Post by yahweh on Jun 25, 2005 2:33:24 GMT -5
Ok guys, and RD, tell me what you think of this card, booked by your favorite booker Vince Russo. Its 2005 and Vince McMahon doesn't know what to do with PP V's anymore so he books Vince Russo for vengeance! I did something similar for WM21 and now its time for Vengeance 2005. THIS is how the WWE can bankrupt their entire empire and piss off their entire fan base in ONE NIGHT! ;D
Preshow:
We are shown Batista driving up to the arena in his limo when all of a sudden a big hummer drives up and crashes into Batista's limo with Batista still inside it. The hummer continues to drive into the limo until it is on top of the limo. A WWE referee comes out and counts the three count! WHAT HAS HAPPENED! HHH gets out of the hummer and the referee awards HHH the world title because his hummer pinned Batista's limo. HHH is now an 11 time world champion. Batista gets out of the limo pissed.
VENGEANCE BEGINS:
Batista goes to Bischoff and demands that the title switch be reversed. Bischoff says the referee's decision cannot be switched but he will strip HHH of the title. Batista then calls out HHH in the parking lot of the arena. HHH then comes at Batista with a shovel and clobbers him with it and pins him to become the 12 time world champion!!! By the way, Vince Russo comes out and states that the 24/7 rule is in effect for the world title!
Match 1
Christy vs Victoria
Victoria attempts to do some mat wrestling with christy when viscera comes out and tries to seduce victoria into going home with him to get freaky. Victoria ignores him and continues on with the match. Apparently, Viscera distracts Chirsty who cannot continue the match and flies into the arms of Viscera who whisks her away to have a 3-way with Lillian. Vince McMahon comes out and publicly humiliates victoria for not bowing down to viceroy's advances. Vince says "what the hell do you think you are, a wrestler or a diva? now show us some T & A, Vince brings down Mae young and moolah who strip victoria down to her panties. Victoria ends up in NWATNA a few weeks later.
Match 2
Carlito Cool vs Shelton
Shelton has been given a new gangsta gimmick and comes down to the ring rapping and carrying guns and knives. He cuts a promo about not doing any of those "gay high-flying moves" and is going to keep it legit and real by only brawling. the match goes on for 30 mins until savio vega comes down who is 100lbs heavier than last time we saw him and helps carlito win. Carlito debuts his new finishing move where he spits an apple in his opponents face and it knocks Shelton out who is down for the 1...2...3! Afterward, carlito cuts a racial promo against Shelton shoots against him by saying the only reason he was IC champ for so long was cause he was banging linda macmahon. Crowd is confused and is silent.
Backstage:
Batista seems to have been dazed with the shovel shot and has amnesia. He runs into the new WWE divas and thinks he is a competitor in the diva search. He changes into a skirt and tube top and comes out with the divas on stage dancing and telling dirty jokes. He calls himself ba-teaser. HHH comes out and knocks out all the divas in the ring and then pedigrees batista in the ring for the 3 count and even though he is still champion is named 13 time world champion.
match 3
kurt angle vs shawn michaels
kurt angle has mysteriously left his wrestling singlet at home and comes out in Tajiri's wrestling outfit. about 3 mins into the match shawn michaels get his earring caught in the ring ropes and the match is delayed for 10 minutes. They try to fill in time by interviewing each diva contestant about their favorite sexual position and how many WWE wrestlers have they slept with so far. Eventually, angle and shawn resume the match and spill the action into the crowd where they brawl backstage, when all of a sudden it cuts to a commercial for HHH's bodybuilding book and then it cuts to a 10 minute backstage interview with HHH. The conclusion to the angle/shawn match is never shown or heard from again.
match 4
john cena vs Christian vs Chris Jericho
the match is tunned into a pink slip on a pole match with the winner grabbing the pink slip from the top of the pole and keeping their job. john cena comes out with a 40 ounce of colt 45 and slurs a rap about beating Christan and Jericho. After 30 mins of bad wrestling from cena, he knocks out the 2 wrestlers with his bottle of colt 45 and then grabs the pink slip and wins the match! Afterwards, eric bishoff comes out and says that there can only be one world champion on RAW and that is HHH. Then then strips cena of the WWE title and awards it to HHH who is up to 14 times world champion now. Jericho and Christian are fired and kicked out of the building.
match 5
edge vs kane
kane comes out and starts ponding away on edge until lita squirts some breast milk at kane and kane is blinded! Edge hits the edge-0-matic (or the spear, or the downward spiral or whatever the hell his finishing move is now) and pins Kane. After the match, edge and lita make out in the middle of the ring when MATT HARDY comes out to the ring. Unfortunately, he trips on the way into the ring and tears both his quads a la Vince macmahon at the royal rumble. Edge starts beating him senseless and lita beats him up too and gives him the twist of fate and leaves the crippled Matt hardy in the ring. Kane and Matt hardy then have a moment of bonding over both losing lita and share a long, awkward hug in the ring when gene snitsky joins in the hug and says "i like you both" then john hid-en-reich comes out and make "friends" with all of three of them and they walk out of the arena hand in hand in hand in hand.
