WWCF BattleBowl, August 29th, 2011*"Eye Of The Tiger" by Survivor plays as we see highlights leading up to tonight’s show:
Whitey Fats defeating Seth Drakin to earn a shot at Colt's World Heavyweight Championship...
...the feud between Jonathan Michaels and Evil M...
...and the Lethal Lottery matches.*
Pyro explodes as we go live!!!
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: Good evening everybody, and thank you for inviting us into your homes for what promises to be an amazing show! This is BattleBowl, I'm Tim Hoss, he's Jesse King...Jesse King: Heya.Tim Hoss: ...and tonight we'll not only see Whitey Fats try to capture Colt's championship--the title that Colt has held for the last five months--but we'll also see who will challenge the winner of that match at GookerMania IV in September!Jesse King: That'll happen in the Battle Bowl, the battle royal that this event is named after! Fifteen men are going to be fighting to be the last one left in the ring, with the winner getting the title shot you mentioned, Gorilla!Tim Hoss: But to start the night we have what looks to be a brutal match between two longtime rivals.Jesse King: Jonathan Michaels and Evil M have waged war with one another for nearly two years, Gorilla! But tonight could be the match to end all matches!Tim Hoss: It’s a steel cage last man standing match, folks! The rules are pretty simple. Two men enter the cage, one man walks out, the other get’s knocked out!Jesse King: We’ve never had such a match before, have we Gorilla?Tim Hoss: Certainly not, Jess! Tonight, we are guaranteed to have a winner!The following contest is the Steel Cage Last Man Standing match! In this match, the only way to win is to incapacitate your opponent so that he cannot answer the referee’s ten count!A warped, demonic wedding march plays as Evil M slowly walks down the aisle, ignoring the jeers from the crowd.
Introducing first, from Rockland, Massachusetts, weighing in at 308 pounds, Evil M!Evil M has not been the same since Botch at the Beach, Jess.And can you blame him? It was there that his beloved manager and would-be father-in-law, Hideo Nakatomi suffered a fatal heart attack! On M’s wedding day, no less!Since that unfortunate event, M has become unhinged, undergoing a transformation that harkens back to his early days in the WWCF…*DOA*
Smoke fills the entrance and Jonathan Michaels emerges to a huge pop from the crowd.
And his opponent, from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 240 pounds, Jonathan Michaels!In contrast, Jonathan Michaels’ may have had the night of his life at Botch at the Beach. He finally reunited with the woman he loves and even got to marry her!And then he got to watch his father-in-law die.I hate to even say such a thing, but after everything Hideo Nakatomi and Evil M have put him through, it had to be at the very least, bitterweet for Jono.Michaels walks down the aisle, but before he gets to the cage, Evil M attacks him on the ramp! M grabs Michaels by the hair and flings him into the crowd barricade!
And Evil M not even allowing Michaels to get in the ring!Referee John Creed attempts to establish order, but M shoves him down, then grabs Michaels and tosses him into the side of the cage!
The match hasn’t even started yet and already things are getting wild!Good luck, John Creed!M pulls Michaels up and tosses him into the ring. M enters and continues his attack. He pulls Michaels up by the hair and shoots him into the ropes. As Jono bounces back, M hit’s a big boot! John Creed enters the ring and closes the cage door! As Will Alphonzo locks the door, Creed calls for the bell!
Steel Cage Last Man Standing Match
Evil M V. Jonathan MichaelsM picks Michaels up and slams against the side of the cage. He charges, but Michaels moves and M crashes into the cage wall! Michaels runs up behind M, belly-to-back suplex! Michaels quickly hooks M’s legs and starts to turn him over into a Boston crab, but M overpowers him and throws him to the mat! M is back up, he grabs Jono by the throat! He goes to lift him up, but Michaels kicks him low and hit’s a DDT!
Desperation move by Jonathan Michaels!M sits up!
And a whole lot of good it did! M just sat up like it was nothing!M gets to his feet, Michaels meets him with some punches, but M shrugs them off and fells Michaels with an uppercut! He pulls Michaels up by the throat, Chokeslam! Creed moves in to check on Jono, but M shoves him out of the way! M runs the ropes and dives at Michaels, who rolls out of the way! M is right back up, but Jono meets him with a knee to the ribs, then a snap suplex!
For Jono, this has become less of a match and more about survival!M sits up, but Michaels clamps on a rear chinlock! He tries to wear M down, but he just powers out of it! M right back on his feet, he grabs Jono, neckbreaker!
No matter what Jono does, Evil M just keeps coming back for more!You’re right, Jess. M is a man possessed and I don’t know if Jono can handle him tonight.M grabs Jono by the legs, leans back, and slingshot’s him into the side of the cage! Jono bounces off the cage, M catches him and hit’s a backbreaker! Before M can administer any further damage, Creed pulls him back and starts to count.
1!
2!
3!Jono starts to get to his knees…
4!
Fi-Jono gets to his feet, stopping the count. M goes right after him with a barrage of punches, sending back into the cage wall. M kicks him right in the ribs, then hit’s a splash! Jono is staggered, but still standing. M goes for a second splash, but Jono moves! M again hit’s the wall, and Jono is all over him with punches, before climbing on the big man’s back! He tries to choke M out, but M falls backwards, driving him into the mat!
This match has been all M, Gorilla!It has indeed, Jess. I’m afraid Jonathan Michaels may have bitten off more than he can chew here!M picks Jono up and carries him on his shoulder. He walks up to the side of the cage, then launches Jono like a lawn dart! Jono bounces off the cage and hit’s the mat with a sickening thud!
My god, Jess! Did you hear the sound Jonathan’s body made when he hit the mat?!And look! He’s been busted open!Indeed, blood is gushing from Jono’s forehead. M isn’t through, but John Creed forces him back and starts to count…
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
6!Jono starts to stir…
7!
8!
Nin-!M crushes John Creed with a lariat!
What is he doing?! Evil M had this match won right there!He ain’t through punishing Michaels yet, Gorilla!As Jono slowly gets to his knees, M kicks him right in the face! He then pulls him up and delivers another backbreaker!
