Amazingly Awkward Dates

[Turd Ferguson]

Not necessarily bad, but awkward. Any fun stories?


A few years ago, my now-wife, then-girlfriend and I were on a break. So, as luck would have it, a girl who I knew in elementary school moved back to the area and I ran into her. She looked AMAZING, and dug me, so we agreed to go out to dinner. I arrived to pick her up and she invited me in. It got to be bad weather so we cooked and decided to watch a movie.

She was into artsy fartsy movies, so it was a foreign film about a Japanese boy and his American English teacher or some shit like that. Anyway, we had paused it, ate, and got back to the couch to finish watching the movie with glasses of wine. As we start making out, I'm rounding second base and on my way to third. All of a sudden, these two guys in the movie start f***ing, like HARDCORE GAY sex, a montage of every position imaginable. And, while I generally have no problem with anybody else's sexuality, as far as two gay guys, I just don't want to see that when I'm getting all hot and heavy on my own.

Needless to say, I was stunned and confused, and of all times, the batteries in the remote died. I yelped as I ran to turn it off, and she was just astonished at my reaction to it.

[Mozenrath]

That is rather hilarious.

I guess I haven't been on a ton of "date" dates, but one invovled me accidentally asking a mannequin for directions. In my defense, it was from behind, and it had a wig and collar covering the neck seams, so it was less obvious.

All I got out was "Excuse me sir" while she lost it in laughter.

[Alexander The So-so]

I have to say that that story is frickin' hilarious. I'm sorry about the embarassment you may have gone through, but it's still absolutely awesome.

[Urethra Franklin]

I was once having hardcore gay sex with this Japanese dude and all of a sudden we were distracted by these two elementary school friends making out. I was mortified.

[Rican]

Dec 30, 2011 16:28:55 GMT -5 Urethra Franklin said:

I was once having hardcore gay sex with this Japanese dude and all of a sudden we were distracted by these two elementary school friends making out. I was mortified.

A late contender for post of the year!

[Dave the Dave]

We go bowling...she destroys me. I go to kiss her and I forget to park my car. I hit her parked car in front of her place.


somehow, I'm still with her a year later

[bibboid]

I had finally worked up the nerve to ask out this one really cute girl.
We went to the bar and had a beer and then she wanted to go to another bar.
We had one beer there and she wanted to go to another bar.
We had one beer there and she wanted to go to another bar.
We had one beer there and she wanted to go to another bar.
We had one beer there and she wanted to go to another bar.
We get to the sixth bar and she sees her ex-boyfriend (who I'm guessing she had been looking for all night) and she starts screaming at him from across the bar until she gets us kicked out.
Then she told me to take her home, sulked all the way there, and hopped out of my car without so much as saying "Goodnight".

That chick was nuts.

[Rican]

With my then-girlfriend, we were supposed to go to a ballet since I wanted to take her to something nice. My car broke down and I ran around the neighborhood trying to find someone with jumper cables. It finally got fixed and I went to go pick her up. We went to the ballet and it was some art schools closing night, and it was more of this weird interpretive dance thing. It was weird. Halfway through my mom kept calling me over and over saying my licence was at home and I needed to come get it and that I shouldn't have been driving without it. So we left halfway through the performance and drove like 40 minutes back to my parents house so I could get my license. Total disaster.

[rapidfire187]

A few years ago I met a girl online. We decided that for our first date I would pick her up and we would go to a party at my friend's house. When I got there to pick her up, she was like 50 lbs heavier than her pics made her look, way uglier, and lived in a crappy one room apartment with another guy that "thinks she's his girlfriend". Being the nice guy that I am, I didn't burst into laughter before leaving, instead I went through with our plans. Needless to say it was incredibly awkward and my friends still bring it up all the time.

[Cranjis McBasketball]

It wasn't a date. To keep this as short as possible.

I was talking to this gal, who had a fiancee, anyway, he got into her email and read the emails we were sending each other. Which contained a lot of content his eyes weren't mean to see. Let's say they were sexual in nature.

So, like a week later, I went to her place for Thanksgiving because we had that planned beforehand and it was the first one she was ever going to do. Also, it was a rather long drive to be there. So here I am, with her, a pissed off fiancee, and his friends.

Someone there wanted cigarettes, so it was decided this gal and I should go. After we were gone for like, 2 minutes, the fiancee decided we had been gone way too long and came looking for us with his friends, stopping to pick up re-bar and hunks of concrete to murder me with.

That was the first night, I still had a day or so left. Plus, I stayed on their couch. Also, in the end, his friends spent most of their time hanging around me and we got along fine. Fiancee and I acted nice, but you know, imagine.

It gets worse from there over time, but that's enough about me for now.

[MGH]

When I first got a myspace I ended up being tracked down by an old elementary school pal. We had been best friends back then and ended up losing contact and going to different schools. I hadn't seen her since then, but her pictures showed she had grown up looking very nice. We chatted online for a couple of weeks, and we were hitting it off so I thought I'd ask her out. We agreed to meet for a movie then we'd grab some food and chat in person.

I was really looking forward to it because our talks since reconnecting had been great and she had retained all the good qualities I liked about her when we were kids. We had quite a bit in common. Now granted, this was probably my fault for not initiating a phone conversation before meeting up, but since this wasn't technically a total stranger and we were meeting anyway, I just figured it could wait.

I'm not sure who I was talking to online that whole time, but I'm convinced it wasn't her. From the second she arrived she acted, talked, and behaved entirely different than she portrayed in our conversations. Not that I really cared from this angle, but those pictures were a tad deceptive as well. Turns out her personality isn't one I get along with so well (expert job of faking it for two weeks though, I must say) and after a hour or so it was just quiet and awkward and I think she could tell I was thrown off.

Needless to say the meal afterwords didn't happen. Haven't talked to her since.

[Bo Rida]

It wasn't a date but a group job interview, me and this girl were getting on pretty well and leading our near silent table until we finished a task early.
We got chatting and it turned out she was the same age as my cousin and that they went to the same school so naturally I asked if they knew each other, they did... but unfortunately the only thing they shared was mutual hatred.
After a few sentences I cut her off to inform her that she was my cousin and that made things a bit awkward, we did both get the job though.

[Deleted]

Dec 30, 2011 16:28:55 GMT -5 Urethra Franklin said:

I was once having hardcore gay sex with this Japanese dude and all of a sudden we were distracted by these two elementary school friends making out. I was mortified.

[Deleted]

It started with me hanging out with an alcoholic schizophrenic from group therapy.

Then it only got weirder over the next 24 hours...