FAWA: Drakin versus Richlen Caught Fire! (p39-40)

[Gus Richlen: Ruffian]

Yeah, trying to get match done but I've been too tired to write much of anythinbg lately. You'll still get the match but either it'll be late or it'll not be up to par with how I know I can do.

[BoilerRoomBrawler]

E-DAY

TH: Welcome everyone to another spectacular show of the FAWA. We’re coming at you live from the Parts Unknown Center in Parts Unknown, New Mexico!

I’m “Gorilla” Tim Hoss and with me as always on color commentary is Jesse King.
JK: You got that right.
TH: We have a hell of show coming up. Michael Hayden will take on Anthony Travizzo in a sure-to-please crowd pleaser for a shot at the Television Title.
JK: They’ve fought before.
TH: Then Gus “The Predator” Richlen takes on the new Television Champ Jan Hamala.
JK: Gus is a rabid animal in the ring. He’s a far cry from Michael Hayden but Hamala will find that out soon enough.
TH: And then we conclude with our main event as The Dream Team – Scott Martin and The Dream – take on FAWA Management themselves – the CEO Jeremy Dupoe and Disturbance – in a bout for the Tag Team Titles.
JK: Some think that the EWT’s own “Comedian” Bobby Riggs orchestrated the animosity, but we all know that it started at-

*Disturbance!BRB pins The Dream down and holds onto a rope for the win. CUT TO: Disturbance!BRB and Jeremy Dupoe celebrating in the ring.

JK: Gookermania VI when Disturbance pinned The Dream in a controversial finish.
TH: Controversial is the least of it. Many say there’s no way it could have happened if Disturbance didn’t use his Majority Shareholdings to instate the Reign of Chaos.
JK: The rules are the rules and nowhere in the rules does it say you can cry.
TH: But tonight, they get a chance, a rematch, to take back the straps and fight the powers that be.
JK: You got that right, Gorilla. It’s what the fans want to see.
TH: We got all that and more lined up for you, but first a word from our sponsors…

www.video.com/watch?v=jfLHKDJD9yI

[BoilerRoomBrawler]

E-DAY
ANTHONY TRAVIZZO VERSUS MICHAEL HAYDEN

DING! DING! DING!

MM: Ladies and gentlemen of the FAWA Galaxy, the following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing the first contestant...

TH: Welcome back to the show, ladies and gentlemen. It’s our opening match of the night about to kick off.
JK: The Television Title scene has been small but competitive. It’s all about winning and moving up the FAWA ladder.

*Anthony Travizzo exits the curtain with a look of disdain for the crowd.*

MM: From Murray Hill in Little Italy in Cleveland Ohio, weighing 236lbs, he is Anthony Travizzo!
TH: Anthony Travizzo, a hot, young scrapper out of Little Italy, is here to take on Michael Hayden again.
JK: He’s brash and he’s a brawler and he’s got the clear weight advantage on his opponent.

*Travizzo stops halfway down the ramp and outstretches his arms.*

TH: Look at him smirk.
JK: The crowd may boo him, but he knows how tough he is. He has his eyes on the prize; the Television Title.

*Travizzo continues for the ring.*

TH: He recently faced Michael Hayden for the Television Title itself but now here he is ready to take him on for another shot at it.
JK: We’re certain to see a different match than last time. Hayden’s on the comeback trail against a hungry wolf.

*Travizzo stops at the steps takes off his shirt/gold, wipes his boots on the apron.*

TH: A hungry wolf can be a weak wolf though.
JK: But it can be positively vicious too.

*The arena flashes blue and white.*

*Michael Hayden emerges, his head turned to the side as he looks over the captive crowd.*

TH: Michael Hayden, the heretofore Television Champion himself. Recently defeated by Jan Hamala, and now he has to take on the Italian-
JK: Don’t say stallion, TH.
TH: -stuh, um. Anthony Travizzo. Um…

MM: Introducing his next opponent: from Santa Monica Boulevard in Hollywood, California, weighing 192lbs: "Hollywood's Own" Michael HAY-den!

*Hayden makes his way to the ring typically focusing more on the audience than the opponent. As he gets to the ring, Hayden slides into the ring before going to the nearest turnbuckle, hands outstretched as he tilts his head back. *

JK: You wouldn’t know from looking that he’s not the champ. He’s got the charm and he’s got the poise.
TH: Here comes Travizzo to bring it crashing down!

