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Post by xombiehiphop on Aug 28, 2007 20:31:47 GMT -5
Finkel: Currently in the ring..hailing from the Isle Of Samoa..The Samoan Swat Team!
The two savages can be seen pacing back and forth in the ring
Finkel: And their opponents..representing The Draugr..at a combined weight of 460 pounds..Corpse and Wraith!
Oddly enough "We Die Young" does not begin to play. No music what so ever can be heard. Just the sound of booing. Ghost Face steps out onto the ramp with something of a new look. He's clad in his usual, tattered black tux coat but he's added a few new additions. White pants have replaced his indy CM-Punk shorts, a black top hat with a skull design sits atop his head and he's carrying a black cane with a jack 'o lantern on the tip of it. The blonde dreadlocks, yellow eye contacts and black paint around the eyes remain. He has Karma clung to his arm, practically hanging off of him. He smirks lightly towards the ring and raises his cane in air before tapping it against the steel entrance ramp..
..Tap..
..Tap..
..Tap..
This signals Wraith and Corpse to appear at the left and right of him. Wraith practically foams at the mouth to be given orders to massacre while Corpse stares at his palms, muttering to himself. Ghost Face points the cane towards the Swat Team and the two members of The Draugr make their march towards the ring. Karma twirls a few fingers around Ghost Face's dreads while he keeps his interest locked upon the actions of his two henchmen.
The bell rings..
Wraith quickly shifts into attack mode, looking to mow the Samoans' down with a Double Clothesline. The crafty veterans duck but Corpse does not miss his assault as he spring boards onto the ropes during his entry and dives off, placing two boots squarely into the backs of Fatu and Samu. They stumble forward and this time Wraith is successful with his Double Clothesline approach. Fatu is tossed into the corner by Wraith who drops to his hands and knee's in front of him. Corpse runs up his partners back and catches Fatu with a sharp Enziguri to the face while knocks him clear from the ring via the middle rope. They turn their attention to Samu..
Samu, almost beast like in nature, screams and advances but Corpse catches him with a Drop Toe Hold. Wraith locks in a Camel Clutch and after bouncing off the ropes, both of Corpse's muddy, black boots crash into his face. The punishment continues as Wraith drives Samu to the mat with a Running Power Slam. This is soon coupled with Corpse ascending to the top rope to complete the "Death Blue Drop". Fatu has recovered at this point but his attempt at a save is in vain. Wraith's "Snow White Tan" drives the air from him. Fatu is hoisted upon Wraith's shoulders where Corpse strikes him with a Super Kick from that elevated position, which quickly prompts Wraith to drive him onto his own partner with a spinning Flapjack. Corpse hooks the leg after disposing of Fatu for an academic three count..
Finkel: Here are your winners, The Draugr!
Wraith and Corpse chase the referee from the ring merely to his view his frightened expression before he can raise their arms. Ghost Face and Karma watch this from the ramp, no doubt pleased with the brutality they have witnessed..
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Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
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Post by Ass Dan on Aug 29, 2007 21:41:08 GMT -5
¢
£
A
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"No One Knows" by Queens of the Stone Age begins as the symbols flash up on the ToomiTron. The crowd reacts sourly to Richard Clay as he enters from the back.
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, representing the EWT Stable Champions Minipax, from Cash Mountain, weighing in at 262 lbs., Richard Clay!
Clay gives a smile to the audience, who still react negativly.
Announcer: And his opponent, already in the ring, from Mountainside, New Jersey, weighing in at 275 lbs., The MVP!
The MVP does something. I don't know; imagine him doing something baseball-y. Clay hands over his EWT Stable Championship belt to the referee. He signals for the bell.
*ding ding ding*
The MVP runs to Clay, driving him into the corner of the ring. MVP backs up and starts to punch Clay, but Clay gives a kick to the midsection, quickly jumping to the turnbuckle and landing a Waffle Face. Clay gets up and drops an elbow on him. Clay covers.
1!
2!
Kickout by MVP. Clay picks him back up and hits a Killionare Krunch! Cover by Clay.
1!
2!
3!
*ding ding ding*
Announcer: Here is your winner, Richard Clay!
The referee raises Clay's hand and gives him back his belt.
*GO TO COMMERCIAL*
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Post by Hensley on Aug 29, 2007 22:39:46 GMT -5
*Kofi Kingston awaits in his designated turnbuckle as the referee checks him for any concealed foreign objects.*
*"Seek and Destroy" by Metallica flares across the loudspeakers, and Hardcore Hensley bursts from behind the curtains flailing his arms about. He swaggers down the entrance ramp with a devilish smirk then hops up onto the apron. He glances around before entering the ring then stares down his opponent.*
Finkel: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall with a fifteen minute time limit. Introducing first, hailing from Kingstin, Jamaica, he weighed in this morning at 200 pounds...Kooofiii Kingston!
*Kingston beats his chest then strikes a fist in the air.*
Finkel: And his opponent, he hails from Richmond, Virginia, he weighed in this morning at approximately 252 pounds...Haaardcooore Hensley!!!
*Hensley bounces up and down while he pops his collar as the official finishes checking him.*
Singles match (15-Minute Time Limit): Hardcore Hensley vs. Kofi Kingston
The bell sounds and they lockup. Hensley overpowers Kingston, but receives a kick to the gut before he can really accomplish anything. Kingston throws a couple rights to his head then Irish whips him into the ropes. Hensley ducks a clothesline attempt, and springboards off the ropes at the other end. Kingston turns and eats an elbow. He rolls around on the mat for a little bit then gets outside of the ring. Hensley catches his breath quickly then vaulting body presses himself onto Kingston to the outside. It gets a nice reaction from the crowd. Hensley soaks their approval in then lifts Kingston up to his feet. He tosses out a few stiff kicks that connect with Kingston's rib cage. With his opposition on one knee, Hensley takes some time to gloat, but when he goes to Irish whip Kingston into the ring steps it backfires. Kingston reverses and sends Hensley shoulder first into the steel. A loud thunk rings through the arena. Kingston rolls Hensley back inside of the ring then goes for a steel chair. As soon as he gets back though Hensley is ready, and he heel kicks the chair directly in Kingston's face. Kingston slouches down into the turnbuckle with a dazed look upon his face. Hensley picks up the chair then glances around at the fans with a wicked grin spread across his face. He goes onto perform a skateboard with the chair onto Kingston, who looks completely out of it. Hensley slings the chair out of the ring then drags him into the center of the ring. He climbs the turnbuckle and hits Kingston with a picture-perfect frog splash. After a moment of rest, he makes the cover.
1...
2...
3
Winner: Hardcore Hensley via pinfall @ 3:46
Finkel: Your winner...Haaardcooore Hensley!!!
*Hensley simply nods his head while the ref raises his hand in victory.*
*"Seek and Destroy" by Metallica plays as Hensley strolls up the entrance ramp laughing maniacally.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 30, 2007 11:55:51 GMT -5
*Toom E is in his office, anger on his voice & on the phone.*
What the hell is he thinking? Booking me in a match against jzbadblood? This is an outrage!!! I haven't wrestled in well over a year!!!
I don't care who the hell he is or what power he thinks he has!!! Find a way out of this!!! SHUT UP & LISTEN!!!
FIND....ME....A....WAY....OUT....OF....THIS....MATCH.....NOW!!!!
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Aug 30, 2007 12:59:04 GMT -5
*Mike Ragnal is passing by Toomi's office as he hears all the commotion. He sighs, then chuckles to himself.*
Mike: Ah, classic Toomi.
Linda: Nothing ever changes, does it?
Mike: Uh?
*Mike looks off camera, which pans over to the direction he's looking at, to show both of his siblings, Linda and Joe, leaning against the wall.*
Linda: Hey, Mike.
Joe: 'Sup, bro?
Mike: HEY!
*The Ragnals approach one another and group hug, each one laughing with joy.*
Mike: Wow, god, it's really been a while since I've seen you guys here, huh?
Joe: Well, kinda. I mean, we haven't seen each other since what, June?
Mike: Oh, sure, but I mean, not like this.
*Mike puts an arm on both Joe and Linda's shoulders.*
Mike: I mean look at this. The Ragnals Three, the First Family of EWT, together for the first time since last fall! This is, without a doubt, a great moment for us.
Linda: And the nostalgic fans.
Mike: Right, them too. Still, how about that? The Skies the Limit II's like, the last time we're ever gonna be in EWT.
*As that line is uttered, the Ragnals look around at the walls, the ceiling, the floor...John Heidenreich eating a pickle...and then they sigh.*
Mike: Yanno, I think I've said it before, but damn, I'm gonna miss this place.
Joe: I've been here for months, and I miss it already.
Linda: Well, I can't really say anything, since I was missing it to begin with, and I'm only back for one last time...
*Suddenly, Sum Guy walks on screen, disheartened.*
SG: I'm Sum Guy...and my pies burnt while I was interviewing.
Mike: Um, wow, that's sad.
Joe: You kidding me? This is Sum Guy we're talking about. He's EWT's equivalent of Scrub's Ted.
Mike: Right, right...well, Summy, what's up?
SG: Well, aside from my pies, not much. I've been asked to interview you three one last time, however.
Mike: Well, for old time's sake...fire away.
SG: Alright. First off, Mike, a lot of people have been wondering something. WHy, exactly, did you choose Spyke Johannson as your last opponent in EWT?
Mike: What, like that needs to be answered? C'mon, Sum, you saw that promo he cut a few days ago, right?
SG: No, I was in the bathroom at the time.
Linda: Typical Sum.
*Linda rolls her eyes and crosses her arms while Joe chuckles.*
Mike: Well, I'll sum it up for you. Spyke has talked about how since Maelstrom ended the reign of Spaz at last year's Skies the Limit, that EWT has yet to have a true face champion. And it's true. He even went so far as to say Merc was sadly, the only face champion, but, let's be honest; he was right when he said that he was a lousy face. I mean...what was Merc's message? What was his way of being a role model? "Stalk women and be a dick". Which, yanno, is pretty lousy as an excuse for a face, considering who EWT had as it's champions for a total of nine months, that being the front runners of GenTech, Limey and Spaz. But, you know what? I think if I hadn't let my jealousy get in the way, and hadn't turned on the fans because they didn't appreciate me, then I would have been that true face champion, that guy to help pave the way. But, well...
*Joe pats Mike on the shoulder, as does Linda. Mike looks at both his twin and his older sister, nods, and continues on.*
Mike: But...essentially, that's why Spyke is my opponent at the next PPV. Because he cares about this company. He cares enough that he knows what he's getting himself into, and that he wants to restore the World title scene to it's glory days rather than the heel dominated complex it's become today. So, this match is simply about the fact that I respect Spyke, and I want to see him succeed in his mission. And this match is step one of that mission.
SG: Is that all you have to say, Mike?
Mike: Yeah...yeah, I'm good, thanks, Sum.
SG: Not a problem. Joe, Linda...
Linda: All ears, Sum.
SG: Mike won't be the only one wrestling his last match, as the two of you are also taking on Limey and Carla, two of EWT's returning stars, in what hopes to be a fantastic match. But the question is, why exactly do you want this match?
Joe: Want? Nah, Sum, Nah, nah, naaaaaaaaah.
*Joe shakes his head slowly and wags his finger in Sum's face, and a little into it, Linda elbows Joe in the gut.*
Joe: Oof! Okay, fine, so we wanted this match. But we're not being greedy or anything here. See, everyone in EWT's known about the history Limey and the Ragnals have. Heck, Limey was Mike's first EWT superstar that he wrestled, and he won ten grand for it.
*Joe tilts his head towards the ceiling and raises an eyebrow, then looks over to his older twin.*
Joe: Come to think it, what did you ever do with that money?
Mike: Right now? It's going towards our wedding funds.
Joe: Ah, cool, cool. Sasha's gonna have one big wedding, ain't she?
Mike: Yup. And it's not costing her parents a dime.
Linda: Well, they'll be happy for that one.
Mike: Yeah, I kno-Hey, Joe, the question! Answer the question!
Joe: Oh right, right! Anyway! The thing is, I've only ever worked with Limey in one match, and that was the Ladder match WAY back at We Couldn't Be Arsed with a Name, where Mike and I won the World Tag Team Championships.
Sum: But, they weren't the World tag team titles at the ti-
Joe: Details, Sum, details. Still, I just wanted one last match with Limey, simple as that. I mean, we all consider Limey to be THE legend around here. And you're not going to get too many chances to wrestle with him. Let's face it, the guy puts his heart into his work, and there's no other guy quite like him.
SG: And Linda, what do you have to say?
