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Post by Toom E. Guci on Apr 19, 2007 0:14:26 GMT -5
Here it is. The Crap-a-mania !!!! Talk Show Hype Thread. After this initial post with Talk Show schedules, the only posts allowed in here are the Talk Show appearances for the coming weeks. Have fun & enjoy.Stephen Colbert w/Mike Ragnal
TRL Joe One
The Daily Show Mike Corral
Wake Up, San Francisco Koda Kazar
Howard Stern ape love & dorf
Don Imus Adam Corrola BR Juri Sadamoto
The View The Draugr
Love Line Oceanic
Hogan Knows Best Virus
Space Ghost Coast to Coast The Nyrds
Deal Or No Deal Big & Bad Curly Long
Live w/Regis & Kelly Christopher Indigo Redface Rodgers Singapore Caine
Superstar Week on Family Fued Cidal Squad
The Tonight Show w/Jay Leno Crauswell
David Letterman Cassinova
Conan O'Brien Mysth & Ivy
Guest South Park voice Chad Micheals
Guest Simpsons voice Joe Ragnal
Sesame Street Team Raftshack
The Cutting Edge Simon Scurvy & Polly
Price Is Right contestant by luck Ultimo Chocula
Last Call w/Carson Daly Team Ireland
The Wiggles heidendorf
Maury Povich Ratings Spaz
Jerry Springer Marcus Trunk Rick Raskall
Tyra Banks Synthy Eris
AOL Chat w/fans BK3K
Yahoo Chat w/fans Rated X
Dr. Phil TJT
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Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
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Post by Ass Dan on Apr 19, 2007 17:24:34 GMT -5
Hilary Duff's 'With Love' comes to a close as the camera does a shaky thing to go to La La Vasquez as the sound of 30 odd teens scream.
Vasquez: THAT was our Number 3 video, Hilary Duff's 'With Love'. Now, we have a special guest guest here to talk with us about the world of pro wrestling, ladies and gentlemen JOE ONE!
Rage Against the Machine's 'Testify' is played instead of One's usual theme as the crowd screams at the fish-out-of-water Joe. He looks like he wants to be anywhere but there.
Vasquez: How are you doing, Joe?
One: Fine, I suppose.
Vasquez: Well, in a few weeks, you will be competing at EWT Crap-A-Mania IV in the main event. How do you feel about this?
One: Same as I always feel, Ms. Vasquez.
(beat)
Vasquez: And that is?
One: Unsurprised. I knew that I'd get a shot at IV the day I signed with the Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation. I haven't sulleyed my record, so I supposed that I would get the titleshot.
Vasquez: Tell me, when did you first get into wrestling?
One: A long time ago. I watched the greats of Oceania, including Haystacks Calhoun, Randall Savage, and Terrence Funk. I started training with BB at age 17, and went professional at age 20. In NEUKPWCTDE, I was a two-time Heavyweight Champion and one-time Tag-Team Champion. Apparently, Mr. Dangerously liked my wrestling ability, so he signed me to a one-year contract. After two months, though, I signed a contract extension until August of 2010.
Vasquez: Do you have anything to say to your fans?
Joe One looks directly at the camera.
One: Groupthinkful dayorders are upsub to BB's YP. Ownlife is upsub to BB's YP. Gloryvic for Ingsoc.
Vasquez: (not missing a beat) Great! Would you like to announce our next video?
One: I suppose it's free of problem. Our Number 2 video on the countdown....oh, you can't be serious, can you? Those untalented pricks? That's it, I'm leaving.
Joe One walks offstage.
Vasquez: Here is our Number 2 video on the countdown, Fall Out Boy's 'Thnks Fr Th Mmrs'!
The teens go crazy as the video begins.
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Spyke the Pacers Fan
El Dandy
Still hates himself for missing the last episode of Murder She Wrote
Go Indiana!
Posts: 8,061
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Post by Spyke the Pacers Fan on Apr 21, 2007 3:44:25 GMT -5
*The shot is of a dark room in a basement with a single light, a chair, and an old desk. Spyke steps in front of the camera to adjust it.*
Spyke: "OK, that will do it. Ahem, OK, since I am not booked for Crap-A-Mania IV, I am not booked for any talkshow appearances, so without further ado..."
*Spyke holds up a wrinkle piece of paper that says "EWT.com presents: Spyke in teh House, starring Spyke Johannson. Featured guest, Spyke Johannson." Spyke drops the paper and sits at the desk.*
Spyke: "My guest tonight is a current, unbooked for Crap-A-Mania IV, EWT Superstar, and a former EWT Toolshed Champion, please welcome, SPYKE JOHANNSON!"
*Spyke presses a button on a not-so-concealed boombox. "Tier" by Rammstein starts and Spyke quickly runs behind a black curtain, only to emerge seconds later like he normally does before matches. Spyke sits in the guests' chair.*
Spyke: "Thanks, Spyke, good to be here."
*Spyke quickly runs behind and sits at the desk*
Spyke: "Nice having you here. Now, how does it feel not being booked for CAM4?
*Spyke hops onto the guests' chair.*
Spyke: "I don't really care, whatever."
*Spyke sits at the desk*
Spyke: "But it's one of the biggest events of the year!"
*Spyke almost trips getting back to the guests' chair*
Spyke: "Like I said, I don't care! Let them have their fun. I'm still gonna be there, just not competing."
*Spyke lunges accross the desk and falls to the floor, but quickly recovering and sitting at the desk chair.*
Spyke: "What?"
*Spyke runs around the desk to the guest chair, but trips on the camera cord, and falls to the ground, creating a shock that knocks the camera over. The video cuts out, but the audio remains.*
Spyke: "DAMMIT!"
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Sajoa Moe
Patti Mayonnaise
Did you get that thing I sent ya?
A man without gimmick.
