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Post by YellowJacketY2J on Apr 25, 2010 17:23:19 GMT -5
We are one night away from the beginning of the Era of Athleticism. I will save this company from the depths of disparity and give you all a champion that you can proud of. A champion that you can look up to. A champion you can admire.
My partner excluded, every wrestler stepping into the Thunderdome doesn't deserve the spotlight. One's a whiner, despite being the champion, one's a talented, yet foul-mouthed punk, one's a man who's more concerned with his musical preference and the other had lady luck on his side last Monday. In the middle of all of it is the beacon of depravity and, sadly, the Champion of Honor and special referee, Jonathan Michaels.
Jonathan, I will not let you screw me out of my chance to save this company. I am here as a goodwill ambassador and I will not allow you, the target, foil my plans. You may have slithered your way to the Championship of Honor, but you won't sliver your way to the WWCF Championship. Just because I will doesn't mean you can screw me out of my chance to cloud your low self-esteem. All I ask is that you stay out of my way and do what you're assigned to do: call the match down the middle.
I may have to do it in an appalling match, but I will save this company.
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Dave at the Movies
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
VINTAGE D-DAY DAVE! Always cranking dat thing.
Posts: 18,228
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Post by Dave at the Movies on Apr 25, 2010 22:52:13 GMT -5
Well M.O.P. you want to come back in and mess with the big guys on the playground I say go for it. Just don't be surprised to see that you waked up after being knocked out by my tag team partner Headbanger Man at Wrestle-CrApocalypse. I'll be there rocking the corner with my guitar as I watch you get massacred by one half of the greatest tag team in wrestling today.
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Apr 26, 2010 0:52:06 GMT -5
*We come into the arena and see 3 people sitting in the front row. There is an elaborate set up in the ring with red carpet and a podium with a trophy on it. We see Kris Kobain wearing a tuxedo. "Welcome to the Kris Kobain Awards for Excellence! Let me start off by saying I had to do dirty dirty things to convince Jessica Morton to ask Jar Jar Binks himself Seth Drakin to allow me to use the arena to prestent this special award to a special special young man. We all know who this award is going to so before we get to the award itself I see this man's whole fan base turned up. Let's go talk to them shall we?" *Kris exits the ring and goes to the first man. He is filthy and dressed in rags. Kris: "Hello there sir. May I ask your opinion of our guest of honor this evening?" Man: "Arrgh spaceships arrrgh probing arrgh conspiracy arrrgh." Kris: "It's nice to see you come out to support your brother this evening." *Kris moves on to the next guy. He is dressed in a suit and tie. Kris: "Hello sir. How about sharing your favorite memory of our guest tonight?" Man: "Where's my 50 bucks!?! You said you'd give me 50 bucks to do this!" Kris: "Shouldn't we all be so lucky to have such fond memories." *Kris goes to the 3rd man. He is an elderly man with an oxygen tank. He is asleep. Kris: "Nice to see you come out this evening sir. May I ask your opinion on our guest of honor's matches?" *The man doesn't wake up. Kris: "I couldn't have put it better myself." *Kris goes back into the ring. "Now that we've met all the Shetheads in the world why don't we bring out this city's Kobainites?" *The arena starts fillling with people. "There's standing room in the back and if that fills up sit on each other's laps." *The crowd starts chanting Kris Kobain Kris Kobain and Kris looks out and smiles a cocky smile. Kris: "That's more like it! Now let's introduce our award and our guest of honor. This man is so phenomenal that I had to combine three yes that's right count them one, two, three, awards into one. So let's here it for the first ever winner of the Kris Kobain Most Repugnant , Most Insipid and Most Obtuse Wrestler of the Year................." *Kris pulls an envelope out of his tuxedo jacket "Inspector Shetty!" *Wanna Be In L.A. starts to play and Inspector Shetty doesn't appear. Kris: "Inspector Shetty!" *Wanna Be In L.A. plays again and again Inspector Shetty doesn't appear. Kris: "All right you ungratefull bastard. I try to do something nice for you and