King Ghidorah
El Dandy
On Probation for Charges of two counts of Saxual Music.
How Absurd
Posts: 8,330
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Post by King Ghidorah on Dec 30, 2012 21:05:44 GMT -5
You messed up medieval FAN, you stole some fruit and now you're going to get messed up. Our merciful King *that's me* has allowed you to choose your form of torture. How about the Pear of Anquish!
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Krazee
Salacious Crumb
Posts: 71,547
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Post by Krazee on Dec 30, 2012 21:16:12 GMT -5
i choose the rack
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Post by Savage Gambino on Dec 30, 2012 21:28:55 GMT -5
What the f***, Ghidorah!
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Post by DZ: WF Legacy on Dec 30, 2012 21:33:21 GMT -5
I'm a Judas Cradle man, myself.
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Brood Lone Wolf Funker
Ozymandius
Got fined anyway. Possibly a Moose
James Franco is the white Donald Glover
Posts: 61,211
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Post by Brood Lone Wolf Funker on Dec 30, 2012 21:54:13 GMT -5
What no love for the brass bull or the wicker man or the Iron Maiden
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Post by YAKMAN is ICHIBAN on Dec 30, 2012 22:04:00 GMT -5
LEMON STEALING WHORE!
Also, many medieval torture devices were wholesale made-up to sell tickets to shows like Ripley's Believe it or Not, etc.
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Post by Starshine on Dec 30, 2012 22:12:58 GMT -5
Crucifixion. It's better than being stabbed.
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Dec 30, 2012 22:30:27 GMT -5
What no love for the brass bull or the wicker man or the Iron Maiden Iron Maiden isn't medieval. Last I checked it was from the 1800s.
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The Ichi
Patti Mayonnaise
AGGRESSIVE Executive Janitor of the Third Floor Manager's Bathroom
Posts: 37,212
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Post by The Ichi on Dec 30, 2012 22:37:49 GMT -5
Judas Cradle.
...I'm kinky.
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Post by Captain Patren Fenderbaum-X on Dec 30, 2012 22:39:51 GMT -5
Breast Ripper sounds the most survivable so that.
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kidglov3s
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Wants her Shot
Who is Tiger Maskooo?
Posts: 15,870
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Post by kidglov3s on Dec 30, 2012 23:16:17 GMT -5
This is just depressing.
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Post by aka Cthulhu on Dec 30, 2012 23:24:18 GMT -5
Damn it, GHIDORAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
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King Ghidorah
El Dandy
On Probation for Charges of two counts of Saxual Music.
How Absurd
Posts: 8,330
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Post by King Ghidorah on Dec 31, 2012 0:38:23 GMT -5
Pls, The Pear of Anquish.
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Post by Psy on Dec 31, 2012 0:51:42 GMT -5
What, no Brazen Bull?
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Yami Daimao
Patti Mayonnaise
Really, really wants to zigazig ah!
Posts: 31,784
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Post by Yami Daimao on Dec 31, 2012 1:00:30 GMT -5
Surprise me. *grin*
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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Dec 31, 2012 1:07:50 GMT -5
Crucifixion. It's better than being stabbed. Stabbed? That's instant, crucifixion takes hours!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2012 2:57:34 GMT -5
Saw Torture sounds like something that was either conceived off because all the other torturing devices were broken or in use or someone was lazy that day.
Like the executioner's all "MWWWAAAAAHHHAAAA, you foul wretch who tried to assassinate the king, come with me to the Coffin Torture, where you'll be put into a metal cage shaped like a body, much too small for a comfortable fit, where you'll be pecked at by birds until you shuffle off this mortal coil!"
and "Come here my dear! You foul strumpet, for being the Devil's concubine and whispering your arcane blasphemies, you'll find your punishment meted out by the Breast Ripper! Claws placed red hot on breasts (three by my reckoning) will rip and shred them, a fitting end for a witch such as you!"
but then it's like, "OHHH HOOO!! Hunting in the King's Forest again, eh Parson! Well for your indiscretion, you'll suffer the ultimate indignity as (looks around, sees the other devices being used) as... well the Breaking Wheel will, much like the great Wheel of Fortune, turn and turn and crush you to a fine past..., wait, there's someone on it now. Well, then, the Headcrusher will be a fine substitute, compressing your head, breaking your teeth, squeezing your eyes out of their socket, a fitting reward for someone so blind as to.... wait, that's down?!? What do you mean, it doesn't crush so much as clamps down ever since we Headcrushed the dwarf?..... fine, well, release the Birds then, yes, the Birds... what, out of birds?
Fine, just hanging him up by his feet and run a saw down him, I don't know. We have a saw, right? Good, well splendid. Off you go."
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Hurbster
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 7,142
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Post by Hurbster on Dec 31, 2012 10:04:24 GMT -5
It's another depressing thread, that's a surprizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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TCA
Don Corleone
Always on my mind
Posts: 1,401
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Post by TCA on Dec 31, 2012 10:18:50 GMT -5
Either the breast ripper, the pear of anguish or the coffin torture with the birds. All sound painful but not deadly (like the others are).
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Legion
Fry's dog Seymour
Amy Pond's #1 fan
Hail Hydra!
Posts: 22,354
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Post by Legion on Dec 31, 2012 10:25:08 GMT -5
I was always partial to the Spanish Boot myself:
"The Spanish boot was an iron casing for the leg and foot. Wood or iron wedges were hammered in between the casing and the victim's flesh. A similar device, commonly referred to as a shin crusher, squeezed the calf between two curved iron plates, studded with spikes, teeth, and knobs, to fracture the tibia and fibula."
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