M continues to dish out the punishment, as we have medical workers running out here to check on John Creed.M pulls Jono up, only to throw him face-first into the side of the cage! Will Alphonzo opens the cage door as the WWCF trainer, along with Spud Johnson and Jake Kwon, enter to check on Creed. Alphonzo, Johnson, and the trainer help Creed out of the ring, but Kwon slams the door shut behind them!
What is Jake Kwon doing?!M smiles, then picks Jono up by the throat!
This does not bode well for Michaels, Jess. It’s obvious that Jake Kwon’s previous favoritism of Evil M remains strong.Kwon stands back and watches as M lifts Jono up, then brings him down hard! He drops an elbow on Jono, then grabs him by the legs and delivers the giant swing, before depositing Jono in the corner! M picks Jono up and slams him into the cage wall. Kwon doesn’t even move to count, as M again pulls Michaels up. M nods at Kwon, who opens the door. M throws Jono out of the ring, then follows him.
Now what is Evil M doing?!Outside the cage, M hammers Michaels with punches, then slams him down hard on the ramp. He then starts rummaging under the ring and pulls out a broomstick!
I guess the cage wasn’t enough of a weapon for M!M grabs the broomstick and begins choking Jono with it!
Jono is virtually helpless against Evil M’s onslaught!Jono attempts to defend himself, but M just tosses the broomstick aside and pulls him up.
When I’m through with you, I’m coming after your wife, Jono!M then goes to throw Jono into the side of the cage, but Jono blocks it and rams M’s head into the cage wall! Jono begins hammering M with punches, the picks up the broomstick and cracks him in the ribs!
What the hell?!Suddenly, Jono is back in this!Jono takes another swing, breaking the broomstick over M’s head! He tosses the broken stick aside and goes under the ring, pulling out a table! M charges, but Jono nails him with a low kick, then a DDT on the ramp! M tries to sit up, only for Jono to kick him in the face! M sits up and Jono quickly heads around the cage.
That’s right Jono! Run away!M follows him, but Jono gets over and grabs a chair! M catches up, Jono and spins around and nails him square in the face! M goes down, Jono demands Kwon begin counting!
1!
2!
Thr-M sits up!
Despite Jono’s best efforts, M still gets up!I still think running away was his best option.Jono goes for a second chairshot, but M catches the chair and throws it aside! Jono goes for a kick, only for M to catch it! He grabs Jono by the throat and hoists him up, then slams him into the side of the cage again!
Jono and that cage are getting to know each other a little too well tonight, Gorilla!M grabs Michaels and suplex’s him on the arena floor. He then walks over to the announce table and starts pulling out the monitors!
Hey wait a minute! This was supposed to be a cage match!M glares at Hoss…
Easy big man! Use anything you want!Jesse pulls Gorilla away and M grabs Jono. He goes to Chokeslam him through the announce table, but Jono fights him off and rams him into the cage wall! He quickly makes his way around to the other side of the cage and slides the table inside. Jono rolls back in as M follows suit. Jono meets M with several stomps to the head, then pulls him up and delivers a snap suplex! Jono sets up the table as M sits up! M nails Michaels from behind, then Chokeslam’s him! He repositions the table, then pulls Michaels up again. He starts to set him up for a Powerbomb, but then starts spinning him around! On the third spin, he falls backwards, driving Michaels through the table!
Oh my god!Journey to Hell right through the table!I hate to say it Jess, but I think Jonathan is done…M smiles, then gestures for Kwon to begin the count.
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
6!Somehow, Michaels starts to move!
7!He starts slowly getting to his knees…
8!Michaels is on his knees!How is he doing this?!9!Michaels stumbles and falls!
Te-HE’S UP!!! MY GOD HE’S UP!!!Kwon stops the count as Michaels collapses to the mat. M looks shocked! He then turns to Kwon, who just shrugs. M looks down at Michaels, then turns back and nails Kwon with a throat thrust! He then picks him up and props his feet on the middle rope! Hideo’s Suffering!
No M! Why’d you do that?!Evil M thought he should have won there. Clearly, he’s blaming it on Jake Kwon’s counting!M looks down at Michaels, who’s on his hands and knees, trying to pull himself back up. He pulls him up by the hair, then lets him go. Michaels falls back to the mat. M chuckles, the grabs Kwon. He opens the cage door and throws him out of the ring. M then turns back to Jono. He grabs him by the back of the neck and picks him up. After toying with him a bit, he tosses him to the outside as well.
Evil M clearly has bad intentions in mind now, Jess.M goes under the ring and pulls out a “STOP” sign. M raises up the sign, then notices that Jono is still down. M laughs, then reaches down to pull him up-LOW BLOW!!!
WHAT?!Brilliant move! Jono suckered M in and caught him off guard!M falls to his knees and Jono nails him with some punches! Jono back on his feet and he quickly runs to opposite side of the ring. As M tries to pull himself up, Jono pulls out a ladder. As he sets it up, M is able to get over and club him from behind! He grabs him by the throat, but Jono kicks him off and starts climbing the cage! M tries to follow, only to be kicked back!
“JONO!! JONO!! JONO!! JONO!!”
The crowd firmly behind Jono here…M grabs the ladder, pulls it closer to the cage and starts climbing!
There ya go, M! Climb! CLIMB!!M reaches the top of the ladder and leans over to grab onto the ca-FADE TO BLACK!!! M is knocked off the ladder…
AND GOES RIGHT THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!
OH MY GOD!!!
“HOLY s***!!! HOLY s***!!! HOLY s***!!!”GET A REFEREE DOWN HERE!!!
NOW!!!Will Alphonzo runs back down and quickly checks on M, then begins counting!
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
6!
7!
8!
9!
10!M still doesn’t move as Alphonzo calls for the bell!
Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match…
JONATHAN MICHAELS!!!Ubelievable…After everything Evil M dished out, Michaels still found away to win this thing…Jono celebrates as Sara runs down. The two embrace as the crowd cheers.
And there’s the person this was all about. Sara Nakatomi-Michaels, Jono’s longtime girlfriend and new wife.Sara and Jono share a long kiss as the sustained applause continues.
After everything they were put through at hands of both Evil M and Sara’s father, the late Hideo Nakatomi, how good must this feel?Jono and Sara finally leave the ring, the cheers still not letting up. As they head up the ramp and the cage is raised, Evil M finally starts to stir. He tries to sit up, only to fall back down. Medical attendants come out and help M to the back.
