Steveweiser
Dalek
Mickie Mickie You're So Fine... Hey Mickie!
THE GRAPS
Posts: 50,249
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Post by Steveweiser on Apr 3, 2012 10:27:32 GMT -5
4/3/2012: Hello all, Your trusty Director of Fun, Wink Vavasseur, here again! Before I begin, I just want to state for the record that I don't like using these blog posts to directly address other blog posts. This should be a place to let the fans know about exciting updates and giving fans unprecedented access into the thoughts and insights of our talented roster of wrestlers. It's bad enough that personal emotions and grievances bleed into what should simply be entertaining wrestling matches; this blogging back-and-forth is tantamount to in-fighting, and the fans shouldn't be witness to it. Intra-company complaints should be kept to intra-office memos, not splattered across the worldwide web for all to see. There's a reason I have those suggestion boxes in the locker rooms. That's right, I'm talking about a recent blog post by one Derek Sabato. The former CHIKARA "referee" had been inundating my sundry inboxes with his voicemails, e-mails and tweets, variously begging, pleading, whimpering, cajoling, demanding, and outright bribing me. Now, he's figuring the way to get what he wants is to buddy up to ol' Wink and offer his services as an ombudsman. I may not have pitch-perfect hearing, but I've been around the block long enough to recognize the dulcet tones of a snake charmer when I hear them. No thanks, "pal." I'd be a fool to let someone like Derek Sabato sully the good name of Vavasseur. Good day, sir. I believe I said 'good day!' ![](http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7214/7028912335_6e37784fda_z.jpg) The next order of business: CANADA!! As you all should be well aware, your beloved CHIKARA finally made its debut in the Great White North and it went off without a hitch! Well, there were a few hitches, but they didn't ruin anything! Okay, actually, those hitches ruined a few things, but I can't let that spoil the tremendous support, enthusiasm and hospitality shown to us by our terrific Canadian fans! We are pleased to announce that you've enticed us to return to your great country on June 23rd in Strathroy, Ontario! "Ain't nothin' gonna stop us now!" Especially not… Okay. Yeah. So, you may have heard. Let's get right down to it. While we were in Canada, the GEKIDO made a royal mounted mess of things that I'm still in the process of cleaning up. They did more than hitch; they downright crossed lines. These are lines that can't be uncrossed, and I'm just up to my neck trying to deal with the aftermath of all this. They seriously injured Mike "Master of a Thousand Holds" Quackenbush and tore the mask off Green Ant's face. Backstage, they beat up Los Ice Creams and, while my Spanish is rusty at best, those Ice Cream guys were clearly furious. I'm honestly not sure we'll be able to get them back. Back in February, I told the ARMY o' CHIKARA and all of the athletes that this kind of chaos would be remedied, and I took steps to make it so. Do I have to requisition even more security to post behind the curtain just so the Ice Cream fellows don't get pummeled whenever GEKIDO shows up? I may blog softly, but I carry a big nightstick. Speaking both figuratively and literally, I wear much too nice of a suit to be getting this muck all over me. I need somebody to clean up this garbage, a low man on the totem pole, and Derek Sabato, you know I've always thought of your status as being just barely above that of a common trash man (and not the respectable family man kind, like Charles S. Dutton's character of "Roc;" the dirty kind with poor social skills.) You deal with these trouble-makers. Get a leash on them, stat. You're the official go-between, the liaison to the GEKIDO. Should you consider this retribution for trying to sneak your way into my good graces, Sabato? Well, I'm not going to tell you how to think, but you know what this is. Also, stop tweeting me all the time. WV![](http://www.chikarapro.com/images/wink-head.jpg)
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Johnny B. Decent
Patti Mayonnaise
Had one once
Everybody's Favorite Arizonian.
Posts: 31,094
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on Apr 3, 2012 12:05:06 GMT -5
So, no but yes.
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Post by Djm Doesn't Find You Funny on Apr 3, 2012 15:01:10 GMT -5
Wink gained a few points with me for referencing Roc.
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Steveweiser
Dalek
Mickie Mickie You're So Fine... Hey Mickie!
THE GRAPS
Posts: 50,249
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Post by Steveweiser on Apr 3, 2012 17:23:13 GMT -5
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Post by mcmahonfan85 on Apr 3, 2012 19:06:00 GMT -5
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Chainsaw
T
A very BAD man.
