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Post by Toom E. Guci on Feb 8, 2008 17:35:05 GMT -5
Good evening & welcome to the 5th Whenever We Feel Like It Scammy Awards. We are honored to present these awards to you, the viewers of EWT, tonight. After much deliburation, the nominees have been chosen from those you nominated & the winners will be announced right here, right now. But please...hold your speeches to the very end, that way we do not have to interupt your speech to present the next award. Jack Nicholson didn't like it, so neither would you. And now, let's begin: Best Gimmick
The nominees are Team Raft-shack Ferhago Crow Mahavir Abha Crauswell
And the winner is Team Raft-shack
Best Storyline
The nominees are The Girl Next Door Division Revival Cassinova & BR Juri Sadamoto Elementacidal Mike Ragnal Cassinova & Crauswell
And the winner is Cassinova & BR Juri Sadamoto
Best Celebrity Appearance
And the nominees are Jerry Springer the cast of Sesame Street Grover Mahavir Abha & Jasmyne
And the winner is Grover
Worst Celebrity Appearance
And the nominees are The Whammy The cast of High School Musical Tim Cruis Coming Attraction productions
And the winners are the cast of High School Musical
Best Musical Appearance
And the nominees are Lily-Rose Anna Tsuchiya Kid 'n' Play Bloodhound Gang
And the winner is Lily-Rose
Worst Musical Appearance
And the nominees are Lull Songstra cast of High School Musical Linkin Park Black Sabbath
and the winner is Lull Songstra
Best Real World Wrestler Appearance
And the nominees are Demolition Dusty Rhodes Umaga Mick Foley
And the winner is Demolition
Worst Real World Wrestler Appearance
And the nominees are Bull Buchanan Ashley Trish Stratus Mankind
And the winner is Trish Stratus
Best Promo
And the nominees are Chance Confidence Synthy & Madison Mike Ragnal Cassinova
And the winner is Cassinova
Best Debut
And the nominees are TJT Sigma "GQ" Williams Ronnie Cordova Ferhago Crow
And the winner is Ferhago Crow
Best EWT Return
And the nominees are Spaz Mike Ragnal Limey Chance Confidence
And the winner is Limey
Best Injury
And the nominees are
Moxie Lull Songstra Jobby's leg injury Maelstrom eaten by a shark
And the winner is Jobby's leg injury
Best Tag Team
And the nominees are Team Raft-shack TJT Wrestle Posse Team ireland
And the winner is TJT
Best Manager
And the nominees are Terrina Coach O'Hare PsyToni Tenille Dave Davies
And the winner is Coach O'Hare
Best Couple
And the nominees are Lliam O'Neil & Tiffany Alexa & Andy Duke Mahavir Abha & Jasmyne Cassinova & BR Juri Sadamoto
And the winners are Mahavir Abha & jasmyne
Best EWT Champion
And the nominees are Mike Ragnal Cassinova Joe One Synthy
And the winner is Sythny
Best Match
And the nominees are Leviathon Chamber Spaz versus Ratings @ Crap-a-mania !!!! Tag Team Turmoil @ Old School Synthy versus Madison @ Skies the Limit II
And the winner is The Tag Team Turmoil @ Old School
Best Fued
And the nominees are Mike Ragnal versus Joe One TJT versus Wrestle Posse Toom E Dangerously versus dorf Cassinova versus Crauswell
And the winner is Cassinova versus Crauswell
Best Pay Per View
And the nominees are Crap-a-mania !!!! The Skies the Limit II Old School Season's Beatings
And the winner is Crap-a-mania !!!!
Best Pay Per View Line Up
And the nominees are Season's Beatings Dead Man Walking Crap-a-mania !!!! Saturday Night Special
And the winner is Crap-a-mania !!!!