you don't want to show up? I go out of my way to bring your whole fan base in and let me tell you something you ignoramus I had to search far and wide just to find them yet you no show? I go out and get you this beautiful trophy *Kris getting angrier and angrier grabs the trophy and smshes it on the canvas and you no show? Let me tell you something you grotesque son of a bitch when it comes to monday night and you have to walk out to that ring and face me I am going to be the living hell out of you! I can break careers as easy as I make them and if you don't believe me then use your little spirit guide Runing Horse and look up Dream Warrior. He knows all about me ending careers!" *Kris's face changes from anger to a coy grin. "Now I kind of figured that the worthless horsefaced imbicle would no show so I had a back up plan. I'm always a step ahead and don't you forget it. I have another trifecta award to hand out." *Two very attractive women in sparkling dresses carry out a giant trophy and place it on a table at the front of the ring. "Introducing the Kris Kobain award for the Most Tantalizing, Superlative and Astute wrestler of the year........." *Kris pulls another envelope out of his pocket "Kris Kobain!!!!!!" *Kris puts his shaky hand over his mouth and then fans himself as if the award was unexpected. Confetti falls from the ceiling as Kris tilts his head back and extends his arms in victory. "This is so unexpected I don't even have a speech prepared....There are so many people to thank....." *Kris walks behind the podium and pulls out a giant stack of paper. He unolls the paper as it lays across the mat he starts reading "There are many people to thank......Sara Nakatomi, Jessica Morton, you laides know why *Kris winks Alexa Anderson, Lisa Garcia and Marrissa Logan for staying the hell away from me. Mom, Dad, I did it! I'd like to thank Erica , Chris, Alyssa, Sammy, Josh, Joshua, Derek, Rebecca, Michala, Sky, Scott, Emma, Victoria, Angela, Angelica, Luke, Kristen..... The camera goes off as Kris continues to read names off the list.
Thank you.
Also, you did a good job cleaning the public bathroom. I will keep you in mind if I need to save money by firing the janitor. |
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Post by Kris Kobain on Apr 26, 2010 2:11:12 GMT -5
*We come into the arena and see 3 people sitting in the front row. There is an elaborate set up in the ring with red carpet and a podium with a trophy on it. We see Kris Kobain wearing a tuxedo. "Welcome to the Kris Kobain Awards for Excellence! Let me start off by saying I had to do dirty dirty things to convince Jessica Morton to ask Jar Jar Binks himself Seth Drakin to allow me to use the arena to prestent this special award to a special special young man. We all know who this award is going to so before we get to the award itself I see this man's whole fan base turned up. Let's go talk to them shall we?" *Kris exits the ring and goes to the first man. He is filthy and dressed in rags. Kris: "Hello there sir. May I ask your opinion of our guest of honor this evening?" Man: "Arrgh spaceships arrrgh probing arrgh conspiracy arrrgh." Kris: "It's nice to see you come out to support your brother this evening." *Kris moves on to the next guy. He is dressed in a suit and tie. Kris: "Hello sir. How about sharing your favorite memory of our guest tonight?" Man: "Where's my 50 bucks!?! You said you'd give me 50 bucks to do this!" Kris: "Shouldn't we all be so lucky to have such fond memories." *Kris goes to the 3rd man. He is an elderly man with an oxygen tank. He is asleep. Kris: "Nice to see you come out this evening sir. May I ask your opinion on our guest of honor's matches?" *The man doesn't wake up. Kris: "I couldn't have put it better myself." *Kris goes back into the ring. "Now that we've met all the Shetheads in the world why don't we bring out this city's Kobainites?" *The arena starts fillling with people. "There's standing room in the back and if that fills up sit on each other's laps." *The crowd starts chanting Kris Kobain Kris Kobain and Kris looks out and smiles a cocky smile. Kris: "That's more like it! Now let's introduce our award and our guest of honor. This man is so phenomenal that I had to combine three yes that's right count them one, two, three, awards into one. So let's here it for the first ever winner of the Kris Kobain Most Repugnant , Most Insipid and Most Obtuse Wrestler of the Year................." *Kris pulls an envelope out of his tuxedo jacket "Inspector Shetty!" *Wanna Be