes in to join the party, via suicide Plancha!*
*The referee begins to count!*
Referee:
1!
2!
3!
*All, but dorf are up as Ape attempts to beat up dorf, yet again as he somehow has the psychoapeguy mentality back in his little, feeble mind. Mike & Joel are discussing some stuff…while Ape applies the Mandible Claw to Dorf!*
Mike: I have a great idea, saw this in a movie once.
Joel: Please, this better be NOT from MS3k days.
Mike: No, no…we got this in the bag if we hope it works, as long as he and I have a microphone…which you will be handing to him.
Joel: *disgruntled* Fine….
*Joel goes right up to Howard Finkel and requests two microphones. Finkel hands it to him no problem as Joel hands one to Mike and the other forcing it to psychoapeguy’s free arm.*
4!
Mike: Hey ape. APE, what is your mission?
*pauses a brief second and answers*
pyschoapeguy: To...ensure the happiness...of dorf and his cheese sandwich.
Mike: You are about to fail that mission by being your other self, pyschoapeguy.
*Ape turns around tearfully as his microphone his dropped so that he can focus looking at dorf, who is still under the wrath of the Mandible Claw. He looked back at the Nyrds again and back at dorf, knowing full-well that he is no longer psychoapeguy, but he is ape love and the crowd loves him…or so they thought*
Crowd: Boooo…
Mike: You hear the crowd booing you pychoapeguy, because you know that is not your true identity.
5!
Ape: *mic-less* But…but, I NEED both….ohhhh….i do not know what to do…this is NOT fun.
*Ape relinquishes dorf from the Mandible Claw and tosses him half-way up Sesame St. Ape walks to the ring steps and starts smashing and denting the ring steps with three pounds with each arm and then he stops. Mike Hodgson nods with happiness as Ape stops everything, except breathing. Ape went down like he “froze” or something. After Ape went down, Mike & Joel decided to pick onto dorf as they drag him into the ring as the referee yells…*
6!
*Both Joel & Mike drag dorf back into the ring as it looks like he is knocked out. The outside count ends as at least one member of each team is back into the ring. Blood is starting to become evident on dorf’s chin, probably from the after-effects of the Mandible Claw. Joel covers dorf for the pinfall victory attempt!*
Referee:
1!
2!
*Dorf barely lifted his shoulder up at the count of two!
*The Nyrds act in shock as to their easy game plan almost succeeded within two minutes after they came down to the ring. They congregate for a few seconds then said, “Plan B.” Joel yells to Mike….”MIKE! GET THE 3DO’s!*
*Joel goes up to the top turnbuckle and executes a perfect Double-Stomp onto dorf, hoping that will keep him down. Mike slides one 3DO to Joel and he brings out the other 3DO. The first 3DO is tucked underneath dorf’s head, while takes in the other as it appears that the Nyrds are about to hit their Tag-team weapon trademark the Con-SOLe-to! Mike Hodgson will the one attempting to hit dorf with it as he raises high and mightilty, but with whatever strength dorf had left-over he moved so quick that PICKED UP THE 3DO AND SMASHED THAT INTO THE FACE OF MIKE, WHILE DORF JUST LOW-BLOWED JOEL BEFORE HE COULD RETALIATE!*
*Mike goes down, while Joel is still standing up with all his mind at his groin from all that pain that dorf has ensued. Dorf crawls up to give Joel Nelson a Dorf Bottom. Dorf crawls to cover!*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:37:52 GMT -5
Referee:
1!
2!
*Mike Hodgson breaks up the count as he has a nice dent on his forehead!*
*Dorf gets up right away and hits a dorf-plex to Mike Hodgson and he goes down right away! Dorf was about to cover, but Joel Nelson comes at him with full speed, but he falls victim to the DORF-BUSTER! The crowd gets extra-loud cheery-cheery, as dorf raises his arms hi-and-lo, knowing victory is nearby, but once dorf turned around AN EVIL DAVID DAVIES COMES OUT OF NOWHERE TO HIT DORF WITH A CARBON LIGHTTUBE TO DORF’S FOREHEAD!!!!!!!!!!! DAVID DAVIES DRAGS MIKE HODGSON ATOP DORF FOR THE COVER!
Referee:
1!
2!
*blood profusely floods dorf’s forehead from that lighttube that shattered into many pieces.*
3!
*EMTs go right after dorf as ape is still being laid out on that corner of the ring and ignored. They tend to him by wrapping a bandage across dorf’s forehead, but the blood continues to fill up the bandage. Another stretcher lies wait outside the ring as Davies bloodied hands show that he achieved one objective, now four more to go.*
Finkel: Introducing our NEXT competitor…
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*“Praeludium” in D Minor by Johann Pachelbel plays*
Finkel: Coming down the aisle, weighing in at a combination of 831 pounds, from Bad Axe, Michigan, they are the team of Mr. Big and Mr. Bad!
