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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 13, 2007 12:24:39 GMT -5
*Toom E Dangerously is going over the happenings at Old School.*
What the hell were you people thinking? Why did you not show me the damn fine print?
Lawyer: Sir, we did. We thought you went over them as well.
Toom E: THAT'S WHAT I HAVE YOU IDIOTS FOR!!! I pay you the money to go over those things with a fine tooth & comb.
Lawyer: We did sir. We even tried to point it out to you.
Toom E: STOP THROWING THE BLAME ON ME!!! YOU IDIOTS REPRESENT ME!!!
And who the hell gave the Ok for Jesse Ventura & Jim Ross to call a match? Does anyone realize how much that cost?
*Just then, dorf walks in.*
dorf: Relax Toom. I gave the Ok & I fit the bill for the 2. The fans don't wanna hear Sum Guy screwing up every match...they wanna hear people who know what they're talking about.
Toom E: YOU!!!
dorf: Yes, me. Your NEW partner in crime. I like the sound of that.
Toom E: Get out of my office.
dorf: Are we going to divide the room in half like those tv shows where a line is drawn down the center? Because, if so...I get the half with the window.
Look, I know you don't like this. But hey, you needed money. I got money. And I got a score to settle with you. You don't like me, I don't like you. Hell, you don't like anybody, for that matter. It's a shame, really. because you really can be such a nice guy when you want something.
You need to realize...Dorfman Industries is helping you get out of debt...you can love it, you can hate it...but you will deal with it.
Now if you'll excuse me...I need to officially introduce myself to the Board of Directors.
*dorf walks out of the room as Toom E has an angry look on his face & speaks.*
Toom E: Find a loophole out of this mess or you're fired!!!
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Post by The Bad Man on Aug 13, 2007 13:06:12 GMT -5
Backstage and The Bad Man is hunched over one of Toomi's many lawyers, who has been knocked to the ground
THE BAD MAN (Raspy gurgling Voice): I .. flehe want more opponents! ... flheh ... I know you know a man who can get me this! ... flheh ...
LAWYER GUY: But ... but ... I work for dorf not Toomi!
THE BAD MAN (Raspy gurgling voice): flheh ... as I said, get me what I want ... flheh ... or you end up like this guy!
The Bad Man points down and we see he is sitting on a backstage technician, crushing his lungs under The Bad Man's enormous bulk his face turning blue.
LAWYER: Right-tt ... opponents ... ok then ... I'll go see about this right away ...
The lawyer scrambles with is papers and runs off down the corridor leaving the camera on The Bad Man. The Bad Man picks up a pice of paper the lawyer left behind, reading it he merely snorts a laugh before getting up and waddling away down the corridor towards the main locker room.
(cut to commercial)
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Post by Redface: Dispenser of Justice on Aug 13, 2007 14:22:45 GMT -5
David Penzer: Making his way to the ring! Weighing in at 185 lbs: "The Guru" SONJAY DUUUUUUUUUUUUTT!
*"The Guru makes his way down the entrance ramp strewing about rose pettles and flashing the fans a big smile. He enters the ring and waves to everyone. Michael Cole and JBL are at ringside.*
JBL: Oh God, Michael. Just what does Sonjay Dutt have that makes him so happy? I wish someone would wipe that smile off his dumb face.
Cole: Why do you have to be like that, John? Sonjay Dutt is in tune with the world around him! He's happy!
JBL: Happy like my foot...
*There is a moment of quiet. Then, "Testify" by Rage Against The Machine hits the arena. The Crowd goes wild, booing like crazy. Dutt is confused. Joe One enters the arena through the curtains with his belt slung over his shoulder and stops at the top of the entrance ramp. He basks for a moment in everyone's hatred.*
Cole: What is Joe One doing here? This isn't his match, is it?
JBL: He doesn't need your permission to make an appearance in front of the EWT fans, COLE. He's the EWT Champion! Now shut up! The man has something important to say!
Cole: How do you know?
JBL: Well, he wouldn't be appearing in front of us if he didn't!
*One brings the Mic closer to his lips.*
One: Fans of EWT...*Loud Boos.* Ahem, fans of EWT... *More Boos* I'm going to have to speak eventually, so you might as well stop while you are ahead. *Slight pop from the smarks*
JBL: How rude of some people...
*In the ring, Sonjay is growing more confused by the second. One notices this.*
One: Now, Mr. Dutt, I don't mean to be long. This is not about me or my Gloryvic at Old School against Mr. Ragnal...*He lifts his title for all to see...The crowd boos*
Cole: Oh brother!
JBL: Quiet, Michael!
One: But rather I am here to tell you...about the newest member of Minipax. *boos* We in Minipax have been doubleunpopular with you fans since I arrived here. The Ministry of Peace is not an "evil" organization. We are here to pacify those who want to bring damage to Oceania and the Extreme WresteCrap Threaderation. Myself, Mr. Indigo, Mr. Thunder, the Jupiters, Ms. Terina, and....Mystery are only trying to keep the status quo here in the EWT. If it wasn't for us, who knows what the Cidal Squad or Rated X would have done? We are not an evil Ministry; we are a JUST Ministry.
Cole: Yeah right. Trying telling that to Jessica Corral.
One: However, Minipax is not a stoic association. We are all-encompassing in out compassion for new members to join us in our mission to deliver the bounty of the EWT to BB. Several weeks ago, we convinced Mr. Rodgers to join Minipax. While he was hesitant at first, he turned around and realized it was his destiny to join Minipax and help fulfill the Nine Orders. Ladies and gentlemen, introducing.....the new.....Mr. Noah Rodgers!
Cole: WHAT?
*That familiar abridged version of "This Mortal Soil" by Mastodon begins and Rodgers step through the curtain to the jeers of the EWT audience. he makes his way past Joe One, who gives him a pat on the back for good luck, and jogs down to the ring and enters, The bell rings and the match is underway. Dutt Extends his hand to show good sportsmanship and flashes a big smile.*
Cole: Sonjay Dutt showing some good sportsmanship to start things up here.