In L.A. starts to play and Inspector Shetty doesn't appear. Kris: "Inspector Shetty!" *Wanna Be In L.A. plays again and again Inspector Shetty doesn't appear. Kris: "All right you ungratefull bastard. I try to do something nice for you and you don't want to show up? I go out of my way to bring your whole fan base in and let me tell you something you ignoramus I had to search far and wide just to find them yet you no show? I go out and get you this beautiful trophy *Kris getting angrier and angrier grabs the trophy and smshes it on the canvas and you no show? Let me tell you something you grotesque son of a bitch when it comes to monday night and you have to walk out to that ring and face me I am going to be the living hell out of you! I can break careers as easy as I make them and if you don't believe me then use your little spirit guide Runing Horse and look up Dream Warrior. He knows all about me ending careers!" *Kris's face changes from anger to a coy grin. "Now I kind of figured that the worthless horsefaced imbicle would no show so I had a back up plan. I'm always a step ahead and don't you forget it. I have another trifecta award to hand out." *Two very attractive women in sparkling dresses carry out a giant trophy and place it on a table at the front of the ring. "Introducing the Kris Kobain award for the Most Tantalizing, Superlative and Astute wrestler of the year........." *Kris pulls another envelope out of his pocket "Kris Kobain!!!!!!" *Kris puts his shaky hand over his mouth and then fans himself as if the award was unexpected. Confetti falls from the ceiling as Kris tilts his head back and extends his arms in victory. "This is so unexpected I don't even have a speech prepared....There are so many people to thank....." *Kris walks behind the podium and pulls out a giant stack of paper. He unolls the paper as it lays across the mat he starts reading "There are many people to thank......Sara Nakatomi, Jessica Morton, you laides know why *Kris winks Alexa Anderson, Lisa Garcia and Marrissa Logan for staying the hell away from me. Mom, Dad, I did it! I'd like to thank Erica , Chris, Alyssa, Sammy, Josh, Joshua, Derek, Rebecca, Michala, Sky, Scott, Emma, Victoria, Angela, Angelica, Luke, Kristen..... The camera goes off as Kris continues to read names off the list.
Thank you.
Also, you did a good job cleaning the public bathroom. I will keep you in mind if I need to save money by firing the janitor.Ok Mr. Jar Jar Drakin it is. I made your coffee just the way you like it. Estra "cream". |
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Jonathan Michaels
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
The Archduke of Levity
Here since TNA was still kinda okay
Posts: 18,612
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Post by Jonathan Michaels on Apr 26, 2010 2:53:32 GMT -5
We are one night away from the beginning of the Era of Athleticism. I will save this company from the depths of disparity and give you all a champion that you can proud of. A champion that you can look up to. A champion you can admire.
My partner excluded, every wrestler stepping into the Thunderdome doesn't deserve the spotlight. One's a whiner, despite being the champion, one's a talented, yet foul-mouthed punk, one's a man who's more concerned with his musical preference and the other had lady luck on his side last Monday. In the middle of all of it is the beacon of depravity and, sadly, the Champion of Honor and special referee, Jonathan Michaels.
Jonathan, I will not let you screw me out of my chance to save this company. I am here as a goodwill ambassador and I will not allow you, the target, foil my plans. You may have slithered your way to the Championship of Honor, but you won't sliver your way to the WWCF Championship. Just because I will doesn't mean you can screw me out of my chance to cloud your low self-esteem. All I ask is that you stay out of my way and do what you're assigned to do: call the match down the middle.
I may have to do it in an appalling match, but I will save this company. Jonathan is laying in a lawn chair, asleep, Sara wakes him. Jonathan, YellowJacket just insulted you.Jonathan shrugs and goes back to sleep. |
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Apr 26, 2010 14:37:57 GMT -5
Seth: I may be a highly sophisticated individual and a businessman, but I do know what Star Wars is and please do not refer to me as Jar Jar Binks as if to compare me to one of the most annoying individuals of all time. To you, my name is Mr. Drakin.
Thank you.
