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Post by GuyOfOwnage on Jun 18, 2009 21:09:02 GMT -5
The bottom of the barrel, being punched right through with jackhammer force by a Hollywood not content to merely scrape at it. YEESH. I mean, I had thought that by announcing it's latest slate of remakes, the bottom of the barrel was being scraped. Now comes this movie, and shows that they apparently hadn't hit rock bottom yet. I mean, where do they go from here? This is truly the rock bottom, end of the line, undeniable proof that the creative juices have not only stopped flowing, but the river beds they had created are as dry as the Gobi, too. Oh, this isn't the end yet. Now, when they eventually remake the Slumber Party Massacre, Don't Go In The Woods, and Sweet Sixteen...THAT will be rock bottom and end of the line. Until I see those films on the remake slate, nothing will surprise me.
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Post by Rorschach on Jun 18, 2009 21:31:12 GMT -5
Those are good choices, but honestly...you would figure that something like one of the early King movies would be ripe for remaking, due to the FX quality, or even to some of the acting. Stuff like CUJO, CHRISTINE, MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE, CARRIE et al.
Not that I want those films remade at all...just seems like they'd be more targets than the freaking STEPFATHER films.
To add to your list...it makes as much sense as remaking NIGHT OF THE LEPUS, or CLASS OF NUKE EM HIGH.
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Post by GuyOfOwnage on Jun 18, 2009 21:59:39 GMT -5
Those are good choices, but honestly...you would figure that something like one of the early King movies would be ripe for remaking, due to the FX quality, or even to some of the acting. Stuff like CUJO, CHRISTINE, MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE, CARRIE et al. Not that I want those films remade at all...just seems like they'd be more targets than the freaking STEPFATHER films. To add to your list...it makes as much sense as remaking NIGHT OF THE LEPUS, or CLASS OF NUKE EM HIGH. I would argue that King's work is about to see a whole slew of new film adaptions. I can imagine that the new film adaption of IT (yeah yeah, I know the original adaption was made for TV, but whatever) is only the beginning. Wasn't Carrie remade as a made-for-TV film already as well? And I'm pretty sure I heard rumblings of a new Pet Sematary. I wouldn't be remotely shocked to see Cujo or Christine on the remake slate sooner or later.
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Jun 18, 2009 22:47:53 GMT -5
Wasn't Carrie remade as a made-for-TV film already as well? Yup, a.k.a. The Movie Where We Use the Novel's Story to Bash Religious People to High Heaven.
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Post by Rorschach on Jun 18, 2009 22:53:33 GMT -5
Wasn't Carrie remade as a made-for-TV film already as well? Yup, a.k.a. The Movie Where We Use the Novel's Story to Bash Religious People to High Heaven. Never knew that. You guys think that had THE BREED performed better than it did at the BO, we would have had a CUJO remake by now?
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Jun 18, 2009 23:14:01 GMT -5
Yup, a.k.a. The Movie Where We Use the Novel's Story to Bash Religious People to High Heaven. Never knew that. You guys think that had THE BREED performed better than it did at the BO, we would have had a CUJO remake by now? Don't know about that movie, but the Carrie TV movie...ugh, just ugh. Not only for the reason that I listed above...it's just really bad and cheesy all around. It stars Angela Bettis, a.k.a. freaky May from the movie May...and even THAT isn't as cool as it sounds.
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Post by GuyOfOwnage on Jun 18, 2009 23:38:03 GMT -5
Never knew that. You guys think that had THE BREED performed better than it did at the BO, we would have had a CUJO remake by now? Don't know about that movie, but the Carrie TV movie...ugh, just ugh. Not only for the reason that I listed above...it's just really bad and cheesy all around. It stars Angela Bettis, a.k.a. freaky May from the movie May...and even THAT isn't as cool as it sounds. May...now there's a movie I don't hear enough discussion about. This movie caught me by surprise when it originally came out, and I ended up enjoying it quite a bit. Angela Bettis was perfectly cast as the titular character, IMO.
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Post by Rorschach on Jun 19, 2009 0:31:22 GMT -5
Don't know about that movie, but the Carrie TV movie...ugh, just ugh. Not only for the reason that I listed above...it's just really bad and cheesy all around. It stars Angela Bettis, a.k.a. freaky May from the movie May...and even THAT isn't as cool as it sounds. May...now there's a movie I don't hear enough discussion about. This movie caught me by surprise when it originally came out, and I ended up enjoying it quite a bit. Angela Bettis was perfectly cast as the titular character, IMO. Oh yeah. In fact, someone ought to mention MAY in that "Underrated Movie" thread. ;D Bettis was also pretty good in Lucky McKee's SICK GIRL for the Masters of Horror series. For all the flack that series catches, it's really produced some decent flicks. JENIFER was excellent, and I really dug DEER WOMAN and PELTS for what they were.