Linda: Well, Sum, ever since I heard about the Girl Next Door Championship, I've been paying close attention to the up and comers that have been vying to be the next great GND champion. And personally, I'm glad to see these girls so interested in reviving the division just like myself and Carla have. Then when I heard Carla was coming back to EWT, I knew that this was going to be my only chance to wrestle her, one last time. She and I wrestled plenty of times in the span of six to seven months, and I really want this one to count. So, Joe and I, we're bringing our A game for this one. Limey and Carla, we know for a fact they'll be on theirs.
*Joe nods in agreement.*
SG: Any last words from the three of you?
Mike: Well, I have something to say, Sum.
*Mike turns his attention to the camera.*
Mike: Spyke...like I said before, you're a good man, great wrestler...hell, you beat Joe for the Toolshed title...
Joe: Hey!
Mike: But just remember, man. You're stepping in the ring with a man who's going to soon become an EWT legend. This is your only chance to show myself and everyone else that you have the potential to rise up and win the World title. And this is the only time you'll be facing me. And me? I'm expecting the better man to win, Spyke. And I hope it's you.
And that....that's the Shocking Truth.
*The Ragnals walk off, with Sum Guy watching their leave. He then looks into the camera, and smiles goofy-like.*
SG: Well, I'm Sum Guy, and...hey, am I invited to that wedding? I better get them a gift!
*fade out*
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Post by dorf on Aug 30, 2007 22:16:55 GMT -5
*The camera zooms backstage with classical music in the background. It rises up to show its dorf, sitting in a desk from Dorfman Industries. Looks like he has a message to say...* Dorf: Mr. Toom E. Dangerously, you will be facing JZbadblood this week, because there is some unfinished business that you guys had from 2004 and I would like to have it ended ASAP! And this is FINAL...isn't it right, Mr. Lawyer? Ultimate Lawyer: RRRRAAARRRRRRRRRR *snort* Dorf: Next topic.... Oh yes, I'm going to hire an executive assistant next week, that will be in in the EWT arena, full-time whenever you need a question arises, but for now it will be kept a secret. It could be....YOU! Thirdly, I know you locker room peoples are demanding more women, which is why I am giving each and every employee, staff, and other personnel related this poster of Lisa Loeb licking a freshly-made cake: If morale does improve, I will give you something "better" next week...*whistles and silently speaks fast* Maybe a new diva for EWT....Fourthly, The new match board is UP! Enjoy who you are fighting and no cheating, THAT MEANS NO CHEATEM used in your matches, or YOU WILL BE FIRED ON THE SPOT, got it? I hope you enjoy the Lisa Loeb. Have a nice day. ;D *Camera fades for commercial.*
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Square
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Official Ambassador
Grand Poobah of Scavenger Hunts 2011
Square-Because he looks good at all the right angles.
Posts: 18,694
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Post by Square on Aug 31, 2007 19:41:17 GMT -5
*“This Ain't a Scene” hits through the EWT arena getting a thunderous applause from the crowd and out comes Andy “The Eagle” Davidson wearing his jeans and a Sky's the Limit II t-shirt and carrying his signature weapon the snooker cue. Davidson slides into the ring and poses for a minute or so*
The Fink: Ladies and gentlemen Andy “The Eagle” Davidson
*The Fink passes The Eagle the microphone and slides out of the ring*
Andy Davidson: Thanks Fink, God it feels so weird being introduced by a legend in the industry. Ladies and gentlemen as you know I had some problems with Mr Johnnie Sparkes over the past week, but this week he's got a bigger problem because in this very ring he's taking on my tag partner John Valentine and the Lion's on the prowl for some meat. Now I was booked against Roughouse O'Riley BUTTTTT he was booked against Chad Michaels and because of that i'm not facing him tonight. But I did get someone to face me tonight, now to do my Mr Kennedy impression. He weighs in tonight at 210 pounds and hails from Des Moines, Iowa he is SMARK-E!
*”Smooth Criminal” by Alien Ant Farm hits and out comes this brown haired teen wearing black bicycle shorts with “Smark-E” written down the side and wearing a shiny red Michael Jackson-esque jacket and a silver glove on his hand*
Todd Grisham: You know this guy reminds me of someone, I just can't put my hand on it
Jerry Lawler: Nope not a clue who he is, a bad Michael Jackson impressionist?
*Smark-E slides into the ring and poses for a second doing the Michael Jackson crotch grab and point*
AD: Kid you now what, i'm not happy with just a normal match I'm going to make you famous. Me and you are going to compete in the match I'm facing Mr Sparkes in at STL2 a first blood match!
Davidson throws the microphone to the outside, takes off the t-shirt and levels Smark-E with a bicycle kick knocking him down the to the mat and almost out. Davidson picks up the teenager and Irish whips over the top rope crashing near to to entrance ramp, The Eagle grabs the kid and lands a running powerslam onto the entrance ramp*
TD: A sick running powerslam, and it seems like Davidson is trying to get into the head of Sparkes
JL: What?! He's just being a no good thug and beating up a simple Michael Jackson fan. Its not like he got someone who sorta looks like Sparkes, dressed him up as a former gimmick of his in another promotion and is using his old finishers, now that would be impressive
TG:...You really know nothing do you?
Davidson grabs the kid and rolls him back into the ring. Davidson throws Smark-E and lands The Eagle's Landing. Davidson now climbs up onto the top rope and poses for a second
TG: Davidson is up on the top rope and MY GOD 5 STAR FROG SPLASH FROM THE 290 POUND ENGLISH MAN
JL: Now that IS sending a message loud and clear
Davidson goes into his pocket and pulls out a small razor blade and slightly cuts the forehead of Smark-Causing a small trickle of blood from the unconscious teen*
The Fink: Here is your winner Andy “The Eagle” Davidson
*Davidson picks up another microphone*
AD: Sparkes, you mock my promos I mock your career!
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Post by brokenrose on Sept 1, 2007 3:22:04 GMT -5
*Back from commercial, we see the Broken Rose of EWT still clad in the Celtic dress forced upon her since the fateful day at C-A-M !!!!. She looks indignant as she stares at the envelope in her hand. On the head it reads the name of a travel company, containing the contents of that no doubt everyone knows of. Her half of the tickets to the European trip that she is now forced to go on, having lost her match to Synthy. She casts it off to the side as she blows a tuft of her red hair out of her face. The fiery Joshi lives up to her title as she stares angrily at her suitcase, knowing full well that she wouldn't want to risk not packing her own clothes for the trip... Lest Cass has her wear something he preferred. She balls her fist up at the thought. Quickly she winces, her knuckle still broken and painful. Turning to a mirror, she leans in closely. Or rather she presses her forehead against the glass.*
Juri: Stitches on the brow... Broken knuckle on the right.... Bags under the eyes.... And a bag packed with.....dresses..... You know, Jane, for always wanting to go to European you sure don't look like you want this. But then considering the circumstances, no one could fault me.
*She turns to see Jobby holding her latest “gift” from Cass: the tickets.*
Juri: *uncharacteristically crass* What do you want?
Jobby: HI JUDITH!
Juri: ..... *exasperated* At least it isn't Jury. Why are you here?
Jobby: I wanted to say “hi”, I haven't seen you in awhile.
Juri: *beat* The one thing that has been a positive in my life until now.
Jobby: I love you too, Juri!
Juri: That wasn't..... *No energy to waste on this idiot* Uh, forget it.
Jobby: Well, actually I did come for another reason.
Juri: ...that being?
Jobby: WAIT JUST A SEC!
*He rushes over to her and pats her on the head like a child. The look on her face is priceless, and resembles the wide eyes portrayed in anime characters.*
Jobby: I'm sorry about your knuckle. Do you want me to kiss it to make it feel better?
Juri: *Pissed.* First off, don't treat me like a child! I'm OLDER than you! Second, touch me again and I'll kill you!
Jobby: *Backing away with his arms up.* I was just doing what my mummy would do for me when I got hurt.
Juri: Well I don't need a mom nor do I need your pity, I'm just fine thanks!
*She focuses her attention to packing her bag, shoving things into it. An odd switch from her delayed packing before. Perhaps in a way to ignore the 80s obsessed hoss she turns her back to him.*
Jobby: You bring any overalls on your trip?
Juri: *annoyed* Why are you still here?
Jobby: *matter of fact* Well, someone has to remind you to bring the Dexy's Midnight Runners gear for Europe.
Juri: ... *she rolls her eyes.* What did you want to tell me before you insulted me with your touch?
Jobby: .... *hesitant* I haven't seen Axel in a month...
Juri: AND?
Jobby: ...I was wonderin-
Juri: IF I'VE SEEN HIM? Bah, I could care less about him. *In a less convincing tone.* If he disappeared off the face of the Earth that would be... *Changing the subject.* Look, I haven't seen him. Why don't you wait for him in your locker room or something, I'm busy here.
Jobby: THE LOCKEROOM!
Juri: *jumps in surprise* Huh?
Jobby: WHY DIDN'T I LOOK THERE BEFORE?
Juri: ....You've got to be kidding me... Where have yo- *goes to turn to face him* EEP!
*Miss Sadamoto is lifted, much to her surprise, in the air from behind by Jobby. He hugs her in mid air as he swings her from side to side.*
Jobby: THANK YOU, JURI!
Juri: *Voice interrupted by the swinging.* Le-ee-eetttt mmmmmm-mmmmmeeeeee-eeeee----eeeeee dooo-ooooo----ooowwwn!
Jobby: Will do! I'm now off to the locker room!
*He clumsily drops her to her feet and rushes out of the door. The “shaken” Juri quakes in anger, her hair looking like she just went through a wind tunnel.*
Juri: MEN! I SWEAR, IF I DIDN'T HATE GIRLS SO MUCH! UGH!
*She unloads a loud, intelligible scream at the door in a Synthy-esque fashion after that angered outburst.*
*pause*
Juri: ....Synthy.
*She pulls out her cell and types a quick message.*
“Hey, Girlie.
Just in case I don't see you before this trip (gag), I'll see you when I get back. If I don't come back, I've killed Cass and am on the run.
-Ri”
*Fade to commercial.*
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Post by Tha Kid Joker on Sept 1, 2007 5:40:50 GMT -5
EWT.com Exclusive: 3:30 p.m. - August 31, 2007
The camera fades backstage, immediately showing a frontal view of Jack Jupiter, walking a few feet behind Cassinova--still on his crutches. Cassinova is beaming, hopping forward pretty quickly considering the state of his knee. The injured Ox-Division Champion has a wide grin and sparkling eyes, moving so fast that Jack has a hard time keeping up. Cass is apparently pretty excited about his trip to Europe with one Juri Sadamoto tomorrow, and will not try to cover it up. Moving down the hallway quickly, Cassinova manages to come across a random, faceless backstage attendant, who he can't help but spread the joy to.
Cassinova: Hahaha! Didja' see Old School? Didja'? Didja' didja' didja'?!
Attendant: ...Yes...?
Cassinova: Didja' see what happened with Jewelry and me? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Attendant: ...Yes...?
Cassinova: Know what THAT means?
Attendant: ...Yes...?
Cassinova: Well then, what does it mean?
Attendant: ...You're a douchebag...?
Cassinova: WRONG! Means I'M going to Europe with her for the next three days, while you sit and cry because that mean wrestler slapped you in the face!
Attendant: No wrestler slapped me in the...
The interchangeable backstage attendant is cut off by the sound of hand meeting face... and, oh yeah, the shooting pain in his cheek at the point of contact between Cassinova's palm and his dome. He falls down, rubbing his face and not attempting to get back up, as Cassinova continues to grin and move down the hallway. Jack Jupiter takes the time out to kick the employee in the ribs as he passes him, and the two come along two more staff members. They raise their eyebrows as they look from the incredibly giddy Cassinova to their colleague that he just slapped like a little girl. Cassinova waits until they go back to looking and him and can't help but tell them the news as well.
Cassinova: Well, did YOU TWO hear the news?!
The two look at the slapped guy, before looking at each other--then back to Cass.
Two Attendants In Unison: Yes.
Cassinova: Well guess what!
First Guy: ...What?
Cassinova: You were supposed to guess!
Cassinova hands Jack one of his crutches, before using his now free hand to slap this guy across the face much like the first. The guy drops, and the second guy raises his eyebrow before shrugging and look at Cassinova with interest--as Cass continues to grin happily.
Cassinova: Okay, now YOU guess!
Second Guy: Hm... I DON'T KNOOOOW!!!
Yeah, the second backstage attendant happens to be Lex Luger for some reason. I don't know why. It's my promo. I can do whatever the hell I want. Cass loses the happy for a moment and frowns at the lame catch-phrase, but after a short while, the happy's back! =D
Cassinova: Hm... lame AND the wrong answer!
Cassinova proceeds to slap Luger, who in his 2007 form is too weak and pathetic to do anything back. Luger goes down like a ton of heroine-addicted bricks, before Cass snatches his crutch back from Jack and continues to make his way down the hall, in search of more people to tell. Finally coming across another contestant for "Cass Asks You A Question Before B****-Slapping You", he stops and smiles brightly at him.
