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Post by The Tank on Aug 5, 2010 22:00:43 GMT -5
WCTNA.com Exclusive!
Jeremy Borash here with X-Division Championship #1 Contender Samoa Joe and my broadcast colleague Taz. Taz, let me start with you...
*Taz suddenly grabs the mic out of JB's hand.*
You started. You're finished. Get lost.
*JB looks at Taz with confusion until Joe turns from facing the camera to facing JB. JB then bolts off-camera.*
Now I been hearin' it all week: "Why'd ya do it, Taz? Why'd ya jump Jay Lethal from behind?"
Why? WHY?!? Because I got tired of being treated like a f***in' joke, that's why!!!
Nine years ago, I took a position doing commentary in the WWE. I did it for one reason, and that was because my neck finally got f***ed up beyond repair, and I didn't believe gettin' surgery again just to risk endin' up in a wheelchair or worse was a very good idea. But I didn't want to be takin' Vince McMahon's money to sit around on my ass, so I had two choices at the time: quit...or take the commentary job. I figure "I ain't gonna be doin' this so long, so might as well have a little fun with it". And it wasn't too bad of a ride, I'll admit.
But I did not intend to be sittin' in that chair for NINE YEARS! So I walk away, WCTNA makes me an offer...and I'm right back in the booth. I ain't doin' nothin' of value up there but pretendin' Mike Tenay didn't lose his touch back in WCW and tryin' to hide the fact that Don West is a f***in' moron.
I did not quit WWE to keep doin' the same pointless crap I been doin' up there. I came to WCTNA to make an impact, pardon the pun. So for the last few months, I been scannin' the roster lookin' for a guy in need of direction. And every time, I came back to this man, to Samoa Joe.
Even before I came here I heard the comparisons. "Yo, you gotta check out this guy Samoa Joe! He's like you from back when you were a wreckin' machine!" So I did, and what did I find but what everyone had been sayin': This guy may very well be the best wrestler on the planet right now. And yet...
...he's wastin' his time bein' muscle for a little chump like Petey Williams? So I had a little chat with Joe, and needless to say we came to an agreement: I watch his back, help him train, give him what guidance I can.........and he goes to the top of this industry where he belongs. Just like Kazarian learned these last two weeks. Just like Jay Lethal's hopefully learned, because if he don't understand the force of nature he's steppin' in the ring with, well...
*Taz hands the mic to Joe.*
They said it for Taz back in the day, and they say it about me today. Once again, Jay Lethal, this is not a chant, it's a fact.
Joe's. Gonna. Kill You.
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Post by Triple H buried SnS on Aug 5, 2010 23:18:23 GMT -5
Yep, ey is fine. Still don't know what to do with him.
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Post by The Tank on Aug 7, 2010 14:36:46 GMT -5
So, the show's tonight, right? I don't want to find out I promo'd for nothing.
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Aug 7, 2010 14:56:07 GMT -5
Yes. If people are here for it this week!
Seriously, because of the PPV we CANNOT postpone the show so at least one person has to show up.
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Post by The Tank on Aug 7, 2010 14:58:02 GMT -5
I'll be here, Scotty.
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Aug 7, 2010 16:01:17 GMT -5
Tenay: Welcome to iMPACT as we are just twenty-four hours away from Destination X.
West: What a mainevent we have, AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels teaming up against High Flight? How can the possibly co-exist?
Tenay: Same could be said of Kurt Angle and D'Angelo Dinero as they take on the Motor City Machine Guns.
West: And we got Raven v Stevie as well. What a show this should be.
*Eric Bischoff comes to the ring with his usual smug grin*
Welcome to WCTNA iMPACT!
What a card we have for tonights show. What a main event. World Champion AJ Styles teaming with Christopher Daniels to take on Tag Team Champions High Flight. What insane genius thought that up? Oh right, it was me.
But moving on, last week I came up with an idea. An idea that would benefit both Mick Foley and Tommy Dreamer. So Mick, if you would kindly come down here.
*Mick Foley comes down to the ring*
First of all, Eric, cut the crap. The things you do only benefit one person. Yourself.
