We're just finishing up the script for the Roast, and figured what the heck...why not give you guys a chance to write some jokes for it? Post your jokes here, and if it's a good one and we use it, we'll add your name to the credits. Have fun!
"You know the other day someone asked me if I saw the latest wrestlecrap radio video. I told him...I CERTAINLY HOPE SO!"
"You know I picked up the Best of Wrestlecrap DVD...No disc inside though!"
So a blind guy takes his dog into a bar, and Mike Check is on the radio. Check plays a song everyone doesn't mind, and the dog runs a lap around the bar and jumps on the stool tired. Check talks about his days working for WTRP in Canada, and the dog runs TWO laps, jumps backwards on the stool, and is tired. The bartender says "Wow, your dog is a helluva Mike Check fan, what does he do when Check's actually entertaining?" The blind guy says "I don't know, I've only had him for thirty years!"
"Sure is nice to have all our listeners show up here for the taping...Even better to know all 4 of us could fit in the basement!"
-"And Mrs. Deal...WHOA MAMMA! I haven't seen a bust like that since the first overall pick of the 1990 NFL draft!" (Said by Angry Jim Ross who starts to get out of hand as the roast goes longer .)
-"I have to admit Blade and R.D., I'm not really gay...I clearly started the ruse to test out the psychological feelings of people who may or may not like those who have same sex partners. I apologize...FOR JUST LYING RIGHT THERE, AYUK AYUK AYUK AYUK!" (Said by Gay Popeye if he's there.)
-"Well R.D., you know...you're about as invigorating as a...MOUTHFUL of sawdust and water! (Mike Check.)
Post by Raging_Demons on May 28, 2010 16:47:22 GMT -5
"Gay Popeye & Angry Jim Ross one time worked together during the Wrestlecrap Draft. After the show Gay Popeye wanted to work for Angry Jim Ross because he keeps hearing how he beats his meat."
"When Deal heard the show 'Armed & Famous' starring Trish Stratus was in town for filming he wanted to meet her. Unfortunately you can't get arrested for making bad puns."
"So Stewart Patrick is the TNA Director of Marketing. Wait, there's a Director of Marketing?"
"I hear Stubby's popular with the ladies, he always gives them wood."
"RD's wife, Mrs. Deal, makes a killing in the Stock Market. Yeah. She killed the Stock Broker for giving her bad stock tips."
"The Midnight Rose is in the audience. When I heard for the first time that he refers to the women that he loves as 'pelicans', first thing I thought of was 'The Midnight Rose has sex with birds?' "
"Blade Braxton, Wrestlecrap's resident drunk is here tonight. His drink of choice is beer & V8. You know what I call that drink? Crap!"
"You can tell that Deal wanted to do 'Wrestlecrap Radio' ever since he was a little baby. In fact Deal's first ever words were...SPEAKING OF!"
"Blade loves Mickie James a lot that he coined the word 'Centaurlicious' which means Mickie James ass is SO BIG that it's like a horse. When Mickie James heard about Blade & if she likes him, she said 'Neigh' ". (like a horse's whinny).
"For TNA Correspondents Trolla has designed Johnny 6, MegaTrolla, & Johnny 4. Two more Trolla robots & they can form Voltron!"
"Deal is married & has a kid but he's so boring." (Crowd goes "How Boring Is He?!?") "Deal's SO Boring watching paint dry is a 'Hell In A Cell Match' for him."
"Blade, can you tell us about Scale Face one more time please?"
"Don Mason is in the audience tonight. I went to the supermarket with Don for some groceries & I got a bottle of Wesson Corn Oil, Don says 'I got a date tonight so no thanks.' "
"Mike Check is here. Mike do you mind if I put a pizza in the oven? By the time your finished on stage it would be done."
"The Straight-Edge S****er BM Punk is here. The only man I know that wants to be liquid from the waste down!"
"Nathaniel is like the famous YouTube 911 caller Victor Fuentes, Too Much Information MAN!"
"Vince Russo is a big fan of Wrestlecrap Radio because he's been on twice. When Russo was asked why he was on the show he said 'They are the only ones that are worse than me!' "
"Deal & Blade had an Internet War with Damien DeMento. In the end DeMento was punished by hosting the show. Oh! Sorry Triple Kelly."
"Deal & Blade lost a NBA bet with me on whether the Lakers will loose. So Guys...I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!"
"Peter Gazer isn't here tonight because he's in jail. He's arrested for impersonating Blade running around with no pants!"
"Deal loves to sing Cher songs & it goes nowhere. Ironically Cher likes to sing songs by RD Reynolds & Blade Braxton & it killed her career."
(Only pro wrestling characters, like BM Punk or Nintendo John) "I asked Deal one time if I should get into a wrestling feud with Jon Cena, Deal said feud over Cena's hat because all feud should involve a hat. I did...and lost 5 seconds later!"
"When David Lee Roth's radio show got canceled, Deal immediately got him as a guest TNA Correspondent. It goes to show you that even David Lee Roth needs a paycheck."