CHIKARA Season 9: A Call To Arms

[Ultimo Chocula]

Nov 13, 2010 4:31:51 GMT -5 Bake Or Die said:

Nov 13, 2010 2:00:43 GMT -5 Ultimo Chocula said:

Or, dig this, same scenario except Pinkie or Donst screws DeathHaze to wipe out the three points they earned by orders of Ares and Claudio.

Not going to happen.

Quack & Jigsaw will get screwed out of the third point & thus Mike Quakenbush has no other choice but to team up with Stigma to challenge for the belts.

I don't think the BDK are all that worried about Jigsaw.

[DeathRay]

Nov 13, 2010 2:00:43 GMT -5 Ultimo Chocula said:

Nov 12, 2010 19:19:49 GMT -5 The Tank said:

Sounds about right, unfortunately.

Or, dig this, same scenario except Pinkie or Donst screws DeathHaze to wipe out the three points they earned by orders of Ares and Claudio.

i don't see that happening because DeathHaze would murder Pinkie/Donst and then get kicked out of the BDK, and i don't think DeathHaze will leave the group until the next season or the season finale.

[Chainsaw]

Larry Sweeney?! Buck Hawke?! MAXIME BOYER?!?!

Maybe someone has refired up the Galactica 3000 Time Machine again after all!

[Deleted]

New blog by Sugar Dunkerton:
11/15/2010: -Single, hot spotlight on Sugar Dunkerton. Picture an interrogation room a'la Basic Instinct.-

Impact.

It's not a frustrating to watch show on Thursday nights.

It's what Dasher Hatfield did when he put Brodie Lee down for that 3 second tan. He slayed a (unwashed) giant that had been running around for months undefeated and in the process, got the whole CHIKARMY talking.

Couldn't help but crack a big grin about that when I stepped off the plane and became apart of the US of A again. Maybe it was because of the newfound confidence and luck I managed to smuggle through customs? Or perhaps it was the fact that I was the (-Howard Finkel voice-) NEEEEEEEEEW 2010 Irish Rumble victor?

Nope.

The grin was born of motivation. Desire to make an impact of my own. I left this country to get my head together and come back stronger and hotter then a pot of Starbucks. So I set a target and I made a phone call. That call ended, the deal was signed, and the split was all to the groovy. Yet somehow, I felt terrible. How could I have done something like this? What I had set into motion would ruin the lives of 4 warriors come the 20th of November, yet my remorse severely lacked.

-Sigh-

I can't keep justifying this anymore. I have a confession to make: I should be locked up in the highest security prison with no hope for parole. I'm a fiend, terrorist, charlatan, and fink of the highest order.

Why?



Because it is absolutely CRIMINAL what has been brought together for November 20th! Da Soul Touchaz! "Barack O'Slama" Sugar D! TOGETHER! SAME RING!

-Shakes head in faux disgust-

I'm extending this opportunity for the BDK to turn this to a handicap match, because they'll definitely need the help fo sho'. I couldn't think of a better target than the BDK to make statement against. BDK, don't hear this; but LISTEN.

I'm gonna break it down for you like a 4th grader. -Mimes holding their hand like a little child to guide them-

I can feel you crumbling. Your foundation was built on bubblegum and popsicle sticks and although those items may hold; they don't endure. All it takes is the right quake. So how about the 8.5 on the scale of Marshe Rockett, Acid Jaz, Willie "Da Bomb", the immaculate C.Red and his "Urban Jewel" with Sugar Dunkerton? Remember when the Touchaz embarrassed the "MIGHTY" BDK in Michigan? Or how about when I was 1/4th of the team that beat you guys in New Jersey?

I hear cracking.

You've installed your own dictator. You've got a referee that would be shot of a cannon for the calls he makes if it were the NBA, but somehow still has a job. You've taken EVERY shortcut to get ahead and infect the very vibe of CHIKARA with your jive energies.

Yet Frightmare is OUR Young Lions Cup champion. Kingston won OUR Cibernetico, besting your monster no less in the final. Your strategies grow sloppier and sloppier. This is not the timeline of a dominant force known as the BDK.

It's the timeline of a fall from grace, one broken popsicle stick at a time. I'm getting to the point, bare with me.

You have all the tools to dominate except heart and soul.

Look at our squad. There's more heart than Hallmark on Valentine's Day and do I even need to touch on how much soul is in the cut? (See what I did there....so clever.)

I almost feel sorry for what you guys are about to endure. The S&S Express is a bullet train that left the station at blinding speeds the moment C.Red gave the OK. Every day is a day we draw closer and the destination is complete victory. No DQ's, count-outs, or moral victories...decisive, undeniable, victory. I'm watching the 4 of you play on the tracks we race down and we're blowing the horn telling you to move out the way as fast as you can. Yet you still seem to think you're the power you once were.