Best Pay Per View Name
And the nominees are At the Soundless Dawn March 4th, 2007 Dead Man Walking Old School
And the winner is March 4th, 2007
Best Booker
And the nominees are Oceanic Toom E dangerously dorf Curly Long
And the winner is Oceanic
Best Wrestling Spoof
And the nominees are Daryl Dragon Mella Dramatic Tiffany PsyToni Tenille
And the winner is Tiffany
Best Wrestling Name
And the nominees are Chance Confidence Marcus Trunk The Bad Man Simon Scurvy
And the winner is Chance Confidence
Best Male Superstar
And the nominees are Maelstrom Ultimo Choculo Spyke Johanson Cassinova
And the winner is Cassinova
Best Female Superstar
And the nominees are Mystery oceanic BR Juri Sadamoto Synthy
And the winner is BR Juri Sadamoto
Superstar We Miss the Most
And the nominees are HeartBreak Hitman Brett Micheals Limey Spyke Johanson Draugr
And the winner is Spyke Johanson
Triple H Hog the Spotlight Award
And the nominees are Minipax Ratings (Un)Great Khali Boku
And the winner is (Un)Great Khali
Hulk Hogan Real American Award
And the nominees are Team Ireland Boku Andy Duke Simon Scurvy
And the winner is Boku
Jeff Jarrett Sock Puppet Award
And the nominees are Redface Rodgers Merc Joe One Jack Jupiter
And the winner is Redface Rodgers And now ladies & gentlemen, I present to you...the Founding Father of EWT, Toomiguci. *Toomiguci approaches.* Thank you. I am honored to present the Toomiguci Vanguard Award to somebody truly deserving. This is a man who was given the ball in a major storyline without being here & was a good sport throughout the whole event. He's a man who was willing to make a 180 degree turn from his character & look like an idiot, when in reality he's a very intelligent man. Fans, posters, ladies & gentlemen...the recipient of the Toomiguci Vanguard Award is...dorf!!!!
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Post by thecursedone on Feb 8, 2008 21:34:15 GMT -5
*The lights instantly go black leaving nothing to see. Suddenly a spotlight shines down upon the podium where the award for Best Debut rests. A swirl of fog passes through the light from the back and loud footsteps are heard. As they get closer to the light, the spotlight begins to shrink until there is just a small focus upon the award. The footstep stops and a familiar looking hand reaches out from the darkness. It grips the award and pulls it into the darkness slowly. As soon as the award disappears into darkness, the lights return and the stage looks bare.*
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Post by raftshack on Feb 9, 2008 22:55:55 GMT -5
Apache is heard in the background, as Team Raft Shack hobble up onto the stage, both of them dressed in neon colored tuxedos of some horrible design, as they jump up and down all around the stage. They run up the podium, as Zeleke grabs the Scammy, grinning and stuffing it into his pants, to quite a few odd looks.
Faboon: Oh gracious greetings to all the benfacting few that have plopped this trinket upon our personings! We spit our praisings of absolutelish enbodiment of awesomenicity... BECAUSE YOU WERE THE BEING THAT CREATED THIS PARADOXIUM IN AWARD OBTAINMENT!
Faboon cartwheels away from the stage, as Zeleke reaches down, pulling out a list.
Zeleke: I shall be thankful of these following fellowers...
He unrolls a ridiculously long looking list in a comical fashion, which is written on toilet paper of course. The audience can be heard groaning somewhat, as he clears his throat, as he hops up and straddles this podium, beginning to read.
Zeleke: I shall thank... THE VOLCANOES! I also will thank, the game of Parcheesi. On top of that... I thank my creators... who spawned my lovably lucious self. I also thank, the fried okra, old folks, gardening magazines... the seedling samples are delicious! I also thank the ghetto, gay dolphins, my nose, The Ultimate Lawyer, that... other guy who teams with my persona, the Virtual Boy, Upper Ten, my other nose, tabasco sauce, my fellow acrobatic swine, Birkenstocks, Jon tolo, Hard hats...
The stage crew immediately runs onto the stage, prying Zeleke off the podium with a bit of effort, than tossing him aside, onto another part of the stage, as they immediately cut his mike, Faboon shaking his head and cackling at his ludicrous chum.
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Post by brokenrose on Feb 10, 2008 20:50:01 GMT -5
* When I was darkness at that time Trembling lips In the corner of my room I cry The more I struggle, the more these wounds stab me That broken promise hurt me
Nobody can save me God, I ask just one thing Stop this love of mine that's tearing me up
I need your love. I'm a broken rose The sadness of your song falls down on me My life is lonely and I've nowhere to go I need your love. I'm a broken rose Oh baby, help me from frozen pain With your smile, your eyes And sing me, just for me
I wanna need your love... I'm a broken rose I wanna need your love...
