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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on May 22, 2012 19:47:41 GMT -5
[shadow=red,left,300]NITERAW[/shadow] The Sam: Welcome everybody to another exciting edition of FAWA Niteraw. The Money in the Bank or Botch Qualifying matches continue as Summerfest approaches, and things are only getting hotter in the Parts Unknown Arena. I’m your General Manager The Sam and with me as always is your FAWA Commissioner and your Freakin’ Awesome Champion himself: Vincent Van Agony.Viva: Great to be here as always, Sam. I’m not feeling nervous yet. That’s for guys who lose, like Connor Mackenzie, or Jeremy Dupoe, or “Lord” Brian Alexander. The Sam: But they won their way into the Freakin’ Awesome Title Shot Elevated Scaff-Viva: Such a mouthful, Sammy. Any one of them might win that title shot for my Freakin’ Awesome Championship, but they have another thing coming if they think they can cash it in and take it away from me. The Sam: Tonight also sees Mr. Potato squaring off against “Hollywood’s Own” Michael Hayden to determine a brand new Television Champion. Viva: Sounds like an exciting night, so let’s get…*Wake Up by Rage Against The Machine starts and The World Heavyweight Champion Frank Castle makes his way to the ring. A mixed reaction greets the champion as he grabs a mic from the announce table and gets into the ring.* "I've been hearing a lot of talk from Ryan Blood about how he's going to beat this old man to within an inch of his life at Summerfest. I've been hearing a lot of talk about how I'm at the end of the road, I'm nearly finished, I'm just a footnote now, I should let younger men like him take over and shine.
"You know something Ryan, I'll let you in on a little secret. For a long time now, I've been believing it myself. I didn't think I could go any further, I thought my time was nigh. But Ryan, I've got a lot to thank you for.
"You might be wondering what I'm talking about. Thing is Ryan, you've made me believe again, made me believe I don't want to give this (hefts title on his shoulder) up, to some snot nosed little brat like you.
"So you want a fight at Summerfest? You want to beat me to within an inch of my life, you want to take me apart? That's fine kid, you bring it, cos I've got it right here waiting for you. *"Love Is Not Enough" by NIN hits and the Parts Unknown Arena boos the hell out of Ryan Blood as he walks out from the back, down to the ring with Castle, grabbing a mic of his own on the way* "Snot-nosed little brat", huh? Lame.
Here's the thing, Frankie: I've already beat you to within an inch of your life. The difference is that this time when I do it, you aren't gonna reciprocate.
I am going to kick your ass all over again, and I'm gonna prove that I don't need to rely on letter openers, or lighter fluid, or pipes, or anything else to do it! I am going to pin you or choke you out, and I am going to take that World Heavyweight Championship belt that I deserve!
In the past I've gotten close. I outlasted four other challengers in the Thunderdome and almost took it from Colt, but he was able to get the better of me. I made to the finals of the tournament to crown a new champion after the title was vacated by Whitey Fats, defeating everybody in my path except for Jonathan Michaels, who won it. And then, in our last match, I had you beat! You know damn well I did, because you could feel it! If I hadn't made that one mistake of trying to throw you through those glass doors, if I had locked on the Krayt Dragon instead, you would have been finished, Castle!
I am damn f***ing good, TOO good to lose a fourth match for that title! I promise you, Castle: at Summerfest, your reign as champion ENDS!!!Viva: Is BRB turning over a new leaf? The Sam: Maybe he’s a Pod Person. Viva: Do you think anyone in the FAWA Galaxy would get that reference? The Sam: Of course they would. That movie only came out in the 50s. Viva: Well, I guess there was a remake in the 70s. Come to think of it, probably at least one of our commercials does too.