Posts: 39,683
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Post by Sajoa Moe on Apr 21, 2007 10:50:40 GMT -5
Jerry Springer is standing in the crowd, his fans applauding and chanting "JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY!"Springer: Aaaand we are back. On today's show, we have been trying to reconcile the differences between former friends. Earlier today you saw "Terry" and "Lanny" finally come to terms with each other, and it looks like that friendship is back on track. Also we tried to patch things up between "James" and "Vincent", but it appears that "James" was unwilling to reconcile, and claimed that "Vincent" still owes him money. As a matter of fact, he demanded to be paid extra for appearing on this program, and is now threatening to sue. But let's move on. Today we have a wrestling star from the EWT wrestling show, please give it up for "Marcus"! Marcus Trunk appears on stage, wearing a black muscle shirt and blue jeans, as cheers and chants of "TRUNK! TRUNK! TRUNK!" echo throughout the studio. He does his signature spreading of the arms and roaring, and then takes a seat.Springer: Now Marcus, tell the audience why you're here. Trunk: Well, I suppose I'm here to tell all these good people to never trust a man like Rick Raskall. He's got great wrestling talent, but it's outweighed by his massive ego. Yeah, he's got money, power, famous celebrity friends, an entourage. But people like that can just dump you in an instant when they feel they don't need you. And unfortunately, I got sucked into that lifestyle. I was brought up on the streets, and had to fight for myself for what I have today. But if Rick Raskall is watching this right now, I'm tellin' you I ain't no damn sellout! Springer: Marcus, when Rick turned his back on you and subsequently attacked you, how did that make you feel? Trunk: To be honest, Jerry, I felt like a damn fool. I should have known this was coming, that Raskall would find some way of pinning all of our downfalls on me, because he thinks he's so damn perfect. But no, I was busy living the high life and didn't even think about it. Springer: But did it make you feel angry? The audience leans forward in anticipation.Trunk: You're damn right I'm angry! The audience roars with applause.Springer: And if Rick were here right now, what would you do? Trunk: I don't know what I'd do, since I'm never able to get my hands on him. He's always got his little band of trolls following him around. Springer: Well, you'll have the chance to tell him how you feel right now, because we have Rick live via satellite on our hotline! Rick Raskall's face appears on the screen, wearing his sunglasses and holding a chalice of wine. The crowd boos, as they were anticipating a fight.Trunk: RASKALL, YOU [beep]IN' COWARD! COME OUT AND FIGHT ME!! Raskall: Come on, Trunk. Get it through your thick skull. Do you think I'd be caught dead stepping foot on the Jerry friggin' Springer show? Tell me Trunk, does the place smell like tobacco spit and armpit hair as I've always imagined? Trunk: WHERE ARE YOU? Raskall: Where I am is none of your business. You should be more concerned about your own well-being. As a matter of fact, I've sent a few friends down to the studio to check up on you. You might be familiar with them already. Ah, Jerry, do me a favor and send them out already. I'm beginning to smell the stench of that place through the TV screen. Springer: Well, Raskall did send some people out to meet you, so here they are. Trunk stands up to meet the "friends" that Raskall sent over. On cue, the Plebes charge out of the back area, but Trunk is ready for them. He grabs one by the shoulders and flings him across the stage, as chants of "JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY!" erupt through the studio. Security immediately floods the stage as Trunk is taking wild swings at the Plebes and trying to fight through the guards. The guards manage to finally push the Plebes off the stage, as Trunk is also forced out of the studio. The Springer logo appears in the corner, cueing a commercial break.***************************************************************************** Gecko: Well, roight, if you use Geico, it's loike, you're trying to get a quote, and um, it's loike playin' cricket, because you're tryin' to whack the leather before wicket, just loike gettin' a Geico quote, you want to, ah, get the best quote before it gets by you and hits the wicket. See, I loike tolking 'bout cricket, 'cause I'm British, y'see, and um, American people, when they hear a British accent, they're loike, "Oy, lookit the British accent. Cor, that's amusing. He tolkin' all funny-loike". Honestly, it's not really about Geico at all, innit? It's, well, just all about the funny commercials. GEICO: Fifteen minutes can save you 15% or more on car insurance. ****************************************************************************** Springer: Ladies and gentlemen, during the commercial break, we in the studio saw a heinous assault on Marcus Trunk backstage. Let's take a look. Trunk is walking back to his waiting room, when suddenly, a hand holding a bottle appears behind him, and smashes the bottle over Trunk's head! Trunk drops to the floor, the back of his head now bleeding. The culprit appears from around the corner, and it's none other than Rick Raskall!
Raskall: Oh, Trunk. You are just too EASY!JERRY'S FINAL THOUGHT Springer: Now time for my final thought. Friends can become enemies, enemies can become friends. Some have reconcilable differences, some issues have to be sorted out over a period of time. And if all else fails, sometimes it's best to have a knockdown drag-out brawl inside a 15-foot-high steel cage. Take care of yourselves, and each other.
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Bedlam LadyD
Samurai Cop
Is a WSX Cupcake. BOOOOOOOM!!
Posts: 2,452
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Post by Bedlam LadyD on Apr 21, 2007 14:21:38 GMT -5
'Just for Today' by India Arie starts up. The blank screen shows pure white until a gold circle with Tyra written in fancy script shows up in the center. Here enters the tabloid's favorite 'Fat Supermodel'. Tyra enters wearing designer casual. A non-trashy, leopard-print, v-neck tank top, and white jeans that ironically, accentuate her 'booty'.
"Hey all! This is Tyra Banks, and today, we've got a very interesting show for you! For once, I'm not going to talk about how fat I am not, although there's nothing wrong with that, but I'm not, but it'd be totally alright if I were later on, but I really am not fat, so on with today's sepcial 'Live' show! Today's special guest is...um..Synthy Eris! (Eh? Hope I pronounced it right..)Today's expand-your-horizons segment is all about female empowerment! This is one diva who gets it done. especially since she tangles with other strong women on a nightly basis! Please give a warm welcome to female wrestler, Synthy!"
Her music starts, making everyone in the audience jump. They aren't exactly acquainted with that type of music. In fact, many look disturbed out of their minds as 'Watch you lose....Controooool!" Is snarled over the sound system. Synthy steps out, her sunglasses down. In stark contast to the celebrinormalcy of Tyra's outfit, she's wearing red flare Tripp pants, black leather chains loop around her waist, and an easy-fitting, black t-shirt with red mesh layering over the front. Her fuschia hair is flared upwards and outwards, and instantly draws all eyes. Her lipgloss matches her pants, yet again contrasting to the 'all-naturale' look of Tyra. She gives a half-wave to the camera, no emotion except a small smirk playing upon her lips.
"Welcome to the show Miss Eris! Have a seat!" Tyra's left arm shoots out and places itself around Synthy's shoulders, directing her toward one of the beige and white chairs located in the center of the clean, monochromatic set. Synthy looks slightly uncomfortable.
"So, Miss Eris, we understand that you have a big Pay-Per-View coming up. What are your plans for it?" Tyra has a blankly happy look on her face, and it's fairly obvious she doesn't really know what she's doing with this. Wrestling is not her specialty, and Synthy looks vaguely irritated.
"Actually, I have a match against the toughest female opponent in the EWT. Her name is Juri Sadamoto, a true brokenhearted badass. I can't wait for it." Synthy grins at the match floating in her brain.
Tyra does an unsure grin in response and immediately goes back to something she knows about, "So do you have any special people who're gonna watch the match?"
Synthy raises an eyebrow above her sunglasses' level. "My siblings will be watching from home...other then that..."
Tyra shrugs. "I'm sure there's someone special ya wanna give a shout-out to!"