*Travizzo grabs Hayden from behind and pulls him off of the second rope.*

DING! DING! DING!

JK: He’s got the killer instinct in him. I love it.
TH: Travizzo with a bionic elbow! And another!
JK: He’s rocking Hollywood’s Own with a full frontal assault!
TH: To the ropes! And “Welcome to the Neighborhood!

*Hayden is down from Travizzo’s signature lariat. Travizzo drops down.*

TH: Travizzo hooks the leg!

One!

Two!

No!
JK: An ambush and ruthless aggression…

*Travizzo stands up while Hayden lays on the ground.*

JK: But Hayden’s not going down nearly so easily.


*Hayden kips up and -*

TH: Hayden with a Hurricanrana! No, wait!

*Hayden falls back down with Travizzo head still locked in.*

JK: Looks like he botched something there.
TH: No! He's going for a Gogoplata!
JK: You're right!
TH: He calls it the end, but this match has barely begun!
JK: It's a gambit, but as Hayden will tell you no one has yet escaped it.

*Travizzo struggles to slip out.*

TH: Hayden's got it locked in tight. Travizzo's in for a rough night.
JK: He's still fresh though.
TH: But so is Hayden.
JK: Yes, but Travizzo has time.

*Travizzo pushes forward.*

TH: He's trying to make his way to the ropes.
JK: Hayden will reach them first and the Reign of Chaos still continues. It's only to his advantage.
TH: Hayden is like a roadblock though. Travizzo can't move much further.

*Travizzo reaches out for the ropes to no avail.*

TH: Travizzo is trapped!
JK: Michael Hayden definitely capitalized at just the right time.

*Travizzo clenches his teeth.*

JK: And that's what counts the most.
TH: He looks like he can't hold out much longer...
JK: Looks like he's trying something else.

*Travizzo forces himself up.*

TH: He's trying to stand up, but Hayden's still got him.
JK: Hayden reinforcing the hold now by grabbing the ropes. That's a smart play.
TH: He can't be disqualified for it either.
JK: It was a terrible ploy on the part of Travizzo.
TH: How much longer can he last?

*Travizzo tries to pull away from the ropes.*

TH: Hayden's suspended in the air.
JK: He's got a deathgrip on that rope.
TH: But wait!

*Hayden suddenly releases the rope and is mildly slammed back down.*

JK: Why didn't Travizzo capitalize on that?
TH: I think he's fading!
JK: I think you're right...

*Travizzo starts crumbling to his knees and stops struggling. Referee "Spud" Verne Johnson lifts his arm and drops it.*

ONE!

JK: Travizzo went in with such fervor.

TWO!

TH: Hayden either had a plan or he just lucked out here.
JK: Always have a plan, always be ready to adapt.

THREE!

DING! DING! DING!

JK: He doesn't call it "The End" for nothing.

*Hayden releases Travizzo.*

TH: The End claims a victim and has yet to be escaped.
JK: Bit of an anticlimax though. I would have thought that Hollywood's own would try to be more sporting.

MM: Here is your winner as a result of a submission: "Hollywood's Own" Michael Hay-den!!

*Hayden smiles as his arm is lifted in victory.*

JK: He lost the strap last week, but next week he’s getting his next shot at it.
TH: But who will he face? Will it be Jan Hamala again, or will it be Gus “The Predator” Richlen?
JK: I don’t know, but I hope the FAWA Galaxy knows what to do.
TH: That’s right. Stay tuned and find out when we return.

[Gus Richlen: Ruffian]

OK, my match WILL be done tonight. No excuses.

[The Blue Nova]

Hey I was wondering if i could be booked for the next show?

[Waffel113]

Welcome back that guy!

[BoilerRoomBrawler]

Ah, the good ole curse of the holiday season... It's even got me too tied up.

[BoilerRoomBrawler]

Dec 14, 2013 22:31:03 GMT -5 The Blue Nova said:

Hey I was wondering if i could be booked for the next show?

Write me a promo, squash - whatever you like - I'll put it up for the show (which isn't over). Then I'll book you for the next week. Keep the TV Title scene running.

Speaking of which, Seth, JoNo, I believe your estimate was another two shows before the match. Think you can get a promo together for this one? At this rate we might luck out and conclude the year with the World Heavyweight Championship. Would be nice to have one to start the new year off.