I can't wait til we mow you guys down in Easton. They'll find nothing but broken popsicles sticks and charred bubblegum.

If that ain't a clear enough picture; invest in an Etch-A-Sketch.
SD

[Spankymac is sick of the swiss]

I f***ing love Sweet Sugar D.

[Deleted]

New blog by Vin Gerard
11/16/2010: Remember that time big bad Jimmy Olsen made the statement "we'll see just who has gotten weak?" Haha! Boy, did you eat your words with that double cheeseburger!!!

Newsflash CHIKARA dweebs, it looks as though The UnStable has trimmed the fat! Who knew that all it would take is a few salads and a swift kick [you know where] to a certain never-was!? A never-was! Never was anything here in CHIKARA, never was anything there in the WWE. And now you're back to carrying around your pregnant brother.

Now you know how WE felt for the past two years, Colin!



I can sit here all night typing up joke after joke, and running either one of you down line after line. But really what is that accomplishing? I have more important things to do, like, get this Olsens: GO TO A GYM!

You really want something to do this Sunday, CHIKARMY? Come out to South Philly. For just $20, I'll teach you how to shove a boot into someone's mouth.

I'm sick of this. No more games. See you both on Sunday.
VG

[Deleted]

Another day, another blog. This one from Chuckie T:
11/17/2010: Everytime I sit down to write one of these blogs, I feel like it's always the same.

"I've been gone for a month, but now Chuck Taylor is coming back and with the rest of F.I.S.T. we will dominate all the competition."

I'm willing to bet if you look back on every blog that I've sent into this site, it'll basically be that. Ya know why? Because that's exactly what's gonna happen, morons! Myself and Icarus have a chance to rack up three points in one night! And it's even sweeter that in our match are those two Egyptian midgets and a pair of girls...GIRLS! I hope little Daizee Haze doesn't break a nail, or that Sara Del Rey can pull herself away from Gossip Girl marathons long enough to get decimated in the middle of South Philly on the 21st. I may be a Gentleman, but I'm not above hitting a woman if she gets out of line.



Ultimately, it doesn't matter who is across the ring from us, because CT and his boy Icarus ain't afraid of nobody or nothin'. When that sweet "Blue Monday" drum beat hits (don't judge, I didn't pick it) you know that some folks are gonna die.

Three points, here we come. We'll see you soon, BDK.

The Kentucky Gentleman,
CT

[Deleted]

Match 2 at Reality is Relative

[comahan]

Is Claudio going to be in Japan for RiR?

[Deleted]

So, yours truly is making his first trip to the legendary Arena this Sunday. What i'm not looking forward to is the 3 and a half hour drive I have to partake in that morning.

[Deleted]

Another day, another blog. This one's from Arik Cannon

11/18/2010: "The Anarchist" Arik Cannon returns to CHIKARA this weekend...OH YEAH!

As the weekend quickly approaches, I grow more and more excited. Anxious even. Why? Because it's been quite some time since I've stepped foot into a CHIKARA ring. But more so because I have a few things on my mind. Knowledge. Winning. Revenge.

Knowledge: Chikara Wrestle Factory has been raising the bar when it comes to professional wrestling training since 2002. With each new class, comes a long list of new holds and counters. I've been trying to soak up as much of this as humanly possible since 2003! I've never left a CHIKARA ring without having learned something new. This weekend shall be no different. I am looking forward to learning something new, something different, maybe even something "special." I want to learn, because I want to be better. I want to have that edge. I want - no, I need to win!

Winning: Am I a good sport? I try to be. Am I a gracious loser? No, absolutely not! Losing always leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. No matter how you get there, the route from Minneapolis, Minnesota to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania is a long one. As if the taste of losing wasn't bitter enough, to make that trek and lose only makes it worse. I don't want to win. I need to win. I will win! On Saturday night in Easton, 8 former Young Lions Cup champions will meet...the Golden Dream Match. Something I'm certainly no stranger to. It was just over a year ago that myself, Hallowicked, and Fire Ant had our hands raised in victory after a Golden Dream Match. Sure, the match is a little different this time around. Some of the participants have changed. We've even got ourselves an additional teammate in Jigsaw. For every detail of this match that has changed, there is one that will remain the same, and that is at the end of the night I will again have my hand raised in victory. Golden Dream Match, it's kind of funny if you think about it...because for our opponents, it's going to be a nightmare! Especially you, Max Boyer!