Synthy pulls out a toothpick from her pocket and sticks it between her teeth. "Not particularly. Really, I'm just here to shamelessly self-promote the match and show." She says those words in an emphasized way, but Tyra misses it completely.
Tyra does a 'daytime tv host' laugh. The typical one where they aren't sure if they should laugh, but it'd be awkard silence time if they did not. "So, Miss Eris, what were you doing before you got interested in professional wrestling?" Tyra has the blank smile again.
"Essentially I floating around with not much direction. I was working at TGISaturday's, school, and helping out my family. I found life to be dull and uninteresting until the spark of wrestling hit me." She's genuine, if a little bored sounding.
"You seem pretty intelligent. Why would Pro Wrestling be a good direction for you?" Tyra finally seems to be on a course that she can handle.
"Intelligence has nothing to do with it. It's simply one of those things that it either calls to you or doesn't. You'd be one of those people surprised by the fact at how many genius-level people we have working in our, or any other wrestling federations. Of course, there are some nitwits mixed in there, but the generalization of the stupidity of the sport is beyond reasonable. We aren't exactly redneck hillbillies in speedos. Not all of us anyway." She grins faintly at her own last remark.
"Course not. Now, it seems in the ,um, EWT that you're a part of, you tend to have a bit of a devious side. Who are these women that you keep trashing?" Tyra waves her hand a a clip of Synthy's past exploits scroll across the screen.
Phibian getting thrown down the ramp in a trash can with Synthy laughing in the background, Pisa getting thrown into the Pepsi machine, Nun getting hit by both Synthy and Terina, shot to Flora getting choke bombed through a table, and then the finisher with Ashley getting DDT'ed through a table..
Synthy peers at Tyra from over her sunglasses, sending shivers down the former model's spine. "Those women were nothing more then talentless Harlots who got what they deserved. They were the women who would sell their souls fo a modeling contract, and simply wanted to be in EWT for the damn media exposure. They don't care about what the real women wrestlers, they don't care that with each day while they invest wrestling companies, another girl's dream goes down in flames, as that is one loss slot for her. They don't care whose hearts they break, as long as they benefit from it. In short, those women are tireless money-hounds who live for their pictures plastered across every place imaginable, and they sicken me."
"It sounds like you've got some pent-up emotion regarding the so-called 'beautiful people'. Care to tell me why?"
"I just did really."
Tyra's lips turn into a line. She's debating wether or not she was just made into sounding like an idiot. Thankfully it cuts to a commercial before she responds.
........................
"You try these new Berries and Cream Starburst?" Two average-looking guys are sitting outside of a convenience store. The mop-headed one is the one that spoke.
"Pardon me....What kind of Starburst did you just say?" A very...flamboyant looking man appears. He's wearing what can onyl be described as a green Keibler-Elf type ensemble.
"Berries-" "Berries? And what else?" "..And cream-" "AH! Oh..ooo!" The medieval keibler-elf pageboy proceeds to make a few 'interesting' noises, and grins in a disturbing manner. Out of nowhere, he claps a beat singing, "Berries and Cream, berries and cream, I'm a little lad who loves berries and cream!" His hands flare over the place as he ends. The normal guys give him a strange look.
The creepy lad gets excited and exuberant. "BERRIES AND CREAM, BERRIES AND CREAM, I'M A LITTLE-oof!"
Before he finishes with his jig, the mop-headed man from earlier tackles him to the ground. "This is the guy that escaped from the asylum yesterday!"
Red water runs down the screen, a Starburst pack appears, with the phrase. "Starburst, even the insane love the juicy goodness!" .................
Cut back from commercial.
Synthy looks to be taking much pride from the confused look on Banks' face. "So, Synthy, you never told us who else would be watching your match, rooting you on, besides your family. I'm sure such a lovely woman as you has someone tied to her romantically."
Synthy let's out a mild groan of frustration. "I already stated I didn't. I can't believe why peple seem to be so hardcore, bent-up with figuring out my personal life. I don't have a boyfriend, but there are so many damn rumors going around in the lockeroom as to whom I'm dating, I'm sick of it. Stick it, people. I'm a freebird who isn't tied down to anyone." She crosses her arms and shakes her head.
"Don't bite my head off, Miss Eris. I was just thinking our audience would have liked to know." She sounds exasperated and annoyed.
"I'm sure they wouldn't. I gauran-damn-tee that the majority of those who watch your show have no idea who I am, nor why they're being made to sit here watching some chick ramble on about pro wrestling. I mean, 'it's fake isn't it'?" Synthy adjust her sunglasses, and is rolling her toothpick about her teeth. She grabs a Pepsi out of her pocket and takes a drink.
"..............Well it is......And this is my show, you were featured for the female empowerment segment, some producer suggested you'd be a good fit. But as far as I can tell, you're a mean-spirited woman who simply hates pretty people." Tyra's voice takes a nasty turn. Her face is in a scowl, as she's realized she looks like a moron compared to the well-spoken, freaky female beside her.
To the EWT fans who've turned in out of curiosity, that all-too familiar laughter coming from Synthy makes them simultaneously shiver and smile. If Tyra doesn't watch herself....
"Really? I'm not a hater by any means, unless it comes to brain-dead bimbos who simply expose themselves on shows to get their names out there, and to stay in the spotlight. Arrogance and ego are disgusting if you ask me. Confidence and pride are alright as long as they don't amount to the levels just mentioned." Synthy laughs again, but it isn't playful.
"I am not a bimbo. I didn't do that stripper segment when everyone wanted me to!"
"Which implies the arrogance and brain-dead part ten-fold for you. I have no problem with strippers actually. It's just the ones that invade my business." She means the last word in both meanings. "Your ego is suffocating though. Not everyone wanted you to do it. Right now, I'm seriously wishing I'd rather be interviewed by Candy Girl then deal with yet another contestant from the Harlot Hunt."
"What? I wasn't in that...."
"Did my implication fly over your air-headed body?"
"You cold-heared bitch. How dare you come on to my show and mock me! You're nothing but a wrestler!"
"And Damned proud of it, Miss Priss. Being a wrestler means I have more talent in my arm then it takes for you to strut your egotistical, high-maintenace ass on a swimsuit cover."
The audience is visibly shocked. The camera man realizes he should pan away, but is way too intrigued. The producer who suggested Synthy in the first place is in the back, happy, because Tyra's just desserts are finally being served. The woman acted like a high-strung lunatic when things didn't go her way, and tended to take it out on her show's crew members. Watching Synthy verbally bombast the egomaniac was great fun for the whole crew. Then everyone's faces turned to shock.
Tyra slapped Synthy. The crimson handprint on the fuschia-haired woman's face was brightly apparent. "You're nothing but a jealous witch."