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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on May 22, 2012 19:50:17 GMT -5
[shadow=red,left,300]NITERAW[/shadow] Michael Muffer: The following contest is a triple threat tag match!THE SAM: Featuring none other than two boys who are gonna go far in this business, the Badd Bros!VIVA: Of course they will, Sammy. Of course they will.*Iron Man by Black Sabbath plays,The General and Vokoun enter* VIVA: Two of the toughest guys you'll ever meet. And one of the weirdest in the General.THE SAM: I don't think he's so weird.VIVA: Well, obviously you wouldn't think that...*Blood Red Sand Man plays and Coventrey and Nett enter* THE SAM: Now these guys are unhinged!VIVA: You know what would be great? If Gus and his skank were locked up with Coventry in that asylum and if nobody ever let them out again. All three of them are certifiable by now, and all three of them have always been annoying.* Finally the Badd Brothers enter and the bell rings* THE SAM: My picks to win it, and they'll do so by drawing on my extensive wisdom! GO BADDS!VIVA: Of course they will, Sammy. Of course they will.THE SAM: Hey, are you patronizing me?!VIVA: Of course I am.THE SAM: Well, stop it.*Vokoun and Joey start and Vokoun arm drags him to the mat* VIVA: Japanese arm drag by Smokey!THE SAM: He should save that for Japanese people like Mr. Potato, and use American arm drags on Americans like Joey!VIVA: So...what, I guess you think he should only German suplex Germans, too?THE SAM: Yes.VIVA: But why--actually, screw it, why am I even asking you to explain stupid shit like this?!*Nett tags in and nails a haymaker on Vokoun that sends him out of the ring! Nett runs off the ropes and gets a Thesz press on Joey. He covers for 2* THE SAM: Joey Badd, exhibiting unpinnability of Goldbergian proportions! You need a taser to beat this man!VIVA: No you don't! He's gotten pinned plenty of times without a taser!THE SAM: You're so naive, Vincent. I know for a fact that he was tased every single one of those times without anybody but me noticing.*Nett tags in Coventry who nails an elbow strike to the jaw, followed by a throat thrust! Just as he's going for a scoop slam on Joey Badd, though, Vokoun gets back in the ring and nails a lariat! Smokey tags in The General! The General nails a DDT on Coventry, and then a spinebuster! He goes for a cover, but the Badd Brothers break it up at 2 with stereo leg drops on him! Joey tags out to Jake* THE SAM: And here comes Jake Badd! You need TWO tasers to beat THIS man!VIVA: No you don't! You're making me actually wish Hoss or King was calling this instead! Stop making me wish that!*Jake nails a huge dropkick on Coventry followed by a vertical suplex to the General, and covers for 2* THE SAM: Look at Jake go!*The General's whipped into the corner as Jake follows him in and starts hitting him with repeated uppercuts, but a recovered Marshall Wesley Coventry charges at him from behind and blasts him with a forearm to the back of the head, dazing him enough that Coventry is able to pick him up and drop him with a Snake Eyes, only instead of his face hitting the turnbuckle it hits the General, who is still propped up in the corner!* VIVA: Okay, I hate to praise Coventry, but that was an awesome move! He dropped your boy Jake headfirst onto the General's head!THE SAM: He can't do that to the head of Jake Badd! How dare he?!VIVA: No sympathy for the General's head, huh?THE SAM: No, none whatsoever.*Coventry tags in Nett, and the two inmates put both the General and Jake down with swinging neckbreakers before Coventry gets out of the ring at the ref's insistence. Nett covers Jake, gets 2. He goes for a powerbomb on the General, but gets backdropped! The General lunges for the tag and Smokin' Vokoun is in! He hits a bulldog on Mario Nett! Bionic elbow to a charging Jake Badd! Pulling piledriver to Nett!* VIVA: You'd never know that the Smokin' Vokoun got beat up by two guys last week, because he's cleaning house right now!*Smokey grabs Jake and catches him in the Chicago Claw! But before Jake can tap out or pass out, Joey's in to make the save with a double axe handle to Vokoun! He throws Smokey out of the ring and then gets thrown out himself by Mario Nett!* VIVA: People really don't want him in the ring, do they? Can't say I blame 'em.THE SAM: C'mon Jake, you can fight out of this!*Nett hits Jake with a Tiger Bomb and then tags in Coventry, who goes for the Mental Lapse, but somehow Jake squirms free and drops behind Coventry to lock on a sleeper!* THE SAM: YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!*A weary Jake keeps the sleeper locked on as he drags the struggling Coventry over to his corner, where he tags in Joey. Joey's in to the ring to pick up where his brother left off, locking on a sleeper of his own! What neither brother sees, though, is that Smokin' Vokoun has rolled back into the ring in his corner and tagged in the General! General's in--he knocks Jake off the apron and blasts Joey in the face with the MONKEY'S PAW! As the General goes for the cover on Joey, Nett runs in to make the save but finds Smokey in his way and the two of them start brawling as the ref counts 1, 2, 3!* THE SAM: NONONONONONONO!Michael Muffer: Here are your winners, THE GENERAL OF THE MONKEY ARMY & SMOKIN' VOKOUN!VIVA: The General picks up the win with the Monkey's Paw and, despite what The Sam might tell you, there was NO tasing involved.THE SAM: LIIIIEEEESSSS!