M threw everything he could at Jono, only to be beaten in the end…I’ve gotta give Jono his due, Gorilla. I thought M had him beat at several points, yet he still managed to bounce back and win this thing!Well, as great as this win was for Jonathan Michaels, we must move on… Michael Muffer: Ladies and Gentleman this bought is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from Los Angeles, California and weighing 315 lbs. Cage King! Hoss: Here we are folks with another of our matches this evening. Next up we have Cage King versus the a young up and comer in Jeremy Dupoe. King: Frankly Gorilla, I can't help but think that Cageking has lost his edge. Maybe The Pantheon made a mistake in having this guy at the start. I've been less then impressed with him since he came back. *Hate Me Now-Nas*
Cage King makes his way straight to the ring, sporting a Nas t-shirt, jeans and Nike sneakers. Rolling into the ring he goes to his corner, looking around momentarily before looking to the entry way to wait for his opponent.
Michael Muffer: And his opponent, hailing from Arkham, Massachussetts and weighing 230 lbs. Jeremy Dupoe!"That is not dead which can eternal lie And with strange aeons even death may die" reverberates through the arena...*South of Heaven by Slayer*
Dupoe can be seen rising through a hole in the entry way. His eyes glancing through a book, his face stern. When the lift raises he shuts the book in one hand and makes his way to the ring. His eyes scan the crowd, looking disgusted as he sneaks one last look into his book before placing it by the turnbuckle. Climbing the ring steps he enters the ring and shakes his head at the crowd while removing his robe.
Hoss: And here is the young man I mentioned a moment ago. He's certainly had some memorable moments thus far since his debut. King: I especially liked the part when he was beating on Connor Mackenzie. Hoss: Are you going to say that about anyone that fights him as retaliation for him putting you in that closet? King: Yes, yes I am.Referee Lloyd McFloyd checks both men over briefly before checking to ensure they are ready then calls for the bell.
Cageking vs Jeremy DupoeThe two men meet in the middle of the ring, Dupoe taller but lighter set then Cage King as the two men lock up. Both men jockey back and forth a bit before Dupoe puts Cage King in a side headlock. Cageking gives Dupoe a few quick jabs with an elbow before running for the ropes. Rebounding off, Cage King goes for the spinning heel kick which connects.
Hoss: Cage King off to a quick start in this match.Rolling to his corner, Dupoe rubs his jaw, Cage King moves to follow up as Dupoe reaches for his book only to have Cage King grab onto Dupoe's foot and drag him out of the corner before he can get a good grip on the book. Cage King moves to give a quick elbow drop onto Dupoe's chest then stands, running to the ropes again. Coming off them he rolls, going for a rolling thunder but Dupoe rolls out of the way as Cage King lands on his back.
King: You know, I hear that Dupoe has been speaking with Whitey Fats lately. Makes one wonder if this guy might have a bit more then just book smarts going for him. Hoss: I can't really agree with you on that, King. Whitey seems to be making a big push with Whitey Inc but frankly I'm fearing we may still be seeing something akin to a Pantheon 2.0. King: That's just like you Gorilla. Always looking to the past. Why not look ahead to the future.Dupoe goes on the quick attach, sending a series of punches to Cage King's head before standing up and bringing Cage King up. As he does, Cage King gives a quick punch to the mid-section then moves for the ropes again. Dupoe chases this time however and as Cage King comes off he meets a running knee from Dupoe.
Taking a moment to catch his breath, Dupoe brings Cage King to his feet before giving a quick shot to Cage King's back again. As Cage King winces from the shot, Dupoe gives another, followed by a kick to Cage King's mid section. Coming around behind, Dupoe wraps his arms around Cage King.
Hoss: Dupoe perhaps looking for the german suplex there.Cage King struggles, hooking his leg with Dupoe's as Dupoe attempted the german suplex. Dupoe tries to power Cage King up but Cage King throws a heavy elbow to Dupoe's temple, stunning him. Coming around with the motion from the elbow, Cage King takes a running step before hitting a clothesline on Dupoe. Stopping, Cage King gets ready and flips hitting a standing moonsault onto Dupoe, going for the pin.
Hoss: What a turn around by Cage King! He's going for the cover!1!
2!
Kickout!
Cage King gives a resigned sigh as he starts to get to his feet, picking Dupoe up and getting him to his feet. Cage King starts to reach for Dupoe's leg but Dupoe moves it away, breaking free to give Cage King a punch to the head. Both men start exchanging a couple of punches. As Cage King wheels back for a haymaker Dupoe ducks it. Cage King over shoots and stumbles before turning to face Dupoe again. Dupoe meets him with a quick kick to the gut then reaches to suplex Cage King. Instead of a regular suplex however, Dupoe holds it and lands it on Cage King's head for the brainbuster. Both men lay sprawled on the mat.
Hoss: Both men showing a bit of fatigue now from their respective repetoires. King: Get up Dupoe! The referee starts a ten count as the men stir. Dupoe getting to his feet just before Cage King. Dupoe grabs Cage King's arm and sends him to the ropes. Leaping, Dupoe attempts to hit a Lou Thesz press but Cage King manages to catch and hold Dupoe. Shifting a bit, Cage King slams Dupoe down in a powerbomb.
Hoss: What a display of athleticism from Cage King!Winded, Cage King gets to his feet, stalking Dupoe and waiting for him to rise. Dupoe stumbles, getting to his feet as Cage King springs. Dupoe feels the hands come to his head for an attempted Overnight Celebrity and pushes Cage King into the air. Landing hard on his back, Cage King writhes from the landing.
King: Haha! There you go Dupoe! Finish him!Dupoe takes no rest as he rushes to Cage King. Picking him up and hoisting him to his shoulder before quickly whispering something into his ear then hits the Miskatonic Michinoku Driver. Dupoe holds on for dear life for the pin.
1!
2!
3!