[Seth Drakin of Monster Crap]

Dec 15, 2013 2:15:55 GMT -5 BoilerRoomBrawler said:

Dec 14, 2013 22:31:03 GMT -5 The Blue Nova said:

Hey I was wondering if i could be booked for the next show?

Write me a promo, squash - whatever you like - I'll put it up for the show (which isn't over). Then I'll book you for the next week. Keep the TV Title scene running.

Speaking of which, Seth, JoNo, I believe your estimate was another two shows before the match. Think you can get a promo together for this one? At this rate we might luck out and conclude the year with the World Heavyweight Championship. Would be nice to have one to start the new year off.

I can see what Jono is up to, but I'm game.

[Oak: Certified Jade Hater]

I do have 60 points if needed....

[Gus Richlen: Ruffian]

OK, I'll get my match done, sorry for the LONG delay. But after that and the other EvangeliAnt squash next week, I'm taking a break from match writing. I've been incredibly tired lately, and between FAWA, the Colony, NGIW, FFW, SVW, WWE:FAN, TNA:FAN, and the fanfics I'm having writer's block on, I just have no motivation. I'll still RP but I need to step back for a while as far as match writing.

[Gus Richlen: Ruffian]

All I need to do is add commentary and it'll FINALLY be in tonight.

[Gus Richlen: Ruffian]

Match done, gonna send a segment for Shaelin and Mary if I can.

[The Man They Call Asher]

Just wondering where we're at with the rest of the show. Any idea when the rest will be going up?

[BoilerRoomBrawler]

I should manage to post a bit more later today. Including the TV Title match.
----------------
MM: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Already In the ring, Justin Hole!

*Justin Hole scratches his ass.

Then a MASSIVE blast of red pyro goes off on the ramp.*



*The lights stay red as Asuka LAntGley Sohryu walks to the ring. She slides in and throws up the victory sign, causing more pyro to go off and Hole to blink again.*

MM: And his opponent, representing the EvangeliAnts and EWT, from Tokyo-3, Japan, weighing in at 120 pounds, Asuka LAntGley Sohryu!

*Jake Kwan calls for the bell and just like last week, Hole obliviously walks forward into a flurry of punches that knock him back a bit, allowing Asuka to use his shoulders for leverage to flip into a Germancanrana, and as he nosells and gets up, she throws in a SohryuSteiner!

Again Hole no-sells and gets up SCHWEIN!!!!

1!

2!

3!*

MM: Here is your winner, Asuka LAntGley Sohryu!

*Hole sells that like death as Asuka just shrugs...*

[BoilerRoomBrawler]

E-DAY

*We open on Mysth and Valérie Valentine walking backstage. From their casual attires, their sweat and the towels around their necks, we can deduce that they have just hit the gym. They're making small talk when suddenly, Mysth's entire body tenses up and what his mask lets us see of his expression gets dark. The camera pans, revealing what provoked that reaction: Rigg's partner in crime, Sorrow. Sorrow is just standing around, drinking water from a water cooler. Mysth takes a step forward before Valentine grabs his arm.*

Ivy: Hon... I really don't think you should...

Mysth: Don't worry, I just want to talk to him. He's not the one I'm out to fight.

*Mysth walks up to Sorrow and pokes his back. The big man stands up straight and turns around to face Mysth.*

Sorrow: *finishes drinking his water* Yes, can I help you?

Mysth: You can drop the pretend politeness act, Sorrow. Especially after what you did to me.

Sorrow: I have no grudge against you, Mysth. I was merely doing my job as The Comedian's bodyguard. After all, you did interrupt the Comedy Club with clearly hostile intentions. And you did attack me first. But I assure you that my actions were purely professional.

Mysth: Uh-huh. Look, I don't particularly want to fight you either so just tell me where I can find Riggs.

Sorrow: Are you seriously expecting a bodyguard to just give away the location of the man he is supposed to protect to someone who intends to hurt him?

Mysth: Why not? After all, he is a wrestler and so am I. It is only natural for us to arrange a fight between the two of us. Purely "professional" as you put it.

Sorrow: Well, I'm afraid I can't do that. You see, Mr. Riggs has a very big night tonight. He not only has another Comedy Club tonight, but he also has his FAWA debut. I'm afraid that he can't be bothered with small matters at the moment.

