Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
|
Post by Ass Dan on Jun 13, 2007 16:40:36 GMT -5
We cut to the back. Joe One is seen reading a red, leather-bound book. There is a knock at the door.
One: I'm meditating at the moment.
Voice: It's me, Richard.
Joe looks up from his book.
One: Alright, come in.
The door makes sounds.
Clay: It's locked.
Joe closes his eyes, then opens them again.
One: No, it's not.
Clay: Yes, it-
The door opens.
Clay: Oh. How rare.
Joe One sets down his book.
One: What is it you want to talk about, Mr. Clay?
Richard Clay sits down.
Clay: Well, it's your problem with Mr. Indigo. I have a bad feeling that this could mean the end of Minipax in the EWT.
One: Relax, Mr. Clay. This is mearly a minor quarel. Myself and Mr. Indigo will grapple for 20 minutes, after which he will respect me.
Clay: But what if he doesn't?
(Beat.)
One: Relax, Mr. Clay. This is mearly a minor quarel. Myself and Mr. Indigo will grapple for 20 minutes, after which he will respect me.
Clay: Well, if you say so....
One: I don't say so. I know so. The Nine Orders will be fufilled with an undivided Minipax. Failure is impossible.
Clay: Very well, sir.
Richard Clay gets up and leaves the room. One picks back up his book.
One: How Clay will fit into the Fifth Order, I'm not so sure.
*COMMERCIAL BREAK*
|
|
|
Post by teamireland on Jun 13, 2007 17:11:07 GMT -5
* "Sweden" starts playing as Liam O'Neill makes his way into the EWT arena.* Toni "The Garc" Garcya: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Cork, Ireland, weighing in at 209lbs, LIAM... O... NEILL! *The crowd reacts fairly positively to Liam's entrance. Liam looks warily at the crowd, still a little paranoid. He pops a handful of pills from a bottle tucked in the top of his pants.* *"Sweden" fades out & is replaced by this song. Once the rapping begins, Rev. Jimmy Orwell appears at the top of the ramp with a bible tucked under his arm.* Garcya: And his opponent, weighing in at 138lbs... REVEREND... JIMMY... ORWELL! *The good rev is in for a bit of trouble tonight as he's not actually a trained wrestler. Unlike Reverend D-Von, Orwell is a genuine Reverend & nothing more. The Reverend tentatively steps into the ring with Liam. Liam slumps in a corner until the bell rings.* DING-DING! *At that Liam rushes the unsuspecting Reverend & takes him down with a running dropkick. Liam picks up the rev who can do nothing to defend himself & whips him towards a corner. Liam pounds Jimmy's head on the turnbuckle over & over until Orwell's face is a bloody mess. Jimmy collapses to the ground as blood runs from his face & he twitches ever so slightly. Liam taps Orwell with the toe of his boot... no reaction. Seizing the opportunity, Liam ties Jimmy up in the "Irish Cloverleaf". Jimmy, being unconcious, doesn't tap. The ref checks the rev, Orwell's arm drops the the mat 3 times. The rev is out!* *"Sweden" begins again as the referee raises Liam's hand rather uncomfortably & paramedics rush the ring to aid the reverend.* Garcya: Here is your winner... LIAM... O... NEILL!! *Liam heads on back, still a little shaken by what he has done. He glares at the blood on his hands for a moment & runs to the back, no longer comfortable to be in front of the audience.*
|
|
|
Post by dorf on Jun 13, 2007 20:35:09 GMT -5
*Camera zooms to dorf in the back. He is speaking in front of a desk and seems a bit worried. A bandage wrap is above his head.* Dorf: Good evening gentleman. You know why I am here and I will cut to the chase. The reason I need your help as some kind of "insurance policy" to help protect me against David Davies and his Nyrdy crew. The last two PPVs, they interfered my chance to win those matches. As one was the TLC Gauntlet from Crap-a-Mania IV and the other was the recent TLC Battle Royal from Toomi's House Party 3. The latter of the two attacks gave me a concession and a partially collapsed lung, which has kept me out of action for about a week and a half since the PPV. Normally, I would be fine if it were two of them, but three is too much, which is why I need you guys. I do not want to be a member, but in case of dire needs, you scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours. I am very reliable and have no grudge against any of you guys....it's just that goddamn David Davies IS BACK HOW I HATE THAT SON OF A B****! GOD I HATE HIM!! Voice: Calm down, calm down. All you need to do sign on the "X" and you will have your insurance policy, 100% guaranteed. Dorf: *signs it* Thank you very much, its a done deal. *The voice suddenly develops a quiet smirk of evil laughter....* What was that? Voice: Uh, nothing. I almost coughed for second there. Dorf: Oh, okay. Well, I best be on my way to prepare for my match....damn that concussion sucked. I lost my memory on the Adams family. Voice: Just remember they're spooky and kooky *finger snaps 2x* Dorf: Um....yea. *leaves* *The voice laughs loudly as the camera turns around to the desk see that ITS THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION MIKE RAGNAL!! All of a sudden, the tag champs, the Cidal Squad consisting of Andy Duke and Johnathan Doe appear, the crowd boo's majestically.* Ragnal: *high fives both Doe and Duke* We got ourselves a sap!! HUZZAH!! It's only a matter of time before he learns that his fun is OVER! *All three do their usual things probably laughing and goth crap as the camera fades to black for a commercial.*
|
|
Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
|
Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Jun 13, 2007 23:39:52 GMT -5
"America" by Santana & P.O.D. is playing in the background as Christian Starr stands in the ring awaiting his opponent.
"You think you know me....."
"Metalingus" by Alter Bridge begins to play when suddenly, it warps to "Personal Jesus" by Marilyn Manson. Christian has a confused look on his face as the two songs fuse, creating a ghastly sound. Out comes a man, looking like the goofiest mother*bleep*er you've ever seen. He has long blonde hair, but has the Austin Aries sideburns, including the soul patch. He's wearing a weird fusion on tights and short tights, with a kneepad on the right leg. He makes his way down, trying to strut but somehow makes it look like he's marching.
Christian: You gotta be f***ing kidding me.
The man slides into the ring and climbs the ropes, doing some stupid taunt. Christian just hides his head in his hands, ashamed to even be in the same ring as this goofball.
Announcer: And his opponent, from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, wieghing in at 213 lbs.,
Starr: My retarded cousin....
Announcer: EDGE!! ARIES!!!
Aries pumps his hands in the air as Starr turns around, preparing for the fight. Aries spots Starr and goes crazy, running up to him.
Aries: Hey Christian!!
Starr: Sigh, hey Edge.
Aries: Gosh, my first match, and I'm teaming with you!! Isn't this awesome?!?
Starr: Um, Edge, this isn't a tag team match.
Aries: Really? Then who am I facing?
Starr: Well.....
Starr grabs Edge's rm and throws it over his head before hitting a Complete Shot, knocking the poor kid out. Starr rolls on his back and lands on his feet before grabbing Aries by the head. Starr makes the cut-throat motion before lifting Aries up, the poor kid barely consciouss
Starr: Sorry cuz.
Starr drives Aries down, hitting the Rican Bomb. Starr rolls over and makes the pin, mercifully ending the match.
-----Ding Ding Ding!-----
Announcer: Here is your winner, CHRISTIAN!! STARR!!
Starr looks at Edge with a look of pity before leaving the ring as we fade to a commercial for Irish Spring Soap.
"IT'S LUCKY CHARM FRESH IT IS!!"
|
|
Square
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Official Ambassador
Grand Poobah of Scavenger Hunts 2011
Square-Because he looks good at all the right angles.
Posts: 18,694
|
Post by Square on Jun 14, 2007 12:29:29 GMT -5
The Fink: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the EWT Tri State Championchip!
*"These Ain't a Scene" comes over the PA as Andy Davidson comes out from the back and holds his snooker cue over his head. He heads down the ramp as he's announced.*
The Fink: Introducing first, the challenger. From Preston England and weighing in at 290 lbs, he is the Technical Powerhouse..................ANDY "THE EAGLE" DAVIDSON!"
*Andy slides under the ring ropes and hops back up to his feet while swinging his cue around as the commentators discuss his chances.*
Todd Grisham: This could be a major break for Davidson. As we know he was the first to respond to Oceanic's open challenge for the belt and he appears to be ready!
Jerry Lawler: Ready or not he's still facing the champion and I don't care who you are when you face the champ you're the underdog no matter what!
*"From Sinking" comes on and the crowd gets hostile.*
The Fink: And his opponent, from Kauai Hawaii and weighing in at 126lbs, she is the current Tri State Champion and general manager of the EWT..............OCEANIC!
*After 20 seconds she comes out, just to antagonize the fans, with the Tri State title draped over her shoulder and slowly makes her way down the ramp, ignoring the loud boos coming from the fans. She walks up the ring steps and looks over the crowd from the ring apron with an eyebrow raised then enters the ring. She asks for the microphone.*
Oceanic: As everyone knows, Mr. Davidson here recieved a title shot by answering an open challenge, in spite of only being here for about, what, a month? Congratulations, Andy. Here's your big chance. But I'm afraid your big moment in the sun will be short lived. Based on your actions, I have to teach you how it works around here. First of all, don't ever come blasting into my office like Yosemite Sam ever again. Second, don't tell me what's up when you only have a handful of matches under your belt, where as I have beat some of the biggest names in the business. Stuff like that doesn't fly around here. And third, don't ever point that stupid "snooker", or whatever the hell you call it, at me or my friends. Do it again and I'll see to it that you'll have to call a proctologist to get it removed from your anal cavity.
*Oceanic walks right up to Davidson in spite of her being outweighted by 150 lbs and The Eagle towers over her. Davidson stares down at her intensly.*
Oceanic: Simply put, if you want to make a name for yourself you're going to have to do more than run your fat mouth, buddy boy. Trash talking morons are a dime a dozen and I like having my time wasted. So, just to see how tough you really are, this match will be no DQ.
*The fans give out a big pop as Oceanic backs up to her corner and hands the mic and her belt over to the referee. Davidson backs up to his corner with a very stern look on his face, not liking being called out in front of a packed arena.*
Todd Grisham: Oh my! I knew Oceanic was fearless but this may be borderline crazy! Davidson is a huge man and he doesn't mess around! And now it's no DQ? I think she finally signed her own death warrant!
Jerry Lawler: Davidson is a monster, I'll give you that. But Oceanic is no slouch herself. She's one of the more intelligent wrestlers in the entire EWT so if she makes it no DQ then there's more going on than what we suspect!
*The bell rings and the two circle one another. For some strange reason Oceanic locks up with Davidson and immediatly she's thrown down to the mat directly on her caboose. The fans cheer for Davidson as Oceanic gets back up and once again locks up. This time Davidson hoists her up into the air and lets her drop back down to the mat. Oceanic rolls out of the ring and restrategizes.*
Todd Grisham: Intelligent eh? Matching strength with the Eagle isn't exactly smart.