*They walk down Sesame St. in the heat of the moment all decked out and ready to go for the sky as Davies aligns his generals, Mike Hodgson and Joel Nelson are somewhat up with 3DOs in hand, waiting to launches. Once Big and Bad got close to the ring, Davies screams “RELEASE!” in terms of the 3DOs! Both Big & Bad punch the 3DO’s into dust that makes the Nyrds worry a bitty.*
*The Nyrds next thing to try is to single-out one guy in the process and they chose Mr. Big, because they’re afraid of what Mr. Bad can do to either guy. Mike Hodgson sprints to the ropes and hits the Springboard Plancha, but Mr. Big catches him easily. Joel Nelson tries to speed at Mr. Big next with a Suicide Dive, but again, Mr. Big catches him fairly easily as well. With David Davies their last hope, he tries something different that he thought would counter shift the weight and make Mr. Big go down is a Flying Crossbody Plancha, but he too, is caught by Mr. Big. MR. BIG THEN PICKS UP ALL THREE MEN INTO A FALLAWAY SLAM ONTO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE RING, WHERE JOEL NELSON IS HIT BY THE STAIRS! MR. BIG STILL HELD ONTO DAVID DAVIES AND HE PERFORMS THE HFD TO HIM ONTO THE ASPHAULT SESAME STREET OUT HERE ON CRAP-A-MANIA IV!!!!!!!!*
Referee:
1!
2!
*The referee begins his 10 count as Mr. Big dominates just those three men alone. Mr. Bad looks for something underneath the ring as Mr. Big runs towards Mike Hodgson with a Big Boot to his face, but Mike ducks!*
3!
*Mike Hodgson attempts to use some of his martial training kicks to knock Mr. Big’s knees down, but Mr. Big is just too, um big. On the other hand, Mr. Bad still cannot find what he is looking for, but Joel Nelson gets up right away from that nasty bump with the stairs, right next to where ape is still laid out. Joel attempts to damage Mr. Bad by punching his back, but this led to the stoppage of whatever Mr. Bad was searching for and he gave Joel a stiff Headbutt of his own and tossed him like a ragdoll into the ring!*
4!
5!
*Mike has been lucky not to be within grasp of an HFD recipient, unlike his mentor David Davies. Mr. Big has finally had enough and starts to pick up Mike, but he squirms his way out by Thumbs to the Eye, punches all over to Mr. Big’s shoulder and face, doing what it takes not to be Slammed it looks like. It succeeded!*
6!
*Mike made Mr. Big partially blind and is trying to keep him focused by trying to knock him down. Meanwhile, Davies is still knocked out on the floor, near where Mr. Bad is still trying to find whatever he is looking for.
7!
8!
*Still outside the ring and Mike is trying to keep Mr. Big down yet again with a high speed barrage of kicks, punches, low drop kicks and quick elbow drops, Big is slowly getting up though. Meanwhile on the outside Mr. Bad is still searching under the ring for something. Joel who is still feeling the effects of the Mr. Bad head butt is back to his feet in the ring and just in time to see Mr. Bad pull out a ... Bed of Nails!!*
*The crowd has sparked interest at the site of such a dangerous object as Joel is hanging by the ropes to avoid his team’s count-out!*
9!
*This didn't have much affect except that Mr. Bad dropped the bed of nails. Although it has landed face up next to the side of the ring, on the other side, where Mike can't keep Mr. Bad down. Mike rebounds off the ropes looking for a flying forearm! No Mr. Big caught him by the throat, Mr. Big sees the Bed of Nails and without a thought to the match rules chokeslams Mike over the top rope into the bed of nails! The referee sees this and calls for the bell.*
*A Huge Holy S***! chant starts up!*
10!
Referee: RING THE BELL, BIG & BAD ARE ELIMINATED!!
ANNOUNCER: Big and Bad have been eliminated by Count-Out!
*The crowd cheers as Mr. Big and Mr. Bad frustrated head to the back in disappointment, but knowing they left their mark for creating a memorable Crap-a-Mania IV moment. Mike rolls of the bed of nails his back all bloody and torn up. Somehow though he is still moving as Joel checks on him and the both re-enter the ring looking worse for wear, while Davies is finally stirring a little bit outside the ring.*
Finkel: Introducing the 5th Tag-team….
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*an odd puff of smoke signaled something that has never been abounded by foot at Crap-a-Mania until now….*
Finkel: Coming down the aisle at a combined weight of 399 pounds, from Foreign Alien Island, Zeleke and Faboon, TEAM RAFT SHACK!
