Just Jay
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Post by Just Jay on Dec 28, 2009 14:42:58 GMT -5
Hey my fellow crappers, consider this the 2nd time in my life that I've ever sought help from you guys. But I feel like this time I've really reached the end of the road.
So, to give you all the cliff notes version of my situation, I've pretty much been with a girl that although I've liked spending time with I've felt as though I've been doing the grunt of the work. You know, making an effort to talk to her, see how she feels, etc. Everything that I've been doing feels like I've been directing it towards a brick wall. I understand that she has multiple personality disorder and things are difficult for her, but I feel like we don't have much in common.
So around Christmas, I came up with the decision to break up with her, but I thought about giving her a couple days so I could at least give her her Christmas present. Well, last night I spoke with her and she told me that she missed her period, (apparently due before a week before Christmas) which has left me in a horrible position. I'm 22, and on the heels of graduating undergraduate college. My parents are extremely strict and old fashioned Haitian immigrants, and I live with them both. I haven't been able to sleep last night because all I can think about is the thought of me letting my super religious parents down.
Without getting into specifics, worst comes to worst I know exactly what I have to do since I'm completely unable to take care of it. My biggest worry out of that is that I'm not sure if I can handle that financially, since money has always been an issue with where I work.
Whew, it felt good to say that. Just thought I'd post my thoughts. Feel free to post any advice or anything fellow crappers. I know I can at least always count on you guys.
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Post by Red Impact on Dec 28, 2009 14:49:08 GMT -5
You said she has multiple personality disorder? I mean, if this person is mentally unstable, I'd be skeptical about her claims for that reason, because you don't know what her state of mind was in telling you.
Not saying that it isn't serious, but I don't know if I'd take her word as gospel until I knew for sure.
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domrep
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 7,461
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Post by domrep on Dec 28, 2009 14:54:01 GMT -5
You need to go see a doctor ASAP, and try and get blood work and all that stuff done to make sure it's even yours to begin with. You just never know.
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Just Jay
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Post by Just Jay on Dec 28, 2009 14:56:10 GMT -5
That's what my brother and nephew were saying. I remember very vividly the last time I was intimate with her there wasn't anything remotely close to an accident occurring. Then again, I remember that she told me that she never lies and absolutely hates it.
I'm so lost. I've never felt this hopeless before.
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Post by Red Impact on Dec 28, 2009 15:03:12 GMT -5
That's what my brother and nephew were saying. I remember very vividly the last time I was intimate with her there wasn't anything remotely close to an accident occurring. Then again, I remember that she told me that she never lies and absolutely hates it. I'm so lost. I've never felt this hopeless before. Like you said, multiple personality disorder. I mean, mentally sane woman have lied to try to see how devoted people are to them, if you aren't sure about it, you need to get it tested to be sure. ONce you know for sure, then you can try to figure out what to do.
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Just Jay
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Post by Just Jay on Dec 28, 2009 15:16:00 GMT -5
True true. She didsay that she was "afraid" to get tested even though I demanded that she did. I'm very weary because I know that I didn't slip up.
But I have a ton of doubts about her...I have no idea why she is telling me this on Sunday when she was out drinking at a family Christmas function Friday. I'll have her get tested, but in the meantime I have no plans to communicate with her. If she's really pregnant I'm sure she'll tell me at some point during this week. What I fail to understand is why she would wait so long to tell me? I think it may have something to do with the fact that I' haven't talked to her for whole days (and she has told me that she's quite jealous of the other girls posting on my facebook and thinks I can be with just any other girl)
Though I don't want to fabricate my own excuse, with the information I just wrote what do you think?
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Post by salsashark on Dec 28, 2009 15:20:59 GMT -5
That's an extremely tough situation. I'm sorry, man.
Yes, do get her to double check with a test. If she's not lying, I'd recommend going forth with the schma-shmor-smotion (that is apparently the only thing I've retained from Knocked Up) because, knowing both of your situations, that child is being set up for a ton of problems from the get-go. Good luck.
