The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Feb 17, 2008 1:28:48 GMT -5
EWT.COM Tells: What you need to know about Andy Duke and the Cast of Heroes.Later today, EWT will bring you what should be a great PPV; Common Ground. This PPV will bring you a variety of interesting matches. Some with crazy stipulations, some for titles. But one of the more talked about aspects of this event doesn't even have to do with a match, and that is the debut of the mysterious Cast of Heroes. Some have followed this story from the beginning. If you have, this article really isn't for you. This is for those who haven't paid too much attention to the Cast.
It began in December. After a match with Nigel McGuinness, Andy Duke was taken to the hospital with what looked like a concussion. He left with a whole lot more,though, as he was attacked while in the hospital.
Andy returned about a month later, around the same time that a a series of blogs began to be posted on the internet, and cryptic messages were left for Andy at the arena's EWT would run by a person or group known only as "The Cast of Heroes". Also around this time, Andy began to get involved romantic with a young woman known only as Sam.
The blogs and messages began to get more direct, even getting to the point of claiming responsibilty for the hospital attack in December.It all came to a head recently, as Sam was attacked by what looks to be The Cast. According to Andy Duke, this was the final straw, and Sam and he broke up.
Also, a group of masked men dressed in the Cast of Heroes "uniform" has been showing up at ringside during Andy Duke matches, distracting him in the process.
This cast promises to make an impact tonight. What will they do? Well, tune in and find out.
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Post by bollywood on Feb 17, 2008 6:50:47 GMT -5
Source: lolwrestlingMahavir Abha's Name to Remain the SameWhen news broke late last night that current Tri-State champion Mahavir Abha maybe undergoing a name change due to legal matters with the film production company that he had worked for before joining EWT; not even 24 hours later, it seems that the matter has been taken care of. We can confirm that the name will remain the same thanks to the negotiation skills of one Jasmyne, Mahavir's girlfriend. "She just... wow..." said a female board member of the production company regarding Jasmyne's tactics. "She knew what she was doing as soon as stepped foot into the room. I-Is there lipstick on my neck at all...?" A fun fact to add, is that Mahavir's full name is indeed Mahavir Ashvin Hemachandra Anirudhha Vijay Indraneel Ravikiran Abha. During his film career, his name was too long to fit into credits and marquees so they just shortened it to Mahavir Abha.
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Feb 18, 2008 17:22:21 GMT -5
Wrestlenewz.co.moon
-We have the most up to date news on Andy's condition after the attack by the Cast of Heroes. The injuries caused by the staples/tacks/barbed wire required approximately 20 stitches in and around his face. He also recieved a minor wrist sprain sometime during the match with Jupiter. He is only expected to miss next week, if any time at all.
-Speaking of the Cast of Heroes, they did indeed make their debut at Common Ground. For those who didn't watch the event, it was Jonathan Doe, Exner, and Alexa King. Jonathan Doe and Exner beat Andy with a variety of weapons(staple guns, barbed wire, thumb tacks). Alexa King seemed reluctant(Kayfabe reluctant) to be out there.
-Another Small tid-bit. On the updated EWT roster page, Jonathan Doe seems to have dropped the "Jonathan" from his name, and now just goes by Doe.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Feb 19, 2008 3:13:57 GMT -5
From weareawrestlingwebsiteandcouldnotthinkofaname.com:
--As seen at EWT's latest pay per view, Common Ground, psychoapeguy made a suprise in-ring return to the EWT scene. This had everybody wondering if he was, indeed, back in action since nobody has seen ape ever since his successful tag team with former co-owner, dorf. It would appear ape's comments prior to the Survival Cage were correct...ape had a pay per view Main Event slot left on his EWT Contract, so both parties agreed for ape's return at Common ground as a suprise entry. Unfortunatly, they did not plan on ape shattering his elbow during the match. Thankfully, EWT has shown the kindness spreads, as it is paying for all medical costs regarding this injury.
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Post by teamireland on Feb 20, 2008 18:14:03 GMT -5
Source: teh1337wretslen00z.net- Due to injuries suffered at EWT's Common Ground PPV, Team Ireland's Aidan Donnelly & Shane Malone have been advised to take at least a week off from actual in-ring competition.
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TJT
AC Slater
It's fun to be perfect.