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Post by DSR on Jun 19, 2009 0:44:30 GMT -5
May...now there's a movie I don't hear enough discussion about. This movie caught me by surprise when it originally came out, and I ended up enjoying it quite a bit. Angela Bettis was perfectly cast as the titular character, IMO. Oh yeah. In fact, someone ought to mention MAY in that "Underrated Movie" thread. ;D Bettis was also pretty good in Lucky McKee's SICK GIRL for the Masters of Horror series. For all the flack that series catches, it's really produced some decent flicks. JENIFER was excellent, and I really dug DEER WOMAN and PELTS for what they were. I liked all of the episodes of Masters of Horror you mentioned EXCEPT for Sick Girl. Ugh, that was just...lame. It felt like a really awful episode of the TV series Goosebumps that just happened to have lesbianism thrown in. I found all of the characters annoying, and the effects and stuff were just lousy. Sick Girl's a piece of crap.
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Ken Ivory
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Post by Ken Ivory on Jun 19, 2009 1:25:57 GMT -5
Wasn't Carrie remade as a made-for-TV film already as well? Yup, a.k.a. The Movie Where We Use the Novel's Story to Bash Religious People to High Heaven. You can really say that for most Stephen King projects though. It seems to be a recurring theme that religious folk in the King Universe have a (not so) hidden zealous dark side.
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Post by Rorschach on Jun 19, 2009 2:53:58 GMT -5
Speaking of religion.... MARTYRS (2008) Starring Morjana Alaoui, Mylene Jampanoi Yeesh. You guys ever get a sit through a batch of cremepuff horror movies, and then have one come along and absolutely destroy you? MARTYRS just did that to me. Folks, this one has been talked up amongst every horror site out there, and I am sitting here typing this right now to tell you that it more than lives up to every bit of praise and warning on the box. This...is not for the faint of heart, and even those fans who like SAW and HOSTEL will likely be put off by it. By God, this film is something else, and it will stay with you long, LONG after the credits roll. MARTYRS opens with the tale of Lucie (Jampanoi) who's backstory we recieve as she is brought to an orphanage. Seems that she was being kept prisoner in some dank facility, and only through the rarest of luck did she manage to escape to freedom. The things that were being done to young Lucie aren't immediately revealed, but we do see her get savagely smacked around by her captors. Once at the orphanage, Lucie is withdrawn, and is only able to be approached by Anna (Alaoui), whose concern for her newfound friend is quite touching. Anna looks after the mentally damaged Lucie, and acts as Lucie's guardian and protector. Towards the end of this opening sequence, we get a glimpse of the night terrors that grip Lucie, and they provide a hint that all is not well with this young girl... Flash forward 15 years, and we meet a nice, normal, everyday family, sitting down to have their usual breakfast and morning chit chat. The absolute normalcy shown in this scene is brilliantly used by director Pascal Laugier to contrast with the absolute mind shattering lunacy of what happens next, and for that matter, throughout the rest of the film. Seems the now young adult Lucie has found her way back to the house where she was held hostage, and she's found the ones who were to blame for it all. She arrives with a shotgun full of revenge, and proceeds to go absolutely sick-house on anything that moves. It was at this point that I had thought I had made it through the worst of what MARTYRS had in store for me; how wrong I was. In fact, the insanity is only just getting warmed up, as things go from bad, to worse, to eighteen different levels of Hell beyond that for our two lead characters. To say anymore about what happens next (I fear I may have already said too much) would be to ruin the huge impact MARTYRS has on the viewer, and I definitely don't want to do that. Suffice to say that this is a film that will mentally punish you. It will hit you with acts of such stark savagery that you might just have to fight with yourself to avoid stopping the DVD and walking away. Folks, only a handful of movies have been able to just batter me emotionally as viciously as MARTYRS has just done. IMPRINT, IRREVERSIBLE, and I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE to name just a few, have made me feel physically and emotionally drained after viewing them, and have earned their place in the "Watch once, and never again, unless there is one GOD DAMN good reason" club. MARTYRS now has a place on that list. There are things done to these girls in this film that had me balling my fists in rage and almost crying they were so vicious. And see, the whole thing about it is, it's not done in an Eli Roth, HOSTEL sort of way. There's nothing overly-stylized, or fetishistic here. Just cold, brutal violence perpetrated in an all too realistic manner by one adult human being on a young adult female. If you do choose to see this film, beware, because in it's latter half, you WILL see a human being having their mind, body and soul broken in such a realistic manner, you almost suffer along with her. She will be chained to a chair, forcefed gruel til she pukes, have her hair brutally and savagely cut, be slapped, stricken, and outright pummeled into unconciousness....she will be beaten until her face is only vaguely human, and you will see it all. This, I kid you not, it stretches out until you're almost on your hands and knees in front of the TV, begging the captors to kill this poor girl. But see, they're not doing this for sick kicks, they have a very sinister, very...mind blowing reason they are doing this to her. If you stick it out til the end, and have this reason revealed, it will hit you like a mack truck. Ladies and gentlemen of the Forums...after watching this movie, I can honestly say I won't ever be the same. It's not like watching the over the top, cartoonish violence of TOKYO GORE POLICE. This...this movie, I think, scarred my soul. I feel like I need to take a hot shower. That being said, this is truly, honestly, and achievement in our genre, and I give director Laugier the highest marks possible for it. It is absolutely brutal and amazing....and deserves every one of the five stars I am about to award it. ***** out of 5.