*Rodgers Smiles back and shakes hands with Dutt, much to the crowd's surprise and One's horror. Rodgers then swiftly kicks Dutt square in the groin, bringing Dutt to his knees, without letting go off Dutt's hand. The crowd boos, losing all hope that Rodgers is still a nice guy. Rodgers lifts Dutt back to his feet and Irish whips him into the ropes. Dutt rebounds and Rodgers levels him with a Strong arm lariat. Rodgers lifts Dutt back to his feet and hits a huge DDT on him. Rodgers then locks Dutt into a boston crab.*
JBL: Look at that display of ability, Cole! See, Joe One was smart to add Rodgers to the Minipax ranks! This is why Minipax is unstoppable! This is why Noah Rodgers is the new face of this company!
Cole: The new face? what about Mike Ragnal? or Dave Davies?
JBL: Ah, They're old hat... Especially when this Young Gun, NOAH RODGERS can easily put them all to shame!
*Writhing in pain, Dutt taps out. The Bell rings but Noah does not break the hold. The Ref threatens to reverse his desicison, and Rodgers breaks the hold. The Ref lifts Rodgers' hand in victory as Joe One enters the ring to congradulate Noah as well.*
Penzer: Here's your winner: NOAH ROOOOOOOOOOOOOODGERS! *boos*
*Joe One points to Sonjay Dutt, who is trying to get back on his feet and says something.*
Cole: What is saying?
*The camera gets in closer to Rodgers and One.*
One: That prole...Take him out.
Noah: *Devilish smile* Get me a chair.
*One complies and exits the ring. He grabs a chair next to the announce table and fold it. he then slides it into the ring.*
Cole: I can't believe this. Joe One, just coldly stating "Take Sonjay Dutt out".
JBL: That's what Minipax does Michael! They get a job and they finish it!
*Meanwhile, in the ring, Rodgers walks over to Sonjay Dutt and Lifts him on to his shoulders. Rodgers then moves to the chair that One placed in the ring and Hits a Color Crush, slamming Dutt Head first into the chair. The Crowd cringes. "This Mortal Soil" begins playing and both Minipax members are in the ring celebrating.*
JBL: This is a new era for Minipax! With Noah Rodgers on board and Joe One with the Heavyweight title, nothing can stop them!
*The Camera zooms in on Rodgers and One celebrating*
*fade to black*
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Bedlam LadyD
Samurai Cop
Is a WSX Cupcake. BOOOOOOOM!!
Posts: 2,452
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Post by Bedlam LadyD on Aug 13, 2007 15:35:22 GMT -5
*EWT EXCLUSIVE: It's apparent from Synthy Eris' attire that this was from yesterday's Old School Pay Per View. The blood is staining her shirt, and still slides freely from ther cut below her left eye. Her face is manic and she looks as pissed as she possibly can be. You can tell even the camera man is shaking from her rabid glare. Synthy's neck goes sideways, and a loud POP is heard before she bares her teeth and steps into the camera's light.
Synthy begins to speak, her voice enunciated and soft. It's quite disturbing.
"Cassinova. I can't believe the balls you have to do what you did. You interfered in my match -again. I have every right to give you a slow, torturous, ritualistic maiming. The match that Juri and I had every right to have to ourselves.. you decided taint it. You raped my victory. You treated the match as your personal play toy. And for ruining a match that should have gone down in the books as one of the most balls-to-the-wall straight-up women's matches ever....I want to tear every little blonde hair from your head with tweezers. I want to do to you in real-life every painful thing to equal the pride inside me.
Then again, as sick and twisted as every noble emotion I have inside is, because of you- I really should stop talking about you, I should stop even recognising you exist. I should blatantly ignore your attempts at getting under my skin. ...
*A long silence commences, and a guttural growl escapes from her throat and she takes a step toward the camera.*
As much as I would love to do that, I can't. There's just something about you that oozes into my thoughts. I enjoy coming up with ways to hurt you. I want to see you bleed! This insanity that bonds us? The creepy tie that keeps us after each other...I won't stop until that bond is severed. I will hurt you. But for right now, my dearest, annoying, ignorant self-righteous, obnoxious irritating little sir, I will leave you with one thing. One thing only to satisfy you until our next meeting.
*She takes a another step, and bares her teeth.... and blows a kiss.* Keep me in your nightmares, Cass. I'm the best thing that ever happened to them. *She runs a finger over the bleeding cut on her face. Then with another kiss, she wipes it into a slash across the camera as we fade out.*
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Smarky
Mike the Goon
Posts: 14
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Post by Smarky on Aug 13, 2007 15:40:32 GMT -5
[Smark...er...Jonnie Sparks and Tard Grisham are sitting backstage watching the last match]
[Sparks turns off the TV and stares blankly]
Sparks: GOD F***ING DAMMIT!!!
Tard: What?
Sparks: I WORKED MY ASS OFF FOR THOSE TOTALITARIAN BASTARDS TO TRY AND GET A SPOT! AND NOW THAT GUY IS JUST....IN!? THIS ISN'T FAIR! THIS IS NOT FAAAAIIIR!
[Sparks tosses his glass of water at the TV, shattering the glass, and sits back down on the couch, pouting]
Tard: [Takes a sip of his water] Well...that's too bad.
Sparks: [Stands back up] You know what, I'm going to go take out my aggression in a constructive manner.
Tard: Oh, what are you doing now?
Sparks: Shut up and give me that pen.
[Grisham sighs and hands Sparks a pen. Grinning, Sparks begins writing on a nearby piece of paper. After a couple of minutes, he holds it up for Tard to see]
Tard: [Reading] "Joe One is a dodo head"?
Sparks: DOODOO HEAD! CAN'T YOU READ?!
Tard: Can't you write?
Sparks: That's not funny. That's not funny at all.
Tard: What are you going to do with that?
Sparks: I'm putting it on his locker.
