so what should I do guys?

[EvenBaldobombHasAJob]

the thread about social life made me think a bit.

I used to have this friend in high school who was a BFF type of guy, we did everything together. as we got older we drifted a bit, but then he got mad at me one day, told a bunch of his friends he thought I was gay for some reason, and broke off all contact with me. to this day I don't really know why.

well fast forward a few years and I run into him and he tells me he and his high school sweetheart are getting married and I'm invited. he gives me his number and says he wants to hang. honestly his abandonment of me made me pretty mad, and I was still hurt that he went around accusing me of being gay for him (at the time I was really confused because of something that happened to me as a kid, though these days I know in my heart of hearts I'm straight). so I didn't really know what to do at first, but then I thought "what the hell" and made plans with him to hang out and have a drink or 2, get re-acquainted. well, the big day arrives and he starts giving me the run-around, which he always used to do when he didn't feel like hanging out. I figure "y;know I got other friends who never hurt me and they're cool people and are always there for me" so I said "f*** it" and never talked to him again. he gets married and doesn't even send me an invite even though he said he wanted me to be there. I wash my hands of it and go on with my life.

a couple weeks back I run into him again and we have a little conversation, he says he wants to reconnect and gives me his cell number. at present I don't have the same large circle of friends I had a few years back, I mostly keep to myself, and I guess I'm ok with that, but in the back of my head I keep wondering if I should give him a call. I mean the same thing might happen all over again, and if it does I wouldn't really be hurt or anything because it's what I expect of him at this point. but there's that part of me that still wants to talk to him and find out what the hell it was that made him freak out and push me away in the first place. I guess I'm still mad about it and I'd like some closure, because I often dream of us still being friends and I want answers. but it'd be weird to talk to him and immediately bring this stuff up. and another part of me says "he hasn't changed he's still a flake and you should just forget about it". so what do you guys think I should do?

[Toxik916]

f*** that! Get new friends and move on.

[TCA]

It's a difficult situation.
Closure would be nice though. If I was in your shoes I'd probably reconnect because there is the chance you might get your answers, as well as an old friend back.

[Hit Girl]

There's something I'd like to say here, but I can't.



So I'll just say, stay away from the guy.

["I'm Batman..."]

Yeah, f*** that dude.

[Juice]

I read the thread title as "so should I do guys?" and thought I was coming into a joke thread.

No dude f*** that, I had a friend who similar to this fella gave me the run around like I was a chore to hang out with, even though I always felt like I was doing him a favor by being his friend. Why bother, frankly I have beaten people up for less than what you describe here. He seems like a douche, get new friends, better friends.

[SEAN CARLESS]

Dec 27, 2012 23:00:36 GMT -5 EvenBaldobombHasAJob said:

the thread about social life made me think a bit.

I used to have this friend in high school who was a BFF type of guy, we did everything together. as we got older we drifted a bit, but then he got mad at me one day, told a bunch of his friends he thought I was gay for some reason, and broke off all contact with me. to this day I don't really know why.

well fast forward a few years and I run into him and he tells me he and his high school sweetheart are getting married and I'm invited. he gives me his number and says he wants to hang. honestly his abandonment of me made me pretty mad, and I was still hurt that he went around accusing me of being gay for him (at the time I was really confused because of something that happened to me as a kid, though these days I know in my heart of hearts I'm straight). so I didn't really know what to do at first, but then I thought "what the hell" and made plans with him to hang out and have a drink or 2, get re-acquainted. well, the big day arrives and he starts giving me the run-around, which he always used to do when he didn't feel like hanging out. I figure "y;know I got other friends who never hurt me and they're cool people and are always there for me" so I said "f*** it" and never talked to him again. he gets married and doesn't even send me an invite even though he said he wanted me to be there. I wash my hands of it and go on with my life.

a couple weeks back I run into him again and we have a little conversation, he says he wants to reconnect and gives me his cell number. at present I don't have the same large circle of friends I had a few years back, I mostly keep to myself, and I guess I'm ok with that, but in the back of my head I keep wondering if I should give him a call. I mean the same thing might happen all over again, and if it does I wouldn't really be hurt or anything because it's what I expect of him at this point. but there's that part of me that still wants to talk to him and find out what the hell it was that made him freak out and push me away in the first place. I guess I'm still mad about it and I'd like some closure, because I often dream of us still being friends and I want answers. but it'd be weird to talk to him and immediately bring this stuff up. and another part of me says "he hasn't changed he's still a flake and you should just forget about it". so what do you guys think I should do?