*They waltz down Sesame St. like in clown bicycles and what-not to get the crowd cheering for them and it worked, sorta. Some of them were being booed by the crowd by some stupid reason, but who knows….maybe they want the Nyrds to win?*
*With some more Doink-ish hijinks to the crowd they finally make their way outside the ring structure, where David Davies is nearly up and atom. Raft Shack gets right to business by getting a ladder from underneath the ring and use it together as David Davies finally got up all the way and down he goes!*
*Zeleke takes the ladder away from Faboon and places a part of it into the ring. Joel Nelson runs to the ropes and Baseball Slides toward the ladder, hitting into the Zeleke’s face….the crowd screamed as a result, as some orange stuff starts to come out of Zekeke’s nose like its blood or something, but in a different color.*
*Faboon enters the ring to start beating down onto Mike Hodgson and then uses the ropes to hit a Spinning Heel Kick to get Mike Hodgson down. He immediately runs toward Joel Nelson and hits a running Enziguri to knock Nelson outside the ring, right next to the fallen ladder and a fazed Zeleke who still has orange stuff pouring down out of his nose.*
*Faboon tosses Mike Hodgson outside of the ring through the 2nd rope by force and making him land near his partner and the ladder. Faboon picks up Zeleke to inform that we’re gonna plunge them down or something crazy to that effect…I dunno, they understand it, not me. They placed both members of the Nyrds into place on top of the ladder. After that, they went back inside and they ran to the ropes, flung back for leverage and faster speed, jumped to the top rope, Springboarded and THEY HIT A MOVING IN STEREO MOONSAULT ONTO THE LADDER TO THE NYRDS!*
*Another Holy S***! Chant broke out from the crowd, as Zeleke and Faboon are up right away. Zeleke, being a little lazy like he is, decides to take a break outside the ring, while Faboon shoves both members of the Nyrds inside back into the ring. Faboon goes back inside the ring to about finish off one of the Nyrds, probably Mike…since he hates how “common” that name is…but before he would finish him off with a bizarre Crashing Helicopter Crush, he see’s that Zeleke is chillin’ outside the ring minding his own busyness. Zeleke is clapping for his tag-partner to hit his signature move, but this upsets Faboon when he is doing all/most of the work.*
*Faboon, instead goes outside the ring and slaps around Zeleke and is forced to do some work back into the ring. He probably agreed to this, but he kinda forgot me thinks. Well, this dragged enough time for the Nyrds to heal with them arguing and bickering outside the ring. Both Nyrds were still down, but the referee was not counting whatsoever. Once back in the ring, Mike & Joel shoved Zeleke outside the ring and drag Faboon into their possession…they hit their signature Tag-Team move, Wii’re Done with Joel doing the Powerbomb portion as Mike is still limping from that nail spot earlier. Meanwhile, Zeleke is running around on the floor outside the ring in circles ala Curly Howard of the Three Stooges. Nyrds cover…*
Referee:
1!
2!
3!
Referee: TEAM RAFTSHACK HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Finkel: Introducing the 6th tag-team….
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:38:20 GMT -5
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*"Stayin' Alive (remix)" by N-Trance plays*
Finkel: Coming down the aisle, weighing in at combined weight of 469 pounds, from Table 5, they are the Boogie Knights 3000!
*They do their disco dance down the aisle as this get’s boo’s from the crowd to show-off this is the 00’s, not the 70s. Fans were not pleased whatsoever and they made their way into the ring fine as they start throwing rights to the Nyrds!*
*Erik Majors then took major advantage on Mike Hodgson and picks him up in the Military Press formation and tosses HIM OUTSIDE THE RING, MAKING HIM LAND ON THE LADDER!*
*Meanwhile, Maxx Awesome dealt with Joel Nelson, prepping up with their 1 Knight Stand finisher as he punches Nelson with rights on the corner. After tossing Mike, Erik streamlines toward the opposite corner at full speed with Maxx moving just in time for Joel to be squashed by Erik! Maxx goes outside the ring and goes to the top turnbuckle to set-up for the 1 Knight Stand, while Erik Majors is in position ready to throw Joel Nelson back onto the ring again. They execute the 1 Knight Stand perfectly as seemed damn well focused to win the belts and then they stopped. Erik told something to Maxx and each one requested a microphone*
Erik & Maxx: Tonight may be Crap-a-Mania, but its also the night to DANCE!
*"Stayin' Alive (remix)" by N-Trance plays*
*The lights get dark, as BK3K get their funk down with boo’s very loudly, as a spinning globe thingy conquers the middle of the ring! Somehow through all that process, ape from outside the ring, laying down all this time finally gets up to some angriness when he hears BK3K singing as it’s the powers from the 70s that has reaked havoc into his rotted mind. He enters the ring, all pissed off, but BK3K had a plan for this when the spinning globe came down close enough for it to be within Erik’s grasp.*
*Erik grabs the globe and SMASHES IT AGAINST APE’S HEAD, BEFORE HE WOULD DO THE PSYCHADELI CLAW TO MAXX!! An electrical zap occurs and ape’s skull is shown world-wide as burns and blood appear all of his charred face! EWT EMTs flock the arena to drag ape away. The regular lighting is placed back on the arena now and David Davies, and both members of the Nyrds all have 3DOs in hand as they hit a con-SOLe-TO to BK3K! The Nyrds cover!
Referee:
1!
2!
3!
Referee: BOOGIE KNIGHTS 3000 HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!.
*….and here comes the last tag-team of this match, too boo’s….*
*”No Quarter” by Led Zeppelin plays*
Finkel: Introducing, the last tag-team! Coming down the aisle, weighing in at a combine weight of 459 pounds, from Chewelah, Washington, they are the Cidal Squad!
