Monday NiteRaw August 2nd, 2010The show kicks off with a recap off last weeks PPV results, focusing heavily on Tyfo successfully capturing the WWCF Championship and DR Jackson becoming the Number One Contender, the PPV ends with them staring down...
"Too Black, Too Strong... DAMN RIGHT!"
I Made It - Kevin RudolfA loud mixed reaction scatters across the arena as the "Damn Right" Jackson steps out of the curtain with a big smile on his face.
Michael Muffer: Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing at this time, the new number one contender to the WWCF Championship... "Damn Right" Jackson!Jackson opens up his jacket, and motions for a belt over his stomach as he struts down to the ring...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Good evening ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Monday NiteRaw! We're fresh off of a hot, hot Botch at the Beach and we're kicking it off right away with the man who pinned Jonathan Michaels to become the NEW Number One Contender for the WWCF Championship!Jesse King: It was a great night, we saw Square and Hangman become new Tag Team Champions, Jackson making it to the next level and most importantly we have a new World Champion... Mr. Money in the Bank, Tyfo!Gorilla Tim Hoss: And we now know, at BattleBowl, it will be Tyfo defending his newly won title against this man, "Damn Right" Jackson!Jackson rolls into the ring and soaks in the crowds mixed reaction, mouthing to the chorus of "I Made It", he motions for a mic...
DR Jackson: You heard right folks, last week at Botch at the Beach, after all the adversity I've had to face in this company since day one... Mr. "Damn Right" Jackson has done it, I have now officially earnt my shot to compete for the WrestleCrap Heavyweight Championship of the World!The mixed reaction continues...
I heard what everyone was saying heading into this match... "A boy like him can't make it", "He doesn't stand a chance against Jono", "He's just a n*****..." well I gave it my all, I showed just exactly what kind of heart the Black Dynasty has, and I'm finally making that big step that I've long deserved!
Now, not for nothin' Jonathan Michaels put up a great fight, quite possibly one of the toughest I've had to ever face in this industry, everytime we've ever faced, he's simply gotten tougher and tougher... however it was his own overconfidence that cost him... and that is why he's NOT set to challenge for the World Title in 4 weeks...
However chin up Jonny, your time will come. I bet on it. Something tells me you'll be in the ring with the World Champion sooner than you think.
And speaking of the World Champion, I cannot overlook my opponent. Tyfo, one of the veterans of this company, part of the "Legendary" Family. Tyfo you've been here for over two years and you've finally got your hands on the big one. You've stepped into the ring with anyone who's anyone here and now you are the top man of this company...The crowd pop big time for this, as a loud "Tyfo!" chant breaks out... Jacksons smile slowly begins to fade, as his tone of voice starts to get more serious, more emotional...
However the champion before you, was also part of The Family... The champion before that was a member of Heavy Metal Hollywood, the champion before that was once a member of The Story... are you sensing my pattern here? Every single champion this company has had was at some stage part of a Stable or Tag Team that helped them get into prominence...
They were lucky, they were the fortunate sons, they were thrown a bone and the all had friends that would help them grow and evolve...The mixed reaction fades more into boos as Jackson's voice gets noticably more bitter, more jaded...
I never had that luxury, all my life I've been alone. Not just because I chose to fight alone, but because no one had ever even given me a chance! I've had to grow up, evolve and fight all by myself... I've come this far, and I will not allow myself to be seen as a weaker man because of it!
My people had suffered for generations, I had always been considered bellow even a second class citizen, I've fought my way up to the top and I'm not going to let my people, and myself down!Jackson gets a little choked up, as he takes time to collect himself... Suddenly a dueling "Let's go Jackson!"/"Let's go Tyfo!" chant breaks out... Jackson wipes his eyes and he forces himself to talk calmer.
So Tyfo, prepare yourself, collaborate with your team mates... Because you are fighting a man on a mission. A man who has come from nothing at all, a man who has everything to gain, but also everything to lose...
I hope you don't think of me as "that angry black man, who's an angry black man for the sake of being an angry black man" like your buddy Jay Carroll likes to view me as, I hope you realise that what you coming for you is all too real. The Black Dynasty, the Era of Attitude will not falter...
Neither Enemy Nor Friend... Damn Right!Jackson drops the mic and steps out of the ring... the dueling chant continues as Jackson starts to walk up the ramp... Suddenly Jessica Morton appears on the Craptron.
Jessica: DR Jackson, you showed quite a bit of passion there, and it was met with an equal amount of passion by the WWCF Galaxy. They really want to see You vs Tyfo happen, and I'm going to give them what they want! Tonight, WWCF Champion Tyfo will team up with former champ Jay Carroll to take on you, "Damn Right" Jackson and a partner of your choosing... And that will make up tonight's Main Event!The crowd explode at the idea of this match, Jackson looks up at the Tron, without even a smirk, he looks down and simply walks to the back...
Gorilla Tim Hoss: WHAT? Did you hear that Jesse? Tyfo and Jackson will face off in this very ring later on tonight!Jesse King: I'm as shocked as you are partner, I can't wait. Best of all it's a Tag Team Match, Tyfo and Jay are already team mates... but what friend does Jackson have? I bet he's going to regret opening his big mouth now!Mad Man V. M.O.P.*Down With the Sickness*
Mad Man walks out, mic in hand.
Tonight I take on the esteemed M.O.P, but my true target in my reign of Madness is safe. Next Week however.....I shall continue my crusade against my true target. A man that prides himself of cool rationality. A man of considerable power and influence. I WILL attack a former champion next week. Be on your guard one and all for when the dust settles, your Prophet will stand victorious over a fallen King, and the real story will begin. *Days of the Phoenix*
M.O.P. comes down the aisle slapping hands with the fans. One fan asks for an autograph. M.O.P. stops to sign it, but Mad Man attacks him at ringside! Mad Man hammers M.O.P. from the rear, then spins him around for a short arm clothesline!