Michael Muffer: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, Jeremy Dupoe! Hoss: Jeremy Dupoe picks up his first victory in the World WrestleCrap Federation! King: This is only the beginning, Gorilla, and it proves how brilliant Whitey Fats is for making Dupoe a part of Whitey Inc! Hoss: Maybe so, King. I'm certainly not discounting Dupoe's ability. Meanwhile, Cageking's slump continues, and one has to imagine that it has to be getting more and more frustrating. King: Yeah, well it's nothing compared to the losing streak that the Great Botchsuke's been on! But he has a chance to put an end to it in our next match when he faces the latest addition to the WWCF roster: Shamar James!Michael Muffer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a fifteen minute time limit!Michael Muffer: Introducing first! Hailing from Iwate, Japan, and weighing in at 180 lbs....THE GREAT BOTCHSUKE!*Botchsuke walks out. A fan takes his picture, and he angrily spins around and punches the fan's lights out.*
Jesse King: Haven't any of these nimrods learned yet that he HATES to have his picture taken?!Tim Hoss: He should punch people more in matches; that's the one move he seems to perform flawlessly every time.*Botchsuke continues down to the ring, enters, climbs to the top rope and backflips into the ring...or tries to, except he botches it horribly and gets tangled up in the ropes. He hurriedly unties himself and tries to act like nothing happened*
Michael Muffer: And his opponent!Michael Muffer: Making his World WrestleCrap Federation debut, he hails from Brooklyn, New York, and weighs in at 240 lbs...he is "The Father Monster" SHAMAR JAMES!*Smoke rises up at the top of the ramp, and Shamar James walks through it, smiling cockily and walking to the ring. He climbs through the ropes, gets up on the top turnbuckle, points to himself and says "Unstoppable." He jumps down and faces off with Botchsuke as referee Will Alphonzo gives both men pre-match instructions*
Tim Hoss: This young man is certainly not lacking in confidence.Jesse King: Of course he's not, Gorilla! If he were, he'd never have made it to the WWCF. And there's the bell...Shamar James vs. The Great Botchsuke*James and Botchsuke lock up, with James overpowering Botchsuke and shoving him ass over teakettle across the ring! Botchsuke looks up at James in amazement as James laughs at him, and then jumps back up and charges at James to lock up again, aggressively fighting for an advantage over the bigger man...only to get thrown across the ring again!*
Tim Hoss: Botchsuke losing the power game, and quite badly!Jesse King: Do it again, Shamar!*James invites Botchsuke to try again, grinning cockily. Botchsuke decides to take a different tack, however; he goes for an enzuigiri but botches it horrendously and just falls on his ass! James shakes his head and stalks toward his opponent, pulling him up by the arm and shooting him into the ropes! James brings Botchsuke crashing to the mat with a drop toe hold!*
Tim Hoss: Nice drop toe hold by Shamar James!Jesse King: I'll bet you five bucks that this doesn't last longer than another minute.Tim Hoss: Stop insulting my intelligence and call the match, King.*James locks a full nelson onto the grounded Botchsuke and cranks up the pressure, putting Botchsuke in a world of hurt! Botchsuke doesn't tap, and finally James releases the hold not because of anything that Botchsuke's done but out of sheer boredom. He throws Botchsuke into the corner and charges in to nearly take his head off with a big boot!*
Tim Hoss: That must've damn near killed Botchsuke!*James pulls Botchsuke (who is pretty much out on his feet) out of the corner, grabs him, runs into the corner and hits him with the Swagnificent!*
Tim Hoss: It's not often that we see a man of James' size showcase agility like that! He calls that move that Swagnificent, and I think it'll be a match-ender if he chooses to go for a pin here.*James covers*
One!
Two!
Three!
Michael Muffer: Here is your winner, SHAMAR JAMES!Tim Hoss: And Shamar James is now 1-0 in WWCF competition! He didn't seem too impressed with Botchsuke, but something tells me that his next match will prove more challenging.Jesse King: Probably, Gorilla. No offense to Botchsuke, but he isn't exactly a future hall of famer here.Hoss: Nevertheless King, that Shamar James character looks pretty impressive I must say. But....what a minute....There is a buzz going on in the crowd and it starts getting louder and louder. SMOKIN VOKOUN IS WALKING THROUGH THE CROWD AND TO THE RINGSIDE AREA!!! The pop is huge as he gets in the ring. But he doesn't do any screaming.
King: What in the blue hell is that loser doing here?Hoss: He's coming through the crowd...no music and totally unannounced!! King: Oh god he has a mic....Vokoun: First off...I have to ask you all one question...HOW DO YOU LIKE BATTLEBOWL SO FAR!!!?The crowd gives positive response.
Good....BECAUSE I THINK BATTLEBOWL SUCKS!!!!! You know...ever since I came back. All I've gotten is disrespect from the WWCF management...and the so called WWCF "superstars" Oh, I know what you're thinking "Well...Smokey, what prove do you have that you've been disrespected"...OH I GOT SOME DAMN PROOF ALL RIGHT!!! You see....in my first match back, I wrestled the WWCF World Heavyweight Champion Colt. My first ever true main event match in the WWCF. And what did I do...I took one of the greatest of all time...to his very limit. I took the top guy....TO THE VERY BRINK OF DEFEAT!!! And if it wasn't for Whitey Fats I would have won..AND NOBODY CAN DENY THAT FACT!!!! So,I thought..."I'm pissed off I lost...but I at least, I'm gonna get noticed. At least, I was gonna get respect." You would think, maybe I would get rewarded by being put in the Battlebowl itself...MAYBE AN ACTUAL WORLD TITLE SHOT!!!! But instead...all I've gotten from the WWCF management...IS DISDAIN AND DISGUST!!! HOW DARE I MAKE THE CHAMPION LOOK BAD!!!! HOW DARE I NOT BOW DOWN TO HIS GREATNESS!!! How dare I....actually try to win the match of my life. So no, I didn't get a standing ovation in the back...I didn't get respect from managment...MY EFFORTS WENT UNNOTICED!!!!! So I guess I was supposed to just lay down because he's champion and "he's better than me". And the the reaction I got from the WWCF Main Eventers....well THAT WAS REAL FEAR!!! FEAR THAT I WOULD TAKE THEIR DAMN SPOT BY DESTROYING THEM...AND THEY KNOW I CAN BEAT THEM!!!!! I'm not gonna go throw the list of names that I either beat...beat