When you are with me at that time I chased after your shadow Running barefoot, stop me The more I try to shut it away, the more twisted this love gets Kiss me softly and tenderly
Nobody can save me Like a frozen rose I want to sleep tenderly, my tears
I need your love. I'm a broken rose. The sadness in my soul withers and falls I'm a little girl, lonely and crumbling I need your love. I'm a broken rose Oh baby, help me from frozen pain With your smile, your eyes And sing me, just for me
I wanna need your love... I'm a broken rose I wanna need your love...
I need your love. I'm a broken rose The sadness of your song falls down on me My life is lonely and I've nowhere to go I need your love. I'm a broken rose Oh baby, help me from frozen pain With your smile, your eyes And sing me, just for me
I wanna need your love... I'm a broken rose I wanna need your love.. * *From the one of the stage exits comes BR Juri Sadamoto, clad in her simple tank top & jeans along with a black beanie. She walks over the podium where the best storyline award sits. She smiles, points at her belt resting snuggly around her waist, and grabs the award. Immediate she smashes it against the edge of the podium until there are two pieces. She picks up the smaller piece, the bottom, and holds it up high. Then she turns and walks away.*
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Post by chanceconfidence on Feb 13, 2008 16:00:14 GMT -5
Direction Perfection picks up in the background, as the audience gives quite a few dirty looks, except a certain group of course, as Chance Confidence walks up onto the stage, dressed in an extravagant silver tuxedo, with an emerald green undershirt and brown Italian leather loafers. He's sporting a pair of blue tinted shades on the bridges of his nose, his hair looking nice and neat in a pony tail as per usual, as he steps up to the podium, shooting a glance at the still ranting Zeleke, rather annoyed, as he turns to the podium, snatching up his award.
Chance: Folks... I'll keep this one short and sweet... I'm a divine entity and I derserve pretty much everyone of these awards here. The rest of you aren't even fit to get one of those participation trophies one in school because their idiotic teacher wants everybody to feel special. Well tough, none of you are special... at least in the good sort of way. You could only dream of being even an iota near my unsurpassed greatness.
The dirty looks grow even dirtier it seems, as Chance grins to himself, enjoying these verbal bashings.
Chance: With that said, I will say thanks to all of the suck ups who netted me this trophy... I consider each and everyone of you one level above the rest of these piles of putrid vomit... so you'd probably be more like... puddles of disgusting mud or something of the like. I take pride in my name being so damn excellent and it's good that a few of you peons realized that as well. So in closing, thanks for the accolades. I'll tape this one to my refridgerator or something.
He heads off the stage abruptly, completely exitting the room like the jerk he is, but not before shoving Zeleke off the stage to the floor, who continues reading his thank you list.
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Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
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Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Feb 14, 2008 5:54:30 GMT -5
*The lights go out as the Toomitron comes to life. It begins to play an all too familiar scene.* *There is a slight bit of dead air before...* * “Dare To Be Stupid” Plays. * *Within seconds of the theme being played, out comes the hyperactive 80s fan on crutches. Amazing he has dressed up for this situation. But sadly it's in a suit that matches his ring attire. His whole clown barf ensemble is completed with a neon rainbow cast on his leg. From the way he appears, you wouldn't guess he's coming out to accept a best injury award... He looks like he's going to be handled the keys to a vault containing ever single commercial created in the 80s. He approaches the podium quickly and grabs the award.* Jobby: Thank you everyone for this chance to appear on EWT programming while I'm out with my injury! And I get an award too? Totally Radical! This easily beats watching my beta tapes while I eat Poprocks... But only for today! *He coughs, looking slightly serious.* Jobby: I think I maybe just a bit out of practice and for that I'm sorry everyone. This has been a trying time for a few of us but I think nobody has been hurt worse than EWT... And you, it's fans! Just when you think that the Wrestle Posse was on our way to the tag titles... We were cut short. And now EWT is in a Hell, an alternate dimension where our Lorraines have been stolen by the dastardly evil Biff Tannens of EWT... TJT! And not only that we have a pair or two of William Zabkas coming in too! EWT really needs help! And that's why we need a super group... A super group never before seen, of Daniel LaRusso & Marty McFly! But just Daniel-san needed Mr. Miyagi to succeed, we need to better ourselves with help from a recommended tag team adviser! Mark my words everyone, just like George Micheal & Andrew Ridgeley, the Wrestle Posse will make it to the top! And when we get there... Everyone will see the colors! * “Dare To Be Stupid” plays yet again as Jobby walks away with his award. *
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Spyke the Pacers Fan
El Dandy
Still hates himself for missing the last episode of Murder She Wrote
Go Indiana!