Posts: 109
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Post by TJT on Feb 20, 2008 22:56:08 GMT -5
www.tjt-online.net/divergentgreatness/"Heeeeey, Jimmy Thunder in the house here. Yeah, you're probably wondering why am I smoking a cigar WHILE eating a steak? Because I'm so damn happy! That's why! Raft-Shack...no match for us. Our reign's been slow. Teams have issued little in the way of challenges. But we're into overdrive now!" "Jason Jupiter on-the-line. Frankly it's a glorious day. The gold around my shoulders, and the pale-dark-eyed Ghost Face indebted to us. He's alive. What a f***in' great guy. Love his style. His darkness. Name it. He's got what it takes to be among us. My cousin Jack? He needs some training unfortunately." "This is Terina. My boys have been led to victory ONCE again...but that cheap paint on the cage bars ruined my pursuit of the GND title! That's not fair! But at least my two boys are happy--and beautiful--as ever, and so am I! And so is Chance, that lovable guy! Not to mention, that Jasmyne's really nice. I can't wait to hang with her again!" "Now...Thunder....NO JUPITER...aw shut it guys...NO HANG ON! HOLD IT. Um. Yeah. If you want a shot at our tag titles, go ahead...we're waiting. We want some fresh competition. Whether that's you fallen winos, Team Ireland...awwww, no offense Jase. Or the angry Scott and...that one guy that NOOOOBODY cares about. Or maybe those "Guardinals," what a dumb name. Show it. Put up...shut up. We'll be showing all yas out there, that no matter what you do, no matter how hot YOU are, no matter how hot your win streak is, you're NEVER gonna be a match for T...J...T!" "And I'm the REEEEEEAL Jack Jupiter...hackin ur bl0gz."
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Feb 21, 2008 10:19:00 GMT -5
From weareawrestlingwebsiteandcouldnotthinkofaname.com:
--Rumor has it that EWT bookers are looking to create a brand new match that has never been done in Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation before for Crap-a-mania 5 involving the Girl Next Door Division. Only problem is that EWT hasn't even set a date for Crap-a-mania 5.
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Post by liontamer12 on Feb 21, 2008 16:54:37 GMT -5
-From pwi.com-
Amnestria, former LWF superstar, has decided to change her stage name to her real name "Veronica De Marco." She was billed with this name at an EWT developmental dark match last Monday.
She, however, has not been cleared to appear on any televised EWT programming.
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Feb 27, 2008 23:17:17 GMT -5
EWT. Com Exclusive:
Andy Duke: Rebel Rouser
As many of you saw, earlier tonight, in a match for the EWT Stables Championships, the Cast of Hereos shocked the wrestling world by defeating Minipax and capturing the titles. But the shocks didn't end there.
A heavily bandaged Andy Duke came out to ringside to congratulate the Cast of Heroes, but that wasn't the only thing on his mind. It was then that he introduced the two new members of the now newly reformed Cidal Squad; Syd Broderious and Patti McGrath, who were last seen as The River City Rebels during the Cidal Squad Tag Team Invite. The Rebels and Andy were able to gain the upper hand, and were able to gain some small token of revenge for the beating handed out to Duke at Common Ground.
When asked for a comment, Duke said "I met Syd and Patti during the Tag Invite, and I always felt that they got a raw deal thanks to my injuries and personal demons. I thought that the Rebels stood out as a potential great tag team. During my injury, I attended a few shows they were working, and saw them live in the ring, and they more than met my expectations. Some may think its a big risk, but I feel the reward will compensate, and then some".
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Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
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Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Mar 1, 2008 7:02:38 GMT -5
EWT.com Elusive
*Two figures lean into view as it returns from black. It's the Wrestle Posse, Jobby McJobberston and Axel Halaway. The 80s freak looks to still be injured, still wearing his cast, while Axel has a bandage on his head for some reason. They sit down into chairs.*
Jobby: Hello everyone on the....
Axel: ...Internet.
Jobby: Yes, that!
Axel: While I'm busy in WHOA-
Jobby: And I'm injured!
Axel: We were told to make some random videos online, since all the “cool” teams were doing it.
Jobby: I gave them the suggestion!
Axel: Why do you always do this?
Jobby: Because!
