Post by BlackoutCreature on Dec 30, 2012 19:47:07 GMT -5
Nobody, he'll just show up every week asking for "one more chance" to beat somebody to get a contract, and every week whoevers in charge of the show will give him it, and he'll lose. After twenty or so years of this he'll quietly retire.
To be honest, I really think the WWE has let this angle drag on way too long. If he had gotten a flukey, screw job victory the first or second time this happened he might've gotten some decent heat to run with. But now by the time he actually does win a match just plain nobody will care anymore.
Kofi by fluke, then he goads Kofi into a rematch with the IC title on the line and wins, and then has a Honkey Tonk Man like run where he is always getting the crap beat out of him but he still wins
This I could see happening. He will be the slippery eel that no one can pin. So why not go a similar route, a generation later? ...and we can cheer like damn fools every time he gets his ass kicked.
Think about it, he's already been the rogue referee, ala Dangerous Danny Davis. ...and he was beaten half to death by Ryback, just as Davis was when Dave Boy Smith finally got his hands on him. Now he can be this generations no-talent Honky Tonk Man.
Brad can insult the fans just like Honky did, telling us how "I love all my fans, especially you guys up there in the cheap seats!"
Squirrel Master: "Back up Nasty Nate, this my bitch! If anyone's gonna stab, it's gonna be me!"
Nasty Nate: "Better watch your back Fish! Squirrel Master ain't gonna be there for you all the time. Next time I come for you, I'm gonna want some cocktail... FRUIT!"
Kenny: (as he walks away with Squirrel Master) "I'm somebody's bitch!"
Post by CATCH_US IS the Conversation on Dec 31, 2012 14:30:45 GMT -5
Brad Maddox comes out. He's lost all hope. At this point, his matches feel like a cruel joke.
"So who's it gonna be? Which former World Champion is going to squash me like a bug tonight? Who's the giant monster who's gonna toss me around like a rag doll? Is Ryback going to eat me yet again to satisfy his appetite? Am I going to have to face Team Hell NO two on one while they argue over which one of them is better at kicking my ass? Is it gonna be Albert? Oops, they're gonna be mad that I said the forbidden name. I meant to say Tensai, but it doesn't matter because I'm gonna die anyway. We all know that the person who walks down that ramp is gonna be someone who I have absolutely no chance at beating."
*WOO WOO WOO, YOU KNOW IT!!! OOOOOHHHHHH RADIOOOOOO, TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW*
Maddox starts laughing and busting out in tears of joy.
"Oh my god. I can't believe it. The wrestling gods have smiled down on me. I have to win this. I mean, come on, it's Zack Ryder. If I can't beat a loser like you, I'm done. I'm finished. My dream of being a WWE Superstar will be over."
A pissed and serious Zack snatches the mic from Maddox.
"You're right, I am a big loser. That's why I went to <authority figure> and asked if I could face you tonight. Because maybe I'd feel better about my self if I saw someone who was a bigger jobber than I am. I've had a rough year. This might be my one and only chance to redeem myself. If I lose to you, then I'm finished. I'll be a joke, and there's no chance of me ever being taken seriously."
Ryder and Maddox then put on an epic 20 minute match filled with drama and finisher kickouts. They are putting their hearts into this contest, because both of them have such little credibility that neither wants to suffer the embarrassment of losing to the other.
Maddox ultimately gets the win. He celebrates his way up the ramp. Once Maddox is gone, Ryder is left alone in the ring, looking dejected and defeated. He realizes that after months of jobbing to bigger names, he's faced the ultimate humiliation: being a speed bump for Brad Maddox of all people. He walks up the ramp sadly, trying to hold back tears as he laments over his career.