Revenge: I remember it like it was yesterday. Sunday, June 25th 2006 was a very special night for me. It was on this night, that I became Young Lions Cup champion! I had broken away from the Kings Of Wrestling, and onto my own. On my own, literally. None of the rudos trusted me. Due to my prior affiliation with the Kings Of Wrestling, the tecnicos didn't even want to talk to me, let alone attempt to trust me! Really; in hindsight, I don't blame them. Any of them. They had no reason to. I went into the YLC tournament friendless, and constantly looking over my shoulder. You might even say I was paranoid. I certainly wasn't in the right frame of mind to be successful in a match, not to mention an entire tournament! Sometimes it's funny how things work out. I thought I was alone, without a friend in the world. Little did I know, that on that night I'd have hundreds friends cheering me on. Those friends of mine, you now know them as the CHIKARMY. My confidence grew, I felt good. I knew it was going to be a good night, and boy was it ever!

I didn't need a group of jerks like the Kings Of Wrestling at my side to win. I didn't need a partner to tag out to. I knew it, and it was time to prove it, and that is exactly what I did. I was determined to defend the YLC at every opportunity presented to me. At that time, nobody had defended their reign as YLC champion as often or as successful as I had. Then, Max Boyer ruined everything. Max Boyer took my entire world, and crushed it under his no good lousy Canadian foot! On October 28th of that same year I lost the YLC to Max Boyer. The match ended, and I couldn't believe it. I was in shock. Shock turned to rage, and then that rage became regret. As senior official Bryce Remsburg handed Boyer MY Young Lions Cup trophy, I lost it.

I shoved Bryce to the ground. Putting my hands on an official was bad enough, but what made it worse is that Bryce was, and is to this day, a real friend. But that wasn't even the half of it! My actions resulted in an indefinite suspension. I had asked numerous times for the opportunity to redeem myself, for a shot at Max Boyer and MY Young Lions Cup. I served my suspension, and it looked as if though I was going to get my chance, a rematch with Boyer. But we all know that never happened. Because Max Boyer, the "lost" Young Lions Cup champion, decided to pack up and go home. Retire. Quit. Without reason! Just cause! I never got my chance to remove that black mark, so to speak, from my CHIKARA record.

The apologies have been accepted, the fences have been mended, and all is well between myself and CHIKARA. However, for you Max Boyer, it's a totally different story. This Saturday night, in Easton, Pennsylvania you're mine. The guys on my team know the story, and they know what this means to me. Finally, 4 years later, I'm getting my opportunity to right that wrong and prove to not only you, but to myself, who the better man is! Lace'em up nice and tight Boyer, this will not be a wasted opportunity. That, I assure you.

That's all folks,
AC

[The Spelunker!]

It's funny how much these blogs get the story of the match thru. They really make everything feel more personal.

[Bake Or Die]

[Maniac Mitch]

Nov 18, 2010 23:47:32 GMT -5 The Spelunker! said:

It's funny how much these blogs get the story of the match thru. They really make everything feel more personal.

I econd this emphatically! I love the little match rundowns and the blogs. Chikara is the only promotion I've ever seen that actually promotes every match on the card and gives a reason to care about every match. Most promotions romote the top two or three matches and then just throw together the rest of the card without giving a reason for any of the other matches.

Other promotions should take notice of these blogs too. They are incredibly effective for furthering character, and selling matches and angles. Chikara proves it doesn't have to be an over complicated story to be effective. "Wrestler A has recently has been on a roll. Wrestler B has had a few losses and is looking to turn the momentum back in his favour. Can Wrestler B change his luck, or will he be another victim of Wrestler A."

Simple and yet it at least gives something of interest for what would be a throw away match in most other promotions.

[Deleted]

The last blog before this weekends action comes from Icarus:
11/19/2010: "OMG," cried the simpletons on the internet, "we totally get to see Mister ZERO and Jolly Roger get revenge on Icarus in Easton!" WRONG-O. Buck-O's.

Fact Uno: I, Sir Icarus, (yeah I was knighted so what,) in 2005 did in fact perform a Tornado Pedigree, on Mister ZERO, to the floor of the Reading Coliseum, thus ending his career.

Fact Dos: I did choke the beejebus out of Jolly Roger cutting off O2 (yeah that's oxygen for all you non-chemistry smarties out there,) to his brain, thus damaging his occipital lobe, ruining his eye site and ending his career. Everyone's quick to point out the villain under these circumstances. "Oh that Icarus, always ending careers."

What about ME? What about my revenge? It seems that all the snarky CHIKARA fans will quickly point out a few evil doings on my part, but who remembers the real story? Well, since most of you are too lazy to actually do some homework, let me school you in some CHIKARA History 101.