Cassinova: Did you...
Guy #4: Yes, I heard the news. You interfered in Juri Sadamoto's match so that you two could go out on a three-day trip to Europe together.
Cassinova: Oh, sweet! Well, do you...
Guy #4: You now have a chance to finally "score" her, and thus cross her name off of your list and move on with your sad, sad life...
Cassinova: Well, that was gloomy... hm, well do you know when we're leaving?!
Guy #4: Er, no...
The guy winces and prepares to be hit, and Cass even raises his hand... before deciding against it. The staff-member seems to loosen up once he sees Cassinova lower his hand, and even manages to crack a smile.
Cassinova: Hm... so... "sad, sad life" eh? ...Jack, handle him for me...
Cassinova proceeds to walk forward as Jack Jupiter brings up the rear. Walking right up to the fourth backstage employee, Jack cocks his hand back and slaps him in the face! The man stumbles but catches his balance--as a satisfied Jack Jupiter starts to walk in the direction of Cassinova. An infuriated Cass meets him halfway and pushes past him, back towards the attendant. The man rubs his face and looks angry, but Cassinova looks even angrier.
Cassinova: What, are you kidding me? What kind of slap was that? What about everything I taught you? Everything we've worked on!
Jack Jupiter: ...Is it "extend, follow-through" or "follow-through, extend"?
Cassinova: "Extend, follow-through"! This is how you slap somebody!
Cassinova hands Jack one of his crutches and rubs his hands together, before lifting the man by the chin and and delivering a hard slap to the face! Cassinova winces and shakes his hand in the air to get rid of the stinging pain as the man goes down holding his face. Jack sort of shrugs and makes a mental note to practice his pimp-slapping as soon as possible. He hands Cassinova his crutch back, before the two make their way further down the hallway. Cassinova, ectastic that he gets to tell more people about his great fortunes (as well as slap random employees in the face. Be honest, who hasn't wanted to do that?), grins even wider once he sees another employee further down the hallway. Doing a hopskip to get to this man faster, Cassinova makes his way over there in record speed, with Jack Jupiter following close behind. Cass taps the man--who seems to be talking on his cell phone--on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man seems a bit bothered that he has to stray from his conversation to talk to the hyper young man.
Cassinova: Hiya!
Guy Who's So Cool Because He Has A Spiffy Phone: Yo...
Cassinova: You heard the news, right?!
GWSCBHHASP: What? You mean about you and Juri's trip, or your match at The Skies the Limit II?
Cassinova: I'm talking about our tr--wait... what? What match? I don't have a match...
Long-named Guy: Uh, yeah you do.
Cassinova: No I don't!
Long-named Guy: You totally do!
Cassinova: I totally don't!
Long-named Guy: Yuh-huh!
Cassinova: Nuh-uh!
Guy: Yes!
Cassinova: No!
Guy: Yes!
Cassinova: No!
Guy: YES!
Cassinova: NO!
Guy: YES!!
Cassinova and Jack Jupiter: NO!
Guy: ...o.o
Jack breathes out exasperatedly, and narrows his eyes at the man before looking at Cassinova.
Jack Jupiter: God, some people are so hard-headed... but seriously, you do have a match at the PPV.
Cassinova: What? With who?
Jack shrugs.
Jack Jupiter: I forgot. I doubt it was anything too major, though.
Cassinova: Hah, yeah... not like they randomly booked me in like some, crazy death gimmick triple-threat or something like that without asking me if I'd be cool with it.
Jack Jupiter: Doubt it. Hey, loser, what match is Cass booked in?
The man is too busy back on the phone.
Guy: Yeah! And then they BOTH shouted at me! I swear, those California-types... I wanna' come back home, dearest. Times were simpler back there. Yes, there with you, Luci. Hell, where darkness surrounds us. Where the demonic abyss shrouds us with infinite...
The man goes off into a rant in a never-before-heard language, as Cass and Jack give each other the shifty eyes before quickly making their way further down the hall. They get to another guy leaning against the wall about twenty yards down (yeah, it's a long hallway) and Cassinova clears his throat to get his attention. The guy looks over at him and smiles politely, before attempting to get back to what he was doing.
Cassinova: So.. uh... I'm hearing about this match I'm supposedly going to wrestle in at the PPV... whose face do I have to mess up now?
Busy Guy: You sound pretty confident. I don't know how you do it, really--I'd be pretty nervous if I were you.
Cassinova: (Blinking.) ...Why...?
Busy Guy: I mean, the type of match that you have, and your opposition? Sheesh, dude. Somebody up top hates your guts.
Cassinova: Oh... is it... is it Mr. Bad?
Busy Guy: No...
Cassinova: Oh thank God! Whew... is it Mail-Storm?
Busy Guy: No... wait, you haven't heard about your own match?
Cassinova: Are you implying that I'm actually around here enough to keep up with this kind of stuff?
Cassinova and Jack Jupiter look at each other before bursting out laughing.
Cassinova: (Wiping a tear from his eye.) Haha... yeah right. But no, seriously, who am I facing?
Busy Guy: I hate to be the one to break the news to you... but... Toomi booked you against Moxie again.
Cassinova: (Twitching slightly.) Wait... so after I beat him and made him look like an idiot in front of everyone--even when he wasn't the number one contender in the first place--he still gets another shot at the title? Should somebody alert Toomi and Moxie that the Teddy Long/Batista relationship position has already been filled in the wrestling world, and come Sunday they're going to be needing that back? But you know... it's okay. No problem. Moxie isn't anything that I can't handle. Plus, I want to make him pay for putting me on these crutches...
Busy Guy: Actually, there's more...
Cassinova: ...There's more?
Busy Guy: Yes, a lot more. You see, in an attempt to one-up Dorf, Toom E...
The man's pager goes off, because for some reason it's still hip to have one of those things in the universe that EWT is apart of. He looks at it quickly before slapping his forehead and gathering his belongings quickly, getting ready to head off.
Cassinova: Wait, where are you going? I need to know about my match!
Busy Guy: Talk to Toomi about it! My wife is outside and she's vomiting blood! I have to take her to the hospital! I don't even know where the hospital is!
Cassinova: Relax! There's one next door! Just tell me about my match before you go!
Busy Guy: No time, sorry! Gotta' run!
The man runs past Cassinova and speeds down the hallway to get to his dying wife. Cassinova looks pretty pissed, and frowns before calling after him...
Cassinova: Hey, man. Wait!
The guy stops and turns around.
Cassinova: ...I think the hospital next door is closed. Try the one fifty miles south of here!
The man gives a thumbs up and continues running down the hall. Cassinova smirks slightly before seeing yet another disposable backstage guy and making his way over to him, now in a search for more information on his match with Moxie. He nudges the guy with his crutch before putting on a smile and asking.
Cassinova: Uh, hey you! Did you.. er... hear about my match with Moxie at the PPV?
Awkwardly Feminine or Potentially Canadian Backstage Guy: Yes dear. Sorry to hear about it, as well. Can you last two hours?
Cassinova: ...I hope you're talking about in a match.
AFoPCBG: Yes...
Cassinova: Oh, okay. Cool... Wait, TWO HOURS?! Why would I need to be able to do THAT?!
AFoPCBG: I'unno... maybe it would have something to do with that two-hour ironman match you have at the PPV, eh?
Cassinova: WHAT?!
AFoPCBG: You're kidding. You don't know? Well, Toom E. wanted to do something big... and unfortunately it was at your expense. He booked you and Moxie in a two-hour ironman match for your title.
Cassinova: WHAT?!
AFoPCBG: Yeah... that was the last I heard about it. Sorry man. Good luck.
The guy pats Cassinova on the back and walks away. Cass stares straight forward as if he was still standing there.
Cassinova: ...WHAT?!
Jack sighs and leans against a wall as Cassinova continues down the hall. Now frowning, he just wants to make it back to his hotel and pack up for his trip. He begins to walk forward, until a young employee of about 18 or so runs up to him and taps him on the shoulder.
Young Dude: Mr. Clearwater, did you hear the news?
Cassinova: Hm... wow, now that I'm on the other end of that question, I see how that can be annoying...
Young Dude: Eh, sure. But did you?
Cassinova: Let's see... I'm going on a three-day trip to Europe with Jewelry tomorrow because she lost her match at Old School, and I have a two-hour ironman match with Moxie to look forward to when I get back because Toom E. can't draw in business by hiring swimsuit models like a normal person. That about cover everything?
Young Dude: About... but there's also a rumor going around that Dorf upped the ante of the match, making it falls count anywhere, no holds barred, and first blood rules.
Cassinova blinks.
Cassinova: A... two-hour first blood hardcore ironman match against Moxie?
Young Dude: Well, he actually shortened it to a thirty-minute match.
Cassinova: Who the hell cares! I'm on crutches! That will KILL me!
Young Dude: Hey, don't yell at me, dude. I'm just the messenger...
The employee shrugs.
Young Dude: I'm just the messenger.
He turns and walks away as Cassinova's eye twitches. Taking some time to breathe, he plants the image of Juri being stripped to her underwear a couple months ago firmly in his mind, and uses it to keep pressing on. He places his crutches on the ground and hops forward, slowly passing by a group of EWT staff. He decides to not say anything to them in hopes of getting no further bad news, and hopes no one else approaches him. He sees the door to his lockerroom a little ways down the hall, and speeds up a bit to get to it faster. As he gets closer, a door in front of him suddenly opens, and Sum Guy walks out soon after.
Sum: God, that stench is never going to go aw--... Hey Cass!
Cassinova grumbles and pushes past Sum, who runs in front of him to stop him.
Sum: Hey, wait. What's wrong?
Cassinova: Leave me alone... I have to prepare for my vacation before I have to overcome the odds yet again.
Sum: Oh yeah. Big triple threat coming up.
Cassinova: ...Huh?
Sum: You know, your PPV match. Two-hour ironman match...
Cassinova: I thought it was a half-hour match!
Sum: That was just a rumor. Let me guess, you thought it was hardcore first-blood as well, didn't you?
Cassinova: Wait, so it's not? Ugh, who cares! This is worse! A two-hour ironman triple-threat match for my title... while I'm on crutches! Why?! What did I do?!
Sum: I'unno, I s'pose Toom E. just wanted to spice up the PPV a little bit. Sucks that it had to be you who payed for it... and plus, he seemed to be pretty biased towards Moxie in this one.
Cassinova: Ugh! I hate this! Who's the other guy?
Sum: Chad Michaels.
Time stops. The color drains from Cassinova's face. Glass around them shatters. Cut to the car-crash from Mick Foley's titantron.
Cassinova: WHAT?!?!
Sum: Yeah. Well, at least it was someone deserving.
Cassinova: What the hell are you talking about?! The only significant thing Chad Michaels has ever done in his career was get beaten by me! Now they want to put him in this match so I can make him famous?! I'm sick of this guy living off of my success! I don't even know why he has a contract here! He's a vampire that feeds off of the charisma and success of others! He's no title contender! He's just some talentless bisexual who's famous for no reason! He's the Jeffree Star of EWT! He's... ugggghhhh!!!
Cassinova looks about ready to throw a fit, but instead spares Sum Guy the viciousness of it all and pushes past him, dead-set on making it to his lockerroom. Jack Jupiter stays with Sum and begins to talk to him, while the camera follows Cass down the hall and outside of his lockerroom. He sighs and puts his hand on the handle, ready to open the door and step inside into the sanctity of his own personal space, when the door suddenly opens for him. Cass loses his balance and almost falls, when the EWT employee who was inside his lockerroom rushes out and holds him up.
I Think I'll Call Him Matt: Woah, sorry man. Are you all right?
Cassinova: Get the hell off of me! What's wrong with you?!
Matt: I'm really sorry. I was just in your lockerroom looking for you. Toom E. told me to tell you that he got your memo about being unable to wrestle until the PPV because of your knee. He just wanted me to tell you that that's fine... but you aren't getting paid for each week you don't wrestle.
Cass' face has shown much irritation up until now, but it suddenly shows nothing. Save for the occasional eyelid twitch, he doesn't show any emotion at all. He stares straight-forward into space, and loses all projection and vindiction in his voice.
Cassinova: Please remove your hands from my body, thank you.
The man does so, and Cassinova nods at him before opening the door of his lockerroom and making his way inside. The camera follows him inside, and he doesn't seem to mind much. The door shuts behind them, and Cassinova stands still for a while, staring at the ceiling. He takes a deep breathe in and exhales, before looking over at the camera to his side. He blinks a few times at it, and beckons for it to come closer as he lays his crutches down and takes a seat in a fold-up chair. The camera gets about five feet away from him, and films as he puts his face into his hands in thought. After a while of reflection, he looks up at the camera, and somehow manages to smirk slightly...
