Okay, finally finished the show. And here are my thoughts. A little rambling at times, I admit. And I did star ratings too because why not?
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}Lash Leroux vs Disco Inferno for the WCW Cruiserweight Championship: Not much of a match to be honest, though it did pick up at the end. Lash seemed really green to me for whatever reason and it was a little sloppy at times. Disco was pretty entertaining, I suppose, but compared to alot of Cruiserweights I've seen I can't really understand why he was champion. Disco eventually picks up the win with a Chart Buster/The Last Dance which Lash sold like he'd just broken his neck. Solid opener, I suppose, but I've seen much better. At least the finish was clean. **
Oh wait... after the match Lash lays Disco out with what I presume was his finish, some sort of sit-out fireman's carry thing. Okay then. Did Lash just turn heel? Okay, there's the Russo touch, I presume.
A random fan who looked bored out of his mind just flashed a thumbs up.
Backstage segment where Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko quit the Revolution.
Harlem Heat interview. The only really thing notable here is that Stevie Ray called the First Family a pair of big fat fruit booties.
Brian Knobbs and Hugh Morris? Good lord that sounds like a horrible team.
Bobby Heenan just said oh no as soon as Dave Penzer announced this next match would be fought under street fight rules. And then three guys in Halloween masks come out first. Oh, this is the First Family, I guess.
Flashback of the Filthy Animals stealing a win from Harlem Heat in a match, presumably for the tag titles. Rey Mysterio looks like a tiny version of New Jack or a long lost Dudley Boy. Thank god they eventually put the mask back on him when he came to WWE.
Kidman and Konnan out. Kidman has a camcorder for some reason. Oh, and they have Primo's old pinwheel pyro.
Harlem Heat vs First Family vs Filthy Animals for the WCW Tag Team Championships: Typical hardcore broughaha early on. There's a tombstone that simply says "Dead" What else needs to be said? And Knobbs just got sent through a casket. Schiavonie cracking up at Knobbs hitting Booker with an empty water jug. Oh wow, what an amazing finish. Stevie Ray POWERSLAMS A MUMMY onto Knobbs and then Booker pins him for the win. What an amazing cluster this was. I guess I don't blame him because that's a pretty stupid weapon choice. So Harlem Heat wins, I suppose. Except wait, apparently there was a pin in the ring, which we never got to see because the camera never bothered to show it. I'm having TNA flashbacks here. Yep... this smells like Russo. * Oh, and apparently Konnan got injured in the match. That's no good, especially in a nothing match like this.
Oh, and Rey is out there... in suspenders of all things with nothing underneath.
I should also note the giant inflatable demon caressing a pumpkin with the pay per views logo's on top of the stage. Creepy.
Oh, and here come the Flairs, David with a Crowbar.
Bobby Heenan just compared Kimberly to a giant artichoke.
Kimberly cutting a promo about how Ric Flair sexually harassed her. But apparently she has news for him. When she and Page are intimately together, she considers a fourteen time spanking just a little warm up. When Page does it, it's a good, good thing. But when Ric Flair does it, it's a bad bad thing. DDP loves Kimberly, hates Flair, and says after tonight he'll never forget him. Mentions an OBVIOUS SWERVE. Hello Russo. Says he can't possibly suck, he's from Las Vegas! Says Davey Boy has Nature Boy fill his shoes. He's basically cutting a promo about how Ric Flair spanked Kimberly instead of... having sex with her? Says he prefers to spank it. This sounds like a Russo promo, alright. Let's whack it, let's jack it, all night long. Those were the words DDP SAID. Creepy. And then he challenges him to a strap match. Promises he's gonna whack Ric Flair all night. Calls himself the King of Bada Bing, Bada Boom, Bada Bang! I suspect that never caught on.
Goldberg is looking for Sid. And that's it.
Eddie Guerrero cuts a promo about The Revolution. Says it's Saturn's end tonight. And Mike Tenay accuses him of stealing a Rolex that he's wearing. Not sure I'd say something like that straight to his thief's face.