Posts: 8,061
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Post by Spyke the Pacers Fan on Feb 14, 2008 7:02:02 GMT -5
The room darkens and the video screen lowers. A video starts highlighting the biggest moments in Spyke Johannson's career, all set to the tune of Daft Punk's "One More Time." The crowd watches on as Spyke joins Generation Tech, picks up a deciding victory in the Gen. Tech/P.T.A. match, and wins the Toolshed Title from Joe Ragnal.The video ends and the crowd applauds a look back on the career of Spyke Johannson. What follows is what looks like a pre-recorded message from Spyke himself. Spyke: "Wow. EWT fans, what can I say? You love me! You really love me! OK, now that I got my obligatory Sally Field impression out of the way, I would just like to say thank you for naming me the EWT Superstar You Miss The Most. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that you guys missed me that much. I understand though that my dear brother Crash has been trying, TRYING to fill the void that is no Spyke." (The camera cuts to Crash sitting in the audience with his arms folded, not looking at the screen. Crash notices the camera on him and waves in a "go away" motion) Spyke: "Ahh, why I bet he's there now, sitting there all pouty with his arms folded. I understand my good buddy Ronnie Cordova is trying to keep him in check though. And Rachael Leigh Cook. The girl I broke into EWT with. I saw that you're returning pretty soon here. I can't wait to see you back in the ring. You've been my best friend from the beginning, I love ya, girl! Anyway, EWT fans, I have to ask you something. When you saw that video, looking back at my EWT career, at all the good times, at all the high points in my career, I just wanna know something..." "Do you like it?""Tetris" by Basshunter hits and Spyke leaps from back behind the curtains to a MASSIVE pop! The fans leap out of their seats and cheer the Swedish dance master as he high fives fans in the front row. Spyke does what he does best and breakdances on stage, before taking his spot behind the podium, where the Scammy Award is waiting for him. Spyke: "Didn't think you'd be seeing me in person tonight, didja? I always try to surprise you guys. Just like you surprised me by voting me the one you guys missed the most. And let me tell you something, I miss you guys too. I miss the guys backstage, I miss being around the lovely EWT GND's..." (Cut to Juri Sadamoto sitting in the audience, then to Synthy Eris who smirks a bit, then to former GND star, Rosa who waves to Spyke.) Spyke: "...hell, I even miss being interviewed by Todd Grisham!" Todd Grisham: (from waaaaaaaaaaaay in the back of the auditorium) "Really?!" (Todd climbs out of his seat and runs down the aisleway, only to be coldcocked by a roaring elbow from Rachael Leigh Cook!) Spyke: "Whatta doofus... Aaaaanyway, my time is starting to run out so I'll get to the thank yous. I wanna thank Rachael for helping me out with my debut and then sticking around afterwards. I wanna thank Limey and Spaz for including me in the forming of Generation Tech. I wanna thank Synthy Eris for humoring me when I said we should form a tag team. I wanna thank Juri Sadamoto for not dating my brother. Seriously, I know it's very easy to resist him, but still, it's nice to see a woman not fall into his sleaze trap. By the way Crash, if you're looking for cheap, easy women to pick up on, I hear WWE's hiring. (A couple of "oohs" from the crowd, and a non too please Crash is once again shown on camera) Spyke: "But back on topic, my biggest thank you goes out to you, the fans. Without you, there'd be no point in doing what we do. Thank you for making it all possible. I'd just like to end with this. I'm not back yet, but consider this me officially saying that I WILL be back, and when I do... well, you'll be pleasantly surprised. GEN TECH 4 LIFE, BABY! I'M OUT!" (Spyke holds up his Scammy award and the audience applauds the Swede. Spyke walks off-stage. Cut to Crash with a glare on his face directed towards the direction Spyke walked in.)