Tard: And summon the wrath of Minipax upon you?
[After a long pause, Sparks grabs the pen and rewrites. He holds it up again for Tard]
Tard: "Andy Davidson is a big fat doodyhead". Elegant.
Sparks: I do my best.
[Fade to Black]
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Ratings
Dennis Stamp
Has a box of scraps
"YAY!"
Posts: 4,236
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Post by Ratings on Aug 13, 2007 17:03:33 GMT -5
EWT ARENA - VIP LOCKER ROOM
The plasma screen displays the acquisition of Noah Rodgers to Joe One and the rest of Minipax in high definition. The camera pans back and turn to reveal Chance Confidence and Ratings seated in separate leather chairs. Dressed in expensive suits (Chance wearing a black suit with a emerald green dress shirt and silver tie; Ratings in a grey suit a red dress shirt and tie. Both men also have color tinted sunglasses--Chance with gold, Ratings with red) and each sipping a glass of expensive brandy, they watch the scene unfold on the screen.
Chance: "And the shepherd adds another lamb to his flock."
Ratings: "Yes, I suppose he feels quite vulnerable now, seeing that everyone will be gunning for the EWT World title that he has acquired."
Chance: "Luck has been on his side for quite some time."
Ratings: "It will betray him when he needs it the most."
Chance: "Thus making his downfall even more amusing."
Ratings: "Indeed."
(the two touch glasses--a sign of "cheers"--and take a sip of their brandy)
Chance: "So... what do you think we should do?"
Ratings: "Like you said before, Maelstrom and Oceanic must be dealt with. They may become quite a bother down the road if we do nothing."
Chance: "And as for Joseph the 1st?"
Ratings: "Let him be. Let him hold that title and that feeling of being on top of the world with all of his heart. Let him rant and rave about his master and bow before that unshaven man. Let him recruit as many sheep as wants to increase his folk. His time will come..."
Chance: "...and the wolves will come out to hunt."
Ratings: "Like lambs to the slaughter."
Chance: "Indeed."
The two smile sinisterly and enjoy their glass of brandy as the camera fades to black.
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Sigma: Current SRW Champ!
Dennis Stamp
Writes about wrestling, does videos about game shows, helps transpeople, loves baseball etc.
Posts: 4,524
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Post by Sigma: Current SRW Champ! on Aug 13, 2007 18:59:52 GMT -5
Tony Schiavone: Well, we’re getting ready for our next match right here at the EWT Arena, its X-Division pioneer Jerry Lynn against the brutal Sigma “G.Q.” Williams. Jesse, from what we’ve seen of Sigma lately, Jerry Lynn’s in serious trouble.
Jesse Ventura: Well, Jerry Lynn is crafty and knows his way around the ring, but Sigma has just been devastating in his last two battles. He’s put Batista on the shelf and bloodied the Undertaker. We’ll have to see what he has in store for Jerry Lynn.
Tony Schiavone: Ok, let’s go down now to Gary Michael Capetta.
(Bell rings)
Gary Michael Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, our next contest is for one fall. Already in the ring, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, Weighing in at 185 pounds, here is Jerry Lynn.
Tony Schiavone: He looks tentative right now, and I don’t blame him.
Jesse Ventura: Yeah, he’s about to get a rude awakening because here he comes.
(Personal Jesus plays, crowd boos immensely)
Gary Michael Capetta: And ladies and Gentlemen, weighing in at 277 pounds, hailing from Tacoma, Washington, Sigma G.Q. Williams.
Tony Schiavone: He’s got something weird on his forehead, what is that Jesse?
Jesse Ventura: That’s just a scar from when he got burned as a child, but the crystal on his forehead is actually spiritual. And he’s going to speak to us right now.
Sigma Williams: My fellow worshippers of my deeds, I come to you to exude my greatness to you. (Crowd boos) The people put me up against Batista and the Undertaker in my first 2 bouts, and they got laid out. Now this pathetic example of a wrestler will follow suit.
(Bell rings)
Tony Schiavone: Well, there’s the bell and Jerry Lynn is attacking him with a flurry of punches.
Jerry Lynn attacks Sigma with a flurry of punches before Sigma grabs Lynn’s arm and wrenches it. Sigma then proceeds to blast away on his arm. Afterwards throws him into the rope and gives Lynn a vicious big boot to the face.
Tony Schiavone: A massive boot right to the head of Jerry Lynn. Lynn is now laid out.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma’s got him up from behind and it looks like he’s going for some sort of Dragon Sleeper here.
Sigma lifts up Jerry Lynn from the Mat and gets ready for the Sigma Suplex.
Tony Schiavone: Sigma’s calling for it.
Sigma hooks Lynn’s leg and delivers the Sigma Suplex.
Jesse Ventura: And there it is, the Sigma Suplex.
Referee Counts 1, 2, 3.
(Bell rings)
Gary Michael Capetta: Ladies and Gentlemen, you’re winner is Sigma G.Q. Williams.
(Crowd Boos)
Tony Schiavone: Well, this match was over before it was over. Jerry Lynn made one crucial mistake and that was attacking Sigma head on. Sigma got his arm, threw him into the ropes and just delivered one hell of a boot. Then he gives him the Sigma Suplex for the 1-2-3. He is your winner. More great EWT Action to come, right after this.
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Aug 13, 2007 22:15:18 GMT -5
The finish of last night's World Tag Team Title match is shown:
Sum Guy: I am here with the former EWT World Champions, The Cidal Squad. What are your thoughts right now?
(The camera pans to show Duke, Doe and King)
Duke:To be honest, not very pleased at all.
Guy: So I would assume you'll be cashing in your rematch soon, right?
Duke: Actually, I want to address that now. You see, last night, we were not beaten. The Nyrds were. Not only that, but we have defended our belts in more countries, and at most personal cost than any other champions before us. So as far as I'm concerned, we are the uncrowned champs. But to be honest, we really aren't in that much of a hurry to be crowned again. At this point in time, we have done as much as we can with those belts at the moment, and to hold them again would only hold as back.