*They come walking down Sesame St. with each of them carrying one ladder. The tag-team belts have been lowered to around 15 ft. so its down to the Nyrds and the Cidal Squad. Davies attacks the Cidal Squad, but to no avail…Johnathan Doe throws a ladder right to Davies’ face as he goes down. The Cidal Squad continue their trek down the street (Doe picking up his ladder), knowing full damn well what they came to do tonight and they have a great shot to win those belts right now.*
*They get right into the ring with the ladders still in their hands. The Nyrds have 3DO’s and all four attack at once as best as they can, but always in history, ladder beats video game console. Mike Hodgson got hit hard by the ladder and is outside the ring right away. Joel ducks just in time and that ladder flies outside the ring, Joel sprints to Andy Duke with a stiff Clothesline as Johnathan Doe starts to open the ladder in the middle of the ring. He climbs up it, Terminator-esque, but JOEL NELSON POWERBOMBS HIM TO THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!!*
*This was enough time to distract Andy Duke as he got up right to climb the ladder on the other side as to where Doe was climbing. Joel Nelson sees that Andy Duke is climbing up the ladder and that the only way to save his chances at the belts is by climbing the ladder with Andy Duke on it. Joel sprints up the ladder up to the point where Andy Duke is currently located and they begin to throw rights…back-and-forth about five times, before nearing the top of the ladder, both trying to reach those tag-belts to no avail.*
*Andy Duke then grabbed Joel Nelson’s stomach and hits A CIDAL BOMB ATOP OF THE LADDER 15 FEET HIGH IN THE AIR!!!!!!!! Johnathan Doe watches this and seizes this to his advantage. Doe climbs the ladder quick as Mike Hodgson sees that, but its too late as Doe has already reached the top of the ladder! Mike tries to push the ladder down, but he’s too weak and too late! Doe grabs the belts and he falls down…winning the match with his compadre, Andy Duke!!
Winners: by grabbing the belts off the ladder, THE CIDAL SQUAD!!!!!
*The Cidal Squad is so happy and got very lucky by the fact with all this ensuing chaos of being the lucky lottery entrant into this TLC Gauntlet match. This will forever be in the fans to remember as the all-time favorite matches with weapons used all over the place and wrestling like we’ve seen none other. Great job by all the participants as Mike Hodgson and David Davies are being dragged away by stretchers with Joel Nelson by their sides. The camera fades to the next segment.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:38:47 GMT -5
* We cut backstage to Toom E, as he is standing with Comedian, Smarky, Jon Toro, & Peter Polk.* Comedian: This is ridiculous!! Just what the hell am I doing here? Toro: I agree. We are part of this damn roster, yet 3 people did not show up. And what’s that leave us with? Still NOTHING!! Polk: Oh, I see it as no big deal. I’m new here, anyways. Smarky: Polk, shut the hell up. I owe you for what you did to me in our match. This is far from over. Toom: Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen…calm down. I wanted you all here so you can be one of the first to hear my major announcement. Now, excuse me so I may head on out to the ring.* * Toom E walks out onto the stage & gets in the ring.* You know, how fitting that I come out here right after the TLC Gauntlet Match. Such a fine victory for those Cidal Squad boys. Let’s just see if they can also retain the single’s championship tonight. But now, I am here to announce something involving the next major EWT pay per view, as promised. You see, in the month of June…I will be taking some time off. And in my absence, I will need somebody to run things around here. Instead of going to the Board of Directors & have somebody run things who you fans have no clue who they are, I have decided something better. You see, on June 3rd, 2007, EWT will bring back a pay per view that was missed last January. It was a birthday tradition of mine to have such pay per view. But due to the fact that I had been planning this for a long time, I held off on the pay per view until now. And on June 3rd, 2007, Toom E’s House Party III returns to pay per view with a match of my creation, fitting for any EWT superstars who wish to be involved. The TLC Rumble will return to pay per view & sign ups are now being taken for anybody who wishes to be involved. This mega-battle royal will return, in which it is everybody for themselves with battle royal rules. That is, until the Final 2 stand in the ring & that when all hell will break loose…as the Final 2 will participate in a TLC Match. And whomever climbs that ladder to the top & reaches that special EWT Briefcase will be in charge of EWT in my absence. And this means they can do WHATEVER they feel is needed in EWT. * Cut to a video package regarding the main event.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 6, 2007 20:39:28 GMT -5
*Back in the ring, stage crew are bringing out three different tables, setting them along the barricade. The tables each have “ONE”, “RAGNAL”, or “CORRAL” carved into it. Lillian Garcia is in the ring, ready to announce this year’s CAM finale.*
FINKEL: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the first ever “Remember the Name” Tables Match, and is for the EWT World Heavyweight Championship!
'Hell March' starts to play as the audience boos. After a few seconds however, the music begins to slow down and warp, eventually slowing to a dull tone. The audience begins chatting to themselves as even the ToomiTron has changed to static.
Suddenly, another song starts to play.
The pyramid that has been situated at the opposite of the arena opens. Bright lights escape from it.