Cassinova: You know... when I first came here, I met Toom E. Talked about how my tenure would be, and how secure my contract is, and how EWT isn't like all of the other places I've been.
"We're not some political, cut-throat corporation like those other federations that hired you. We won't try and screw you over. We despise that as much as you do."
One of his many yes-men said that to me the day they hired me. Sadly, I believed him. As soon as I signed that contract, I had a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach... like... I felt as if I just sold my soul. I ignored this literal gut feeling and went on with my life without another thought. Enjoying being paid well, having fun traveling to different cities and countries. All of that glamourous stuff you hear about, I was living it. It was like a dream... but now it's like a nightmare. I get put in crazy gimmick matches month after month after month. Cage matches. Falls Count Anywhere. Ladder Matches. They even tried to book me in a Scaffold Match once. And now this? A two-hour triple threat ironman match? Against two guys who have done nothing to deserve this over the past couple of months? It's just... I went through so much to get this title, and even more to keep it. Now that I have it... they're just giving shots out to random thugs in hopes that someone will finally beat me for this belt. I guess something about me just interferes with the main route EWT is trying to go down. They have to get me off the market quickly. I can already tell that all of these so-called "legends", and the "higher-ups" just see me as a little fly, who's resting against the brick wall of management for protection. They believe that I need them, so they can use me as a puppet.. a pawn in their little games and do whatever they want with me. Well, I'll go on record this day and tell everyone that I am not that. I'm not going to play any of your games, and I'm not going to let anyone break me. You all can keep stacking everything against me, but I won't bend for any of you, and no weapon turned against me shall prosper. I am not a hardcore wrestler, people... but I'll do anything to keep this title. Maybe my EWT tenure is just a chance to show my true potential in any given situation throw at me. I don't know. Maybe I'm just rambling.
Toom E., you specifically... I want you to pay close attention to this screen. You and Dorf both. 50% ownership, 100% ownership, 1000% ownership--it doesn't matter. I'm a human being. I'm a man. I will not let any of you push me around and test my limits until I die in that ring attempting to please you. They wonder why wrestlers resort to steroids, and why they're alcoholics, and why everyone is always so stressed out. It's because their owners are constantly wanting them to be stronger, look better, work harder, make them more money. Toom E. and Dorf are just fighting to see who is going to make more money and put on a "better show." Well, we're not unbreakable... we have normal human bodies. Us putting on a "better show", means that we'll have to go to a "better hospital" and purchase "better painkillers" for the rest of our lives, because every time we take a step forward, we feel as if we're "going to die." I'm done with asking you, because I can see right now that everyone up at the top hates me for some reason--maybe I came up too fast in this company, I don't know--right now I'm telling you: stop screwing with me, or else I swear you'll regret it. I'll gladly allow for you to sue me for everything I'm worth if it means I get to get away from the hell hole. It's just such a pity that my dream has become such a nightmare...
Now, my opponents, who may not feel as if I'm a threat. I don't see how... they've both seen me, heard me, fought me, and lost. In case you two have forgotten who I am lately... I am Cassidy Clearwater, your Ox-Division Champion... and there's no chance in hell I'm losing to either one of you. Despite the obvious bias in the command center of EWT, I promise to everyone who is listening to me right now that I will walk out of there with this championship still belonging to me. Moxie is so washed-up, it's about time for him to try and get a TNA contract. Chad Michaels is so small of a threat that third-graders steal his lunch money on the daily... and yet, I'm s'posed to go two hours with these guys, putting on a showstopper, making us all look good. Christ... even on crutches I could devastate these two guys--and I'll do just that. As millions watch and millions gasp at the spectacle, I'll remind everyone that I'm not the champion for no reason. I've yet to hear a descent thing come out of either Moxie or Chad's mouths on the matter of the match, so they're either really nonchalant about their inevitable defeat, or mentally preparing for it. Again, I feel like I'm the only person who wants this belt. Sometimes I miss feuding with ol' Feathers McFailure. At least he wanted to win...
Again, maybe I'm just rambling. Toom E... Dorf... Moxie... Chad, even that Synthy chick who I swore I wouldn't talk about any longer because she doesn't need the publicity... you all are really testing me right about now. With all of these people trying to make me feel small... maybe I am. I don't know. Maybe this will prove to be too much, and one of you will finally break me. Maybe my first year in EWT will be my last. Maybe my last in wrestling... I can't really say for sure. We'll just have to see...
Cassinova's lip snarls upward, as he slowly stands out of his chair, leaving his crutches on the ground.
Cassinova: ...No, we won't. I'm not going to let any of you ruin me. This is my life... My career... My title. And none of you will be able to take this away from me! No amount of scars you can put on me, physically or mentally, will stray me from the fact that I am destined for greatness! This isn't for no reason that I have to be subjected to all of this. This is my awakening! This is where you all will really see what I can do when there's no other choice than to fight every battle that comes my way! You all think that you'll win, that you'll be the one to finally extinguish my flame and put me out for good! You want to be that wall to my fly! Well, surprise! I am the one who's going to have to be overcome around here! The tables have turned and the roles are reversed! You all are but flies to me, idiotically heading at me full speed! And I swear to you, I swear to God, I will show you what it's like when a fly hits a brick wall!
Cassinova whips around, facing away from the camera. Angrily, he picks up his crutches and walks towards the door, turning and leaning on the wall next to it. He rests his head back on it and closes his eyes, sighing. Shortly after, the door slowly opens as Jack Jupiter pokes his head inside the room.
Jack Jupiter: ...Cass?
Cassinova: (Sighing once more.) Grab my bags, Jack. I need this vacation more than anything in the world right now...
Jack nods and enters the room. The camera zooms a bit closer to Cass' face, to show that his deep blue eyes have lost a bit of shine, becoming cold and shallow. He frowns and closes his eyes, resting his head back on the wall once more as we...
Fade to commercial.
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Smarky
Mike the Goon
Posts: 14
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Post by Smarky on Sept 2, 2007 1:09:43 GMT -5
[Jonnie Sparks is backstage, talking on a cell phone the size of a Chiclet, a la Zoolander] Sparks: [Talking on the phone] Uh huh...yeah? Married? Wait...to who? [As Sparks receives the news, the color drains from his face and a look of disbelief appears on his face. He slowly lowers the phone and shuts it, staring off into space. As if on cue, Tard Grisham walks on camera, munching on a Danish] Tard: [Between chews] Hey Jonnie. What's shakin? [Silence] Tard: Umm...Jonnie? [Silence] Tard: Oh god, are you on another bad trip? JONNIE! COME BACK! [Jonnie finally manages to react] Jonnie: Tard...have you ever felt such strong emotions that you forgot how to exist? Tard: Well...there was this one time in college... Jonnie: Rhetorical question, Tard. Excuse me for a moment, I have...to take care of something. [Jonnie slowly retreats from view, vanishing through a door marked "Bathroom". For the next few minutes, an odd combination of screaming, vomiting, and sobbing can be heard. Tard patiently waits, checking his watch] Tard: [To camera] You know, you don't have to stick around for this. [The camera fades out] Commercial.[Fade back in, with Tard and Sparks, looking rather pleasent, except for a cut over his forehead] Tard: So...what happened there? Sparks: I smashed my head into a sink. Tard: Ah. Sparks: So anyway, what's this I hear about that Valentine dude challenging me? Tard: Um...he challenged you to a match. Sparks: Not a real stickler for details are you? Tard: Nope. Sparks: Fair enough. Well, what am I supposed to do? Tard: Well...I'm no expert on your psyche...but I'd say talk some trash? Sparks: Works for me. Well, Valentine, I just have one question to ask you. Why? Why do you feel you have to fight the battles of your boyfr...sorry....life partner Davidson? I'm not understanding the logic here. I mean, if you keep babying her like this, she'll never grow up into the big girl that she always wanted to be. She won't know what training bra to buy, or exactly what shade of eyeliner will look best for that cute boy in her math class, or anything that matters in life. But I digress here. I'll do you a favor, Valentine...or Viper...or whatever the hell name you're going by lately. At least I stuck with my name change. I'll do you this one favor, Valentine. I'll go through with your little match. We'll use it as a little...warm-up for our Pay-Per-View respective matches. And let that British twat know that if he comes within 100 feet of me during that match, I'll take that pool cue and make him eat it like the phallic symbol that it truly is. [Sparks turns to Tard] Sparks: How would you rank that one? Tard: I'd say about an 8 out of 10. Too many homosexual jabs for my taste. Sparks: Well, I'll remember to work on that. In the meantime...viewers of EWT...go screw yourselves. [Sparks dons his trademark aviator sunglasses and walks off camera] [Fade out]
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Post by Tha Kid Joker on Sept 2, 2007 8:01:41 GMT -5
The camera fades into an image of the famous Clock Tower in London, England. The clock strikes three, and the hand-held camera immediately zooms out to show two people standing in front of the building. The red-headed one keeps her distance from the blonde one, while the blonde just grins excitedly and points to the Tower.
Cassinova: Hey! I'm Cassidy Clearwater... this is Jewelry Sadanokio... and we're in London, England!
"So Here We Are" by Bloc Party plays as the screen cuts to black, before white letters fade in:
Cassinova and Juri - Day One: London
The song and screen abruptly cut off as we go back to the two. Cassinova looks at Juri with glee, as she looks away with her arms folded.
Cassinova: So... where are we going first?
Juri: Do we have to be together the whole time?
Cassinova: Yes...
...
Juri: Where's the pub?
The screen cuts to Cassinova, sitting on the steps of a building by himself. This seems to be footage taken earlier as some kind of "confessional" or interview. He looks nervous and uneasy as he talks into the camera.
Cassinova: Eh heh... I'm... not too sure about how today's going to go. Last night didn't exactly go as I had planned it...
Alex Shelley: (Speaking and revealing himself to be the holder of the camera.) Well, what happened?
Cassinova: What happened? You remember. You were there...
The screen cuts to footage of Juri and Cassinova standing in front of what looks to be a large, ruined, medieval castle. It's almost pitch-black outside, and bats fly in and out of the old ruins at their hearts desire. A few dramatic claps of thunder are heard as lightning flashes, but this does not take away from the joy in Cass' face.
Juri: ....Cass....?
Cassinova looks over at her, grinning brightly.
Cassinova: Yes?
She returns his smile with a confused look.
Juri: It's getting late... Why are we at an old castle? Shouldn't we be at a hotel of some sort?
Cassinova practically shakes with anticipation of how much Juri's going to love him for this.
Cassinova: ..Jewels.. babe... this is the hotel.
Juri seems stricken with a loss of words briefly. But the sheer excitement of Cassinova gives a few.
Juri: ...What you are smoking? Do you know how cold these things get?
Cassinova: Well I guess we'll just have to huddle up then, won't we?
Juri: ...Touch me at all and I'll rip IT off.
Cassinova: ...My shirt?
The screen cuts back to Cass' interview on the steps, and he looks dumbfounded at how things went the way that they did.
Cassinova: I mean... I just... I don't know what happened. Everything was going fine, until we actually tried to check in. That's when... things got a little weird...
The screen switches from Cass to footage of Juri sitting on the interview steps, face in her hands. She shakes her head for a while without saying anything, before the screen goes back to footage of them walking up to the medieval style castle. Cassinova stops outside the door, attempting to lay his crutches to the side to kindly open the door for Juri. He attempts to keep his balance while pulling hard on the large wooden doors, but they won't budge. As he strains, Juri pushes him to the side and opens one of the doors herself, walking into the castle and shutting the door behind her.
Alex Shelley goes over to help Cassinova up as the screen cuts to the inside of the castle, about two minutes later in time than the last clip. Cassinova and Juri stand at the visitor counter, waiting for a cashier to come and ring up a ticket for a three-night stay. Eventually, as soon as both aren't paying attention, a cashier seems to come out of nowhere, sporting old medieval clothes and talking with an Olde English accent.
Cashier: Why, 'ello ma'lord and ma'lady! How may I serve you?
Cassinova: Uh, yeah Frenchie... we're looking to buy some tickets? (He leans in and whispers.) It's kind of a special week for us.
Cashier: Oooh... why, all right then! I have just the thing! I assume that ma'lady chose this venue?
Juri: Right. I chose to stay at a run down stone shack that looks like it will collapse at any second. (Her sarcasm is obvious.) It's perfect. (She stares at Cass.) Fit just for a princess.
Cassinova smiles sweetly at her.
Cassinova: Anything for my Crown Jewels. Now... (Clears throat.) ...Where's our room key? I need to lie down after that long flight. I sat between a baby and an Armenian accountant. I. Need. Sleep!
Cashier: All right! Relax! Relax! You said it was a special night, cor'ect?
Cassinova: Ch'yeah.
Juri just rolls her eyes then parodies Cass with a stupid look on her face.
Juri: Fo' sure.
Cashier: Aye! Pip pip! That's the spirit!