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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on May 22, 2012 19:50:36 GMT -5
[shadow=red,left,300]NITERAW[/shadow] MM: The following contest is an “InterForum Title Shot on a Pole” Qualifying Match for Summer Fest! Coming out first, accompanied by Bruno the Wonder Dog, from Dulac, Louisiana, and weighing 252 pounds: Caleb Fourchon!The Sam: Welcome back, FAWA Galaxy. The following match promises to be a doozie…Viva: How can it not be, Sammy? It has everything: Smurfs, Cajuns, dogs, and Blind People! *Bernard Herrmann’s “Cape Fear Suite” plays as Caleb is lead down the ramp by his guide dog. He deliberately walks up the steel steps and passes between the ring ropes while Bruno leaps onto the apron outside.* The Sam: Caleb Fourchon just hasn’t been the same since “Lord” Brian Alexander splashed a cup of urine straight to his eyes. Viva: Caleb Fourchon – he’s like the “Two-Face” of the FAWA when you get right down to it. Except smellier.*”Highway to the Danger Zone” by Kenny Loggins reverberates throughout the Parts Unknown Arena. M appears on stage, a stunner draped over each arm. They make their way to the ring…* MM: And his opponent, accompanied by two of his latest conquests, from Rockland, Massachusetts, and weighing 287 pounds: “Big sMurfy” Evil M!The Sam: Look at Evil M! He’s looking in great shape! Viva: Sorry The, I was looking at his “conquests.” The Sam: But can you imagine what kind of discipline, what kind of drive it must take to get in that kind of shape? The man normally walks around at 300 or more pounds! Viva: Smurfin’ ain’t easy, Sam. *Once inside, Evil M removes his sunglasses and feigns tossing them to the fans before handing them and his leather jacket off to his escorts.* Viva: Referee Will Alphonzo wants a good match tonight. Hopefully a giant smurf and a blind Cajun can deliver on the goods. *Referee Will Alphonzo calls both men to the middle of the ring. He gives instructions and motions for the timekeeper to ring the bell. Evil M lifts up his arm to initiate a test of strength challenge which Caleb blithely no sells…* Viva: Evil M not quite thinking his cunning plan through…*After a few awkward seconds “Big sMurfy” shrugs, gives his opponent the “You Can’t See Me” taunt, and kicks him in the gut.* The Sam: Evil M with a kick to the gut to a blind man! Has he no shame? *Standing side headlock by M, which he uses to drag Fourchon to the corner. M flings Caleb into the ringpost. The big man tries to follow that up with a hard elbow, but is deterred by a mule kick from Fourchon. * Viva: Caleb Fourchon on the defense! Mule Kick! *Caleb springboards off the second rope and vaults over M, trying for a sunset flip pin. One! Two! Evil M powers out.* The Sam: What the? How did he do that? Viva: Muscle memory, Sam. You probably don’t have any though. *The two men stand and lock up. Evil M outmuscles Fourchon and drives him back into the opposite corner. He knees the Cajun Crippler repeatedly in the chest and stomach before taking his right arm and wrapping it around the turnbuckle, twisting it into a painful looking configuration.* Viva: I have to admit: this is like watching a man wrestle a bear, but kind of in reverse. And this is for the Interforums Title Shot on a Pole at Summerslam…The Sam: Say, don’t you still have that Cham-Viva: Of course not, Sam. Of course not. *Alphonzo orders M to get out of the corner, a demand “Big sMurfy” ignores. The ref begins a DQ count. One! Two! Three! Four! M releases the hold and then immediately Biels Fourchon across the ring.* Viva: Evil M stretching the rules. I like his style. The Sam: Rules are rules, up to and including their limits. *Evil M pursues and stomps on Caleb, again targeting the right arm. Finally Evil M drops down and puts his opponent in a wristlock with leg grapevine submission.* The Sam: Caleb Fourchon should just give it up. He probably has no idea what holds he’s being put into by Evil M. *Caleb howls in pain from the hold. Bruno trots around the apron’s perimeter until he’s as close as he can be to the wrestlers without entering the ring and begins to bark loudly. * The Sam: Would someone get rid of that damn mutt? Viva: Caleb’s got fighting spirit, I’ll give him that. *Using his free arm, Fourchon slowly drags himself and “Big sMurfy” in the direction of the noise.* The Sam: Hey, is Caleb using Bruno’s barks as a beacon? Viva: Pretty ingenious if you ask me. The Sam: He’s receiving outside assistance! Eject that mutt from ringside Alphonzo!*After a long, arduous trek Caleb reaches out to search frantically for the bottom rope. He eventually is able to grab it, and Alphonzo tells Evil M to break the hold.* Viva: Caleb makes the rope. Time to let it go, M. *”Big sMurfy” rises and shouts something at Bruno, who responds by raising his hackles and growling. M steps back but immediately turns on the ref, whom he begins arguing with, pointing back at the dog for emphasis.* The Sam: Yeah. Yeah. You tell Alphonzo how to run that match. That dog has no business being anywhere near this ring, much less unfairly assisting Caleb Fourchon. Viva: Maybe Evil M should get to have one too. The Sam: I say “why not?” *Meanwhile, Caleb has pulled himself up with help from the ropes using his good arm.