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Post by Young Game on Dec 28, 2009 15:26:25 GMT -5
You said your parents are Haitian immigrants...
Eh, let's put the religious stuff aside, joking or not. -Clash
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domrep
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 7,461
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Post by domrep on Dec 28, 2009 15:34:06 GMT -5
True true. She didsay that she was "afraid" to get tested even though I demanded that she did. I'm very weary because I know that I didn't slip up. But I have a ton of doubts about her...I have no idea why she is telling me this on Sunday when she was out drinking at a family Christmas function Friday. I'll have her get tested, but in the meantime I have no plans to communicate with her. If she's really pregnant I'm sure she'll tell me at some point during this week. What I fail to understand is why she would wait so long to tell me? I think it may have something to do with the fact that I' haven't talked to her for whole days (and she has told me that she's quite jealous of the other girls posting on my facebook and thinks I can be with just any other girl) Though I don't want to fabricate my own excuse, with the information I just wrote what do you think? Exhibit A as to why I was never facebook friends with my ex-girlfriend. Some take that stuff too seriously. Get her tested and go from there. No need to freak out if you don't know for sure.
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B.B.M
Hank Scorpio
Scavenger Hunt All-Star
Where did the Lime go?
Posts: 7,404
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Post by B.B.M on Dec 28, 2009 15:49:18 GMT -5
Time for a serious post. **Puts on suit**
You ain't the only one who thinks he's talking to a brick wall most time, if you know what I mean. What needs to be done here, is a One-on-One talk. Not about problems, not about feelings, but about yourselves. If that fails, then you pull out the problem/feeling talk.
I'm younger than you, and what i've learnt is Parents can tell you alot of things, but at the end of the day, it's your life. If they control you, you won't be able to control yourself, thus will make you keep thinking "What should I do?" all the time. Try and think how their parents felt, when you were inside your mother. and look at them now.
I think you might be also to sign up for something, to help you with that. In the UK, there is a system, to help the 18-25 demographic like us, and they'll supply you with the ammount of money you need, until you can do it yourself. I don't know if there is something like that around your parts, but it doesn't hurt to look.
At the end of the day, you have to become the leader, and your main priority is her, and that child. Parents can scream as loud as they want, but they will remember that there could be a child coming, and will end up helping you.
Even if they don't help, remember, you're not alone. There are organizations out there to help you through this. Your friends can also help. At the end of the day, a child is coming, and nobody can't fool around.
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Post by Big BosskMan on Dec 28, 2009 18:15:45 GMT -5
OK, you say she has multiple personality disorder and that she hates lying. How do you know which personality you were talking to/was talking to you that night?
The best course of action is to get a blood test to confirm pregnancy. Go with her and request that you also receive a copy of the results separately from her - to ensure that she doesn't try to put one over on you and claim pregnancy to keep whatever "relationship" you have together.
If pregnant, break the news to your folks and do the best you can to support her and the baby.
If not pregnant, immediately drop this chick and run because I predict nothing but future trouble from her. You will never know which personality will show up - the good, bad, or the ugly. If she fakes pregnancy, what else might she do?
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Just Jay
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Post by Just Jay on Dec 28, 2009 18:45:09 GMT -5
B.B.M, you speak the truth. Its scary, but you said the truth. No matter how afraid I am of my parents, I'm going to have to deal with it.
pushkilla15, I've only known one constant personality in the time I've known her. Its largely apathetic. I have no idea what goes on around her, but I know that everytime I talk to her it seems as though she's always bothered.
I'm so screwed. I don't fear taking responsibility or anything of that. I'm horrified of breaking my parents's hearts. I know my Mom will just die of heartache.
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Just Jay
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DIESEL!?!?!
Posts: 3,282
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Post by Just Jay on Dec 29, 2009 0:18:21 GMT -5
Good news everyone! Since she's dealing with a lot of issues, she had basically told me that she's not ready for a relationship right now. This means that her pregnancy story, is a lie! I'm free!