He hands Cassinova a large metal key.
Cashier: There you are! Now, this isn't just any room. It was made just for... special nights. Have fun in there, and don't hurt yourselves, all right?
Cassinova: Yeah, sure thing. What's so special about this room, anyway?
Cashier: As if ma'lord didn't already know, aye?
The cashier laughs before walking away from the counter. Both Cass and Juri blink as he walks off, but Cass shrugs it off as he twirls the key in his hand.
Cassinova: Hmph... Chamber 11. I guess we'd better get to the room, then. Gotta' rest up for all of our fun tomorrow.
Juri: (Sighing.) Might as well... I seriously hope you know what you are doing here.
Cassinova: Of course I do. What's the worst that could happen?
Juri: ...No comment.
The camera cuts back to Cassinova sitting on the stairs and recollecting on the day. He facepalms as he thinks about it.
Cassinova: God... "What's the worst that could happen?" ...Why did I have to say that?
The screen goes to Juri's interview, also sitting on the steps.
Juri: Why did he have to say that?
The camera cuts to the pair, standing outside of a large black metal door with a huge keyhole in it. They look semi-confused at the structure, before Cassinova scratches the back of his neck and hands the key to Juri.
Cassinova: I think I'll let you do the honors, Love.
Juri: How polite of you... (She shakes her head and tries to find the keyhole.)
After a minute of searching she finds it. Inserting the key, she sighs before turning it with her uninjured hand. A loud click is heard.
Juri: Gimps first.
Cassinova: Cute and funny. I like that.
He pushes the door open and hops his way in. Using his crutches to move him forward, he looks around at the cold, gloomy room, wondering if this was the right one.
Cassinova: What is this? This can't be it. This is... this is a dungeon. There's no carpet... I can't see anything... babe, could you turn on a light?
Juri: (Nerved.) I'm not your babe... (Pause.) ...What light?
Cassinova: ...There is a light switch in here, isn't there?
She facepalms herself with her left hand.
Juri: I don't know why I thought you would at least be capable to research hotels. You're dragging me all these places against my will and the least you could do provide a decent place to sleep.
Long pause.
Cassinova: ...There's no light switch, is there?
Longer pause.
Juri: There's no bed, is there?
The camera cuts back to the interview, where it's Cass' turn to sit in silence and deep thought. He closes his eyes and shakes his head, trying to forget all about the disaster, before the screen cuts back to the castle cell.
Cassinova: Ehem... no problem. We'll just make due with what we have. Ah ha! See! See! They left us a torch! Now if I can just light it... (Attempts to light it for a bit, finally getting it after about thirty seconds.) There we go! Now, let's see what we have... oh...
Shelley moves the camera around, showing exactly what makes this room so... special.
Torture racks are scattered around the room. Whips line the walls. Various pieces of medieval bondage clothing line the floors. Cass looks all around himself, placing the torch in a holder on the wall. Picking his crutches up and pushing them forward and an attempt to walk, he almost sleeps on a red mouth-gag and hops back as far away from it as possible.
Cassinova: Ugh! What the hell is this?!
Juri struggles to stifle a laugh despite herself. Cassinova looks over at her.
Cassinova: Oh, I'm glad you're laughing, because I think I found our bed.
He points to the side, where the camera pans to a rusty Bed of Nails laying on the floor.
Quickly, the laughter stops. Immediately after, she matter-of-factly turns with her bag and heads out the door. Cassinova quickly follows, almost slipping his crutches on the gag once more as he stumbles out of the chamber. Placing a crutch in front of her to stop her, he frowns and looks over his shoulder a few times.
Cassinova: Look, Jewels... I know this may seem bad... but, we can make this work. You can lay on my luggage for comfort, and we can huddle up for warmth... (He notices a killer stare from the Joshi) ...Or... you could wear some extra clothes!
The camera goes back to Cass' post-night interview.
Cassinova: Ugh... "Where some extra clothes!" I say! I might as well just put a chastity belt on her! (He growls.) ...I... I don't want to talk about it...
The screen switches back to Cass and Juri, laying on the chamber floor amidst hundreds of sexually devious toys and clothing articles. Cassinova sports seven progressively bigger shirts to keep his warmth, while Juri wears a tank top, a t-shirt, and long-sleeved shirt, and a light parka. The two each have their own bag of clothes to lie on--both bags belonging to Cassinova. They face away from each other, arms folded, pouting.
Cassinova: Hm.. so... sweet dreams?
Juri: ....Never say that again.
Cassinova: ...'Kay.
We go back to Cass sitting on the steps and groaning in disgust at the way the night before went.
Cassinova: Ugh, it was a disaster. No play at all. Cold. Dark. Just... just a disaster. She wouldn't even let me touch her.
Cut to Juri's interview.
Juri: Can you believe he tried to touch me? That threat wasn't empty. And that line he used was not something I needed to hear. I'm already in a crappy situation, I didn't need a reminder of another bad situation.
Shelley: Yeah, that's all fine and dandy, but I had to go to my luxurious, five-star hotel after you two went to sleep, so I missed a lot of footage.. so.. be honest... what happened after I left?
Juri: (Looks pissed off at him.) Why didn't you take me with you?!
Shelley: You never asked.
Juri: ...Should have known.
The camera cuts back to Cass' interview, where he has finally built up a smile.
Cassinova: Well regardless of all of that, regardless of the past, and the kink in my neck, and my sore back, and my painful injuries--and this is just from sleeping on that floor--today will be better! I guarantee it!
The screen goes back to Juri's interview.
Shelley: So, how do you think today is going to go?
Juri: Horrible.
We cut to footage of the two walking along a sidewalk, with many expensive clothing, jewelry, and perfume shops to the right side.
Cassinova: This is the most famous shopping strip in all of London, Jewelry. It's called.... er... well, I don't know what it's called, but I'm going to let you pick any one of these stores, and I'll buy you everything you ever wanted out of them.
Juri: How about a ticket home? Or maybe an actual mattress?
Cassinova: Uh... or maybe something useful like a $200,000 necklace?
Juri: How would that be useful?
Cassinova: Well... may not be useful for you. Useful for me. The birds flock for that kind of stuff.
Juri: Let me get this straight... You want to buy something for me... which is really for you... so you can get some cheap sex from desperate women?
The two walk for a bit, while Cassinova seems to actually be pondering this question.
Cassinova: Yes... Yes I do.
Juri: ...I'd like a drink. Unless you are going to be the one to drink it.
Cassinova: ...You... drink...?
Juri: You have no idea.
Cassinova sighs.
Cassinova: Well... if it makes you happy... but just one.
Juri: One will do.
The camera immediately cuts to a different Cassinova interview, this one taking place at night--apparently after this "date" has ended.
Cassinova: Ugh! How the hell was I supposed to know that they sold 120 oz. beers at English pubs?!
Cut to Juri in the same interview placement as Cass with a smile on her face.
Juri: I love England.
The screen now cuts to a local bar, where Juri is downing a huge mug of beer. Cassinova looks at her, wide-eyed, as she sets the drink down on the table with a thud and looks over at him.
Juri: What? You've never seen a girl drink before?
Cassinova: I... I...
He thinks for a second.
Cassinova: ...You wouldn't happen to be drunk, would you?
Juri: Not yet. (Downs the rest of the rather large mug.) But I'm on my way.
Cassinova: You know, I don't really approve of dri... say what, now?
Cassinova slams his fist on the table.
Cassinova: Waiter! Two more hefty boys, please!
Juri: That's the first thing you said during this whole trip that I actually like. But... I won't drink another one... until you finish one.
Cassinova: Me? Drink? Sorry, Jewelry, but I'm not too fond of having a pint of poison running through my veins...
Out of nowhere, she places a finger on his lips. She leans in close to his face and pouts while staring deeply into his eyes.
Juri: But...Cass... I can't drink without someone drinking with me. Do it... for me? Please?
Cassinova's lip trembles, and his eyelid twitches. Having not the train of thought to even speak, he merely gives a single slow nod of the head. She flashes a big smile and lets her finger trace down his lips before pulling it back.
Juri: Alright. Drink up.
The waiter reaches their table, handing them their two drinks. Cassinova looks from his drink, to the circles tattooed on the back of his hands, to Juri... and gulps. After taking a while to mentally prepare himself, he slowly lifts the mug off of the table, moves it closer to his lips... squeezes his eyes shut...
...And takes a tiny little sip.
Cassinova: (Slamming the rest of the drink back down on the table.) Whew! That sure was delicious! Mmm mmm mmmm! I might have to start drinkin'! Well, time for you to finish yours!
She sighs and pushes her drink away.
Juri: I was wanting to share something I really liked with you... (Sultrily.) ...Cass..i..dy... (Back to her normal voice.) But I guess not. Well, you don't have to then. After all, when I get drunk... I lose all ability to think clearly. And we don't want that...
Cassinova's eyelid now twitches wildly, and his hand begins to shiver and quake uncontrollably. Losing all ability to control it, his right hand moves slowly towards the beer mug, picking it up and bringing it to his mouth. He holds his nose at the disgusting smell of the beer, but decides it's for the better good. A few seconds later, to the shock of many, Cassinova begins to slowly but surely down the beer.
Juri: (Smirking.) Wow, I never noticed how... Cute you are. That is, until I saw you downing that drink in your hand.
Cassinova is now downing this thing in record speed. A waiter with a stop-watch has come up beside him and bar patrons are cheering him on. After but a few seconds, he slams the empty mug on the bar table and the patrons look anxiously at the waiter.
Waiter: ...16 seconds flat! We have a new record!
The patrons of the bar cheer and throw objects in the air, as Cassinova looks as if he's going to die. Smirking to herself now more than anyone else, Juri grabs her drink and takes a quick sip.
Juri: Ooo. I'm done.
Cassinova blinks at her once and looks kind of stressed, as well as nauseous.
Cassinova: Don't you want to finish the rest of that?
Juri: No, I'm okay. I was fine with the first one.
Cassinova makes a gagging sound and covers his mouth as his cheeks puff out, before rising from the table and frantically running into the men's bathroom.
Immediately after, we cut to the post-date interview with Juri.
Juri: I was wrong. This day was great.
Cass' interview is now shown.
Cassinova: Okay, well... I had my share of mis--
He is cut off by the sudden urge to puke. He swiftly and immediately does so on the stairs beside him, and the camera cuts away to a later interview clip.
Cassinova: I'm fine now, seriously. What was I saying? Oh yeah, I had my share of misfortunes today... but up until that point right there, Juri hadn't yet seen my "secret weapon."
The screen cuts to a fancy restaurant dead in the center of London. Cassinova and Juri stand on the outside of it, preparing to go inside.
Cassinova: You're going to love me for this.
Juri: We're going to drink more beer?
Cassinova runs to the side of the building to further vomit, and the screen cuts to the same venue about fifteen minutes later. Cassinova and Juri are now inside of the restaurant, looking around and realizing that a glass of water probably costs $25.
Cassinova: Hey... so, like, you stand here and get our tables set up. I have to run back outside to.. uh... get something. I'm taking Alex with me, so... uh... bye for now!
With that, Cassinova attempts to get Alex to come with him outside. Alex Shelley has other plans and tells him he'd be out there in a second, and wants to film Juri's reaction first. Cassinova shrugs and hops outside with his crutches as Alex films Juri.
Juri: ...I'm indifferent.
Shelley: Oh. Kthnxbye.
Alex Shelley turns and struts outside of the building, where he sees Cassinova talking with a hooded figure. He picks up his camera and films this, moving closer as he does... close enough to catch sight of a long trail of bright, fuchsia colored hair streaming from underneath the hood...
Cassinova: (Looking back at Shelley.) Man, get over here! You aren't supposed to be filming!
Shelley: The camera's off! I swear!
Cassinova: Fine, well get over here! I can't leave you in there with Jewelry alone. She might use her Mexican mind games to turn you against me... Anyway, you, rainbow bright...
Hooded Figure: Before we even start, give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you..
Cassinova: Erm, because homicide is illegal and it'll breach your contract?
Hooded Figure: There is no contract... that thing was abolished last month at Old School, remember? You did it yourself...
Cassinova: Ch'ya, but you breached it before I abolished it. That still counts.. well, maybe it doesn't, but nobody is going to tell me otherwise, so... you're going to have to do this if you love your job.
The person in the hood removes the coat and tosses it to the ground in a heap, revealing themselves to be none other than Synthy Eris.
Synthy: I'm almost to the point where I refuse to put up with this, you coward. But... (She tries to keep him from seeing her smirk.) ...I'll do it.
Cassinova: You... you will? (He seems genuinely shocked. Because you know, he expected that she flew all the way over to Britain to refuse to help him.) ...There's something else to this, I know it.
Synthy shrugs.
Synthy: I have my reasons. You want what I think you want, right? Tips on getting Juri to love you?
Cassinova: Yeah...