up or took to the very limit....BECAUSE IT'S WAY WAY TOO DAMN LONG!!!! SO WHERE'S MY SHOT!!! WHY AM I THE ONE WHO HAS TO SIT OUT ON PPV. I SHOULD BE IN THAT BATTLE BOWL. I SHOULD GET AN OPPORTUNITY FOR A WORLD TITLE!!!! But no....I can see now...that no matter how many matches I win...how good I look in all my matches. I'm gonna stuck where I am. I'm gonna be stuck in limbo while hacks like Whitey Fats, Cageking, Sparks, Evil M....WHO I BEAT!!! I BEAT ALL THOSE GUYS, YET THOSE GUYS GOT TITLE SHOTS AND I NEVER DID!!!! THE WWCF DOESN'T WANT ME TO BE A CHAMPION...because they know....that I would mutilate their golden boys...like Colt. I was this close to beating him...I deserve a shot.King: He has a point Gorilla. He did take Colt to the limit. And where's his shot?So....tonight is Battlebowl...and even though...IT'S A FIVE MATCH SHOW!!! I'M NOT ON THE GOD DAMN CARD!!!! WWCF management couldn't find room for me ANYWHERE!!! I was left alone in the cold...I ACTUALLY HAD TO BUY MY OWN DAMN TICKET YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE I HAD TO BEAT UP TO GET THE MONEY TO BUY MY OWN DAMN TICKET!!!!? So that should tell you...that I can see...where I'm not wanted. The WWCF not only, doesn't want me as Champion....but they don't really, truly want me at all. But I'm not just walk away with my tail between my legs...I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU ALL IGNORE ME ANY LONGER!!!! You see....this is a 3 hour show, I don't have any plans tonight...Vokoun sits down in the middle of the ring, Indian style
I'M GONNA SIT HERE UNTIL SOMEBODY DECIDES TO GET ME OUT!!! I DON'T CARE WHO IT IS...BECAUSE I'M NOT LEAVING THIS RING THE ENTIRE NIGHT!!!!Hoss: What?! We have a pay per view. Smokin Vokoun just can't hijack the show like this!
King: I agree with you. We have a giant steel cage match coming up.
Just then we see a WWCF security guard run out to the ring. The guard comes in and tries to reason with Smokin Vokoun, who is still sitting there, and looks up at him. Just then Vokoun gets up and THROWS A HUGE RIGHT HAND KNOCKING THE SECURITY GUARD OUT COLD!!!! The crowd erupts as this happens. Smokin Vokoun then picks up the dead weight and throws the guard out of the ring and sits right back down.
Hoss: Well that didn't work.King: I think it would take the National Guard to get Smokin Vokoun out of the ring.I'm serious folks...I don't care if they have to wrestle around me I'M NOT MOVING MY ASS!!!!Vokoun starts taunting, laying down in the middle of the ring with his hands under his head and his legs cross. Then Sammy Twister comes out with The Great BotchSuke. Vokoun sits up and watches as the two men try desperately to talk Smokey to leave the ring so the show can continue. Vokoun stands up and looks at both men. He nods and starts to walk away. Just then Vokoun changes his mind, turns around AND HITS A DOUBLE LARIET ON BOTH MEN!!!! Vokoun then grabs Botchsuke and throws him to the turnbuckle. Vokoun climbs up to the top rope, picks him up...AND HITS THE SMOKE BOMB ON BOTCHSUKE!!! Botchsuke is out cold, Vokoun picks him up and throws him out of the ring. Sammy Twister tries to run away, but Vokoun grabs him and APPLIES THE CHICAGO CLAW ON TWISTER!!!! Twister blacks out from this and Vokoun picks him up and throws Twister out of ring. With the ring empty once again, Vokoun sits right back in the middle of the ring.
King: Well those guys are absolutely useless.Hoss: But we have to get him out of the ring!!! Vokoun has totally taken over this show.Just then, "Lets go Sunning" hits as the crowd pops HUGE!!! The General of the Monkey Army comes out with a serious look on his face.
Hoss: This guy will be a little tougher to dispose of King. One of the greatest Hardcore champions of all time!!!Vokoun stands up as The General walks into the ring. The crowd is buzzing as the two men stare eachother down.
King: These two men are the greatest Hardcore champions in WWCF history. The crowd is really buzzing for this one!!!Hoss: But can The General get Smokin Vokoun of the ring? This is a major problem right now.The two men get up close in each others faces. The General yells at Vokoun to get out of the ring so the show can continue. Vokoun just stares daggers into The General. Vokoun then starts to walk away, THEN THROWS A VICIOUS RIGHT HAND TO THE GENERAL!!! The General holds his jaw for a moment. He looks at Vokoun, gives a smile AND THEN CHARGES RIGHT AT HIM!!! The two men start throwing rights and lefts at each other.
Hoss: These are to two best brawlers in the business today going at it. And it's not even a real match!!!!The brawl spills out of the ring and to the floor. Both men are still going at it, with neither of them giving an inch. Just then several wrestlers, backstage crewman, security guards and a SWAT team all come out to try and pull these two men apart.
Hoss: Well King, you said that it would take the National guard to get Smokin Vokoun out of the ring.But right now, it's gonna take the entire United States ARMY to separate these two men!!!King: LET 'EM FIGHT DAMN IT!!!!The swat team grabs both Smokin Vokoun and The General and put them both in handcuffs. The two men try their hardest to get back at each other but the handcuffs and the Swat team won't let them. Vokoun is screaming that he wants to kill The General and The General wants to kill Smokey. The crowd boos loudly because they wanted to see a fight. The two men are removed from the building.
Hoss: Well....finally we might get some control. But I tell you King, this is a side of Smokin Vokoun I've never seen. He's become so frustrated by his own placement that he had to resort to stunt like this to get attention.King: Well it worked. Vokoun knew that this might be the only way to get noticed by the WWCF brass. And I think he got their attention.Hoss: But is it the right kind of attention? That's up in the air. Well up next folks is probably the match that everyone wants to see...THE BATTLE BOWL!!!***
Cut backstage. The camera goes to a scene in a hallway, coming to The Mountain King's dressing room door. Lenore can be seen leaning against the wall looking a little frustrated.
Lenore: "Come on King, you said I could get in there to get ready for your match. I don't know why you always need to lock the door when you know I'm going to be coming."
Shaking her head she resigns herself to turn around as if to walk away but pauses as she bumps into someone off camera. The sound of her purse dropping to the floor.