* Viva: But Evil M has plenty of gas left in the tank, plus eyesight, and Caleb’s arm is worse for wear. *Evil M charges to attack, but a warning bark from Bruno allows Fourchon to duck down. He grabs the top rope as he does, which leads to Evil M toppling out of the ring and landing face first on the outside. Caleb stumbles away from the apron and falls to the canvass, clutching his wounded arm.* The Sam: See? Caleb wouldn’t have known without that mangy mutt to make a warning bark! Viva: Caleb must have practiced this. Evil M is certainly not ready for this bizarre style. *After checking on Fourchon, Alphonzo moves to the ropes. Evil M is slowly rising to his hands and knees. Bruno drops down off the apron and begins barking at the hardcore legend.* The Sam: And now the dog is taunting “Big sMurfy!” Get your head in the game, Alphonzo! *The ref starts a count out. One! Two! Three! Evil M yells at the dog and makes shooing gestures towards it.* Viva: Maybe he could bark back at Bruno. I’d be terrified of him then. *Four! Five! Caleb lurches to his feet and makes his way to the apron. Six! Seven! “Big sMurfy”, a wary eye on Bruno, backs his way towards the ring. He rolls inside without checking, and is immediately greeted by a rope assisted jumping knee drop to the kidneys.* Viva: A vicious kick to the kidneys! Caleb Fourchon won’t go down without a fight, even if he doesn’t know where his opponent is! The Sam: Caleb is being dishonorable though! Big sMurfy couldn’t enter the ring in peace.*Alphonzo chastises Caleb for not allowing Evil M to enter the ring cleanly, but steps away as the Cajun Crippler grabs onto his opponent’s arms and legs and flips him across his knees for a bow and arrow hold.* The Sam: And Caleb just continues his blind assault on “Big sMurfy.” He’s lost more than his sight. He’s lost his honor! Viva: But he still has vision, Sam. *Evil M flails and curses as his spine is torqued in a manner Mother Nature did not intend, but shakes his head when the ref asks if he submits.* The Sam: You’re not going to submit to a blind man, are you, M? Viva: What? If he has him, he has him. *Finally, M shifts his weight in a way that pins Caleb’s shoulders to the mat…* The Sam: Yes, M with a reversal!*One! Two! Fourchon releases the hold and squirms free...* Viva: Close but no cigar. *Both men lay sprawled on the canvass, clutching their afflicted body parts (their own, obviously; not each other’s).* Viva: They’re both injured, and Caleb Fourchon must be putting at least twice the effort into this match than Evil M originally intended to put in himself. *The two wrestlers slowly, painfully, manage to rise. “Big sMurfy” charges and hits a shoulder block.* Viva: Evil M throwing his weight around now, but Caleb remains on his feet…*When Fourchon is staggered M unloads a barrage of haymakers…* The Sam: Look at those punches, Viva. How does Caleb Fourchon stay on feet he can’t even see? Viva: He’s still reeling from the impact of each blow though. *The ref warns Evil M about using a closed fist but is waved off. The next blow puts Caleb on his knees and between the ropes.* The Sam: And there goes the blind one. Viva: Wait, not quite…*Evil M stomps over and uses his leg to jam his opponent’s throat into the rope…* Viva: Evil M sure isn’t happey about all the work it’s taking to beat a blind man. *Alphonso warns M again. Bruno leaps onto the apron and snarls.* The Sam: Nice doggy. Does he have foam on his lips? I think I see foam! Viva: It’s just slobber, Sam. Nothing I’ve never seen on you during dinner when Great Warrior doesn’t chew his food. *With a frown, Evil M moves away, but grabs Fourchon by the leg and drags him to the middle of the ring. He locks the crossface onto Caleb’s right arm. * The Sam: Crossface! Crossface to Fourchon! Crossface to Fourchon! Viva: Can he get through this one for the win? Will Evil M advance to the Money in the Bank or Botch on a Pole match? *Fourchon, out of gas, wearily taps.* The Sam: Yes! Yes! Fourchon tapped! Fourchon tapped!
MM: Here is your winner by submission: Evil M!
Viva: He fought valiantly, but Caleb Fourchon is hardly in proper shape to wrestle in the FAWA. The Sam: Give me a minute on that point, Viva. First, Evil M will advance to the Interforums Title Shot On a Pole Match at Summerfest. He has a chance to reclaim what was his since Gookermania!
*”Big sMurfy” gives a triumphant grin as his hand is raised in victory, but when the two valets enter the ring to celebrate with him, the big man tells them to ease up, still favoring his back. The lovely lasses gingerly lean forward to each give him a peck on the cheek, as Caleb slowly rolls out of the ring. He reaches out for Bruno’s harness, and begins his walk to the back.*
The Sam: Okay, here we go.
May I have the FAWA Galaxy’s attention please? Thank you. I am your General Manager of the FAWA, The Sam, with an announcement.
Caleb Fourchon, as General Manager, I deem you unfit for wrestling in the FAWA while you are blind and am suspending you until further medical notice.
Thank you FAWA Galaxy, that is all.
There. Now we won’t have to see him again. Viva: He never has to see anyone. The Sam: Well I hope the FAWA Galaxy sticks around to see the following commercials.