Synthy calmly, places her sunglasses on her head. Violence reigns supreme in her violet eyes. She grins in a feral way. "The cameras may want to turn off now..." She spears Tyra to the floor. The cameras had kept their focuse until this moment, as news had spread that ratings have spiked since the interview took the turn for the worst. But now as the violence level was rising, the producers were afraid of it getting bloody. They'd all be banned from television producing if it got that violent during this early of an hour in the day. Tyra's screams of 'Crazy BITCH!" are heard as the images change to a screenshot of Lily-Rose standing with a microphone, the phrase "Lily-Rose to perform at Crap-A-Mania!" in blue text next to it.
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Post by xombiehiphop on Apr 24, 2007 17:09:16 GMT -5
Where is the absolute last place you would guess to find the four members of The Draugr? If you guessed the set of The View..you guessed correctly. Whoever set up this arrangement is sick..
Sitting at one side of the table are the hostesses of the program. Rosie 'O Donnell, Barbara Walters, Joy Behar and Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Along with the middle aged house wives that are in the crowd, and watching at home, they are a bit disturbed by their current guests. The four ghouls who obviously contrast greatly with their bright surroundings.
Ghost Face who's wearing a black hoodie, hood pulled tightly over his head with a few blond colored dreadlocks spilling out. Black grease paint smeared around his eyes. His arms folded across his stomach.
Corpse who is staring blankly towards the camera, eyes pulled wide open as if he were in some kind of trance.
..Karma who is sitting on the floor, Indian style. Rocking back and forth in front of a pillow that she had set ablaze a few moments ago.
And, finally, Wraith, who's glaring at the hostess much like a wolf who's about to pounce upon a rabbit. A trickle of red liquid dripping down from his mouth and onto the trench coat he's wearing.
Barbara: Hewwo. I'm Bobwah Waltah's. Wha wah wha bwa The Draugr. Wha bah bah wah EWT. Wah wah bah bah waaah Crapamania!
Ghost Face: ...Are you speaking English?
Corpse suddenly rises up to his feet hands held much like a preacher in front of a mass
Corpse: And 'lo they venture into the valley of murder and death. Surrounded by the shadows of fear and tyranny. The red glowing eyes and the fangs! The brain matter will trickle forth, leaving only a fragment of humanity..
He slumps back into his face, covering his hands over his face. His body twitching a bit..
Elizabeth: ..U-Uh..well..let's..
Ghost Face reaches a hand over, running a few of his fingers through Elizabeth's hair. Promptly smelling his palm where his digits once graced her blonde tresses
Rosie: GRAAHH! It's time for ROSIE!
The heavyweight rises to her feet, knocking over The View members table in the process
Rosie: I gotta few questions! Why do you dress like that?! It's gonna scare da kids! It's gonna influence 'em! All'a this talk about blood and gore is gonna corrupt 'em!
Ghost Face: We represent..what everyone's afraid of. We do and say..what we want.
Wraith: Hate. Violence. Suicide. Death. Drug use.
Joy: ..What about lemon squares?
Wraith: ...Yeah..gimme some of those...lemon squares
Wraith snatches the lemon squares from Joy with a deep growl. Taking a handful before stuffing them into his mouth
Elizabeth: ..So..you guys like..horror movies? Like House Of Wax? Or Dracula 2000?
Ghost Face: ..No. More like Zombie..The Poltergeist..Phantasm..Maniac..Dead & Buried..
Karma: ...Sssss...
Joy: Oh, honey, I love your hair and your outfit! Where did you get such a unique fashion sense?
Karma's eyes darken upon Joy, making a noise closely resembling some kind of rabid cat. Suddenly leaping forward and pouncing onto her. Screaming heard off camera as Karma assaults her, none of her View colleagues as she's the unimportant one
Barbara: Wah wha bah wah OUTRAGE! Bah wah wha wha HORROR MOVIES!
Ghost Face: ...Do you want to know what's the real outrage?
Ghost Face, Corpse, and Wraith all suddenly rise to their feet, knocking their table over in the process
Ghost Face: That we've been forced to come onto this television show and cater to all you cheap dopplegangers. ..Do you want to know about horror movies?
Wraith: ...We'll show you!
As The Draugr advance forward the scene cuts to a "Now Experiencing Technical Difficulties" screen. But the sounds of destruction and panicked screams soon accompany it...
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Apr 24, 2007 19:52:19 GMT -5
Taken from the EWT ONLINE section, where fans talked with Rated X!! YAY!!!
RatedXXXTreme: 5 people online in 25 seconds? Gee, what a great turn-out. *Sigh* Let's get this party started.
screwtaperip: What exactly is the Stairway to Hell match?
bigshowstillrulz: Are you nervous about facing TJT?
heartbreakcena: Chad, how do you feel competying in two dangerous matches?
warriorthug4cena: CENA CAN BEAT EVERYONE!!! THE CHAMP IS HERE!!!
RatedXXXtreme: (Chad) Please, someone get rid of the last person. Anyway, onto the Q and A's.
Screwtape- (Marcus) The Stariway to Hell match is basically the Steel Cage Ladder Match from Kingdom of Hurt, Chad's invention. A steel cage surrounds the ring with ladders on the outside. All you got to do is escape the cage, get the ladder into the ring, and climb to the top and retrieve the item. We don't know what the item is yet, but we'll get back to you guys on that.
BS Still Rulz- (Chad) Not too much. True, they've had some impressive matches, and yes, they could possibly become tag team champions if hey really wanted to. But you can't really count us out. I've been here for almost two years, and Marcus has been in some amazing hardcore matches since he came here 7 months ago. Besides, I invented this match, and I know that match inside and out. TJT, if you're reading this, just remember that fact.
HBCena- (Chad) To be honest, I am actually a little afraid of competing in two matches. The Stairway to Hell match is going to be pure torture, both on the mind and body, and the FUN House match is not exactly a walk in the park. I saw the 60 minute Iron Man match, and it wasn't pretty. But I need to do this. I made the commitment to Marcus before I challenged Joe, and I'm a man of my word.
WT4C: (Marcus) Dear God, go get some help. Really.
Guys, I know this interview was short, but Chad has to prepare for both his matches, and he's taking me along. Again, sorry to the fans, but we gotta go.
End Segment/ Whatever.
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Post by raftshack on May 5, 2007 3:18:22 GMT -5
Voice: Today's episode is brought to you by the letter 'e and the number 5086
We fade in from the traditional Sesame Street theme, as we see Big Bid just standing there
Big Bird: Hi! Today is gonna be a very special day, because there's going to be two very special visitors here in Sesame Street today.We're gonna have a wonderful day today.
