Allie Kitsune
Crow T. Robot
Always Feelin' Foxy.
HaHa U FaLL 4 LaVa TriK
Posts: 46,849
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Post by Allie Kitsune on Dec 12, 2013 8:12:58 GMT -5
Orton wins because Bull Buchanan shows up, yanking Cena off the ladder and hauling off on him, screaming "YOU RUINED MY LIFE!!!" over and over again.
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Post by ritt works hard fo da chickens on Dec 12, 2013 10:21:14 GMT -5
Cena and Orton both grab the titles at the same time, then realize their hands are stuck to the belts. They start freaking out and struggling to break free. HHH comes out. "FINALLY!!! You fools never realized what this was about, did you? My goal was always to have the face of the WWE be the champion.... by hook or by crook!!! MWAHAHAHAH!" Suddenly a surge of electricity and eldritch magic flows through the belts. Cena and Orton disappear, in their place stands a figure clouded in smoke. "Finally, the blood sacrifice has been completed! FINALLY THE ROCK HAS COME BACK...... AS A DEMONIC HELL BEING WITH NO INTEREST IN OUTSIDE VENTURES!" The crowd begins popping like mad. Message boards argue over whether it's because it's the Rock or because he vanquished Cena and Orton. The rock points towards Hunter and produces a mike from somewhere. "Triple H get down to this ring. We have unfinished business." Trips slowly walks to the ring. He enters the ring and Rock walks right up to his face. Then Rock falls to one knee. "I await you're bidding my master." He says as his voice becomes deeper and raspy. "Have you captured the rebels?" asks Trips. "There have been ...complications my lord." Rock responds. Lesnar appears at the top of the stage in full mandalorian armor with CM Punk frozen in carbonite. "This one goes to Heyman to pay off a debt. I will find the rest for you after." Daniel Bryan with Mark Henry wearing nothing but a bandoleer and AJ Lee in a metal bikini appear on the Titontron. "You can surrender now and return my friend and I will let you live." Daniel says as his green lightsabre springs to life. And the PPV goes off the air. Tune in tomorrow night for the full TLC fallout on Monday night Raw.
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Turd Ferguson
Hank Scorpio
John Cena: Colossal Douche
Posts: 7,402
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Post by Turd Ferguson on Dec 12, 2013 10:43:58 GMT -5
The belts animate, remove themselves from the hook, and drop down to the ring. A terrified Cena and Orton hesitate for a moment before starting to run. The hesitation was all that was needed for the belts to catch the two of them and put them up on the hooks.
Triple H comes out, but all the titles from the past storm the arena and defeat him. Then Vince comes out and demands that the belts stop. They seem to cower, but then they whirlwind over the ring before settling down into the center in the shape of a pentagram. The pentagram turns into a fiery portal and a hooded figure rises up from it. The hooded figure telekinetically pulls Vince into the ring before him and forces him to kneel. He reveals himself as...
VINCENT J MCMAHON.
Vincent J complains about how Vincent K danced on his grave long enough, but while Vincent K went against his father's wishes and went national with his company, Vincent J expanded his own empire...IN HELL. Now Vincent J is the ruler of hell and says he will sacrifice his son to resurrect TOOTS MONDT as his ultimate hell weapon.
All lights suddenly go out in the arena, and both Vinces are knocked from the ring when a glowing blue portal opens up above the ring. A voice booms out, "TOOTS SHALL NOT BE RESURRECTED! YOU BOTH WILL BE REDEEMED!"
Out flies Vincent L McMahon, from the year 2099. He has come back to prevent Toots from crossing over into this realm, and to prevent the following cataclysm. Vincent J, Vincent K, and Vincent L all stand in the ring, facing off, as the PPV goes off the air and Cole begs us to tune into Raw.
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Dec 12, 2013 10:48:42 GMT -5
Just as Orton reaches for the belts, suddenly a time portal opens up over the ring. An older Randy Orton, with an eyepatch and a hook for a hand, steps out.
"Randy, trust me on this... you do NOT want to grab those belts."
*CUE OPENING CREDITS*
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SEAN CARLESS
Hank Scorpio
More of a B+ player, actually
I'm Necessary Evil.