Synthy: Frickin' 'ey, I can supply that. I see you followed my advice on what restaurant to go to.
Cassinova: Yeah...
Synthy: For a complete idiot, you sure know what orders to follow. All right, anyway, here's what you do...
[To Be Continued]
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Post by Tha Kid Joker on Sept 2, 2007 8:01:59 GMT -5
[Continued]
The screen cuts to the front of the restaurant, about three minutes later. Alex Shelley carries the camera and walks behind Cassinova and the "mysterious hooded figure", who takes a table right next to the one Juri picked out. Cassinova limps into the frame soon after, taking his seat across from Juri and smiling sweetly.
Cassinova: Miss me, baby?
Juri: I was enjoying my privacy actually.
Cassinova: ...Enjoying your privacy? Uh... (He thinks to himself: "I'm losing her! What did Synthy tell me to say...?") Erm... hm... sorry about the injuries you suffered in that match with Synthy...
Juri: Match with Synthy? Oh, do you mean the one that you interfered in? Or the other one that you interfered in?
Cassinova: Shoot. Probably shouldn't have reminded you of that... But hey, I heard they sell top-notch eye patches around here. You could buy one to cover up those stitches on your eyebrow.
Juri: ...
Cassinova: Er, whoops. Maybe I'm not saying the lines right...
Juri: What lines?
Cassinova: ...No lines. Why are we even talking about this? Let's get back to having fun. Did you miss me?
Juri: You already asked me that. I was enjoying my privacy...
Cassinova: Oh... Well, I guess that's understandable. Hard to love someone when they're constantly breathing down your neck, right Princess?
Juri: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!
Cassinova: (Eyes darting from Juri, to Synthy sitting at the next table, and back to Juri) ...Princess?
Without a second thought, she hurls her $25 glass of water right in his face.
Juri: Never. Say. That. To. Me. AGAIN.
Cassinova blinks, now covered with overpriced tapwater and really confused.
Cassinova: But... she said... I thought... I... I'm sorry...
Juri: Who said?
Cassinova's eyes dart towards the person in the hood once more, eventually settling back on Juri.
Cassinova: ...No one... I just... I'm sorry.
She sighs and sits back down.
Juri: Can we just get something quick? I'm starving.
Cassinova: Sure... the.. waiter will probably be here soon...
As if on cue, a waiter who looks like Bam Margera--only he's not--walks up to the table.
Not Bam Margera: Hello and good evening to you both. What would you be ordering today?
Cassinova: Eh... (Brain still kind of dead)...I'll... take what she's having.
Juri: I'd like a steak, I don't care what cut. Cooked rare. As for the side dishes, surprise me. 'Kay?
Not Bam Margera: Anything to drink?
Juri: Ale.
Not Bam Margera: I'm sorry, this is a respectable resturant. We only serve fine wines or water.
Juri: (Crestfallen.) Water works.
Cassinova: Wait wait wait wait wait... slow down... did you just say "rare steak"?
Juri: I'm hungry now. I don't have time to wait.
Cassinova: I... did say that I wanted whatever you ordered...
The screen cuts to Cass' interview.
Cassinova: What the hell was I thinking?! I should've known she was going to order meat! Ugh, this is Synthy's fault! She told me it'd be polite to order whatever Jewelry ordered! Gah!
Cut to Juri's interview
Juri: I really like medium rare the most. Yet I was hungry. And I heard Cass doesn't like meat. How could I turn down the chance to put him in his place?
We go back to the footage from the restaurant, where Cassinova is hoping that Juri doesn't find out about him being a vegetarian. She probably thinks he's enough of a chump as it is from the whole beer fiasco...
Cassinova: So.. erm... why rare...?
Juri: Well... I love blood. And I love to taste blood. Nothing is better than cutting into a slab of beef and watching the blood flow out. Then I rip it apart with my teeth and just allow the flesh to fill my stomach.
There's a long pause between the two, while Cass slowly begins to lose all color in his face. The pale slowly turns into a greenish color, and Cassinova quickly jumps up, leaves his crutches, and runs to the men's bathroom without saying a word.
As he's away, Juri flags down the waiter.
Juri: Excuse me, my male companion wanted me to tell you that he wanted his steak raw. If fact, if you just bring out a steak without cooking it... He'd love it.
Not Bam Margera: As you wish, Miss.
She beams to nobody as she waits for Cass to come back.
We cut back to Cassinova, sitting on the steps in the dead of night.
Cassinova: And can you believe those idiots had the nerve to bring me the steak RAW?! What the hell is wrong with this country?!
We go back to the restaurant, where Cassinova slowly makes his way out of the bathroom, stumbling and walking woozily. He eventually makes it back to his table and sits down, allowing his exhausted head to slam fast-first into the table...
...Luckily for said table, the slab of raw beef separates Cass' head from hitting the table itself.
He slowly raises his face out of the steak, blinking a couple of times and looking down on the bloody chunk of flesh. Feeling and smelling the blood on his face and neck, he sits in shock for a long time, before immediately bolting back into the bathroom. A few snickers can be heard out of the person in the hood sitting next to Juri, but that person quickly stifles themselves so the Joshi won't recognize their laugh.
Post date Interview of Juri:
Juri: You know I was so hungry, at one point I thought I heard a familar voice at the table. Yet, I didn't focus on it because I had to struggle to keep from falling to the floor in laughter.
We cut to Cassinova's interview, where he looks to be seething.
Cassinova: ...What I did was completely justified... I just... I just lost it...
The screen cuts back to the restaurant, where gasps are heard as Cassinova comes angrily out of the bathroom, about thirty minutes after entering. He grabs glasses off of people's tables and throws them against the restaurant walls, as the waiters contemplate calling the authorities.
Making a beeline toward the table next to Juri, he immediately snatches the hood off of Synthy's head and begins to scream at her.
Cassinova: You did this! You and your stupid advice! It's all your fault! You tried to ruin everything!
Synthy half smirks, half scowls as she quickly stands from her seated position to get into Cassinova's face.
Synthy: Yeah, I did. I gave you false advice. I told you to take her to a non-alcoholic establishment, order what she ordered, call her "Princess", all of that. I'm just surprised you weren't dumb enough to actually say some of the other things I told you to say. But regardless, go ahead and blame it all on me. I want to be the cause of your pain, Cassidy.
Cassinova: (Seething.) Why are you doing this? Can't you accept that I had the one-up on you because of your contract obligations?
Synthy: Hah... of course not. You fail to realize that no amount of legal mumbo-jumbo in the world will change that I'm just far cleverer than you, my dear foe. So, I do believe it is I who has the one-up.
Cassinova: Oh yeah?! You think so?! Well, guess what?! I have the one-up, because I KNEW you would try and do this! That's why I warned Juri before the date to disregard everything I did wrong on this date and act like I was doing the OPPOSITE, because you're the one who told me to do it just to screw up my chances!
Juri: ...No you didn't.
Cassinova snaps.
Cassinova: Damnit, I knew I forgot to do something.
He frowns and looks defeated.
Cassinova: So... ehem... no play tonight, huh?
Juri: That's a big N-O.
Cassinova: I assumed as much. Well, it was worth a try. Tomorrow will be better.
He spreads his arms.
Cassinova: Can I at least have a hug?
Juri: You can pay the bill. I'm leaving. Synthy, let's go for a bit.
She begins to walk away but not before turning her head. She speaks begrudgingly.
Juri: I'll come back to the 'hotel' later.
Cassinova frowns at the two, and barely manages to whisper out a "Bye..." as they walk away. As he is being filmed, a voice is heard from behind the camera.
Shelley: Aw, don't worry about them, man. I'm still here for you.
Cassinova turns towards the camera, arms still spread apart. He clenches his fists and tenses his muscles, giving a stern look.
Cassinova: Power hug?
Shelley lays the camera on a table and spreads his arms just like Cass, approaching slowly and embracing in a strong, manly hug. "And Here We Are" plays once more as the screen goes black--shortly before white letters fade back in:
To be continued...
An emotional, over-dramatic, "Why doesn't she want me, man?!" is heard from Cassinova, as we...
Fade to commercial.
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Post by crauswell on Sept 2, 2007 10:01:47 GMT -5
We fade in, as we see the sight of a very dark looking furry, who is once again in the Cidal Force locker room, which is quite empty. He sits silently on the floor, giving off a very ominous presence just sitting there. Below him, is a familiar mountain of plush creatures, which we all can assume what this guy does with. He rubs silently over his plastic beak a bit, looking down at the pile it seems.
Crauswell: In a few weeks... I will have found out which fool was stupid enough to accept my invitation to hell for Skies the Limit II. In those few weeks, I will discover which man I will have to annihilate to prove the superiority of the Cidal Squad, for my master Andy Duke, for my comrade Johnathan Doe, and for my master's own supposed mate, Alexa King. I barely know any of these people, but they, along with our former ally Mike Ragnal, have proven to be the best companions I could ever ask for. People who don't judge me... people who don't puke at the thought of my life style... people that accept me for who I truly am.
The gryphon suited man nods softly, as he reaches down, crushing a gloved hand over that pile of stuffed animals the furry loves so much, as he slowly raises that hand, plucking out a trio of them. He pulls what looks like a large bright green frog close, slowly stroking over the thing's soft form, seemingly holding it close.
Crauswell: Andy Duke... you would be this frog here, a beautiful creature in it's own right, one that like you, strikes down helpless insects with mercy! Though your personality does strike me as a bit odd, in the end you are a true leader and one of my closest allies.
Crauswell sets this one at his side, reaching over and petting it again, then reaching back into his treasured pile, next extracting a stuffed brown bull, hugging this one close as well, as he gazes through those eyeholes at it.
Crauswell: Doe, you are what I would call, a bull. Powerful,uncaring, and quite destructive, almost as much as myself. Though you seem to have a bit of a serious facade and an angry streak, I can consider you as well, a worthy ally. I shall wish you and our leader glorious victory in those singles careers you are so dead set upon.
He pats this creature again, setting it on his side again, then pulling out a pink flamingo, certainly having the oddest collection of these things, as he looks at it simply.
Crauswell: Alexa King... I know nothing about you, but Andy Duke trusts you, so I have no resentment towards yourself. You seem like a fine young female. I would consider you to be like this flamingo here, a fellow avian like creature of myself, one of seeming beauty and power. Though I personally show no attraction towards you, I am quite certain others would think otherwise.
The gryphon simply sets this one aside, next to "Duke", as he pushes these three aside, leaving behind a pile of eight different creatures, as Crauswell's contentment quickly vanishes, the creature glaring angrily at these.
Crauswell: MY POSSIBLE OPPONENTS ARE NOTHING LIKE YOU THREE! Yes, these arrogant power hungry fools are to me, nothing more than obstacles which I will crash right through if need be! Let's look at the statistics of these. Three of these opponents are involved with other situations, one of them is of a female persuasion, though I would not hesitate to think that any of these events would prevent them from sending anyone of them after me! I don't particularly care if they want to pull double duties or not. If they want to stupidly wear themselves down and enter a ring to meet destruction even more easily, then I will let them do so. There is no reason to show such... HATEABLE enemies of allies like that any mercy!
Crauswell quickly snatches up an orange stuffed cat, holding it by the throat, as he seemingly gives it an almost deadly look of anger.
Crauswell: JOE ONE! You are nothing more than an overestimated, miserable feline, who cares only about his so called orders. You won your belt by a count out, one that I so wish I could've prevented. Now, like these selfish creatures, you have proclaimed superiority for such a cheap victory! I assure you that if you decide to accept, I will silence your arrogant mouth post haste!
The furry chucks it aside uncaringly, as he grabs another one, this one a gray mouse.
Crauswell: Your little rodent servant, Richard Clay, I don't fear him. He has more money than I, why should I care? He seems more likable then I, what importance is that?! I've seen this fool face a human scarecrow as if it was an actual opponent! He is a mere pest and rodent in my eyes, one that only listens to his leader out of fear! If Richard Clay is imbecilic enough to challenge me... I will beat him so badly, all the money in the world couldn't cheer him up!
Again, the furry chucks this one, which lands right atop the "Joe One" He picks up another pair, these of three peacocks it looks like, as he gazes over them all.
Crauswell: The proud flock of TJT... they seem to be the most proud members of the forest of Minipax. They are birds, so I can show them a bit of sympathy. There is no reason though for them to brag and brag and brag about how they defeated my allies for the tag team titles when they didn't even pin one of them! Instead, like the cowards they were, they took down the weaker pair... to gain such an empty victory! If any of you step into the ring with myself, I will spill your blue blood all over that canvas!
He quickly tosses them with the rest, next grabbing, a black gorilla. He looks at it.
Crauswell: Midnight Mystery... I know nothing of you and I don't even care. You seem like a mere simian to me, with great power, but no intelligence to know how to use it! If your keepers send you after me, I will tear you apart, no matter how hard you swing at me!