Also, you did a good job cleaning the public bathroom. I will keep you in mind if I need to save money by firing the janitor. Ok Mr. Jar Jar Drakin it is. I made your coffee just the way you like it. Estra "cream". |
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smokinvokoun
Dennis Stamp
Daffy's Gonna Kill You
Posts: 4,770
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Post by smokinvokoun on Apr 27, 2010 3:23:06 GMT -5
Smokin walks into the WWCF arena. It's empty accept with a few REALLY hardcore fans in the front row wearing Heavy Metal Express and Boiler Room Brawler merchandiseRowdy Fans: WE WANT THE SHOW....WE WANT THE SHOW...WE WANT THE SHOW!!!! WOOOO SMOKIN VOKOUN YOU KICK ASS DUDE!!![/color] Vokoun just stares at themSmokin Vokoun Hey.....GO HOME!!!! IT'S 3:30 IN THE MORNING!!![/color] Fan: But....your still here.....[/color] Smokin Vokoun: .......GET OUT OF HERE NOW!!!!!!!!
*The frightened fans runs off as Vokoun starts throwing chair at them*
You know, this is the second time since I've been here that I come to this arena to wrestle....and there's no show. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN MANAGEMENT!!! ? Sure, I may not know anything about running a wrestling promotion....BUT THIS IS ISN'T IT!!! Are you boys in the back afraid that one of your major draws...Boiler Room Brawler...might lose his title to a nobody like me? IS IT? Well....WWCF when whenever this show ever starts, I will destroy your cash cow. LOOK AT THIS HEAD...I'VE HAD BUMS HIT ME OVER THE HEAD WITH TRASHCANS AND CHAIRS....I'M NOT GONNA LOSE MY TITLE SHOT OVER MANAGEMENT'S MISTAKE!!! Believe me BRB, your reign is coming to an end....lucky for you IT WAS EXTENDED FOR ONE MORE DAY!!!!!
*He looks under the ring and pulls out a pillow and blanket*
Oh here's where I left those......
*He walks back to the locker room with the pilliow and blanket*[/color]
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Post by Kris Kobain on Apr 27, 2010 7:48:12 GMT -5
Ok Mr. Jar Jar Drakin it is. I made your coffee just the way you like it. Estra "cream". Jessica doesn't drink coffee. She drinks straight cream. Keep that in mind Ginger Drakin. I never even knew you were irish. Where's Gilligan? |
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Apr 27, 2010 7:58:21 GMT -5
Seth: Actually, the coffee isnt for me, it is for Jessica. I only drink coffee with Gingerbread syrup. Jessica doesn't drink coffee. She drinks straight cream. Keep that in mind Ginger Drakin. I never even knew you were irish. Where's Gilligan? *Jessica comes in* Jessica: Thanks Seth for getting me the coffee.*She then leaves* Seth: Told ya..... |
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Post by Jackson "The Cool" Carter on Apr 27, 2010 8:29:53 GMT -5
I would like to sue Yellow Jacket for stealing my whole "Era of A..." schtick
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Post by YellowJacketY2J on Apr 27, 2010 10:23:44 GMT -5
I would like to sue Yellow Jacket for stealing my whole "Era of A..." schtick That could make for a good storyline. |
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Post by Kris Kobain on Apr 27, 2010 10:52:52 GMT -5
Jessica doesn't drink coffee. She drinks straight cream. Keep that in mind Ginger Drakin. I never even knew you were irish. Where's Gilligan? *Jessica comes in* Jessica: Thanks Seth for getting me the coffee.*She then leaves* Seth: Told ya.....Jessica is a two timing double crossing fithy little hoebag. |
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Post by dreamwarrior on Apr 27, 2010 12:23:54 GMT -5
A shadowy figure is shown in the rafters then he peers out you no one here probably know who i am but i am the dream warrior all my life i wanted a chance and the last few months i have seen the going ons in this place and i promise not to be a flash in the pan all I'm asking for is a match on heats so here i am throwing a open challenge
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Post by Kris Kobain on Apr 27, 2010 17:29:06 GMT -5
A shadowy figure is shown in the rafters then he peers out you no one here probably know who i am but i am the dream warrior all my life i wanted a chance and the last few months i have seen the going ons in this place and i promise not to be a flash in the pan all I'm asking for is a match on heats so here i am throwing a open challenge We know who you are kid. You're half wit that couldn't stand toe to toe with the man. The jobber that just wasn't good enough. The 15 seconds of fame that never was. Now you throw out and open challenge on my show junior? What makes you think you're good enough for one more match on Kris Kobain presents Heatz!?! Here's a tip ass clown. Every answer is the wrong answer. Go back to your high school gymnasiums and shattered dreams because you're just not good enough! |
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Post by Jay Carroll on Apr 27, 2010 18:50:49 GMT -5
*The cameras begin rolling with Jay stretched out on a training table. He pulls himself up slowly, stretching, and winces in pain as he moves his jaw.*
Three chairshots. Three Last Calls. One elimination. And when it came down to it, I was alone in the 'Dome with the World Champ.