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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on May 22, 2012 19:51:02 GMT -5
[shadow=red,left,300]NITERAW[/shadow] The Sam: Welcome back, FAWA Galaxy. Up next is a match that should prove to be one of the more brutal ones on tonight's card.Viva: Honestly , Sam. When have We ever saw Mr.Potato in this ring and not been incredibly Brutal? There's three things this guy likes in life The Fans , Rap Music , and Kicking the crap out of people.MM: The following singles match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing from the land of rising sun, weighing in at two hundred and ninety pounds, MISTTTEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR POOOOOTTTTTAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOO[yt] @http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AB0hRb_C9AI8[/yt] * King Of The Hill floods the Arena , As Mr.Potato walks out from behind the curtain with Martin Adams in front of him. Potato has a stern look on his face as he shakes his hands with some of the fans lining the alleyway. He wastes no time getting to the ring and into his corner where Martin Adams gives him a sip of water and places a Japanese Flag mouth piece in the mouth of his number one Client. Adams rolls out of the ring and takes a seat next to Viva and Sam as usual.* The Sam: I hate to question management but is it really fair and impartial to let Mr.Potato's Manager call this match with us?Viva: Yeah , Well if you think it's so wrong , why don't you get in there and tell him?Martin Adams: Oh come on , Guys. I promise to be fair and impartial. I'll be completely respectful to this tomato can , Potato is about to lay a savage beatdown on..The Sam: See what I mean.Viva: Still a better commentator then Art Donovan.[yt]V @http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJNGTtzzASo /a>[/yt] *Blondie and Muse flow from the speakers as the arena lights rapidly flash on and off in time with the music. As the constant drum beat kicks in, Hayden slides on to the stage with his arms extended almost as if he was casually surfing on the steel. After his slick entrance on stage, he turns and points to each side of the crowd. He jumps up and down, trying to get pumped up for the match, and then shakes off treks down the ramp as if on a mission but managing to "slap five" with the fans on the way down. However before , Hayden can complete his entrance , he is blasted with an Elbow Sucida from the two hundred and ninety pound Potato. Potato quickly stands up and pulls Hayden to his feet before belly to belly suplex Hayden hard into the apron. Potato slides back into the ring as Hayden lays in a slump outside the ring.* Martin Adams: Wow. Mr.Potato appears to be somehow more pissed off then usual. The Sam: Well , this is for a title.* Mr.Potato smirks and turns to wink at the Crowd on the Camera side as Hayden pops up and sneaks into the ring. Seeing an opening , Hayden charges at the showboating potato only to be forced to duck under a Lariat thrown by Potato. Hayden responds with a springboard back elbow that knocks potato down.* The Sam: Hayden is fighting back! He will not be steamrolled by potato.Viva: Yeah but for how long , Sam? How long?!*Hayden quickly rushes to the corner and ascends the turnbuckle before hitting a beautiful frog splash onto the back of the prone potato. The crowd begins to clap loudly for both men as they writhe around in pain from the impact of their bodies hitting each other with such force.* Martin Adams: I have to admit , I'm impressed with the way Hayden is taking it to Mr.Potato Here. The Sam: Hayden using the textbook strategy , of using your speed to defend yourself against the larger man.*After a moments , Hayden stumbles to his feet and makes his way over to the Apron. He waits for The Japanese Mastodon to rise before attempting a springboard huricanrana. Mr.Potato however catches Hayden by the legs and KAWADA DRIVES Hayden hard into the man. Hollywood's own's seemingly lifeless body folding up like an accordion from the sickening impact. The crowd almost instantly jumps to there feet in response to the devastating impact in the ring. The sound of applause becomes defining as Potato sits on his knees with a smirk on his face looking at the mangled heap that is Michael Hayden.* The Sam: And Mr.Potato there with a sickening Kawada Driver on Hayden.*As Hayden lies in battered heap before him , Mr.Potato reaches out for his opponents ankle and brutally begins to torque the limb in an attempt to hyperextend the bone. Hayden screams loudly in pain desperately trying to reach the bottom rope as The Japanese Mastodon gets sadistic grin on his face.* Viva: Hayden reaching out for the bottom rope in absolute agony and HE'S GO IT!!The Sam: But what is Mr.Potato doing? He's not releasing the hold and Spud Johnson has begun the count!*Mr.Potato continues to twist Hayden's ankle at a grotesque angle as Spud Johnson continues his count.* 1 2 3 4 5
* Johnson Calls for the bell as Mr.Potato turns around angrily realizing what he's done. Mr.Potato turns around and grabs spud johnson by the shirt collar and begins to scream I HAD TILL FIVE! over and over again with saliva flying out of his mouth* MM: Here is your winner as a result of a Disqualification , Michael Hayden!!The Sam: Oh my god! Mr.Potato has been disqualified for not releasing the hold! Michael Hayden is the NEW TV Champion!i But at what cost? Viva: Who cares? Winning a belt is the dream of every FAWA Superstar and Michael Hayden has done it here tonight!
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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on May 22, 2012 19:51:39 GMT -5
