ronin705
Dennis Stamp
All Might
Posts: 4,277
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Post by ronin705 on Jul 26, 2014 23:46:16 GMT -5
love this thread..
Bo Dallas: Sandra The seamstress, Have you got any grease??
Sandra: Yes, yes we do.
*Bo tears off shirt*
Bo: THEN GREASE ME UP WOMAN!!
Sandra, looking shocked: ... Okie dokie
===============================================
John Cena: .. Yeah well you love Zack Ryder!
Kane: No, you do!! You're gay for Zack Ryder!!
John Cena: No, You're gay for Zack Ryder!!
**Cena and Kane begin grappling**
Zack Ryder, watching sad: No one's gay for Zack Ryder.
========================================================
AJ: Where we going, Where we going??
CM Punk: OK, OK. Don't panic. To find Cena, I just have to think like Cena
(thinking) "I'm a big marine lame-O, and I wear the same stupid attire everyday, and--"
CM Punk: He's at the river!!
==========================================
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Post by Nickybojelais on Jul 27, 2014 1:11:25 GMT -5
Rikishi - I should be able to run over as many Stone Colds as I want!
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Post by Beets by Schrute on Jul 27, 2014 1:44:32 GMT -5
*Watching a Del Rio-Orton match* Crowd: yayyyy!!! *30 seconds later* Homer: Boring! Krusty: COME ON YOU SNORES!! DO SOMETHING! Brockman: Orton goes back to the wristhold. Del Rio counters with another hold. Back to Orton. Orton head lock. Orton head locks. Head locks. WWE Spanish Announce Team: (in loud excited tone) Orton back to wristhold! Del Rio counters it! ORTON BACK TO HEAD LOCKS! HEAD LOCKS! HEAD LOCKS!!
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Post by slappy on Jul 27, 2014 1:50:49 GMT -5
Darren: This is Titus O'Neil, my friend. *drives away*
Miz: What'd he say?
Kofi: I don't know. Something about being gay.
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Post by EvenBaldobombHasAJob on Jul 27, 2014 9:27:21 GMT -5
Seth Rollins and Randy Orton: Trips, we've done something terrible! Triple H: Did you crash the DX-Express? Rollins and Orton: No. Triple H: Did you raise the Von Erichs? Rollins/Orton: Yes. Triple H: But the DX-Express's OK? Rollins/Orton: Uh-huh. Triple H: All right, then.
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Chris Candido: Franchise, you killed the zombie Ric Flair! Shane Douglas: He was a zombie?
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CM Punk: Hey, baby, how 'bout puttin' your finger in my ear? Paige: Well, I don't know. Your boyfriend looks like the jealous type. CM Punk: Hey, what the...?! Colt Cabana: That chick's messin' with our minds! CM Punk: Let's get outta here!
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Big Show (at his Strip-mall): (smiling) My prices are so low, you'll think I've suffered brain damage! Triple H: You are fully licensed and bonded by the city, aren't you Mr. Show? Big Show: (stops smiling, talks out of the corner of his mouth) Shut up, boss. (Big Show growls angrily at Triple H as they watch the commercial on TV) Big Show: So, (cue jingle) Call Mr. Show. That's my name. That name again is Mr. Show.
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CM Punk: AJ, I wanna be a monorail conductor. AJ: Punk, no. CM Punk: It's my lifelong dream! AJ: Your lifelong dream was to run out on the field during a baseball game and you did it last year! Remember? (AJ points to a framed sports page, with a picture of Punk running onto Wrigley Field in the middle of a game, with the headline, "Idiot Ruins Game/Cubs Forfeit Pennant").
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Bill Demott: Sports means Sports and Entertainment means Entertainment. That concludes our extensive three week course. Dean Ambrose: Hey, wait! Who gets to be Cena's replacement? Demott: I have been monitoring your progress, (he looks in a book with a picture of himself driving to Tahiti with lots of money) and this gentleman stands above the rest. (Does general arm sweep across room and gets ready to leave.) Roman Reigns: Who, me? Demott: Yeah, sure. Reigns: Woohoo!
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Cena: That story's not appropriate for children. Ric Flair: Really? I keep my pants on in this version.
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Chris Benoit: (over the intercom) JOHNNY!!! Regal: Cool, I broke his brain!
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Brad Maddox: WWE Universe, I give you this statue of our old booker, Vince Russo! Bray Wyatt: Oh, come on! Wade Barrett: (points angrily) He's history's greatest monster!
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*Antonio Cesaro and Sami Zayn find Kassius Ohno is now morbidly obese* Zayn: Kassius, what have you done to yourself? Ohno: I wanted to get in shape so I've been drinking nothing but milkshakes. Zayn: You mean those diet milkshakes? Ohno: Uh-oh.
