Dat Dude
Dennis Stamp
Wait, what?
Posts: 4,785
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Post by Dat Dude on Jan 3, 2014 0:04:10 GMT -5
First off, I gotta state I absolutely detest cheating. It's a sore point for me, because my mother was cheated on by my father.
But ever since I've joined the military I'm surrounded by astounding amount of new friends and acquaintances who cheat on their girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands, wives, etc. without so much of bat of on a eyelash. People are so freaking causal about it, it's like I'm in a bizzaro world. I understand the job comes with dealing with long distance relationships but holy crap! I didn't expect this large portion of folks doing it. Maybe it's just not a military thing. Maybe I've been blind all this time to the stuff been going on prior to me joining the armed forces. So I wanted to ask yall: do you find that a significant portion of the people in your life (friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances) are cheating?
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Post by mcmahonfan85 on Jan 3, 2014 0:09:33 GMT -5
well, seeing as i don't live in a soap opera, i don't know since most people i know don't go around talking about their infidelity
though when i was in the navy, it wasn't uncommon for people in relationships (be they married, engaged or just dating) to have a "boat beau" during deployments
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Push R Truth
Patti Mayonnaise
Unique and Special Snowflake, and a pants-less heathen.
Perpetually Constipated
Posts: 39,220
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Post by Push R Truth on Jan 3, 2014 0:12:33 GMT -5
It's very Common. I have no intention of joining that group... hope my wife feels the same
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 3, 2014 0:27:46 GMT -5
There has been a couple of times when the girl who lied about being single was only using me as a paramour
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Toxik916
Hank Scorpio
Sacramento Proud
Posts: 6,207
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Post by Toxik916 on Jan 3, 2014 0:33:09 GMT -5
It's pretty damn common. Every single one of my friends including myself has either been cheated on or cheated on a significant other at one point in our lives.
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agent817
Fry's dog Seymour
Doesn't Know Whose Ring It Is
Posts: 20,871
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Post by agent817 on Jan 3, 2014 0:36:46 GMT -5
I don't go deep into other people's personal lives, though an old friend of mine admitted to cheating on an ex of his.
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,308
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Jan 3, 2014 0:42:45 GMT -5
I never did, but then again I have been married for 17 years and whenever I have sexual fantasies they are about my wife. I'm incurably smitten.
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Post by mcmahonfan85 on Jan 3, 2014 0:51:10 GMT -5
I never did, but then again I have been married for 17 years and whenever I have sexual fantasies they are about my wife. I'm incurably smitten.
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Post by häšhtå.gdālėÿ on Jan 3, 2014 1:14:00 GMT -5
I've had one real true girlfriend in my entire life. She dropped the "L-Word" bomb, and then immediately cheated on me with a former friend. Then made me to be the bad guy.
7 years later, I'm still scarred and terrified of relationships.
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,308
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Jan 3, 2014 1:14:22 GMT -5
I never did, but then again I have been married for 17 years and whenever I have sexual fantasies they are about my wife. I'm incurably smitten. Hey, I did not say I don't like to look at pretty women. I am a man, after all. I said that I don't fantasize about other women. There is a difference.
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mcd
Don Corleone
Posts: 1,283
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Post by mcd on Jan 3, 2014 1:17:48 GMT -5
Rehab as a fellow current military member I can sympathize with what you see around you. Lots of stepping out or casual hookups around you. I will say that I myself have been married for not quite 20 years but do understand that people are ...well...PEOPLE and sometimes they stray or things go bust. I think that since we tend to live in a (smaller) concentration of regular folks it seems bigger or a more pervasive problem. One thing I have noticed is the increase of infidelity among those of us leaving the service or simply getting older. Long term relationships dissolving or "new" relationships being formed. I am curious of the members of FAN if that's also a thing among those working in the private sector or "civilian" jobs? I do want to know since my wife and I have seen several "good" partnerships go bust shortly after going into a new line of work.
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mcd
Don Corleone
Posts: 1,283
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Post by mcd on Jan 3, 2014 1:20:51 GMT -5
Hey, I did not say I don't like to look at pretty women. I am a man, after all. I said that I don't fantasize about other women. There is a difference. Dr. T that's a gorgeous woman in your post and sig. There isn't any darn thing wrong with that!
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BigBadZ
Grimlock
The Rumors Are All True
Posts: 13,923
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Post by BigBadZ on Jan 3, 2014 1:24:25 GMT -5
I was cheated on but I don't take that to believe everyone is doing it. At least for the people around me, it doesn't happen or they keep secrets long after they needed to be kept. During one of my relationships, this girl would come to parties at our apartment and try to hook up but I couldn't do it. Even after my girlfriend cheated on me and we broke up, hooking up with the other girl still seemed wrong. I have trust issues to begin with so I can't imagine being the person to break that with someone.