Hoss -
Whatever happened to matches starting in the ring, dammit?!Mad Man whips M.O.P. in to the security rail, then charges, but M.O.P. back body drop’s him into the crowd, then dives into the ring to pose for the fans!
King -
Well, one of em’s in the ring, Gorilla!Mad Man climbs over the barricade and rolls in the ring. Spud Johnson calls for the bell. M.O.P. sends Mad Man into the ropes, Mad Man back, dropkick by M.O.P.! Mad Man falls into the ropes, but pops right back up. Lockup, Mad Man with a side headlock. M.O.P. fakes sending him into the ropes, then picks him up and brings him back down with an atomic drop! He then clothesline’s him over the top rope!
Hoss -
M.O.P. dominating the early part of this match, Jess!King -
Don’t count Mad Man out, though! Who knows what this maniac will do!Mad Man grabs M.O.P.’s legs and pulls him out of the ring. There, Mad Man punches his opponent, then slams him on the floor!
King -
See?Mad Man picks M.O.P. up and tries for a piledriver, but M.O.P. back body drop’s him to escape! Mad Man back up, holding his back, as M.O.P. grabs him and tosses him back in the ring. M.O.P. goes up top for a flying clothesline, but Mad Man ducks! M.O.P. lands on his feet, but turns and is met with The Way of Madness! Cover!
1!
2!
3!
Muffer -
Here is your winner, Mad Man!Hoss -
Mad Man just defeated the second-longest reigning Inter-Forum Champion in history, Jess!King -
How the mighty have fallen, Gorilla.Hoss -
I wouldn’t go THAT far, Jess.King -
I would.Hoss -
….Let’s move on, shall we?The Man in Black V. AmigoGorilla Tim Hoss: Our next match up is weird, King.Jesse King: Tell me about it, TH. Amigo and the Man in Black, fellow Human Hate Machines, must square off against each other.Gorilla Tim Hoss: Will they throw down tonight, or do they have a trick up their sleeve?Michael Muffer: Our next match is scheduled for one fall...*Welcome to Hell - Venom*
Amigo walks out, a blank look over his face.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Amigo doesn't seem phased by the nature of this match, King. Could this be a breakup?Jesse King: Don't be silly, Gorilla. Amigo is always a man with a plan. He's vicious, cruel, dishonorable - he could establish his dominance tonight by being the first man to defeat the Man in Black.Michael Muffer: Now entering the ring, weighing 210lbs, he is the leader of the Human Hate Machines... Amigo!Amigo walks into the ring and walks to his corner.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Well now we'll see what our Interforum Champion, the Man in Black, is going to do...The lights turn off.
Jesse King: Here we go.A sudden burst of pyro and smoke goes off in the ring. The Man in Black stands in the center of the ring, facing an unphased Amigo.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: I don't like the looks of things here, King.Jesse King: Drakin bought the ticket and now he has to take the ride with this match.*Rigorous Vengeance - Municipal Waste*
Gorilla Tim Hoss: What?Jesse King: It's BRB! Remember? He was going to join us at ringside tonight!BRB walks down the ring, wincing at his entrance music. The fans cheer as Amigo and the Man in Black both look at him from the ropes.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: I remember now. BRB wants to watch this match to get to know the Man in Black.Jesse King: It's telling when a man with amnesia isn't far behind the rest of the WWCF Galaxy when it comes to the Man in Black.BRB makes his way around the ring, nervously holding his hands out as Amigo and the Man in Black continue to watch him approach the announce table.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Welcome to the announce booth, Brawler!BRB puts on a headset.
BRB: Glad I could be here.
Jesse King: You've really fallen off the radar, you know that?BRB: I understand that, Mister King, but I'm training with Jazzman all this month, I'm watching Amigo for his ruthlessness, and I want to know more about the Man in Black who caused my troubles.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Well let's watch the match then.BRB: I will, Gorilla.
Referee Will Alphonzo starts the match. Amigo and the Man in Black look at each other.
BRB: What's going on? Why aren't they fighting?
Jesse King: Because they're fellow members of the Human Hate Machines.Both men look at Referee Will Alphonzo, then back to each other. The Man in Black nods.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Uh oh...The Man in Black removes his Interforum Championship belt and holds it up.
BRB: This Man in Black seems rather mysterious.
Jesse King: This is small beans.The Man in Black swings the belt at Alphonzo's head, knocking him out.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: No!BRB: Why did he attack the ref?
Jesse King: Of course they're night fighting. They're cogs in the Human Hate Machine. They must run together or else it falls apart.Gorilla Tim Hoss: This is despicable!The timekeeper rings the bell.
You put two hate filled bastards and what exactly do you expect?
Oh we'll hate each other destroy each other despite having a mutual contempt for just everybody.NO you idiots. We'll hate everyone even harder and end the pointlessness. No point in fighting each other and wasting time and energy. I hate the Brawler and WWCF so who else to help me?Well, Black, of course when you have idiots like Seth Drkain booking this palce, it's natural for stupid s*** like this match happening or a hack like Tyfo becoming champ happens.
