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Post by Mehe is F'n hardcore. on Dec 28, 2008 14:30:09 GMT -5
So I have this friend, right? We've been friends for almost all my adult life. We've seen each other through some serious shit (my divorce, a nasty breakup with a boyfriend, his breakups with a couple of girlfriends, family matters, et. al.), and I consider him one of my dearest friends.
I've had more than friend feelings for him for a long time, but always kept my silence about it because of his involvement with other women.
He messages me out of the blue the other day telling me that he and his fiancee have broken up.
A part of me is really sad for him, and another part of me is elated that this might be my chance with him.
However, I'm afraid to tell him how I feel so soon after his breakup.
How long do I wait?
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Post by chibidiablo on Dec 28, 2008 14:38:30 GMT -5
You don't. What if he quickly jumps into a relationship with someone else and you're stuck on the sidelines again?
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Post by Mehe is F'n hardcore. on Dec 28, 2008 14:39:37 GMT -5
You don't. What if he quickly jumps into a relationship with someone else and you're stuck on the sidelines again? But what if it turns into a rebound? |
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Post by emoney3265 on Dec 28, 2008 14:42:47 GMT -5
Well honestly, I would have him over and console him etc, tell him there's better people out there and that he could even know them already and look him in the eyes. Kind of beat around the bush, he should pick up on it. I don't think you necessarily need to flat out tell him. Maybe go in for a kiss and take control. At least that's what I'd do but then again, I'm a guy so idk how well it will work for a girl but hey it's worth a try. Hopefully you at least get a chance with him. If that plan goes over well, you can tell him how you've felt. I hope it all goes well for you.  |
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Post by emoney3265 on Dec 28, 2008 14:44:01 GMT -5
You don't. What if he quickly jumps into a relationship with someone else and you're stuck on the sidelines again? But what if it turns into a rebound? Don't think of the bad things too much. If you think of all the "ifs" then it can even ruin the relationship if it starts. Always think positive. You should know him well enough whether he'd have a rebound or not. He doesn't sound like he would do that though. |
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Post by DiBiase is Good on Dec 28, 2008 14:45:51 GMT -5
You don't. What if he quickly jumps into a relationship with someone else and you're stuck on the sidelines again? But what if it turns into a rebound? Rebounds don't all end bad. I started a relationship with someone as they were coming out of a long relationship. 3 years later and I'm married to that same person. |
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Post by teamjd on Dec 28, 2008 14:50:27 GMT -5
But what if it turns into a rebound? But what if it doesn't? See, we can play this game too ;D I'll more or less support the rest of my posters on this. |
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Post by Mehe is F'n hardcore. on Dec 28, 2008 15:46:32 GMT -5
I'm just conflicted, I guess. I really want to tell him... but he's in a delicate condition right now.
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Post by chibidiablo on Dec 28, 2008 15:49:36 GMT -5
I'm just conflicted, I guess. I really want to tell him... but he's in a delicate condition right now. Ahh females so different to us males. Delicate conditions are the perfect time to strike. |
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Post by BRAINFADE on Dec 28, 2008 16:32:26 GMT -5
Just go for it and see how things go. Trust me, you WILL regret it if you don't take a chance.
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Post by emoney3265 on Dec 28, 2008 16:43:26 GMT -5
Just go for it and see how things go. Trust me, you WILL regret it if you don't take a chance. |
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biafra
El Dandy
Biafra Who?
Posts: 7,617
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Post by biafra on Dec 28, 2008 16:47:48 GMT -5
TELL HIM.
If it's a rebound then it won't work no matter how much time you wait.
The worst thing in this situation is you alone ten years from now and he in a shitty marriage and you thinking "what if?"
Screw what if..tell him how you feel and tell him the next move is his...that way he can take time to heal if he wants.
Either way you owe it to yourself to let him know.
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Post by Mehe is F'n hardcore. on Dec 28, 2008 23:26:42 GMT -5
So, I'm gonna tell him. Soon, in fact.
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Post by Brandon Walsh is Insane. on Dec 29, 2008 1:30:29 GMT -5
Just tell him the following line:
"I'm there for you."
And be there for him. And soon, you'll just "be there."
Foolproof.
Just make sure you keep your friend George away from visiting his now ex-fiancee.
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"Magic" Mark Hurr
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Here, have some chili dogs
Not related to Phantasmo
Posts: 15,679
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Post by "Magic" Mark Hurr on Dec 29, 2008 2:11:34 GMT -5
Just tell him the following line: "I'm there for you." And be there for him. And soon, you'll just "be there." Foolproof. Just make sure you keep your friend George away from visiting his now ex-fiancee. Meat has spoken. Simple but effective. See you are experiencing one of the worst things ever. You have an in that no other woman has because you were there throught his other relationships so you know what went wrong and how you won't make those mistakes. But sadly this is abiut what he wants. I know you want to be there as a freind and maybe more but you need to think about why it won't work between you and him because you would have been together by now. He knows you exist and he is fully aware of what you are capable of being for him. You never know. Maybe it's not meant to be and you two are meant to be friends and that's it. Also, you are in a position to try something that people never do. Address with the same concerns you are sharing with use and let him know how valuable your feelings are because you you do have feelings for him and there is a high price to pay to be the therapist one you have feelings for. And when you are are done being the the rapist he'll have to pay the price for you being there above and beyond the duties you really don't want to accept since you have feelings for him. You are woman and you can't afford to be damaged from this when you didn't cause this. It'll will ruin you for the next good guy you may pass up because you are stuck somewhere else you should'nt be. (Home Movies and Arrested Development reference for the double score. Don't mind my silliness. It's the beer.) |
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Post by Non Banjoble Tokens on Dec 29, 2008 2:23:59 GMT -5
Look, I know how you feel about me but it can never work. I'm in love with someone else. You know what? Screw that, I can love you both. At the same time. With Saran Wrap. I'm sorry, I'm a pervert.  |
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