To bring this into the military conversation, I had a very good friend who was my roommate for 2 years after he got back from basic and AIT and he was engaged the whole time he was gone. About 2 months after he got back, they broke up and he said he never cheated on her while he was gone. I didn't really know the girl so he would have no reason to lie so I believe him. Don't know if it was military, but he got back, broke up, and hooked up with a couple of different girls without being in a relationship.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 3, 2014 2:18:25 GMT -5
The military literally ruined my idea of a relationship....My ex wife literally slept with someone on our wedding night during the reception...It's shocking that I didn't end up in prison...With facebook, and meet me and plenty of fish its so ridiculously easy to cheat now that pretty much everyone I know just looks the other way
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mizerable
Fry's dog Seymour
You're the lowest on the totem pole here, Alva. The lowest.
Posts: 23,475
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Post by mizerable on Jan 3, 2014 2:44:16 GMT -5
And there ya go. You can also add in; I've started college I made some friends at a bar I joined an online chat The problem with cheating, is once you start...it's hard to stop. It's also incredibly difficult to NOT cheat once you enter a relationship but had a prior lifestyle of sleeping around. Making that transition is extremely difficult, especially with the amount of temptation out there. I know from experience. But the sad thing is how f***ing casual our society is about it. They'll list statistics to make you feel less upset/guilty about doing it/having it happen to you. There's even that website that encourages you to have an affair, because "life is short". I don't get why people don't frown on this shit more, since NO ONE wants to get cheated on (unless you're into that sort of thing, weirdo). But of course, men enjoy the notches on the belt and the women are always looking for an alternative if Plan A goes bad. I'm not saying that this sort of thing didn't happen 60 years ago, but it was far less common, and when the word got out...you were f***in' shunned. They don't call it the good ol' days for nothin'.
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Bo Rida
Fry's dog Seymour
Pulled one over on everyone. Got away with it, this time.
Posts: 23,328
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Post by Bo Rida on Jan 3, 2014 6:24:13 GMT -5
I don't get how it works...no wait seriously!
A guy (single or in a relationship) has a flirtation with a married woman and there's palpable tension between them, who makes the first move? In normal situations it's usually down to the guy but if he does so in this situation and gets rejected he looks like a right dick especially if he knows the bloke she's married to, so is down to the women?
The same sort of thing applies the other way around, does the married take the risk of chasing or is it down the the women to seduce him?
And what if they're both married? Especially if they're in a situation where everybody involved is friends with each other, one wrong move and you lose everything.
The stress and logistics of infidelity seem a lot to cope with.
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Emmet Russell
King Koopa
Quieter
The best wrestler on earth.
Posts: 12,526
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Post by Emmet Russell on Jan 3, 2014 7:08:08 GMT -5
I've been cheated on 5 times in relationships & it never becomes easier to accept. Granted I was young at the times these happened (16-18) & so were they, but it was still an awful thing for them to do. I'm sure they've grown up & learnt for it now, or at least that's what i'm hoping anyway.
I remember one quite vividly from when I was 16. I had just woken up that morning & I had a text from her saying "hey, so I hooked up with this cute guy last night because it was my birthday. You're cool with that right?". It's safe to say I wasn't. It was her nonchalant attitude about it all & how she didn't think she'd done anything wrong that completely pissed me off. The other times after that I just got sad, not angry.
Updates for now. I have now been in a year+ long relationship with a ginger who I am living with, & I couldn't be happier.
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Post by rapidfire187 on Jan 3, 2014 8:16:47 GMT -5
It's extremely common. Not necessarily with my friends but people in general. I've been cheated on multiple times in my life and I've known a few dudes that cheat like it's nothing and sometimes act proud of it. I hope they all give each other AIDS and suffer until they die.
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Post by EvenBaldobombHasAJob on Jan 3, 2014 8:31:33 GMT -5
I have one friend who seemingly can't keep it in his pants and ruins pretty much every relationship he's ever had because of it (though he's getting better about it and hasn't cheated on anyone in a couple years). other than that, at least among my friends it doesn't really happen. I guess us nerds are super-grateful and don't want to ruin it. if I myself was in a relationship I don't think it'd be much of a problem for me because I have enough trouble getting 1 girl interested to begin with.
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Sephiroth
Wade Wilson
Surviving
Posts: 28,831
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Post by Sephiroth on Jan 3, 2014 9:23:18 GMT -5
I cheat all the time, otherwise I'd never win a board game.
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