Jerry Lawler: Maybe so, but she's got something up her sleeve.
*Oceanic circles the ring on the outside and glares at Davidson. Davidson stands in the center of the ring calling her on, and she finally slides under the ropes. Oceanic gets in a Muay Thai stance and Davidson laughs. Oceanic rears back and hits Davidson in the chest, which surprises him at how hard it was. Oceanic hits him again and the big man staggers a little. Oceanic goes for a third but this time Davidson blocks it and hits her in the head, sending her down to the mat. Andy sends her into the ropes and nails her with a big time shoulder block. Davidson then lifts her up in a Gorilla Press and does about seven reps before slamming her down to the mat. Oceanic grabs her back and rolls out of the ring again as Davidson flexes in the ring.*
Todd Grisham: It appears that she hasn't quite learned her lesson yet, has she King?
Jerry Lawler: I don't know what her game plan is but if this is it then I have no idea what she's thinking!
*Oceanic hops up onto the ring apron and tells the ref to keep Davidson back. He does so and Oceanic re enters the ring. She faces off with Davidson again, this time she hits him with a fierce Thai kick to the leg, which Davidson doesn't appreciate. She blasts him again and Andy winces but doesn't move. Davidson is getting steamed and he goes for a kick himself but Oceanic catches it and with his groin exposes she kicks him right where it matters. Davidson bends over in extreme pain as Oceanic hits the ropes and nails The Eagle in the head with a well placed knee.*
Todd Grisham: Low blow! She got him with a low blow!
Jerry Lawler: It's no DQ, Grisham! That's perfectly legal! I knew she was up to something!
*With Davidson hunched over Oceanic begins to level him with a series of elbows and knees to his head which bring him down to the mat. Oceanic hits the ropes and drops a big leg drop across Davidson's skull. With Davidson grounded she stomps away at his head and torso with vigor. She props Davidson up in a sitting position and hits the ropes, coming back and clocking him dead in the jaw with another huge kick. Davidson hits the mat and Oceanic pounces on him UFC style with another barrage of elbows in hopes of knocking him out. She lets up only to jump up and hit a Tenta Splash right on his chest, knocking the air out of him. With her oppoent grounded she locks in a short arm scissors to wear him down. Davidson, in spite of being far more powerful, can't get out of the hold as Oceanic cranks on his arm to keep him subdued. After a minute or so in the hold Davidson begins to stir and he slowly turns over onto his stomach but Oceanic won't let go. Finally Davidson hoists her up onto his shoulders and stands up leaving Oceanic high and dry. Davidson then shot puts Oceanic high up into the air and she lands with a loud thud on the mat. She staggers up as Davidson hits the ropes and takes her down with a big clothesline. He covers.
1................... 2.................
She gets the shoulder up. Davidson sends Oceanic into the turnbuckles and he charges in after her but she gets out of the way and Davidson crashes into the buckle. As Davidson staggers out she super kicks his knee sending Davidson down to the mat. Oceanic hits her Lionsault/Double Legdrop combo and tries for the win.
1...................... 2.....................
Davidson kicks out big time sending Oceanic flying into the air again. Oceanic pounds the mat in frustration as she can't keep the big man down. Davidson has managed to prop himself up on his knees and Oceanic blasts him in the head with kick. Davidson wobbles but he doesn't fall over. She punches him but he still won't go down. Oceanic punches again and Davidson responds with one of his own, smacking her right in the stomach. Oceanic winces in obvious pain but she comes right back and punches Davidson, who responds with another punch of his own. Davidson gets up to one knee and Oceanic uses the opportunity to hit a Shining Wizard that connects full on. She thinks she's got him down again but with her back turned she doesn't see that Davidson has psyched himself up, shrugged the pain off, and is back up to his feet. Oceanic turns around to see Davidson come at her and lever her with a big boot. Davidson sends her into the ropes and hits a big back body drop. She staggers up to her feet as Davidson comes after her with a clothesline but she ducks it and hits the ropes herself. Oceanic leaps up as high as she can for a clothesline but Davidson has the same idea and they take each other down to the mat.
*Oceanic and The Eagle are both on the ground and both roll out to the outside. Davidson uses the steps to get up while the owner of EWT is using the apron, Davidson goes for another closeline but the vetren is able to move and get the Eagle to run into the ring post knocking him silly*
Todd Grisham: Now that has got to hurt!
Jerry Lawler: Well no! Do you want me to run your geeky head into a metal bar?
*Davidson is now busted open and is staggering around the outside while Oceanic is now stalking her taller oppoant and lands a sickening slap across Davidson's face which leaves Davidson staggering more than a drunk. Oceanic has a slight smile on her face, thinking that she finally may have him, and heads over to Davidson's side of the ring where his weapon of choice, the snooker cue, lies. Oceanic carries the cue over to where Davidson is now holding himself up on the ring post, Oceanic swings and as the cue is millimeters away from the face of the inexperianced star Davidson ducks and as the cue shatters on the ring post he grabs the legs of the female owner and lands a vicious slingshot into the ring post*
Jerry Lawler: What a terrible man, he just tried to destroy that pretty lady's face!
*Davidson rolls Oceanic into the ring and lets out a loud symbolic scream, Oceanic gets up slowly and as soon as she gets up onto two feet she gets knocked down, and possibly out, by a bycycle kick. The Eagle cracks his knuckles and looks to the turnbuckle and a small smile appears on his face. Davidson drags the owner over to a corner and he climbs up to the top rope, and as he gets his balance he's off landing a picture perfect "London's Eye", and goes for the pin*
Refferee: ONE!
TWO
Thre.... NO!
*Oceanic has her shoulder up and Davidson is livid, screaming at the refferee with foul words being caught by the cameras*
TG: We here at EWT do not condone in anyway the use of foul language.
JL: Ass kisser
*Davidson gets the refferee into the corner and is threating to hit, while on the other side of the ring the cunning Oceanic is getting up with the aid of the ropes. Davidson turns round and sees Oceanic primed for a avalanche in the corner so he sets off running full blast to recieves the Blue Mist right in the eyes. The refferee goes for the bell but Oceanic screams its "No DQ" as she locks in These Arms are Snakes getting the big man onto the ground, the ref goes over and asks if he wants to tap but Davidson is just out of it and the refferee calls for the bell*
Announcer: Here is the winner and STILL EWT Tri State champion OCEANIC!
*Oceanic holds the belt over the uncounsious Eagle while paramedics are running down*
TG: A valliant effort by the Eagle but the experiance of the vetern Oceanic just was too much for him
JL: Oh come on he was out of his league and all of these fans know it
TG: He gave a amazing effort for his 4th match in EWT and these fans are giving him a standing ovation.
*Davidson is seen being put onto a strecher and he whispers something to a paramedic who goes under the ring and gets Davidson a snooker cue, and as the fans are cheering for the defeated warrior he lies there holding the snooker cue like it was the tri state championship he was that close to getting*
|
|
Spectre
Mike the Goon
"The echo of a point in time..."
Posts: 44
|
Post by Spectre on Jun 14, 2007 12:53:01 GMT -5
<The hooded figure, having seen the goings on involving most of the champions of the EWT, now rises, slowly exiting. His face is still hidden, his motives are draped in mystery.>
<The crowd, understandably...has no idea how to react.>
|
|
Ratings
Dennis Stamp
Has a box of scraps
"YAY!"
Posts: 4,236
|
Post by Ratings on Jun 14, 2007 14:19:30 GMT -5
EWT ARENA - OCEANIC'S OFFICE
The temporary General Manager of EWT, Oceanic, sits in the leather chair behind her desk where her EWT Tri-State title is laid out over top. Sweat drips down her face and she is breathing deeply, signs of fatigue from her match with Andy Davidson earlier. Recalling her duties as GM of EWT, she signs and begins to look over some notes scattered across her desk with boredom, one of few headaches that come when you are the boss. Little does she know, that another headache is coming her way as there is a knock on the door. Before she can even request who the person on the other side is, the door opens anyway and in walks the intruder. Looking up from her notes, she narrows her eyes into the form of a glare as she identifies who the person who has barged into her office. It was the man who she eliminated last to become GM of EWT at Toomi's House Party: Ratings. As he approaches with a menacing glare, Oceanic stands up from her chair and the two have themselves a good old fashion face-to-face stare down.
Oceanic goes to speak, but Ratings raises his hand to her face in protest.
Ratings: "Don't speak. Not yet. You know what you have done to me? Do you know how much pain and torment you have caused in my life? You costed me my shot of become EWT General Manager while Toom E. Dangerously is on vacation. Because of you, I had to get 16 stiches in my forehead. Because of you, my friends--MAXX Awesome and Erik Majors--have deserted me in turned their backs on our once beautiful and damn-near poetic friendship. Because of you... the Elite... is dead."
He inhales in frustration while running his hand through his platnium blonde hair. Oceanic on the other hand, remains cool and shows no sign of backing down.
Ratings: "But you know what set me off, Oceanic? When I walked in to that battle royal being the odds on favorite and at the top of my game... it wasn't enough. I put everything I had into becoming the next great ruler of EWT and it only got me so far but not far enough. Simply put, I lost. I lost to someone superior in skills, I lost to someone with more experience, I lost... to the better man. Or in this case... the better WOMAN. With that said Oceanic, I would like to congratulate you from the bottom of my heart on besting me at Toomi's House Party and wish you luck in running EWT during our usual employer's absence."
Ratings extends his hand towards the Hawaiian Femme Fatale. She looks down at the handshake gesture with hesitation before she finally accepts.
Oceanic: "Thanks... Ratings. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some stuff to do."
Oceanic returns to her seat, but unfortunately for her, Ratings moves to her desk rather than exit the office.
Ratings: "Yes, I would imagine that your workload would be rather full at the moment."
He sits down on her desk casually, much to her annoyance.
Ratings: "You must be under a considerate amount of pressure living up to the expectations of Toom E. Dangerously, the EWT fans and wrestlers such as myself.”
He reaches over slowly and caresses her cheek, earning himself a icy glare from Oceanic in the process.
Ratings: “It would be a shame if such beauty were to be overwhelmed by her current task. It would pain me greatly to see you troubled over a situation you can’t handle.”
Oceanic: (sternly) “I can handle any situation.”
Ratings: “Oh, I am not doubting your willpower or intelligence, my little lehua. I’m only suggesting that perhaps I could be of assistance in the decision making of urgent matters. Which brings me to the current EWT World Heavyweight Championship. It has occurred to me that Michael Ragnal is without any suitable challengers. Now with that being of the most prestigious and important titles in our business, it would quite foolish to not give the man who holds the belt any competition. Therefore, I happen to know a man who is more suitable to fill that void and take on Mr. Ragnal for the title at the next pay-per-view: yours truly, Ratings. All I want to do is help you, Oceanic. As the saying goes, “for every great woman, there is a great man at her side.”