Axel: Alright... Well, the theme of these videos are to help us to become a better tag team for when we return.
Jobby: Right!
Axel: And if I remember correctly, Jay, you were supposed to get someone train us... Right?
Jobby: Yes! And I did! He came highly recommended from MCMG Inc by a Mr. Alexander Shelley.
Axel: ....Don't tell me.
Jobby: Said that he was a good “creator of the stars.”
Axel: ...Aww dammit...
Jobby: Doctor....
Axel: Here it comes.
Jobby: Kevin....
Axel: And now for the pain.
Jobby: Nash!
*From out of frame comes Dr Kevin Nash who looks absolutely happy to be helping yet another group on their way to stardom.*
Dr. Nash: Hello, you two. Now first-
Axel: I'm not going to impersonate AJ Styles and he's not going to be the Junkyard Dog.
*Nash crumbles up a piece of paper and tosses it away.*
Dr. Nash: In that case I'm going to have to have an assessment of you two. Just trust me, I made Ric Flair.
Jobby: AMAZING!
Axel: ...You weren't even around then!
Dr. Nash: *Ignoring Axel.* And we know how puts the “ass” assessor! So get ready. Because I'm going to make boys out of you men! *He turns to show his ass to the camera, his jeans cut to show it off.*
Axel: AWW! COME ON!
Jobby: You know, I'm getting a good feeling from this guy.
Axel: ...my god....I hate you....
*The screen fades out to white lettering.*
“Next time: The assessment!”
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Post by Cast of Heroes on Mar 2, 2008 19:48:27 GMT -5
Official Cast of Heroes' Blog
Andy Get Your Gun
Payback.
While I don't appreciate what happened after The Cast's title victory, I understand why it happened. It was necessary. You satisfied your primal urge. But starting now, there shall be no "getting even". Every attack shall be designed to kill. When you go down, you're not getting up.
As for the one you call your former love, while she may appear to still have a hot heart and cold feet, I can assure you her loyalty lies with The Cast.
And about the Rebels. Just more bodies to stack to the sky.
Cidal Squad, you're alone in the darkness, stuck in a nightmare, and your mothers are not here to wake you up.
Its a call to arms.
Get your gun.
Long live the Champs.
The streets shall be paved with gold, and run red with your blood.
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Post by maxx420 on Mar 4, 2008 18:31:38 GMT -5
www.teh1337wretslen00z.netRumors are circulating that Hugh Hefner is in negotiations with EWT to have a GND competitor appear in Playboy, possibly around the time of Crap-A-Mania V. Early indicators lean towards Jasmyne, Tiffany or Sensational Cherry. GND Champion Synthy Eris could not be reached for comment.
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Mar 10, 2008 9:45:08 GMT -5
www.ewt-europe.comERRATUM : In the recent interview he gave, Mysth mentioned that weapons would be used in his non-title match against Sigma. The match will actually be a normal match and will NOT be held under toolshed rules. Mysth will be sentenced for his mistake by not being paid this month. Mysth commented these news by saying "WHAAAAT ??"
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Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
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Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Mar 16, 2008 23:56:35 GMT -5
Credit: EWTPirates.com
After the Help_Us campaign, meant to be a parody of WWE's Save_Us, was met with mostly negative comments... It's official, EWT has come to terms with the release the tag team known as "The Wrestle Posse". Both Jobby McJobberston and "The Icon" Axel Halaway were genuinely shocked when they reportedly heard the news. Upon hearing the news, international star and Ox Division Champion BR Juri Sadamoto reportedly asked for her release and has received it.
Juri has stated that she hated to leave her best friend but if "jerk face" is no longer in EWT, then she has no purpose in it either. It is widely known she joined EWT just to get a chance to face Axel in a Deathmatch and with him no longer in the company, it seems like she holds her word. Sadamoto was deeply troubled about leaving Synthy behind, but she has stated as well that while they no longer work together they are still best friends. She is expected to drop her title within the week.
In other news, EWT has let Barty Teach's (aka Ferhago Crow) contract run out. They were in the process of contract negotiation when the video promo ran teasing a Maelstrom feud. He was outraged by the assumption that he was confirmed to sign before he gave his decision. Thus, he walked out on EWT without even looking back. He is currently looking at his options.