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Post by Rorschach on Jun 19, 2009 13:10:11 GMT -5
Courtesy of DreadCentral.com, here is the newest HALLOWEEN II one sheet. I kind of dig this poster. This is something I wouldn't mind having on my wall, next to the F13 and TCM posters.
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Post by GuyOfOwnage on Jun 19, 2009 13:18:27 GMT -5
Courtesy of DreadCentral.com, here is the newest HALLOWEEN II one sheet. I kind of dig this poster. This is something I wouldn't mind having on my wall, next to the F13 and TCM posters. Pretty good poster for what will undoubtedly be a trainwreck of a film.
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Post by Rorschach on Jun 19, 2009 13:35:08 GMT -5
Heh...just noticed something about that poster though: Given how tall Andre the Myers is in Rob's version, either that grass is about four feet tall and needs to be mowed, or else he's crouching over a downed victim, stabbing them.
Which would make the setting just right for Loomis to be just out of the shot, in a shooting stance....
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Welfare Willis
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Post by Welfare Willis on Jun 19, 2009 13:51:21 GMT -5
That poster...
Children of the Halloween?
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Jun 19, 2009 14:59:20 GMT -5
Martyrs was another movie that Fangoria seemed to really be actively pimping; however, that one I might have to check out, unlike Donkey Punch, which didn't do much to entice me. Yup, a.k.a. The Movie Where We Use the Novel's Story to Bash Religious People to High Heaven. You can really say that for most Stephen King projects though. It seems to be a recurring theme that religious folk in the King Universe have a (not so) hidden zealous dark side. True 'dat. While I'm a HUGE King fan, it seems that if you find a character in one of his books who even OWNS a Bible...said person is a hypocritical, shady son of a bitch.
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Jun 19, 2009 18:37:24 GMT -5
A Friday the 13th set during winter? I'm up for that Read the two-issue comic called Friday The 13th: Bad Land......it is Jason Voorhees killing people during a blizzard.
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Post by Rorschach on Jun 19, 2009 19:40:32 GMT -5
Martyrs was another movie that Fangoria seemed to really be actively pimping; however, that one I might have to check out, unlike Donkey Punch, which didn't do much to entice me. You can really say that for most Stephen King projects though. It seems to be a recurring theme that religious folk in the King Universe have a (not so) hidden zealous dark side. True 'dat. While I'm a HUGE King fan, it seems that if you find a character in one of his books who even OWNS a Bible...said person is a hypocritical, shady son of a bitch. MARTYRS deserves every bit of that praise, too. It...it's in a league of it's own, man. Nothing out there comes close to it, and I don't think I'll watch another film even remotely like it again. Be warned, though, as I said, it is NOT an enjoyable experience, but then again, sometimes worthwhile experiences aren't always enjoyable. Think I'll go and watch some more WB cartoons on Boomerang to cheer myself up, and chase away the soul-searing horror of MARTYRS.
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andrew8798
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Post by andrew8798 on Jun 19, 2009 21:52:53 GMT -5
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Post by Rorschach on Jun 19, 2009 21:55:48 GMT -5
Helena Bonham Carter did decently in her role as the "bride" in Kenneth Brannagh's version of FRANKENSTEIN. Invite her back again, I say.
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