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Post by taylorandborland on Dec 3, 2009 19:28:29 GMT -5
Way, waaaaaaaay back in grammar school, we were all big wrestling fans. Especially Da Rock. So during class, sometimes we'd raise our hands when doing classwork and ask questions like "Hey, Miss Kowaski...do you like pie?" "Why, yes," she'd respond, confused. "I do indeed like pie." "What kind of pie is your favorite?" "Oh, all kinds, why?" "One more question...how do you feel about... strudel?" "I like that too. It's pretty good." "   " Alright, I set the table, you bring the goods. |
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Post by EoE: Well There's Your Problem on Dec 3, 2009 19:32:07 GMT -5
The worst I did was saying cutesy words (like "Fluffy Bunny Rabbits") in a death metal singer voice.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2009 19:33:57 GMT -5
I did my fair share of crotch chops during my middle school years.
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Post by Metalheadbanger Man on Dec 3, 2009 19:34:13 GMT -5
I once took a watermelon into school and tried to eat all of it in 30 minutes. I think it was the last day of term one year. That same day another friend of mine drank a bottle of vinegar and felt ill for about 3 weeks.
My first band also played the talent contest in 2004, and we all had shirts printed with the most hated teacher in school's face on it to wear onstage.
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Post by indymadman on Dec 3, 2009 19:50:59 GMT -5
We had a student teacher who had a hearing problem... hearing aides and everything.... we'd (myself and a few of my a-hole friends) raise our hand and move our mouths (and not talk) as if we were talking to mess with him... we'd go in and out of actually talking, knowing he couldn't hear us...
I'm going straight to hell.
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Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Blames Everything On Snitsky. Yes, Even THAT.
Posts: 17,056
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Post by default on Dec 3, 2009 19:51:52 GMT -5
My friend used to steal chalk from his math room everyday as the math rooms had a ton of chalkboards the teachers didn't use (they had marker boards in the front by then.) For some reason though, they kept putting chalk out. He'd grind his down to dust in the final class and give me a piece. I'd grind little grips for my fingers in it, then walk down the hall after the final bell rang and draw chalk lines down lockers. You'd THINK I'd have gotten caught... but the fact that everyone was moving, noone really noticed.
We had these metal tags on the heaters that were stamped with numbers attached to little metal grips. I started unfastening them and stealing them, then I noticed you could just pull the thing and it came off. I must've gotten about a hundred of them.
We had various spots in the hall with lips and pull down cage doors like shops have to keep people out of parts of the school for say a football game or school play. During our senior show they had them down near the auditorium. I took a black crayon from the in school suspension room, scaled the thing and wrote my name on the lip in 2001. In 2004, I stopped in after riding with my mom to pick my sister up. I glanced up and it was still written there.
One day we were waiting to pick up pizzas we sold for an extra curicular club. The pizzas were put in the cafeteria freezer and the teacher wasn't there yet. My bare ass ended up sliding down the metal lunch prep line.
A friend and I stole a few books one Friday. It was weird, as neither of us mentioned it to the other and had never done it before. We ended up tearing the pages out of them and throwing them at some kid who was riding his bike out in the country.
We tipped over the football team's port-a-john a few times. My friend who was always along was on the team.
One day, my bro told me he'd pick me up if I waited at the Newspaper HQ which was across the street. Our friend who was kicked out (for a fake bomb threat) had a doctor's appointment, no ride and couldn't step foot on school property. So I leave quickly and meet him over there. He hands me a cig so I light up and we stand there smoking while students and teachers walk out. A math teacher who hated me turned around and went back in. Next thing I know, the VP is standing near the window watching me. I just stay there smoking, looking over and smiling until my bro picks me up. A bunch of kids saw me as my grade's parking lot was across from there. I got in no trouble, however, and had fun explaining to teachers who found out that they couldn't do anything except let my parents know... and my dad would've told them off.
I also peed on the heater in the senior bathroom a little before school ended as the urinals were full. Next thing I know, random kids from the football team, band club, etc. are all shoulder to shoulder as we all pissed on the thing. It became a running thing after that, tons of us pissed in the heater grinning as we imagined the smells from them turning it on the next winter.
I had a class switch over all the computers to the wrong voltage so they wouldn't power on one day we had to write papers. We got a weekend extention and did nothing all class.