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Mar 18, 2008 20:22:46 GMT -5
Source:EWTinsidernews.comMORE SCANDAL ROCKS THE EWT LOCKER ROOM! Just days after a few members of the locker room have left the company, more bad news has been made public. It appears that former EWT World Tag Team Champion and current Cidal Squad captain "Insecticidal" Andy Duke and others have been released from the company. At first details were sketchy, but it appears now that it is wellness policy related. It seems as though an EWT official went to Duke's hotel room after he was late for an event. The official found the door slightly ajar, and inside, he found Syd Broderious, Patti McRath, Alexa King(who is once again dating Andy in real-life) and Andy under the influence of "small time recreational narcotics"(what is speculated as being marijuana and alcohol). All four have been released because of this. Andy Duke because this isn't his violation. The Rebels were not under full-time contracts, so they were techinically not released, but all negotiations have been ceased. Alexa(and all 4 for that matter) were fired due to a gross breaking of kayfabe(The Heroes and Squad are in a major blood feud right now). Also, all four ended up missing an event due to a drug related problem, which is a major violation of the policy and grounds for immediate termination. But it doesn't end there. Jonathan Doe, upon hearing the news, asked for his release. Due to one of his stable mates and the whole stable he was feuding with being fired, he was granted his release. He was said to be upset, since Alexa and Andy were his best friends, and the feud was the whole reason He, Alexa, and Exner came back to EWT. Speaking of Exner, no one appears to know where he is. Many have tried to call him, go to his house, but no sign of him. He has no-showed for almost a week now, which has caused him to also be released. A police investigation is underway to find him safely.
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Post by Hensley on Mar 19, 2008 10:45:07 GMT -5
EWT.com
EWT has come to terms with the release of Jacob Leonard. We wish him the best in all future endeavors.
- As seen above, EWT officially announced earlier this morning that "Hotter Than Hell" Jacob Leonard would no longer be making appearances. He was working on a pay per appearance-type deal, and with the recent walkout of so many EWT stars, money could become a HUGE factor in the near future. Therefore, the company will no longer be flying Leonard in for events. Of course, if a written deal ever comes to fruition, Leonard could just find himself back in the EWT Arena. As for where Hardcore Hensley goes from here, expect his character to return to it's original design. There likely will not be any explanation as to Leonard's absence.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Mar 19, 2008 21:03:01 GMT -5
Due to the recent turn of events, Toom E Dangerously has released the following statement to EWT-Online:
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Post by Hensley on Mar 24, 2008 21:29:30 GMT -5
- Hardcore Hensley: Year One has been officially announced for a Summer 2008 release, likely either late July, or sometime in August. It is currently in preproduction.
EWT.com
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Mar 28, 2008 13:41:18 GMT -5
www.ewt-europe.comMYSTH WILL STAY IN THE EXTREME WRESTLECRAP FEDERATION. It was first announced that Mysth was part of the many wrestlers whose contracts had been terminated recently for various reasons. While Mysth was indeed supposed to leave the EWT once the storyline he is currently involved in would end, it has now be made official that Mysth and the EWT administration have managed to come to an agreement. Mysth will therefore stay with the EWT for an undisclosed amount of time. On the other hand, "Sexually Suggestive" Ivy Rosepine will remain out of action for a little longer. She promised that she will eventually come back, but she is currently involved in other business.
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Post by Hensley on Mar 31, 2008 12:22:46 GMT -5
- The Hardcore Hensley: Year One DVD, that was officially announced last week, has actually been getting thrown around since February. Hensley, himself, was contacted by his former trainers at the Dog Pound in Raleigh, North Carolina around then. Being their most prized product, they pitched him an idea of a documentary that would detail his training and career, along with his "growing up". Hensley found their offer very nice, and almost immediately accepted. While the producers searched for a distribution company though, would be when EWT joined in. Apparently, the current plan is to do a two disc piece, with the first covering Hensley's experiences of growing up in Richmond, Virginia, all the way to his training at the Dog Pound. The second shall then pick up on his rookie year within EWT. It should also include certain matches and promos, likely of his own choosing. Due to the expected release of date of either late July or sometime in August, it is possible that the second disc may only follow him up to June, maybe even May. Hensley debuted on July 13, 2007. Nevertheless, expect more clearer updates on this project as we get them.
EWT.com
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