It is what it is
Posts: 90,480
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Post by Chainsaw on Apr 4, 2012 0:39:29 GMT -5
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Post by Spankymac is sick of the swiss on Apr 4, 2012 7:22:01 GMT -5
Just added to the "Contaminated Cowl" show: ![](http://www.chikarapro.com/images/TBCC.jpg) And a new blog from UMB: 4/4/2012: It seems that the Great & Devious UltraMantis Black has a penchant for making enemies as of late. Quite frankly, the accumulation of enemies is nothing new to me. However it is usually I who is the instigator, the hellion, the agent provocateur. Instead, I have been the one who has been attacked from every side, from every angle, and in every match since the year 2012 commenced. First Delirious, and now Ophidian. They have both made a very powerful and angry enemy in UltraMantis Black. ![](http://www.chikarapro.com/images/InOttawa.jpg) Ophidian - you have not simply made me angry, you have infuriated me to the point where my ire has been raised to a blood boiling feverpitch. You, young naive, dared to steal from me. The staff you absconded with is a tool quite special to me - did you really think you could just usurp it from my control and walk away? You know not who you are dealing with. You know not of my power. When you decided to cross the most devious being in all of CHIKARA, you effectively terminated your right to walk freely and autonomously on this Earth. I'm coming for you in Rahway, Ophidian. Your expeditious destruction will be simply a preparatory exercise for the all-consuming hellfire I plan to rain down on Delirious. You have made a fatal error my friend... UMB
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Steveweiser
Dalek
Mickie Mickie You're So Fine... Hey Mickie!
THE GRAPS
Posts: 50,249
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Post by Steveweiser on Apr 4, 2012 7:33:10 GMT -5
The team of QT Marshall and Jack Bonza have been added to the four way elimination tag in Rahway. Marshall is a local Jersey worker, Bonza is an Australian wrestler on tour.
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Steveweiser
Dalek
Mickie Mickie You're So Fine... Hey Mickie!
THE GRAPS
Posts: 50,249
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Post by Steveweiser on Apr 4, 2012 7:54:04 GMT -5
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Post by mjolnir on Apr 4, 2012 16:11:04 GMT -5
Sin Cara?! ![:o](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/shocked.png)
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Apr 4, 2012 16:38:08 GMT -5
After that cheesy package it's more like Who Caras?
*Looks for a high five*
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Post by mjolnir on Apr 4, 2012 17:06:50 GMT -5
After that cheesy package it's more like Who Caras? *Looks for a high five* /dives off turnbuckle for a coast to coast high-five/ Hi-hoo!
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Post by mcmahonfan85 on Apr 4, 2012 19:48:07 GMT -5
After that cheesy package it's more like Who Caras? *Looks for a high five* ![](http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y6/FantismalSpider/Illustrations/highfive.jpg)
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kidkamikaze10
Dennis Stamp
Trying to think of a new avatar
Posts: 4,299
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Post by kidkamikaze10 on Apr 4, 2012 22:53:07 GMT -5
Yeah, compared to what Samurai Del Sol is doing at CZW...
Uh, that guy looks like he's lacking.
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Post by Spankymac is sick of the swiss on Apr 4, 2012 22:54:27 GMT -5
Yeah, dude just screams "generic luchador". Hopefully the fix that, or prove me wrong, but that was NOT an enticing video.
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Post by mcmahonfan85 on Apr 5, 2012 1:34:02 GMT -5
Yeah, dude just screams "generic luchador". dude, ixnay the enericgay uchadorlay {Spoiler} ![](http://getlostphotography.smugmug.com/Other/2010-12-18-ROH-/DPP1231/1133886910_TCiBG-O-1.jpg) he gets very upset when you compare him to someone like...like...well, like that
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Steveweiser
Dalek
Mickie Mickie You're So Fine... Hey Mickie!
THE GRAPS
Posts: 50,249
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Post by Steveweiser on Apr 5, 2012 7:23:47 GMT -5
![](http://www.chikarapro.com/images/UMBO.jpg) Confirmed for Rahway.
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Steveweiser
Dalek
Mickie Mickie You're So Fine... Hey Mickie!
THE GRAPS
Posts: 50,249
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Post by Steveweiser on Apr 5, 2012 7:24:59 GMT -5
Latest Rahway preview, featuring Veronica and Mr. Touchdown.