At 0:15, 20 or so people dressed in uniform similar to that of Joe One walk out in two lines at either side of the aisle. They raise their arms in the 'V' position.
At 0:36, Richard Clay, Jack Jupiter, and the Midnight Mystery walk from out of the pyramid and to the ring posts. They start to untie them.
At 0:56, TJT walk outside of the pyramid, with Terina waving the Ingsoc flag. Jason and Jimmy sort of 'dance' out as they too walk to the ring apron to help untie the ropes.
At 1:28, Christopher Indigo walks out of the pyramid with a microphone.
Indigo: Ladies and gentlemen, the future EWT World Heavyweight Champion, Mr. Joe One.
At 1:38, Joe One steps into frame. The light from the pyramid casts an umbra over his figure. He slowly walks out, revealing that the word 'GLORYVIC' has been stenciled on his cheek and that his face is covered in blood. As he walks down, the 20 or so people lie down as Joe walks over them. He looks up. We see a mostly shadowed figure with black trousers sitting in a luxury box with the bearded man.
At 2:21, blue, red, and black strobe lights begin as Joe One continues to slowly walk down across the backs of the people. The ring ropes closest to him have been taken apart, and Jack Jupiter and the Midnight Mystery get down from it. Jack and Midnight get on all fours to become steps for One to enter the ring. The 20 or so have since gotten up and surround the ring. They start to chant 'BB' that grows progressively louder with the music as Thunder gets a bucket of cold water that he dumps on the head of One. One doesn't even flinch.
At 3:45, the members of Minipax not named Joe One begin to reattach the ring ropes. One stares at his feet, not moving an inch.
After the ropes are reattached, the male members of Minipax give the 'V' sign as Terina waves the flag. As the song ends, giant banners drop from all across the arena as the horns blast out-of-tune. The banners state: WAR IS PEACE SLAVERY IS FREEDOM IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
Fink: And his opponent, from San Diego, California, he is "The Angel of Death" Mike!! CORRAL!!
*With everything from Joe’s entrance removed, Papa Roach is now on stage, preparing to perform for the live crowd.*
Listen up, turn it up and rock it out party on, I wanna hear you scream and shout this is real, as real as it gets I came to get down to get some f***ing respect taking it back to hardcore level you better be ready, put your pedal to the metal taking it back to hardcore level you better be ready, put your pedal to the metal.
Go!
Whoa I'll never give in Whoa I'll never give up Whoa I'll never give in And I just wanna be, wanna be loved Whoa I'll never give in Whoa I'll never give up Whoa I'll never give in And I just wanna be, wanna be loved
I want domination I want your submission I see you’re not resisting To this temptation I’ve got one confession A love deprivation I’ve got a jet black heart It’s all f***ed up and it’s falling apart
Whoa I'll never give in Whoa I'll never give up Whoa I'll never give in And I just wanna be, wanna be loved Whoa I'll never give in Whoa I'll never give up Whoa I'll never give in And I just wanna be, wanna be loved
I’ve got another confession I fell to temptation And there is no question There was some connection I’ve got to follow my heart No matter how far I’ve gotta roll the dice Never look back and never think twice
Whoa I'll never give in Whoa I'll never give up Whoa I'll never give in And I just wanna be, wanna be loved Whoa I'll never give in Whoa I'll never give up Whoa I'll never give in And I just wanna be, wanna be loved
Take your past and burn it up and let it go Carry on; I’m stronger than you’ll ever know That’s the deal; you get no respect You’re gonna get yours You better watch your waxing neck
Take your past and burn it up and let it go Carry on; I’m stronger than you’ll ever know That’s the deal; you get no respect You’re gonna get yours You better watch your waxing neck
Whoa I'll never give in Whoa I'll never give up Whoa I'll never give in And I just wanna be, wanna be loved Whoa I'll never give in Whoa I'll never give up Whoa I'll never give in And I just wanna be, wanna be loved
Whoa I'll never give in Whoa I'll never give up Whoa I'll never give in And I just wanna be, wanna be loved Whoa I'll never give in Whoa I'll never give up Whoa I'll never give in And I just wanna be, wanna be loved
* As Papa Roach is performing their song, Mike Corral comes out right in the middle of the song to a tremendous pop. Mike looks from side to side before grinning, knowing that this is his chance to shine. Mike walks down to the ring before sliding in, staring daggers at Joe.
FINKEL: And finally…their opponent, hailing in from Scranton, PA…he is the current EWT World Heavyweight Champion…”Elementalcidal”…MIKE RAGNAAAAL!