Anyways, Smokin' listen up! I am tried of you hiding like a girl from me time and time again. Before this broadcast is over, you best give me a response, or I demand you vacate the belt for being a pussy. Starshine V. Caleb FourchonMichael Muffer -
The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and has a 20 minute time limit.*Supermassive Black Hole plays on the PA*
Michael Muffer -
Introducing first from Star City, Australia and weighing in at an alleged 200 and something lbs. This is the Technical Professional, Ryan Starshine.*Starshine hits the stage to a overly positive response. He makes his way toward the ring.*
Tim Hoss -
Close to six months ago, Ryan Starshine took a sabbatical from the WWCF. Tonight marks his in ring return.Jesse King -
But it won't be a walk in the park Gorilla, he's not got just any opponent tonight. Tonight, he's got to deal with a former professional alligator wrestler. Alligators, Gorilla!*Starshine enters the ring and poses on a turnbuckle.*
*Circus Envy plays on the PA and Caleb Fourchon wildly stumbles out on the stage. He stops and stares down Starshine, tilting his head in almost an wild animal-esque way.*
Tim Hoss -
Caleb Fourchon might have the size advantage, he might have the weight advantage, of that I'm not entirely sure. But he's not in the ring with any ring rookie, he'll be in the ring with a two time WWCF Tag Team Champion, that's nothing to sneeze at.Jesse King -
I hope not. I wouldn't make any loud noises, or sudden movements around Caleb. He's got sharp teeth Gorilla.*Caleb circles around the ring, staring down his opponent and nearby crowd alike. Starshine leans in his turnbuckle corner, keeping a constant eye on Caleb. Caleb eventually stops pacing and slides into the ring, he backs into his corner and squats down, all the while glaring at Starshine.*
*Referee Lloyd McFloyd motions for the bell.*
Starshine leaps from his corner and takes a fighting stance. Caleb doesn't move from his squat. Starshine relaxes his stance and looks perplexedly at McFloyd who only shrugs. Starshine looks back at Caleb at a loss.
Ryan Starshine -
Hey Lloyd, check him out.Lloyd McFloyd -
What?! Yer kiddin' me boy. I ain't gettin' not two feet near him.Ryan Starshine -
It's your job Lloyd!Lloyd McFloyd -
T'is not me job, sonny. You're the one who's supposed tah rassle 'im. Now get to it, put 'im in yer headlock ur somethin.'Ryan Starshine -
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB!Jesse King -
Starshine, McFloyd! McFloyd, Starshine! Is anyone going to do the job?Tim Hoss -
...Who's in this match again.Starshine and McFloyd continue their screaming match until...
Ryan Starshine -
Okay, okay. My bad. We're going to wrestle now. We're gonna have a great match now. Okay... here I go... nnnnow.Starshine slowly approaches Caleb, lightly taps him on the shoulder then quickly jumps back and hides behind Lloyd McFloyd, who roughly shoves him back toward Caleb. Starshine crouches low and waves his hand in front of Caleb's face, not even receiving a twitch. He straightens up, adjusts his tights and looks toward the crowd and makes an arm motion.
Ryan Starshine -
SIDE HEADLOCK!Crowd -
WOOOOOO!He very slowly begins to apply his standing headlock onto Caleb. He finally has it lightly applied, gives a cheesy grin and says;
Ryan Starshine -
YEAH! THIS IS WHAT I-Caleb potatoes Starshine with a quick and sudden right to the face. Starshine crumbles to the mat, clutches his face and stumbles across the ring and to his feet.
Tim Hoss -
CHRIST! That looked like it hurt.Jesse King -
He's definitely going to feel that tomorrow.Caleb doesn't give Starshine a moment and tackles him down. He wails on him with stiff forearms then seamlessly transitions into a modified abdominal stretch, wrenching hard. Starshine quickly places his closet foot onto the bottom rope. Lloyd McFloyd applies the count, but Caleb refuses to break. McFloyd tries to physically break the hold and Caleb releases. He climbs to his feet and advances toward McFloyd who quickly exits the ring. Caleb turns his attention back to Starshine and brings him to his feet. Caleb whips Starshine into the ropes for a big boot. Starshine stops the momentum, and Caleb's boot hits air. Starshine rushes Caleb but is floored by a second boot. Caleb grabs a handful of hair and brings Starshine back to his feet, her picks him up across his chest. He walks around the ring, wearing a snaggle-toothed grin before tossing Starshine across the ring by way of a big fallaway slam.
Jesse King -
The Technical Professional is getting manhandled Gorilla. Do you think this is how Caleb would wrestle alligators back in Louisiana?Tim Hoss -
I'm not sure he'd be so precise in his attacks King. But nonetheless, this can't be the way Starshine wanted to return to the WWCF.Starshine painfully rolls outside to the floor and favours his back and face. Caleb nonchalantly follows suit. Starshine rolls back in the ring and measures up Caleb. As Caleb does his slide inside, Starshine stomps him square on the back of his head. He brings him to his feet and preps him for the Starblind.
Jesse King -
NOBODY KICKS OUT OF THE STARBL-Caleb roughly pushes free.
Jesse Kings-
Never mind.Starshine delivers a quick super kick, but Caleb manages to stay on his feet. Starshine rushes to the turnbuckle and climbs to the top. He launches off but is intercepted as Caleb regains his senses. Caleb easily tosses him onto his shoulder for the running powerslam. He casually circles the ring, and laughs. He stops, back to the nearby corner and begins running forward. Starshine wriggles free and backs into the corner. Caleb turns around and rushes back low. Starshine lifts his legs and Caleb crashes into the ring post. Starshine quickly floats over into a school boy and jackknifes the pin.
1...
2...
3
*Caleb kicks out barely a second after the count*
Michael Muffer -
The winner of this match, Ryan Starshine.*Caleb looks furiously at Lloyd McFloyd and begins chasing him out of the ring and all the way to the back. Starshine, looking worse for wear, climbs to his feet and motions for a mic.*
Ryan Starshine - *Breathing heavily*
You know... I have to admit. I'm hurting. Oh, man... Uh, I know I had some amazing, really inspirational speech planned for you guys. Unfortunately I ran into Caleb's boot and... you know. *more heavy breathing*
Well you know what they say, no pain, no pay, or something like that. I guess I really just want to say... thank you.*The crowd cheers and applauds*
Starshine, still favouring his head, exits the ring and makes his way to the back, slapping hands of some nearby fans.
The New Blackjacks theme hits as Little Naitch makes his way down the ailse and is extremely bruised up.
GTH: I can't believe Naitch is even able to walk after the brutal match against Viva last week at Botch at the Beach.
JK: I hear ya Gorilla but we both know how tough Naitch is but I wonder what he's even doing out here.