Posts: 5,770
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Post by SEAN CARLESS on Dec 12, 2013 13:29:28 GMT -5
I'd rather they do this: tell Jasper Orton he's going to interfere and direct him to Gorilla position. But really behind the curtain is a space airlock door. Then said door seals over, the craft lifts off with Jasper in-tow and we're told it's on a trajectory to the sun. Sure, it'd cost WWE in excess of 5 billion. But I feel, as a fan of jettisoning worthless nepotistic good looking people into the vast abyss of oblivion, that it's financially/morally the right decision. because of course there's no chance he's actually talented. He could very well be. I just despise the concept of someone, with zero experience, with zero training, getting a developmental contract out of nowhere for shallow reasons. If like say Ted Dibiase Jr. or Curtis Axel he was trained first by Harley, and they see potential and sign and re-train them from there, then I have no problem with that. But just hiring some kid out of high school for a (cliched) look and last name is pretty lame.
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SEAN CARLESS
Hank Scorpio
More of a B+ player, actually
I'm Necessary Evil.
Posts: 5,770
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Post by SEAN CARLESS on Dec 12, 2013 13:39:54 GMT -5
Just as Orton reaches for the belts, suddenly a time portal opens up over the ring. An older Randy Orton, with an eyepatch and a hook for a hand, steps out. "Randy, trust me on this... you do NOT want to grab those belts." *CUE OPENING CREDITS* Or, I'd have Ric Flair show up in a Delorean from the future wearing a pair of Bret Hart shades. Cena: "Is it the match? Does something happen?" Ric: "No, the match is fine! Woooo! But your booking, John! Something has to be done about your booking!" Then Dusty Rhodes comes out because he fears a Dusty finish and Flair closes with: "Rhodes? Where we're going, we don't need Rhodes."
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Post by Friday Night SmackOwn on Dec 12, 2013 13:41:47 GMT -5
To promote the new Scooby-Doo special, a talking dog makes a run in and beats up both Cena and Orton, before taking both belts. "Scooby-Doo's the new Unified Champion!"
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Post by SCCB Was Told To Do Steroids on Dec 12, 2013 13:47:38 GMT -5
Why you all aren't sports-entertainment writers is a crime.
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Dec 12, 2013 14:39:49 GMT -5
Orton reveals his ace in the hole - he's wired the arena with explosives. If anyone other than him touches the belt, then the whole place is going to explode.
Cena has no idea what to do - either save the lives of thousands of people and let Orton's reign of terror continue, or end his title reign and kill thousands. Suddenly he remembers his training from "The Marine" and "12 Rounds".
"Okay Randy, I really have to GIVE YOU A HAND for that one" As he rips of Orton's arm.
"You're looking a little DISARMED, huh buddy?" As he rips off the other one.
Then he uses Orton's arms to grab the title. Cena walks out as champ, and the building is safe. He has just one last thign to do.
"Oh by the way Randy, ICE TO SEE YOU" then he bashes him with a steel chair until he's just a stain on the mat.
"Sorry, couldn't think of a good chair based pun."
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Post by bootytea on Dec 12, 2013 16:46:30 GMT -5
For once, I would like there to be an occasion where there is a lighting bolt that renders the participants unconcscience.
Something like that would draw my interest because this feud does nothing for me.
If John or Randy win, it will be the same thing we have seen already..
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Post by Topher is Human on Dec 13, 2013 6:17:29 GMT -5
As Randy Orton climbs the ladder, a spiritual being that looks like Ric Flair appears before him and tells him to choose wisely, as only one of those title belts is the real belt that was spoken about with the King of Kings in the WWE Encyclopedia. If he choses the right title belt he will be greatly rewarded but if he chooses wrong he will meet a horrible fate.
Orton looks at both belts, one old and traditional belt with no glitz or glamour, just a big gold belt... And another bejewelled belt encrusted with diamonds and a giant WWE logo. He quickly takes the WWE Title down and immediately puts it on. He stands tall celebrating, pointing at the Wrestlemania 30 sign, until suddenly he falls to the ground in agony and soon disintegrates into nothing.