The camera pans to the side, showing a familiar pink haired young man with quite a bit of difficulty. pedaling down the street on a child's three wheeler, going about as fast as you'd expect.Bringing up the rear behind, another white haired young man is riding down a hill in a shopping kart of all things, quickly picking up speed and careening out of control, as the man inside crashes right through a random wall, luckily one belonging to a completely vacant home. The two men stop and hop out, continuing to both hop over to the big honking bird standing and watching.
Big Bird: Here they come now! It's Doctor... Infamy and Professor... Antidisestablishmentarianism?
The camera cuts to the right, showing (Professor) Zeleke wearing a monocle, a toga, and leather cowboy boots, while (Doctor) Faboon is sporting a black leather jacket, red parachute pants, and white socks on his feet. The two cackle amongst themselves, as they keep hopping, then stopping in front of Big Bird.
Dr. Infamy: HELLO YOU MAGNIFICENT FEATHERED FIEND!!!
Professor Antidisestablishmentarianism: Now now... the avian cannot help that he hinders.
Dr. I: Wha?
Prof A: Zuh!
Big Bird: *ignoring* I sure am glad to see you both. I can't wait for you all to meet the kids.
Prof A: These childses... are they corrupt ones?
Dr I: Oh yes... we cannot have to the impure beings running all over da joint!
Big Bird: Umm... I don't think they are impure.
Dr I: Perhaps we shall have to perform some horrid experimentation to discover their factor of tickering and how upon they do this deed
Prof: Remember medicator... those blaggarts at the jail land, they warned you not to perform any operatations... WILL YOU DARE TO SLAP THEM IN THE NOGGIN?!
Dr I: Those... biggle baggles are quite aggravating. We will one day rule over them and make the fools run laps around their shattered faces.
Big Bird: ... Ok then. Really though, we should go see the children first.
Dr. I: I will not be led by the snout by a giant avian!!!
Prof: I shall... but only if you ask nicely.
Big Bird: Please?
Prof: TOO NICELY!!! How dare you try to poison with your sickening sweet wordings... I will make you pay! PAY LOTS AND LOTS!!!
The bird looks over off to the side, before turning back.
Big Bird: Umm... yeah, let's go meet the kids.
Prof: NEVER!!!
The bird looks at the two, walking over and dragging them off by the ears, as the Doctor squirms in agony... while the Professor giggles in joy. Eventually, they come over to a park of some kind, where a bunch of random kids are just standing there, seemingly waiting over here for absolutely no reason. Soon enough, they all start cheering as they see Big Bird approaching.
Kids: YAY!!!!
Big Bird: Hey kids... I'd like you to meet some friends of mine... Professor Infamy and Doctor Antidisestablishmentarianism!
The giant bird lets go of the two, who gaze quite curiously at these kids... who just kinda stare at the oddly dressed fellows.
Random Kid: Did you guys get dressed in the dark?
Doc: Finally... somebody notices.
Prof: That explains your frequent trips to the closet... or does it?
Doc: Oh most certainfully does it my chum.
Prof: STOP COATING YOUR WORDS WITH LIES!!!
Doc: My words are covered in pure truthfility... and you shall soon experience it yourself, insolent hog!
Prof: Bagel face!
Doc: Emperor of Onomatopoeias!
Prof: Giant Guitar!!
Doc: Bread Loafer!
Prof: Jumbled Name!
Doc: INSULT!!!
Other Random Kid: Umm... Big Bird, are they... okay?
The two suddenly turn around, as they glare in anger.
Both: SHOVE A STRAW UP YOUR EYEBALL!!!
Prof: Perhaps then... you will be able to suckle upon the true wisdom we contain.
Doc: And if not... we shall regurgitate it all over your lap. Perhaps that will spell what spells what... SPELLS!
Big Bird just stares... running over, and quickly shoving the two off screen, as he turns back towards the kids.
Big Bird: C'mon kids... let's go to a thrift store!
Kids: Yay!!!
The kids and giant yellow bird all walk away quickly... as suddenly, Zeleke starts stripping down, running up to the screen and sticking his face right in the camera.
Zeleke: EWT CRAPMANIA!!!! MATCHS GALORE... YOU SHALL EXPLORE... THEY WILL BE MOST HARDCORE... THIS IS WHAT THEY ARE FOR... NOW SHUT YOUR DOOR!!!
Faboon runs over and pulls him off the screen... before winking for no reason, covering Zeleke's... indecency, as the camera quickly cuts to a Technical Difficulties Screen.
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Post by Redface: Dispenser of Justice on May 5, 2007 19:03:17 GMT -5
Time: 9: 48 A.M. EST. Thursday, May 3rd, 1007.
*The Regis & Kelly Graphic appears on screen and the theme music of the show starts up as we return from commercial. Kelly of course is talking about her husband...or something...*
Kelly:...So then I said to My Husband, Mark, I said Mark: "Wuh wuh wuh wuhwuhwuh".
Regis: *rolling his eyes* Erm...Yes, That's Great Kelly, But Why Don't you introduce our next guest?
Kelly: Oh, Great Idea, Reej!
Regis: Yeah...I asked you to stop calling me that....
Kelly: Our next guest is professional wrestler who is currently working for the-Oh, I hope I get this right-Extremely Wrestling Federation!
Regis: I believe that's: Extreme Wrestling Threaderation.
Kelly: Yeah, so Anyway, He works for the Extremely Wrestling Federation, whose annual Pay-per-view event: Crap-A-Mania Four is coming on This Sunday! To tell us more, let me introduce our next Guest: Redface Rodgers!
*Redface walks on stage to thunderous applause. He walks over to Regis and shakes his hand, he then moves to Kelly and hugs her around the shoulders. He is about to take his seat when, all of a sudden, a Hooded figure bum-rushes the stage and attacks Redface with a barbed-wire baseball bat until Redface is bleeding profusely and laying unconscious on the floor. The figure then removes his hood to reveal the face of Christopher Indigo! Indigo grabs the idle Redface by the scruff of the neck and begins yelling at the Bleeding man.*
Indigo: Disgusting Prole! Did you think you could disgrace BB and get away with it?
*The audience is screaming bloody murder at the site. Security has finally come to part the fray. A heavily bearded guard grabs Indigo by the arm-And levels him with a ferocious head-butt! The guard removes his faux-beard to reveal the face of Singapore Caine (ain't that convenient?)! Caine grabs the baseball bat and goes to town on Indigo. The rest of the legit security staff attempts to break up the fight.*
Regis: Where do they get these Wack-a-doos?
*fade to black*
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on May 5, 2007 20:15:04 GMT -5
Family Feud with The Cidal Squad
Louie Anderson: Hello and welcome back to the Family Feud! We are ready for the Fast Money Round! But before that, I’d like to talk about how special this week has been. See, in the Feud, we have teams of 5, but not everyone has that big of a family, so this week, we’ve had celebrities of the family’s choosing fill in those voids. Today, a college-aged man came on with his mother, and he is a big wrestling fan, so he chose 3 wrestlers known as THE CIDAL SQUAD, one of which is here with me, and another is backstage in an isolation booth.