GTH: I was wondering that myself Jess and it looks like Naitch has a microphone so lets hear what he has to say.
LN: As you all know that ever since I lost the World Title last year to Seth Drakin that I haven't been able to reclaim it and my record in big matches isn't that great. A couple weeks ago I did beat Jazzman in a Rules of Honor match but outside of that I have not had any success. I couldn't even beat Viva last week as a mystery opponent and with his ring rust. I am really starting to think that maybe I have nothing left in this tank.
(Fans boos)
LN: I don't like it either but I really believe it could be time to hang it up for good.
(All of a sudden old familiar music plays as out from the curtain walks TheSam to a tremendous ovation from the crowd!)
GTH: THESAM? What's he doing out here?
JK: The only thing I can think of is that he is here to wish Naitch good luck in his future endeavours.
(TheSam steps through the ropes as Naitch has a puzzled look on his face but embraces TheSam who has a mic of his own.)
LN: What are you doing out here?
TS: No you see, this isn't about what I am doing out here, the real question is what the hell are you doing out here? Contemplating retirement? Well that's the dumbest thing I've heard since Seth Drakin's last promo.
I know you've had a few losses over the past year but listen. Every cloud has a silver lining. And it's always darkest before dawn. So don't start digging your own grave before you even begin pushing up the daisies.
LN: I hear what you're saying man but I have done just about everything I can do here and I reached the top of the mountain last year and now I can't get back there no matter what I do.
TS: I understand. But you know why you can't reach the top of the mountain anymore? It's because you are the damn mountain.
I know you and I never saw eye to eye on a lot of things in the past. But one thing I always knew was true and the one thing WWCF knows is true is that YOU are the best wrestler this company has ever had. I knew it the first time I saw you and you proved it everytime you stepped foot into that ring.
Now you may not have won a lot of your matches. But how many matches do you think Mick Foley won? How many matches did Terry Funk win? Ric Flair has lost the world title more times than anyone else.
This business isn't a sprint. It's a marathon. Those who last will always be remembered. So you see Naitch, you don't need a gold watch right now. What you need is a boot up your ass! (The Sam slaps Naitch) TIME TO WAKE UP NAITCH! GET BACK ON THE HORSE AND PROVE TO ME WHY I WASTED SO MUCH TIME AND ENERGY INTO YOU! PROVE TO THE WORLD THAT YOU ARE THE BEST DAMN WRESTLER EVER!!!
GTH: Did he really just slap Little Naitch?
JK: I believe he did and you know what Gorilla, everything that TheSam just said, is the truth and the fans know it too.
GTH: You are so right Jess but Naitch has some crazed look in his eyes all of sudden.
LN: You know what Sam, you are DAMN RIGHT! I want you to once again be my manager and help me reclaim what was once stolen from which was the World Heavyweight Title! Actually, that can wait as I want you to guide me to become the Inter-Forum Champion. I want to be the first former World Heavyweight Champion to win that championship belt. I want to be the first man in this company to have held every single major championship that this company has. Can you and will you help me? (Extends hand)
GTH: What is The Sam's decision?
JK: Will The Sam back up everything he said?
The Sam: You know what Naitch. YOU GOT IT!!!
(The Sam grabs Naitch's hand)
Dream Warrior V. Evil M*Man on the Silver Mountain*
Evil M walks out, carrying a mic in one hand, a miniature French flag in the other.
Bonjour!*cheap heat*
As you can see, I come to you tonight, STILL Champion of Honor! Sparks, it seems no matter how hard you try, you just can’t beat when it matters. And now, I’m done with you. I’m moving on to bigger things. Like next week. Lethal Lottery. How great would it be if I were the first man to hold both the Championship of Honor and the World Championship at the same time? Well, you’ll all see how great it will be when I win Battle Bowl and go on to become Champion at GookerMania! And of course, I’ll do it for my main three!
For Honor!
For Yellow Jacket!
For Fr-Hoss -
Will you look at that?!Dream Warrior suddenly lowers from the rafters! As he comes to the ring, he unhooks himself and dives onto M! The bell rings! M catches Warrior and hit’s a fall away slam! Elbow drop! Cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
M pulls Dream Warrior up and locks on a hammerlock!
King -
Dream Warrior tried to cheap shot M, but nothing get’s by the Champion of Honor!M shoves Warrior around, keeping the hold locked in at all times. After a slap to the head, M releases the hold, but Dream Warrior nails him with a dropkick! M staggers back and Dream Warrior charges, only to be met with a lariat!
Hoss -
Dream Warrior has the heart, but M is too damn big! M picks Dream Warrior up, but Dream Warrior catches him with a hurricanrana! Legs hooked!
1!
2!
Kickout!
M to his feet, Dream Warrior tries another dropkick, but M steps back. Warrior hit’s the mat, then M picks him up. Suplex, Crowbar locked in! Dream Warrior taps!
Muffer -
Here is your winner, Evil M!M refuses to release the hold!
Hoss -
The match is over! Will somebody get him out of there!M keeps the hold on, until Sparks runs out! M quickly bails, as Sparks checks on Dream Warrior.
King -
Why is Sparks out there?! M said he was through with him, so he has no business being out there now!Hoss -
Sparks did the right thing, coming out to help Dream Warrior, Jess. Unlike Evil M, Sparks is a real role model for kids to look up to!King -
Nonsense, Gorilla! Pure nonsense!Hoss -
Let’s just get to the next match.Colt and Jazzman V. Square and The HangmanMuffer -
The following tag team contest is set for one fall, with a ten minute time limit."You know that time in your life,
that single moment that defines exactly who you are?
Well that only stings for a second..."*Hurricane Season - Trombone Shorty*
Muffer -
Introducing first, at a combined weight of 483 pounds, Colt and Jazzman, Pride and Story!*I Don’t Care*
Muffer -
And their opponents, weighing in at a combined 510 pounds, they are the new WWCF World Tag Team Champions, Square and The Hangman!John Creed calls for the bell.