Perry Saturn vs Eddie Guerrero: This should be good though I have no idea who is face and who is heel. Before the match Eddie gives Heenan the Rolex to hold onto until after the match. Eddie gets dropped onto the steel steps, possibly injuring his wrist. Saturn busts out a powerbomb into a bridging pin. Awesome. Saturn tries a Springboard Moonsault not once, not twice, but thrice, and gets countered the last two times. And then Ric Flair comes out and hits Eddie with a crowbar. So much for that match. That'll teach you two to WRESTLE! Kidman tries to come out and gets nailed too. Torrie is also out and Ric is threatening to... molest her? And then he makes out with her... and she likes it? Perry Saturn has disappeared here by the way. Kidman checking on Torrie, but now Ric Flair is running back down! Oh, he took back his Rolex that Heenan was holding onto. Makes sense. ** Would've been a star higher, but the finish knocked it down a notch for me.
So far I can smell the Russo.
And we cut backstage where Goldberg is beating up some guy in a red shirt... oh wait, it's Sid. In jean shorts. And he's bleeding.
And here comes Buff Daddy. He cuts a promo. Says he has a problem with the two new WRITERS. The two new sherriffs that are gonna save WCW. Also says as he has a problem with Jeff Jarret hitting him a guitar. Challenges his hillbilly Tenessee Ass down to the ring so he can shove his foot right up it. So I guess this is another match. And here comes Jarrett! And we've got a brawl. So, maybe it's not a match. And now Lex Luger is coming out. And he hits Buff with a guitar while trying to hit Jeff. That's a third time tonight one person has hit somebody by accident while trying to hit someone else. And the first two times were in the tag title match.
Sid is backstage acting crazy as he shoos a doctor trying to treat his wounds. Says to let it bleed!
Eddie Guerrero is calling someone on the phone. He wants somebody to get their ass back right now. Says something about Animal business.
Brad Armstrong is coming down to the ring! I have no idea who he's facing. Oh, it's... someone with... opera music? Oh, Berlyn and The Wall. This music is completely inappropriate for Berlyn.
Brad Armstrong vs Berlyn: I expect a squash here... but it's actually back and forth. And Brad actually wins, countering a neckbreaker from Berlyn. WOW. Except the Wall lays him out immediately after he wins. So... why did Brad win here? No wonder Berlyn failed. *
Mike Tenay interviews Ric Flair. He's great. That's all I need to say.
Chris Benoit vs Rick Steiner for the WCW Television Title: What a match this is. Chris has some wacky music here. Chris tries to counter a powerbomb into a roll up, but I guess somebody botched and he ended up falling flat on his face. An odd spot. Pretty good comeback by Benoit... until the ref bump. Russo. Rick tries to hit Chris with a chair, but fails. Looks like they edited out a chair shot? Malenko comes out, teases hitting Steiner and then hits Benoit. Sad thing is I knew that was coming. RUSSO! And Rick Steiner wins. Oh, a swerve. Dean and Perry turned on Benoit. Boo. **
Half-way through and I'm not enamored with this show.
Bret Hart interview.
Bret Hart vs THE TOTAL PACKAGE. So... did they choose to stop calling him Lex Luger? No, because they mention Lex Luger multiple times before this. So... I don't get it. Russo? Oh, and Luger poses and has trouble ripping off his track pants before doing so. Bret Hart beats Lex Luger all over the place until hurting his leg falling out of the ring. After that Lex targets the leg and eventually taps him with a half-crab. More a story-based match than anything, I suppose. Honestly, this is the least Russo-like thing I've seen so far. *
Goldberg interview Short and sweet. Goldberg says he going to seperate Sid's head from the rest of his body.
Some scantily clad woman comes out holding a container of cologne. Oh, the WCW Nitro Colon! And Heenan pushes that it smells horrible. Says it smells like liquid kitty litter. Why is this on pay per view? Also, this woman has a horrible theme. She has a microphone now. Asks the commentators about the cologne. Asks them about the shapely bottle. Now she's saying that having to shill the cologne is bullshit. Then she dumps it all over poor Heenan and storms off. So... that was something. Russo.