Mysth: *grabbing Sorrow's coat* "Small matters"?! Listen up you freak, the only thing stopping me from grabbing the nearest blunt object and finding new and creative ways to make you suffer with it is that I'm pretty sure you would enjoy it. But make no mistake, I can find ways to hurt you that even you couldn't stand. So if you want me to remain somewhat civilized, you'll tell me where I can find Riggs and settle my differences with him before I show you how big of a matter I am.

Sorrow: First off, I don't enjoy anything. I just merely endure this pathetic existence we call life. Second, I've forgotten more ways to hurt a person than you've ever thought of. So, don't try the torture schtick with me. And, finally, I told that I can't acquiesce that request. As I said, he has a lot on his plate and can't be bothered with the like of you. Now, if you want to wait till next week, then that should be fine. But, tonight... I'm afraid I can't help you.

Mysth: Well then, since you seem to also be his secretary, I guess you can at least take a message for me. But you see, I prefer my messages to be public letters, so how about I take YOU on in a match?

Sorrow: Oh!? You want to wrestle me? Now why would you want to do something like that?

Mysth: As I said, Riggs need to be sent a message, and we all know bodyguards prefer people to give THEM the message first. Also, you chokeslammed me last week!

Sorrow: True. But, haven't you seen me? And, haven't you seen you? Don't you realize how much of a massacre it would be if you were to get into the ring with me?

Mysth: HA HA HA HA! You know, for a guy who calls himself Sorrow, you're funnier than The Comedian! Don't you remember EWT? Don't you remember the many guys your size and more I made lie flat on the ground? Don't you remember how many absurdly tough battles in which I prevailed? Don't you remember Ferhago Crow and how I was the ONLY man who managed to beat him? Crushing guys like you is what I do. Tell you what: we wrestle tonight and if I beat you, you'll arrange a... "meeting" between Riggs and I. And if you beat me, I'll just drop everything right there and leave you guys be. Deal?

Sorrow: Very well. But, I'm only agreeing to this for one reason. And, I know what you're thinking. I know you think that I want to beat you up because I get off on that. But, I feel no enjoyment from beating up people. In fact, I feel no enjoyment at all. But, I do want to beat you up. I want to absolutely destroy you. And the reason is because of her. *points to Ivy* I want to see her cry I want her to break down in tears watching the torture and punishment I'm going to inflict on you. I want her soul to be absolutely destroyed looking that heap of injuries you will be after the match. You see, I know you aren't the type to cry. But, I do want to see if she is. I figure I can get one more person to embrace the beauty of apathy and depression. And, I figure she would be the right person to start with.

Mysth: I have never made Valérie cry once in the many years we've known each other and I don't intend to do so because of a failed comic's lackey. See you in the ring.

Sorrow: I look forward to it.

*Sorrow leaves and gives Valérie Valentine a look that creeps her out. She turns to Mysth.*

Ivy: Are you sure about what you're doing? I don't doubt that you'll beat him, but how can you be sure he'll keep his word?

Mysth: This guy clearly doesn't give enough of a damn about anything to lie. But even assuming he would, Riggs won't be able to ignore me any more once he sees the one thing standing between him and me lying on the mat.

[Waffel113]

Is...is that...is that another part of the show?

YAAAAAAY

[BoilerRoomBrawler]

TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP
GUS RICHLEN VERSUS JAN HAMALA

MM: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the FAWA Television Championship!

*The chanted intro of "My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark" haunts the darkened arena before the camera cuts to Gus Richlen walking through a crowd tunnel, surrounded by security on the way. The somewhat mixed reaction is quite evident as he emerges, but he cockily brushes invisible dirt off his shoulder as he goes over the barricade.*

MM: Introducing the challenger first, from Peshtigo, Wisconsin, weighing in at 197 pounds, he is the leader of Predator Nation, Gus "The Predator" Richlen!

TH: Whether you like Richlen or whether you hate him, it's hard to deny that he has everything it takes to become Television Champion, and in his mind, this is a must-win as he tries to make his way back to the top of the food chain.

JK: Oh, please! Richlen is a never-will-be who has fluked into absolutely everything he's ever accomplished, and after Hamala humiliates him tonight, I hope he gets permanently banned from ever competing in a ring again!

*Then the Iranian National Anthem starts and the mixed reaction turns to boos as Jan Hamala walks out with the Iranian flag and his FAWA Television Championship. He assumes the traditional Arabic warrior stance and goes through his usual routine-*

MM: And his opponent, from the Islamic Republic Of Iran, weighing in at 310 pounds, he is the FAWA Television Champion, Jan Hamala!