(camera pans over to show “Sinnercidal” Jonathan Doe towering over Louie)
Louie: Mr. Doe, are you ready?
Doe: I was born ready!
Louise: Ok, you’ll have 30 seconds to answer the following 5 questions. We surveyed 100 people. #1; Name something you’d want to take to the beach.
Doe: A book
Louie: A food considered a treat by children?
Doe: Pasta
Louie: A country usually considered exotic?
Doe: Spain
Louie: A beloved pet
Doe: A parrot
Louie: A sport that can be played regardless of age
Doe: Wrestling
Louie: OK. Lets see what you got. Name something you’d want to take to the beach. You said a book. Survey said….20. Not bad. A food considered a treat by children. Now you said Pasta, and I don’t know why you said that.
Doe: When I was growing up, pasta was a privilege, dammit!
Louie: Um,OK. Survey says…..0! A country usually considered exotic. You said Spain. Survey says…17! A beloved pet. You said Parrot/Bird. Survey says…..4. Not good. Finally, a sport that can be played regardless of age. You said, Wrestling? You are bizarre. Survey says…1? What the- well anyway. That’s a final score is 42. Lets bring out Andy!
Doe: Its all rigged anyway. Why would I want to play something fake?
(Duke comes out from backstage)
Louie: Now Andy, Jonathan didn’t do so well. You’re going to have to score 158 points. You know the rules. 35 seconds. If you duplicate an answer, you’ll hear this (LOUD BEEP!).You got it? OK. 100 people surveyed…Something you’d like to take to the beach
Duke: Bug Spray!
Louie: Something considered a treat by children
Duke: Cake
Louie: An exotic country
Duke: Brazil
Louie: A beloved pet
Duke: A dog
Louie: A sport that can be played regardless of age
Duke: Wrestling!
(LOUD BEEP!)
Duke: uhhh, Golf
Louie: OK. I have a feeling you did quite well. Something you want to take to the beach. You said bug spray. Survey said…22. Towel was number 1. Something considered a treat by children, you said cake. Survey says…43. Number 1 answer! So far you have 75 of 158 points needed. An exotic country, you said Brazil
Duke: Have you seen their women? And some of their men, but that’s another story for another time? HEYO!
Louie: Yeah, I don’t wanna loose this job again. Survey says….44. Number 1 answer! Beloved pet, you said dog. Survey says…32. Another number 1 answer! That brings you up to 183, meaning you need 17 to win, A sport that can be played at any age. You said Golf. Survey says…34. You win!
Duke: Just like we’re gonna win tomorrow night in the TLC Gauntlet!
Louie: Oh yes, that’s right. All you people out there, tomorrow night is EWT’s biggest event of the year, EWT presents Crap-A-Mania IV. These two men right here (refers to Duke and Doe) are in a match for the Tag Team belts, and that man (refers to Mike Ragnal, over at the podium) will be defending the EWT World Heavyweight Title.
(The contestant who wished for the Squad to be on his team comes out) Contestant: I won! I won!
(A woman brings out a big fake check for $20,000)
Duke: Can you shut him up
Doe: Gladly!
(He punches him in the face. Duke and Ragnal hold one side of the check each, and turn it sideways, so it is like a table. Doe picks up the contestant, and power bombs him through the check!)
Louie: YOU CAN’T DO THAT! HE JUST WON TWENTY-THOUSAND DOLLARS!
Duke: Just watch us.
(Duke lariats Louie Anderson, as the show comes off the air, and an ad for Crap-A-Mania comes on)
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2007 20:24:28 GMT -5
*After a commercial hyping none other than Crap-a-Mania !!!!, we return from a commercial break to none other than Doctor Phil, sitting in a chair on his show. Next to him, are three chairs--rather ornate in appearance--and no doubt shipped in for "some people." The crowd is abuzz.* Phil: Hello, and welcome back. Now, some of you may know about the wrestling promotion EWT. It's considered one of the largest in the world right now, and this weekend is their hallmark Pay Per View event, Crap-a-Mania. So joining us today is one of their tag teams, TJT! *Out walk the three of them in their street clothes, positioned a'la their entrance with boos here and there. Thunder and Jupiter take seats on the left and right chairs, and Terina sits in the middle between them.* Welcome to the show! Terina: It's a pleasure, as always. Phil: As always? Terina: Of course. Jupiter: When you're loaded with cash and a member of the high-impact teaming in wrestling, you would too, Doctor! Phil: Now sure, you people are rich storyline-wise, but what about in real life? Terina: Excuse me? You can't be serious. Can you? Jupiter: Now certainly you don't mean that, right? Thunder: Asking us about this? Dude, we had private movers bring in these Italian leather chairs! You expect us to be poor? Phil: Well, no, but...weren't those guys company-provided? Thunder: No...just...no. Terina: We are most definitely affluent. My family is in ownership of a nationwide shipping business! Jupiter: My family runs restaurants. Thunder: Energy company here, folks. In fact, I'm the richest of us three. Phil: You don't say... Terina: We most certainly DO say. Thunder: It's true. Here: look at our business cards! *All three pull out their cards in unison, the camera zooming in on them.* Phil: They look legitimate enough to me... Jupiter: Legitimate enough? Who are YOU to say that to US, when you are nothing more than a pathetic, ass-kissing charlatain! Phil: I give people plenty of advice, and help them realize-- Thunder: The obvious. Maybe you should get your own comic. "THE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!" Terina: And his not-so vile arch-nemesis, the Logical Man! Thunder: "Logical Man...your reign of deep thinking is over!" Juipter: "Oh no! The might of common sense is overtaking me---AAAAAGH!" *TJT all explode into laughter.* Phil: Speaking of advice, I have a few questions for you. Terina: Alright. Jupiter: We'll....humor you. Phil: Alright. This question is posed to you, Terina. Jupiter: Oh great. Snub the two alpha males! Thunder: Yeah, forget us! Especially with all of our teamwork, our sense of humor, being the men that fight for the team-- Terina: I don't know. I think I could fill in for one of you guys here and-- Jupiter: As IF, Terina! We're custom-made! Me and Thunder...we have incredible chemistry as a team! Thunder: Yeah, Terina, normally I'd agree with you, but me and Jason...we're the guys who started the team here! Phil: Everyone, please! I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU! *The three members of TJT abruptly stop and stare at him.