When you took over WCW, you did so for one reason. So that you would be the golden boy, the man who turned the corner. And under you WCW made a profit. But that wasn't enough. You wanted to challenge WCWWE. So with the help of Turner's deep pockets you stole away Vince's stars. And with the help of an angle you stole from Japan, you made WCW the hottest promotion in North America. You'll tell anybody who listens that you beat WCWWE for 84 straight weeks. But that's the point. You became obessesed with putting Vince McMahon out of buisness that you ignored all else. You ran the same shows, with the same guys on top while WCWWE shook things up. And eventually WCWWE clawed back ground, with the help of a guy called Steve Austin, who you let go because you didn't think he was a star!
Then you started to get desperate. You threw away big matches on Nitro because the ratings where more important you to. And when WCWWE countered this by having a Mankind v The Rock main event, what did you do? You had Tony Schiavone sarcastically comment that Mankind as world champion would "sure put some butts in the seats." When I heard those words I was sickened. I called Tony and sure enough, those words were yours, not his. To this day I am still disgusted that you would disrespect a man who worked so hard for you, who you made a joke out of when he got a career threatening concussion.
But let me tell you Eric, I have put butts in seats! I am proud of my legacy, that of a three-time world champion, a New York Times best selling author, a Hardcore Legend and more importantly a devoted husband and father. But you Eric? Your legacy will be forever assosiated with the failure of WCW. But for all your failures, none of them were ever your fault. That is what you are Eric. A leech. You take full crdit for any successes and no accountability for any failures. So let's not kid ourselves that your're doing this out of the kindess of your heart.
Mick, come on? Can't you give me the benefit of the doubt? Just this once?
Eric, I don't trust you. I never have. But let's get thos proposal of yours over with.
Alright then, let's bring out Tommy Dreamer!
*Tommy Dreamer comes to the ring wearing a WCTNA shirt*
You know I have a lot of things to say to you, Eric. But I think Mick pretty much covered it. You want to know why I turned you down all these years ago? You took wrestling and ripped the heart out of it. You homogenised it. You santised it. You took guys like The Sandman and Mikey Whipwreck and took away everything that made them unique. You ripped out their very souls!
Funny, I seem to remember Mick here doing his damndest to get you to join WCW. Was I mistaken about that?
No, oh no. You see this is what makes us different. I can admit when I made a mistake. I was naive, I was a fool. Because you wanna know the truth, Uncle Eric? These people here, the ones that chant for us every night, the ones I encourged Tommy to rebel against. They're no better than you are. In fact you're worse. Because at least the fans appriciate what we've done. They cheer us, they'll chant "This is awesome!" when the see a good match but you? You take wrestlers and you ride them past the point of usefulness, then you'll put them down. I learned that when my concussion became a joke, when the loss of my ear was glossed over.
So if Tommy is coming to work for WCTNA, he's coming to work for me, not you.
Well that brings me to why we're here. How are the contract negotiations going? Not good, is it?
We're getting there.
What if I said I can get Tommy a contract tommorrow night? All he has to do is win a match on the PPV. It's that simple.
Wait a minute, what's the catch?
No catch. All you have to do is defeat my handpicked opponent.
Fine, I'll do it.
Tommy, let's think about this.
Mick, what's there to think about. Just tell me who my opponent is, Bischoff.
That's the best part. Your opponent....will be your old friend Raven!
Eric? You just gave me the exact thing I wanted.
Well then it's settled. I'll see you gentlemen tomorrow night.
*Bischoff's music plays again as he leaves the ring*
Tenay: Dreamer v Raven tomorrow night!
West: And if Dreamer wins he becomes a WCTNA employee!
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Aug 7, 2010 16:05:49 GMT -5
*Samoa Joe and Taz are standing by backstage.*
Jay Lethal, make sure you pay attention to Samoa Joe's match tonight. I want you to make sure you're good and ready for this Sunday.