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Steveweiser
Dalek
Mickie Mickie You're So Fine... Hey Mickie!
THE GRAPS
Posts: 50,249
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Post by Steveweiser on Apr 5, 2012 7:31:18 GMT -5
4/5/2012: Everyone knows the Super Bowl -- the annual event in which the industry's very best gather to showcase their lifelong-honed talents before a worldwide audience. What people do not realize, however, is that, both before and after these magnificent athletes march to their best routines playing their hearts out, savage hordes in garish armor clamor about violently in pursuit of a ball of pig's skin. They call this perverse dog-and-pony show "football." Never heard of it? Nor had I...until high school. We were rehearsing what would be an award-winning routine of my own composition titled "Rocky Mountain Hi-Hat." It was a tribute to the late John Denver, punctuated by a stunning and groundbreaking visual in which my band would march atop one another to create a literal mountain of men before I, adorned with wings made of cymbals, would glide forth from its people-peak like a begilded bald eagle and disappear into the horizon amid a cacophony of applause. As I leapt from the Homo sapiens summit with the same nervousness and excitement Orville Wright must have felt in his maiden flight, I knew both my prodigious career and I would meet abrupt and premature ends...or soar to new heights. Fate, of course, made her choice. I was surveying the world of the terrestrial alongside my winged brethren when I eyed the oddest of spectacles taking place on the marching field. There, in rudimentary formation, were bodies mindlessly colliding against one another. Naturally, I landed my percussive craft to investigate and learned what all the broad-chinned, bulging-biceped dweebs did after school while the cool kids and I marched. They called it "football" (for reasons beyond me, as I never once saw a foot touch the pecan-shaped non-ball) and its practitioners had even integrated the lines on the marching field into the rhythm of their brutish dance. Part of me had a mind to pick on these misguided losers; another part of me craved the chimichangas I had caught a waft of only moments before (the same aroma would later lure me to Monterrey where I would briefly masquerade as "El Bandolero.") The latter won out -- a decision I would come to regret when, not long after, my debut performance of "Get Outta' My Dreams, Get Into My Choir" was interrupted by the same gaggle of geeks crashing through a banner and onto our field. It was the beginning of a disconcerting pattern. I continued running into these barbarian dorks, particularly their apparent warlord -- a certain Mark Angelosetti. While well-intentioned, he was practically stalking me. No social graces, this guy. Every chance he got, he would grab my waistband and pull it as high as he could with an almost obsessive desire to help keep my pants from falling down. Rather than see me trampled by the hallways' masses, he would help me along into my locker and out of harm's way, even when I did not ask for such assistance. But it did not get really disturbing until he began emulating me. After I declined the Captain of the Cheerleading Squad's invitation to Prom, he decided to take her - like a desperate puppy picking up the Alpha Dog's scraps. That is why I was none too surprised when I saw the so-called "Mr. Touchdown" show up on my new home field, CHIKARA. And none too surprised when he began pining after Veronica following our mutual decision to pursue other professional interests. He wants to be a pro-wrestler like me, and he wants to avail himself of Veronica Ticklefeather's managerial services like me. I mean, he is totally not her type of managerial prospect and I am sure he will find that out the hard way...but I digress. There was a time in my life in which pro-wrestling was my passion but something about testosterone-fueled animals with masculinity complexes punching each other in the face ad nauseum no longer appeals to me. If Angelosetti wants professional wrestling, then he can have it. Seems like a great place for a ruffian like him. Now that I am flying solo, I feel the same freedom as the eagle I portrayed in "Rocky Mountain Hi-Hat." It is time for me to pursue that grand craft I have long admired and studied as a child -- the art that I would wake up early, and stay up late, to see splashed across the canvas by modern masters. On 14 March, Mark Angelosetti will not look across the ring to find the familiarly macho Marchie Archie. For the first time ever, at "I'll Be A Mummy's Uncle," he will meet...Mixed Martial Archie. AP![](http://www.chikarapro.com/images/archibald-head.jpg)
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Steveweiser
Dalek
Mickie Mickie You're So Fine... Hey Mickie!
THE GRAPS
Posts: 50,249
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Post by Steveweiser on Apr 5, 2012 7:46:01 GMT -5
Veronica Ticklefeather...
MIXED MARTIAL ARCHIE~!
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