Hulk Hogan vs Sting WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match: Hulk Hogan has the American Made theme here. Except, he's apparently not coming out. And this goes on for awhile, the theme is still playing all the while. Now Sting's music is playing. A sign is shown that says "Sting, your gett'n stung." Oh, the grammar. Anyway, here comes Sting. Oh, now Hogan's music is playing again. Oh, there he comes, after what seems like an eternity. Except he doesn't look like he's dressed for action. Oh lord, he's laying on the mat. Sting pins him for the three count and retains. And then we cut abruptly to a Sid Vicious/Goldberg hype video. Anyway, this gets a big fat DUD.
Goldberg vs Sid Vicious for the United States Championship: Okay, time for the United States Championship Match. I guess this was when Sid Vicious was doing an undefeated streak gimmick since Penzer announces him as such. Scott Hall and Kevin Nash run out and attack Goldberg from behind. Sid follows up by attacking from behind, but Goldberg turns it around, but Sid cuts him off with a big foot, as Schavonie calls it. Eventually this one ends after Goldberg kicks too much ass and beats Sid so bloody the ref calls for the bell. Now Rick Steienr is here to check on Sid. So Goldberg is the new United States Champion. What a weird finish, but I guess it makes sense. Still... *
This show is a true debacle.
Segment with Kimberly, I think talking to someone in the shower. Ric Flair comes out and bounces off the bed. Says he's gonna give her the fourteen-time spanking. Oh, this was a flashback. Why didn't they show this earlier before the DDP promo?
And now Sting is coming out with the belt. Also, Sting has weird music here. Possibly dubbed over the original theme. Sting cutting a promo. Says he didn't come to Las Vegas for a night off, but to fight. He issues an open challenge for a fight tonight. Says he'll be back later tonight waiting for somebody to show up for a fight. Okay then.
DDP vs Ric Flair in a Strap Match: Apparently this isn't a typical strap match as it's still pinfall or submission to win. Big brawl early on. Ric Flair eventually kisses Kimberly on the forehead only to get punched in the face. Flair gets opened up shortly after, no surprise. DDP viciously assaults Flair on the announcer's table at one point. Eventually DDP hits the Diamond Cutter and gets the pin... or does he? Because Flair got his foot under the rope? Then he hits the ref with a Diamond Cutter. David runs out and gets laid out, and now DDP hitting Ric Flair with a crowbar, including one to "Space Mountain" Schavonie quips after Ric Flair will never be the same again. Now DDP beating up David for good measure. And a Diamond Cutter to him for good measure. What a mess, but it wasn't too bad until the end. **1/2 It was a fun brawl, but the finish once again knocks it down a notch. And now Flair being carried out by EMTs. I can't imagine how people would feel if they had paid to watch this.
Schavonie and Heenan pushing this result could have been career-ending. Sadly it wasn't for Mr. Russo. Oh, and now the Filthy Animals are attacking. So Konnan faked an injury so they could attack Ric Flair on the off-chance he would be taken away in an EMT that night? What? And the Filthy Animals hijack the Ambulance and drive away. Russo!
Here comes Sting's weird theme again. Thank goodness this show is almost over.
Sting vs
? Open Challenge: The challenger is Goldberg! I wonder if they paid Bruce Buffer to announce the main event for this show? Schavonie says the title isn't on the line? Apparently Sting forgot to tell a referee to come out. And here they come. Heenan says "I don't know what to think anymore. I'm losing my mind." You and me both, Bobby. Sting hits the worst spear I've seen in awhile. And Goldberg no sells it, as he should have. Sting hits the Stinger Splash followed by another. And a third for good measure. Goldberg eventuallys cuts him off with the spear. And he follows up with the Jackhammer! And that'll do it. Honestly this was more like an extended squash, which is weird for a main event. Oh wait... and apparently the belt was on the line, so Goldberg is the new champion. Okay? And the commentators are confused. "I Guess he is the World Champion" says Schavonie. *
Sting seems confused that he just lost the belt. So he lays out Charles Robinson with a Scorpion Death Drop. And then the show abruptly ends....
In summary, this was one of the worst shows I've seen in awhile. The opener was decent and Flair and DDP, Perry Saturn and Eddie Guerrero, and even Chris Benoit and Rick Steiner weren't too bad until the finish. But my God, some of these finishes were beyond stupid. And now I can see why WCW went downhill fast following this show.
So yeah... I don't plan on ever watching this show again. But it was an interesting experience to say the least.