Guy: Anything to say to the current champions?
Duke: Yes. TJT, know this. Like previously stated, you never beat us for those titles. Don't lose any sleep over that... *Fade to black*
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TJT
AC Slater
It's fun to be perfect.
Posts: 109
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Post by TJT on Aug 13, 2007 22:36:34 GMT -5
*Backstage, in their locker room, Thunder, Jupiter (those two, in their wrestling gear and trenchcoats, with the EWT World Tag team titles around their waists) and Terina (who is dressed up similarly to how she was at Old School), are watching the Cidal Squad's recent words about losing the tag titles.*
Thunder: Shyeeeaaaah! Hahaha!
Terina: Whether they say they've been beaten or not...they lost their match, and more importantly their titles.
Jupiter: I can smell that pungent kind of weakness...
Terina: Well anyway, they shouldn't be so upset. I mean, they did lose to the GREATEST tag team in EWT history.
Thunder: Cha!
Jupiter: Pheh, they lost and they know it. We may have pinned the Nyrds...but they didn't stop us from getting that fall.
Terina: So boys...you ready for it?
Thunder: Oh yeah.
Jupiter: Definitely.
Terina: All right. *gets on cell phone and hits speed dial* Oh yeah, Mr. Jaerak, did you get everything ready?
*talking*
Terina: Oh, you did? Great. We'll see you soon. Ciao!
*she hangs up and puts her cell phone away*
Thunder: Only a matter of time...
Jupiter: I've been praticing for it!
Terina: *lifts an eyebrow* Practicing?
Jupiter: Well of course I have. I mean...this is BIG! This is that kind of announcement that can revolutionize a company, and make history.
Thunder: Well will it, that's what I'm wondering?
Terina: Does that even need a verbal answer, considering who WE all are?
Thunder: I guess not, babe.
Terina: Well I guess that's settled then. Let's get the final few things ready.
*The three walk off screen, and the camera fades out*
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Post by radicalbuttercup on Aug 13, 2007 22:56:58 GMT -5
~The camera fades into the sight of Madison The Clown Girl sitting in a chair in the backstage area. She's lacing up her pink chucks in preparation for her upcoming match. Three silhouette's slide up behind her but she seems oblivious to the ominous feeling. Ghost Face leans down and the other two remain behind him~
Ghost Face: ..Heheh..we are quite pleased with the recent news..
Madison: Whut news? Spaz owns half'a the company? .....Or is that Dorf? I always get those two mixed up.
Ghost Face: ..Not that..
Madison: ......What else happened? Oh yeah. Menopause let some fat guy in their group. Woo-woo.
~She makes an unenthusiastic little circle in the air with her pointer finger~
Ghost Face: ...No. We're pleased to see that you've advanced in Girls Next Door Tournament.
Madison: 'O course! That's what she gets for underestimatin' me. "Laughin stock". .....Ain't so funny now is it? WHO's laughin now? HAH.
~Glowering a little before springing out of her chair, hopping about~
Ghost Face: ..And we've had a small change of plans. ..We've decided that your little friend Synthy isn't really one of us. She's expendable. She doesn't belong.
Madison: Ooooooh. Well. That'sa bummer.
Ghost Face: ..And we'll be right at your side when you face her in the finals. We're going to require nothing less than an entire decimation.
Corpse: ..Trails of blood..nightmares of darkness..tear the flesh from her bones..terrified screams..
Wraith: HIT HER WITH A ROCK!
Madison: Whoa, whoa, wait-a-sec!
~Finally sinking into her somewhat thick skull just what they were planning~
Madison: Nuh-uh! No way! She's my friend! None'a that......stuff! And I DON'T need any help to beat her.
Ghost Face: ..Our appetite is completely heartless. We have a lust for death and dismemberment. ..Are you sure you don't want it to go our way?
Madison: Is fat backs greasy?
The Draugr: ...
~Blank stares from the ghouls~
Madison: Don't worry! I'm leavin' with the gold. Got it?
~Ghost Face points to the door and Corpse and Wraith exit it without a moments hesitation. He steps past Madison but stops to whisper into her ear~
Ghost Face: ..If you want to win..and keep that title..your going to have to become..something different..
~Madison stares forward for a long while before letting out a heavy sigh~
Madison: .....What do you think, Mr.Bunny?
~The camera pans over to Mr.Bunny who had been standing in the corner the entire time~
Mr.Bunny: ...
~After hearing Mr.Bunny's sagely wisdom a wide grin spreads across Madi's face~
QUICK! CUT TO THE RING SIDE!
May Or May Not Be An Announcer: Currently in the ring.....Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaail Kiiiiiiiiiiiiim!
~Gail Kim stands in the middle of the ring and does whatever he signature pose may be. If she even has one. Go ahead and make one up! Imagination time!~
Person With Mic In Hand: Aaaaand her opponent...frooooAH!
~Gail is struck from behind with a rather large mallet squarely in the back. It seems our crafty little jesterette snuck in through the crowd. She stomps away on azn sensation as Mr.Bunny slides a chair into the ring. He slides in after it. Madi snatches Gail up just so she can hit her with the Rubber Mallet[Snapmare Driver]. With Gail down she scales to the top rope and commences teh pummelin' with a shooting star press she likes to call the Killing Joke. Mr.Bunny drags the wounded female to the middle of the ring and slides a chair underneath her head. Madison raises her mallet high above her head and looks to cave Gail's skull in with a Conchairto..Conmalleto..whatever.
But before she can finish a gaggle of officials and agents rush out to restrain her from doing. She drops the mallet, kicking and screaming while being hauled from the ring. She can be heard screaming "I want a lawyer! I want a refund! I WANT A CHEESE SANDWICH!"~
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Post by dorf on Aug 14, 2007 6:05:04 GMT -5
*Camera rises to the occasion backstage as a construction crew foreman knocks on Toom E. Dangerously's door. Nobody answered the door. He tries to enter, but the door is locked.*
Foreman: Um....what do we do now?
