This is something that I thought about today and I was wondering this. Nearly 3 years ago, I was manipulated by a person who I thought was a friend. Also, this past Summer, I was manipulated by someone who I thought I was cool with, but then I look back and remember all the times she put me on the spot for certain things, especially when being asked about financial stuff.
Let me tell you something, it's a never a good feeling when someone is being manipulated. Whether it's taking advantage of someone or basically putting someone on the spot and trying to get someone to help you when you don't really want to do it and they all tell you that you're being selfish and such.
I realized both instances the hard way, but at least with one of them, I was able to realize it when someone helped me through it. This person is all telling me that I am at a certain age and I need to do things on my own and all of that, but also giving me crap about why I wouldn't help and calling me cheap in the process.
As good an idea as it may or may not be, I've started subconsciously keeping track of what they've done for me and what I've done for them. That's not to say I've been needy, but if they're often objecting to helping me out or haven't been much help when I come to them with problems, whereas I've bent over backwards for them...then I can safely assume I'm being manipulated to an unfair point.
Post by darthalexander on Dec 30, 2011 9:46:19 GMT -5
One easy way to see if someone is up to something is to look out for changes in behavior. They are doing things that seem out of character for them or don't jibe with how they usually are.
My aunt hates me. She's always had a problem with me ever since I was a child and she has been quite awful with me. There's been verbal abuse, emotional abuse, and things have been said to me that are very bad. Things that even my own worst enemy probably wouldn't say to me. I remember as a child having her call me names and telling me that I should know I'm nothing special, etc. She's looked at me with such hate. She's looked at me as if I were a piece of crap and she has laughed at me right in my face. She's made fun of me and even hit me a few times when I was a kid.
However, when she wants something from me she changes. She laughs at my jokes. She pays a lot of attention to me. She agrees with my opinions. I seemingly can do no wrong and she'll "defend" me. She'll even praise me. Problem is, it's all an act because she needs a favor from me. The dumb thing is she thinks I don't see it, but I know exactly what she's up to. If I happen to do this favor, I'll be the greatest nephew ever - for a time. Then it's back to being the 'rotten son of a bitch who thinks he's so great'.