Rosy and the hurricane come out and challenge any up and comers to a match for the world tag title. HHH comes out and pedigrees both of them and pins them to mysteriously come the 15 time world champion!!!
HELL IN A CELL
HHH vs Ba-teaser
Ba-teaser comes out to the ring with skirt and tube top and battles HHH for 40 mins. He pounds the living crap of HHH hitting all the moves/holds in the wrestling book on him when ric flair opens the door to the cage (which is mysteriously not locked at all) and hits a weak chairshot on ba-teaser. HHH pedigrees ba-teaser and awards the match to HHH (because no one, NO ONE gets up from the pedigree) to become the 16 time world champion without pinning Batista. After the match, HHH says that he is now equal to ric flair's 16 title reigns and challenges him to a match with his 16 title reigns up against his. HHH pins ric flair in under 2 minutes with the pedigree and becomes the 32 time world heavyweight champion. Vince macmahon comes out and announces that he has folded all other belts in the WWE and consolidated them into the new HHH belt which he awards to HHH. HHH then demands respect and demands every single RAW and SMACK DOWN competitor down to the ring. All the WWE superstars then wait in line by ringside to get pedigreed by the GAME! After the game has pedigreed every single WWE superstar (including Vince macmahon) a mysterious figure is shown watching from the rafters, a superstar that has waited over one year watching HHH and stalking his every move, just as the PPV ends, the camera pans up to show it is none other than GARRISON CADE!
END OF SHOW
So, there it is, this is how the WWE can say F U to all their fan base and destroy their whole audience in one night on PPV.
Anyone else want to book a worse PPV?
Preshow:
We are shown Batista driving up to the arena in his limo when all of a sudden a big hummer drives up and crashes into Batista's limo with Batista still inside it. The hummer continues to drive into the limo until it is on top of the limo. A WWE referee comes out and counts the three count! WHAT HAS HAPPENED! HHH gets out of the hummer and the referee awards HHH the world title because his hummer pinned Batista's limo. HHH is now an 11 time world champion. Batista gets out of the limo pissed.
VENGEANCE BEGINS:
Batista goes to Bischoff and demands that the title switch be reversed. Bischoff says the referee's decision cannot be switched but he will strip HHH of the title. Batista then calls out HHH in the parking lot of the arena. HHH then comes at Batista with a shovel and clobbers him with it and pins him to become the 12 time world champion!!! By the way, Vince Russo comes out and states that the 24/7 rule is in effect for the world title!
Match 1
Christy vs Victoria
Victoria attempts to do some mat wrestling with christy when viscera comes out and tries to seduce victoria into going home with him to get freaky. Victoria ignores him and continues on with the match. Apparently, Viscera distracts Chirsty who cannot continue the match and flies into the arms of Viscera who whisks her away to have a 3-way with Lillian. Vince McMahon comes out and publicly humiliates victoria for not bowing down to viceroy's advances. Vince says "what the hell do you think you are, a wrestler or a diva? now show us some T & A, Vince brings down Mae young and moolah who strip victoria down to her panties. Victoria ends up in NWATNA a few weeks later.
Match 2
Carlito Cool vs Shelton
Shelton has been given a new gangsta gimmick and comes down to the ring rapping and carrying guns and knives. He cuts a promo about not doing any of those "gay high-flying moves" and is going to keep it legit and real by only brawling. the match goes on for 30 mins until savio vega comes down who is 100lbs heavier than last time we saw him and helps carlito win. Carlito debuts his new finishing move where he spits an apple in his opponents face and it knocks Shelton out who is down for the 1...2...3! Afterward, carlito cuts a racial promo against Shelton shoots against him by saying the only reason he was IC champ for so long was cause he was banging linda macmahon. Crowd is confused and is silent.
