WWE Pics/Gifs Thread LXXVII: Doomsday Botch

[CATCH_US IS the Conversation]

Dec 25, 2012 16:16:42 GMT -5 Wolf Hurricane said:

From the short-lived Summer of Punk II

The Lightning Fist logo emanating radio waves would've actually made a nice Titantron/Minitron for Punk.

[Trout Stratus]

Dec 25, 2012 14:56:53 GMT -5 DIIV said:

Yes. Yes. Yes.

[ededdneddy]

Dec 25, 2012 14:56:53 GMT -5 DIIV said:

Yoshi: I am happy for my friend. John Cena is my friend. *Cena no sells his friendship*

[Mighty Attack Tribble]

[Big Daddy Bad Booking]

Dec 25, 2012 19:32:59 GMT -5 Mighty Attack Tribble said:

Booker is still in shock over the 'n' bomb from years' past. Even if Cena didn't say it!

[jemtruman]

Dec 24, 2012 13:42:59 GMT -5 Yami Daimao said:

Cody Rhodes: Assassin

[DIIV]

[Sparkybob]

[ededdneddy]

The Day The World Tag Team Titles Lost All Value

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}

Every fan
Down in Mark-ville
Liked that rasslin' a lot...

But the Vince,
Who lived just North of Mark-ville,
Did NOT!

The Vince hated Rasslin'!
Despite Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. Only Steph knows the reason.
It could be that his quads weren't screwed in quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his pants were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart wasn't in it at all.

But,
Whatever the reason,
His heart or his pants,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the fans,
Staring down from his tower with a mean, Vincey frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every fan down in Mark-ville below,
Was busy now, bitching 'bout the last awful show.

"We should have sold Socko Stockings!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Vince fingers nervously drumming,
"I guaran-damn-tee I'll keep Christmas from coming!"
For, tomorrow, he knew...

...All the Fangirls and Fanboys
Would wake up bright and early. For their wrestling toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing Vince hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! (and Jim Ross)

Then the fans, young and old, would sit down by the set.
And they'd watch all the DVDs they were lucky to get!
And they'd watch! watch! watch! watch!
All their new DVDs
Of various Indys and bouts overseas.

And THEN
They'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Fan down in Mark-ville, the tall and the small,
Would tune into Raw, and find the show boring.
They'd then nod their heads forward. And the Fans would start snoring!

They'd snore! And they'd snore!
AND they'd Snore! Snore! Snore! Snore!
And the more the Vince thought of the big Christmas-nap
The more the Vince thought, "I'll just book much more crap!
"Why for year upon years I've made fans all say "wow!"
Disrespect me? Then I'll kill Christmas!
I'm just wondering... HOW?"

Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE Vince
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just what to do!" The Vince laughed with disdain.
And he made a quick Santa costume and called up son Shane.
Little Mac saw and chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Vincey trick!
"Aside from your crazy eyes, you look just like Saint Nick!"

"All I need is a reindeer..."
The Vince looked around.
But Connecticut Reindeer are rarely found.
Did that stop the old Vince...?
No! The Vince simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make Ace one instead!"
So he called his boy Johnny and grabbed the old boogeyman threads
And he tied the big horn on his Dynamic head.

THEN
He fired some midcarders
To free up some dough
But had Reindeer John do it,
Cause he liked it, ya know,

Then the Grinch said, "No chance!"
And the sleigh flew like hell
Toward the homes where the fans
watched the Taker no-sell.

Then he slid down the first chimney. A rather tight pinch.
What with such a big jackhammer attached to the Vince.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue
Where the little fan stockings all hung by the trees.
"They'll have to like Raw, once I take their DVDs!"

Then he swaggered and fell, much like this year's Rumble,
His knees, they both buckled, and he took a tumble!
ROH! New Japan! Pride! FIP!
TNA! Tons of Shoots! And was this...UFC?!
And he stuffed them tightly in bags, All the discs were so shiny,
Now belonging to Santa, played by Dr. Heiney!

Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the fans' feast!
He took the Marks' Ice Cream! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that icebox like the American Dream.
Why, that Vince even took their last can of -hee hee - ass cream!

Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
"Now I'll have Hunter come over to dry hump their tree!"