*Camera turns around to find dorf with a hard hat and his wrestling gear on.*
Dorf: Figures I gotta do everything myself to achieve through life.
*Dorf uses his key to enter the office. An unshaven, possibly drunken Toom E. Dangerously is falling asleep on his desk. Dorf wakes him up with a loud SLAM! to the front of his desk with the palm of his hand.*
Dorf: <quietly> Um, yeah....you do not mind, right? We're going to be a little busy right here for a bit and we don't want to bother you ya know....so its best to you know, vamoose?
Dangerously: <partially drunk, sleepy> ....huh? Oh. Did I win?
*Dangerously assumes the construction crew were his lawyers*
Dorf: Yes, yes you did. Now its best for you to leave your office, while my civil duties to pay you is being done. The reason they do not want you here in case you mess up the settlement. So here, let me walk you outside your office...
*Dorf walks Toom E. Dangerously outside his office and waves him goodbye. Dangerously walks away from his office in disgust and depression. Meanwhile, dorf walks back into the dual office.*
Dorf: Just as I figured....WE'RE GOING TO NEED THE WRECKING BALL!!
*The foreman is very happy as the wrecking ball enters with the WHOLE back wall gone in an instant! As a result of the splattered drywall all over the place, the camera got destroyed and it looks like we have to go to commercial, but the sound still worked as dorf said...*
We'll be right back...
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Aug 14, 2007 6:44:09 GMT -5
We come back from the break to find Curly Long is here! He is in a bad way though as his head is all bandaged up and he is using a crutch. He hobbles along the passage and turns the corner to find a construction team destroying Toomi's office, Sum Guy approaches from off camera
SUM GUY: Hi everyone I'm Sum Guy and I'm Vince McMahon son!!
Curly looks at Sum
CURLY: No your not!
SUM GUY: I can dream ... oh please let me dream I don't want to do this anymore, I need to be free of ...
Curly slaps Sum Guy across the face with his crutch, wincing in pain from the movement
CURLY: Get a hold of yourself. Better yet go get some from Candy Girl!
SUM GUY: Oh I can't, we're having a relationship break ..
CURLY: A break eh? You know I could do with some sweets after that no good backstabbing bag of flab, peice of garbage Mr. Bad laid me out and put Mr. Big in hospital. Not much I can do about it now though ... although some sweetness could help ...
Curly begins to grin, a glint in his eye, Sum Guy realising what might happen if the break lasts any longer runs off to find Candy Girl. Curly watches briefly before struggling and hobbling up to one of the builders who is trying to open the door to the room next to Toomi/Dorf's office.
CURLY: A-hem ... what are you doing?
BUILDER: We're renovatin! For Mr. dorf. I'm just trying to see if we could use this room but it appears to be locked ...
CURLY: Of course it's locked, it's my office.
BUILDER: Not any more, DOrf wants a brand new office and he needs all the space possible, sorry bu we're taking it down.
Curly hands over his key to the builder, but a creepy little smile is on his face.
CURLY: .. here, but I'm telling you I wouldn't open that door, if I were you ...
BUILDER: I'll be the decision maker around here shorty.
The builder inserts the key and turns the lock, it clicks open. The builder grabs the handle and begins to push.
CURLY: I'm telling you ...
BUILDER: and I told you I'm the man in charge here ...
The Builder opens the door, a voice can be heard from the other side. We take a look inside, amidst the rude posters and furniture a sexy looking midget, along with a chimpanzee in a cage hangin from the wall are sitting on a big bed that wouldn't look out of place in a brothel. The builder still trying to act offical walks in followed by Curly Long
MINA the MIDGET: Hi there, you've grown since I last saw you ... and you brought a friend. I'm sure Helga will be able to keep him busy!
BUILDER: What is this!!
From off camera a deep manly voice rumbles
HELGA: Oh yes, baby, your all mine!
BUILDER: Oh my god! ... It's ... It's .. erm I have to go, builders union ... we''l try the other side to expand ... er ... got to go!!
The Builder makes a hasty retreat followed close behind by Helga, the most manly woman one has ever seen her big things stomping along the corridor after the builder. We go back to Curly Long who is being looked after by Mina on the bed.
CURLY: ah ooh, it hurts there baby ... perhaps you could go a little lower ... no lower ...
Curly grins at the camera and throws the crutch at the door, it slams shut.
(Cut to commercial)
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 14, 2007 10:55:19 GMT -5
*Toom E Dangerously staggers down the hallway in a drunken stagger, yet a bit depressed, too. All the wrestlers stand in the hallway, looking at him. Just then, Jonny Nitro runs up to him with the donuts he left to get Sunday.*
Johnny: Um, your limo is this way sir.
Toom E: Riiiight.
*Toom E starts walking. He passes the Nyrds, as Joel just smiles. He heads to a door, where he walks out. He pauses for a moment & looks around. He sees 2 of the construction workers just sitting there.*
*Toom E takes a few more steps & stops to look back at the workers. Toom E heads to the limo, where he opens his door. Toom E steps in the limo & sits down. His foot steps out of the limo & he pulls it back in, closing the door.*
(Dramatic pause)
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 14, 2007 10:57:33 GMT -5
*Just then, the camera is extremely frantic, jerking around. Choas appears to erupt outside where Toom E's limo sits. HE'S BLOWN A TIRE!!!! THE LIMO CAN'T DRIVE ANYWHERE!!!!*
(fade to black on the flat tire as we cut to commercial)
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Aug 14, 2007 11:35:29 GMT -5
*Joe Ragnal is backstage, watching the segment of Toomi's tire going flat. He takes off his shades, and shakes his head.*
Joe:.....................................Well THAT was a ripoff!