Square and Jazzman lock up in the middle of the ring. Square goes for a rear waistlock, but Jazzman reverses it and belly to back suplexes the Revolution of Evolution! He bridges up for a cover!
1!
Kickout!
Jazzman charges Square, who ducks under and surprises Jazzman with a dropkick as he comes back the other way! Jazzman back to his feet, Square hit’s a flying tackle! Tag to Hangman! Hangman hammers Jazzman with clubbing fists to the back, then scoops him up and slams him to the mat! Cover!
1!
Kickout!
Hangman pulls Jazzman up and goes for a powerslam, but Jazz wriggles out and rolls Hangman up!
1!
Kickout!
Jazzman dives to the corner and tag’s Colt! Colt in a house of fire, hammering both Hangman and Square with lefts and rights. He nails Hangman with a Million dollar kneelift, then a swinging neckbreaker! He quickly goes up top and hit’s a flying clothesline, but as he sets up for the Story on Page One, Square nails him with one of the tag team title belts! Creed calls for the bell!
Muffer -
Here are your winners by disqualification, Pride and Story!Jazzman chases Square from the ring as Hangman rolls to the outside. Jazzman helps Colt to his feet as the Champs head up the ramp.
Nakatomi Plaza
Sara Nakatomi is in the ring.
Without further ado, let me introduce my guest tonight, none other than my boyfriend, Jonathan Michaels!Foo Fighters - DOA
Jonathan walks to the ring and slides in, he grabs the mic from Sara and kisses her on the cheek.
Thanks, babe.
Tonight, I want to let you all know that I am going to attempt somethign that has never been done before.
I am going for the Grand Slam.
I have already been Hardcore Champion, and Champion Of Honor, so that leaves three more titles.
I am first declaring my intentions to enter the Inter-Forum Rankings, and I hope to work my way up to the Number one spot as soon as I can.
Now, as you all know, BattleBowl is coming up, which means it's time for Lethal Lottery, wherein we are assigned tag team partners at random, so I've decided that whoever the Lethal Lottery decides to pair me with will become my new tag team partner, and together we will claim tag team gold.
Now as for the World Title, let me first congratulate D.R. Jackson on a hard fought victory at Botch at the Beach, at least for one night, you were the better man.
But believe me when I say, whether it's by winning Battlebowl, cashing in a briefcase, or just kicking some ass, I promise you all that I WILL be World Champion within the next year.
And in doing so, I intend to become the first Grand Slam Champion, and as the confetti rains down on my celebration at the end of the show, the whole World Wrestlecrap Federation will see just how good I really am before the image fades to black.
And, Cut.Whitey Fats V. The Boiler Room BrawlerGorilla Tim Hoss: Boiler Room Brawler defends his Inter-forum Title shot against Whitey Fats next.Jesse King: This'll be a curb stomp. BRB, like Colt, has never gotten the better of Whitey Fats and tonight's not going to change that.*Old Style Southern Music*
Whitey Fats enters the ring with BRB next to him.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Entering together?Jesse King: Well BRB does work for Whitey. I find it kinda funny.Gorilla Tim Hoss: I'd hate to be Whitey when BRB comes to his senses.Michael Muffer: Now entering the ring, uh... at a combined weight of 630lbs, hailing from Starke, FL... Whitey Fats! And hailing from Rockford, IL... Boiler Room Brawler!Jesse King: Threw off Muffer there.Gorilla Tim Hoss: Eh...Whitey and BRB walk up the steps and cross the ropes into the ring. Referee John Creed separates them to face each other.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: BRB's skills have yet to even blossom. Again. Whitey will easily defeat him.Jesse King: I think that he oughtta give up the title shot if you ask me.Referee John Creed starts the match. Whitey looks both ways and then grabs a microphone.
Whitey Fats: BRB... You were an embarrassment at Botch at the Beach; incapable of executing a simple power slam. You almost tapped to an arm bar. An arm bar!
As your boss, as the Wrestling Messiah, I am willing to pay you a bonus if you simply concede this match.
Whitey points the microphone to BRB.
BRB: Well, Whitey, I'd hate to admit it but you're right. I was out of my league at Botch at the Beach, only barely managing to eke out a draw for the both of us.
Jesse King: Did you have to remind us?BRB: What kind of bonus are we talking here?
Whitey pulls a check out of his suit jacket and shows it to BRB, whose eyes widen.
BRB: Wow! You know what, Whitey? You got yourself a deal.
Whitey Fats: Then lay down, Brawler.Gorilla Tim Hoss: Whitey bought off BRB's Interforum title shot!Jesse King: Oh, BRB. If he ever remembers this and learns what happened to him since, I might have to resign within a week for my health.BRB lays down on the mat, to which Whitey grins and plants his foot on BRB's chest. Referee John Creed shakes his head but drops down and counts one, two, three!
*Old Style Southern Music*
Michael Muffer: Here is your winner, Whitey Fats!Gorilla Tim Hoss: This was a farce, King.Jesse King: But BRB is in no shape to wrestle Whitey nor the Man in Black. He still has his Hardcore Title shot...Whitey helps BRB stand up and he raises BRB's arm and points at him in congratulations.
