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Post by The Flaming Carrot on Nov 12, 2012 23:23:05 GMT -5
*Malevolence is backstage, slowly unwrapping himself from toilet paper. His usual fun demeanor is gone and he appears to be on the verge of snapping.*
And so it's the same old story. That vile, arrogant, ungrateful little welp retains his title and gets cheered for it. The man who has repeatedly denounced the FAWA Galaxy gets cheered over the big bad clown. Why is this? I've faced prejudice in the years since I've got my scars but in the FAWA we have ants crawling around the place, demons possessing people and even a fat wannabe-cowboy calling every match but still I get shafted! Aaron wants to talk about people being against him, he wants to play the victim but truth is the real conspiracy here is against me!
*Malevolence tears off some more of the toilet paper, accidentally tripping over in the process.*
Hardy ha ha! BRB you did a fantastic job of making me seem like some kind of joke! I walk in the FAWA locker-room and I can sense I don't belong and why is that again? Oh right, because I'm a FREAK!
*Malevolence rips himself out of his toilet paper cocoon and stands back on his feet.*
Well this freak is beginning to think that he's not going to find any friends in this rat-hole...so maybe it's time to look elsewhere. I have many friends in low places and as the King of Freaks they are always ready to show their respect and loyalty to me!
*Malevolence begins to break out into a smirk again, reverting back to his joyful self.*
Yeah...this clown no longer travels alone, hehe. Niteraw I've got a chance to become the number one contender for the TV title and if...no, no...WHEN I win it I'll wipe the smiles off the face of every FAWA superstar, fan, official, it doesn't matter. NOBODY wants to see a freak carry that title and that fact is what motivates me the most, haha! Once that belt is in my hands, I become the face of FAWA TV...[/b]
*Malevolence smiles toward the camera, his disgusting teeth in full view.*
...and you'll all be seeing this smile a whole lot more! Hahahaha! Yes! I will be taking that title and I mean it when I say there's NOTHING anybody can do about it! And I wont be making the same mistake I made against Aaron Enigma, this time I'm bringing back-up.
Calling all freaks! Your king has summoned you! Hahahahaha!
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,411
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Nov 12, 2012 23:37:05 GMT -5
Allow The Dream the pleasure of introducing... The Dream.
Ahem.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND NON-BOYS, WOMEN OVER THE AGE OF CONSENT AND ESPECIALLY MOO MOO (seriously, call me).
INTRODUCING THE MAN WHO NEEDS NO INTRODUCING, THEREFORE MAKING THIS ABSOLUTLEY UNNECESSARY!!
HE IS THE PESTICIDAL, SPERMACIDAL, SCHOOL RECITAL MADMAN!!
THE HERO TO DOZENS OF IMPRESSIONABLE YOUNG LADS!
THE MAN WHO STOLE THE TARDIS, SO SUCK IT MATT SMITH! DAVID TENNANT WAS BETTER THAN YOU WILL EVER BE!!
HE IS EL SUEÑO, THE AFTERSHOW PARTY, AND YOUR NEW FAVORITE WRESTLER....
THE DREAM!!
The Dream throws a handful of confetti in the air, a cheesy smile on his face.
And at NiteRaw, The Dream makes his much anticipated debut! So stay tuned folks, because come NiteRaw, your hero takes center stage, doing what he does best....
WRESTLING! WREEEEEEEEESTLIIIIIIIIING!!!
The Dream runs off, screaming "WRESTLING!" the entire time.
Seriously, we hired this guy?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2012 23:44:54 GMT -5
*Jason Flynn walks out to the arena with a microphone in his hand without his music playing.*
Alright, alright. Wait just a minute here.
*Jason Flynn then slips under the bottom rope and walks down the center in the ring.*
I know, I know. I'm the new guy and people don't wanna listen but just hear me out for a second... Even though I haven't been for a while there are a lot of guys that... "Get under my nerves."
*Jason Flynn gulps and looks at the titantron.*
I mean... I don't wanna use harsh words here, but I think, "Freaks" explains it quite nicely. I'm not gonna call out names but these people just get under my skin for some reason... No personal attacking.
*Jason Flynn then smiles around and looks at the audience.*
It makes me wanna hurt someone.
*Jason Flynn now points down at the entrance ramp.*
I'm not really use to issuing open challenges but, I wanna really see what FAWA is made of. I can't do it right here, right now because I've got business to take care of later... If you know what I mean.
*He now puts on a s*** eating grin.*
So... If there is absolutely anyone who is out there and wants to face me in the future... I'd like to step forward right now because I don't think I've demonstrated how much I can really woop ass here.