I used to download the new WrestleCrap inductions back in 2000-ish and read them in computer class. (We were given five minutes to use the internet at the beginning of class and ten at the end. I'd dl the site and read it every Friday. I also had an NES emulator and Maniac Mansion, Chip 'n Dale, etc.)
There's probably a lot more I forgot. I was an instigating, almost untouchable asshole. I got in trouble twice in HS. Once for drinking soda on the bus, another time for dropping the f bomb when the VP was standing there.
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Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Blames Everything On Snitsky. Yes, Even THAT.
Posts: 17,056
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Post by default on Dec 3, 2009 19:55:55 GMT -5
Almost forgot, I got on the bus one day as a senior in HS and a kid I knew who was still in middle school brought those little lime bottles with a little lime concentrate and the rest was Everclear. His friend skipped, so I downed the other and was drunk half the day, then hungover the rest.
My bro got pissed when he found out from the kid. He had gotten kicked out a week for getting drunk with some kids on their bus ride to Vo-Tech after one of them threw up. They had a fifth of SoCal, though.
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Post by Slingshot Suplay on Dec 3, 2009 20:16:28 GMT -5
I used to turn back packs inside-out, put their stuff back inside, and tie the straps in knots. It got to the point where people were passing me backpacks from across the room and I'd do the deed and they would slide it back behind the person's chair.
If I didn't have enough time to do it, I'd just undo the straps, so when they pick up the bag to put it on their shoulder, it drops right out of their hands.
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Post by D2: Sweet & Sour Edition on Dec 3, 2009 20:21:09 GMT -5
Put a cow in the teacher's lounge on the second floor.
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Post by Alucard on Dec 3, 2009 20:22:57 GMT -5
I was an accessory to putting a bottle of urine in a student's backpack. I helped provide a distraction to allow this to happen.
Also, at one of the colleges I went to, there were these lightpost things and they had bars jutting off of them with ball things at the end to help secure a banner. I'm a tall dude. I reached up and just started unscrewing one of the fastening things at the end of the post and ran off with it. They were heavy, like, window breaking heavy. I ended up with a handful of them. Nobody ever caught me or my other friends who swiped them.
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Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Blames Everything On Snitsky. Yes, Even THAT.
Posts: 17,056
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Post by default on Dec 3, 2009 20:30:38 GMT -5
Not to go into politics, just that I wrote my senior paper on The Impact of Socialism in the USSR on the USA. I bs-ed seven pages, quoting randomly and made up that I got stuff out of books I didn't. I owned two or three of the books thanks to the county library getting rid of them. The rest I just got the info from the library. Anyway, near the end of the year the librarian says they need room for new books and they're getting rid of some outdated books and ones in really bad shape. So I go back, grab all the books I used for my report, then took them to the incinerator and went all Fahrenheit 451. The janitor, Ric Flair (spelling was different), even let me toss them in.  |
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Post by cruiserfan on Dec 3, 2009 20:32:43 GMT -5
Writing a dumb word backwards on one of my fingers in fountain pen, then printing it onto the work sheet/book/exam paper of the person sitting next to me.
Also writing love notes to the teacher in the back of your friends' exercise books, signed by "your friend".
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"Hollywood" Cactus Matt
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
You couldn't ask for a better custom title!
How do you spell "Goddess"? C-H-R-I-S-T-Y!
Posts: 15,300
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Post by "Hollywood" Cactus Matt on Dec 3, 2009 21:06:15 GMT -5
My third-year Spanish teacher made it known on our first day of class that she had asthma and it was triggered by "perfumes and colognes." She would also announce the day before when we were going to have a quiz.
I never actually put on any cologne - I can't stand the stuff myself - but I was able to talk others into doing it. Plus, since it was my first class of the day, it usually ended up cancelling the other classes' tests, too, since the teacher would leave and the subs would not give a quiz.
Pretty mean, but what the hell do you expect when you basically say, "______ is like Kryptonite to me; by the way, we're going to have a very difficult quiz tomorrow!"
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Post by The Booty Disciple on Dec 3, 2009 21:30:52 GMT -5
I've got quite a few. I was a bit of a hellraiser when I first got to college. My favorite, however...
There's a large bronze statue of Benjamin Franklin on our campus down near the Arts & Sciences Auditorium. One year, for shits and giggles, we decided to do something quite obnoxious, so we went and bought a giant pink dildo (bright pink...like, Bret Hart pink) and JB welded the sumbitch to ol' Benny's crotch. Then, in a stroke of genius, I told one of my buddies to go and get some KY, and we lubed it up so when the grounds crew tried to yank it off, their hand would just slide off and it'd look like he was jacking off Benjamin Franklin.