Crauswell again chucks this one aside, next grabbing a large pink pig.
Crauswell: Noah Rodgers... Redface Rodgers... whatever your title is, you may be a bit smart, but you seem to me as nothing more than lazy and guillable. You've been tainted by Joe One and forced to join his pathetic grouping, simply due to your lack of spirit. You may not be an idiot, but you are apparently stupid enough to be brainwashed! I'd almost feel sorry for you, but unfortunately if you are the one to accept, I will devour you like the worthless swine you are!
Crauswell tosses this one aside as well, finally grabbing the last one from the pile, looking at it with more hatred than the others. This one appears to be a simple oddly indigo colored dog
Crauswell: Finally... I come to you Christopher Indigo. You and I have come to blows before, WHEN YOU COST ME THAT GLORIOUS CROWN! You ambushed me from behind, allowing me to be eliminated by a miserable lucky failure! You, like Noah, were also corrupted by Joe One. Though instead of at least being as stubborn as he in your acceptance, you seem to have embraced it, following your miserable master like a loyal puppy. Indigo, you and I have never settled our score and I guarantee that at some point, we will both have that opportunity. Perhaps if you are man enough, you will be the one to accept. Knowing how foolish you seem though I most sincerely doubt it... you and I know that the result will end the same with you laying beneath my wings, a broken and battered man. If you want to prove me wrong, accept my challenge and we can find out for ourselves...
The furry tosses this one into the pile as well, quickly rising to his feet, as he walks over, grabbing something from off a nearby table, gently pushing aside the first three creatures with a foot, before walking in front of that pile, starting to stomp relentless into it, squishing everything in it with ease, some of the creature's tearing slightly, as the furry quickly grabs a match, strikes it, then tosses it into that pile, which slowly starts to burn. Crauswell reaches down, grabbing one last creature, a black horse, then looking to dump it as well into that burning inferno, but at the last second, changing his mind, hugging it close as he shakes his head, stroking over the thing's cotton mane... seemingly whispering something to it.
Crauswell: Forgive me...
He walks over to a nearby couch, setting down atop of it, as he lays down, holding this horse close, as he gazes forward, watching "Minipax" burn to cinders, as he looks back.
Crauswell: Nothing more needs to be said.
We zoom in on the burning critters, as we quickly fade out of this bizarre scene.
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TJT
AC Slater
It's fun to be perfect.
Posts: 109
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Post by TJT on Sept 2, 2007 19:46:54 GMT -5
Fade in to the EWT Arena…
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the EWT WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS!
The lights go off, being replaced with strobes and multicolor lights as "Peace Sells" by Megadeth starts up over the speakers and the big limo seen previously pulls up the stage, greeted by a swarm of boos. The two passenger doors closest to the ramp open up, and out step Jimmy Thunder and Jason Jupiter in their maroon and silver wrestling gear, trenchcoats shining in the light of the stage, the belts around their waists, and Terina behind them, her rich brown hair flowing down just below her shoulders in blue jeans and brown boots, and a light red top.
Announcer: "Making their way to the ring, being accompanied by Terina, from San Diego, California, weighing in at a combined weight of 456 pounds, they are the EWT Tag Team Champions.........T-J-T!"
The three begin their way down to the ring, Thunder and Jupiter sliding in at opposite sides and helping Terina in, as she pats both of them on the shoulders with a large smile. Both take their belts and coats off, lifting the titles into the air. They quickly follow suit with their shades and jewelry, handing everything off to the ref as he places it all on a table outside.
"Shout" blasts over the sound system with audience continuing to boo, as Christopher Indigo and Noah Rodgers make their way down to the ring.
Announcer: "Making their way down to the ring, at a combined weight of 535 pounds, they are Christopher Indigo and Noah Rodgers, MINIPAX!"
They enter the ring and the ref signals for the bell.
DING DING DING
Noah Rodgers and Jason Jupiter are to start things off. Noah charges at Jupiter, but Jupiter quickly counters with a belly to belly suplex whic immeadiately takes Noah down. Before Noah can get up, Juptier quickly locks in a headscissors. Noah quickly breaks free of the hold and both men are back up on their feet. Jupiter and Noah circle each other, however Noah connects with a haymaker which takes Jupiter down. Jupiter then retreats to a corner to recover and regain himself.
He slowly rises to his feet in the corner, Jupiter rolls towards his corner and tags in Jimmy Thunder. Thunder quickly enters the ring before he and Noah start quickly exchanging shots between one another. Noah starts gaining the upper hand and shoves Thunder to the corner before charging towards him. Thunder quickly evades and Noah slams into the corner. Thunder quickly capitalizes by taking Noah down with a dropkick. Noah rises to his feet, but Thunder catches Noah off guard with a lariat. He goes for the cover.
1!
2!
KICKOUT!
Noah crawls towards his corner, but Thunder immediately lays into Noah with several stomps. Thunder then drags Noah away from his corner, and towards the center of the ring. Thunder tags in Jupiter, and the two immediately run to each side of Noah Rodgers. They wait for Noah to get to his feet, and come off the ropes for the 2 Miles to Hell! Suddenly, out of no where Indigo lands an Enzuiguri on Jimmy Thunder! While Jupiter attempts the baseball slide, Rodgers leaps on top of Jason and starts hitting him with Mounted punches! Chaos has begun! It's eruption in the ring as the ref tries to control the situation. Jupiter covers himself up, taking blow after blow, whereas Thunder finds himself in a single leg crab by Indigo, keeping him away from his partner. The ref finally decides to separate the action, getting Rodgers off of Jupiter and forcing Indigo to release his hold. Indigo exits and Jupiter crawls out of the ring, Terina tending to his “wounds” as he oversells the damage, whaling and staggering outside. Thunder gets back to his feet, turning around to face Noah Rodgers, he gets caught from behind halfway and lifted up for a Pancake Flip! Rodgers plants him right on his face, and covers him for a pin.
1!
2!
KICKOUT!
Deciding that it’s best to help out before things get hairy, Terina decides to climb up to the apron, yelling insults to Rodgers in an attempt to draw his attention away from Thunder. Since the advantage is his, he decides to go and shut her up, advancing quickly. Out of the corner of his left eye, he notices Jason Jupiter slinking in the ring to try and catch him from behind, so taking this as the attack turns and faces him, until suddenly…
THUD!
Thunder was still the one who was supposed to attack, and a leaping neckbreaker slam from behind takes Rodgers right off his feet and back to the mat. Instead of going for a pin, which most likely wouldn’t succeed, and after checking his face for damage from the earlier move, Thunder tags in Jupiter. Both men attempt to pick him up for a double suplex, but Rodgers resists their combined efforts, lifting up Jupiter, but Thunder continues to hold on and keep him from landing the move. With the delay, Jupiter slips out, landing behind Rodgers and chop blocking him to bring him to his knees. As Thunder exits the ring, using his left hand to brush his hair back, Jupiter locks in an inverted STF on Rodgers, keeping the bigger man down in the submission hold. With the ropes not too far out of reach, Rodgers, Jupiter on top of him and keeping him locked in, grabs the ropes. Jupiter holds it till the five count is almost reached, getting up and grabbing the massive legs of his larger opponent to try and pull him away from the ropes and re-apply the move. Suddenly, he feels himself being pulled by Rodgers, who has compacted his legs back and releases, forcing Jupiter to a seated position onto the mat, who has been sent flying backwards.
Rodgers gets back up, shaking off his neck and Jupiter gets back to his feet as well. Just as Jupiter attempts to prevent him from getting to Christopher Indigo, Rodgers turns at him, easily shoving him over and making the tag. Laughter can be heard in the crowd as Indigo hurriedly climbs into the ring, hopping over the top rope and dropkicking the (again) back up Jason Jupiter. Jason rolls out of the way of a stomp, using one of his legs to sweep Indigo over. Both climb back to their feet, locking up. Jupiter applies a waist lock from behind, Indigo facing the ropes closest to the announce tables. Suddenly, the crowd of that area goes ablaze as a disheveled Jack Jupiter, wearing his attire from helping Cassinova on his trip, runs through the audience and clears the retaining wall as if it were a short hurdle. Jack looks over at the announce table, grabbing both EWT World Tag Team Championship belts, one over his left shoulder and the other held like a weapon. With speed, he slides in the ring, making a battle cry like a mentally insane rebel from the American Civil War. Just as he slides in, brandishing a title—in front of the referee, no less—and charging at full speed at Christopher Indigo, preparing to strike him, Indigo loosens from Jason Jupiter’s grip and drops to the mat, narrowly avoiding a hit as Jason Jupiter is caught in it. While he blocks most of it with his hands, he is still knocked over…
DING DING DING!
Announcer: “Here are your winners by disqualification, and STILL EWT WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS…T…J…T!”
Instead of Peace Sells starting up, as some crowd members boo and some cheer, Jack Jupiter finds himself surrounded in the ring by all of TJT, as well as Indigo and Rodgers. As he backs into a corner, cowering and begging for mercy, Terina looks over at him, and then looks to Jimmy and Jason, and nods her head saying…
“Get them.”
Thunder and Jupiter grab Christopher Indigo, setting him up for Thunder Has Struck to Jupiter! Rodgers turns around in alarm, receiving a low blow from Jack Jupiter RIGHT between the legs with an expression that could make a healthy man turn ill. Thunder and Jupiter complete their move, planting Indigo to the mat. Jack Jupiter quickly gets the tag titles as Thunder and Jupiter begin to stomp away at Rodgers and Indigo at the direction of Terina. He hands both men their belts, as they lift them up to a mixed reaction. The four exit from the ring, Thunder and Jupiter taking their stuff from the table and hopping over the barrier. As they help Terina over it, Jack following them, they begin to walk off, strutting in a manner that seems to SCREAM arrogance, in a manner of, “Look at us! HA!” Richard Clay comes running out, Midnight Mystery bringing up the rear, as the two enter the ring, helping up their fallen stablemates and looking on at TJT, as Thunder, Terina, and the Jupiter cousins begin to yell at them, saying “IT’S OVER, IT’S OVER!” as the camera fades out.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Sept 2, 2007 20:47:56 GMT -5
*Toom E Dangerously is walking backstage as he spots jzbadblood.*
jz, jz....may I have a moment of your time?
jz: What the hell do you want?
Toom E: Look, I know we've had our ups & our downs in the past...but we have made a great team in our ups. And if you think about it, I am the 1 who approved you getting your title shot against Joe One.
jz: On a freaking airplane, none the less.
Toom E: That's dorf's doing, you know that. Anyways, you & I are slated to wrestle this week. I have a proposition for you. You take this money, you make me look good, & I win.
jz: You win? You have got to be out of your mind!!
*Toom E takes some money out of his pocket when a funny paper falls out of his pocket.*
Toom E: Oops, excuse me...I dropped my prescription. Anyways, you see this? This could be yours if you do the ring thing.
jz: The right thing, huh? That's alot you're offering. You going to give it to me now?
Toom E: Yes...you going to make me look good?
jz: Oh, I assure you...I will make you look good now.
*jz walks away with a big smile on his face. Just then, a fan in shock walks up to Toom E.*
Fan: Oh my Gawd!!! Yer Toom E Dangerously. May I have your signature?? ?? ?? This is so awesome. My friend, Dave Kennedy, is never gonna believe this!!!!!
Toom E: Get out of my face!!! I have to go to the pharmacy to fill my prescription!!!!
*Toom E storms off, leaving the fan heartbroken.*
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Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
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Post by Ass Dan on Sept 2, 2007 21:18:59 GMT -5
Fade in to Joe One, who is seen watching the events on a telescreen. He turns it off.
One: It seems my associates in TJT have decided to nullify their contracts with Minipax. Indeed, we will need to retake what is ours. We must expand.
*COMMERCIAL BREAK, OR SOMETHING*
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Sigma: Current SRW Champ!
Dennis Stamp
Writes about wrestling, does videos about game shows, helps transpeople, loves baseball etc.
Posts: 4,524
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Post by Sigma: Current SRW Champ! on Sept 3, 2007 13:29:27 GMT -5
Tony Schiavone: Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm standing here with Vladimir Koslov. He's about to make his debut in the EWT, and he seems joyous about that.
Vladimir Koslov: That Right, Ton E Shevone. I am grateful to be in E Double T. I will make big impact on world. It match time. Let me show you my skill.
Jesse Ventura: This guy looks like a big brick house. Probably got the same amount of IQ. He would have ran if he saw that he's facing off against Sigma "G.Q." Williams.
(Bell Rings)
GMC: Ladies and Gentlemen, our next contest is scheduled for one fall, introducing first from Russia. Vladimir Kozlov.
Tony Schiavone: Even though he may not quite grasp theEnglish Language, he looks in great shape. Big man taking on a monster in Sigma Williams.