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Post by Moxie loves Natalie on Aug 14, 2007 14:09:14 GMT -5
<We fade in with a bored crowd until “Zombie Eaters” hits the Arena as the crowd lights up for Moxie’s entrance>
<He makes his way from underneath the Toomi-Tron and holds his place, soaking in the cheers. He holds his hands out in his usual position, out and at his sides. Moxie then walks down to the ring. He walks up the stairs and flips over the top rope, landing on his feet. He is given a microphone. He stands there and holds his hand out towards the camera>
Moxie: Cassinova. I look I look at the title around your waist and I think of names that I respect. Names that stand out to me in the OX Division. Originators that made the OX Division what it is today. HM Myles… DSR… Spaz.
<Moxie waits for the applause to slow down. His voice grows calmer, deeper>
Moxie: They made the OX Division what it is today. I was wrestling in the OX Division when it was an Oxymoron. I’m glad to say that I have one more achievement underneath my belt, Cass. You’re right. I rendered you “speechless”. For the first time in your life. It’s just another line on my resume. But you know…
I don’t care. I don’t care about you. I don’t care about your five month reign. I don’t care that you’ve gone through Hell, or that you’ve gone through hardcore matches, and ruined your pretty face. You told me that you’re disheartened that I show nothing… ambivalence towards you. Good. It’s because if you look at my name. People think “Legend” or “Champion”… “Washed up” isn’t in there.
I may not hold a title… but I don’t need to. You see Cassinova…
You’re nothing to me. Your “championship”, your “reign”, your “past” is all below my radar. You don’t have my respect, you don’t have my skill, and I’ll be damned if you think that I don’t take this seriously. I brought you to your knees at Old School.
Simply put. You can talk all you want about hard work, but you haven’t worked hard enough to say that it’s all worth it until you’ve gone through me. If you can get through me, then you get the upper echelon. Yes, all the whores, drugs, and alcohol you need to fill your pathetic life with lies ahead.
Cassinova… I’ll be waiting for the next time we meet. You want serious?
Serious is my business, and business is booming.
<Fade out>
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Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
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Post by Ass Dan on Aug 14, 2007 20:26:11 GMT -5
We return with Meat Loaf's 'I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)' playing as Lull Songstra walks into the ring. He calls for a mic. Songstra: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THE ARMY THAT WILL REVOLUTIONIZE THE WORLD FROM THINGS AND THE WORD TAX... WELCOME, EWT CROWD TO THE ERA OF MINIPAX!'Shout' starts up as the EWT Stable Champions (minus Joe One and TJT) walk down the ailse, notably containing the newest member, Noah Rodgers. The crowd boos them loudly as they enter the ring and 'Shout' dies down Songstra: INTRODUCING THE NEW TWE TAG TAG CHAMPIONS THAT PLAN TO REVAMP THE DIVISION WHILE BARELY DRINKING TEA.... TJT!'Peace Sells' starts up as the crowd starts booing again. TJT walk down to the ring with beltwangs a-floppin'. With them in the ring, Terina raises Jupiter and Thunder's hands while they point to their belts. Songstra: AND FINALLY, INTRODUCING THE MAN THAT WILL LEAD OCEANIA INTO VICTORY AND WILL MAKE THE MODERN WORLD UNDONE.... LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... THE EWT CHAMPION, JOE ONE!Lull casts aside his cue cards and lowers back down under the stage as 'Testify' starts up. With the grunt of Zach de la Rocha, Joe One throws up the EWT World Heavyweight Championship in his hands as two blue flames shoot up. He walks to the ring with the same look on his face that he always has; one of contempt. As 'Testify' dies down he grabs a mic. One: They said I could not do it. They said that I was merely a shot in the pan, nothing more than a Peter Polk or a Joey Riot. Well, to those who doubted me... He raises his belt. One: ...it is I who should be doubting you. The crowd boos. One: Now, this does not mean Minipax is done, no sir. The Fifth Order dictates that all the titles be in the hands of Minipax. Our newest member, Mr. Rodgers, will be wrestling in the Toolshed division to win its title, while Mr. Indigo will be going for the OX-Division title. Jack Jupiter: Hey, I thought I was going for the OX-Division title! One: You were. Jack pouts. One: But enough of this gay banter. There are more serious things to attend to. The Fourth Order states that I prove myself to be the greatest Extreme WrestleCrap Threaderation World Heavyweight Champion in history. I have sent out open invitations to all active former champions in the EWT: Ape Love.... The crowd cheers. One: JZ..... The crowd cheers. One: Dorf.... The crowd wildly cheers, some shout 'Just Do!' One: Moxie.... The crowd gives a divided reaction. One: And Maelstorm. The crowd cheers again. One: And now, without further ado, I humbly introduce the man who without could not be possible. Two Minipax grunts roll down a red carpet. One: He is the man who, for over a year, has guided my actions here in the EWT. He is the man who gave me the BR, assigned me the Nine Orders, and personally trained me as a wrestler. His leadership is what created the Ministry of Peace in the EWT. I owe a great deal of grattitude to this man. Ladies and gentlemen, the leader of Oceania and the greatest man who ever lived, BB. Suddenly, music started. This music caused a stir with the crowd, as this music hasn't been heard in several years. Compound that with the fact that the music combined with the idea of BB makes no sence got many people talking. No one in Minipax, however, flinched when they heard the music. They knew exactly what was going on. They heard this. Suddenly, a man came out with an odd attire. As he came into the open, the members of Minipax got on one knee with their heads down. The crowd was in shock as to what was going on. This man was the one who gave Joe One orders to miscarry Jessica Corral's baby. This man was the one who told Joe One to abduct Chris Indigo and Redface Rodgers and brainwash them into new identities. This man was responcible for Minipax. This was there unquestioned leader. This was BB. This was Brian "B²" Buchanon. B² walks into the ring and folds his arms, gangsta-style. One, still bowing, hands him the microphone. B²: Yo, y'all can get up. Everyone in Minipax gets up. The crowd is speechless. One is handed another microphone. One: BB, your will is our command. Do you have anything you want to say to the masses? B²: I certainly do. Hit it! Suddenly, a hip-hop beat