See, even though Eric Young is just another victim, we ain't takin' this match easy. Joe knows and I know that tonight ain't about beatin' Eric Young, it's about showin' you what's gonna happen tomorrow night. We gotta make sure you understand that when you step into that ring...you ain't steppin' out. You're leavin' on a stretcher. Hell, you'll be lucky if you don't end up leavin' in a body bag.
So get whatever you need to get sorted out sorted out before tomorrow night. Get your affairs in order. Say goodbye to your family, your friends, and of course the X-Division Title. Because we know and hopefully you know...say it with me, folks...Joe's gonna kill you.
*Joe and Taz leave, but Joe steps back into the frame again before leaving.*
Oh, good luck against Brian Kendrick tonight. We'll be watching.
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Aug 7, 2010 16:06:56 GMT -5
That opening promo wasn't half bad considering I wrote the whole thing myself.
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Aug 7, 2010 16:08:49 GMT -5
Val: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by Taz, from the Nation of Violence, weighing 280 pounds, Samoa Joe!
Tenay: Joe seting his sights on Jay Lethal and the X Division championship this Sunday.
West: Which is bad news for Jay Lethal.
Val: His opponent, residing in Nashville, Tennesse, weighing 225 pounds, Eric Young!
West: And it's even worse news for Eric Young.
Tenay: EY got the luck, if you can call it that, of the draw tonight having to face Samoa Joe.
West: Yeah, good luck.
Samoa Joe v Eric Young
3 votes
10 minutes
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Post by The Tank on Aug 7, 2010 16:09:19 GMT -5
It's huge.
Makes my promo that came up after it look even more pathetic than it already was.
EDIT:
1. Joe with the facewash.
2. PN, Nation of Violence is over. (Save for the 'tron, which still says that like it does in real life.) He's back to being from Samoa or The Isle of Samoa or whatever it is they say IRL these days. (Unless they went back to saying Nation of Violence IRL. Don't watch much real TNA these days.)
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Aug 7, 2010 16:13:20 GMT -5
It's huge. Makes my promo that came up after it look even more pathetic than it already was. So I read "It's huge, it makes mine look pathetic." Thank you for that. |
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Post by The Tank on Aug 7, 2010 16:16:45 GMT -5
It's huge. Makes my promo that came up after it look even more pathetic than it already was. So I read "It's huge, it makes mine look pathetic." Thank you for that. Saw that coming. |
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Aug 7, 2010 16:23:27 GMT -5
Joe gets EY in a rear chinlock but Young fights up to his feet and gets out of it with a couple of elbows. Young goes into the ropes but runs into a powerslam. Joe drives EY into the corner and hits a huge kick. Joe then sets EY on the top rope. Muscle Buster! 1-2-3!
Val: Here is your winner, Samoa Joe!
Tenay: Joe makes short work of Eric Young here tonight.
West: I hope Lethal was watching because that could be his future.
*The Beautiful People are shown in the back.*
I can't believe you got Lacey to give you that spot in the #1 contenders match. You have her wrapped around that cute little finger of yours! I mean, we should have been in the match over them anyway. I mean, we are the Beautiful People. We have held 5 titles between the two of us. We were robbed of the title win back at Victory Road. It isn't really taking anything away from Leather 'n Lace if it shouldn't have been theirs to begin with. Right? Right! And now we take on Thunder & Lighting this sunday and take back what is rightfully ours!
*Stares in amazement* Did you even take a breath during that?
*slightly out of breath* ..yea, small one. Sorry, I got worked up.
Yea, this sunday The Beautiful people will stand victorious over Thunder & Lightning and become two time Tag Team Champions. But first, you must take on Sarita tonight. Don't worry about winning the match so much as trying to make sure she isn't 100% for her title defense.
*Nods in agreement* Right! And Kong takes on your #1 fan's tag team partner... Traci. Hopefully Traci gets in a few licks on Kong before she gets squashed. I would rather not see Kong be 100% either.
Well, maybe there's something we can do to help make that happen...
*Love leans in close to Velvet as the shot fades to black*
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Aug 7, 2010 16:26:27 GMT -5
Val: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Detroit, Michigan, at a combined weight of 420 pounds, Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin, the Motor City Machine Guns!