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Ric Flair: It's true. I'm with your father in a mental institution. Cody Rhodes: Uh-huh. And is Scott Hall with you? Ric Flair: He could be. It's a big hospital.
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Brad Maddox: Sir, where's my radiation suit? Triple H: (annoyed) Oh, how the hell should I know?
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mrjl
Fry's dog Seymour
Posts: 20,319
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Post by mrjl on Jul 27, 2014 9:31:51 GMT -5
On a boat in the Pacific
Vince: Set course for secret Superstar island! AKA Samoa.
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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Jul 27, 2014 9:48:34 GMT -5
Vince: Hope you enjoyed that, kids, 'cause We're out of here for the summer. In the meantime, we'll be running [groans] "Classic WWE.". [laughs uncomfortably] Enjoy... The WWWF Show, May 17th 1963 Vince Sr: Good evening. Tonight my guest is WWWF Champion Bruno Sammartino, who will be discussing collective bargaining agreements. Bruno: It's a pleasure to be here, Vince. Vince Sr: Let me be blunt: is there a labor crisis in America today? Bruno: Well that depends what you mean by "crisis"...
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Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Jul 27, 2014 15:01:54 GMT -5
Vince: Hope you enjoyed that, kids, 'cause We're out of here for the summer. In the meantime, we'll be running [groans] "Classic WWE.". [laughs uncomfortably] Enjoy... The WWWF Show, May 17th 1963 Vince Sr: Good evening. Tonight my guest is WWWF Champion Bruno Sammartino, who will be discussing collective bargaining agreements. Bruno: It's a pleasure to be here, Vince. Vince Sr: Let me be blunt: is there a labor crisis in America today? Bruno: Well that depends what you mean by "crisis"... Every single post - literally, LITERALLY every single post in this thread has made me laugh, but this one... I almost f***ing lost it. These threads are ALWAYS gold. Vince: Now, Punk, no-one's mad at you for getting over, we just think you'd benefit from leading the Nexus. Punk: You win this round, Vince, but the war isn't over... *runs out of room* *phone rings* Vince: Hello? Voice: Hello, Vince? You're a stupid head! Vince: ...Punk, is that you? Punk: AHHH! *** Security guard: We found him in the locker room trying to hug it out with Kane. Bryan: I AM THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! Doctor: For Daniel to rehab his neck, you'll have to give him these once a day, these twice a day, then these. *hands Brie a huge pile of pills* Brie: Thankyou doctor. Doctor: Oh, I'm not a doctor. *** Vince: For God's sake, what am I pushing you people for?? Cena: Because I never leave the company? Zach: You're not pushing me! Kenta: And you kidnapped me! *** Vince: Hunter, get me some roid heads. Like he had in the 80s. Hulk: Well, we can't wrestle matches like we used to, but we can cut promos! Like this one time, I was gonna wrestle Andre? And I had the WWF title belt. But the important thing was, I had a bandana on my head, which was the style at the time...
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Tony Schiavontay
Dennis Stamp
This is the greatest post in the history of this board!
Posts: 4,083
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Post by Tony Schiavontay on Jul 27, 2014 15:19:29 GMT -5
Hey, he's driving one of those white robot Hummers. Yeah... one of those American white robot Hummers.
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Post by The Tee Why on Jul 27, 2014 15:45:43 GMT -5
Triple H: Pop, just for once don't you want to try pushing someone new? Vince: Oh Hunter, trying is just the first step toward failure. *** Typical FAN Poster: Last night's episode of Raw was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world. *** "If you look closely you can see the exact moment his heart breaks in two"
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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Jul 27, 2014 16:05:35 GMT -5
Vince McMahon: And now, I'd like to turn things over to our Guest Host Mr. Kevin Nash! Nash: I'd say NWO for life! McMahon: And let me say, let's get ready to suck it! Nash: Do you even know who I am. McMahon: I think I do. Weren't you one of the Four Horsemen?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2014 16:09:42 GMT -5
"I'm sorry, I spent the last of our money on this talking Alberto Del Rio doll."
*pulls string*
ADR Doll: "Que está escuchando que hable."
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LastCall
Crow T. Robot
Never Asked For This
Getting dark. Bring a FlashLight.
Posts: 43,149
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Post by LastCall on Jul 27, 2014 17:15:11 GMT -5
Outnga: Mr. Helmsley, I was just going through your garbage, and I couldn't help overhearing that you need a babysitter. Of course, being a highly-skilled attorney, my fee is $175 an hour.
HHH: We pay eight dollars for the night, and you can take two popsicles out of the freezer.
Otunga: Three.
HHH: Two.
Otunga: Okay, two. And I get to keep this old Hardcore Title.
HHH: Done.
Otunga: (proudly) Still got it.
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Foley: You're out there somewhere, guy who ran down Stone Cold. And I'm gonna find you!