is played over the soundsystem. The crowd is still speechless. B²: Listen up here now, I'm gonna tell you the deal. Minipax is here and we're for real. Everyone in the locker room gazes at us in fear We are unstoppable, no matter how hard you cheer. BB here is Emperor, Duke, and king And everyone knows his Minipax can dominate that ring! Now all of you should bow down, because we are doubleplusgood. I know each of you will comply, just like you should. The beat ends as B² crosses his arms again. The Ministry of Peace claps enthusiasticly. B²: Awright, awright, dat's enough of dat. Minipax immediatly stop clapping. B²: I must say that you've impressed me, dawgs. You've got dat Ingsoc thinkin' in ya. That's why you've got tha titles. And ya know sometin', Joe? One: Yes, all-powerfull BB? B²: I knew that you were gonna be big. That's why I've decided to make you part a my Inner Posse. Joe One's face is in shock. The rest of Minipax are also shocked, and start talking amongst themselves. One: Y-y-y-you want me in the Inner Party? B²: You got that right. Come on out, gang! Three Minipax grunts come out carrying a large suitcase. They slide the suitcase under the ring ropes, which B² kicks twords Joe. B²: Open it. Joe One looks around, wondering if he's dreaming. He slowly opens it, like Link finding a treasure chest. One's eyes light up as he brings out what was in the suitcase; a new jumpsuit. The jumpsuit is similar to his old one, except all black. His 'J-1' symbols have been replaced with red 'V's, and there are belt loops on the left side of the front of his top, where one would put a championship belt. As he raises the new suit, the rest of Minipax start to cheer. B²: How ya like your new treads? Joe One looks like he has tears in his eyes. One: Yes....yes I do... B²: Ladies and gents, my BOI, JOE ONE! 'Testify' starts up again as the rest of Minipax pick up the EWT World Heavyweight Champion, who pumps his fists in the air. *COMMERCIAL BREAK*
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Post by xombiehiphop on Aug 14, 2007 22:22:51 GMT -5
Lilian: Currently in the ring..they are Brian Lawler, David Flair and Erik Watts..The New Generation!
JR: Well, King, we have three young men here--
King: coughing Losers..
JR: --who have three very large shadows that they are attempting to step out from under.
King: And I don't think they picked the right night to do this...
Suppose you were to die tonight? ..What would you say?
Lilian:And the opponents..hailing from Parts Unknown..The Draugr!
That question can only mean the arrival of The Draugr. Wraith crouches down and glares out at the masses, Corpse stares forward at the ring and Ghost Face stands behind the both of them. They make their way down the aisle amongst fog and shadows but only Wraith and Corpse slide into the ring. Without hesitation they being to attack their opponents. Ghost Face stands at the outside of the ring
JR:Despite being a scheduled for this match, Ghost Face doesn't seem to have any desire to take part in it.
King: He doesn't need to! Wraith and Corpse are mental cases! Animals! ..What do you think happens in someone's life to make someone..uh..ya know..like them?
JR: I don't think I want to know.
Back in the ring, Wraith and Corpse are pummeling The New Generation despite the three on two advantage. David Flair is thrown shoulder first through the middle turnbuckles and right into the steel post by both members of The Draugr. His screams are horrible and doesn't seem to be able to even free himself. Lawler and Watts, returning to their feet, hear their teammates screams and all the fight they previously had seems to be leaving them
JR: Gawd almighty, what a sickening sound!
King: Lawler and Watts look like they've seen a ghost! How appropriate! 'Cause their in the ring with the walking dead!
From what follows here is like a pair of rabbits being tossed to rabid wolves..
-Wraith nearly takes Watts' head off with the Spectre Kick, a shining Yakuza Kick..
-Corpse's "To The Bones", his version of the Shellshock, caves Lawler's face into the mat..
-Wraith hoists Lawler onto his shoulders where he is swiftly met with a superkick from Corpse who soon proceeds to Flapjack him to the canvas, further adding to his punishment
-Watts is locked into Single Leg Crab by Corpse while Wraith viscously stops on his face until he is busted open. Watts taps but the beating doesn't end. A "Whiplash" (Enziguri/Flatliner Combo) finally puts things to rest.
Lilian: Here are your winners...The Draugr!
Ghost Face now decides to enter the ring, mic in hand, while Corpse and Wraith punt Watts and Lawler repeatedly until the slump lifelessly to the floor below
Ghost Face: ..Axel Halaway you have come to discover..that a man that has lost everything..is a man without fear. A man who does not cater to society's whim's. We had to take this all way from you so you could truly become what you are..deep inside. Your entire life you have been content with being useless. You've never had any desire to stop being a caterpillar and to transform into something greater. WE are giving you that opportunity. We will remove what hurts and turn you into something beautiful.
Ghost Face brushes a few blonde 'locks aside as Corpse and Wraith pull Flair from the corner, forcing him to kneel while lowering his head downwards
Ghost Face: Join us Axel. Leave your moronic partner behind to be picked dry by the vultures. Become one of us and your life can begin anew. You can have your sister back. You can have it all..everything for you..all you have to do..is join us..
Ghost Face brings his microphone crashing into Flair's forehead until it's split open. The three nightmarish wrestlers relish at the sight before dropping the son of Ric onto his face..
King: That settles it! Axel Halaway is the next member of The Draugr! He's already starting to look and act just like them!
JR: If a once proud, promising young competitor like Axel Halaway has truly fallen down this path, this is a terrible set of circumstances. He may have lost a few matches, fell on some dark days--
King: Save it, JR! Axel's given up and bought into what The Draugr's all about!
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Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
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Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Aug 14, 2007 23:15:53 GMT -5
*Lily is walking around backstage, carrying her guitar around her.*
Lily: God, how was I supposed to know I was booked to do charities? My stupid agent never said anything about it...
*Suddenly, she reaches the Wrestle Posse locker room, and thinks for a second.*
Lily: Hm, been a while since I talked to Axel. Wonder how he's doing?
*Lily then knocks on the door.*
Lily: Axel? Hey, you in there?