*The crowd cheers at Flynn as he sits down near the ropes.*
I'm waiting... Anyone? Anyone? ... Come on.
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Post by The Flaming Carrot on Nov 12, 2012 23:50:28 GMT -5
*Malevolence is watching a monitor backstage.*
Heh, bigger and better things...not worth my time...[/color]
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,411
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Nov 13, 2012 0:17:34 GMT -5
The following blog was posted on FAWA.com
Television.... how I've missed you so...
The chance to become the TV Champion once more is something I never thought would happen. I thought that those in charge would continue putting me up against Jonathan Michaels, maybe have me "earn" another chance at the FAWA Title. A title that should be mine.
I've said my piece about Jonathan before, and I'm sure I'll say it again sometime soon, but to regain the Television Title... it is alluring. And even better, Jono can't steal my title away. He can't screw me out of the title, not without revealing hinself as the snake in the grass that few of us know him as. I may not be friends with Seth Drakin, but he can see that the words I speak aren't out of jealousy. I just had my eyes open to the truth.
James, I proved it during my first reign as TV Champ, and I proved it in the Chamber. You might be good, but I am The Talent.
Antihero... truth be told, you've never done me wrong, and vice versa. The only probelm I have is the name "Antihero", because you're the hero to these people. You're the one that every fan cheers for. So aside from your name, and that's just a pet peeve, you and I are on good terms. Good luck with TyrAnt as well.
As for our resident, and self-proclaimed "King of Freaks", Malevolence. You, my oddball colleague, might have weasled your way into an Inter-Forums Title shot at NoTWZ, but a TV Title shot? The title that Hollywood made famous? You may have a chance, but against Hollywood's Own there is none. I'm not going to let you get a shot at my title, my birthright. No no no, you might have better luck against Jason Flynn, where you might win a match or two. But Michael Hayden has no equal. He has no better. And against you.... He can not lose.
And for our champion, Bull Ant. I know you went through hell, and and old friend may be after your sister, thereby diverting your attention from this match. All I have to say is give Jono hell, defeat him inside that ring, do whatever necessary to win. And next week, you and I are gonna dance.
I guarantee it.
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Nov 13, 2012 0:35:07 GMT -5
Nice to see that you finally see what I have seen for an entire year, Michael. I hope more people open their eyes and see Jonathan for the true snake in the grass he is. Maybe, I'll do a future segment revealing one last thing about that night where I realized Jonathan was that snake. But right now..............I am too busy with other stuff.
As for Marshall and his obsession with a terrible piece of crap film, not worth my time. Although I will say nice losing the belt to Bull Ant. I may have also lost my match, but mine was at least worth mentioning.
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Post by Head Detective Aaron Enigma on Nov 13, 2012 0:53:29 GMT -5
All I hear from some of you is just whining, so much whining. At least when I complain, I can make some valid points.
Malevolence, your only mistake in our match was thinking you could step into the ring with the greatest Inter-Forum champion in FAWA history. And to call me such awful names, saying I denounced the fans. Calling me ungrateful? HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH?! Did you compete with Smokin' Vokoun and beat each other nearly to death with chairs? I have EARNED everything, and in my eyes, I DESERVE much more. The fans stand behind me. They want to see Aaron Enigma at the top of the mountain, and they are going to get it!
Michael Hayden, Mr. Hollywood, you just never cease to amaze me. Why would you keep getting title shots only to lose? You know what I did at the last two pay-per-view events? I won. I defended my title. You came up short twice in a row, and you sit there thinking you deserve another shot? This is what all these shortcuts get you. You think you are entitled to more because your mind has deluded you into thinking you earned something you didn't. Wake up and come back to reality, and go back to the bottom where you belong until you prove me and everyone else in FAWA otherwise.
If you got a problem with it, we can settle things in the ring sometime. I've got no problem teaching two upstart guys that think they deserve the world when they haven't earned a damn thing.
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,411
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Nov 13, 2012 1:13:19 GMT -5
Aaron, I don't know where this anger is coming from, or why you're taking it out on me.
Fact is, I won the BattleBowl to get my first shot at the FAWA Title, and I had to beat BRB to get my second. Nothing given to me, nothing handed. I earned them through hard work and being better than my opponents. Revolutionary, I know, but it's seemed to work well for me.
But if you're so keen on taking me on, fine. If I should somehow lose, and there's little chance of that happening, I'll gladly take you on whenever you want. Whether it's for your title or not, I'll prove that Michael Hayden isn't some fresh-faced rookie with a sense of entitlement. Hollywood's the real deal.
Hell, ask BRB if you don't believe me.