*-And the moment he gets on the apron, Richlen marches over and suplexes him in!

John Creed quickly calls for the bell as Richlen goes into an MMA half-guard position and starts laying into Hamala with elbow strikes and punches until Hamala manages to fight out of it and get to his feet, only to be met with a kick to the ribs. Richlen then follows it up with an attempt at an Irish whip, but Hamala latches on to the wrist and pulls him into a flapjack into a Samoan drop! Richlen starts to roll over but Hamala drops knee shots on him before pulling him up into a gutbuster!

1!

2!

Richlen kicks out, but Hamala deadlifts him into a German suplex!

1!

2!

Richlen gets the shoulder up, so Hamala pulls him up again, but Richlen surges forward and back body drops him! Hamala gets back up to his feet, but a dropkick sends him to the ropes, and as he's draped over the middle one, Richlen charges, but he runs right into a clothesline as Hamala quicky recovers and turns!

1!

2!

Again Richlen gets the shoulder up, so Hamala pulls him up, aiming for a tiger suplex, but Richlen pushes forward,s ending him into the corner! He starts throwing shoulder blows into the larger competitor's midsection, but Hamala shoves him back, and when Richlen moves forward to resume the shots, he gets dropkicked!

1!

2!

Once again it is Richlen who has to get the shoulder up, so Hamala goes to the top rope and dives forward, but Richlen rolls out of the way of the splash!*

TH: This match has been almost all Hamala up to this point, but Richlen may have finally found himself an opening!

JK: Hamala's justa little stunned, that's all! It won't take him long to recover and finish Richlen off for good!

*Hamala is stunned a bit by the miss and he rolls to his feet SPEAR!

1!

2!

Hamala grabs the bottom rope, but Richlen pulls him up, gets him over one shoulder and starts to run, but Hamala slips out, German- NO! Richlen backflips out and latches on for a German suplex of his own! Richlen doesn't let go though, and he deadlifts Hamala into a second German suplex! He starts to deadlift again, but Hamala breaks his grips and scoops him into a pendulum backbreaker!*

TH: And just like that, Richlen's comeback comes to a screeching halt!

*1!

2!

Richlen not only gets the shoulder up, he grabs Hamala by the throat, forcing him up! Hamala avoids the chokeslam however by latching onto the arm and dropping him for a Complete Shot! He then starts to roll Richlen over, but Richlen suddenly starts to wrap his arms around the larger man's neck and shoulder! Caught completely off guard by the attempted arm triangle choke, Hamala rolls back to his feet CARNOSEL!

1!

2!

HAMALA KICKS OUT!!!

Richlen, who is desperately trying to get in any offense he can, waits for Hamala to get up, then charges, but Hamala flapjacks him into a gutbuster! Richlen manages to somehow roll to his feet, but Hamala moves up for an enziguiri, only for Richlen to duck it and grab him by the throat again, but Hamala deadweights him on the chokeslam and goes for an STO- NO!!! Richlen ducks the arm and gets the double underhook, BLOOD WINGS!!! Hamala manages to somehow stay upright, however, and he turns SHOWTIME KICK!!!!

1!

2!

3!*

MM: Here is your winner and the NEW FAWA Television Champion, Gus "The Predator" Richlen!

NEW TELEVISION CHAMPION:
GUS “THE PREDATOR” RICHLEN

TH: Hamala came close several times to finishing this fight off, but all Richlen needed to win the Television Championship was one opening, and he made the most of it!

JK: This is utter disaster! What if he goes against his word and tries to hold it just long enough to cash it in? This company will die if he becomes World Champion again!

*Hamala eventually rolls out and heads back up the ramp, not at all happy that Richlen was able to snatch a victory, while in the ring, a mean smile reaches part of the new champ's face as he raises the belt up as we head to break.*

[BoilerRoomBrawler]

E-DAY

*“The Comedian” Bobby Riggs and Sorrow stand inside the ring. The Comedian has on a leather coat, white button up shirt and blue jeans. He’s holding his rubber chicken with the lead pipe in it and a bottle of water. Sorrow has on his trademark mask and all black clothes. Inside the ring, there are four tables with two chairs to each of them. Each table has glasses filled with clear liquids or brown liquids. There is a small platform in front of the tables and chairs. The Comedy-Tron 5000 hangs over the platform. On the platform is a mic stand with a microphone and two stools. The Comedian sits on one of the stools, with a mic in one hand and his trusty rubber chicken on a table next to him. Sorrow just stands next to him.*

Comedian: Welcome one and all once again to The Comedian’s Comedy Club. I am your host, “The Comedian” Bobby Riggs. And, as always, here is the Animal to my Hawk, Sorrow. Say hello, Sorrow.