July 22, 2006. It was a waning crescent moon, two great and fearless warriors commenced in a battle so intense, it caused a butterfly to flap its wings in Hong Kong. Unfortunately, the courageous and noble Icarus fell, defeated by the revolting (and daft) Jigsaw. Icarus, in his pure genius, realized quickly that a hasty exit was the only way to save his luxurious lemon locks. Just as freedom was within his grasp, who should appear but a breakdancing buccaneer, jealous of the golden mane on our hero's head. With ninja-like reflexes, Icarus quickly sprang into action, fleeing from the pirate, and headed for the only other way out. An exit he found to be blocked by a middle-aged business tyrant. Sadly outnumbered, Icarus succumbed to his foes and the curls of couragessness were snipped from his head.



Now ask yourself this, all you cynical internet fans, who's getting revenge on who? I'll tell you who - Icarus, that's who. I can't wait to get my hands on you, ZERO, and you, Jolly Roger. I can't wait to get in the ring with my team and tear you limb from limb. Your decision to interfere in my noble escape was your first mistake. Your decision to step back in the ring was your second mistake. Your decision to face off against me (and my elite team) was your third and final mistake. So Saturday in Easton, tie your boots one last time. Soak in the applause from the monosyllabic, chanting buffoons. Enjoy the moment while you can, because once you step foot through those ropes you’re going to find out that I like to serve my dish of revenge with a punch to the throat.

Settler of Scores,
ICARUS

[Methusael86]

Icarus actually does bring up a valid point. But than again, it's Icarus, so BOOOO.

[DeathRay]

Nov 17, 2010 13:03:26 GMT -5 comahan said:

Is Claudio going to be in Japan for RiR?

Claudio is booked to be on "Reality is relative" (thanks www.claudiocastagnoli.com/).

[Deleted]

Alrighty folks, Scornucopia is minutes away! The announced card so far:
Golden Dream Elimination 8-Man Tag Match: Hallowicked, Arik Cannon, Jigsaw and Fire Ant vs. Vin Gerard, STIGMA, Tim Donst and the returning Max Boyer

Blast From the Past 8-Man Tag Match: Ultramantis Black, Jolly Roger, Dragonfly and Mr. ZERO vs. Icarus, Lance Steel, Darkness Crabtree and Rorschach

Young Lions Cup: Frightmare vs. Lince Dorado

The S&S Express (Da Soul Tochaz and Sugar Dunkerton) vs. the BDK (Ares, Tursas, Daizee Haze and Pink Ant)

Dasher Hatfield vs. Buck Hawke

The Osirian Portal vs. Obariyon and Kodama

3.0 vs. Los Ice Creams

I'll post the results from @mushroomjones in my next post

[Deleted]

Match 1: Los Ice Creams taking on 3.0
With a little fan assistance at 14:29 3.0 and Brandon (from the crowd!) dogpile Los Ice Creams for the win!

Match 2: Scornacopia continues as the returning Buck Hawke faces off with Dasher Hatfield
Cradle DVD at 8:45 by Dasher sends Buck Hawke back home with a loss but Grizzy Redwood is out...
Grizzly congratulates Dasher about his win last month in Easton which calls out Brodie Lee
Brodie just kicked Dasher head off and left with Grizzly Redwood

Match 3: 8-person tag as the BDK - Ares, Tursas, Pink Ant & Daizee take on Sugar Dunkerton & Da Soul Touchaz up now!
Marshe scores with an Ace Crusher on Pinkie at 14:45 for the win! Da Soul Touchaz seem to have the BDK's number!

Match 4: Lince Dorado gets his chance to bring the Young Lions Cup to the BDK as he takes on Frightmare right now!
Frightmare overcomes the BDK numbers game to defeat Lince Dorado at 11:10 with Kneecolepsy

INTERMISSION

Match 5: Back from intermission with the Blast from the Past eight man tag
A low blow followed by the Blu-Ray on Jolly Roger at 17:51 gives Icarus the win for his team

Match 6: The duo of Obariyon & Kodama take on the Osirian Portal - Amasis & Ophidian right now
The leaping DDT by Obariyon on Ophidian at 17:23 give his team the victory and their 2nd point!

Match 7: Main event time - the Golden Dream Eight Man Elimination tag! All former Young Lions Cup holders up now
Fire Ant takes the STO from Tim Donst and is eliminated
Glimmering Warlock by Cannon takes Boyer out followed by Donst pinning Cannon and Hallowicked sending Donst packing
Ryden Bomb at 18:39 Hallowicked eliminates Vin Gerard
And to close it out at 19:13 Jigsaw pins STIGMA to claim victory for he & Hallowicked

[Steveweiser]

Looks like Chuck Taylor is a doubt for tomorrow, he dislocated his shoulder against Austin Aries for EVOLVE tonight.