Tenay: The number one contenders for the tag titles facing a tough test ahead of their titles match against The Pope and the Olympic Gold Medalist.
West: If Angle and Dinero can get on the same page that is.
Val: Their opponents, first, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing 240 pounds, Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle!
Tenay: And and Dinero meet tomorrow night to determine who will be the next #1 contender for the World title.
West: Finally, Pope gets his due.
Val: And his partner, from Harlem, New York, weighing 220 pounds, "The Pope" D'Angelo Dinero!
West: Well, here comes the Pope!
Tenay: Dinero will get the shot at the world title he craves but he has to get through the Olympic Gold Medalist to get it done.
West: And tonight they're partners.
Kurt Angle & D'Angelo Dinero v Motor City machine Guns
3 votes
10 minutes
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Post by The Tank on Aug 7, 2010 16:28:22 GMT -5
Sabin and Shelley with seventeen double team moves in 4.3 seconds.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2010 16:30:55 GMT -5
Sabin and Shelley with a DWI
Driving Whist being Illinoians
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Post by The Tank on Aug 7, 2010 16:32:22 GMT -5
Sabin and Shelley with a DWI Driving Whist being Illinoians .............Detroit's in Michigan, bucko. |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2010 16:33:05 GMT -5
Sabin and Shelley with a DWI Driving Whist being Illinoians .............Detroit's in Michigan, bucko. Lies and Hogwash |
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Aug 7, 2010 16:42:23 GMT -5
Angle takes control on Alex Shelley Angle whips Shelley into the ropes but Shelley reverses. Angle ducks a closthesline and Anglke hits a German, then another and another. Angle goes for a fourth German when Shelley blocks it and sends Angle ionto his own corner. Dinero tags himself in. Dinero gets Shelley in a rear wasitlock and tries to make sure Angle is watching. Sabin comes in and hits Enziguri. Shelley hits the Sliced Bread #2. 1-2-3!
Val: Here are you winners, the Motor City Machine Guns!
Angle gets in Dinero face about the lose and Dinero shoves him back. Angel responds with a European Uppercut and punches away on Dinero in the corner. Dinero counters and sets Angle in the corner. Dinero pulls the kneeoads down to go for the Pope Mobile until officials stop him.
West: Man, this is all breaking down between Angle and Dinero.
Tenay: Well they'll meet tomorrow night at Destination X.
Sarita and Kong are backstage.
I can‘t be the only one fed up with this. The Hairspray Harlots are worse than freakin‘ cockroaches!
What the hell has to be done to knock them out completely?! I see I‘m facing one of you tonight. No, I don‘t care enough to see which one. Let tonight be a preview of our title match tomorrow. These belts will not be leaving our deserving waists, I can tell you that right now.
And for some reason, Kong has a match with Traci Brooks. Traci, I know you and Kong go back a ways, back to when electrocution was in. But Kong doesn‘t care about that. Kong is focused on one thing and that‘s showing your little tag along blondie pal that she got lucky last week. You‘re an example Traci and that‘s all you are.
Thunder and Lightning are the dominant females here in WCTNA and it‘s about time the rest of these so-called women fell in line. This is our show, ladies!
You‘re just the supporting cast.
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Aug 7, 2010 16:45:13 GMT -5
Val: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. First, accompanied by Angelina Love, from The Big Apple, representing the Beautiful People, Velvet Sky!
Tenay; After manipulating their way into a #1 contdners match for the Knockout tag titles, the BP have found themselves with title oppourtunity this Sunday
West: They won the match, didn't they?
Tenay: They weren't in the match to begin with until Angelina talked Lacey into giving up her spot.
Val: Her opponent, from Mexico City, she is one half of the WCTNA Knockout Tag Team Champions, Sarita!
Tenay: Kong not at ringside due to her match with Traci Brooks later on.
West: And I am thankful for that.
Tenay: But it does give the BP a two-on-one advantage.
West: I bet Angelina is just out here to watch.
Tenay: Yeah, sure.
Sarita v Velvet Sky
3 votes
10 minutes
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