Lenore: "Oh...I...sorry."
She sounds quiet and takes a few steps back, looking around nervously.
The camera zooms out to show that she's bumped into Connor Mackenzie, sporting his tabard, hood covering his upper face and his tights black in color with crimson red trim for the dragon that seems to be crawling down his leg. Connor looks at her for a moment before bending down and picking the purse up, offering it to her.
Connor Mackenzie: "It's alright. No harm, no foul. You alright?"
Lenore looks like a deer in headlights for a moment before looking hesitantly at the purse that's offered to her.
Lenore: "Umm...thank you..."
Connor nods lightly before noticing something else and picking it up and handing it to her. A book, the cover indicating it to be a Harry Potter book.
Connor: "No problem. Good read by the way. The movie doesn't do it justice."
Lenore blinks finally, pausing before nodding in agreement while putting the book back into her purse. Her eyes remain downcast and looking around as she seems a bit hesitant to make any more small talk or eye contact (as much as can be made with someone wearing a hood).
Connor: "It's Lenore, isn't it?"
Nodding she looks at Connor, maybe a bit surprised at him knowing her name. She offers a shy smile and opens her mouth to say something before the door to TMK's dressing room opens. TMK comes out, looking over Lenore then eyeballing Connor, holding his ground before taking Lenore by the hand and walking away.
Connor stands motionless when TMK stares but turns his head as TMK and Lenore leave, his mouth drawn in a serious look of contemplation.
***
The Battle BowlTH: We're here, King!JK: I can't wait for this to start, TH. I'm pumped. I've waited all day for the Battle Bowl.TH: You and me both, Jesse, and Jerry Fish as well!JF: You got that right, Gorilla. The Battle Bowl is one of the biggest single matches in all of the WWCF, and this year it is bigger than ever!JK: That's right. Normally the Battle Bowl has 10 participants, but this year? We had a draw, we had a double disqualification, and a man won a handicap match to qualify!JF: So that means this Battle Bowl will have 15 participants!JK: And the occasion is marked with a double ring to contain all the action!TH: That's right WWCF Galaxy: It's the Super Battle Bowl!JK: And let's kick things off with Michael Muffer! Take it away!MM: It's time for the Super Battle Bowl! Participants compete in these two rings and must force their opponents over the top exterior ropes. The last remaining participant left in the ring will be your winner and go on to challenge the WWCF World Champion at Gookermania!JK: I know who my horse is in this race, Gorilla...JF: Same here.MM: Now introducing your Battle Bowl participants!*War - Sick Puppies*
*Connor MacKenzie walks down to the ring, his hood drawn over his head.*
JF: This your guy, King?JK: Hell no. My guy's coming up. I want to save it for the suspense.TH: I plan to play it neutral tonight; may the best man win you know.MM: Now entering the ring: Hailing from Halifax, Novia Scotia, Canada and weighing 225lbs, he is "The Canadian Dragon," Connor... MacKenzie!*Connor slides into the ring, then climbs atop a corner and lifts his hood before removing it entirely.*
JK: Oh horse hockey, Hoss! You're just wimping out of placing a bet!JF: I agree. C'mon, Gorilla, pick somebody.MM: And his first opponent...JK: All right, fine. Uh... the next guy.*Pull Me Under - Dream Theater*
*Sparks walks out with Scar on his shoulder as he heads down to the ring.*
JK: Sparks?TH: I said I would pick the very next guy.JF: Sparks did recently challenge for the WWCF Championship, so he might have what it takes.MM: Now entering the ring: Hailing from Sevierville, Tennesse and weighing 220lbs: Sparks!*Sparks walks around ringside and places Scar into a cage before sliding into the ring.*
JK: Of course he doesn't, Fish! He lost that match against Colt. Flash in the pan.TH: Sparks is one of the most consistently underrated wrestlers in WWCF history. He's solid in the ring and solid on the mic - he's a rock.JF: That's a few more accolades than I would give him, but you do cut him down too much, Jesse.JK: I'm just calling it like I see it.MM: Introducing their next opponent...JK: You may as well have picked...*Professional Pirate - Muppet Treasure Island Soundtrack*
JK: ...him. The Mad Pirate Mulligan.TH: Whoa! He's all the way up on the Craptron!*The Mad Pirate Mulligan appears on the top of the Craptron with a long swinging line in his hand...*
JF: Looks like he's gonna swing into the ring from there!*Mulligan swings down to the ring from the Craptron.*
TH: A death defying, swashbuckling move from the Mad Pirate, but will it all be show tonight?JK: Don't count him out. He's not my pick, but he's a part of Whitey, Inc, so he'll be in good company tonight.MM: Now in the ring: Hailing from the High Seas and weighing 265lbs: He is "The Mad Pirate" Mulligan!*Mulligan removes his wire harness as the next entrance theme plays.*
JF: You have a point there, King. They could gang up on everyone until they're the only ones left.*Adrian S.O.S. - Running Wild*
*Ryan Bergman and Johnny Stone walk through the crowd to the ring...*
TH: On the contrary, Fish. Bergman and Stone just captured the Tag Team Championships from the Steampunks last Niteraw.JK: I'd hate to concede, but if they could do that, they might stand a chance. At least until Whitey, Inc tosses them out too. Ha ha!MM: Now entering the ring from Fulton, New York and Calcutta, India by way of Yellow Knife, Canada and weighing 225lbs and 240lbs; your WWCF Tag Team Champions: Ryan Bergman and Johnny... Stone!*Bergman and Stone both slide into the ring.*
TH: Every contestant faces an important starting choice in which ring they begin the Battle Bowl in.JF: And they look as if they're going in together. Good idea.*Man on the Silver Mountain - Rainbow*
JK: Now this is my pick, you two. Evil M!JF: What? After his match with Jonathan Michaels?TH: It was a devastating match for both men, but Evil M still has that narrow shot at getting the last laugh tonight.JK: Last laugh? He'll have a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship, Gorilla! He could win it before JoNo, who isn't even in this Battle Bowl!*Evil M does not come out...*