Sorrow: *taking the mic* Hello. I hope you all had a horrible day. I hope you had a terrible day at work, possibly resulting in the loss of your job. I hope you and your family had a huge falling out that resulted in someone storming out to never be seen again. I hope your significant other left you for another or that you caught them both in bed together. I hope your children threw a fit today and told you that they don’t love you, that they despise you and want to runaway. I hope that you received some bad news from the doctor about those tests results. I hope your pet ran away or died. And, I hope some other terrible event transpired that would lead you to embrace the sweet release of depression. Because, all these things can and will inevitably happen. So, why wait? Just go ahead and shun happiness. Prepare yourself for the day that life hits you with a sledgehammer. That way it won’t seem that bad. Because preparation will make the bitter taste of reality go down.

Comedian: *taking the mic back* Boy, you’re just a big ball of sunshine tonight. Now for tonight’s guess. So, just who will be joining me tonight? Well, the answer is in this envelope. *pulls out an envelope from his coat pocket* I hold in my hand...the envelope! This envelope is hermetically sealed. It's been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk N Wagnall's porch since noon today. NO ONE knows the contents of this envelope, but I, in my borderline mystical way, will ascertain the contents without having to read what's inside!

*The Comedian holds the envelope up to his forehead and pretends as if he's telepathically reading what's inside.*

Comedian: The Laughing Policeman.

*Riggs rips the envelope open, pulls out a piece of paper and pretends to read from it.*

Comedian: What do you call a cop who frisks himself?

*Dead silence*

Comedian: May you fall asleep under a camel with post nasal drip.

Sorrow: You sure do know how to kill an audience.

Comedian: Thank you, Sorrow.

Sorrow: Yes, your jokes are so bad that they could be used as a military weapon.

Comedian: *sarcastically* Ha ha. Anyway, our guest tonight is… Victoria McGlade.

*The crowd carried on booing as the unstable 6ft Victoria McGlade from Newcastle, England smugly stepped onto the stage, wearing a black denim jacket with a black t-shirt with the union jack on the front and some grey jeans, the unstable Englishwoman laughed as she strutted onto the stage with an almost nervous twitch in her face as she stepped onto the ring apron, twirling the microphone in her hand as the 20 year old hopped into the ring over the top rope and giggled like a 5 year old kid as she smirks and says in her thick British accent.*

Victoria: Hey guys, since you guys love jokes, I've got a joke for you. What do you call something truly pathetic?

Comedian: -shrugs- Beats me.

Victoria: That FAWA ham-n-egger and that referee that I beat up.

*Victoria slaps her knee and laughs crazily as the crowd looks at the young woman in total silence*

Comedian: Ha ha… that’s… something. Anyway, so, I just have to say. This thing you do, beating up guys, I love it. It’s just fantastic. But, what I don’t get is the why? Why go after the men? Why not the ladies? Don’t you want to wrestle other women? Or, do you want to hold Andy Kaufman’s old Intergender Championship? What’s the deal? What’s going on?[/fomt]

Victoria: Very good question Bobby. You see, I get really bored easily and the poor little broads weren't lining up to get their faces pounded in, so I decided to go out there and make an impact, I think it's safe to say that we both made impacts in our first appearance in an FAWA ring eh Bobby?

*The crowd boos as Victoria snaps and angrily throws one of the chairs in the direction of the audience and screams*

Victoria: SHUT THE f*** UP YOU f***ING WANKERS!!!

Comedian: Whoa! Quite a firecracker, you are. You got some rage issues. I like that. But, I have to ask. Why so serious? What’s the cause of this fire in your belly?

Victoria: -laughs- so you want to know what causes this fire in my belly? well Bobby old buddy old pal allow me to tell you.