Gorilla Tim Hoss: Whitey has cheated his way to the Interforum title scene. He had to use his lottery winnings instead of his own wrestling skill!Jesse King: As I once learned when I was tearing up the South Alabama scene, "work smart, not hard," and Whitey Fats clearly took that to heart too.Gorilla Tim Hoss: That's not what I learned up in New England. You earn your title shots by being the best, the toughest son of a bitch in the squared circle. Not the richest.Jesse King: Either way, Whitey Fats pinned the Boiler Room Brawler right in that ring in the Parts Unknown Arena tonight.Gorilla Tim Hoss: Well let's hope that Whitey Fats can deliver and dethrone the Man in Black.Jesse King: We can only wait, Gorilla, but let's go to a commercial.*”Master of Puppets” plays as the CEO of WWCF, Seth Drakin comes out holding the 2009 Battle Bowl trophy. Jessica follows him with an envelope and she is followed by Mr. E & U.N. Owen. Seth and Jessica enter the ring as Mr. E & U.N. Owen wait outside and watch the entry ramp. Seth puts the trophy down and grabs a mic.*
Seth: Well, Battle Bowl is just a few weeks away and as all of you know….to enter the Battle Bowl match, you will have to team up with a partner chosen at random. It could be a buddy, but most likely…..it is going to be a person who you are not the best of friends with. Now while you will be fighting the urge to deck your partner, you better not because you need to win this match. Now as you can see from the trophy, I was the initial Battle Bowl winner and in Lethal Lottery, I had to team with a guy who was best friends with one of my opponents. But it was worth it because at Battle Bowl, it was a situation where every man was for himself and it was over the top elimination. I was able to eliminate my Lethal Lottery partner last and win the first ever WWCF Battle Bowl and I received a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship.
Now almost everything is the same from the last one except we moved this event up a few months. Why, you ask? Because the winner of this year’s Battle Bowl will not only get the World Title shot, but he will also be headlining WWCF’s mega show, GookerMania 3. *The crowd cheers at this announcement as Seth smiles.*
Seth: Oh yeah, and you will also be getting a trophy like this to adorn your trophy room with.
But let’s not hallow anymore and let’s find out the Lethal Lottery pairings. *Jessica hands Seth the envelope and the CEO opens it.*
Seth: Now we did all of these random pairings backstage and nobody except the four of us knows who is teaming with whom and who their opponents are. So let’s see who they are.*Seth takes the folded paper out of the envelope and unfolds it. Seth is about to read it, but stops.*
Seth: How very selfish of me to not let our lovely commissioner just stand there as if she was not important? If you don’t mind Jessica, I will allow you to do the honors of announcing the names. *Seth hands her the paper.*
Jessica: How very thoughtful of you. Here we go.*Jessica grabs her glasses and starts to read.*
Jessica: Our first Lethal Lottery pairing has the Champion of Honor Evil M teaming with the man who knows how to monkey around in the General of the Monkey Army. Their opponents will be two men who fought each other at Botch at the Beach because the man who has a shot to be #1 contender for the Inter-Forums Title, Boiler Room Brawler teams up with the man who Seth beat in the Lethal Lottery and a former World Heavyweight Champion in Colt.
Our second Lethal Lottery match the first World Heavyweight Champion and resident nutcase Amigo team up with a person who he knows extremely well…….in Sparks. Their opponents will be the returning superstar Whitey Fats and boy, has he got to be extremely happy because his partner is the former World Heavyweight Champion Jay Carroll.
Our third match will see one half of the former tag team champions, The Headbanger Man team up with former Inter-Forums Champion M.O.P. Their opponents are a newcomer to this business and a man who has been a bit impressive in Caleb Fourchon and his partner, the former Champion of Honor and a man who took our current #1 contender for the World Title DR Jackson to the limit, Jonathan Michaels.
Our fourth match will be an extremely interesting one as we will have the probably one night only reformation of former tag team champions because the man with so many nicknames I can’t keep up and one half of our current tag team champions, Square will be teaming up with the returning superstar…………Ryan Starshine. Their opponents will be newcomer “Mad Man” Mulligan and his partner…..the man who is still the Hardcore Champion The Smokin’ Vokoun.
Our fifth match will have a man who tends to get on people’s nerves in Kris Kobain and his tag team partner is the other half of the former tag team champions, D-Day Dave. Their opponents are a pairing who are not even close to being slouches themselves in the other half of our current tag team champions The Hangman and his partner, the former Champion of Honor and former World Heavyweight Champion, Jazzman.
Our sixth and final match-up will have former World Heavyweight Champion and former multiple time tag team championship partner of our current World Champion Tyfo in Little Naitch. His partner is the man who tonight will be facing Evil M tonight in a Rules of Honor Match, Dream Warrior. Their…..*”Paparazzi Metal Remix” plays and the former world heavyweight champion “Hollywood” Viva Los Bio Dome comes out to a chorus of boos. He also has surprisingly both the CEO and Commissioner not surprised at all for his interruption. Viva comes to a stare down with both Mr. E & U.N. Owen. Seth signals to Jessica, who then look at the two bodyguards and speaks again.*
Jessica: It’s okay boys, Viva was promised a meeting with us and I guess our revelation of the final match can wait.*Mr. E & U.N. Owen stand aside as Viva smiles at the two before entering the ring. The former champion has a microphone with him as well.*
Jessica: It seems you have made perfect timing because……..Viva: Shhh sweetie. Men are talking here. *Viva looks right at Seth now*
Viva: I am out here because you promised me a meeting and god damn it, you are going to give it to me right now!!!!
You see, at Botch at the Beach…..I didn’t have to show up and play your game, but I did. I did this because I have a few things to say to you. First off, did you see how I beat Little Naitch?Seth: Yes I…..Viva: I could have used a steel chair on him, but I didn’t. I played by the rules. I beat him with my own finisher and pinned him 1-2-3, fair and square. When doing that, I thought of something. What better way than to insult a man I despise by taking something a bit of his pride away? You see, I have plans and those plans include you having to recognize me as the Champion of Honor. *Seth tries to raise the mic again, but is interrupted again.*
Viva: I know what you are about to say. You are about to tell me that I haven’t earned that right. Well, I say I have earned the right to be in the discussion. You see, back in March…..I signed up pretty early for your Tournament of Honor and I had plans on taking both the World Title and the Championship of Honor and having them around my waist. I did exactly as I planned with the World Title and won it, all the while retiring Aaron Enigma. However, my jubilation was just a bit taken away when I found out that you and your bimbo over there took me out of the tournament and replaced me with TTS. You replaced the King of the Ring and the World Champion with a loser like TTS. I believe that to be a little insulting.