Backstage:
Batista seems to have been dazed with the shovel shot and has amnesia. He runs into the new WWE divas and thinks he is a competitor in the diva search. He changes into a skirt and tube top and comes out with the divas on stage dancing and telling dirty jokes. He calls himself ba-teaser. HHH comes out and knocks out all the divas in the ring and then pedigrees batista in the ring for the 3 count and even though he is still champion is named 13 time world champion.
match 3
kurt angle vs shawn michaels
kurt angle has mysteriously left his wrestling singlet at home and comes out in Tajiri's wrestling outfit. about 3 mins into the match shawn michaels get his earring caught in the ring ropes and the match is delayed for 10 minutes. They try to fill in time by interviewing each diva contestant about their favorite sexual position and how many WWE wrestlers have they slept with so far. Eventually, angle and shawn resume the match and spill the action into the crowd where they brawl backstage, when all of a sudden it cuts to a commercial for HHH's bodybuilding book and then it cuts to a 10 minute backstage interview with HHH. The conclusion to the angle/shawn match is never shown or heard from again.
match 4
john cena vs Christian vs Chris Jericho
the match is tunned into a pink slip on a pole match with the winner grabbing the pink slip from the top of the pole and keeping their job. john cena comes out with a 40 ounce of colt 45 and slurs a rap about beating Christan and Jericho. After 30 mins of bad wrestling from cena, he knocks out the 2 wrestlers with his bottle of colt 45 and then grabs the pink slip and wins the match! Afterwards, eric bishoff comes out and says that there can only be one world champion on RAW and that is HHH. Then then strips cena of the WWE title and awards it to HHH who is up to 14 times world champion now. Jericho and Christian are fired and kicked out of the building.
match 5
edge vs kane
kane comes out and starts ponding away on edge until lita squirts some breast milk at kane and kane is blinded! Edge hits the edge-0-matic (or the spear, or the downward spiral or whatever the hell his finishing move is now) and pins Kane. After the match, edge and lita make out in the middle of the ring when MATT HARDY comes out to the ring. Unfortunately, he trips on the way into the ring and tears both his quads a la Vince macmahon at the royal rumble. Edge starts beating him senseless and lita beats him up too and gives him the twist of fate and leaves the crippled Matt hardy in the ring. Kane and Matt hardy then have a moment of bonding over both losing lita and share a long, awkward hug in the ring when gene snitsky joins in the hug and says "i like you both" then john hid-en-reich comes out and make "friends" with all of three of them and they walk out of the arena hand in hand in hand in hand.
Rosy and the hurricane come out and challenge any up and comers to a match for the world tag title. HHH comes out and pedigrees both of them and pins them to mysteriously come the 15 time world champion!!!
HELL IN A CELL
HHH vs Ba-teaser
Ba-teaser comes out to the ring with skirt and tube top and battles HHH for 40 mins. He pounds the living crap of HHH hitting all the moves/holds in the wrestling book on him when ric flair opens the door to the cage (which is mysteriously not locked at all) and hits a weak chairshot on ba-teaser. HHH pedigrees ba-teaser and awards the match to HHH (because no one, NO ONE gets up from the pedigree) to become the 16 time world champion without pinning Batista. After the match, HHH says that he is now equal to ric flair's 16 title reigns and challenges him to a match with his 16 title reigns up against his. HHH pins ric flair in under 2 minutes with the pedigree and becomes the 32 time world heavyweight champion. Vince macmahon comes out and announces that he has folded all other belts in the WWE and consolidated them into the new HHH belt which he awards to HHH. HHH then demands respect and demands every single RAW and SMACK DOWN competitor down to the ring. All the WWE superstars then wait in line by ringside to get pedigreed by the GAME! After the game has pedigreed every single WWE superstar (including Vince macmahon) a mysterious figure is shown watching from the rafters, a superstar that has waited over one year watching HHH and stalking his every move, just as the PPV ends, the camera pans up to show it is none other than GARRISON CADE!
END OF SHOW
So, there it is, this is how the WWE can say F U to all their fan base and destroy their whole audience in one night on PPV.
Anyone else want to book a worse PPV?
). Carly runs at Benjy, but no! They attack Morgan! IT WAS THE ULTIMATE SWERVE! As the two walk away, they look in to eachother's eyes. They have a "bonding moment" and hug. But Morgan grabs a Mic. "You can't love him Carly!" "Why?" Carly says. "Because....HE IS YOUR FATHER!" The whole crowd is then shocked, as we go to a cheap plug for the sponser.