*Jay holds an icepack to his jaw and winces again.*
Now, the easy thing to do would be to blame this rather large bruise I have on my face for the lack of gold on my waist right now. I'm supposed to swear vengeance on Sparks, to thrash him for sticking his nose in my business, ect... But, I won't. Sparks didn't cause me to lose last night. I did. I let myself get distracted, I got blasted in the face, I lost.
And this is the part where I say, "That's ok, I'll get another shot soon", right? Wrong. I'm pissed. I wanted that World Title, badly. And I was .13rds of a second away from winning it. How do I know this? I had it timed. That's a blink of an eye. I was a blink of an eye away from being WWCF World Champion.
*Jay Carroll tosses the icepack aside.*
Next time, which will be soon... There won't be .13rds of a second's difference between myself and destiny. And I personally don't care who I have to run through to get that title.
Viva, if you're lucky enough to still be World Champion when I get my next title shot, you better use the Hand of God to beat me. Because otherwise, I'm walking out the champ. I'm Jay Carroll, and I'm in it to win it.
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Apr 27, 2010 19:01:50 GMT -5
The following has been sent to WWCF.com
After a tumultous ppv, I will have an important announcement to make in a few days involving our next ppv, Survivor Tag Team Championship Series.
- Seth Drakin
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Viva
Dennis Stamp
THAT'S MY PURSE! *kick to the groin*
You can dance if you want to.
Posts: 4,099
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Post by Viva on Apr 27, 2010 19:37:53 GMT -5
*The cameras begin rolling with Jay stretched out on a training table. He pulls himself up slowly, stretching, and winces in pain as he moves his jaw.*
Three chairshots. Three Last Calls. One elimination. And when it came down to it, I was alone in the 'Dome with the World Champ. *Jay holds an icepack to his jaw and winces again.* Now, the easy thing to do would be to blame this rather large bruise I have on my face for the lack of gold on my waist right now. I'm supposed to swear vengeance on Sparks, to thrash him for sticking his nose in my business, ect... But, I won't. Sparks didn't cause me to lose last night. I did. I let myself get distracted, I got blasted in the face, I lost.
And this is the part where I say, "That's ok, I'll get another shot soon", right? Wrong. I'm pissed. I wanted that World Title, badly. And I was .13rds of a second away from winning it. How do I know this? I had it timed. That's a blink of an eye. I was a blink of an eye away from being WWCF World Champion. *Jay Carroll tosses the icepack aside.*
Next time, which will be soon... There won't be .13rds of a second's difference between myself and destiny. And I personally don't care who I have to run through to get that title.
Viva, if you're lucky enough to still be World Champion when I get my next title shot, you better use the Hand of God to beat me. Because otherwise, I'm walking out the champ. I'm Jay Carroll, and I'm in it to win it.
This is EXACTLY the shit I refer to when I say I don't get any respect. Every time I come out of that ring with my belt around my waist, it's the same god damn story.
"f***, I had that, but something happened out of my control and took it away from me. It was all my fault."
You're right, man, it is all your fault. Pay the f*** attention next time and you won't get a ice cold glass of Purple Sticky Punch.
