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Post by Big DSR Energy on Nov 18, 2010 23:29:03 GMT -5
"War Games: The Match Beyond!" The whole match is run by 1980's computers & Matthew Broderick accidentally hacked into the computers trying to get some free games. The War Games cage decides to play some "Global Thermonuclear War" on the RAW roster. And then Lucas Barton hacks into the War Games cage with his Power Glove (because it's so bad). The match is declared a no-contest, even though nobody's even competing. This infuriates Zack Ryder, who shows up and tells Lucas, "Bro..."
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ashcampbell
Bubba Ho-Tep
Eagle Claw attacks again!!!
Posts: 584
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Post by ashcampbell on Nov 19, 2010 16:00:43 GMT -5
"...you'd get SO much more action if you wore one-legged pants, like I do! Woo woo woo!" And then he proceeds to toss Lucas an extra pair of his one-legged wrestling trunks, as well as a headband and sunglasses. "Clap it up, bro!" This leads Lucas to...
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Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
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Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on Nov 19, 2010 16:25:53 GMT -5
Toss them back and suckerpunch Ryder with his "Power Hand".....Which then begins to Choke Lucas ala Dr. Strangelove (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb), apparently the Power Gloved hand has become self aware, and in a voice eerily similar to Senor Winces proclaims........
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ashcampbell
Bubba Ho-Tep
Eagle Claw attacks again!!!
Posts: 584
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Post by ashcampbell on Nov 19, 2010 16:31:07 GMT -5
..."You suck!" Then Lucas magically pulls a chainsaw out of thin air, and begins to cut off the self-aware Power Glove hand, while screaming..."...who's laughing now, eh? WHO'S LAUGHING NOOOWWWAAAHHHHH?" Then the disembodied hand...
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OB91
Team Rocket
Posts: 988
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Post by OB91 on Nov 19, 2010 16:47:34 GMT -5
Tranforms into Vince McMahon, whose head explodes. Commercials.
When we get back, we see John Cena, David Otunga and Big Daddy V giving the audience a masterclass in technical wrestling. Big Daddy V explodes when trying to do a headlock, the audience responds by...
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Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
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Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on Nov 19, 2010 16:52:42 GMT -5
Calls out for more hands! Suddenly Hand Henry, Thing, The Hand from Idle Hands, The Disembodied Hand Familiar fro Kingdom of Loathing, The Hand of Fear (Dr. Who), Handy (With Human Ton), The Beast with Five Fingers, and Finally......The Smackdown Fist all come down to the Ring and.......
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ashcampbell
Bubba Ho-Tep
Eagle Claw attacks again!!!
Posts: 584
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Post by ashcampbell on Nov 19, 2010 18:13:44 GMT -5
...simeltaneously flip off the entire crowd, but are forced to flee for their lives when a gaggle of contestants from America's Next Top Model appear in the entranceway, and run towards the ring. Suddenly...
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Post by Predator McBroski on Nov 19, 2010 20:50:34 GMT -5
A returning Corporal Kirschner runs out and explodes.
Mick Foley comes to the ring to..
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Raging_Demons
Don Corleone
I Can Ride My Bike With No Handlebars, No Handlebars, No Handlebars!
Posts: 1,620
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Post by Raging_Demons on Nov 19, 2010 22:02:07 GMT -5
*waits to see Mick Foley trying to get to the ring*
Mick Foley stops for a minute.
Mick then heads out towards the ring, stops, & now he finally enters the ring.
Mick Foley grabs a microphone but passes out due to exhaustion since he can barely walk anymore thanks to his injuries & his $200 a day pie eating habit.
Ezekiel Jackson comes out, the last WWECW champion, hangs his head in shame & he must drag Foley out to the ring. Due to Foley's weight, Jackson collapses & is suffocating from being drowned in Foley's weight right in the middle of the ring.
"Stroke-Ridden" Jim Ross & "Stroke-Ridden" Nate Dogg yell out...
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Post by italliansausagepat on Nov 19, 2010 22:04:58 GMT -5
All off a sudden, I.R.S appears from under the ring, and pulls out a mask of Jim Duggan out of his briefcase. This makes Duggan furious, and on his way down to the ring he is pulling tape out of his trunks. when mic foley grabs the mic and demands a fatal four way taped fist match between Big zeke, IRS, Duggan, and him as Cactus Jack.
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ashcampbell
Bubba Ho-Tep
Eagle Claw attacks again!!!
Posts: 584
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Post by ashcampbell on Nov 19, 2010 23:31:07 GMT -5
...but unfortunately, this doesn't happen, because instead of taping his fists, somehow Jim Duggan ends up taping himself to the ringpost...now the ref rings the bell and declares this a 'See Who Can Free Duggan First on a Pole' match, with the added stipulation of...
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Raging_Demons
Don Corleone
I Can Ride My Bike With No Handlebars, No Handlebars, No Handlebars!
Posts: 1,620
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Post by Raging_Demons on Nov 19, 2010 23:36:37 GMT -5
the winner must help Hacksaw Jim Duggan become a U.S. Citizen again since he's still a Canadian from his WCW days. Loser must eat all the pies that Mick Foley wants to eat.
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Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
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Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on Nov 20, 2010 20:00:28 GMT -5
The Winner is Hacksaw Jim Duggan.......for some reason, even though IRS actually freed him, as it turns out IRS is also not really an American Citizen......apparently.....Even the Announcers are confused at this point, When all of a sudden VINCE RUSSO APPEARS TO SAY....
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OB91
Team Rocket
Posts: 988
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Post by OB91 on Nov 20, 2010 20:46:29 GMT -5
"This product is ridiculous. We need some serious wrestling!"
The audience then explode...
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Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
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Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on Nov 20, 2010 20:51:01 GMT -5
in uproarious laughter.
Vince then says "Yeah....I'm just shitting ya, let the head 'splosions and pointless twists and swerves continue!" His head then explodes, with each gib slowly growing into a Midget version of Russo, that then carry off the headless corpse.
Our next Match is announced as............
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Raging_Demons
Don Corleone
I Can Ride My Bike With No Handlebars, No Handlebars, No Handlebars!
Posts: 1,620
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Post by Raging_Demons on Nov 20, 2010 23:01:42 GMT -5
Kelly Kelly versus Self Respect.
Kelly Kelly wins.
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Post by italliansausagepat on Nov 20, 2010 23:03:22 GMT -5
Freddy Joe floyd vs T.L Hopper in a number 1 conterdership for the "Mid-Atlantic WWF one night only title" match.
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Post by Big DSR Energy on Nov 21, 2010 3:30:14 GMT -5
Freddy Joe floyd vs T.L Hopper in a number 1 conterdership for the "Mid-Atlantic WWF one night only title" match. This match is ruled a no-contest though, as Triple H gets into the ring. Apparently he's still been breakdancing this whole time, but all that spinnin' around and poppin' and lockin' has made him dizzy. He shambles around the ring for a bit before vomitting all over the referee. Then he tears both of his quads. Over at commentary, Matt Striker is heard to proclaim...
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Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
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Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on Nov 21, 2010 16:38:02 GMT -5
"Sweet Sassy Molassy!"
To which Micheal Cole replies:
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Raging_Demons
Don Corleone
I Can Ride My Bike With No Handlebars, No Handlebars, No Handlebars!
Posts: 1,620
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Post by Raging_Demons on Nov 21, 2010 17:53:04 GMT -5
VINTAGE Matt Striker!
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