Sure as shit, that's exactly what happened. One of our friends got video of the ordeal, with the grounds guys cursing up a storm and a crowd of students and professors standing around watching.
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Post by LadyThrilla on Dec 3, 2009 21:46:24 GMT -5
Well when nominations were made for Class Offices (Class President....Vice President..etc.) instead of writing down the names of the potential canidates....me and my buddies tricked this one kid at our table into writing down wrestlers namesin the nominations so he wrote downlike Viscera, Faarooq, Mideon and some others well..he didn't know we changed our aroundso when the teacher came to get our papers we votedon he looked at his paper and said (Mideon...Viscera..ok whos the wise ass) and weall started laughin...
We were ub a group project in science one time and this kid who was in our group (well it wasa group of 4 paired together) and we neverlet him in on stuff so we would do the project right but when it came too him we would tell him different (like if it took 3 cups we would tell him 5) so the teacher would come around too see his project and it would always mess up either spewing out fast..or blowing somethin up...oddly enough the teachernever caught on...
Had this kid who would bring his books to class but we had to wait on the teacher so thekid would leave his books and go talk to some people so I would take his book and put it in a vacant locker that was next too meand we would leave it in there a few days then return it and put it on th teachers desk...anyway so he would borrow a book from the class and a few days later his book would show up...teahcernever believed him....Also used to take his book and throw it down the hallway he would get in trouble for that....the same kid used to break his pencils so he would borrow a pencil from the teacher and my buddy would take it and breakit on him so he would end up using a tiny piece of the pencil...
LadyThrilla
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Post by Shy Guy on Dec 3, 2009 21:54:49 GMT -5
band geek. i'm innocent |
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Post by Banjo Is Broken on Dec 3, 2009 21:56:19 GMT -5
band geek. i'm innocent But this one time at band camp.... It's okay. You can tell us.  |
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"Hollywood" Cactus Matt
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
You couldn't ask for a better custom title!
How do you spell "Goddess"? C-H-R-I-S-T-Y!
Posts: 15,300
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Post by "Hollywood" Cactus Matt on Dec 3, 2009 21:58:23 GMT -5
band geek. i'm innocent But this one time at band camp.... It's okay. You can tell us. {Spoiler}Please? {Spoiler}
Pretty please? |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2009 22:14:42 GMT -5
I used to have a partner in crime in High School (lets just call him Josh)...well actually I was his, since he was a Junior and I was a Freshman. For the end of school talent show we we're gonna do a skit, but Josh wanted us all to have personas. Mine was Igloo, a white rapper that wore a hairnet. We did a skit where our friend Trevor (who was gimmickless) ate an eggplant and washed it down with Diet Sprite Remix.
We then sang a 20 second song about Diet Sprite to the tune of "It's A Hard Knock Life" from Annie.
We also brought it back that Christmas for the Christmas Talent Contest, where Josh planted a harmonica into a Subway sandwich and played it. I then interrupted and he replied "...it's okay, I had Subway...". We got second. The guy that placed first was a total nerd turned sellout "rocker" (had a band that was pretty much just a cover band) who wrote a song about the whole school to the tune of Adam Sandler's Hanukkah Song, including outing me and Josh (not to mention calling me Edward in the song, which at the time for me was as big a sin as mass murder). I still remember the crowd chanting "Cole! Cole! Cole! Cole!"
Of course I got my revenge. He came through the store a couple of years ago during Christmas. I tried to play it cool and quoted his song, to which he replied "Yeah...sure, whatever the f*** you're talking about." Which I then took the opportunity to out him for the poser he always was in front of my fellow co-workers. I thought they would be mad, I was surprised when alot of other people found him to be rather douchey as well.
Outside of that, nothing that isn't humiliating.
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Post by TOK Is the Target Demo on Dec 3, 2009 22:24:31 GMT -5
Well, I'm still in high school, so I have time to build up some good stories. Generally, I'm the class shithead, especially since I'm in the smart classes and everyone else is mainly goody-goody most of the time.
One of the best stories was the day of the class battle at my school. We were freshmen, and were extremely excited for it. In an attempt to get everyone even more excited, I decided to give an inspirational speech. It was just after 300 came out, so I ended it with "TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL" at the top of my lungs. Just as I say this, the teacher comes in and loses it.
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