[shadow=red,left,300]NITERAW[/shadow] Viva: And now comes what will go down in history as the greatest moment in FAWA history: the final humiliation and destruction of the worst person to ever set foot in this company!The Sam: I don't know, Viva, for all the crapping we do on Richlen, I do feel somewhat sorry for him, I mean, he's only won ONE match since he lost the Inter-Forum Championship in November.Viva: Do I look like I give a f***? No? Then stop trying to make me care.MM: The following contest is a World Title Shot qualifying match and is scheduled for one fall!*"Put Your Light On" hits first and the lights dim as Ryan Bergman walks to the ring.* MM: Introducing first, from Central New York, weighing in at 227 pounds, Ryan Bergman!Viva: I was so happy to hear Bergman absolutely tear Richlen apart! Never have I been happier to see someone point out how worthless his little whinefest is, has been, and always will be!The Sam: But don't you worry that all he's doing is poking a cobra with a tiny stick? Richlen may be enraged enough that he might beat Bergman senseless and lose by disqualification, which helps neither of them.Viva: Damn, what's gotten into you tonight, sticking up for that gutless little bitch all of a sudden?! Try to be a little more unbiased, and by that I mean biased against him!The Sam: Yeah, well he nearly choked me out in a match once. I have no desire to risk it again.*And as if on cue, the generator shutting down sound hits and the lights go black. Then the heavy cymbals on "Runaway" kick in and the lights go emerald before the guitars kick in and a MASSIVE pyro explosion goes off. Then Gus Richlen storms to the ring, clearly in a horrible mood.* MM: And his opponent, from Peshtigo, Wisconsin, weighing in at 181 pounds-*Richlen throws off the mask and vest on the ramp, drops the sword, shoves Jake Kwan out of the way, and slugs Bergman to the ground! He then starts pounding uncontrollably at Bergman until Kwan has to forcibly drag him off. Richlen merely shoves Kwan again before continuing to attack Bergman, so this time, Kwan starts to count to five, then stops at four to drag Richlen away again. Richlen starts screaming incoherently at Kwan, then walks right into an armdrag! Richlen gets up and walks right into a second armdrag! Richlen gets up again and walks into a reverse body slam! 1! 2! Richlen kicks out and yanks Bergman's legs out from under him! Bergman scrambles up as Richlen is on his feet, and Richlen picks him up and powerslams him! 1! 2! Bergman kicks out, but Richlen waits for him to get up before whipping him into a corner. Bergman staggers out, allowing Richlen to spin him around with an inverted Boss Man Slam! 1! 2! Bergman kicks out again, so Richlen starts to pull him up again by the head, screaming "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!" repeatedly in his face, but Bergman shoves him back and superkicks him! 1! 2! Richlen kicks out, but Bergman springboards off the ropes with a Lionsault! 1! 2! Richlen kicks out again, so Bergman pulls him up and hits a Russian legsweep before springboarding again and hitting a second Lionsault! 1! 2! Richlen kicks out again!* Viva: Come on, you stupid bitch, just lie down and die already!The Sam: What are you, Jesse King all of a sudden?! I know you hate the guy, and quite honestly I can't stand him either, but there's no need for THAT kind of vitriol!Viva: Stop, OK? Just stop. Let me enjoy this.*Bergman waits for Richlen to start to rise, then charges, but Richlen ducks the shining wizard! Bergman rebounds off the ropes, but Richlen is already up, and Bergman runs right into the Carnosel! Bergman starts to sit up, but Richlen, a sick look on his face, calmly walks right up to him and shoves Bergman's face with his boot!* Viva: Yeah, really intimidating, Richlen. You still suck.*Richlen then pulls Bergman up by the throat, continuing to scream "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!" before chokeslamming him! 1! 2! Bergman kicks out, but Richlen drags him to the ropes and starts beating away at him again until Kwan drags him off again, threatening disqualification. Richlen watches Bergman gets to his feet, then as soon as the former FAWA World Champion gets up, Richlen spears him harder than any previous spear! 1! 2! Viva leaves commentary and pulls Kwan out of the ring! Viva then grabs the Freakin' Awesome Championship and enters the ring, but Richlen grabs him by the throat! He sets Viva up for a chokeslam, but Viva low blows him before smashing him in the head with the title!!!! Viva then drags Bergman to the cover and throws Kwan in to make the count! 1! 2! 3!* MM: Here is your winner, Ryan Bergman!*Bergman gets up and starts yelling at Viva, telling him that he didn't want the match to go that way, but Viva orders him out of the ring. Viva then grabs a mic and a steel chair and re-enters to stand over the fallen Richlen.* Viva: You pathetic son of a bitch. You couldn't just leave well enough alone, could you? You think you can attack me in my office and threaten my life and get away with it? Well, guess what. I ended your bitch's career, and now I'm going to do what I should have done ages ago and end yours. This is what you deserve.*Viva raises the chair, intending to drive it edge first into Richlen's throat, BUT MARSHALL WESLEY COVENTRY SLIDES IN FROM OUT OF NOWHERE AND ATTACKS!!!! Viva goes down as MWC starts pounding away, then as Viva gets up, Coventry kicks him downstairs and goes for the Psychologica,but Viva shoves him aside and bails, taking the title with him! Coventry is already yelling at Viva as the champ scurries up the ramp:* MWC: Is that how you operate, huh?! You want to attack my twin brother from behind again, you cowardly son of a bitch?! HUH?!The Sam:W-wait, what? Those two are-are BROTHERS?! Oh man, this changes things in FAWA, and I don't know if it's for the better or not!*Viva is stunned and pissed as MWC checks on his still down brother as we fade....*
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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on May 22, 2012 19:52:55 GMT -5
[shadow=red,left,300]NITERAW[/shadow] *There is a table and chairs set up in the ring.* MM: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome at this time, representing the Nintendo corporation, Sara Nakatomi and Jonathan Michaels.*Cherry's Dance Of Death* *Sara and Jonathan make their way to the ring, stern expressions on their faces, they take their seats in the ring.* Sarah: Well, folks, we have made our positions perfectly clear to Boiler Room Brawler, and we hope he has decided to see reason.
Therefore, we ask that he come to the ring and speak with us.MM: Ladies and Gentlemen of the FAWA Galaxy, would you please rise for the FAWA Majority Shareholder: Boiler... Room... Brawler!*Another Body Murdered - Faith No More/Boo Yaa Tribe* *Parts Unknown Security comes out to line up along the ramp. BRB rolls out on his Segway with El Hijo de Boiler Room Brawler close behind him. Sarah Nakatomi-Michaels and Jonathan Michaels wait as BRB makes his way into the ring, his eye ticking but a smile forced on his face...* BRB: I would like to extend a hearty welcome to these guests of honor to my company's weekly show, Niteraw!