But come on, man, you had as much control in that match as I did. You really think that it was a blink that cost you that match? No, it was someone who is savvier, smarter, and will one up you in every way possible to win. I do whatever it takes to come out of there with my belt. I've proven it time and time again.
You? You're a worthy adversary. But this isn't a f***ing game show, pal. You're going to need to do a lot more than just be 'in it to win it.' |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 27, 2010 19:45:50 GMT -5
I would like to sue Yellow Jacket for stealing my whole "Era of A..." schtick |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 27, 2010 20:11:45 GMT -5
*Sparks is shown sitting in the doctors' office getting his wounds treated. He has bandages covering almost his entire body and is still somewhat bleeding. He winces in pain as he begins talking.*
Eh...yeah. You really did a number on me, Amigo--oh wait. I mean, you guys did a number on me. Like I said before, the true colors really showed themselves tonight...didn't they? You aren't a wrestler...or a coward. No. What you are, Amigo, is a--GAHH!
*Sparks grunts loudly from the intense stinging of the medicine. He turns and glares at the doctors be*
Hey, dudes! Easy! You're harshing my flow.
*He gingerly turns back to the camera*
What you are...is a pussy. A man who proved himself in the past, but is now a politicking joke of the present. You have decided to hide behind a bunch of second-rate thugs who can't think for themselves. Hell I'll admit it. If Dave, Headbanger, and Viva didn't make the save, I may not even be here talking. I might have been stretchered away with a white blanket over my body. Let me tell you something.
That "match" was hardly a match at all. Don't rest easy tonight thinking that you've finally silenced me. I may not be on Heatz OR Niteraw. I may not even be here for the next months, but that doesn't mean I won't stop making your life miserable. All I want you to do now is keep me in your thoughts... it's the best thing to do.
Oh, and Seth. Same goes for you...boss.
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Viva
Dennis Stamp
THAT'S MY PURSE! *kick to the groin*
You can dance if you want to.
Posts: 4,099
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Post by Viva on Apr 27, 2010 20:16:57 GMT -5
*Sparks is shown sitting in the doctors' office getting his wounds treated. He has bandages covering almost his entire body and is still somewhat bleeding. He winces in pain as he begins talking.* Eh...yeah. You really did a number on me, Amigo--oh wait. I mean, you guys did a number on me. Like I said before, the true colors really showed themselves tonight...didn't they? You aren't a wrestler...or a coward. No. What you are, Amigo, is a--GAHH!*Sparks grunts loudly from the intense stinging of the medicine. He turns and glares at the doctors be* Hey, dudes! Easy! You're harshing my flow.*He gingerly turns back to the camera* What you are...is a pussy. A man who proved himself in the past, but is now a politicking joke of the present. You have decided to hide behind a bunch of second-rate thugs who can't think for themselves. Hell I'll admit it. If Dave, Headbanger, and Viva didn't make the save, I may not even be here talking. I might have been stretchered away with a white blanket over my body. Let me tell you something.
That "match" was hardly a match at all. Don't rest easy tonight thinking that you've finally silenced me. I may not be on Heatz OR Niteraw. I may not even be here for the next months, but that doesn't mean I won't stop making your life miserable. All I want you to do now is keep me in your thoughts... it's the best thing to do.
Oh, and Seth. Same goes for you...boss.
But the fact is, you're Heavy Metal Hollywood. We might not make the most ethical decisions but when push comes to shove, that's why you joined this band, right? People, they see us as just another can't hack it band that'll never be good for anything. We know the truth. You're a brother, not just in arms, but in life, and we will ALWAYS have your back. You can count on that.
Any time you're on the receiving end of a bullshit beating like the one the Family tried to lay on you, and you can rest assured that we'll be out there to back you up. All the kings horses, and all the kings men. |
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? Sure, I may not know anything about running a wrestling promotion....BUT THIS IS ISN'T IT!!! Are you boys in the back afraid that one of your major draws...Boiler Room Brawler...might lose his title to a nobody like me? IS IT?
hehehehe
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