khali
Dennis Stamp
Posts: 4,564
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Post by khali on Dec 29, 2013 3:48:03 GMT -5
I had a professor who told a class this joke. According to him, it's a good determination if you're a bad person by if you laugh at it:
A husband nervously waits outside while his wife delivers a baby. They've had trouble in the past with other pregnancies, so all they want is a healthy child. Finally the doctor tells him to come in, as something has gone wrong. The husband walks in and sees that his wife has given birth to a giant eyeball. He begins to cry.
"It gets worse," the doctor says. "He's blind."
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Eunös ✈
Dalek
Duck Feet Expert
Tolerated, just not practically liked.
Posts: 59,181
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Post by Eunös ✈ on Dec 29, 2013 4:21:54 GMT -5
(Warning, Long Joke ahead)
Rich successful business man is out partying on New Years eve, his living the good life and splashes out the cash.
His had quite abit to drink but still decides to drive home, He get's into his Bentley Continental and starts driving home he approaches this corner and decides to take it at full speed, He misjudges and the car rolls and sends him into a huge crash.
He crawls out luckily unhurt and looks for help. Up the hill he sees a house, he walks up and knocks on the door.
A small Monk answer
Man: "Hello, I'm really sorry to pester you at this time but I've just had a crash and wondered if I could use your phone"
Monk: "No problem, please come in"
He walks in and uses the phone, unfortunately they wont be able to do anything about it until the morning. So he approaches the Monk again
Man: "Look I'm really about this but Is there any chance I could stay for the night?"
Monk: "That's fine, we'll prepare the Spare room for you"
The Man is in his room when he see's a glowing light, he investigates and see's a box with something glow inside, However the box is locked and only a key can unlock it. He thinks nothing more of it and goes to sleep.
The next morning as his about to leave he stops and asks the monk
"Before I leave I just want to ask, There was a Box in my room with a glowing light, What was it?"
The Monk replies "I'm sorry, I'm afraid only Monks are allowed to know what's in the Box, as you are not a Monk I cannot tell you"
Man: "Ok fair enough, Thank you once again for letting me stay"
He leaves and thinks nothing more of it -----------------------------------------------------
A year has passed and it's New years eve once again
His lost alittle bit of money but is still doing well, He is out partying again and once again drinks quite abit
He leaves in his Mercedes Benz 3 Series
He approaches the same corner he crashes at last year and thinks to himself "I can do it this year"
So he speeds up and would you believe it, he rolls his car again and ends up in the same place.
He remembers the House and walks up and knocks. The same Monk from last year answers.
Man: "Hello, Your not going to believe this but I've done the same thing again"
Monk: "Ah yes, I remember you, Please come in and use our phone"
The Same Scenario happens
He is in the same room he was in last year and once again see's the glow, this time around he is even more curious to see what is in the box, he tries to break in but the Box is very well locked.
He struggles to sleep thinking about the box and does eventually
So the Morning comes and he is about to leave
"Please, I really need to know what's in that box, It kept me awake most of the night"
Monk: "I'm sorry but unless your Monk, I cannot tell you"
In the end he thinks "Fair enough" and leaves -------------------------------------------------------------------
Throughout the year he thinks about the Box and distracts him from his work, however after awhile his able to stop thinking about it and carries on.
There's been a big Recession this year and his Business has been hit hard by it and has lost alot of money, Has just about enough to get by.
It's New Years eve once again and is once again partying, He doesn't drink quite as much this year but still enough to get pleasantly pissed.
He later get's into his Vauxhall Vectra and begins to drive home.
He see's the Corner once again at first he thinks "No" but then the Beer kicks in, and ofcourse he ends up Crashing once again, Doesnt flip it this time but Does enough damage to the front end.
He goes up to the House again and knocks, The same Monk answers
Monk: "Ah yes, We were expecting you this year, please come in, We have a bed ready"
The Man requests a different room this year, in hopes that it will stop him thinking about the box
However it doesnt work, he can still feel the glow and can't help but go investigate, The Box is well locked and can't be open unless you have the key.
He doesn't sleep well at all that night
The next morning he is pleading and begging to know what is in the box
Monk: "I'm sorry but I cannot tell you because your not a monk"
He ends up leaving and this year It just wont leave his mind, The box is on his mind 24/7.. What is in that Box?
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It's been a bad year, He is almost Bust
A once extremely successful Business now has hardly any money left.
New years eve once again
He decides to stay Sober this year as he can't really afford drinks.
He decides to leave early in his banged up Ford Fiesta.
He approaches the Corner once again, Only this year he decides to park up and walks up to the Monk House and knocks
Monk: "Welcome back we have everything ready"
Man: "Actually, I've been giving it some good thinking and have decided I want to become a Monk"
So he is sent to training and spends the year practising,
About a year later he is officially a Monk, and asked where he would like to move he chooses the House.
He returns to the house and they bring out the Box, The Monk gets out a Key and opens the Box.
The Box opens and the light comes flashing out, He looks inside and is absolutely amazed by what he see's
It is the most incredible thing he has ever seen, The training was well worth this
The thing in the box was..............
I can't tell you cause your not a Monk.
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