So after showing Little Naitch once again why I am the better man, I went to the WWCF board and took my case to them. And guess what? They agreed with me. They agreed that you and the human equivalent of your ass screwed me out of the Tournament and you two will not be able to screw me now.*Seth gets a bit upset by this and starts walking towards Viva.*
Viva: Hold it there, boss. You might want to think before you decide to hit me. You see, it wouldn’t look good for the CEO of a company to start taking shots on one of his own employees and since we are not in a match, there would be no way you could explain your actions to the board.
Now secondly, after beating Little Naitch who just so happens to be in this Lethal Lottery. I think it would really say how terrible of a management type figure you are if that man was excluded from that match. And like you said, there is only one team left and I know that you are not as stupid enough to let the man to beat one of your contenders sit out of this. So I don’t think we should keep the wool over the eyes of these sheep any longer and say that I am on the final team. All you now have to do is tell me who my partner is……and to be quite honest, it won’t matter because my opponents are a bunch of losers. I have beaten Little Naitch in every sort of fight to the point where he has had to admit that I was the better man. And his partner Dream Warrior……Ha!!!! The only Dream Warrior that matters to me is that song from Dokken.
Now you can speak….*Seth looks at Jessica and smiles as he finally raises the mic and is able to speak.*
Seth: You got me, Viva. You are correct in knowing that despite what I said, I couldn’t allow one of the top stars in this company to sit on the sidelines during this big event. You have the final spot at Lethal Lottery and you will be LN & Dream Warrior’s opponent. Viva: Stop telling me crap I already know and just tell me who my partner is. Seth: Well, if you had let Jessica finish and if you had let me finish just now. I would reveal to you that…………………
You Have No Partner!!!!!!*Viva’s eyes widen as he hears this.*
Seth: That’s right. It will be just you on your own at Lethal Lottery against both Little Naitch and Dream Warrior. *Viva gets pissed and starts complaining about how unfair that is.*
Seth: Unfair, you say? Oh I think it is perfectly fair considering how great you consider yourself. With what your mouth has said, it shouldn’t be an issue for you to beat Little Naitch and Dream Warrior.
I think this meeting is over.*Seth & Jessica leave the ring and are followed by their security guards while Viva looks unpleased with what just transpired.*
Main Event: Tyfo and Jay Carroll V. “Damn Right“ Jackson and a partnerToo black…
Too strong…
DAMN RIGHT!*I Made It*
Muffer -
Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall, with a thirty minute time limit. Introducing first, “Damn Right” Jackson!Hoss -
I wonder who he got for a partner?King -
He probably couldn’t find one. Who would team with him anyway?Muffer -
And his partner…*DOA*
Hoss -
Whoa!King -
…Oh c’mon!Muffer -
Accompanied by Sara Nakatomi, Jonathan Michaels!Hoss -
We saw the show of respect by these two last week after that amazing match at Botch at the Beach, but who would’ve thought they’d be teaming up here tonight?!King -
I thought Michaels had principles, Gorilla. Guess I thought wrong.*Well Thought Out Twinkles*
Muffer -
And their opponents, first, he is the former WWCF World Champion, Jay Carroll!*New Blackjacks Theme*
The crowd roars.
And his partner, the NEW WWCF World Champion, ladies and gentlemen…
TYFO!!!King -
I hope they can get along here tonight, Gorilla. I’d hate to see a guy like Jackson beat them.Hoss -
Well, there’s the bell and it looks like Jackson and Carroll are starting this one!King -
They lock up, Jackson’s got a headlock on him, Gorilla!Hoss -
But Jay get’s out of it and now he has a hammerlock on Jackson!King -
Come on Jay, take him down!Hoss -
Well, Jay has that hammerlock cinched in, but will Jackson’s size advantage work in his favor? Yes it does! Jackson takes Jay down by the leg!King -
Jay’s back up though!Hoss -
But maybe not for long! Jackson goes for the clothesline, NO! Jay ducks underneath, high knee lift! Jackson is staggered, but still standing!King -
Come on Jay! Get ‘im!Jay walks over and tag’s Tyfo, while Jackson tag’s Michaels.
King -
Well, now we get a taste of what COULD have been the Battle Bowl main event, Gorilla!Hoss -
Indeed, we were very close to a Michaels/Tyfo main event, Jess! But it just as easily could’ve been Jackson/Carroll or Carroll/Michaels headlining the show. This match has so many what ifs attached to it!Michaels and Tyfo tie up, then Michaels breaks the grapple and holds up a hand.
Hoss -
Michaels wants a test of strength here, Jess!King -
This is interesting Gorilla! It could go either way, because neither are big guys but both have pulled off some impressive feats of strength in the past.The two clasp hands and force each other back and forth, until Michaels kick’s Tyfo in the midsection, then snaps him over with a suplex!
Hoss -
Looks like Michaels learned a thing or two from being in the ring with Jackson last week.King -
And don’t forget who Michaels’ mentor is, Gorilla. Just cause he acts like a goody good doesn’t mean he doesn’t know all the tricks of the trade!Michaels slaps a headlock on the World Champ, who fights to his knees, then elbows his way out. Jono tries a second headlock, but Tyfo blocks him, then shoots him into the corner. Running splash! Jono slumps down in the corner, and Tyfo hit’s a running knee!
Hoss -
The Champ in control now, Jess!Tyfo pulls Jono up and tag’s Jay. Jay and Tyfo double suplex Michaels, then Jay drops a knee on him! Cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Jay turns Michaels over and goes to lock in the Hangover, but Michaels get’s to his knees and takes Jay over, then bridges up into a cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
King -
Michaels counters the Hangover, but only get’s a two-count out of it!Both men get to their feet, then go over and tag their partners.