But seriously, I want to take the time to thank all of you guys for helping me out. Seriously, thanks to all you guys for your help.
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Post by salsashark on Dec 29, 2009 0:36:43 GMT -5
Good news everyone! Since she's dealing with a lot of issues, she had basically told me that she's not ready for a relationship right now. This means that her pregnancy story, is a lie! I'm free! But seriously, I want to take the time to thank all of you guys for helping me out. Seriously, thanks to all you guys for your help. Congratulations! A tip: Never go out with her again!
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Post by Red Impact on Dec 29, 2009 1:56:49 GMT -5
Good news everyone! Since she's dealing with a lot of issues, she had basically told me that she's not ready for a relationship right now. This means that her pregnancy story, is a lie! I'm free! But seriously, I want to take the time to thank all of you guys for helping me out. Seriously, thanks to all you guys for your help. Which is more or less the lesson of the parable: Girlfriends are perfectly capable of lying, even if they say they're not.
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Mr T L Wolf
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Post by Mr T L Wolf on Dec 29, 2009 1:59:27 GMT -5
Good news everyone! Since she's dealing with a lot of issues, she had basically told me that she's not ready for a relationship right now. This means that her pregnancy story, is a lie! I'm free! But seriously, I want to take the time to thank all of you guys for helping me out. Seriously, thanks to all you guys for your help. Yeah, that's one card that totally sucks to have played on you. Glad it worked out for you in the end, bud.
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Parrish
El Dandy
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Post by Parrish on Dec 29, 2009 2:36:04 GMT -5
tell her the baby can't be yours because you caught the gay
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Cranjis McBasketball
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Knew what the hell that thing was supposed to be
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Post by Cranjis McBasketball on Dec 29, 2009 2:46:22 GMT -5
Good news everyone! Since she's dealing with a lot of issues, she had basically told me that she's not ready for a relationship right now. This means that her pregnancy story, is a lie! I'm free! But seriously, I want to take the time to thank all of you guys for helping me out. Seriously, thanks to all you guys for your help. I hope she told you she's not pregnant and not just that she doesn't want a relationship. Being pregnant and single means free cash from you, being together means spending time with you and paying you some attention. There is a distinct difference, so I hope she said she is not pregnant.
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Post by carter 15 on Dec 29, 2009 7:27:47 GMT -5
Good news everyone! Since she's dealing with a lot of issues, she had basically told me that she's not ready for a relationship right now. This means that her pregnancy story, is a lie! I'm free! But seriously, I want to take the time to thank all of you guys for helping me out. Seriously, thanks to all you guys for your help. Which is more or less the lesson of the parable: Girlfriends are perfectly capable of lying, even if they say they're not. Haha, yeah, usually people that are lying, won't tell you they're lying. Because they're lying. Damn Liars. Liars.
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Grendel
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
But ... why is all the rum gone?
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Post by Grendel on Dec 29, 2009 8:28:52 GMT -5
Good news everyone! Since she's dealing with a lot of issues, she had basically told me that she's not ready for a relationship right now. This means that her pregnancy story, is a lie! I'm free! But seriously, I want to take the time to thank all of you guys for helping me out. Seriously, thanks to all you guys for your help. I hope she told you she's not pregnant and not just that she doesn't want a relationship. Being pregnant and single means free cash from you, being together means spending time with you and paying you some attention. There is a distinct difference, so I hope she said she is not pregnant. And if she is pregnant, under no circumstances do you sign anything claiming paternity until you get the test results. If you find out later the kid isn't yours and you signed something saying it is, you will be doubly screwed as most states paternity and child support laws are really screwed up and you will still have to pay support. Don't even sign the damn birth certificate or anything else. It sounds callous, but it's the only way to go until you find out anything. I've known at least 5 guys in the last decade who were told by their girlfriend that she was pregnant with their baby and it turned out not to be. That being said, if she turns out to not be pregnant, your best bet may be to cut and run and not have anything to do with her.
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