And the Vince grabbed his phone, and he dialed the Game
When he heard a small sound which he thought was just Shane.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small fan!
Little Markina-Smark Fan, who just stared at McMahon.

The Vince had been caught by this little fan daughter
Who'd got out of bed to check Smackdown Spoilers.
She stared at the Vince and said, "Santy Claus, why,
"Why are you raping our Christmas tree? WHY?"

But, you know, that old Vince was so smart don't ya know
He thought up a story, as good as the ones on his shows!
"Why, my sweet little ho," the fake Santy Claus lied,
"This tree's full of poopies and must kiss my backside.
"Then we'll job it to Hunter, and then put it on Heat.
"Then we'll trademark its name. Leave it broke on the street."

And his rib fooled the child. Then he patted her butt
And he called her a Diva and then chanted "slut."
And when Markina-Smart Mark finally went to sleep,
He smiled and thought, "Just keep watching, you sheep"

Then the last thing he took
Was their table and chairs.
"If I took from the Dudleys, then I'll surely take theirs."

And the one speck of wrestling
That he left in the house
Was an old VHS of the third In Your House.

Then
He did the same thing
To the other Fans' homes

Leaving nothing
but videos
Of old crap he owned!


He then packed up his sled with their good wrestling DVDs!
"They'll HAVE TO like Raw, if it's all they have on TV!"

Three thousand feet up! On the fourth floor of the tower,
He rode to the tiptop and it took an hour!
"Screw all the fans!" he was Vince-ish-ly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"They'll bitch and they'll moan for a minute or two
"The all the fans down in Mark-ville will cry "Wrestling? Boo!"

"That's the stuff," grinned the Vince,
"They'll applaud once again!"
So he stopped and prepared for a rating of 10.
And he did hear a sound ringing out through show.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...

But the sound wasn't cheering!
Why, this sound sounded sleepy!
It couldn't be so!
But during Kurt Angle's bleeping...

Snores down in Mark-ville!
The Vince popped his eyes!
Then he turned bright red!
And sat in surprise!

Every Fan down in Mark-ville, the big and the small,
Were snoring! What the hell?! What the gall!
He HAD'T stopped Christmas from coming!
IT CAME!
But even without an alternative, they snored just the same!

And the Vince, with his yellow suit stood in the ring,
He was puzzling and puzzling: "What's wrong with this thing?
I pushed all my realtives! It didn't quite work.
"Maybe I act too damn arrogant, like a real-life big jerk!"
And he puzzled three hours, `till his poor head was sore.
Then the Vince thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe wrestling," he thought, "ain't about vanity.
"Maybe wrestling belongs to the fans... before me."

And what happened then...?
Well...in Mark-ville they say
That the Vince's tight pants
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his pants didn't feel quite so tight,
He walked without staggering to Mark-ville. That's right.
And he brought back the discs! And the food for the feast!
And he...

...HE HIMSELF...

The Vince...

...killed them all with a sledgehammer.


The End

[Jimmy]

[George.]

Dec 25, 2012 22:16:17 GMT -5 Sparkybob said:

Undertaker while hitting Paul: "STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!"

[unoriginalalex]

Dec 26, 2012 4:56:22 GMT -5 Jimmy said:

Strange. Why is Swagger in space?

[The Man They Call Asher]

Dec 25, 2012 16:17:17 GMT -5 Wolf Hurricane said:

Mind if I sig this?

[Deleted]

i50.tinypic.com/1zpl2z5.gif
[/img]

[Deleted]

[Jimmy]

Dec 26, 2012 8:10:02 GMT -5 unoriginalalex said:

Dec 26, 2012 4:56:22 GMT -5 Jimmy said:

Strange. Why is Swagger in space?

withleather.uproxx.com/2012/09/the-best-and-worst-of-wwe-raw-9312/4

[Deleted]

[Deleted]

Dec 26, 2012 9:32:18 GMT -5 @hobojack said:

That's actually a grande coffee, it's just that Khali has enormous fingers.

[unoriginalalex]

Dec 26, 2012 9:08:22 GMT -5 Jimmy said:

Dec 26, 2012 8:10:02 GMT -5 unoriginalalex said:

Strange. Why is Swagger in space?

withleather.uproxx.com/2012/09/the-best-and-worst-of-wwe-raw-9312/4

I liked that, thanks! I might start reading every week if I can remember too!

[Deleted]