Suddenly, Ratings feels the presence of a large figure behind him, breathing down his next. With a scowl, he turns around and looks at the EWT’s monster from the deep, Maelstrom. Furious over the Palm Springs Playboy’s attempt to “woo” Oceanic, Maelstrom glowers at the smaller man with menacing eyes. A brief stare down occurs until with a smirk, Ratings breaks the silence.
Ratings: “Off feeding Flipper, were you?”
Ratings smirk turns into a frown as Maelstrom leans in close to his face, maintaining his cold stare.
Maelstrom: “Leave. Now.”
Usually a man who goes by his own rules, Ratings for once obliges though with a sigh of mock disappointment.
Ratings: “Well clearly I have overstayed my welcome so I will take my leave.”
He turns back to Oceanic and extends his hand again for another hand shake offering.
Ratings: “Miss Oceanic, I wish you all the best.”
As cautious as before, Oceanic carefully accepts Ratings gesture of proposed goodwill. However, she pulls back just as Ratings leans in and kisses her hand in a noble manner.
Ratings: (sinister grin) “And do take my proposal under great consideration.”
With that said, Ratings takes his leave but not before looking at Maelstrom with an amused snicker as he passes the 6’8” colossus. Oceanic and an enraged Maelstrom watch his departure, both feeling that the cocky heir has stepped on dangerous grounds.
|
|
Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
|
Post by Ragnal on Jun 14, 2007 14:51:22 GMT -5
*We return to the ring where Gorge Escobar is awaiting, holding up his NHWA World title as the crowd just looks on, asking who the hell he's supposed to be. Eventually, this plays- www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DpysZtVWB4* Lillian: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the EWT World Heavyweight Championship! In the ring already is Gorge Escorbar! And making his way to the ring now, the current reigning EWT World Heavyweight Champion...representing the Cidal Squad..."Elementalcidal" MIKE! RAGNAAAAAAAAL! *Mike Ragnal, at the bottom of the ramp with the World title around his waist, rolls into the ring and stands on his feet, and looks at the cocky Guatemalan...if he really is that. The two meet in the center of the ring, and Gorge dares Mike to pop him in the kisser. Apparently, he's giving Mike a free shot. So of course, Ragnal hits him with a roundhouse kick, and knocks him to the ground. The ref looks at the downed Escobar, who's apparently not moving, but he's at least breathing. The ref calls for the bell.* Lillian: Ladies and gentlemen...your winner by knockout...Mike RAGNAAAL! *Before Mike's music plays, he orders for a mic to be handed to him. He gets his wish, and looks at the seemingly dead opponent.* Mike: Wow...just, WOW. I dunno how you manage to live, buddy. For a World Champion, you're a pathetic nothing! What, do you know someone backstage that you had to give BJs to so you could be champ? Honestly, you're as pathetic as Arringhe Rosse! *A few crowd members laugh, while the majority boo the former Master of Elemental Disaster.* Mike: Oceanic, THIS was really the best you could do for me? Some pissant who may very well be paralyzed from the neck down? Is this a JOKE to you?! CUZ I AIN'T LAUGHING! You have until tomorrow to find me a suitable challenger for this belt! And lady...if I don't see someone stand up to me in the next 36 hours, there's gonna be HELL! *Mike throws the mic right out into the audience and hops over the ropes, landing outside the ring as the crowd boos him mercilessly while he walks up the ramp.*
|
|
|
Post by xombiehiphop on Jun 14, 2007 16:07:11 GMT -5
"Get Your Gunn" by Manson begins to play but instead of Karma stepping out onto the entrance ramp, the masses are instead greeted by Corpse, Wraith and Ghost Face. The music dies down and Corpse, who's clutching a microphone, begins to pace back and forth
Corpse: Pull your eye lids open as wide as they will stretch. An unveiling is about to take place. Confidence is key. Focus your attention. We have killed the little girl inside. The child is dead. One with the worms. Feasted upon by maggots. With intentions that are--
Realizing that Corpse isn't going to stop rambling anytime soon, Wraith snatches the mic away from him
Wraith: ..Allow us..to introduce..the brand..new..Karma!
Karma's tune starts up again and this time she steps through the curtain. She doesn't like entirely different at all. She looks the same. But she has a rather uncertain smile stretched across her face. Her eyes dart about as if her skeleton was trying to climb straight out of her mouth. Wraith slowly hands her the microphone
Karma: ...My name...is Karma...and I...am..very...happy...
The Draugr applaud and the crowd isn't sure what to make of it
Karma: ...And I'm going...to hurt...YOU!
Her face twists into an awful scowl as she marches down to the ring. Inside of it is a man known only as "The Groupie". He's dressed in a make shift Draugr shirt and hat that he's created himself. Hopping up and down once Karma gets close enough, begging for an autograph. Instead he receives a boot to the gut which doubles him over. She edges backwards a few steps and crashes her knee into his jaw, a Running Knee To The Face. When The Groupie eventually pushes himself to his feet, he's met with the "Hail Mary" which sends a tooth flying out into the third row. A foot placed on the throat is applied as a pin..
..1..
..2..
..3..
The rest of The Draugr slide into the ring as Karma stands over The Groupie, seething, running her hands through her hair. Ghost Face forces the man to kneeling position, giving the camera a good look at the blood dripping down his mouth, the missing tooth. Ghost Face holds him still while speaking into a microphone
Ghost Face: ..Oceanic..do you see this brutality? ..Does it scare you? No, I don't think it does. You are a powerful woman. A woman who deserves everything she's obtained. ..But we've noticed something..your surrounded by ghouls. ..These..pigs..constantly building around you..trying to manipulate you. ..Questioning your command. ..Nothing but filth..these animals operate solely on jealously.
..Which is why..we offer our personal service to you..just point us in a direction..and we will maim..whom so ever..is a thorn in your side..
The Groupie is dropped face first on the mat as he withers about. Ghost Face tosses the mic aside as The Draugr depart from the ring
|
|
|
Post by DieShiguya on Jun 14, 2007 19:08:56 GMT -5
*The camera flickers, and a white room appears, once more, a man outlined and viewed only in black is standing in the center. *
“Ladies….fellow men…Hello once again. … I have to be careful what I say during this..” *He waves his hand around the room, “Ah, moment of clarity. You see, I know what many of you think when you see the purity of this room.. and not what my appearance is. You wonder about my reasons for being here, in this place…at this time. Well….my dearest strangers…my wounds are internal. And next week, my debut shall show you…how exactly, internal pain can be inflicted just as well on the outside. Wait and see, as next week…finally….I will show you fear in a handful of … static. This is Die Shiguya, and … have sweet nightmares.”
*The man walks toward the camera, but eerily, the camera goes to static before his face can be revealed. *
|
|
Spectre
Mike the Goon
"The echo of a point in time..."
Posts: 44
|
Post by Spectre on Jun 14, 2007 19:17:15 GMT -5
<The hooded figure has watched Mike Ragnal's match and post-match promo on a monitor backstage. He leans down, brings a hand up, and pulls back his hood...>
<Revealing a strange mask. It covers 3/4ths of his face, the upper left portion of his face the only fully visible quarter, and the mask almost seems to be made of a hard plastic. Dark hair is visible from that same top left portion of his face/head, and his eyes, both visible, are a striking pale blue/grey...but there is nothing else to draw from to gather a clue to the man's identity>
<He stalks away, seemingly dissapearing into the hallways...>
|
|
|
Post by radicalbuttercup on Jun 14, 2007 19:24:48 GMT -5
Announcer Type Person Thing: Ladies and gents! This match is scheduled for OOOOOONE fall! Introducing first! Hailing from The Dead Moon Circus.....accompanied to the ring by Mr.Bunny.....Madison The Clown Girl!
*"Tablescraps" begins to play and Madison heads to the ring, carrying an accordion with her. Mr.Bunny stalks along behind her while rubbing a hand across the weirdo arcane tattoo's he has on his sole exposed arm. Madison takes a little bow in the middle of the ring and awaits her opponent*
Announcer Type Person Thing: AaAAAaaaAAAnd her opponent......The Insomniac!
*"Staring At The Queen" by Team Sleep starts to play (Get it. Team Sleep? Insomniac? Lololololol) and a veeeeeeery sleepy looking woman makes an Undertaker like stroll to the ring. She has blood shot eyes, wearing pajama's and carrying a pillow. Madison stops her as she enters the ring*
Madison: I take it by yer clever moniker that ya must a very, very sleepy broad! That is precisely the reason I brought my accordion out here with me tonight! Ya see, my mind works in a very scientrific kinda way! I'm gonna sing ya a lullaby! And I gotta voice of a thousand angels so I know yer gonna love it!
*The Insomniac looks a little hesitant but will try anything to sleep. She nods and Madison lets out a cheerful little squeal. The rainbow haired clown starts to play her trusty instrument*
Madison: GREAT! Kay! Here we go! Me-me-me-me-meeeeeeeeee. T-T-T-T-T-THIS IS WHY I'M HOT! THIS IS WHY I'M HOT! I'M HOT CAUSE I'M FLY! YOU AIN'T CAUSE YA NOT!
*The Insomniac shakes her head in terror*
Madison: .......Ya don't like that one, huh? FINE! Here's another! I SEE'A RED DOOR AND I WANNA PAINT IT BLACK! NO COLORS ANYMORE I WANT 'EM TO TURN BLACK!
*The Insomniac looks positively spooked as she tries to talk over Madi to tell her to stop. Clown Girl stops and her eye twitches a bit*
Madison: .....Oh.....ya don't like that one either? WELL, maybe you'll like THIS ONE!
*Angered by The Insomniacs lack of cooperation, Madison smashes the accordion over her head and the challenger finally is a sleep. Just not the way she had hoped. The bell officially rings to signify the start of the match*
Madison: .....JERK!