TH: Evil M has yet to come out.JF: Wanna change your pick, King?JK: No. I will stand my ground. Evil M will come out, just you watch.*The music continues as Evil M still does not come out...*
TH: Well, you can't win 'em all.JK: Oh cram it, Hoss!*Na Na Na Na - My Chemical Romance*
*Gus Richlen walks out with Shaelin Marie O'Hara...*
TH: Could tonight be Richlen's night?JK: Way I see it, Hoss, every night with Shaelin is Richlen's night.TH: She certainly is an attractive young woman.MM: Now entering the ring with his manager Shaelin Marie O'Hara; hailing from Peshtigo, Wisconsin and weighing 185lbs: the "X-Treme Machine..." Gus Richlen!*Gus and Shaelin throw up their fists just outside the double ring before Gus slides into the ring.*
JK: Wait, 185lbs? He easily must be the smallest guy in the Battle Bowl? He'll be crushed!JF: On the other hand, wouldn't that give him an agile advantage?JK: Not when someone throws you ten feet out of the ring.*The Gateway - Groove Addicts*
JK: Especially by a guy like the Punisher!JF: That would be my pick, fellas.*Frank Castle walks out to the ring with his trench coat and bag. He glares at all of his opponents in the ring thus far...*
TH: Frank Castle; the Punisher; a mighty man on a mission. He faced Whitey Fats last Niteraw only to lose. Winning the Battle Bowl gives him a chance to kill two evil birds with one stone at Gookermania.JF: You're telling me. He's probably the most powerful guy in tonight's match, rivaled only by the Boiler Room Brawler.JK: Ahem. And Evil M.TH: But Evil M isn't here.MM: Hailing from New York, New York and weighing 290lbs: He is "The Punisher," Frank... Castle!*Punisher walks up the ring steps and puts his bag down in a corner while removing his trenchcoat.*
JK: Just you wait, guys. He has to heal a bit. He'll be out. Promise.JF: C'mon, King. Just pick a new guy.*No World For Tomorrow - Coheed & Cambria*
JK: Well, if I have to pick a proxy, then ViVA is it.JF: Fair enough.TH: He returned as a reinvented man, but perceived failure after perceived failure pushed Vincent Van Agony over the edge.*Vincent Van Agony charges for the ring...*
JF: Y'know what. he might make a good partner with the Mountain King. They both seem... fed up.JK: That's a creative way to say "ungrateful."MM: The next participant: hailing from Nakatomi HQ and weighing 200lbs: He is Vincent... Van... Agony!TH: Vincent Van Agony, whether fed or ungrateful, is not afraid to speak his mind, and I wouldn't be surprised if he's only out to cause pain tonight until he is eliminated.*ViVA slides into the left ring and bounces against the ropes - really invigorated.*
TH: He does seem revved up tonight - Rearing to go.JF: That's because this is the chance to main event at Gookermania. He might have just enough faith in the system tonight if he can just pull out a win.JK: Doubtful. I think he's going to try to turn his sour grapes into a concoction of cruelty tonight. I'm going with Hoss's idea.MM: And their next opponent...*Virus - KMFDM*
TH: Then there's this man: the Champion of Honor; Ryan Blood...JK: Too small. Next.JF: But he's so agile and full of energy. He's like Gus Richlen except with more weight.JK: And credentials.TH: Flip-flopping, Jesse?*Ryan Blood walks down to the ring, eyeballing the participants.*
JK: Just calling it like I see it.JF: Wait, didn't Richlen dethrone Blood & Stone?JK: ...Not alone...TH: Regardless, if a man like Ryan Blood can hang with Boiler Room Brawler, Evil M...JK: *grumble*TH: ...Damn Right Jackson, or Colt, I think he should do fine tonight, and if Richlen can hang with Blood, then he should be fine too.MM: Now entering the ring: hailing from Baltimore, Maryland and weighing 208lbs: the WWCF Champion of Honor: Ryan... Blood!JK: In any case you two have forgotten, the Championship of Honor involves contestants being disqualified for sending their opponents over the top rope...*Blood slides into the ring.*
JK: Blood is used to wrestling a style that encourages that activity. He's positively doomed in a match where that's the one and only means of elimination.*In the Hall of the Mountain King - Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross*
TH: Moving on, what do you two think of the controversial Mountain King.JK: Blech.JF: Blech.TH: Explain.*The Mountain King walks out with Lenore at his side.*
JK: He's here to disgrace the WWCF Championship. I can't cheer for a man who would do that.JF: The Mountain King is a nihilist who would bring chaos and discord to this company and its stock values.JK: Say what you will about the tenets of Colt's or Drakin's CEO policies, TH, but at least they are ethos.*TMK takes a few puffs on his way down the ramp...*
MM: Now entering the ring and hailing from the Mountain Kingdom: Weighing 235lbs; The Mountain King!TH: Well, the Mountain King is a drug-addled wild man. He will probably be the single least predictable man in the Battle Bowl tonight.*TMK and Lenore walk around to the side of the ring.*
JK: He's unpredictable because he is a green newcomer.JF: I think he'll get some favors from Vincent Van Agony.JK: You're kidding, right?*TMK takes one last puff before scrapping his cigarette and climbing into the ring.*
JK: ViVA complains because he cares; because he sees a broken system that needs repairs, not destruction. ViVA and The Mountain King may as well be night and day.TH: Or a good rock band name.*Circus Envy - REM*
TH: But then there's the Interforums Champion: Caleb Fourchon.JK: He is backed by the best money in this company - Whitey Fats's money.JF: He tore house last year, but he is arguably better now than he was then.*Caleb Fourchon walks to the ring, observing all of the gathered opponents thus far...*
JK: He's also arguably the Numero Dos Man in the WWCF, right after the WWCF Champion.MM: Now entering the ring from Dulac, Louisiana and weighing 255lbs: your WWCF Interforums Champion: Caleb... Fourchon!TH: Caleb Fourchon has had quite the career in the WWCF, even challenging DR Jackson for the WWCF Title last year. This is his chance to get another shot for the belt.*Fourchon leaps under the bottom rope of the ring and rolls to his feet. He lacks the room to do a lap, so he settles into a corner and rests upon his haunches.*
JK: I think that Caleb is a solid hitter, but I will stand by my pick of ViVA. Well, at least in place of Evil M.JF: He ain't coming out, King. ViVA's your pick now.*King Kong 2004 Theme*