Have you ever thought that maybe he's the one who's gay? And his turning on you in that manner and wishy washy reactions to you recently is him actually coming to terms and/or struggling with certain feelings he may be having (or needs to resolve)?

[J.O.B. Squad]

I had a best friend who did this stuff I ended up just no longer talking to him since he wasn't putting any effort into our friendship and I feel better for it even though some days I miss having him around,It never gets easier but some just move on and the best thing you can do is just try to cope with it as best as possible,I wish you the best man.

[Corporate H]

I question why you haven't brought up these issues initially when you same him if not the first time then the second encounter. Then again, I'm a stubborn prick with no filter on my mouth.

[Piccolo]

Dec 28, 2012 3:23:02 GMT -5 SEAN CARLESS said:

Have you ever thought that maybe he's the one who's gay? And his turning on you in that manner and wishy washy reactions to you recently is him actually coming to terms and/or struggling with certain feelings he may be having (or needs to resolve)?

Yep, that was my first thought. It would explain a lot about this story.

[EvenBaldobombHasAJob]

Dec 28, 2012 3:23:02 GMT -5 SEAN CARLESS said:

Dec 27, 2012 23:00:36 GMT -5 EvenBaldobombHasAJob said:

the thread about social life made me think a bit.

I used to have this friend in high school who was a BFF type of guy, we did everything together. as we got older we drifted a bit, but then he got mad at me one day, told a bunch of his friends he thought I was gay for some reason, and broke off all contact with me. to this day I don't really know why.

well fast forward a few years and I run into him and he tells me he and his high school sweetheart are getting married and I'm invited. he gives me his number and says he wants to hang. honestly his abandonment of me made me pretty mad, and I was still hurt that he went around accusing me of being gay for him (at the time I was really confused because of something that happened to me as a kid, though these days I know in my heart of hearts I'm straight). so I didn't really know what to do at first, but then I thought "what the hell" and made plans with him to hang out and have a drink or 2, get re-acquainted. well, the big day arrives and he starts giving me the run-around, which he always used to do when he didn't feel like hanging out. I figure "y;know I got other friends who never hurt me and they're cool people and are always there for me" so I said "f*** it" and never talked to him again. he gets married and doesn't even send me an invite even though he said he wanted me to be there. I wash my hands of it and go on with my life.

a couple weeks back I run into him again and we have a little conversation, he says he wants to reconnect and gives me his cell number. at present I don't have the same large circle of friends I had a few years back, I mostly keep to myself, and I guess I'm ok with that, but in the back of my head I keep wondering if I should give him a call. I mean the same thing might happen all over again, and if it does I wouldn't really be hurt or anything because it's what I expect of him at this point. but there's that part of me that still wants to talk to him and find out what the hell it was that made him freak out and push me away in the first place. I guess I'm still mad about it and I'd like some closure, because I often dream of us still being friends and I want answers. but it'd be weird to talk to him and immediately bring this stuff up. and another part of me says "he hasn't changed he's still a flake and you should just forget about it". so what do you guys think I should do?

Have you ever thought that maybe he's the one who's gay? And his turning on you in that manner and wishy washy reactions to you recently is him actually coming to terms and/or struggling with certain feelings he may be having (or needs to resolve)?

not gonna deny the thought's crossed my mind a couple times. I mean, he basically clung for dear life to the first girl who showed interest in him, and his parents are pretty strict so it may have given him a complex about things.

I think I'll take everyone's advice. if he wants to be friends he'll have to call me.