Hoss -
Here we go, Jess! This is what we’ve been waiting for! Tyfo and Jackson about to lock up early!The two tie up center ring and tussle back and forth, neither gaining the advantage. Tyfo breaks the hold, hit’s the ropes, and slams into Jackson, who doesn’t move. Jackson tries to move Tyfo, but the Champ stands his ground! Another lockup, with neither man getting anywhere. Tyfo breaks this time and backs up to his corner, as does Jackson.
King -
Neither man able to make anything happen there, Gorilla!Jay Carroll tags in, while Jackson opts to stay in. The former Champion and the number one contender tie up. Jackson throws Jay to the mat, but Jay is right back to his feet! He charges, but Jackson meets him with a big boot! He picks Jay up for the High Attitude, but Tyfo runs in! Michaels cuts Tyfo off with a spear as Jackson hit’s the High Attitude! Cover!
1!
2!
3!
Muffer -
Here are your winners, “Damn Right” Jackson and Jonathan Michaels!Hoss -
First point goes to Jackson, Jess. Big win for the number one contender here!King -
Maybe so, but Battle Bowl is still a ways off, Gorilla!Sinnerman plays to the crowd to a HUGE pop. Smokin Vokoun walks to
the ring looking pretty sullen. He is wearing his Hardcore belt over his shoulder.He doesn't even look at the crowd. He enters the ring and leans on the ropes with the mic. He waits for the crowd to stop.
Smokin Vokoun: You know.....I come out here, yell and scream about how I'm gonna kill every single Superstar in the WWCF. But at Botch at the Beach....that didn't quite happen. I let someone live. I let someone, who fried my best friend and turned him into spineless piece of jelly. I LET SOMEONE BEAT ME IN THE CHEAPEST WAY POSSIBLE.....YOU MAN IN BLACK YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!*Vokoun starts to tear up*
BECAUSE OF YOU MAN IN BLACK, I COULDN'T GIVE THE PROPER REVENGE TO WHAT YOU DID TO BOILER ROOM BRAWLER...YOU S0N OF A BITCH!!!! And now I don't know if I can live with myself. I always prided myself with being the toughest wrestler in this damn company. But Man in Black you gave me a run for my money...AND I GAVE YOU A RUN TOO!!! However Man in Black, if you ever get in my way..... (Just then Amigo shows up at the entrance)
Amigo: OH SHUT. UP!!Amigo walks towards the ring. The heat from the crowd is MASSIVE. He gets to the ring. He is now face to face with Smokin Vokoun.
Amigo.You know, I'm sick and tired of listening to you scream your head off about losing a match...you lost....deal with it! And to see a man like you..."cry" over a loser like Boiler Room Brawler? That's just pathetic man. You know, I've been watching you closely ever since you crawled your way out of a damn hole and entered the WWCF. And I must say that...I'm impressed....But not impressed enough!!Vokoun: Is that so huh? Amigo: Yeah, because I've seen you beat alot of guys here. You've beaten most of my guys.....but you've never beaten me. In fact Smokie, I've always wanted to fight you....but you've never seen to be willing to. Why? *Vokoun just starts to laugh*
Vokoun: Oh yeah.....WHY IS THAT?!!!!! Because I'm DYING to know.Amigo: Because your not Hardcore enough to beat me!! You like to pass yourself as being a psychopathic monster. But all I see in front of me is just an overgrown child. You come out here and cry about not being able to defend the "honor" of the Boiler Room Retard. I see a man..that doesn't deserve to hold that belt that your holding. I see someone whose....vulnerable. And if your the Hardcore Champion and your vulnerable....then you don't a chance against a REAL WWCF legend. Hell, you might as well give that belt up and give it me...because beating you would be the easiest thing I've ever done in my entire career.*Vokoun tries to hold back his anger, but he is shaking. He walks away for a moment. He then looks at Amigo and starts to giggle.*
Vokoun: You really think I'm vulnerable? You think I don't deserve to hold this belt? YOU DON'T THINK I CAN BEAT THE GREAT AMIGO??? Well....*Vokoun completely snaps, grabs Amigo and applies the MANDIBLE CLAW. Amigo is fighting it, but can't break the hold. All of a sudden, from the crowd, The Man in Black shows up and hits Vokoun with a barbwire baseball bat. Vokoun goes down in pain as Man in Black helps up Amigo. Amigo stands back and watches The Man in Black pummel Smokin Vokoun with the bat. Amigo orders MIB to leave the ring. Amigo slumps in the corner and waits for Vokoun to sit up. When he does, Amigo runs hits the Bom-Ba Ye, right in Smokie's face. Amigo sets up Vokoun again and hits a second Bom Ba Ye. Amigo starts laughing and gets showered with boos from the crowd. Vokoun tries to sit up, but Amigo then hits a third Bom Ba Ye in Vokoun's face. Smokin Vokoun is now laying, face first in his own blood. Amigo sees the WWCF Hardcore belt laying in the ring and picks it up.
Amigo: Awww....look at little Smokie Vokoun....the "King" of Hardcore.....NOT!!!!!! What a nice belt you have.....I don't think your gonna need this anymore.*Amigo kicks Vokoun in the face one more time before EMT's reach the ring. The Man in Black puts the WWCF Hardcore Championship belt around Amigo's waist and walks away.*
Tim Hoss: I can't believe what I just saw King. Amigo, with the help from The Man in Black, just brutalized Smokin Vokoun. And to add insult to injury, he STEALS the Hardcore Championship belt. THAT'S NOT HIS BELT!!!!Jesse King: Maybe not, but after that attack, it might soon be Amigos.*Vokoun shoves the EMT's away and stands up on his own power to huge cheers. His face is covered in blood. He screams Amigo's name and starts running back to the dressing room as the show goes off the air*
Credits: DR Jackson, Mad Man, Evil M, BRB, Man in Black, Amigo, Starshine, Little Naitch, The Sam, Jonathan Michaels, Seth Drakin, Viva, and The Smokin’ Vokoun