TH: Caleb may be the Interforums Champion, but what about the Hardcore Champion?JF: I think that the General of the Monkey Army offers an unpredictable style like the Mountain King but with that touch of veteranship.JK: So much stock in "unpredictability..."*The General of the Monkey Army walks out with the Wind-Up Monkey. He sternly observes his opponents and seems to have a mini-pow wow with the Wind-Up Monkey as he heads to the ring...*
TH: The General certainly is off his rocker, but can he translate that into a Battle Bowl victory?JK: The man talks to a wind-up monkey...MM: Entering the ring now with his manager the Wind-Up Monkey: Hailing from Lansing, Michigan and weighing 230lbs: He is your WWCF Hardcore Champion: The General... of the Monkey... Army!JF: Hey, whatever floats his banana boat...TH: Strangely enough, he isn't hawking anything tonight.*The General sets the Wind-Up Monkey down away from Scar's cage and then slides into the ring. He takes off his WWCF Hardcore Championship Belt and holds it up before handing it off to officials.*
TH: That said, he is the Hardcore Champion and has been for months and months. The General is a tested and proven tough SOB, and that is vital to make it to the end of the Battle Bowl.*Rigorous Vengeance - Municipal Waste*
JF: We're down to our next to last participant, and what a participant to come out.*Boiler Room Brawler walks out with his pipe wrench over one shoulder and his WWCF Tag Team Championship Belt over his other shoulder...*
TH: Boiler Room Brawler is on fire tonight after his sensational showing of the Boiler Plaza with Sarah Nakatomi.JF: He vowed to eliminate everyone who didn't attend-JK: That is just irrational. Not everyone can make it and not everyone wanted to make it onto that segment just to stroke BRB's ego.TH: But Boiler Room Brawler held that special Boiler Plaza to allow everyone else's voice to be heard.MM: Entering the ring now: hailing from Rockford, Illinois and weighing 330lbs: Boiler... Room... Brawler!JK: Brawler held it to stroke his own ego, assuming that Nakatomi hussy doesn't stroke it too.TH: Jesse King!JK: That's my name.JF: ...So Brawler brought his pipe wrench.*BRB walks around the ring to put his pipe wrench down. He walks up the ring steps and crosses the ropes, swinging his arms in anticipation.*
TH: You would accuse a newly married woman of extramarital relations, especially after her husband fought so recently for her?JK: All I'm saying is that the Boiler Plaza has Boiler Room Brawler and Sarah Nakatomi; no JoNo to be seen.MM: And now, their final opponent...*All Over Me - Drowning Pool*
*Seth Drakin walks out, scowling at all of his opponents...*
JF: Well, moving on, we come to our former boss and this is his chance to get a shot against his final target.TH: Seth Drakin's path of vengeance has brought him to this match. He's cruel and he shows no mercy.JK: I hope he gets an I4I of his own, and even if he wins, I hope that it's Whitey who's there to greet him at Gookermania.MM: Hailing from Stafford, Virginia. Weighing 270lbs: He is... "The Archangel" Seth... Drakin!JF: Seth Drakin is determined, but can he stick it out through fourteen other men? Every champion besides the WWCF World Champion is in the Battle Bowl tonight.TH: Speaking of which, even if Whitey wins the WWCF championship, who says Colt won't issue a rematch challenge at Gookermania?*Drakin walks up the ring steps and crosses the ropes into the ring.*
JK: I know I would. The championship might not last, but the glory of Gookermania is eternal.TH: Tonight we have every WWCF Official surrounding the ring - Verne Johnson, John Creed, Lloyd McFloyd, Will Alphonzo, and Jake Kwon - all there to ensure that eliminations are fair.JF: So just to review: Gorilla - you picked Sparks?TH: Yes.JF: And you pick Van Agony, King?JK: No. I picked Evil M. Van Agony is my substitute since Evil M hasn't come out.JF: Right. Van Agony. And I picked the Punisher.TH: We're moments away now...MM: And now... Let's get ready to Battle!!!*The ring erupts into a storm of punches, kicks, and grapples.*
TH: And what a battle it is right out of the gate!*ViVA and Mulligan exchange glances and clasp hands, but The Punisher takes both of them down with a double clothesline.*
JF: Punisher with a double clothesline. That's my dog!*Drakin exchanges blows with Stone. The General locks arms with Bergman.*
TH: Seth Drakin goes straight for Pantheon remnant Johnny Stone.JK: And his partner is tangled with the General. Ha!*TMK grabs onto Connor's face and headbutts him away. Blood grabs TMK from behind and takes him down with a bulldog.*
TH: Ryan Blood with a bulldog to the Mountain King.*BRB takes Sparks down with a running body splash, but Caleb follows it up with an axe handle smash to BRB's back.*
JF: BRB is large and in charge tonight-JK: But Caleb Fourchon is there to keep him in check.*Blood holds onto TMK's head and jerks him backwards for Connor and Richlen to each dropkick TMK in the face.*
TH: Two dropkicks to the Mountain King's face!JF: That's gotta hurt, Hoss.JK: I told you both that the Mountain King doesn't stand a chance with his goals.*Drakin whips Stone to the ropes. The General whips Bergman. Bergman and Stone collide.*
JK: Ha! A tag team united.TH: If they're smart, they'll work together.JK: If they're smart and able to BRB, Seth, and Richlen all remember losing to these two just a week ago.*The Punisher grabs ViVA and gorilla presses him...*
JF: Punisher with a gorilla press to Vincent Van Agony!JK: Get out of there, ViVA!*Mulligan gets up and spears Punisher back down to the mat. ViVA lands on his feet and stomps on Punisher.*
TH: And a save from a fellow Whitey, Inc employee.*BRB stands up as Caleb hammers his fist down on BRB's back again. Sparks gets up and punches BRB in the midsection.*
TH: Boiler Room Brawler facing double trouble tonight.JK: It's the prudent thing to do. Brawler's the biggest man in that ring tonight, making him a prime target.*ViVA jumps up and fist drops the Punisher straight to the sternum.*
TH: Vincent Van Agony going to town on the Punisher now.*Mulligan grabs one of the Punisher's legs and attempts a single leg Boston crab, but Punisher kicks him away and stands up.*
JF: Yeah, but Frank can handle himself just fine.