*Madison slides onto her back and hooks a leg for the three count. She hops to her feet and dusts off her hands, glaring down at The Insomniac and her broken joy bringing tool. Mr. Bunny holds the ropes open for her as she exits the ring, grumbling to herself the entire way up the ramp*
|
|
|
Post by Hulkshi Tanahashi on Jun 14, 2007 20:35:22 GMT -5
*The Comedian is walking backstage, heading to his car and dragging his suitcase on wheels behind him. Sum Guy is running up behind him and yelling at him.* Sum Guy: Mr. Riggs. BOBBY RIGGS! *Riggs stops and turns around. Sum Guy finally catches up with.* Comedian: Jack McGee! Let’s make this quick. I want to get out of here because I got a hot date tonight! Sum Guy: *deep inhale and exhale* Why…*deep inhale and exhale*are…*deep inhale and exhale*you…*deep inhale and exhale*leaving…*deep inhale and exhale*now? Comedian: Because I got a date tonight! I just said so. Sum Guy: *catches his breath* But what about your match? Comedian: What match? Sum Guy: The match you have with Dentist the Menace. Comedian: Who!? Sum Guy: He’s your opponent this week. Comedian: I don’t have any match! Sum Guy: Yes, you do! He’s waiting in the ring for you! Comedian: Wait, I do have a match!? Dammit, I didn’t see my name on the matchboard! Here, hold this. *Riggs hands Sum Guy his suitcase. Then, he quickly starts running to the ring. After a minute or two, he eventually runs through the entrance way; and his music starts to play. www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a423fqOrpA Standing in the ring is a guy dressed as a dentist.* Lillian Garcia: And, his opponent, coming down to the ring, at 6 foot 6 inches, and weighing 290 lbs, from Los Angeles, CA: “THE COMEDIAN” BOBBY RIGGS. Jim Ross: Oh, finally! Jerry “The King” Lawler: It’s about time! *The Comedian runs down the ramp, slides into the ring, quickly gets up runs toward Dentist the Menace, and viciously clotheslines him.* JR: GOOD GOD ALMIGHY! King: That was some Funny Bone! *The Comedian picks Dentist up and hits him with throat first flapjack onto the top rope, followed by a school boy pin.* Ref: 1…2…3.*The bell rings.* King: Oh My God! This match is over already! JR: That has to be a record. Lillian: Here’s your winner—“THE COMEDIAN” BOBBY RIGGS. *Riggs exits the ring, runs up the ramp, and runs back to Sum Guy. He takes the suitcase.* Comedian: Thanks. Sum Guy: No problem. *Riggs resumes walking to his car. He gets to it, opens the trunk, puts his suitcase in the trunk, closes it, walks to the driver side door, opens it, starts his car, and drives off.*
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2007 21:40:06 GMT -5
*The camera fades in.*
Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first…
*Greeted by boos, ”Ain’t Coming Home” By Silvertide picks up over the loudspeakers and out rolls the green Jaguar, TJT situated inside as well as Jack. He hops out, as Jimmy, who’s driving the car, simply parks it out on the stage. Jack nods to his cousin and Jim, who nod back, only to look at an encouraging Terina, and turns his head back so sharply that he stumbles, nearly off the stage—causing the others to roll their eyes.*
Finkel: From San Diego, California, weighing in at 219 pounds…JACK JUPITER!
*Jack makes his way down to the ring, receiving jeers as he haplessly shrugs, sliding in. As he cracks his wrists, his music dies down, as well as the crowd.*
Finkel: And his opponent…
“A HORSE IS A HORSE, OF COURSE, OF COURSE…”
*The theme song from Mr. Ed plays, and out steps an awkward two-piece horse, two men holding the parts together from the inside, as it would seem.*
Finkel: From the stables of Parts Unknown, weighing in at 908 pounds, the TALKING HORSE!
*As the poorly stitched, costumed monstrosity ambles down to the ring, it reaches the outside, but cannot reach the inside of the ring. As it whinnies, the referee inside the ring goes to the announce table, returning with a microphone and holding it up to the horse.*
Talking Horse: We can’t get into the ring…give us a ramp, and cut off the ropes!
*The ref shakes his head.*
Talking Horse: Then IIIIIIIIIII quit!
*Just as the music starts back up, he starts back up the ramp—until Jack dives out, hitting a plancha right in the center of the “animal,” splitting it apart. Climbing out of the wreckage are two men wearing black jumpsuits, who look back at one another and then Jack, before scrambling through the crowd in opposite directions; Jack remains standing, apparently out of shock. He notices the microphone, apparently lost in the shuffle, and picks it up.*
Jack: All this trouble…for THAT? People fear the REEEEAAAL Jack Jupiter, and I aim to prove, once again, that I’m more than ready to do my damage!
*He drops the mic as “Ain’t Coming Home” plays again; Jack walking up the ramp, raising his arms in a cheesy manner. Upon reaching the car, he hops in, and it drives away, the fans too thoroughly confused to react.*
|
|
|
Post by brokenrose on Jun 14, 2007 21:40:14 GMT -5
The camera fades into the backstage area, where EWT Ox-Division Champion Cassinova is seen walking along the hallway with his iPod playing music loud enough that it can be heard erupting from his earpieces. With the corridor completely empty (save for the cameraman that he pretends not to notice), he actually begins to sing along with the metal that spirals from his mp3 player.Cassinova: Wake up! Grab a brush and put on a little make-up! Hide the scars to fade away the shake-up! Why'd you leave the keys upon the table? Here you go create another fable, you wanted to! Grab a brush and put on a little make-up, you wanted to! Hide the scars to fade away the shake-up, you wanted to! Why'd you leave the keys upon the table? You wanted to! I don't think you trust... in... my... self-righteous suicide... I... cry... when angels deserve to die... Cass, who actually has a decent voice for singing these types of songs, is too caught up with his musical act to dodge an oncoming woman as he walks around the corner. The two collide violently, causing Cass to stumble backwards and knocking the woman to the ground. After a while to shake off the dizziness, Cass picks up his iPod and begins to help the woman to her feet.Cassinova: Christ, lady, you almost broke my... woah, Jewelry? The camera pans over to show Juri Sadamoto, making her way to her feet and picking up a box that she dropped. She doesn't wait for an apology, and pushes her way past him without saying anything. Cass follows soon after.Cassinova: Oh, so now you're ignoring me? Juri: ( Stopping and spinning around.) Alright... assuming that you're going to end up following me, what do you want? Cassinova: As in right now? Juri: ...Don't answer that. Cassinova: Sure thing. Say, what's in the box? Juri skips around the subject.Juri: I.. uh.. saw what you did to Synthy the other day.. Cassinova: What a coincidence! So did I! Best part of the night, wasn't it? Juri: I wouldn't exactly... Cassinova: ...It was going along fine until, well... you saw what happened. So, what'd you say was in the box again? Juri begins to walk again, with Cassinova following along side her.Juri: If you must know, it was a replacement suit for that.. kimono I was forced to wear by some idiot with an agenda. Cassinova: I forced you to wear that suit. Juri: Yeah, that's what I said. Cassinova blinks once.Cassinova: You just said... Juri: Anyway, it got here too late to really be that good of use. The stipulation has already expired, so I don't really know what to do with this... Cassinova: You know, it's funny you should mention that. We already talked about that whole "Synthy" situation, but I forgot to tell you that it really.. inspired me. Juri: It.. inspired you? Cassinova: Ch'yeah. I mean, I didn't have a spiritual revelation or anything, it just gave me a sign to be more... assertive. Juri rolls her eyes while walking. Ways of getting away from this encounter are floating in the back of her mind.Juri: I'm sure you'll put the 'ass' in assertive. Cassinova: Why, thank you. Hearing that, I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that my first act as the new 'Cassertive' Cassinova, is to extend that little stipulation that you and Synthy have. Juri almost trips over her own feet in surprise. She sits her box on a nearby refreshment table and stares at Cass in shock.Juri: Excuse me? Cassinova: Sorry, I should explain. Well, actually there's nothing to explain, since it didn't say anywhere on that funny little "contract" thingy that this stip only lasts a month. Juri: ( stuttering in a state of surprise and confusion) B-but... but... Cassinova: Buttons? Butt-pirate? Buttermilk? Juri: But, why are you doing this? What do you have against me? ...Is someone paying you? Cassinova: My dear Jewelry, this is all for you! ( He mumbles, "...And to see that b**** Synthy Eris suffer...") You never dressed in very, well, flattering clothes before, and I just wanted to see you do so. I guess it more or less backfired though, once I saw that... robe... that you wore. But with this new outfit, we get a chance to try again! What's the outfit, anyway? Juri: Again, not that it's any of your business, but I figured out that a loophole to your stipulation would be to wear something that goes along with my... other heritage. Cassinova: Ah, so you aren't 100% Mexicano, eh? Juri: I'm not... Cassinova: I know, I know. You're not Mexican. We've gone over this. I'll just say Spanish from now on, alright? Juri: ... Cassinova: Either way... I don't know about that box. It's like, what's it called? Peter Pan's box. That's it. Juri: Pandora's box... Cassinova: Pandora? Jewel, if you aren't Mexican then how come you know so much about the cartoon explorer chick? Juri: That's Dora the... nevermind. Cassinova: Eh, either way you slice it, I think your match is coming up soon. We've got to get you into that dressing room and try out the new suit. Juri: "We"? Cassinova: Me and you, duh. Juri: Oh no, loverboy. If you think I'm going to let you watch me get dres... By now, Cass has begun to whistle innocently, all the while pulling a copy of the contract out of his jeans pocket and handing it to her. He points to a highlighted section and leans against the wall, allowing her to read.Juri: "...All parties may be subjected to be viewed while executing the stipulation, no matter what it..." oh, what is this?! If you seriously believe that some words on paper are going to cause me to dishonor myself, then you are sadly... Cass, still whistling, slyly points to another highlight section in the contract.Juri: "...If parties do not comply with all points within this document, they may...." She reads silently to herself for a while.Juri: ( Cass mouths her words as she speaks, already knowing what she's going to read.) "...Highest penalty shall be the release from the involved parties' employment contract?!" Are you telling me that if I don't let you watch me change clothes, I could be fired?! Cassinova: I never said a word to you. That's just what the contract says. Juri throws the contract back at him. He catches it, and it is obvious that her frustration with this man is starting to catch up with her.Juri: Cass... I'm going to be honest. As much of a sexist pig and downright horrible person you are, I doubt you have that much of a problem seeing women in the nude. And if you did, I'm sure there are thousands of strip clubs where women will degrade themselves for you every night of the week. Cassinova: Not a word in that entire statement that I disagree with... Juri: Alright, with that said... why me?! Cassinova: You're special. Juri groans, before sighing and picking up her box.Juri: ...Let's get this over with. I don't care what the contract says, you're seeing as little as possible with me still keeping my job. It did not say you had to see me naked, and luckily for me, there's a dressing curtain in my lockerroom. Cassinova: ...You disappoint me, but whatever floats your boat. I've got a good imagination, the shadows'll do. But uh... let me hold onto this. ( he snatches away her box) Juri: Hey! Cassinova: Sorry babes, but as unappealing as that poncho... Juri: Kimono. Cassinova: Yokozuna. But anyway, as unappealing as that poncho... Juri: Kimono! Cassinova: Nintendo. Alright, like I was saying, as unappealing as that poncho... Juri: Kimono!Cassinova: Mitsubishi! Let me talk! As unappealing as that poncho... Juri: Kimono, kimono, kimono! Cassinova: Okay, look. This word association game is starting to get old, alright? Just stop it, I don't want to play. ( Clears throat.) As unappealing as your other get-up is, I've gotta see you in it one more time. It was just priceless. Juri: So... you mean I've got to wear that thing again? Cassinova: ( Half-mimicking her voice) Yes you have to wear that thing again. ( Normal voice.) Relax, it's just one more time. It won't hurt you. I just can't resist seeing you in that dress one last time. Sexy it is not, but finally as all hell, it is. Juri: ...You're really going to make me do this, aren't you? Cassinova: 'Cassertive', Juri. 