Now let's talk turkey.Sarah: Fine, here's our offer.
Number one, you reinstate Jonathan.
Number two, you agree to remove yourself from the day to day operations and find a suitable replacement to take over running the company.
And none of your henchmen, either, we want new blood in charge.
Number three, you rehire Jesse King and Tim Hoss as commentators.
Number four, you state, in front of everyone in this arena and everyone at home, that you are not this company and the success of this company is thanks to ALL the hardworking athletes and loyal fans.
And number five, you reinstate the name of this company to the WWCF.
Now, we can negotiate on the last point, but the first four are very important.
In exchange for your cooperation, we will agree not to pursue any legal actions regarding the death of my father.
We will also agree to continue to sponsor this company for the full monetary amounts agreed to previously.JoNo: And you still maintain your share of the company, so you'll still be cashing those fat checks.
So, do we have an understanding?*Jonathan slides a contract over to BRB. BRB looks down at the contract, then up at JoNo and Sarah...* BRB: So you want me, BRB, the FAWA Majority Shareholder, to agree to this contract, free of negotiation? No no no no... Let's look at this...
First, you may as well give up on the WWCF reinstatement, cuz that was handed down from above. You should have seen some of the other names tossed out there by the rest of the Board.
Let's see here, second thing: you want me to be more "humble?" Is that it? You want me, the man who owns the majority of all FAWA stock fair and square, to give some level of credit?
Hm, if it satiates the ego of my employees, perhaps, fine.
Number three: Jesse King and Tim Hoss? Do old habits die hard with you at Nintendo? Haven't you ever heard of moving forward?
Commissioner Vincent Van Agony and General Manager The Sam have been two of the hottest elements of the FAWA throughout the year. They brought an unsurpassed freshness to our shows that we haven't seen in years.
But you know what? What better way to prove me right than by just letting Nintendo have their way, eh?
Fine. I'll personally hire those two old farts back into the announce booth.
Number four: you want me to cease running my company the way I want to, to great success and dividends, might I add? You want "new blood?" You want me to find someone else to run my company's day to day operations?*BRB peers down at the contract again, then gets a sly look on his face...* BRB: Fine. I can agree to that. Sure. Sure thing, Jono. Sure thing, Sarah. New, fresh faces of management it will be. Like you said, I will continue to roll in the dough - and it better roll in or else there will be a reckoning, but that brings me to number one: You want Jonathan Michaels reinstated. To sign him a new contract with my company. That doesn't sit well with me, BRB.
JoNo, I've been playing nice so far while you've stabbed me in the chest. We had an agreement: you lose to the FAWA World Heavyweight Champion, "The Punisher" Frank Castle, and your contract is terminated. You lost, but now here you are weaseling your way back into my company.
Here's my counteroffer...
My company is called the FAWA because of pre-existing legal reasons and it is here to stay.
You want me to give credit to all of my company's employees in front of my company's millions of fans? Fine, once I sign this contract I'll do just that to make them all shut up.
You want "Gorilla" Tim Hoss and Jesse King to resume announcing duties? Fine. Viva and The Sam are outta there and the old has-beens are back in action.
And you want a new CEO? You want me to cease day-to-day operations? Fine, since I still collect the money. I'll have a replacement within the week.*BRB's sly grin starts shifting into a scowl...* BRB: But there is no way that Jonathan Michaels gets his job back in my company so easy. Forget it.
You want your job back, Michaels? You want it back so bad, then you have to earn it, and there is only one way to earn things in my company: you have to wrestle for it.
You want your job back, Michaels? You want me, BRB, to sign this contract? You want to pander to my company's fans the whole time without giving them what they really want?
If you want all of that, JoNo, then you must wrestle me, BRB for it. That's right. My 6'12", 400lb South Border Behemoth, El Hijo de Boiler Room Brawler, will be busy at Summerfest, so it's high time that I step into my company's squared circle and fight for it.
This is it, JoNo: if you want your job back, then you have to go through me, BRB, to get it in an I Quit match at Summerfest!Sarah: Deal.JoNo: Wow.
That was easy.
I can't believe you did that, and here I figured I'd have to wait for months to be able to get my hands on you.
I mean, you actually think you know what these fans want?
I know what these fans want.
They want to watch their favorite competitors have exciting matches without having to service your various whimsies.
They want to watch a show where the man in charge doesn't come out here and fellate himself verbally for 20 minutes a week.
They want to see Frank Castle and I whip each others asses without brain dead giants ruining everything.
They want to see and hear Tim Hoss and Jesse King put the wrestlers over instead of Viva and Sam putting themselves over.
And most of all, at Summerfest, they want to see you quit.Oh, and by the way, Brawler, don't get any funny ideas about your replacement, because if they fail to constitute a significant change in philosophy from your own, if you just bring in a puppet, then you will face severe penalties.*BRB smiles again...* BRB: Oh, there will be a significant change in philosophy. Oh yes. Don't you worry you two. I got just the person I want to run to my company in mind, but Ts need to be crossed and Is need to be dotted before I announce my new CEO.
That contract ain't getting signed until I make JoNo say, "I Quit" and his resigning is stricken from the contract, and at Summerfest, I will make good on that.