*On the other side of the stage now is Linkin Park, preparing to sing for the crowd next. Techno music starts to play as Mike Shinoda prepares to wrap.*
I�ve been diggin into crates ever since I was livin in space Before the ratrace, before monkeys had human traits I mastered numerology and bigbang theology Performed lobotomies with telekinetic psychology Invented the mic so I could start blessin it Chincheckin kids to make my point like an impressionist Many men have tried to shake us But I twist mic cords in double helixes and show them what I�m made of I buckle knees like leg braces Cast the spell of instrumental-ness and all of you emcees who hate us So you can try on, Leave you without a shoulder to cry on From now to infinity let icons be bygones I fire bomb ghostly notes haunt this I tried threats but moved on to a promise I stomp crap with or without an accomplice And run the gauntlet with whoever that wants this
High Voltage The unforgettable sound High Voltage Bringing you up and taking you down High Voltage Coming at you from every side High Voltage Making the rhythm and rhyme collide
Akira, I put a kink in the backbones of clones with microphones Never satisfy my rhyme jones Sprayin bright day over what you might say My Blood type's Krylon Technicolor type A On highways ride with road rage Cages of wind and cages of tin that bounce all around Surround sound Devouring the scene Subliminal gangrene paintings Over while the same thing Sing song karaoke copy bullcrap Break bones verbally with sticks and stone tactics Fourth dimension, combat convention Write rhymes at ease while the track stands at attention Meant to put you away with the pencil Pistol, official, 16 line a rhyme missile While you risk your all, I pick out all your flaws Spin rah, blah blah blah You can say you saw
High Voltage The Unforgettable sound High Voltage Bringing you up and taking you down High Voltage Coming at you from every side High Voltage Making the rhythm and rhyme collide
High Voltage The Unforgettable sound High Voltage Bringing you up and taking you down High Voltage Coming at you from every side High Voltage Making the rhythm and rhyme collide
And like the rock and rap You know what i mean People act like you know Wow that�s a new invention That craps brand new We're constantly evolving It is constantly changing
Sometimes...
Sometimes I feel like a prophet Misunderstood Under the gun like a new disease
Sometimes I feel like a prophet Misunderstood Under the gun like a new disease
High Voltage The Unforgettable sound High Voltage Bringing you up and taking you down High Voltage Coming at you from every side High Voltage Making the rhythm and rhyme collide
High Voltage The Unforgettable sound High Voltage Bringing you up and taking you down High Voltage Coming at you from every side High Voltage Making the rhythm and rhyme collide
High Voltage The Unforgettable sound High Voltage Bringing you up and taking you down High Voltage Coming at you from every side High Voltage Making the rhythm and rhyme collide
High Voltage The Unforgettable sound High Voltage Bringing you up and taking you down High Voltage Coming at you from every side High Voltage Making the rhythm and rhyme collide
*During the song, Mike Ragnal, wearing the EWT World title around his waist, slowly rises from beneath the stage, his head hung low. As Chester sings the second “Sometimes”, Mike quickly raises his head high, and walks down the ramp. As he reaches the ring, he jumps onto the apron, four bolts of lightning striking the corners. Mike then gets into the ring, raising his arms in an Orton pose, as if to purposely soak in the crowd’s despisal of their World champion.*
*After the song ends, Mike takes the title off of his waist, and hands it to the ref. The ref raises the title up high, showing it to all sides of the audience. The ref then hands it over to Lillian, and then signals the bell to start the match. The minute the bell rings, Corral leaps onto Joe, taking him down to the canvas. Corral mounts himself on Joe’s chest, throwing lefts and rights into One’s face. Ragnal, not wanting to be left out of the action, grabs Corral’s arms right into a Shock to the System.*
JR: Well, it’s quite early for that maneuver.
JBL: Jim, remember, they need to put their opponent through a table. Right now, these guys are using every advantage they can to weaken their guy and put them through their table!
*Corral, still energized enough, runs to the nearest ropes and bounces off the top rope, moonsaulting behind Ragnal. Ragnal, in surprise, releases the STTS, and turns around to Corral, who meets him with a Shining Enziguri! Corral gets back up to his feet, raising his arms high as the crowd cheers for him, staring at Ragnal, down on the ground trying to get back to his feet. Meanwhile, Joe sneaks up behind Corral and picks him up, hitting a sidewalk slam onto the canvas! Joe runs to the ropes, coming back onto One with a knee drop to the face. One raises his fist high to the crowd’s displeasement, and then goes out of the ring, grabbing his table.*
JBL: It’s obvious to me the crowd doesn’t like this Joe fella, no matter what he does.
*Joe slides the table into the ring, and then rolls in himself. Before Joe can set the table up, Ragnal grabs Joe by the arm and whips him into a corner. Ragnal charges at One, but Joe gets his boot into Mike’s face, with enough force to send him to the ground! Joe climbs the top rope, looking for a Phoenix Splash onto the fallen World Champion…Corral climbs onto the middle turnbuckle! Trying to keep Joe from leaping off, Corral throws a few punches into One’s face. One, after blocking a punch, headbutts Corral, forcing him to fall on his back! One, shaking the punches off, leaps off, going for the Phoenix Splash on Ragnal…Ragnal rolls out of the way! One lands on the canvas, and Mike quickly gets to his feet. While Joe’s on his hands and knees, Ragnal runs at Joe, delivering a DROPKICK TO THE RIBS!*
JBL: And THERE IT IS! A signature moment always brought to you by Mike Ragnal!