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Post by teamireland on Feb 15, 2008 17:29:40 GMT -5
* "I'm Shipping Up To Boston" begins playing as Coach O'Hare, clad in a grey suit, white shirt & maroon tie as opposed to his usual attire, takes to the stage. As always, he carries his Tricolour wrapped Hurley. He is flanked by Aidan Donnelly & Sean McCann at either side while EWT Toolshed Champion Shane Malone takes up the rear. Team Ireland have also opted to dress formally this evening. O'Hare leans over the podium, holding his Scammy Award for Best Manager.* O'Hare: About feckin' time! I wish I could say that anyone else deserves this, but when you look at the rest of the field, like... well, there's nobody else is there? Who lead a team to the longest Tag-Team title reign in EWT history. I mean, a title reign that mattered & wherein the champions fought a variety of opponents rather than just facing the same team over & over & over for months on end. Who managed the most dangerous & sadistic EWT Toolshed Champion in history? Who masterminded beatdowns of Sigma "G.Q." Williams & "The Bollywood Big Shot" Mahavir Abha? Jim Neidhart:[in the audience] I DIDN'T DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS! O'Hare: SHUT UP! You're looking at the team that caused the end of Raskall & Trunk! The team that destroyed Ultimo/Dragon! The team that ended the career of PAUL FRIGGIN' PODANSKI! I guess the fact that I won this award proves to all the other managers of EWT that ... YOU WILL NEVER BEAT THE IRISH!** "I'm Shipping Up To Boston" plays again as O'Hare & the rest of Team Ireland leave the stage to sit back at their table where four pints of Guinness await.*
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Tiffany
Mike the Goon
Don't ask me. I'm just a girl... aheheh, aheheh...
Posts: 39
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Post by Tiffany on Feb 15, 2008 18:45:12 GMT -5
"It's Tiffany, bitch..."*Tiffany excitedly races up to the podium to collect her award. She's wearing a ridiculously tiny dress that starts halfway down her breasts & ends a few inches below her waist. The dress struggles to contain her as she bends over to speak into the microphone.* Tiffany: Like, oh my God! I can't believe I totally won an award. That totally rocks! I mean, like, oh my God! This soooo cool! I'd like to thank Liam, Malahaha & Jasmyne for totally being cool to me & stuff. And all the cool chicks in the GND Division who totally put on like good matches & stuff. And, like, Mr. Dorfelfin for giving me a job & stuff. And like... *Tiffany's musci starts again as some bouncers hurriedly rush her off-stage & escort her back to her table where Liam, Mahavir & Jasmyne await. She proudly displays her Scammy Award to them with a wide grin. Liam & Mahavir beam back at her, Jasmyne gives her a sultry wink. Tiffany, still not fully aware of Jasmyne's intentions giggles & winks back.*
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Post by crauswell on Feb 17, 2008 15:13:43 GMT -5
Flock Off picks up soon, as the audience looks on, quite a bit surprised, as they see the man known as Craus walk up the steps to the podium, clad in his Pre-Cidal Squad suit, the man clutching his back, having quite a bit of difficulty walking, as he's completely hunched over. He makes his way to the podium and looks up briefly.
Crauswell: I am not the smartest being... for if I was, I would be laying back in my hospital bed right now after I had my back broken by Ferhago Crow. I also would not have completely defied doctors orders and gone out to the ring for my match with Christopher Indigo, which we all saw what happened. You see... if I was a smarter creature, then I would have never challenged Crow in the first place and I probably would have destroyed Indigo by now... at least in my own opinion. Unfortunately, that's not how I envision myself. I see myself as an unstoppable creature... who doesn't know his own limitations. Sure, I could have done like others and appeared from a video feed, but, no offense to them, I refuse to not show up when I'm asked to. As soon as my injury has healed... I shall return to once again assert myself in the EWT! However, that's not the reason I'm here tonight as you all may guess. When I found out my fued with Cassinova had won the Scammy for Best Fued... I was pretty shocked really. I mean, I could have never seen that coming... but it appears I underestimated my fans. For that, I am sorry.. Truth be told, Cassinova deserves this award much more than I do, because in the end... he triumphed. However, due to certain circumstances... that can not happen I suppose. Therefore I will do the only honorable thing and accept the award in his name. Cassinova... you were a worthy foe and I hope that someday, we may be able to square off once again, because you are one of the few that has earned my respect... at least in the ring. I'm not sure if we will ever meet up once more, but if we do, I will surely try my best to redeem myself and not let me emotions be clouded by a mere title... like it once was.
The furry looks up at the crowd, grabbing the Scammy and raising it high.
Craus: Cassidy... this one is for you.
He turns back and starts walking back... then gasps in pain, as that skunk guy runs over, hoisting his "mate" up and helping to escort him off the stage, as the audience begins clapping politely at this rather passionate speech.
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