The next few weeks may be my last running my company myself, but I'm gonna go out in style, and it's going to be Jonathan Michaels's final match that will conclude the reign of me, BRB!Sarah: Well, then, until Summerfest.*Sara gets up to leave, but Jono stops her.* JoNo: You know, Brawler, you're right about one thing.
It will be someone's last match.
Because if you'll remember, the last time we faced off in an I Quit match, you were the one to quit.
And as you said, I do love to repeat the past.
And, cut.[glow=yellow,2,300]CREDITS[/glow]Boiler Room Brawler Hoss Fan Ghost Ant Jonathan Michaels Gus Richlen Korean Zombie Hype Train Mister Socko’s Brother The Punisher
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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on May 22, 2012 20:03:00 GMT -5
I sent out the usual courtesy PM. Let me know if you didn't get one.
Moving on, here's the next card - I didn't find a proper place to really announce the next MitBoB Qualifying matches, but here they are:
Interforums Title Shot Qualifier Mr. Potato versus Marshall Wesley Coventry
Freakin' Awesome Title Shot Qualifier The Smokin' Vokoun versus the General of the Monkey Army
TV Title Match Mario Nett versus Michael Hayden
Added: Tag Team Match Gus Richlen and Marshall Wesley Coventry versus Jeremy Dupoe and Mario Nett
Anyone have any matches they want to add for voting purposes?
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Gus Richlen Was Wrong
Patti Mayonnaise
Metal Maestro: Co-winner of the FAN Idol Throwdown!
Fun while it lasted
Posts: 38,578
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Post by Gus Richlen Was Wrong on May 22, 2012 20:08:51 GMT -5
Yep. That reveal is taken care of. ;D
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Gus Richlen Was Wrong
Patti Mayonnaise
Metal Maestro: Co-winner of the FAN Idol Throwdown!
Fun while it lasted
Posts: 38,578
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Post by Gus Richlen Was Wrong on May 22, 2012 20:10:39 GMT -5
Uh, BRB, I was going to see about MWC and Richlen vs. Dupoe and Nett.
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Post by hossfan on May 22, 2012 20:22:16 GMT -5
Also, I'm gonna say a preemptive farewell now. It's been a blast and maybe I'll return some day. If by some fluke I win, then I'll post a retraction of some kind. At least until Summerfest.
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Post by Some Baritone guy IS REDEEMED! on May 22, 2012 20:23:03 GMT -5
I sent out the usual courtesy PM. Let me know if you didn't get one. Moving on, here's the next card - I didn't find a proper place to really announce the next MitBoB Qualifying matches, but here they are: Interforums Title Shot QualifierMr. Potato versus Marshall Wesley Coventry Freakin' Awesome Title Shot QualifierThe Smokin' Vokoun versus the General of the Monkey Army TV Title MatchMario Nett versus Michael Hayden Anyone have any matches they want to add for voting purposes? No matches to suggest but if you don't mind could I write up some footage of what went down after the show?
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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on May 22, 2012 20:26:27 GMT -5
Go right ahead.
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Post by Head Detective Aaron Enigma on May 22, 2012 20:41:40 GMT -5
Is there anyway I can get a match? I haven't wrestled since Wheel of Misfortune.
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Post by Todd's crazy , Man. on May 22, 2012 20:43:30 GMT -5
Also, I'm gonna say a preemptive farewell now. It's been a blast and maybe I'll return some day. If by some fluke I win, then I'll post a retraction of some kind. At least until Summerfest. Good show. Not a fan of the endings to either the TV title match or the Qualifying Match for the Heavyweight Title. Hayden and Bergman both were made to look like chumps in victory. The finish was decent for the situation. Mr.Potato loses but still looks (somewhat) credible and Hayden is the champion. Not to mention the fact that Hayden did knock down and manage to keep potato grounded far longer then his opponents and I think it's an okay match. I disagree that Hayden looks like I chump. I don't see him that way. I see him as a guy who knocked down a tough guy and kept him down and withstood an incredibly painful submission to grab the ropes and secure his victory.
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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on May 22, 2012 20:51:08 GMT -5
Is there anyway I can get a match? I haven't wrestled since Wheel of Misfortune. Hm... you'll need an opponent... Maybe a "warm-up" tag match between the teams of Aaron Enigma and Vincent Van Agony versus Ghost Ant and Bull Ant?
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Post by Head Detective Aaron Enigma on May 22, 2012 20:56:08 GMT -5
Teaming with Viva? That would be pretty funny actually.
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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on May 22, 2012 21:12:48 GMT -5
A little bonus footage following the show, courtesy of Ghost Ant:
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on May 22, 2012 21:16:26 GMT -5
What?! I... won?! Alright, I retract my farewell statement in favor of this: What the hell are you guys on and where can I get some?
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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on May 22, 2012 21:31:44 GMT -5
Don't worry. To paraphrase Pulp Fiction, I plan to call up some hard pipe hitting -ATTRACTIVE AND SUCCESSFUL AFRICAN AMERICANS- to go to town on Evil M at Summerfest.
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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on May 22, 2012 21:32:13 GMT -5
Teaming with Viva? That would be pretty funny actually. Shall I make it so?
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