*Victoria laughs and throws her head back as she wraps her arm around the back of the Comedian in the way and old friend does and says*

Victoria: I don't really care about what gender it is, I just love gender equality when I break bones, when I see the look of pure fear in my opponents eyes because if you give me a fight, I'll be merciful and just break a bone where you can come back in a few months, but if you're not giving me a fight, not giving me a war and not giving me the beautiful death that I deserve, then you'll just have to die yourself in that ring.

Comedian: *shaking his head in agreement* Love it. Love everything about it. But, I just have to ask… What’s the endgame? Where do you see yourself in 5 years or so?

Victoria: Again, good question, I plan to just keep beating up everyone in my way, regardless of gender until I get noticed because even with only one match under my belt I've proved that I'm a total monster.

Comedian: Okay. Now, it’s not a bad plan. But, one little criticism—I do see a flaw in said plan. And, I’d like to point it out by drawing attention to my frowning friend here, Sorrow. *turns to Sorrow* As you can see, Sorrow is a big man. In fact, he’s six feet and nine inches tall and weighs in at three-hundred and five pounds. Now, you’re not a small woman. But, he does dwarf you in size. So, I was wondering—just what would you do when faced with someone of Sorrow’s stature?

Victoria: -Looks to Sorrow and chuckles before rolling her neck and saying- I completely understand where you're coming from, but I won't stop, I don't care how badly bruised and beaten I am because back in Newcastle, England, my home, I was getting my face beaten in during brawls in the football stands, or soccer stands as the Americans call it, but there is nothing that people can do to me that hasn't already happened.

But to answer your original question Bobby. I'd headbutt him, I'd kick him, I'd bite him, I'd choke him, I'd eat him! And after all of that I'd German Suplex him right on the top of his head and lariat him and win.

Sorrow: *chuckles* You honestly think you can hit me with a German suplex?

Victoria: Oh, you speak and you're capable of laughing. -Victoria steps up to Sorrow and smirks- I don't think I can German Suplex you, I f***ing KNOW I can!!

Sorrow: I’d like to see you try.

Victoria: -Laughs and suddenly head-butts Sorrow before leaping on the bigger man like a rabid dog with punches, headbutts and bites-

*Suddenly, Sorrow lifts Victoria off of him and bodyslams her into one of the tables. She lands with a loud crash as the table breaks under her. Sorrow shakes himself, trying to compose himself after the surprise attack.*

Sorrow: That bitch is crazy!

Comedian: I know! I like her!

-After a while, Victoria staggers up and smirks at Sorrow, flipping the man off as she says-

Victoria: Go on! Put me out of my misery! Kill me!! I'm begging you!

*Victoria rears back and spits at Sorrow in what seemed to be like a wrestling suicide mission. Sorrow just wipes the spit away. Then, he suddenly kicks her in the gut. When she doubles over, he picks her up and then drops her through another table with a jumping thunderfire powerbomb. She lands with another painful crash.*

Comedian: Oh man! The Path To Sorrow! Oh, the humanity!

*As Sorrow looks down at Victoria, the big man kicks the young girl out of the ring as Bobby looks to the larger man with an expression that reads 'Well, that escalated quickly'*

Comedian: Well, that was Victoria McGlade. Thanks for joining us on… um… this mortal coil. Anyway, that’s it for this edition of The Comedian’s Comedy Club. And, tune it a little bit later for my in-ring debut. Until then, please help control the pet population. Have your pets spayed or neutered. Good night.

[BoilerRoomBrawler]

*Meanwhile, backstage, some random guy from catering is pushing a cart down a hall when he hears a shuffling sound followed by ssniffing. He pushes the cart, but the noises follow him. Annoyed, he keep trying to push forward, but the cart suddenly won't budge.*

HONEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~YYYYYYY!!!!

Ugh, get out of the way-

*And that's when Shaelin's alter ego Super Lady Grizzly Warrior launches from the floor with a roar and knocks him down.

The next few moments are full of screaming and snarls until someone clears her throat.

SLGW stands up, picking a disheveled caterer up with her, and turns to face Mary Harper's alter ego Super Lady Vampire Warrior.*

Must we go through this again?

But Vampy, there was honey on the cart an' I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~ hungry an' it looked SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~ good an'-

For the last time, stop attacking the random mortals cursed with having to serve in the catering profession. And stop calling me Vampy. I do not know how many times I need to tell you this. Now let us depart.

*With that, SLVW grabs SLGW's paw and drags her away, the grizzly girl whimpering the entire time.*