*The force of the kick sends One rolling out of the ring, grabbing his sides in pain while lying on his back. Ragnal, meanwhile, runs to the ropes, looking for a Lionsault to Corral…Corral gets his knees up! Ragnal rolls onto the ring, on his knees with his hands on his chest. Corral handstands to his feet, then dropkicks Ragnal in the back, knocking him to the floor. Corral, without even turning Ragnal onto his back, runs to the ropes, and hits with a Dragon’s Fury! Corral, finally having taken Ragnal down, goes to the outside and grabs his table, setting it up close to the ring.*
JR: Shouldn’t Corral bring the table into the ring?
JBL: Nah uh, Jim. I see who he’s going for.
*Corral walks over to Joe One, grabbing him by the head, then whipping him into the cornerpost. Corral takes One’s head, and slams it repeatedly into the post. Corral, his hand still holding onto Joe’s head, walks him over to his table, and slams it into the top. Corral rolls Joe on top of the table, then climbs onto the apron. Corral runs across the apron…And Ragnal clotheslines him! Corral falls onto the apron, then onto the floor. Ragnal climbs out of the ring, and keeping in mind One’s still on Corral’s table, Mike leaps off the second rope, hitting an ASAI MOONSAULT ONTO CORRAL! Ragnal gets on his feet, and heads for his table, bringing it closer to Corral, and setting it up.*
JBL: I tell ya, the crowd is wild for this match, Jim!
JR: What more do you expect? This is Crapamania, and right now, each of these men are living their dreams by competing in the main event!
*Ragnal picks Corral up by the head and slams it into the table, and then rolls him onto it. Ragnal then gets onto the apron, and climbs on top of the turnbuckle. Ragnal looks ready to leap off for the High Voltage…WAIT! Joe One sneaks up behind him! One grabs Ragnal’s leg, causing himself to get groined on the steel turnbuckle!*
JBL: That’s not pretty!
JR: Nobody said it ever would be, Bradshaw.
Ragnal falls to the canvas, where One picks him up and whips him into the ropes. One runs at Ragnal and hits the Airstep Kiss! One, looking at Ragnal as he lays on his back, stomps down on his face! One then grabs his own table, and sets it up in the corner. He picks Ragnal up, and goes to whip him into the table, but Ragnal reverses and sends One into the opposite corner. Ragnal runs at Joe, but Joe hits Ragnal with a big boot to the face. Ragnal falls back down, and Joe looks to end it. He picks Ragnal up again, whips him towards his table, and out of nowhere…CORRAL THROWS A CHAIR INTO RAGNAL, KNOCKING HIM TO THE CANVAS!*
JBL: Joe One, say goodbye to opportunity.
*Joe, pissed that he missed his opportunity, shouts at Corral, who climbs into the ring from the apron, and stands a few mere inches away from One, who is yelling at Corral for messing up his chance to win the match. Corral, emotionless, just shakes his head…AND HITS A SHINING ENZIGURI! Corral follows this up by climbing the ropes. He sees Ragnal get to his feet, and leaps off for THE V.2! The fans are going insane at the intensity of this match! Corral gets to his feet, and slides out of the ring, grabbing his table and bringing it with him.*
JR: And this crowd is hot for Corral tonight!
JBL What else did you expect? Corral’s the only good guy in this match.
*Corral, getting to his feet, stands the table up close to the ropes, and looks at both his downed opponents. Trying to decide just which one he’ll put through the table, he soon comes to a decision, and lifts Ragnal to his feet. Dragging Ragnal to the table, he goes to slam his head into it…Ragnal holds himself back. Corral tries again…Ragnal continues to counter. Before Corral can attempt a third try, Ragnal elbows his gut, and Corral let’s go. Mike slides behind Corral, and hoists him onto his shoulders. Looking down at Joe One, he walks over to him, spins Corral over his shoulders…RAGNALROK ONTO JOE ONE!*
JR: And there’s a Ragnalrok!
JBL: It’s a shame that he didn’t put him through a table. This match would’ve been over, and he’d still be World champion!
Ragnal heaves heavily as he looks at his fallen opponents, and decides to pick One up. He picks him up, and whips him into the ropes, and runs at him with a clothesline…One lifts him up and backdrops him to the floor! Without looking to the outside, One goes right to Corral, who’s trying to get to his feet. One grabs Corral’s head, bringing his knee high into it multiple times. One whips Corral into the ropes, and runs to attack…CORRAL LOCKS IN THE CHICAGO DRIVE-BY!*
JBL: And there’s one of Corral’s signature locks!
*Joe, trying to fight off the pain, moves around the ring, and then sees his table, still in the corner. Joe turns his back to it and attempts to back into the table. As he charges back, Corral lets go of the Drive-By, and rolls to the side, allowing Joe to back into his own table. The table doesn’t break, but Joe hits it hard enough to bounce off, allowing Corral to kick him in the midsection, doubling him over. Corral grabs Joe’s arms, and spins him around for the GOOD TIMES, GREAT MEMORIES! Corral raises his arms high, and the crowd reacts. Corral then goes to the ropes, seeing Ragnal get to his feet at last. Corral drops and rolls outside the ring, and strikes Ragnal in the back. Corral whips Ragnal into the barricade, and clothelines him against it. Ragnal stumbles away from the guardrails, grabbing his chest from Corral’s clothesline, and then Corral follows up with a BULLDOG TO THE GROUND!*
JR: Bah GAWD, there’s no way he could have lived after that!