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Post by Head Detective Aaron Enigma on Nov 13, 2012 1:37:22 GMT -5
Ah yes, the storied career of Michael Hayden. Battlebowl winner...you know...I'll give you that one. Even I haven't won one, granted, I've also never been IN the match, but I digress. Then what happened? Michaels took your TV title before Battlebowl, he took the Heavyweight title, and then you challenged him for it...and lost. Tell me, where are the wins? All I see are losses when it counts. Where are the big wins that define careers?
What made you so great? What made you more deserving than me for a title shot? You know what it was? Management didn't want me to hold both belts. They don't want the dominant force that is Aaron Enigma to be Heavyweight Champion AND Inter-Forum champion. Unfortunately for them, it's only a matter of time.
I'll be waiting to see if you win later this week. If you don't, let's just say I've already got a match penciled in for next week. You'll just be the next step on the ladder as I climb back to the top of the company.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2012 2:16:05 GMT -5
*After viewing the blog post on FAWA.com*
What? Do these guys think I'm a bloody joke or something? There is absolutely no way that this "Malevolence" guy could defeat me... Ha... He should of been the one that accepted my challenge. Then I would of gotten him out of the way and hopefully this guy would really know what I'm made of. I could even be champion if I wanted to, but I wanna start out slow... Then slowly get things together. Maybe after my next match people will actually start respecting me.
*Jason Flynn wipes his face and thinks.*
Just watch FAWA.
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Gus Richlen Was Wrong
Patti Mayonnaise
Metal Maestro: Co-winner of the FAN Idol Throwdown!
Fun while it lasted
Posts: 38,523
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Post by Gus Richlen Was Wrong on Nov 13, 2012 4:50:08 GMT -5
Nice to see that you finally see what I have seen for an entire year, Michael. I hope more people open their eyes and see Jonathan for the true snake in the grass he is. Maybe, I'll do a future segment revealing one last thing about that night where I realized Jonathan was that snake. But right now..............I am too busy with other stuff.
As for Marshall and his obsession with a terrible piece of crap film, not worth my time. Although I will say nice losing the belt to Bull Ant. I may have also lost my match, but mine was at least worth mentioning. At least I was able to walk away from my match.
And I still have one-half of the FAWA World Tag Team Championships. A title you've never won, Betty, and never will.
Oh, and Bull Ant? I'm not going to look for a rematch.
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Knailsic From Now On
Dennis Stamp
Loneliest Number Since #1
Waiting with my red eyes and my stone heart
Posts: 4,365
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Post by Knailsic From Now On on Nov 18, 2012 17:03:29 GMT -5
Greetings FAWA audience, been awhile since I've had a word with you. And I feel awful about it. But don't fret I'm back and you can keep seeing this wonderful face week after week. Now before I go Bull I promised you a rematch and as a man if my word I'll give you one whenever you want.[/color] [/size]
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Nov 18, 2012 17:29:11 GMT -5
So it seems I am part of a match to determine the #1 contender for the TV Title. And Marsha is in it as well. So I get to kill two birds in one stone with the second stone killing two more birds in getting my revenge on Bull Ant and becoming the TV Champion.
Oh yes.................I am going to enjoy winning this match. Connor and Jason.............enjoy being with Marsha Marsha Marsha over there as I win.
With a shot at the TV Title..................I will have one more belt to my resume as well as being able to plan on either holding this belt until cashing it in on either the Inter-Forums belt to win every title in this company, or to wait and cash it in on the world champion Jonathan so I can get my ultimate revenge on the man who has caused all the suffering of this company at my hands. In fact, maybe I have some evidence to show how much of a political slimeball Jonathan really is.
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Post by Some Baritone guy IS REDEEMED! on Nov 18, 2012 17:34:00 GMT -5
So here it is all I want is right in front of me the FAWA World Heavyweight Title in the Thunderdome.
Now I'll be honest there's been something that's been bugging me since before Battle Bowl, can I beat you Michaels? I mean we were supposed to fight until you decided to walk away from said match.
Let's be honest you and I are probably the favorites in this match. So why not make things interesting champ? Why not you and I have a match one on one, you know give the fans a preview of the Thunderdome?
Are you in or are you out.
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Gus Richlen Was Wrong
Patti Mayonnaise
Metal Maestro: Co-winner of the FAN Idol Throwdown!
Fun while it lasted
Posts: 38,523
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Post by Gus Richlen Was Wrong on Nov 18, 2012 17:44:11 GMT -5
So it seems I am part of a match to determine the #1 contender for the TV Title. And Marsha is in it as well. So I get to kill two birds in one stone with the second stone killing two more birds in getting my revenge on Bull Ant and becoming the TV Champion.
Oh yes.................I am going to enjoy winning this match. Connor and Jason.............enjoy being with Marsha Marsha Marsha over there as I win.