*A loud hiss is heard from the inside the room. On closer inspection of the door she knocked on, there is a blood stain in the shape of hand.*
Lily: What the...Axel?!
*Worried, she opens the door right up and rushes in, only to find... The most "successful" tag team in TNA, Chris Harris & James Storm, or the remains of them in a pile of flesh & blood.*
Lily: Oh my...oh my god...
*Lily lifts her hands to her mouth, frozen in fear, and looks around the room.*
Lily: What the hell happened here? Did...who did this?
".........success.......followed..........them.............and..........failure...........now follows them........"
*A hiss escapes from the same direction that this voice came from, a darkened corner within the small room.*
*Lily looks over to where the voice came from, and walks over to it.*
Lily: Axel...is that you, Axel?
"He's.....dead...........only........his....foolish.....pride......remains...."
Lily: Jobby, if that's you trying to pull a silly joke, it's not funny!
*The dark figure rises sharply. Stepping into the light, the figure is revealed to be in a gray hooded sweater and very blood soaked jeans.*
*Lily watches the figure move forward, a little surprised by the being's attire.*
Lily:...Axel?
Figure: ...Pryde.....
Lily:...What?
Pryde: This body's name.....is now Pryde.......
*Lily looks the being up and down, confused by what this thing that used to call itself Axel has become.*
Lily: You...you can't be serious, Axel. Have all these losses transformed you? Did you let them get to you THAT badly?
*"Pryde" throws the hood back, revealing dirty black hair and dried blood all around his mouth.*
Pryde: ....Lily............
*Lily's jaw drops, and she slowly backs away from the Pryde.*
Lily: What....what are you? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO AXEL?!
*He looks down at the bodies of his would be opponents and at his hands. His pale skin runs colder as his eyes widen. As if he has a moment of clarity.*
Pryde: .....Lily......I.....don't........ *He grabs his head and begins to tug at his hair.* ....LEAVE NOW!
Lily: Axel, NO! WHAT IS GOING ON?!
*His face flashes a look of hunger at her before he snaps back.*
Pryde: LILY.....LEAVE.....NOW! BEFORE.......I..........Successful..........beautiful............rock......star........... *He takes a step towards her.*
*Feeling as if she was unable to get through to him, and that Pryde was about to do bad things to her like he did AMW, she slowly backs away, closer to the door.*
Lily: Dammit, Axel...
*She then runs to the door, and opens it up quickly, ready to leave this demon persona behind. The door slams open and almost off the hinges. A pale, gloved hand appears out of the door. And another.*
Lily: What the hell...when did I end up in a horror film?!
Pryde: ............spread........the....failure......
*Pryde steps out and spots her in the empty hallway right away. He pauses briefly, as if taking in her horrified expression as if it was a fine wine.*
*Worried, Lily grabs the door knob and slams it shut just before Pryde can reach her. She then leans against the door......crying.*
Lily: Dammit, Axel...what have you done to yourself?
*Realizing Pryde may step out sometime soon, Lily runs down the hall as fast as she can.*
".................Lily.........."
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Post by raftshack on Aug 15, 2007 10:05:30 GMT -5
The Serotonin theme starts up as Havoc and Martyr, the TNA guys that never win, head down to the ring, looking as dark and brooding as usual, as they toward the ring, the bell sounding for this upcoming match.
Announcer: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, representing Serotonin, from the Bowery, at a combined weight of 443 pounds, Martyr and Havoc!
The two enter the ring, standing there and waiting for their opponents. They don't have to wait long, as Apache pumps out of the Toomitron, the lights growing dim as spotlights and lasers appear all over the arena, as Team Raftshack emerges from a puff of smoke on the rampway, then strutting out to the ring, both wearing party hats, carrying noisemakers, balloons, and other sorted party stuff. The crowd cheers as they charge down to the ring, Zeleke reaching into his trunks and pulling out a handful of confetti throwing it into the crowd, Faboon meanwhile have a fun time waving around the noisemaker, as Serotonin gives a puzzled, but uncaring look.
Announcer: And the opponents, from Foreign Alien Island, at a combined weight of 399 pounds, Team Raft Shack!
The duo slip into the ring, running around and tying balloons to each turnbuckle, before strutting over to the announcer, Faboon snatching the microphone.
Faboon: VIOLENCE OBSESSED VILLIAN!!! This is no time nor needing of a battle of epic proportion! As enjoying a match makes me feel giddy with glory... THERE SHALL BE NO SHEDDED BLOOD!
Zeleke: Yes... we must celebrate our monumental victory further than far, with... EPIC DANCE NONSENSE!!!
Serotonin look over, with a very confused look, as Martyr walks over, grabbing the microphone.
Martyr: Are you backing away from us? Do you fear us? You should!
Faboon pulls the microphone back grinning maniacally.
Faboon: Imbeclic Ivan... think for many moments. You never win, NEVERLY!!! You are doomed to fall at our feet... so we have figured that you might as shall join our declaration as a no contestance and assist in shaking what your birther gave you with us!
Zeleke: Doitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoit!!!!!
Havok looks over at Martyr and shrugs, the two nodding, as they all suddenly line up, Too Cool Style, then break it down as Apache starts up again. Zeleke busts out some classic disco pointing, as Faboon does a classic Swim, Serotonin doing a horrible impression of that Thriller zombie dance, as the crowd for some reason starts cheering non stop. Zeleke then struts over, grabbing ol Referee Lee and starting to waltz with him all around the ring, as the crowd eventually starting bopping to the beat as well, when suddenly in the middle of this "celebration" Kaz, recovered from his brutal beating by Crauswell, runs out with a Singapore Caine charges into the ring, beating the hell out of the badly dancing Serotonin members, Raft Shack not noticing, or caring... as they continue to boogey down to the strange delight of everyone. Eventually Kaz beats Havoc and Martyr bloody, then pops up, shrugs, and starts break dancing amazingly well, as this odd sight comes to close with a fade to commercial.
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