'Cassertive.' Juri: Stop saying that! Cassinova blinks in silence.Cassinova: Jeez, who licked the icing off of your cupcake? Juri: Forget this. You, me... I get that kimono, we do this one last time, we work out a defined contract, you vanish from my life forever. Cassinova: Better idea. You, me... we find the Continuum Transfunctioner, and look for some hot space chicks to give it to in exchange for oral pleasure. Long pause.Juri: ...What?! Cassinova: ( Facepalming.) Ugh, sorry about that. I was having a flashback of that movie. I guess your idea works, but we'll have to talk about the "vanishing" part, though. They mumble incoherently to eachother as they walk off of the camera frame and we...FADE TO COMMERCIAL_____________________________________ *Back from commercial* Finkel: The following match is scheduled for ONE FALL... * The camera pan around the arena to show the crowd as “Cotton Eye Joe” by Rednex begins to assault their ears. * JBL: What the hell is this? Cole: Oh that's the song “Cotton Eye Joe” by Rednex, they are a Swedish band. JBL: ... Cole: What? JBL: I think my respect for you has fallen again. Cole: Oh come on, John! JBL: No, mean it! Although I can't say I'm surprised about your... “interests”. Cole: I just like the song! JBL: You make me sick. *A very “homely” and “fluffy” woman in a Mumu walks through the curtain to the delight of no one. With her is a rather large hog on a leash that she is dragging along and a pink championship belt that is held around her waist by duct tape.* Finkel: On her way to the ring... Representing the New Hampshire Wrestling Academy... From Down on the farm... Weighting in at 269 lbs... She is the “Pretty Lady” Champion.... RETHA HOGGWALLER! *She blows a kiss to the audience as she reaches the steps then ties her hog to the steps and enters the ring in the style of Stacy Keibler. Which has the oppose effect that she probably would want as the few that get a “special look” lose their lunch.* Cole: Oh my! JBL: You like this don't you? Cole: ...It's funn- JBL: THAT'S YOUR WAY OF SAYING THAT YOU DO! I KNOW! Cole: So what if I do? JBL: That's it! I'm moving away from you, sicko. *Retha enters the ring and rips the duct tape off her title so that she can hand it off. After she releases herself, her natural gut fills out.* JBL: This woman makes Aja Kong look like Cindy Crawford. *Her music ends as does any sexual excitement the crowd had investment in this match.* * The riff of “Rose” brings the grossed out crowd back to life. * *From out of the back comes the kimono clad Juri Sadamoto, looking not so happy to be in the public in such a girlie dress. Although, for her, it's one step above Cassinova watching her change into it. But that still doesn't stop her from involuntarily blushing at the catcalls as she makes it down to the ring. She begins to get her game face after seeing the hog at the steps and her enormous opponent. However, she gets unnerved as she finds that the hog is preventing her from entering by the steps. Which forces her to walk around to the ring steps on the other side.* Finkel: And circling the ring at the moment... Representing EWT... Now residing in Osaka, Japan... Weighing in at 142 lbs... BR JURI SADAMOTO! Cole: You heard it, quite the weight difference, eh John? JBL: You say that like it means something. Cole: What do you mean? JBL: You forget Juri is somewhat of a giant killer... She was able to take down A-Train for a pin. Cole: With the TIMFA, yes she did. JBL: What's your point? Cole: Well, how can you expect her to do the TIMFA in her kimono? JBL: If she's a TRUE warrior like she says she is, then she'll find a way. *Retha walks over and leans on the ropes to help Juri in, all the while laughing at her “tiny” opponent. Juri says nothing as she moves to the other side and enters from there. In a flash, Retha slams her body so that Juri is squashed between the ropes and her own bulbous mass. The referee's reaction mirrors the thoughts of everyone in the arena... A simple mouthed “ow”. He calls for the bell to start the match.* Cole: Looks like Retha's more than just a body. JBL: She's THREE bodies! *As Retha backs up Juri slumps to the ground, gasping for air. She is given no chance to as Retha stomps down her back repeatedly and finishes by planted both feet on the small of BR's back. Retha uses the ropes for more leverage as Juri gasps for breath as she is being compressed into the mat. The referee begins a count.* 1... 2... 3.... 4.... *Retha steps back as she admires the damage done on the fiery Joshi. Juri grunts as she pulls herself up with the ring ropes only for Retha to crack her boot against her head. The sound of the impact shocks the crowd while the impact itself sends Juri to the unforgiving outside.* Cole: Oh my! What a shot to the skull! JBL: Well, I guess there's more to Retha than her looks. Cole: Like her speed! I'm stunned by it. JBL: I'm pretty sure that Juri is stunned as well. *Retha rolls her massive body out of the ring to continue the onslaught. With help from the ring curtain, Juri has made it her to feet but that does little to help her. For Retha is there to meet her head on. Sadamoto, not ready to give up just yet, gives a hard chop to Retha's chest. Yet due to her long sleeves on her kimono it has little effect. Nor does it garish a “WOO”. Retha brushes off the chop as she would a leaf on her. Juri silently curses in Japanese seconds before Retha slams a Double Axe Handle to the back of her head. BR falls down in a heap.* Cole: This is all the fault of Cassinova! If it wasn't for him, Juri would be able to mount an offensive against Mrs. Hoggwaller. JBL: Mrs. Hoggwaller? Somebody MARRIED THAT?! Cole: Slip of the tongue. JBL: Well, anyways I don't think that Juri has long for this match. *Retha lifts the dead weight that is Juri and quickly wraps her arms around the waist of Juri. She attempts to squeeze the life out of Juri when she catches that the referee has the 10 count at 5. She quickly slams Juri against the turnbuckle to roll into the ring then roll out to restart the count. This break was not long enough for Juri to recover. Her hair blankets her face as her mouth quivers in pain. Retha grabs Juri by her hair and starts dragging her over to the hog. But she maybe have gotten too confident as BR recovers enough to slam her sandaled foot into the jaw of Retha. The woman from down on the farm falls back to her huge behind after the hard shot.* 7! Cole: This could be Juri's opening! *Juri, although dazed, is able to climb back into the ring. She rolls over to her back in the center of the ring, hoping that the kick was enough to win her the match. But much to everyone's surprise, at 9 & 99/100ths, Retha is able to make it back into the ring. Seeing that she needs to continue her opening Juri springs into action. She rolls to her knees and rolls up her sleeves as Retha is approaches her.* WOO! *Chop to the chest again.* WOO! *Another.* WOO! *Chop to the throat.* WOO! *Juri makes it to her feet as the audience cheers her on. She rears back for another, this time aimed at her face.* WOO! WOO! WOO! *Juri clenches her teeth as she breaks into a combo. Shin kick, quad kick, hip kick, stomach kick, and a finish of a Spinning Wheel Kick to the face!* JBL: NOW THAT IS IMPRESSIVE! *Retha's massive frame crumbles down to the ring. Juri goes for the cover.* 1! Tw- *Juri goes flying backward. Retha pushes herself back to her feet while Juri is slow to rise. Hoggwaller walks over to her and looks at the loose cloth that binds Juri's kimono to her. She flashes a dentist's nightmare as she grabs the cloth to rip off Juri's only support. Retha tosses to over to her hog for it to consume. The hog just brushes it off and lays down. Retha motions to the crowd that she's going to strip Juri, which brings some cheers from the true perverts in the crowd. She lifts the kimono clad BR into a Sleeper Hold as she attempts to pull it off. BR counters with a Jawbreaker, which frees her up but frees her in another way as well. She begins the realize just how as cameras flash and the audience erupts.* JBL: MISS SADAMOTO HAS BEEN STRIPPED DOWN TO HER UNDERWEAR! Cole: OH MY! THAT CAN'T BE GOOD FOR HER HONOR! *Juri's freckles on her face disappear completely in a sea of red as she finds her kimono is in the hands of Retha Hoggwaller. With kimono gone, she only has a black sports bar and red cotton panties to cover herself. Retha stands and waves the dress in front of her before throwing it out into the crowd. Juri's quakes as the cheers keep coming. Retha, seeing that Juri is distracted with her wardrobe malfunction, dashes for an attack. But it appears she was wrong as Juri's feet slam into her knees which slams Retha face first into the mat. Juri quickly dashes behind Retha to wait for the giant farm girl to make it to her feet. When she does, BR locks a Sleeper Hold of her own before jumping up and forcing Hoggwaller to fall backward on her exposed knees. Before the weight can overwhelm her, Juri rolls out from under the walking trailer. She stands, brushing herself off as she looks down at her opponent in disgust. Juri runs to the nearest turnbuckle, pointing up as she reaches the top. It is clear that she wants to end the quickly, as she does nothing as the crowd behind is cheering at the view or the rest excited to see her finally do the TIMFA again.* Cole: Could it be... THE TIMFA?! JBL: Heh heh heh... It's been awhile since we've seen it, but I think so! *Retha sits up, holding her back in pain. Instead of waiting for Retha to stand, Juri takes flight and smashes her knees right in the face of Retha. The ring actually shakes as the back of Retha's head slams against the mat. Juri smashes her elbow into the face of Retha as she demands that the referee make the count.* Cole: TIMFA TO THE SKULL! OH MY! JBL: THIS IS IT, COLE! 1! 2! ...3! *The referee calls for the bell as Juri rolls out of the ring and dashes to the back, to clothe herself most likely.* JBL: What a match! Cole: I hope Cass is happy what we've just seen Juri go through. JBL: Something tells me he's VERY happy. *Fade to commercial.*
|
|
|
Post by dorf on Jun 14, 2007 21:51:56 GMT -5
Dorf vs. Pete Casserole
*Pete Casserole is already in the ring as dorf's music begins to play. It's "Cancer" by Filter. He comes out to some cheers and some boo's for what he has signed with the devil. Dorf walks down the aisle and enters the ring just fine.*
Finkel: In the red corner, weighing in at 231 pounds, from your mother's Potato and Macaroni farms, PETE CASSEROLE!!
*crowd cheers*
Finkel: And in the blue corner, weighing in at 270 pounds, from Filthadelphia, Pencilvania, DORF!