* Terina: Alright then, shoot. Phil: Okay. Terina, my question is, how can a woman with common sense, and a feministic side be with these guys--and that is, one woman, with TWO guys. Doesn't that make people think badly about you? Terina: What's so bad about Jim and Jason? Phil: Well, how can you tolerate these two guys who are insane party animals, as I heard...and are, as you might say...chauvanistic? Terina: ... EXCUSE ME? Thunder: What's the deal with you, Doc? Jupiter: Shut the hell up, you jackoff! I don't have to put up with this! Terina: They're fun guys to be around. And you'd be surprised, but somehow, I remain a virgin around these two guys. Thunder: Sure, me and Jason have had our fair share of chicks... Jupiter: But we would not dare to do anything to this woman! Terina: But maybe I shouldn't be the way I am. After all, only people as perfect as us should be able to have kids. It's people like you who come up with...what? Thunder: A bunch of pencil-necked nerds who go to their beloved conventions and whine on message boards about how THIS GUY HEZ BACKSTAGE HeAT? Jupiter: Blobs of skin that have no concept of how to control what they eat? Terina: The kinds of women that stand out on street corners and selling their lives away? Jupiter*getting up*: All you sorry people disgust me! You-- Phil: And you definitely need ANGER MANAGEMENT! Thunder: And...you need to JUST SHUT THE f*** UP! NOOWWW! This ain't gonna be your show--not tonight, anyway! *The crowd makes a sudden "OOOOOHHH!"* *Jack Jupiter, in his street clothes, and the Midnight Mystery, in a suit, walk onscreen with two chairs and sit down next to TJT.* Thunder: Ladies and gentlemen! Jupiter: Commoners of the world! Terina: This is TJT Shoots Back! Thunder: I'm JIMMAH THUNDAH! Jupiter: I'm the ever-clever Jason Jupiter! Terina: I'm the manager and leader, Terina! Jack: I'm the REAL Jack Jupiter! *Overwhelming boos.* Mystery: BLAGABLAGAZZZZZOOOOOOOFLUOUS! *Everyone goes silent.* Mystery: BLAGA...BLAGA...ZZZZZOOOOOOO....FLUUUUUUUOUS!Jack: Q-F-T, man. Jupiter: What do you think this is? Something going on on a computer?! *TJT, Jack, and the Mystery all look at the camera, almost anticipating something...* Terina: Frankly, everything on Sunday is ours! Jupiter: Jim and I...we have our match in the bag. Rated X, we always conquered at big events in the indies, against legions of teams! What gives you even the passing thought that you will be able to match us? Thunder: What he said! I mean, really! Terina: Ivy...you're still green to me. I don't care who you helped, you have yet to do anything I could even dare to consider impressive! You know, this-- Jack: Ultimo Chocula... I CAN WIN THIS MATCH!Phil: That's it! Security, help me out! *A trio of ominously dressed men with dart guns come rushing out from the back. As they do, Jack and TJT get up and begin yelling in random canon.* Mystery: NEUFLOMA! *Ambles over the normally-offscreen concession table as the camera pans with him. He begins eating a bowl of nachos and cheese. The security follows just behind him, guns raised.* Security Guard: What are you doing?! Mystery: BAAAAALARRRRRG! *Doctor Phil runs up to the Mystery.* Phil: Mystery...Mystery....STOP! Mystery: BRAGH! *With one massive hand, swipes at Phil and knocks him out as darts are shot into him en masse by the security.* Mystery: BRRROOOOOGAAAAARRRRRHG! *He stumbles a bit, before toppling over into the crowd--but before hitting anyone, the following image appears on-screen:* *There is a commercial break...*
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Post by brokenrose on May 6, 2007 5:04:43 GMT -5
Adam Corrola: Hello, everyone... I'm Adam Corrola. And this is the Adam Corrola show. So if you do not in face like me, Adam Corrola, then you'd best go off and do something else. Anyways, I'm here in the studio with the fetching Juri Sadamo-
BR: If I may interrupt, Adam?
Adam: Go ahead. Can I get wood while you talk?
BR: *chuckle* That's sort of a double meaning in wrestling.
Adam: You'll find I'm full of double meanings.
BR: I imagine so. Anyways, I just want to make note that I am BR Juri Sadamoto.
Adam: That's it?
BR: Well, that's all for now. You were speaking. Continue.
Adam: Ahem, I'm here with the fetching BR Juri Sadamoto of the EWT. Now Juri, what brings you here to my show?
BR: Basically to pointlessly shill that Crap-A-Mania !!!! is going on this Sunday and that I have a match with a good friend of mine.
Adam: Crap-A-Mania? Is there going to be much fecal matter at the show?
BR: Not really. Well, if you count Mr. Halaway then, yes there will be some. But it's mostly just a name for the best PPV of the year for us.
Adam: And for those that are unfamiliar with EWT, you are not in fact a porn star.
BR: No... I'm a professional wrestler. Do you get much of that crowd in here?
Adam: Sex sells.
BR: See that opinion is something that I really hate. I mean in a business like wrestling, women are looked upon as jokes by both fans and non-fans. And with an arg-
Adam: They were gay porn stars. Male ones.
BR: YOU have a homosexual crowd?
Adam: I'm as shocked as you, really. So this friend? *clearly reading.* Synthy Eris? Is that the same wild women that attacked Tyra Banks?!
BR: *chuckle* You are correct, Mr. Radio Host. That she is.
Adam: Looks like you have your work cut out for you. Although you may just win by default if she's arrested.
BR: Ah, everyone thinks that... But EWT management has made sure that we have the best lawyers in the world. Otherwise, we would be sued every time ape took a breath.
Adam: So do you have much to say about your original host that you were supposed to be a guest for?
BR: That Don guy?
Adam: Yeah.
BR: I think what he said was unnecessary and that he should have received punishment for it. But just not all the media attention that he got.
Adam: What would have done if he said it when you were there.
BR: I'd give him what for.
Adam: How so?
BR: I'd probably chop him once or twice.
Adam: Ah, the dreaded chops. I have a few friends that are fans said that you are quite deadly with your hands.
BR: I'm told that.
Adam: Why don't you chop me? I want to see what it feels like!
BR: You're serious?
Adam: Yeah, plus there's a huge bet going against me that either I'll anger you into beating me up or that I will not be able to handle one.
BR: Which ones did you place your bets on?
Adam: I bet that I probably would anger you and that I would be able to stand a chop. And since we are low on time, I just want to win one. You want to humor me with the second one?
BR: Sure I guess....
*A pause occurs as she takes off her phones to walk over to Adam.*
Adam: Should I take my shirt off?
BR: *not as clear* It's your funeral.
Adam: Shirt on then.
BR: *not as clear* Ready?
Adam: Sure.
SLAP!
Adam: .............ow.......
BR: *back on the mic* You okay, Adam?
Adam: Yeah, man that stings. And you do more than one of these per match?
BR: Sometimes to the face or throat, yeah.
Adam: Ah, well our time is pretty much up. So it was nice having you, Miss Sadamoto right?