John Cena sees this and climbs the ladder, he remembers what the Ric Flair ghost said and looks back to the plain Big Gold Belt, understanding of the modesty of the King of Kings he pulls down the World Heavyweight Title, puts it on and suddenly all the pain and injuries from the match disappear and Cena runs around the ring celebrating his win. Shortly after an earthquake hits the ring and everyone has the evacuate. During the escape, Cena drops the belt down a newly formed crack in the ground and a desperate Nicki Bella falls to her death trying to retrieve it, against John Cena's wishes.
Cena barely makes it out of the arena alive as he, John Cena Sr. And Big E Langston ride off into the sunset.
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Post by Oh Cry Me a Screwball on Dec 13, 2013 6:20:50 GMT -5
Then Jasper Orton disappears, never to be seen or referenced again? Man, I can just picture the shit storm that a repeated finish like this would spark. Do the Rhodes have any family members attempting to break into the business right now? Because we need that complete the new stable called No Legacy.
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Chip
Hank Scorpio
Slam Jam Death.
Posts: 5,185
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Post by Chip on Dec 13, 2013 14:02:56 GMT -5
Man, I can just picture the shit storm that a repeated finish like this would spark. Do the Rhodes have any family members attempting to break into the business right now? Because we need that complete the new stable called No Legacy. No but I say let's just have one of Sapphire's kids do a run-in.
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Post by Hit Girl on Dec 13, 2013 14:06:51 GMT -5
Cena and Orton both climb the ladder, they reach the top, look into each others eyes, and begin kissing passionately.
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Dec 13, 2013 14:11:54 GMT -5
The match has gone on for about 20 minutes, both guys are almost out of it, it looks like one more big move will end it. Suddenly the arena goes black. The crowd's going crazy - is this a Jericho return? THe titantron lights up, but not with Jericho's entrance. No, someone who REALLY deserves to be the champion of champions:
THE GREAT KHALI
HHH gets on the mic as Khali moves down to the ring (it takes about 17 minutes).
"All you internet marks and you stupid fans should have seen the writing on the walls. You heard I wanted a focus on big guys, and there's nobody bigger than Khali! This is what's #bestforbusiness (he says hashtag) right now, a giant immobile Unified Champion! Oh and Orton and Cena, in case you get any funny ideas about stopping this, I have 2 really big guys here to TAKE YOU OUT!"
Suddenly Kevin Nash and Viscera hit the ring. They destroy Orton and Cena, then start to high five the fans and smile.
"Don't forget - WWE is about fun! Now if you'll excuse me, I have one last thing to do!"
HHH then pulls a shovel out of his sport jacket (it was taped on his back like Die Hard) and heads down to the ring. He passes Khali, who's still walking down.
HHH then literally digs a hole in the ring, tosses Orton and Cena in, then starts to do the motion of covering it with dirt. Then he pauses and takes out a CM Punk and Daniel Bryan DVD.
"Better bury these guys, too! #itsburyingtime"
At this point, Khali climbs the ladder and grabs the belt. Big Show then comes out and stares down Khali while HHH starts hi-fiving fans around the ring.
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Allie Kitsune
Crow T. Robot
Always Feelin' Foxy.
HaHa U FaLL 4 LaVa TriK
Posts: 46,849
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Post by Allie Kitsune on Dec 13, 2013 14:59:33 GMT -5
Come on, everybody knows that Khali can't climb a ladder.
He'll have Ranjin Singh climb it for him.
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Post by mor666gie on Dec 13, 2013 15:36:44 GMT -5
with an hour of PPV left, the match starts.
after 54 secs, Cena wins with a roll up.
rest of PPV is Cena celebrating
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Post by Kayfabe FAN don't want none on Dec 13, 2013 15:46:31 GMT -5
after 54 secs, Cena wins with a roll up. In a TLC match?!
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Post by angryfan on Dec 13, 2013 22:22:44 GMT -5
after 54 secs, Cena wins with a roll up. In a TLC match?! If Kevin Nash can pin Rey Mysterio in an over the top rope battle royal, then yes.
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Post by Hit Girl on Dec 14, 2013 1:46:03 GMT -5
Orton pulls out the giant Big Show ladder from under the ring. He climbs it but finds himself several feet above the belts. This confuses him, and he lapses into a catatonic state, with his brain unable to devise a solution to the problem. Cena uses a normal ladder, then grabs the belts. Orton remains frozen in place while Cena celebrates below.
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