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Post by Sumbody Gon' Get Dey Kneelift on Jan 3, 2014 22:46:37 GMT -5
Starts with WWE World Heavyweight Champion Heath Slater cutting a title in the ring with SRS HEEL 3MB about being champ for nine months. Ryder's music interrupts, Ryder comes out and challenges. Sin Cara's music comes on. Brad Maddox, COO of WWE comes out and makes the main event a triple threat. Then JTG squashes John Cena in under 2 minutes, Alberto Del Rio style. Including holding on to a submission after the bell. Del Rio enters the ring to a thunderous pop. But he loses his match and the commentators point out his lack of AGGRESSIVENESS. Del Rio (already waiting in the ring) faced off against a pissed Justin Gabriel who just lost his IC title the night before to Alex Riley. Loses to the 450 splash in under a minute. After the match Justin goes up and delivers another 450 and is about to do it for a third time until the officials clear the ring and help carry Del Rio to the back. Eva Marie and Rosa Mendes have a 30 minute technical classic that finishes with both competitors barely standing, only for Eva to counter Rosa's Emerald Flowsion attempt into a Burning Hammer for the win. What else happens on Bizarro Raw?
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Post by EoE: Well There's Your Problem on Jan 3, 2014 22:49:57 GMT -5
JTG squashes John Cena in under 2 minutes, Alberto Del Rio style. Including holding on to a submission after the bell.
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Post by Mc Mc Mannequin on Jan 3, 2014 22:50:31 GMT -5
I want a murder mystery episode of RAW.
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Post by Amazing Kitsune on Jan 3, 2014 23:02:55 GMT -5
I want RAW: The Musical
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Post by Amazing Kitsune on Jan 3, 2014 23:05:18 GMT -5
I want a murder mystery episode of RAW. I do too. Unfortunately We had it already. It sucked.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 3, 2014 23:06:00 GMT -5
Kane still behaves like Kane. Kanefused?!?!?
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Post by Sumbody Gon' Get Dey Kneelift on Jan 3, 2014 23:08:40 GMT -5
only thing I'm kanefused about is why people aren't booking.
Adding the results to the op
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 3, 2014 23:08:54 GMT -5
HHH somehow still goes over.
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JCBaggee
Hank Scorpio
Writer, streamer. I used to write for CBR but then they fired everyone who cared about their writers
Posts: 6,783
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Post by JCBaggee on Jan 4, 2014 0:08:10 GMT -5
A frustrated Cena demands the decision be reversed, hits the ref when he refuses and quits the company.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2014 0:11:21 GMT -5
Dressed in an old tailcoat and tuxedo, Sheamus appears backstage holding doors for people, turning his nose up at the chance for a joke and does four separate run-ins to save various faces from heel beatdowns.
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Post by Wrestling Curmudgeon on Jan 4, 2014 0:17:55 GMT -5
Mason Ryan is offered the chance to join a once proud stable, only to refuse.
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ayumidah
Wade Wilson
Don't bother pretending I seem fine, I like that I'm a mess
Posts: 26,746
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Post by ayumidah on Jan 4, 2014 2:49:27 GMT -5
This would be the perfect opportunity to have that whole "ADR be Ricardo's announcer" thing, right?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2014 9:29:58 GMT -5
Yoshi Tatsu wins a match and then has a 25 minute celebration with pyro, balloons, a marching band and a live-sex celebration with two Malaysian slaves he's recently purchased from Christian
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Pushed to the Moon
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Tony Schiavone in Disguise
Working myself into a shoot
Posts: 15,819
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Post by Pushed to the Moon on Jan 4, 2014 9:52:51 GMT -5
Mike Chioda has a match with Scott Armstrong refereed by Kofi Kingston. Chioda wins after Armstrong passes out in a sharpshooter like WM 13.
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Post by The Beast Disincarnate on Jan 4, 2014 10:02:32 GMT -5
Del Rio enters the ring to a thunderous pop. But he loses his match and the commentators point out his lack of AGGRESSIVENESS.
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Post by Amazing Kitsune on Jan 4, 2014 13:12:45 GMT -5
{Young/Feminine)Cena Sucks!, (Masculine)Lets Go Cena!
and
Michael Cole: Man, I've seen Undertaker manhandled like this over a dozen different times!
also
Jerry Lawler: You know, I really appreciate the way Vicky Guerrero conducts herself with dignity and grace. She is truly a noble woman.
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Post by Slanted and Enchanted on Jan 4, 2014 13:21:23 GMT -5
Del Rio enters the ring to a thunderous pop. But he loses his match and the commentators point out his lack of AGGRESSIVENESS. Del Rio (already waiting in the ring) faced off against a pissed Justin Gabriel who just lost his IC title the night before to Alex Riley. Loses to the 450 splash in under a minute. After the match Justin goes up and delivers another 450 and is about to do it for a third time until the officials clear the ring and help carry Del Rio to the back.
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Post by "Gentleman" AJ Powell on Jan 4, 2014 14:53:02 GMT -5
Eva Marie and Rosa Mendes have a 30 minute technical classic that finishes with both competitors barely standing, only for Eva to counter Rosa's Emerald Flowsion attempt into a Burning Hammer for the win.
After the match, Vince, Bret, HBK, HHH, Daniel Bryan, Ricky Steamboat and the Force Ghost of Randy Savage all walk out onto the ramp in tears and applaud the two women in the ring as the crowd gives them a standing ovation and pyro goes off on the roof of the arena. Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler then tell us that they have never seen a match as amazing as this, and as of this moment they are handing in their formal resignations.
Raw then ends with Rosa and Eva kissing in the ring in celebration of them being at the top of professional wrestling.
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The Ichi
Patti Mayonnaise
AGGRESSIVE Executive Janitor of the Third Floor Manager's Bathroom
Posts: 37,286
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Post by The Ichi on Jan 4, 2014 15:43:20 GMT -5
Kelly Kelly returns and is able to run the ropes.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2014 16:12:53 GMT -5
However, Kelly is destroyed by Eva Marie, who has blue hair and finally shows off her MMA training, finishing Kelly in 1 minute via ARMBAR.
Next, a disemboweled sounding S...O...S booms over the speakers. Kofi Kingston walks out, slowly, wearing jeans and frowning.
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