BR: Yes, Miss works just fine. And it was a pleasure to be here. A opposed to most of my peers, I imagine my segment wasn't as costly for payment to lawyers.
Adam: Well, that's it for the Adam Corrola show. Any last words, Miss Sadamoto?
BR: I'll be by to beat you at DDR later Synthy. I got the sodas ready.
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Post by thecursedone on May 6, 2007 6:00:29 GMT -5
* “You think you know me...” * *The EWT boos as Edge walks from out of the white smoke, he makes his way to the ring with a “I'm better than you” look. He slides into the ring, complete with sexually suggestive motions, before standing up. He is handled a live mic as his music ends.* Edge: Sesame Place? What, EWT couldn't afford Disney World? This place is terrible. It's not even number in the top 100 theme parks in the world. I'd even rank it behind Euro Disney! *Much boos.* Edge: Well anyways, WELCOME TO THE CUTTING EDGE! I'm your criminal handsome host, Edge! And for tonight I have what I suspect to be a VERY special tonight... None other than... * “Yo Ho” * *A very short and fat man in a cheap looking parrot suit bursts out from the EWT curtain, flapping his arms as he “soars” to right of the stage. He continues to flap his “wings”, leaving the EWT crowd very confused. But just then, a man in a very stereotypical pirate outfit walks out from the curtain and strikes the Captain Morgan pose.* Scurvy: ARRRRRRRRRR!!!! *Scurvy holds out his hand and Polly “flaps his wings” over to him excitedly to “land” on Simon's arm to “perch”. Simon struts down the ramp with a “pirate” like stagger, all the while Polly is “perched” on Simon's arm (walking behind him). He reaches the end of the ramp and reaches in his pocket with his free hand. He pulls out chocolate gold candy and throws it out into the crowd. He then lets out a big “pirate” laugh and finishes with a massive...* Scurvy: AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR- *He climbs the steps of the stairs, “rests” Polly to “perch” on the turnbuckle, and unsheathes his plastic cutlass. He points it at Edge with reckless abandon, and just to let him know that he means business, Scurvy lets out a monstrous...* Scurvy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! *His music ends. Edge is trying very hard not to laugh but ends up doing do anyway.* Edge: I guess my special comment was really fitting. *Boos.* Edge: Hey, cavemen... Get my guest a mic! *A nameless techie runs and hands Scurvy a mic.* Edge: So.... *laughter* Simon Scurvy, right? Welcome to the Cutt.....*more laughter* I'm sorry, I just can't take you seriously at all. Scurvy: ARRRRRRRRR!!!! YOU BE LAUGHING IN THE FACE OF THE LEGENDARY SIMON SCURVY!!!!! Polly: SQUAK! Scurvy: YOU TELL ME POLLY!!!! Edge: *laughing his ass off* Oh....my....god.......stop....it! You're....killing me....! Scurvy: ARRRRR!! I BE TELLING YOU POLLY, HE BE QUAKING IN HIS BOOTS! Polly: SQUAK! Scurvy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! I WILL ASK! *Edge is fit laughter that renders unable to speak.* Scurvy: AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! WHERE DO YOU BE GETTING OFF TAKING ME NAME!? Edge: ...Wha....wha....what? Scurvy: AAARRR! TIS I THAT BE THE ONLY RATED AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SUPERSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! *At this point Edge just rolls out of the ring and loses it, thus making this whole segment useless. Just like Polly.* Scurvy: AAAARRRRR! YOU, WRITER! YOU BE INSULTING POLLY!!!!! KAW: Huh? Scurvy: I DON'T TAKE KINDLY TO YOU MOCKING ME MATE! KAW: Well, now you do. Scurvy: AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! HOW'D YOU DO THAT? KAW: Creative control, deal with it. Scurvy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR!!! POLLY, HOW DO WE BE ENDING A SEGMENT THAT BROKE THE FOURTH WALL?! Polly: SQUAK?! Scurvy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!! WORKS FOR ME!!! *They meet at the ramp and conga out of the arena.*
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on May 6, 2007 8:58:07 GMT -5
Backstage and smartly dressed Curly Long is heading to the taxi rank to go to the Deal or no Deal show! Just as he reaches the cabs. Heiderndorf races by in his wheel chair and is helped into one of the bigger people carrier taxi's.
CURLY: AIEEERRRGRHHHHOW!
It would appear in Heidern-Dorf's ahste he has accidentally run over Curly Long's foot. As heidern-Dorf's taxi deaprts Curly gets into a Taxi of his own clutching his injured foot, the cab driver tries to help but Curly is having none of it.
CURLY: Get of me I'm fine, I'm not like that dumb legless buffon Heidern-Dorf, just drive me to the show. Bloody handicapped people ... ahh my foot!
the car drives off to the studio.
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Post by The Bad Man on May 9, 2007 6:29:07 GMT -5
(A recap from last week, exclusive to EWT.com!)
Curly exits the cab for the Deal or no Deal Studio. Sum Guy is standing outisde staring at the studio, or what used to be the studio. It is now a flaming ruin of a building, sirens are wailing, people are being helped out of the rubble. In the distance we can see Mr. Big and Mr. Bad throwing people around like rag dolls. The host Noel Edmonds comes stumbling out of the wreckage of the building and falls to the ground sobbing. Curly Long nudges Sum guy for an explanation as Stevie Richards and the Blue Meanie arrive in another taxi.
CURLY: What happened here?
SUM GUY: Big and Bad happened here.
Stevie Richards and the Blue Meanie look at the destruction
RICHARDS & MEANIE: We're Taking ... the next cab out of here!
The two members of the Blue World Order flag another taxi and leave. Curly shrugs and re-enters his cab, he motions to the cab driver to get going. A small grin on his face can be seen before the cab drives off. Meanwhile amongst the debree we can see Mr. Bad throwing red boxes at other contestants who are still hangin around, whilst Mr. Big appears to be on the phone to the banker, which somehow is still working.
MR.BIG: Right you either give us your money or I have Mr. Bad destroy more of your precious studio, so is it a deal? ... uh-huh ...
Mr. Big looks around at the gutted building that housed the quiz show.
MR. BIG (Still on phone): Your quite right, this is daylight robbery! but you're the banker I thought that's how this gameshow worked? ... hmmm ... really? ... then it would appear we have ... No Deal!!
Mr. Big slams the phone down on the table, which then collapses. Mr Big calls Mr. Bad over and they walk off in the direction of the EWT arena.
MR. BAD (Rapsy and gurgling): So did we win?
MR. BIG: Well Bad, we didn't win the money, but ti was certainly good training for Crap-a-Mania!!!! ... C'mon let's go.
The two man mountains head to the subway, some passengers quickly get out of the way fearing for there safety)
(Cut to Hall of Fame ceremony replay)
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