*crowd half-cheers, half-boos him*
*The timekeeper goes into his spot and the referee checks both men to make sure nothing was illegal. There wasn't and the referee spots to the timekeeper to ring the bell!*
Bell: DING! DING! DING!
*Dorf still has his concussion bandage on his head as he and Casserole walk right up to each other and start off the match with a lock-up! He gets the advantage over Casserole Casserole and pushes him to a corner. A punch is attempted by dorf, but Casserole ducks and gets the crowd warmed up as he hits rights and lefts to dorf. For about five straight punches, dorf becomes fazed as Casserole walks up to the middle of the ring. Casserole runs at dorf with an attempted at a Clothesline to knock dorf down at the corner, but DORF DUCKS!*
*Casserole hits the turnbuckles and steps back into dorf with a Release German Suplex! Dorf makes Casserole stand up and connects with the Dorf Bottom. The crowd starts to boo dorf as he yet again makes Casserole stand up. He puts him through the inverted Crucifix position to set-up the Dorf-plex, but all of a sudden on the CrapTron, David Davies appears!*
Davies: Greetings, dorf. Seems like the best way to communicate to you is to interrupt your matches. I came back for a few reasons, but the first reason since my return here in EWT is to kick your ass in a one-on-one match. Could you not get it? I attacked you at Crap-a-Mania IV with a lighttube with a message inside, requesting a one-on-one match...guess you didn't read it. As for the TLC Rumble, me and mah boys here just wanted to have some fun, instead of playing video games. Now since times have passed, I think its time we have our meeting, one-on-one in the next EWT PPV, IN A STREET FIGHT!
....I'll let you have some time to think of that. Enjoy your match! Transmission over.
*Dorf, confused what just happened still held onto Casserole throughout the time as all of a sudden, Casserole comes back to life and gets out of the hold with an Inverted Moldbuster! Casserole covers into the 3/4ths Macaroni press!!!*
Referee:
1!
2!
*DORF BARELY KICKS OUT, creating suspense from the crowd.*
*Dorf gets up right away, as does Casserole, but Casserole runs toward dorf of what appears to be the Mystery Ingredient Lariat, but dorf comes out of nowhere to apply a DORFBUSTER!! He then goes outside of the ring and grabs a Steel Table...and the crowd goes wild!! The table is standing in the middle of the ring as dorf drags Pete onto the table. Dorf stands on top of the table. He sets up the crucifix position and CONNECTS WITH A DORF-PLEX TO ALMOST BREAK THE STEEL TABLE!!! The referee calls for the bell!*
Bell: DING, DING, DING!
Winner: by disqualification, PETE CASSEROLE!
*The crowd is going crazy, meanwhile dorf looks at Pete Casserole with a demonic stare....when the crowd died down, dorf grabbed the microphone and had something say....
Dorf: Davies......I ACCEPT!
*drops mic and walks up the aisle to half-cheers, half-boos. Camera fades to black for commercial.*
|
|
|
Post by Mella Drom Attoc on Jun 15, 2007 1:49:26 GMT -5
Some kind of horrible Casio keyboard rendition of the Strike Force theme song starts up, as the crowd turns toward the entrance way, as this next match is about to get under way. Announcer: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Wherever Strike Force was born,at a combined weight of Whatever Strike Force weighed, Jim "Martel" Burbank and Russell "Santana" Watson... the Strike Force Tribute Team! JBL: I know Rick Martel and Tito Santana. These guys aren't even close to be called a knock off. Cole: Why do you say that, John? JBL: They look nothing like the original Strike Force! Cole: So? JBL: So? SO?! Do you even know who Martel and Santana are? Cole: .... JBL: Thought so. The crowd boos, as the true form of this tribute team is revealed, a pair of ugly looking hosses, dressed in some kind of bootleg version of their idol's wrestling gear. They walk down to the ring, waving to the crowd, who give them the most non existent reaction you can imagine. They don't mind too much though, as they simply climb into the ring, all smiles and hopeful to entertain the crowd. It looks like though, that may not be possible... as suddenly, the lights lower, as an Instrumental version of Meatloaf's "I Would Do Anything For Love" begins, Lull rising up once again from the bottom of the stage, as from the back, Zed Pine and a random camera guy with a camcorder run out emerge, watching on in awe, as the crowd boos lightly at Lull's presence. Lull ignores this though, lifting a microphone to his lips, as he begins singing along. Cole: Oh no! Not more singing! JBL: You shut up, Cole! We are about to be graced with the voice of an angel. Cole: Oh come on. JBL: Silence, you uncultured peasant! Lull: And I would do anything for love, I'd run right into hell and back I would do anything for love, I'll never lie to you and that's a fact But I'll never forget the way you feel right now, oh no, no way And I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, I won't do that Anything for love, oh I would do anything for love I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, oh I won't do that
Some days it don't come easy, and some days it don't come hard Some days it don't come at all, and these are the days that never end Some nights you're breathing fire, and some nights you're carved in ice Some nights you're like nothing I've ever seen before or will again
Maybe I'm crazy, but it's crazy and it's true I know you can save me, no one else can save me now but you
As long as the planets are turning, as long as the stars are burning As long as your dreams are coming true, you better believe it
That I would do anything for love, and I'll be there til the final act I would do anything for love, and I'll take a vow and seal a pact
But I'll never forgive myself if we don't go all the way tonight And I would do anything for love, oh I would do anything for love Oh I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, no I won't do that
I would do anything for love, anything you've been dreaming of But I just won't do that (repeats 3x)
(Solo)
Some days I pray for silence, and somedays I pray for soul Some days I just pray to the God of Sex and Drums and Rock 'N Roll Some nights I lose the feeling, and some nights I lose control Some nights I just lose it all when I watch you dance and the thunder rolls
Maybe I'm lonely and that's all I'm qualified to be There's just one and only, the one and only promise I can keep
As long as the wheels are turning, as long as the fires are burning As long as your prayers are coming true, you better believe it
That I would do anything for love, and you know it's true and that's a fact I would do anything for love, and there'll never be no turning back
But I'll never do it better than I do it with you, so long, so long And I would do anything for love, oh I would do anything for love I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, no no no I won't do that
I would do anything for love, anything you've been dreaming of But I just won't do that (repeats 7x)
But I'll never stop dreaming of you every night of my life, no way
And I would do anything for love, oh I would do anything for love I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, no I won't do that
Will you raise me up, will you help me down? Will you get me right out of this Godforsaken town? Will you make it all a little less cold?
I can do that! I can do that!
Will you hold me sacred? Will you hold me tight? Can you colorize my life, I'm so sick of black and white? Can you make it all a little less old?
I can do that! Oh oh, now I can do that!
Will you make me some magic, with your own two hands? Can you build an emerald city with these grains of sand? Can you give me something I can take home?
I can do that! Oh oh now, I can do that!
Will you cater to every fantasy I got? Will ya hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot? Will you take me places I've never known?
I can do that! Oh oh now, I can do that!
After a while you'll forget everything It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling And you'll see that it's time to move on
I won't do that! No I won't do that!
I know the territory, I've been around It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down And sooner or later, you'll be screwing around
I won't do that! No I won't do that!
Anything for love, oh I would do anything for love I would do anything for love, but I won't do that, no I won't do that
The crowd seems to have almost fallen asleep, as they listen to Lull drone on and on, Zed clapping wildly for this musical star, as Lull smiles a million dollar smile, taking a bow, then holding his hand out to the side. Cole: Finally it's over! JBL: That was beautiful. Cole: Oh come on! JBL: You like the Miz. Your opinion doesn't matter. Announcer: Erm... introducing first, accompanied by Zed Pine and some... Camera man, from Off Broadway, weighing in at 207 pounds... Lull Songstra! Suddenly, this little ditty pumps out of the Toomitron as Tim Cruis bursts out from the back, looking quite sure of himself as he struts down the rampway, joining Lull's side and nodding, as Zed and the camera guy follow them both down the rampway, an extravagant golden pyro spraying from the sides of the ramp as they move further down it, Lull blowing kisses to his adoring public, who just glare back. The two enter the ring. Cole: These kiss ups aren't winning the crowd over... JBL: Your kissing up every week doesn't win the crowd over! These guys will be great, trust me! Announcer: And his tag team partner, also accompanied by Zed Pine and the camera guy, from the Silver Screen, weighing in at 264 pounds, Tim Cruis! The Strike Force Tribute Team looks at their opponents, a bit annoyed at their ridiculously extravagant entrances, as the two look at each other, Cruis patting Lull on the back, letting him start off first, as he exits to the ring apron, Burbank starting for his own. Burbank circles the ring a bit, glaring and charging right at Lull, who shows some impressive athleticism, leaping right over him! Lull: HA YOU naïve, YOU ARE TOO SLOW FOR ME!Burbank comes back off the ropes, looking for a clothesline, which Lull counters with a Drop Toe Hold. He floats over, now clinching on a side headlock, taking Burbank into a headlock take-down, the kipping up, bowing to the crowd, who boos in response. He smiles, walking over and patting Burbank's head softly, pulling him up again by the neck and charging, hitting him with a running bulldog! Lull: My scene is near it's end... EXIT STAGE RIGHT AND ENTER MY FRIEND!He pops up and quickly tags in Cruis, who climbs in, grabbing Lull by a foot, then giving him an assisted moonsault onto the downed opponent, who groans, rolling a bit on the mat. Lull exits as Cruis pulls his opponent up, hoisting him into a Brainbuster! He nods, simply making the cover. 