*Corral gets to his feet and quickly gets onto the apron, ready to hit Ragnal with a high risk move…
…until JOE SNEAKS BEHIND WITH THE FIRST LIGHTNING! The move’s effective at first, until seconds later, Corral JUMPS OFF THE APRON! JOE’S UPPER BODY SPRINGS OFF THE ROPES! Corral, now back on the ground, goes back to Mike, once more getting up to his feet. Corral grabs Mike by the head to get him to his feet more quickly, but Ragnal shoves Corral’s arms away. Corral stunned, Ragnal takes advantage of the momentum by hitting the GOOD TIMES, GREAT MEMORIES ON CORRAL!*
JBL: Jim! Did you see that?!
JR: I saw it and I STILL don’t believe it, Bradshaw! Ragnal used Corral’s own finisher against him!
*The crowd stands and disses Ragnal for using his opponent’s finisher, but Mike simply flashes them the finger. Ragnal slides back into the ring, squatting down as Joe gets to his feet. With his back turned, Ragnal hoists Joe onto his shoulders. Before Mike can spin him over his head, Joe struggles off of the back, and hoists Ragnal onto his own shoulders. Joe’s able to spin Ragnal over his head…RAGNALROK! JOE ONE HAS HIT THE RAGNALROK!*
JBL: My god, there’s another finisher thief! He was still able to make it look good, though.
*While the markish crowd can be heard disapproving of Joe as a whole, the rather large smark audience can be heard clearly voicing how awesome this match is!*
*One, however, stumbles to the ground, possibly shaken up with the effort put into that move. One sits for a moment, taking delight in using his opponent’s finisher on him, and then stands up, glancing at BB in the executive box. While he’s distracted, Corral comes up from behind and LOCKS IN THE DRAGON SLEEPER ON JOE!*
JBL: I counted three finishers stolen, that should be enough there, right?
JR: Shhhh!
JBL: Oh, FINE…
*Joe can’t get enough effort into escaping, using most of his strength attempting the Ragnalrok. While Corral holds his arms tightly, Ragnal is on his feet, grabbing his head in pain, and sees his opponents. Without hesitation, he springboards on the second rope, leaps over, and DROPKICKS Joe One, sending him and Corral stumbling to the canvas. One is out of the First Lightning, and getting to his feet. Ragnal is up on his feet, and grabs One from behind for another Ragnalrok…Corral kicks Ragnal in the gut! Ragnal lets go of One, dropping him to the canvas, and Corral hoists Ragnal onto his shoulders, spinning him around for the WHIRLWIND! Corral stumbles to the canvas, while Ragnal rolls onto his side, looking at Corral with surprise, amazed he pulled off a move similar to his own finisher. While both men are down, One grabs Corral up and shoves his head between his legs, and then lifting him up for a powerbomb. One takes him over to his table…and Corral reverses with a Sunset Flip, then follows up with a DROPKICK! Corral then gets to his feet and positions the table so that it’s positioned to put Joe through. Meanwhile, Ragnal has gotten back into the ring, bringing his table with him. Setting it up next to Corral’s, Corral looks at Mike as if to ask what the hell he’s doing. Ragnal then explains he’s doing the same thing Corral’s doing, then calls him a “punk”. This prompts Corral to shove Ragnal. Ragnal shoves back. The two eventually start trading back and forth pushes that it almost distracts them from One, who’s charging at them. Corral and Ragnal kick Joe in the gut at the same time, then place their arms under Joe’s. Ragnal and Corral then bring him into the air…
*CRUNCH*
HIPTOSS THROUGH THE TABLES!
*DING! DING! DING!*
The match now over, and both Mikes raise their arms high in victory. They turn to each other, seeing that they’re both celebrating. Both men look on confused, until the ref explains he wants to see a replay.*
FINKEL: Ladies and gentlemen, the ref would like to see a replay of the finish to officially declare a winner.
*The video plays, and they watch Joe One being hip tossed into the tables. In slow motion, it’s shown that Joe’s foot went through Ragnal’s table first, while the rest of his body followed after.*
FINKEL: Ladies and gentlemen, after viewing the video, the ref has agreed, that yes, One’s foot went through Mike Ragnal’s table first. Therefore, your winner, and STILL EWT World Heavyweight Champion…”Elementalcidal” MIKE! RAGNAAAAAL!
*Mike smirks at Corral, who’s looking around asking “WTF?!” The ref hands Mike the World title, which he holds high as he leaves the ring. Walking up the ramp of booing audience members, Ragnal laughs at the misfortune, while One is seen unconscious, lying in the table’s rubble. Corral, meanwhile, is looking at the World Champion, simply mouthing “This isn’t over!” to Ragnal as the program comes to a close.*
© EWT 2007
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