Rikishi: No you won't!
Foley: Yes I will!
Rikishi: Won't!
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Hall: Every time I learn something new, something old gets pushed out of my brain. Remember the time I took that home wine making course and I forgot how to drive?
Nash: That's because you were drunk!
Hall: And how!
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Vince: Two independent thoughts in one day? The entertainers are over-stimulated! Pat, remove all the colored tights from the dressing rooms!
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Miz: You're Sting!
Sting: Yes.
Miz: You're a former world champion.
Sting: Yes.
Miz: I'm a former world champion too.
Sting: So?
Miz: Well, are you better than me?
Sting: Well, I've never met you but.....yes.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2014 20:35:34 GMT -5
In the future, Stephanie tells Triple H their daughter Aurora is getting married...
HHH: "OK, Steph, I'll plan everything: I'll get Motorhead to perform at the reception. Wait! Why not have them play at the whole wedding? We'll do it on a Monday morning. There'll be fewer drunks." Steph: "Hunter, don't take this personally, but I've obtained a court order to prevent you from planning this wedding." HHH: *reads documents* "Well, these seem to be in order. I'll be out back in the hammock."
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ronin705
Dennis Stamp
All Might
Posts: 4,277
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Post by ronin705 on Jul 27, 2014 22:14:00 GMT -5
HHH: Yeah Vince, that show sure did suck last night. It just plain sucked. I've seen shows suck before, but that was the suckiest bunch of suck that sucked before--
Steph, flocked by Orton and Rollins: HUNTER!! Watch your mouth!!
HHH: Ehhh, gotta go. My damn weiner kids are listening.
========================================================
Paige, pointing at AJ: She was lookinh at Punk!!
Roster cheering together: AJ likes Puu-uunk!!
Zack Ryder: She does not!!!
Roster: Ryder likes A-J!!
Lana: He does not!!
Roster: Lana likes Ryder!!
Rusev: She does not!!
Roster: Rusev likes Emma!!
Vince: NOBODY likes Ryder!! AJ you have detention!! ===============================================
Cena: .. No jokes, no taunting... Ahahahaha, look (pointing at Big Show) that guy's got bussoms!! Who's got a wet towel!?
*chasing Big show while snapping a towel* : hehehe, c'mere you butterball.
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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Jul 27, 2014 22:19:02 GMT -5
Cop: Did you hold a grudge against Vince McMahon? Zack Ryder: No! (buzz) All right, maybe I did. But I didn't blow up his limo. (ding) Cop: Checks out. OK, sir, you're free to go. Ryder: Good, 'cause I got a Main Event title match tonight on Raw. (buzz) A midcard match. (buzz) lowercard tag match. (buzz) Superstars match. (buzz) Dark match. (buzz) All right! I'm going to sit backstage and ogle the Divas in WWE magazine. (buzz) *sighs sadly* WWE kids magazine. (ding) Now would you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! (buzz)
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2014 22:25:45 GMT -5
"I've placed all your names in this hat. Now pair off as I draw your names for the tag tournament. ...Zack Ryder, aaaaaaaaaaand... Dean Ambrose!" "Awwwwww nuts." "..." "I mean........awwwwww nuts."
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TGM
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 6,073
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Post by TGM on Jul 28, 2014 4:06:43 GMT -5
Lesnar: let me just call manager. HHH: Your manager says for you to shut up. Lesnar: Paul said that!?
***
*Triple H drops his sledgehammer* Daniel Bryan: Bwahahaha look at that jerk, he dropped his hammer. Bwahahaha!
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67 more
King Koopa
He's just a Sexy Kurt
Posts: 11,503
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Post by 67 more on Jul 28, 2014 4:52:41 GMT -5
JBL: You know, I never heard the term local medical facility until I came to WWE. Cole: I don't know why, it's a perfectly sports entertainment term.
Heyman: Well, crying isn't going to bring him back unless your tears smell like Pepsi. So you can either sit there crying and drinking can after can of Pepsi until your tears smell enough like Pepsi to make the Best in the World come back or you can go out there and find CM Punk!
Flair: There's only one thing to do at a moment like this, strut!
Jake Roberts: Now son, on your first day of school, I'd like to pass along the words of advice my father gave me. Grizzly Smith: Son, you're as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly! If a strange man offers you a ride, I say take it. Jake Roberts: Lousy traumatic childhood.
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Mozenrath
FANatic
Foppery and Whim
Speedy Speed Boy
Posts: 121,054
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Post by Mozenrath on Jul 28, 2014 5:01:10 GMT -5
Orton: "Hello, my name's Mr. Cena, I believe you have a title belt for me." Baggage Handler: "Okay, Mr. Cena, what is your first name?" Orton: "....I don't know." "Great Plan B, Hunter!" Seems like a cromulent time to use this again.
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