1...2.. Cole: This could be it! JBL: You say that every pin attempt. Burbank kicks out. Cruis simply pulls him back up, whipping him off the ropes, then catching him with a powerful hip toss, sending him sailing. He nods, walking over and tagging Lull back in, then sending him off the ropes, catching him too as he comes back with a hiptoss, Lull turning it into a leg drop across the neck! Lull: Snap your fingers, break your neck.. I'm going to beat you back to heck! He quickly pops up as Russell argues with the referee on the outside. Cruis exits the ring again, as Lull pulls Burbank back up, leaping for a jumping neckbreaker, Burbank countering and throwing him off! He quickly runs over, tagging in Watson, who steps over the top rope into the ring. He charges, taking a rising Lull down with a clothesline! Lull: I'M NOT DONE YET!Lull quickly gets back up, walking right into a big boot, taking him back down. Lull: I'm not done yet....Russel waves to the crowd, before pulling Songstra up, then hitting him with a scoop slam. Lull: ....done ....yet....Zed looks on in horror at this sight, yelling for Lull to fight it.Lull manages to slowly rise up, as Russel grabs him, dropping him with a sidewalk slam! Lull: I'M DONE!He then gets back, walking over and tagging in Burbank, who enters into the ring, the two charging and taking Lull down once again, with a double clothesline! Lull groans, slowly rising up as the two leap up, then hit a pair of the worst dropkicks ever performed, barely taking Lull down. Burbank quickly makes a cover of his own. 1....2.... Cole: THIS COULD BE IT! JBL: STOP SAYING THAT! Lull kicks out this time. Lull: I'VE NOT BEEN DEFEATED YET!Burbank quickly pulls him back up to his feet, hitting a few punches, before grabbing and pulling him up for a powerbomb. Lull however reaches down, giving a quick rake of the eyes, before following with a hurracanrana, sending Burbank sailing! He groans, looking on with anger at Burbank, who slowly rises back up, Songstra charging and taking him down with a Leg Lariat, which he calls "It's All The Same" Burbank goes back down as Lull runs over, tagging in Cruis. Lull: I'm done!He quickly enters the ring, delivering a series of stomps to the downed opponent, before pulling him up, clinching on a simple sleeper. Burbank groans, starting to succumb to the effects as Cruis clinches in it, dropping down and holding him there, trying to take him out with this basic submission. Burbank groans, struggling to escape, but to no avail it seems, as he slowly goes under. The referee runs over, making sure to check, raising the arm a few times, the first two times... no response of course. He raises it a third time... Cole: THIS COULD BE- JBL: WILL YOU STOP ALREADY?! and Burbank of course stops it from dropping! Cruis looks on in horror, immediately clinching the move on even tighter, but Burbank struggles to a vertical base, elbowing his way out of the move. Cruis quickly runs over, tagging in Lull as Burbank runs over to tag his own partner, reaching him before Lull can do anything about it! Watson charges once again into the ring, charging again at Lull for a clothesline, which takes him down again. Lull: Ouuuuuuch....Cruis looks to enter, but shakes his head, simply watching, sure Lull can handle this. Lull meanwhile, rises back up, Watson hoisting him up high, then hitting a Spinebuster! He smiles wide, As he waits for Lull to rise up, then backing up and bouncing off the ropes, going for a Santana flying forearm, only to fail miserable, landing flat on his face! Burbank looks on in horror, quickly charging into the ring, only for Lull to sidestep and fling him right into Cruis, who goes flying off to the mat! The referee quickly looks to the outside to check on Cruis, as suddenly... the CAMERAMAN slides into the ring, charging and taking down Burbank as he turns around with a camcorder to the face! Burbank groans, clutching his face and rolling out of the ring, as Lull watches, not seeming to care. He walks over to a downed Watson, performing a Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Do on his prone body! He then bows, before climbing onto the top turnbuckle, a miraculously recovered Cruis rises up, quickly charging into the ring, hoisting Watson onto his shoulders as he hits a Reverse Death Valley Driver, just as Lull leaps off and hits an amazing shooting star elbow drop that he calls the Encore, completing this finisher known as Fifteen Seconds of Pain! Watson groans as Lull makes the cover. 1....2.... Cole: THIS COULD BE- JBL: THAT'S IT! COME HERE! I'M GOING TO CLOTHESLINE YOU TO HELL! Cole: OH MY! 3! This debacle is most certainly over. Announcer: Here are your winners... Lull Songstra and Tim Cruis! Tim hoists Lull onto his shoulders as they celebrate this cheap win, to the delight of nobody, other then the camera guy and Zed of course, the latter clapping wildly, as well as whistling for his two stars outstanding performance. Burbank meanwhile slowly rises up to his feet, still a bit shaken by the earlier sneak attack, Tim and Lull quickly exiting the ring, as we fade to commercial.
|
|
Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
|
Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Jun 15, 2007 4:06:59 GMT -5
Finkel: The following match is scheduled for ONE FALL... * “Young, Dumb, & Ugly” by Weird Al begins to play over the speakers. * *Jobby erupts from of the curtains, repeatedly points at different crowd members as he runs from the right to the left side of the stage. At the 0:27, he runs back in the middle of the ramp and at the 0:38 Axel comes out from the EWT curtain. He looks very uncertain about his condition but seems to be over the pop rocks. Jobby holds his hand out, while Axel glares at him.* Finkel: Representing EWT... From Jobstown, NJ & Modesto, CA respectively... Weighting in at 498... "The Wrestle Posse"! Tenacious J! *Axel leans in like Jobby, grabs his hand, and points at Jobby.* Finkel: And A! *Jobby give a huge smile before giving a pair of thumbs up. Jobby begins to walk down the ramp, while Axel is halted at the top of the ramp. Jobby runs around the center of the ramp in a circle. As he runs from side to side to high five fans, Axel walks fast to catch up. Axel gives a slow spin as he catches up with Jobby before climbing the steps. He walks through the ropes and climbs the nearest turnbuckle, giving little cheers as the crowd loves Jobby's hyper version of the Truffle Shuffle. Axel waves off the crowd, getting a decent amount of crowd members doing it back to him. He steps down just as Jobby rolls into the ring then proceeds to disrobe from his jacket. Jobby energetically points at Axel with both hands as Axel slowly reaches up for his shades. Axel pulls them off to a bit of fanfare then hands them off. Axel looks towards the ramp with some concern, probably the odd opponents of everyone else has him spooked. The music ends.* Finkel: And their opponents... * A chorus of the words "WE ARE WE ARE, THE ORLANDO THUNDER! THAT'S OUR TAG NAME!" plays.* Finkel: Representing the New Hampshire Wrestling Academy... From Orlando! Weighing in at 500 lbs! #1 and #2... THE ORLANDO THUNDER! *The music plays on for a minute with nothing going on. Axel tries warming up as Jobby looks to the crowd waving. The music stops. Axel looks over at the referee, who shrugs.* * A chorus of the words "WE ARE WE ARE, THE ORLANDO THUNDER! THAT'S OUR TAG NAME!" plays.* Finkel: Representing the New Hampshire Wrestling Academy... From Orlando! Weighing in at 500 lbs! #1 and #2... THE ORLANDO THUNDER! *The music plays on for a minute with nothing going on. Axel looks around, having an odd feeling of dega-vu as Jobby continues to wave. The music stops. Axel looks over at the Fink, who shrugs.* * A chorus of the words "WE ARE WE ARE, THE ORLANDO THUNDER! THAT'S OUR TAG NAME!" plays.* Finkel: Representing the New Hampshire Wrestling Academy... From Orlando! Weighing in at 500 lbs! #1 and #2... THE ORLANDO THUNDER! *The music plays on for a minute with nothing going on. Axel now looks really confused as Jobby waves more. The music stops. Axel looks over at Jobby, who waves back.* * A chorus of the words "WE ARE WE ARE, THE ORLANDO THUNDER! THAT'S OUR TAG NAME!" plays.* Finkel: Representing the New Hampshire Wrestling Academy... From Orlando! Weighing in at 500 lbs! #1 and #2... THE ORLANDO THUNDER! *The music plays on for a minute with nothing going on. Axel now is just getting more and more pissed while Jobby still waves to the crowd. The music stops. Axel looks over at the announcer table that has "Be back in five minutes sign on it".* * A chorus of the words "WE ARE WE ARE, THE ORLANDO THUNDER! THAT'S OUR TAG NAME!" plays.* Finkel: Representing the New Hampshire Wrestling Academy... From Orlando! Weighing in at 500 lbs! #1 and #2... THE ORLANDO THUNDER! *The music plays on for a minute with nothing going o-* Axel: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! *A crew member runs out from the back and enters the ring to talk to the Fink.* Finkel: I'm sorry to report that the Orlando Thunder were delayed in Orlando due to a thunderstorm. So the winners, by default... The Wrestle Posse! Axel: WHAT?! *To the crew member.* WHY DID YOU WAIT SO LONG TO TELL US?! Crew: I thought that they would be able to make it if I stalled. Axel: DO YOU KNOW HOW FAR FLORIDA IS FROM HERE?! Crew: Not really, it's never really explained. Axel: ...Oh yeah. *pause* Crew: ...but I could have come out earlier. *pause* Axel: No. No. No. You have a point there. Jobby: So wait... You are letting him get off? Axel: Yes, why? Jobby: Well, he made you look like a fool on live tv. *pause* Axel: ...Oh yeah. *Axel hits an Axe Handle on the crew member out of nowhere.* Axel: There... I'm cool now. *Before this WTF moment could go on further, a fade to commercial occurs.*
|
|
Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
|
Post by Maelstrom on Jun 15, 2007 7:32:10 GMT -5
Back at ringisde and Josh Matthews is alongside Matt Striker on the commentary tableJOSH: Hello everyone I'm Josh Matthews and alongide me this week is Matt Striker from ECW. MATT STRIKER: Thank you Josh, i'd just like to say that I hope those listening can learn from a true expert such as I myself. Before anymore can be said the lights dim around the arena and smoke rises from the stage. 'Apocalypse Please' by Muse begins to play.ANNOUNCER: The following match is for one fall, introducing first from the Aquarium, he wieghs inat around 290lbs ... he is ... The smoke rises and explodes in a flurry of pyrotechnics and from under the clouds walks Maelstrom bathed in blue light.ANNOUNCER: Maelstrom! The crowd shouts there feelings towards the sea menace, but Maelstrom couldn't care less as he walks to the ring his hair dripping with water. He walks the steps and enters the ring the crowd booing loudly.ANNOUNCER: His opponent ... The lights switch to a horrible orange, pink and blue flicker as this song plays much to the amusement of the audience but not MaelstromANNOUNCER: hailing from the icy tundra of north canada, he weighs in at around 350lbs ... he is Bi Polar Bear! Out from the back walks on all fours Bi Polar Bear who is obviously very excited to be here. He walks along and occasionally gets up on two feet to growl with the kids in the front row.
JOSH: Well here is the Bi Polar Bear, we know he met Maelstrom earlier today but they didn't really hit it off.
STRIKER: Of course they didn't, as your teacher I should point out Josh that Bi Polar Bear stand for everything that is wrong with society today!
JOSH: Really? I didn't know polar bears were a big problem.
STRIKER: It's Pink and Blue Josh!!
As the commentators argue Bi Polar Bears blue and pink bear suit is getting lots of odd looks by the more hardcore wrestling fans. However that isn't important as we can see on his face-painted face that he is having a wonderful time as he heads to the ring. He rolls in and starts walking around on all fours growling. Maelstrom just leans back in his corner waiting for the bell.
STRIKER: You don't think he wrestles like that do you?
JOSH: How should I know, I 've never seen him before.
The Bell Rings
Maelstrom approaches Bi Polar Bear with pain in mind, but Bi Polar Bear is still on all fours walking around the ring. Maelstrom unable to tie up goes for what he does best pounding on vitims who step in the ring with him. Bi Polar Bear though avoids the first few blows by being surprisingly nimble. Maelstrom turns to get a better shot but suddenly Bi Polar Bear leaps to two feet and applies a headlock from the front!