With a shot at the TV Title..................I will have one more belt to my resume as well as being able to plan on either holding this belt until cashing it in on either the Inter-Forums belt to win every title in this company, or to wait and cash it in on the world champion Jonathan so I can get my ultimate revenge on the man who has caused all the suffering of this company at my hands. In fact, maybe I have some evidence to show how much of a political slimeball Jonathan really is. Allow me to ruin your delusion, O Great Choking One, but I've requested to be removed from the match because I already made it clear that I was not going to seek a rematch against Bull Ant.
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Post by Head Detective Aaron Enigma on Nov 18, 2012 21:11:17 GMT -5
So here it is all I want is right in front of me the FAWA World Heavyweight Title in the Thunderdome.
Now I'll be honest there's been something that's been bugging me since before Battle Bowl, can I beat you Michaels? I mean we were supposed to fight until you decided to walk away from said match.
Let's be honest you and I are probably the favorites in this match. So why not make things interesting champ? Why not you and I have a match one on one, you know give the fans a preview of the Thunderdome?
Are you in or are you out. I don't mean to interrupt your delusions, Antihero, but you considered a favorite? What have you done recently? Didn't you lose at Night of the Wrestling Zombies? Oh wait, yes you did. Meanwhile what did the Head Detective do? Well...I won. You bring up the fact that you beat me, but even you must've seen a replay by now. My foot was clearly under the bottom rope when you pinned me.
So if your only reason for being considered a favorite is a win over me you shouldn't have, are you really a favorite? You know who is a favorite? Jonathan Michaels, who is one of the only people I respect in this company still. You know who the biggest threat to his title is? It's me, Aaron Enigma, the Inter-Forum champion.
Thanksgiving marks the one year anniversary of me winning the Inter-Forum title, and barring a couple setbacks, I've essentially held the title for an entire year. And of course time and time again, I've been passed up for Heavyweight title shots because I already held a belt. Why is that fair? The fans want more Aaron Enigma. Management should be smart to give them what they want.
Remember that next time you run your mouth, you should get your facts straight. I'm a champion, you aren't. When it really matters, I find any way to win. What do you do? You lose in those big matches. Just something to think about, Antihero.
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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on Nov 19, 2012 1:04:40 GMT -5
BRB: Antihero and Aaron... Enigma. Two men who are so damned proud of themselves. So damned confident in their prowess in the square circle. So damned sure that they have the crowd behind them and that any of that matters.
The fans are idiots and the fact that Jonathan Michaels gets cheered as champion is proof. That they only just now are catching on that Aaron Enigma is an arrogant, self-serving prima donna is even more proof.
I share the truth with this company's so-called fans. I bring change to this company and they cheer Michaels, they cheer Enigma as they rebel against my every progressive action.
I tell you all this, FAWA Galaxy: you are now in the age of Zombie WWCF. It has risen from the pits of Wrestling Hell itself. When the dead rise, that means only one thing, and Jeremy Dupoe, my hand-picked CEO, has a book that foretold it all.
The WrestleCrApocalypse is coming, oh FAWA Galaxy. How long? Not long. What you reap is what you sow.
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Nov 19, 2012 2:41:18 GMT -5
So I see that for some reason, Marsha decided to back out so instead the third guy I have to beat will be Mario Nett. You know if you say his name fast, he would be a marionette. That's a type of puppet, sheep...........so since I was once known as The Puppet Master, I should outsmart ol' Mario quite easily.
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Post by Some Baritone guy IS REDEEMED! on Nov 19, 2012 8:17:37 GMT -5
Aaron, one small fact that I know you'll just love to be reminded of. Every time the two of us have been on opposite sides in a match I've won. Gookermania I may not have pinned you but you didn't take the Freakin Awesome title. About a month ago you couldn't beat me there, given the referee did make a bad call, but if you were as good as you say,you would have won regardless. And then you decided that I deserved a cheap shot for the ref's mistake!
And really that part alone doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that you accepted the handshake and then you took the shot. I don't think FAWA needs a coward as the World Heavyweight Champion.
Now onto BRB, the festering pimple on the hindquarters of FAWA, who apparently deserves a title match for not having won a match since my debut here.
Seriously, when I was winning the Freakin Awesome title for the first time, you were shouting I QUIT!
When I was winning the same title a second time you were going over the top rope in Battle Bowl.
And I don't think I need to remind anyone of Gookermania.
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,411
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Nov 19, 2012 12:42:42 GMT -5
Someone please explain to me how Transgression and Redemption can call themselves the Tag Team Champions without having defended the belts in MONTHS.
Seriously, it baffles me. Every other title has been defended consistently.
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