(Personal Jesus plays, crowd boos violently)
GMC: And his opponent, making his way to the ring. From Tacoma, Washington. he weighs in at 266 pounds. Sigma "G.Q." Williams.
Jesse Ventura: This man's been nothing short of awesome. Destroying opponents left and right. He's got a huge match at The Skies The Limit 2. He's in that big #1 Contenders Scaffold Tables match. My prediction: It's going to be him and Shane Malone left standing.
(Bell Rings)
Tony Schiavone: That seems to be the ideal match-up in that fight. Who knows how those two will stack up. It should be a great match as we have a great match here. Vladimir is looking to shake Sigma's hand.
Vladimir tries to get a handshake from Sigma. Sigma obliges him, but pulls him in for a Even-flow DDT.
Jesse Ventura: What a stupid move that Koslov did. You can't trust Sigma. He tried for some friendship and it ends up costing him dearly. A sweet Even-flow DDT.
Tony Schiavone: That just proves how dispicable a man Sigma is. Vladimir offers a kind gesture and he ends up getting Even-flowed for his efforts.
Sigma picks up Vladimir's limp Body and puts it on the top rope facing towards the mat. Sigma the climbs the ropes and prepares for the Gods Wrath.
Tony Schiavone: And here he goes. He looks like he's setting up for the Gods Wrath. This is the move that put Batista on the shelf, and broke his neck.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma is really focused on his scaffold match. So, he's pulling out all the stops now.
Sigma then jumps off the rope and Delivers a picture perfect Gods Wrath. The crowd just winces and Koslov is left laying in a heap of bones and a broken neck.
Tony Schiavone: He pulled out the Gods Wrath, and Koslov is hurt.
Referee: One, Two, Three. Ring the bell.
(Bell Rings)
Jesse Ventura: Sigma wins again. It's going to take something drastic to put this man down for the count. As Tony gets ready to talk to Sigma, here's a replay. Sigma wastes no time in duping the gigantic dunce into a handshake and just lays him out with an Even-flow DDT. Then he sets him up and just drives him to the mat with the Gods Wrath. Your Winner, Sigma "G.Q." Williams. Here's Tony Schiavone.
Tony Schiavone: I'm here right now with Sigma. It seems to a lot of people here tonight that you were here to prove a point.
Sigma Williams: Well, it seems that you're finally coming along to thinking like how you should think. That statement was mainly driven towards one group of people. Team Ireland, I know for a fact that you conned your way into this match. I can smell that you're just preparing some dastardly scheme to try to foist victory away from me. Well, let me tell you four dunces this. It's going to take more than brute strength to throw me off that scaffold and onto the tables below. If any of you miscreants try to stand in my way, you're in for more hurting than what the English did to you 400 years ago. Just remember this, I am the master of mind-games. I will be climbing down from that scaffold and will be walking away the Toolshed #1 Contender. After I'm done with you, Voltiegur. You better prepare and get ready to hand over that title to me.
Schiavone, it's been your pleasure.
Tony Schiavone: That's Sigma for ya. We'll be right back[/left].
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Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
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Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Sept 4, 2007 1:38:12 GMT -5
*A fade back from commercial shows the fan favorite, Jobby McJobberston, walking in the hallway. His intent would appear to be to find his lost tag team partner. As surprisingly as it sounds, he didn't go straight to the locker room after his conversation with Juri. As he does so, he seems oblivious to all the stares he gets from random stage crew members. His typical swagger is halted as the Major Brothers, the WP opponent's for this week, both run past him. Confused, he grabs both of their shoulders.*
Jobby: What's wrong Mario and Luigi?
Brian: You.
Brett: Don't.
Brian: Know.
Brett: What's.
Brian: Going.
Brett: On?!
*Jobby stares from one twin to the other.*
Jobby: How do you do that?
Brian: Do.
Brett: What?
Jobby: ...Whatever you're doing, don't stop... IT'S AWESOME!
*The brothers look confused but end up shrugging then turning again to run away. Only for Jobby to restrict them again.*
Jobby: Oh! Yeah! I had one more question. Why are you running? Is it a GIANT BOULDER FROM A BOOTYTRAPPED TEMPLE?! DID YOU TAKE A GOLDEN IDOL?!
Brett: Wh-
Brian: At?!
Brett: No.
Brian: We.
Brett: Are.
Brian: Running.
Brett: From.
Brian: That.
Brett: FREAK!
Brian: We.
Brett: FORFEIT!
*They both run away yet still manage to be generic and uncharismatic as they do so. Jobby stares at the retreating brothers then shakes his head in confusion.*
Jobby: Maybe they needed mushrooms to grow stronger... OR they have glowing stars!
*He turns and continues on his trek to his locker room. His footsteps halt as he reaches the door. It's coated with blood splatters and one bloody hand print.*
Jobby: Hmm... I don't remember this paint being here before.
*Clearly, he doesn't realize that the 'paint' is blood. As well as he is unaware of what has become his tag parter. Without a second thought, he enters the locker room. The audible dripping is heard within the pitch black room.*
Jobby: Axel? You in here? Where are you? I can't find my Cindy Lauper record! AND we haven't had a match in awhile. Do you know why?
“....hiss....”
Jobby: Oooo! Do you have a kitty in here? Here let me turn on the light!
*Smiling, he flicks the light and turns right into a horrible sight. Both members of the Southern Posse, their missing opponents from a while ago, hung by their feet in the air. Blood drips from both bodies and is captured by a pan under each of them. This gruesome scene could best be described as a human slaughter house. One of the Posse members groans as the light affects his eyes. Jobby has no words as he stares wide eyed at the scene.*
Jobby: ....what's.....going on....?
*From behind a pile of bloodied rags and tattered clothes, the being known as Pryde rises.*
Pryde: ......the light......it reminds of success........no....must have failure.......
Jobby: A—a-a-a-a-a-a-a---a---xx-x-x-x--xx-eel?
Pryde: *glaring at his once semi possible friend.* Successful.........fan.....favorite.....
Jobby: Axel?
Pryde: .....I......must spread the failure.......
*Pryde grabs Jobby by throat and slams him against the door.*
Jobby: W—h--a-a-a-tt--t are you dooooing?
Pryde: I'm.....saving you.....from......you're eventual downfall.... I'm ending....your career now.....
*The camera man accidentally makes a sound behind Pryde, as he tries to capture this all on film. Instantly Pryde snaps his head towards the camera. Within seconds a bloody glove grabs the camera and the view goes into static. Leaving the audience only to wonder what will become of the room of innocents and depraved Pryde.*
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Post by liontamer12 on Sept 4, 2007 5:15:32 GMT -5
The camera cuts to the stage the quiet rumble of the crowd pops as “I’m The King of my World” by Saliva blasts from the speakers. John “The Lion” Valentine slowly walks to the center of the stage. Amnestria trails behind him with a sleek black dress and a blank look. Valentine lifts a microphone to his blackened lips and starts down the ramp.
Valentine: These EWT wrestlers in the back think I can’t hear. They think I can’t see. They’ve made one mistake. My senses have never been sharper. Unfortunately, Mr. Sparks has made the same mistake. However, this mistake is the biggest mistake of his life. You see Jonnie, this isn’t spilled milk, this isn’t an eight-year-old in a bicycle wreck and this is definitely not forgetting to double-space an essay. What this is, is Hillary Clinton on the Democratic ticket…
Crowd pops.
Valentine: …This is WCW hiring Vince Russo and letting him run wild.
Crowd pops again. Valentine slides into the ring and jumps to his feet. He turns his focus to the stage.
Valentine: Jonnie Sparks, you f***** with Viper! THIS…
…IS…
…WAR!
The crowd cheers once more. Valentine drops the mic simultaneously with “Kickstart My Heart” by Motley Crue hitting the speakers. Audible boo’s echo throughout the arena as Jonnie Sparks starts down the ring.
Sparks: Touché “little V”, touché. I’ll give you the last word. I’ll let you have that little gem.
Sparks enters the ring.
Sparks: That last word, unfortunately for you, can’t be found in the dictionary. That little word is the little noise you're going to make…when I smash your face in…
Sparks nails Valentine in the nose with the microphone, dropping him like a barn fly.
Sparks: …With this microphone.
The crowd boo’s loudly as Sparks throws the mic outside of the ring and starts toward Valentine. Amnestria is pushed away from Valentine as she tries to help him. She subsequently rolls outside to view the match with some safe distance. Sparks side-headlocks Valentine and drags him over to a corner, throwing him into it. Then comes one, two, three hard knees into the gut of Valentine. Referee Tim White pries Sparks off of Valentine and calls for the bell.
DING, DING, DING!
JR: Well folks, we are officially underway here. Jonnie Sparks vs. The odd Viper…I’m just going to call him Valentine…we all know who this kid is.
King: I don’t care who he is JR, I don’t like him one bit. Sparks is going to throttle him!
JR: Well King, I hope he shakes off the face paint soon.
Both men circle each other and soon clash into a collar-elbow tie-up. They struggle a bit until Sparks kicks Valentine hard in the gut. Valentine grabs his stomach in pain and Sparks Irish whips him back into the corner from whence he came. Valentine’s back crashes into the turnbuckle and leans up against it to remain standing.
King: See! What’d I tell you JR? Sparks is gonna’ kill him!
Sparks charges with great speed toward Valentine, smashing Valentine’s chest with an unforgiving clothesline. Sparks backs up and lets The Lion crash to the mat. Sparks turns him over and goes for the pin.
ONE!
TWO!
JR: No! Not like this!
King: Yeah!
TH-KICKOUT!
Valentine kicks out much to the displeasure of Sparks. The crowd cheers loudly and Sparks begins to pick up Valentine.
King: That was three! What an incompetent ref.
Valentine is brought to his knees and quickly slams an elbow into Jonnie’s stomach. Sparks winces long enough for Valentine to return to his feet and quickly bounce off the ropes. On the rebound, he catches Sparks with a hard clothesline! Sparks falls and immediately gets back up to receive another clothesline on the second rebound. The crowd cheers as Valentine bounces yet again. When he reaches Sparks, Sparks catches him and uses his momentum to lift him into the air to begin the Prozac! Vigorous boos begin to start along with a “Smarky Sucks” chant.
Sparks: Yelling. It’s “Jonnie Sparks!” Get it right you assclowns!
The crowd boos as Sparks continues to keep Valentine in the air adding insult to injury by walking around the ring, heckling the crowd.
Sparks: You, yeah you! Points to a large woman in the crowd. You look like a mattress…Serta?
Jeers and boos get louder as Sparks begins to focus more on Valentine.
JR: This is just pathetic! Just end the damn move!
King: Can’t you see JR? He’s working his magic! There’s a method to his madness. He-
King cuts off his own sentence as Valentine flips out of the Prozac! Sparks turns around in confusion and meets a kick to the stomach and begins to recieve The Viper’s Bite (The Liontamer)!
King: OH NO!
At the last second, Sparks pushes Valentine away and sprints out of the ring and begins to walk backward up the ramp. He points at Valentine while walking and smirks. The crowd cheers loudly as Andy “The Eagle” Davidson grabs Sparks while running and throws Sparks back into the ring with force.
JR: Bah Gawd! It’s Davidson!
In a furious rage, Sparks leaps to his feet and leans on the ropes yelling at Davidson. He says his fill and turns around into a devastating Viper’s Bite! The crowd erupts and Valentine goes for the pin.
JR: Liontamer! Liontamer!
ONE!
TWO!
JR: That’s it! It’s gonna’ be over!
King: No!
THREE!
Referee Tim White calls for the bell as the crowd erupts even louder.
Howard Finkel: Ladies and Gentlemen your winner, JOHN “THE LION” VALENTINE!
Tim White raises Valentine’s arm in victory as Amnestria rushes into the ring to embrace him. Davidson struts into the ring and looms over an unconscious Sparks. Soon, they all stand in a line and raise their arms looking toward the camera.
JR: And what can possibly be called Valentine’s biggest win yet in the EWT, he did it! The Lion did it! You are looking at The Guardinals ladies and gentlemen. The men I’ve go my money on for The Sky’s the Limit 2!
King: Whatever you say JR. This was a fluke. Valentine’s going to be killed by Virus at Sky’s the Limit 2 and you know it.
JR: We’ll just see King. Maybe Virus will even show up. Well folks, stay tuned. We’ve got Coming Attractions Productions vs. TBA and it’s next!
Camera Cuts.
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Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
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Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Sept 4, 2007 21:19:57 GMT -5
*After a Valentine's match, we flash to the back. It's inside the medic's office. And quick scan around shows one occupant, Jobby McJobberston. As the camera comes close, he doesn't stir one bit. Blood drips from open wounds on his face, tracing down over many bruises. His state could be best described as a stern yet shell shocked stare into nothingness. Before any more can be shown, the camera cuts to commercial.*
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