STRIKER: There it is! I got some information that tells me this is Bi Polar Bear's finisher. The Bearlock is locked on!!
JOSH: A headlock? That's this guys big match winning move?
In the ring and Maelstrom is looking far from finished as he just stands there with Bi Polar Bear applying his bearlock on him. Bi Polar Bear convinced he has the match in the bag has a big smile on his painted face and playfully growls with his free hand. The face of Maelstrom tells a story that starts with 'What the hell?'
The crowd watch in mild amusment
In doing his move Bi Polar Bear's feet have left the ground as Maelstrom is alot taller than him. Maelstrom fed up of this poor excuse for wrestling grabs Bi Polar Bear's legs and using his strength slams Bi Polar Bear into the canvas with a modified spinebuster from a standing position. Bi Polar Bear doesn't have a clue what happened as he is hoisted up over Maelstrom's shoulders and the world begins to spin. Then just as suddenly as the spinning started Bi Polar Bear plummets back first into the cold hard ring floor.
JOSH: The Whirlpool finds the mark!
The referee makes the count ...
1,2,3.
Bell Rings
ANNOUNCER: Here is your winner ... Maelstrom!
As 'Apocalypse Please' plays and the crowd boos Maelstrom hurls Bi Polar Bear out of the ring. He then climbs out of the ring and walks to the announcing table, Maelstrom takes Matt Striker's microphone (there was some protest but a hard right from Maelstrom soon ended the teacher's opinion) and then walks back into the ring.
MAELSTROM: The rushing water of the tide may have turned these past weeks here in the EWT, but one thing remains true and that is my dominance of this ring.
The crowd boos
MAELSTROM: Mike Ragnal! What hangs around your waist is mine! That EWT Heavyweight Title only left me thanks to the greatest predator known to man, A Great White Shark! Now I want it back!
Maelstrom grabs the camera so that his face is almost the only thing you can see in the picture
MAELSTROM: You want some competition, little man? ... I'll give you competiton, Mike Ragnal I'll give you pain, suffering and the urge to never go near the water again!
MAelstrom leaves the ring and heads up the ram, he stops at the top of the stage.
MAELSTROM: Mike Ragnal! The Tide Will Turn!
A huge blue cloud explodes as 'Apocalypse Pelase' plays. As it clears Maelstrom has gone.
JOSH: Maelstrom has made his intentions clear, Mike Ragnal wanted soemone to stand up, but I don't think he quite expected this!
(fade to black)
|
|
|
Post by raftshack on Jun 15, 2007 7:52:08 GMT -5
As we cut back from commercial, we hear what sounds like a mix of Tenacious D's Karate and the Original Final Fantasy Battle theme starts up, as the crowd looks towards the entrance way rather confused, until suddenly, two guys walk out, one of them donning some kind of red robe and carrying an obviously fake staff. bearing a strange resemblance to Jack Black, next to him another guy wearing fake armor, a cape, and some kind of also fake helmet, holding a plastic sword, and bearing a resemblance to Kyle Gass step out, both of them wearing plastic beaks on their faces. From behind the two, the Toomitron screen turns a deep blue, as text starts to appear on it... the crowd looking in... total confusion. Toomitron?: Unknown Man: "Remember the training... Carlos....* Carlos: "Okay Beezelbub." Beezelbub: "Remember the crotch push ups. Remember the Power Baseball Slide. FOR THEY WILL HELP US BECOME THE BEST TAG TEAM OF HEROES IN THE WORLD!" Carlos: "I...don't know..." Beezelbub: "GOD DAMN IT Carlos WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SHOOT ME DOWN!?" Carlos: "Uh..." Beezelbub: "That's it! You're fired from the hero team." Carlos: "Oh, that's not necessary." Beezelbub: "What?" Carlos: "I quit." Beezelbub: "What?!" Carlos: "I quit" The mage guy turns around and walks off backstage, as it seems that neither of them has said a damn thing during this whole Toomitron text thing. The other guy sort of watches, not doing much else. About two seconds later, the apparent Carlos walks back out Toomitron: Carlos: "I'm sorry dude, I totally missed you." Beezelbub: "I missed you too." Carlos: "As long as we are wrestlers in the same contract, we'll always be friends!" Beezelbub: "Totally!" Carlos: "Power hug?" Beezelbub: "Power hug!" The two power hug, then quickly break away walking down toward the ring. Most people in the crowd have either left to take a bathroom break or are rubbing their eyes in total silence at this group. Announcer: Erm... the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... Suddenly, a man dressed in some kind of rubber monster mask jumps out, as the two immediately jump at each others side, staring motionlessly at this monster. The monster walks over, swinging a claw at them, then walking back to where it was standing. Carlos walks forward and hits it with his staff, then also walks back to his side, as Beezelbub also does so, only with his sword. After about a minute of this stupid exchange, the random man apparently keels over, as these two do some kind of victory dance... some kind of horrible victory dance. They then resume walking to the ring. Announcer: ... er, as I was saying, Introducing first, from the Land of Awesomnia, weighing in at ... Level 100?! Carlos and Beezelbub, the Puffins of Destiny! These two apparent... whatevers enter the ring, where the referee walks over, staring at them quite... confused. He takes their weapons, then tosses them outside the ring, giving them a stern talking to. They don't seem to care though, as suddenly a funky piano song starts up for some reason This wierd ol tune starts up as their opponent trudge from out of the back. Announcer: And the opponents, from Foreign Alien Island, at a combined weight of... a ton, Mr. Mischief and Mr. Shenanigans! The still costumed fools usually known as Raft Shack stomp down toward the ring, quickly making their way inside, as they look across the ring now at their opponents, who are once again standing beside each other like earlier. The referee walks over, trying to push one of them out of the ring, but they don't seem to budge. He growls, pushing harder, both men remaining firmly planted. The referee throws his hands up in frustration, walking over and whispering something to the announcer, who looks over and shrugs. Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen... this match has just been made into a Texas Tornado style Tag Team Match! The two bizarre teams look at each other and nod, as the bell rings, "Mischief and Shenanigans" both eying each other, then nodding wildly, also standing at each others sides, copying their opponent's stance. Carlos suddenly walks over, grabbing and hitting Shenanigans with a Vertical Suplex, before walking back to Beezelbub's side! Shenanigans rises back up, groaning slightly, as Bub know walks over, hitting Shenanigans with a DDT! He too walks back to where he was, as Carlos walks forward again, pulling Shenanigans up, whipping him off the ropes, then Beezelbub walking over and... getting a headbutt from Mischief, sending him stumbling back to his side. Mischief cackles, walking over and giving Bub a series of throat thrusts, sending him stumbling back into the turnbuckle, as Shenanigans follows with a big boot to Carlos as he comes back! Carlos slowly rises up, just in time to receive a standing clothesline, sending him back down, as Shenanigans gives him some elevator shoe stomps, Carlos rolling away now. as meanwhile Mischief grabs Beezelbub's head, giving another nasty headbutt to the skull, then backing up, wobbling into him with his fat suited body! Beez stumbles out of the corner, grasping his chest, as Mischief gives him a double axe handle to the back of the head! Bub goes down, as Shenanigans meanwhile unleashes some stiff fists, sending Carlos stumbling back against the ropes. He simply walks over, giving him some clubs to the back, hunching his opponent over, then driving a knee right into his face! Carlos groaning and falling face first to the mat. Shenanigans walking over to assist Mischief, as they both grab and whip Beezelbub to the opposite turnbuckle, Shenanigans then whipping Mischief toward, sending him crashing into Bub, who groans, falling forward to the mat. Shenanigans leans down, applying a blatant choke, as he cackles again, the referee running over and exercises his five count, as Shenanigans walks over, pulling Carlos up and attempts to lift him up for a Ganzo Bomb! He manages to hit it, then reaching over, clutching at the back, as he makes a cover, while Mischief breaks his illegal hold. 1...2.... Carlos manages to kick out. Shennani growls, pulling him up by the head and delivering a few more clubbing blows to the back, before grabbing and turning him around, looking for a pump-handle slam, which Carlos slips out of, immediately walking over to where he was standing before, reaching into his pocket and drinking water from a oddly shaped bottle, suddenly springing back to life and walking briskly over, giving Shenanigans a chop to the throat, walking back, then forward and hitting another, back and forth for one more! Shenanigans growls, clutching the throat slightly, as Carlos walks over again, only to get an attempted pie-face from Shenanigan's rather tiny hand, who just kind of stares, pulling it off and hitting another chop! Meanwhile, Mischief grabs Beezelbub, hoisting him up and hitting a scoop slam! He then runs off the ropes, coming back and hitting a big splash! 1....2..... Beezelbub gets a shoulder up. Mischief grins maniacally, as he stands up, smacking his ass, then sitting down, only for Bub to roll out of the way, also walking over to where he was, then walking, soon running and hitting a running knee to the face of Bub who falls back! He then walks over, reaching into his pocket, only to find nothing. He looks on in horror, as the Toomitron lights up with that blue window and white text again! Toomitron: Beezelbub: Damn it Carlos, I told you to pack extra potions! Carlos groans, looking back over and walking back to Beezelbub's side. Toomitron: Carlos: I swear a packed a bunch of em. I bet you're just getting pissed so you can steal one of mine. Beezelbub: No way... you purposely took em all for yourself. You're the worst tag team hero... Mischief and Shenanigans cut off this completely ridiculous conversation, walking over and beginning to punch the living daylights of both the "heroes" sending them stumbling back against the ropes. They then both whip them off, then catching them as they come back, as Shenanigans hits a... particularly weak looking HFD, while Mischief catches and attempts to apply a The Bayanhongor Fracture Clasp! Both men groan in pain as they suffer these two moves, Shenanigans covering Carlos for the pin. 1....2.... 3! Yes, "Mischief and Shenanigans" have won using Big and Bad's own finishers! Announcer: Here are your winners.... Big and Bad... I mean... Mr Mischief and Mr Shenanigans! The two look at each other and nod, quickly exiting the ring, as Shenanigans clutches his back further, while Shenanigans eagerly rubs his belly. Meanwhile, Carlos and Beezelbub rise back up, looking at each other, as the Toomitron lights up AGAIN. Toomitron: Carlos: "Dude that was awesome." Beezelbub: "Awesome compared to bullcrap! We lost... How else will be ever become a legend in this business like Doink the Clown, Barry Horowitz, or the Bushwackers!" Carlos: "Oh..." Beezelbub: "Dude, I'm sorry... Power Hug?" Carlos: "Power Hug!" The two hug once again, the ring as well, as this completely ridiculous duo exits the ring as we fade to commercial.
|
|